#the old woman dying scene can be made so edgy when in reality I was trying to complete my sims bloody aspiration and I needed him to watch

[thebirdmanhewatches]

Me casually creating my third set of sims featuring a god figure self insert, the central focus of its torment, those complicit, and a child chosen: sure hope I don’t accidentally make a story more beautiful than any I try to construct with thought

[soapsilly]

Not him - Tom Holland x Reader

Pairings: Tom Holland x reader; (slight Post Malone x reader)

Summary: (Y/N) and Tom got together on the set of Spider-Man. But the relationship doesn’t work out the way both of them had hoped for. What happens when (Y/N) gets over Tom faster than he would like? How will they act when they first see each other again in person on set for the new movie when neither of them can let go of their resentment?

Requests are open!

I guess, you could label this as Angst? Eventhough I don’t think it’s that angsty. I’m also terrible at writing summaries. Also, for the new love interest I chose Post Malone, because I needed a celebrity in the same age range as the main characters and also I’m kinda obsessed with him at the moment, so sorry if he’s not everyone’s type. However, this isn’t about him, so sorry if I didn’t exactly nail his personality.

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“Are you being serious?”, (Y/N) questioned her boyfriend. She couldn’t believe what she just heard.

“Here we go again”, Tom said rolling his eyes, “yes, I am serious”

(Y/N) chose to ignore that little dig at her but instead continued, “So, you’re seriously planning to move her in?”

“What am I supposed to do? Do you expect me to put her on the streets?”

“I expect you to at least talk to me about it!”

“I have known her for ages. There was no point in discussing it. She nedded a place to stay and I offered. End of story. She’s one of my closest childhood friends! Can we please not fight about this? Please? You’re leaving to shoot soon. You won’t even notice she’s here.”

"I don’t want to fight with you, love. But she’s a childhood friend that you told me you were in love with for the longest time! That I’m leaving makes it worse actually. Besides, you already spend the majority of your time with her. Do you really have to move her in now, too?”

It was true, Melanie was one of Tom’s oldest friends back in London. They grew up in the same neighbourhood and shared the same friend group. And he was crushing on her hard when he was younger.

“So you conveniently ignore that I hang out with all my old friends?”, Tom was getting more and more annoyed now. What was her problem?

“You can’t seriously expect me to spend all my time with you! I’m gone for so long at a time. Let me just spend some time with my people!”, Tom grew frustrated now.

“Your people... You spend all your free time with your people! And I’m at home going to bed alone almost every night. Why did you even ask me to come stay with you here, when you just leave me all the time?”, she was close to tears now. She felt lonely.

“I’m beginning to ask myself the same question. What has gotten into me?”

(Y/N) was quiet for a moment. That stung. The world knew Tom as that silly goofball, which he was - most of the time at least. But he could also be a proper bastard if he wanted to.

The girl took a deep breath.

“Listen, I understand that you want to help your friend but I just wished for you to talk to me first before you made that decision”, she continued much calmer now.

But Tom was having none of it. He was fired up now and annoyed by his girlfriend’s constant nagging.

“(Y/N)! How am I supposed to talk to you when you get so overly emotional all the time? You’re so fucking sensitive!”

“So you don’t talk to me at all? What kinda logic is that? Tom look at us. We’re fighting. Again. I can’t remember the last time we had a nice evening together. I can’t remember the last time we slept with each other...”

“You’re being dramatic. It hasn’t been that long”

“It has, too!”

“What do you want me to do? You’re smothering me! Of course I’d rather spend time with Mel. She’s not nagging me all the damn time!”

This was the first time he admitted to it. 

Both of them stood still, facing each other.

“(Y/N)-”, Tom started but (Y/N) just held up her hand, effectively silencing him.

“Tom. Have you cheated on me with Melanie?”

“What? Of course not! (Y/N) I love you. Nobody else. I wouldn’t do that to you”, he tried to reassure her. Suddenly he felt bad for what he said.

“Have you thought about it? Even for just a second?”

“(Y/N), please...”, he pleaded with her.

“I’m leaving”

*******************************************************************************************

It’s been a few months since (Y/N) left Tom. He still felt bad for how their last fight ended and he was sure that if he hadn’t gotten so fired up, she’d still be there with him.

Tom asked her to stay, pleaded even, when she was picking up her stuff from all over his apartment. But after the logistics of separating where figured out neither of them talked to the other. (Y/N) made it clear to him, that she wasn’t interested in talking anymore. It was hard for him to accept and move on. He’d struggle to keep his mind off of his ex-lover. There were so many things that reminded him of her - so many things that he didn’t even realize before. The smell of coffee for example.

Eventhough, it was hard for Tom, his friends kept his mind occupied for long enough to relax a little and have some fun. None of them knew about the reason for their split. He told everybody it just didn’t work out between them. Only Harrison and his brothers knew the real reason of what happened. Only they saw him struggle. 

The shooting for the next Spider-Man movie would start soon, so he’d be scheduled to give some interviews. All the tabloids were of course hoping Tom would give out secret details about the movie; that they’d be the first ones to report.

“Mornin’ Mate, how’re things today?” Harrison asked his friend, when they first arrived at the car that would get them to the interview place his management had organized.

“Actually, things are great, Haz! I think today is going to be good”, Tom answered truthfully. He was looking forward to today. There was no trace of any struggle on his face. No thoughts were spent on (Y/N) since Tom woke up this morning.

Harrison was glad. He wished for his best friend to move on and be happy again.

Tom was sitting in an empty room, lost in his thoughts after several hours of interviews, when a women in a grey blazer entered the room. 

“Good afternoon, Mr. Holland”, she greeted him.

Tom was pulled back to reality.

“Good afternoon, pleasure to meet you. You can call me Tom by the way”, he greeted back. 

The women continued to set up the interview. What followed were several different variations of the same questions he had already answered throughout the day. 

While Tom enjoyed talking about his new movies, getting the same questions over and over again was getting a little boring. However, he had managed to not spoil a single thing about the movie, which he was immensely relieved about.

“So, the character of Felicia Hardy or maybe better known as Black Cat was introduced to the Spider-Man universe in the last movie. (F/N) (L/N) did an amazing job portraying her and the audience loved the new character”

Here we go again. 

Tom already knew this was coming. Every interviewer so far asked about (Y/N) and him. But he was prepared.

“Yes, (Y/N) really is an amazing actress. I’m happy I was given the chance to work with her”

 “So, you and Miss (L/N) started dating on set of the last movie but a few months ago you announced your split on social media. Last movie’s post credit scene suggested she’d be part of the new movie aswell. What do you expect returning on set, considering the current circumstances ?”, the woman continued.

Tom took a deep breath. He’s done this before.

“The split was amicable. When we realized the relationship wouldn’t work out, we mutually decided we’re better off as friends”  

Lie.

“So you two are still in contact?”

“Yes, of course. We are both busy with our schedules but we both keep in contact regularly”  

Lie.

“That’s amazing. So there won’t be any hard feelings on set”, she concluded.

“No, of course not. I’m really looking forward to seeing her again in person”  

Somewhat the truth. 

“You are one of the hottest singles on he market right now. We are dying to know: Is there anybody that has  caught your eye yet? Seeing as lately (Y/N) has been seen getting cozy with rapper Post Malone..”

WTF??

Tom tried to not show his reaction to the newly found information. He awkwardly denied having his eye on anyone at the moment and they wrapped up the interview.

Tom was grateful that that was the last interview of the day. As soon as the lady left, he stormed over to Harrison, who was just as shocked as he was. He was already on his phone searching for evidence for the lady’s claims.

“Is it true?”, Tom asked his friend.

“Seems like it...”, Harrison showed the actor his phone. A picture of (Y/N) and Post Malone outside of a restaurant, holding hands lit up his phone screen.

Tom grabbed the phone and swiped further and further. There were a few more pictures of them together. Holding hands, snuggling -  even one picture that showed them kissing.

For a second he felt a myriad of emotions cascading down upon him.

Shame. Anger. Sadness.

On one hand he felt embarrassed that he was mourning after their relationship while she was already out in the field dating around. On the other hand he felt angry. Did their relationship mean nothing to her? Was he not important to her?

And on a whole other hand he felt sad. He didn’t know what he expected but maybe there was still a little hope within him that they could get together again once the shooting would start.

But at the same time there was doubt lurking in the back of his mind. He always knew there was a discrepancy between him and her. While he was always more goofy and childlike, she was more grunge and edgy. Of course, it didn’t help that she was constantly fangirling over the musician. 

“I love a man with a clear aesthetic” is what she used to say. And who had a clearer aesthetic than Post Malone? Next to him he felt like a slice of untoasted white bread. 

“Tom?”, Harrison saw his friend spiraling.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”, Tom exclaimed. 

Lashing out on the ones he loved seemed to be a recurring theme with him lately.

Harrison pulled up his his hands in surrender.

“Calm down, mate. I didn’t know either”

Tom left to wait in the car. He was awfully quiet for the remainder of the day.

So much for today being good...

*******************************************************************************************

It’s been a few weeks since Tom started shooting. As the main actor he had to be on set before anybody else did. (Y/N) arrived a few weeks later, Black Cat was not yet one of the main characters, so there was no need for (Y/N) to be there from the beginning. 

Tom didn’t sleep well the night before (Y/N) was supposed to arrive. He has neither seen her nor talked to her since she left his apartment all those months ago. He was worried as to how to interact with her.

When Tom finally arrived on set, she was already there, chatting with Zendaya. The two of them hit it off immediately when they first met during the first movie.

When Zendaya saw Tom she grew quiet. Of course, she knew about their split but she didn’t know how he would react to seeing her for the first time after it. And she would’ve much preferred to not be present during their first meeting.

(Y/N) stopped mid-sentence and followed Zendaya’s gaze meeting Tom’s eyes, who was standing like a deer in the headlights. Eyes wide and his mouth slightly agape.

“Excuse me for a moment”, (Y/N) told her friend and made her way over to her ex-lover.

“Hello, Tom”

“Hey..”, Tom was unsure what to say.

“How’re ya? Everything good?”

She always did this. Asked how somebody was and already suggested the answer to go with.

“Yeah I’m good. And you? How’re you?”, he asked her back eventhough he already know what she was gonna answer. He just knew her like that.

“You know.. It is what it is”, she shrugged, but sent him a wink after that.

They chatted for a few more minutes about how excited she was to start shooting again, but never about anything deeper.

He didn’t ask her about her new relationship. She didn’t ask him about Melanie.

Then they parted again.

*******************************************************************************************

“You again?”, Peter in his Spider-Man suit swung onto the roof, where Felicia was tinkering around.

“Hello, Spider”, the Black Cat greeted him without looking up.

“You know? I’m actually kind of on a date right now, so maybe we could settle this quick and easy?”, Peter suggested, knowing that Michelle was waiting just at the other side of the street. When Karen notified him of an attempted break-in, he made up a quick excuse and left her standing.

The girl straightened up and started to circle Peter slowly.

“Is that your girl down there? She’s cute. I wouldn’t let her wait if I were you”, she pointed towards where Michelle was standing, looking around for Peter.

Peter furrowed his brows underneath his mask.

“Nice suit by the way”, she commented further. She only wore some black combat boots, a pair of pants, a crop top and  a tighter top underneath. All black of course. The only thing that would ever even suggest she wasn’t just an ordinary girl were the black mask she was wearing and the devices on both of her wrists, that her claws and other similar gadgets were attached to.

“I, myself, prefer to not stand out as much. Not really a look you want to achieve... as a master thief, you know?”, she continued.

“You know? Someone once told me there’s usually not this much talking in a fight”, Peter told Felicia.

“Oh but we’re not fighting, silly”, she chuckled lowly. Something about her made Peter suspicious. What was she doing?

“Well, whatever it is what we are doing. I’m stopping you!”, Peter puffed his chest up.

“There’s no need, Spider. I already got what I want”, she showed him a stunning diamond collier dangling between her fingers, “do you think this suits me?” 

She held the necklace up to her cleavage, batting her eyelashes.

Peter de-puffed his chest. He seriously began to ask himself what they were even doing.

“Listen, I can get you back to your dimension. Just give me the necklace and come with me, Felicia. I can get you back home”, Peter tried to reason with her.

The Black Cat began walking again but stopped right behind him.

“Oh but why? I like it here. How are we going to have our little rendezvous when I’m gone, Peter”, she leaned in behind him and all but whispered his name in his ear.

For a while he was silence.

“CUT!”, the director yelled, “Tom, you missed your line”.

“Everything okay?”, (Y/N) whispered. 

But Tom was kinda shaken up. The Black Cat was less sexualized as she’d be in the comics. They were supposedd to be teenagers after all. But this was (Y/N). His (Y/N). He was okay acting with her but when she was so close to him that he could feel her breath tickling his ear, he froze up. His mind drew a blank and all he could do was stand there and wish that the ground would open up and swallow him whole.

“Five minute break, everybody”, the director announced.

As everybody scattered around, (Y/N) made her way over to her ex-lover.

“Hey.. Tom, are you okay?”

“Yes, of course I’m okay!”, Tom was exasperated, “Everybody misses their line once in a while! Why is this such a big deal?”. Tom pulled his maks off.

“Okay, chill! I was just trying to make sure you’re okay. You looked shaken up. No need for you to lash out at me”, (Y/N) bit back and turned around to leave.

“Wait!”, Tom rubbed his hands over his face, “I’m sorry. I’m just a little frustrated but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you”.

(Y/N) furrowed her brows but nodded quickly after. She was never one to hold grudges.

“I care about you, Tom”

For a moment they just stood there before (Y/N) clapped her hands.

“So, let’s get our shit together and kill this scene”

*******************************************************************************************

After weeks of working together this all felt like the first time all over again. Jacob would often joke that the “gang was back together” and at times it really felt like that.

“Do you remember when Tessa literally shredded your briefs?”, (Y/N) was wheezing at that point, tears rolling down her face, smudging her mascara.

“Yes and those were literally my last clean pair. Do you remember? I just came back from the press tour”, Tom continued.

All of them burst out laughing. It was their first free evening in a while and the group decided to spend it together with a few drinks and lots of food. Both Zendaya and Jacob feared that it might be awkward having Tom and (Y/N) there together but there was no trace of any bitterness or any other kind of hard feelings. They just felt like friends hanging out together.

“Wait, this reminds me... You left your mermaid blanket at my place”

“Hm, I’ll come get it next time I’m in London”

“I mean you’re of course always welcome to swing by but I really doubt you’d want that blanket, love. Tessa kind of claimed it as hers. There is so much drool on it... you better just get a new one”, Tom told the girl, eventhough he liked the idea of her back in his apartment.

“Well, she can keep it”, (Y/N) chuckled. She did notice his use of the word ‘love’ but she didn’t mind. It felt organic coming from him, he was British after all.

After that the conversations shifted and the boys strarted their own little talks about video games and whatnot. (Y/N) and Zendaya just caught up further, talking about their projects, giving interviews and photoshoots.

It was at that moment that the music in the background changed to Circles by Post Malone.

“Soooo.. Post Malone, huh?”, Zendaya wiggled her eyebrows at her friend.

(Y/N) shrugged and smiled sheepishly.

“What can I say?”, (Y/N) really didn’t know.

“Maybe start with how you two met?”, Zendaya suggested, grinning. She was thirsty for some gossip.

At the mention of the new topic Tom perked up but tried to stay low-key.

“I mean we followed each other on social media for a while at this point but never talked or anything. However, me and him attended the same event a few months back. I guess, we recognized one another and started vibing. I asked him about that one shirt he was wearing in the ‘Go Flex’ music video and he made sure to dig it out of his closet and gave it to me. After that we just kept talking”, she tried to be nonchalant but it was apparent to the others that she was a little flustered.

“Awww, that’s so cute”, Zendaya reacted.

(Y/N) broke out grinning.

“You guys don’t realize how crazy talented he is. So fun to be around and creative, too. I’ve never met anybody that extravagant but at the same time so down to earth. Our first date was at an Olive Garden. Can you imagine? We freaking drove there in a Rolce Royce”, if this were anything other than real life, the girl would’ve had heart-eyes by now.

Tom had heard enough. He stood up abruptly.

“Anybody want another drink? I’ll get enother round”, he offered. He didn’t want to make a scene. He just needed to get away for a moment.

When he returned the topic of conversation had changed, which Tom was thankful for.

“Virgin Colada for you”, he handed (Y/N) her drink.

“And for the rest of us... The grown up drinks”, he teased (Y/N), who in return stuck her tongue out at him.

The evening was too nice to ruin it now with hurt feelings. She seemed happy and as long as he could just ignore Post Malone even existed in his sphere, he’d be alright.

*******************************************************************************************

It was a nice morning on set. Tom and (Y/N) already had an early scene that was set during sunrise, which meant they had to get up earlier than (Y/N) would’ve liked.

They were given a short break but catching up on sleep would mean getting out of their costumes and messing up their hair and make up. So, not an option really.

“I don’t operate well when I’m tired”, (Y/N) whined as she and an Tom returned to where the trailers were standing.

“M’lady, may I invite you for a cup of coffee? It might lift your spirits”, Tom bowed down but looked up at the girl with a cheeky grin.

“You realize the coffee is free, right?”, (Y/N) deadpanned.

Tom shrugged and both burst out laughing, bickering on their way to the catering.

The others were already there, when they arrived. But they were not just on their own. Next to Zendaya stood a  young man and a women, that seemed to be a little older than them.

“Morning, guys, how did your scene go?”, Jacob greeted the new arrivals.

“It’s been good. Too early though.. I mean if you ask me at least”, (Y/N) answered.

“How are you?”, Tom asked.

“Everything good?”, (Y/N) added.

“Can’t complain”, Zendaya answered, “let me introduce you to my family. This is my mom, Claire. And this is my brother, Austin”

Zendaya was grinning from ear to ear. 

They were around the halfway point of shooting, which was usually when people liked their friends and family to come around and visit them.

(Y/N) mimicked her friend’s smile and greeted the visitors. It was nice meeting the family behind the actors and creators.

While Tom was greeting Zendaya’s family, (Y/N) turned towards her with her eyebrows raised.

“Girl, your brother is mighty fine”, she not so subtly murmured.

“It must be nice to have your family here”, Tom turned to Zendaya.

“Yes, of course. I’ve missed them so much”, she squeezed her mothers hand, “do you have any visits arranged?”

“Uh, no. Not yet. But I do have a little while to go still”, he answered.

“(Y/N), you must be excited for next week, right?”, Jacob asked the actress.

“Why? What happens next week?”, Tom was puzzled.

“Austin is visiting”, (Y/N) informed him.

The Brit raised his eyebrows.

“You’re kidding right?”, he was looking around, waiting for someone to tell him this was just an unfunny joke.

“No, why would I be?”, his ex-girlfriend inquired.

“Because this is low, (Y/N). Really low even”, Tom grunted, “I need to get out of here”.

With that he left the group standing and stormed away.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N). I didn’t mean to stirr anything up”, Jacob scrambled for an apology. He didn’t mean to ruin the mood.

“No. Don’t feel sorry, Jacob. I’m tired of walking on eggshells around him. We are adults. I’ve moved on and he should too. Just give him a little time to calm down”, she assured him.

Then she turned towards the buffet had had her breakfast. 

The following week was a little strange. (Y/N) felt bad for Tom but she was so done with making apologies. 

The both of them still worked fine together but other than that they were a little distanced. They still talked and they still hung out as a group but whatever progress the two of them have made so far was out of the window. The tension, however, did help their fighting scenes together.

(Y/N) was sad about losing Tom as a friend but she also realized she couldn’t expect them to still be friends after she broke up with him. Being civil was enough for her -  at least for the moment.

*******************************************************************************************

(Y/N) was giddy on the morning Austin was suppsoed to arrive. She really did miss him and with the Tom situation going on, she felt especially estranged from  everything.

The musician arrived just as (Y/N) had finished her final scene for the day. She was still in costume but that didn’t stop her from sprinting over to her new boyfriend and clinging onto him.

“Austin!”, she squealed.

He engulfed her in a hug, swallowing her body completely. 

“I missed you”, he whispered into her neck. 

“Ahem...”

(Y/N) heard someone clear their throat from behind her. When she turned around, she saw Zendaya, Jacob and Tom waiting impatiently. In Tom’s case, however, he just looked more annoyed at the public display of affection.

“Don’t you want to introduce us?”, Zendaya suggested. She, too, was excited to meet Post Malone, who was one of the most successful musicians at the moment.

“Yes, of course. Austin, those are Zendaya, Jacob and Tom. Guys, this is Austin”, she introduced everybody.

“Dude, it’s so dope to meet all y’all. Being on set of Spider-Man is so surreal”, Posty beamed. He was never one to be shy around new people.

“Hey, can I leave you here for a second? How about I go change and then we go have dinner?”, (Y/N) suggested.

“Fine by me”, her boyfriend shrugged and (Y/N) left them to go change.

When she returned they were still stood there talking about god knows what. Tom looked a little displeased but other than that there was no indicator for anything other than a friendly conversation.

Austin put his arm her shoulder when she reached them but didn’t stop his conversation until Zendaya ended her sentence.

“All good? We ready to leave?”, he turned towards her and pressed a kiss on the crown of her head, as he was way taller than the girl.

Tom pulled a face when he did that, but tried to get it together before anybody could notice.

“So, are you guys joining us?”, Austin asked the group.

“Can’t unfortunately”, Jacob answered for them.

“Still got some scenes that need to be shot today”, Tom added. This was probably the first time he was thankful for his busy schedule. He didn’t think he could stand seeing them together. Especially seeing how affectionate they were with each other. There was no use in denying it anymore. He was jealous. And why was that? Because he was still in love with (F/N) (L/N).

“Aww that’s too bad, man. But next time for sure, ye?”, the rapper answered before they all said their goodbyes and parted.

At night after dinner (Y/N) and Austin were lying in bed talking about everything that they have missed out on the other’s everyday lives. Music, shooting, friends and family...

“So, how have you been? You told me you’re worried it’d be weird interacting with your ex again but he seems pretty nice to me”, Post asked the girl.

She was tracing his exposed tattoos with her finger, something he really enjoyed. Austin wasn’t always the most confident in his looks but that didn’t matter to her. 

“He is”, she finally answered, “he’s a great guy. Usually very sweet and caring.. I think maybe him and me could be friends again..”

“Wow. Seems like you miss him. Should I be worried?”, he looked down at her.

She was still concentrated on his tattoos on his chest, when he said that but looked up at him to answer.

“No. Of course n-”, she started to deny but that was already enough for him to flip them over and pepper her with kisses and tickles, making her squeal and flail around, trying to escape his grasp.

*******************************************************************************************

It’s been a few days since (Y/N)’s new boyfriend arrived and Tom hated to admit it, but Austin Post was actually a decent guy, that he would probably even like if it wasn’t for him being with his ex-girlfriend, that he was very much still in love with. Austin’s likeability made Tom dislike him even more though. It would be so much easier if he were just an overall unpleasant bloke.

“So, Austin, how long are you staying?”, Zendaya asked him over breakfast.

“Uh just a couple more days”, he answered with his mouth still half full.

“Ah that’s nice. So you’ll still be here when Melanie arrives”, Tom spoke up.

(Y/N) almost broke her neck whipping her head around at the mention of that name.

She slammed down her cutlery, stood up and gestured for Tom to follow her, which he did.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”, she yelled once she was out of earshot.

“What’s wrong with me?”, Tom whipped around.

The girl was surprised by his outburst.

“Don’t you think it’s a little class-less to literally fly out your new guy?”, his tone turned condescending.

“Goddamnit, Tom! Are we still not over that? Everybody is flying their loved ones out, why shouldn’t I?”, (Y/N) was getting fired up now.

“I could ask you the same question, (Y/N). I’m merely having a good friend of mine visit me. What’s the difference?”

“The difference is, Tom, that you flew her out out of spite. You had no intention to have her visit you, before you found out that Austin was going to come visit. We are broke up. Do you expect me to stay single forever?”

“Well, you got over me awfully fast, didn’t you Sweetheart?”, he spat the last part, not even denying her accusation. (Y/N) couldn’t help but notice how handsome he looked with his hair unkempt from ruffling it in his frustration, but she chose to ignore those feelings bubbling up inside of her.

“Well, you made it awfully easy for me, Sweetheart!”, she mimicked him.

“And why is that? Because I helped a friend? Your jealousy ruined this relationship,(Y/N)!”, Tom didn’t mean what he said but he was too hurt to care at the moment.

“Yes, of course. I ruined this relationship. It wasn’t the fact that you literally moved in another girl?”, (Y/N) was being unfair now. She didn’t have a problem with Melanie at all. She never made a move at Tom or gave (Y/N) any other reason to disklike her. She was actually a really sweet girl. But (Y/N) was too hurt to care at the moment.

“You’re seriously worried about me having cheated on you? He is fucking rapper! What do you think he does when he’s on tour?”, Tom threw up his hands.

“Austin hasn’t given me any reason to doubt him. He’s been nothing but amazing to me. That’s more that I could say for you”, she dug at him.

To say that this didn’t hurt would’ve been a lie. Tom was taken aback for a moment before he just muttered a ‘fine’ and left her standing.

From then on it was radio silence between the two of them.  (Y/N) was looking forward to the end of shooting. When she broke up with Tom, she didn’t anticipate this all to blow up in their faces like this. She didn’t want to create a hostile environment for anybody. She knew for a fact that Zendaya and Jacob felt uncomfortable with the current situation. They felt like the victims of a bad divorce. And even Tom seemed to be more down than she had seen him in a while.

(Y/N) greeted Melanie when she arrived but other than that she kept to herself. She dreaded the day Austin had to leave again because that would mean she’d be alone with Tom and Melanie.

Tom was happy to have Mel with him again. (Y/N) wasn’t the only one that was feeling bad about the whole situation. Instead of connecting with her again, he had just driven her away further.

However, neither of them could let go of their resentment. Both of them were desperate to get some kind of reaction out of the other.

“Here, Mel. You really gotta try these! They taste amazing”, Tom held his spoon out for Melanie to try the tasty dessert. Them sharing food wasn’t something out of the ordinary for them but usually Tom wouldn’t spoon-feed his friends. At this moment, though, he tried to be as animated as possible to make sure (Y/N) noticed.

And she did notice. It took a lot from her to not give him the reaction he was gunning for. Instead she made it a point to get really cozy with her new boyfriend to show her ex that she wasn’t bothered at all.

“Babe, not that I don’t enjoy making out with you but I know you’re doing this to get back at Tom”, Austin murmured in his lover ear after they parted their kiss. His husky voice was sending goosebumps down her spine - not least because  she knew he was right.

“You should talk to him”

*******************************************************************************************

”Tom,  can we talk?”, it took (Y/N) a great deal of convincing herself to make her way over to him.

Tom was surprised, he didn’t expect her to ever speak to him again but complied.

They made their way over to her trailer and sat down inside of it. Neither of them said a word.  (Y/N) didn’t know why she was feeling so nervous. It’s just Tom. 

Get yourself together, damnit. Deep breath and go...

“Tom.. I’m sorry”, she already had thought exactly of what what she was going to say but at the moment drew a complete blank.

“What for?”, Tom was being huffy.

“Everything. You are right. I shouldn’t have just flown Austin out. I should have at least talked to you beforehand. I really didn’t mean to hurt you...”

“Me neither”,  Tom softened up.

For a moment they just sat in silence, but for the first time since they started shooting it wasn’t uncomfortable at all.

“I miss you, you know”, he looked up from his lap and into her eyes. She was about to answer, when he silenced her.

“I miss you so damn much and I hate seeing you with him. He seems like a great dude but (Y/N) be honest with me... Do you really love him?”

(Y/N) was taken aback. She did not expect that sort of question now.

“I.. I do”, she answered truthfully. Tom’s face fell. How could he be so stupid and still hope there’d be a future for them that’s anything but friendly.

“But it’s not the same... I love him. He’s amazing but he’s not you”

She felt so terrible for saying that. Austin has been nothing but loving to her and they haven’t fought once in all that time that they were together but being around Tom again showed her that there was something missing.

Tom perked up, he couldn’t believe his ears but when he properly registered her words a show stopping grin found it’s way on his face.

“That’s amazing. I mean not for him obviously but.. you know what I mean", Tom was excited. They could start over again and be better than they were before. 

He noticed that (Y/N) didn’t share the same excitement as him.

“Love, are you okay? Are you not happy?”, Tom scooted closer to her.

“No, I am. It’s just, we can’t just pick up where we left off, Tom. We.. we.. Austin wasn’t the problem that broke us up to begin with. We can’t ignore everything that has been going on”, sounded desperate. It’s true though. Just because she didn’t feel the same way for her new boyfriend as she felt for Tom, didn’t mean all their other problems were gone.

Tom craddled her face in his hands.

“Darling, it’s going to be okay. Look at me. We won’t do the same mistakes again, okay?”, Tom leaned his forehead against hers. (Y/N) was always a rather anxious person that needed to be calmed down frequently, when she was freaking out.

She took a deep breath and relaxed into his touch. It was nice to feel his skin against hers again.

“You okay?”, Tom asked.

She nodded and a small smile found it’s way on her face.

At this moment Tom couldn’t resist anymore. It’s been too long that he had felt her lips against his but just as he was about to lean in she pulled back.

“What are you doing? Tom, I’m still in a relationship... It wouldn’t be fair to Austin if we’d started foolin aroung behind his back. Let me at least talk to him before we properly make-up”

Tom did feel a little disappointed but understood what she was saying.

“Not even a little peck?”, he tried but shut up when (Y/N) shot him a warning look. One could try...

Both of them exited her trailer. While (Y/N) made her way over to where Post was waiting, Tom joined Melanie and his co-stars again. Tom’s good mood didn’t go unnoticed though.

“What got you all smiles?”, Zendaya teased.

“I may or may not have made up with (Y/N)”, Tom bragged in a sing-song voice.

“Wait what? When did that happen? Not that I’m not happy for you but last time I saw her she was making out with Post Malone”, Zendaya was thrown off by the newly found information and while Tom explained the situation (Y/N) had to break the news to Austin.

She didn’t want to have this conversation but she was confident that she was naking the right decision.

“Hey, Babe. Did you two talk it out?”, Austin looked up from his phone when his girl approached him.

“Austin? Can we talk?”, it was the second time today that she would have to use that phrase. She couldn’t but to think how cliche she sounded.

“Oh oh. That doesn’t sound good”, his smile faded, “you’re not breaking up with me, are you?”

There was no need for her to answer his question because as soon as she teared up he got his answer.

“Nononono. Don’t cry, please”, he tried to soothe her which made her feel even worse. Why was he being so nice to her?

“What happened, (Y/N)?”

“We talked”

“I figured that much”

Ouch..

“Well, I apologized and so did he. We kinda made up”

“There is probably no use trying to convince you otherwise, huh?”, Austin had already admitted defeat.

“Probably not”

“I never stood a chance, did I? It’s always been him...”, he huffed out a laugh. He sounded disappointed but he was coping.

“That’s not true. I think you are one of the most remarkable people I’ve ever had the fortune of meeting but ...”

“But I’m not him”, Austin ended her sentence for her.

“I’m so sorry. I really do love you but being on set with him again just brought back all those feelings”

Both were just sitting there for a moment.

“But we’re still friends right?”, Austin broke the silence, looking at the girl across from him.

(Y/N) blinked for a few times.

“Of course”, she was so perplexed. She didn’t expect him to not be pissed at her. He chuckled when he saw how confused the girl was. He wasn’t  mad at her. She had feelings for someone else. That’s something out of her control. He did however still want to have her in his life - even if it’d be just as friends.

“C’mere”, he held out his arms and engulfed her in a massive bear hug.

“I don’t understand. You’re not angry?”

“No, how could I? We’re cool”, he reassured her, “but I can’t promise I won’t write a song ot two about you”

“Well, I can’t blame you”

They both had a laugh about it but then the atmosphere became a little more serious again.

“I should go”, Austin broke the silence.

“You don’t have to”

“No front, but, (Y/N), I really don’t want to see you with Tom. At least not at the moment”, he explained to her. 

(Y/N) just nodded. She didn’t want to make things worse for him. While he took the news like a pro, she could still see that he was hurt. He was not about to fight a battle he already knew he couldn’t win but it really wasn’t a good feeling to be left for someone else either.

The two of them hugged it out for a little while longer and then Austin made his way to leave the set back to his hotel room to pack his bags and fly home.

He stopped to say goodbye to the others. Eventhough he would rather not see Tom at the moment, just leaving without a word would be rude. Also, he was not about to leave with his tail between his legs. He was Post Malone after all.

When he approached the others their conversation died down and Tom’s bright smile disappeared completely. There was no way for him to know how the rapper would react. But the latter decided to not say anything at all. 

Austin said his goodbyes and turned to leave but before he left, he told Tom something only they could hear.

*******************************************************************************************

Back in her hotel room, (Y/N) tried to relax after the long day she just had. The last time she was this exhausted was ages ago.

At the moment, she was getting ready to take a shower and go snuggle up in bed to get some sleep before she had to leave to shoot the next morning.

Just as she was about to hop under the warm, relaxing water, there was a knock on her door. (Y/N) didn’t expect anybody this late but she had an idea who it could be.

“Hello, Tom”, she greeted her lover.

“Can I come in? Or am I interrupting something?”, the actor looked the girl up and down. He couldn’t help but have his eyes linger a little as he couldn’t help but notice she was only dressed in a towel at the moment.

“I was just about to have a shower but you’re welcome to come in and wait”, she told him.

As he closed the door behind him she turned around and added, “or you could join me of course”

She made it sound like an option but that opportunity was too good for Tom to pass up.

Being underneath the water with him just felt right. He was a little taller than her so the water from his hair dripped down on her face as they were standing chest to chest. He leaned down and his lips met hers. She started smiling into the kiss nefore they parted.

“I missed this”, Tom’s voice was husky.

She did too. She wasn’t a fool, there was still a  lot to work through but at this very moment everything just felt right. His body against hers felt right. His lips on hers felt right. Them together... felt so right.

“I love you, Tom” 

*******************************************************************************************

Epilogue

Both of them were cuddled in bed dressed in the white, fluffy bathrobes the hotel provided, talking about anything and everything with the occasional kiss in between.

“It’s two o’clock already. We should really go to sleep if we want to be able to function tomorrow”, she reminded her boyfriend.

“At this point, I am tempted to pull an all-nighter, love”, he winked at her.

“An all-nighter doing what exactly?”, (Y/N) teased her man.

“You know? Before Post left he told me to be good to you and I think that’s exactly  what I will be doing tonight”

“I really don’t think that’s what he meant, babe”, she laughed.

“Close enough for me”, he murmured as he leaned down to kiss her once again but most definitely not for the last time that night.

[unbearablylight]

Hi! I loved your AHS: Cult post, you summed up a lot of the thoughts I had on the wasted potential this season's premise has. I was just wondering what your thoughts were on the previous seasons? I find them to be really hit or miss in terms of tackling social themes and just storytelling overall and I would love to hear your thoughts! :)

Thank you! I liked your addendum, too; I hadn’t heard Adina Porter was coming back so I’m interested to see what she’ll add. And yeah, I agree a lot of it tends to be really hit or miss. I’m going to try to make this as brief as possible, because otherwise I could write an entire thesis on AHS and that’s probably too long for right now.

The best way to do it is to probably give my ranking of seasons and a short reasoning as to why. So, here goes:

1. Murder House

Granted it’s been a while since I’ve watched this season, but from what I remember it wasn’t really trying to be anything other than a really terrifying show. And it was great at that. The plot is sometimes a little confusing or nonexistent, but it terrifies in a way that no other season has really done to me since. There doesn’t seem to be much of a message or tie in to social themes, besides possibly Jamie Brewer playing such a large and beloved character. Ryan Murphy often has really great concepts for TV shows that then fade out over time, but since this is the first season, it was fun and exciting and something new on television.

2. Hotel

For a while, I’ve been debating whether or not Hotel beat out Asylum, but as I’m writing this I feel like it did, so I’m putting it second. This is largely based on personal opinion more than anything. Hotel felt like a rebirth for the show. It was creepy and twisted, had a decent plot and characters you could root for, and was actually scary where Coven and Freak Show hadn’t really been. I think the addition of Lady Gaga was an excellent one, and she was used just the perfect amount. I had feared she would become Jessica Lange’s replacement, and I think a lot of the downfall of Coven and Freak Show stems from too much of a focus on Lange, but Gaga was merely another member of the ensemble cast.

While I didn’t care much for Wes Bentley’s character, I loved the whole Ten Commandments murder thing (really anything that twists biblical stuff is fascinating to me for some reason). Denis O’Hare worried me at first, but I think the show did a good job at telling a heartfelt, honest story about Liz’s relationship with her son towards the later part of the season. I only wish they had cast an actual transgender actress. Again, I think what you said in your addition to the Cult post is right: AHS is better when social themes are pieces of the show, not entire concepts. This is another one that just seems to want to tell a story.

3. Asylum

The reason I rank Asylum lower is I really could not get into Sarah Paulson’s character for some reason, which sucked because she was most of the focus. I feel like I should go back and rewatch this season now that I love her as an actress, because when I originally watched it she drove me nuts. Other than that, I think it’s about equal with Hotel — decent plot (I think the story derails mostly with the aliens because, like, what?), a medium amount of scary, some good characters. Sarah playing a lesbian at first seemed out of place to me, but when it landed her in the Asylum I understood why they did it. Evan being in an interracial relationship kinda pricked me though. Ryan Murphy seems to have this weird thing for doing something mildly taboo (usually in a sort of socially forward-thinking way) and feeling edgy for it. “It’s the 60s and he’s with a black girl, gasp!” It didn’t really tie into anything with the plot, and the girl hardly appears throughout the season, so it felt like nothing more than a pat on the back for making a statement.

It does have one of the best opening credit sequences, though.

4. Roanoke

Roanoke had the benefit of being really goddamn scary a lot of the time, but the plot was an utter nightmare of writing. One show within a show was already kind of annoying, two was getting ridiculous. By the end we had like 6 and I just wanted it to be over with.

I honestly don’t remember a lot of what was going on, other than they were a bunch of idiots trapped in Murder House Part 2. I know you mentioned Adina and the racial subtext she faced throughout the season, but this would have been a lot more effective if she hadn’t been like... the actual worst. Being unfairly criminalized and vilified for killing her husband would have been far more effective if she hadn’t actually done it. I really just kind of hated her by the end and was furious she was the one that got to survive (although the very ending of the show makes it clear as to why it has to be her).

And speaking of surviving, Sarah Paulson should have walked away from all of this. She survives the entire night, only to get gunned down by a bunch of police officers. Which, just... it doesn’t make sense? She’s a white woman who appears to be in distress. If anything, I was surprised Adina wasn’t shot. It would have been terrible, but she was a black woman who already was widely disliked and who might have killed an entire house full of people (from the cops’ perspective, not knowing the truth of Roanoke). That whole scene just felt very weird and out of touch with reality to me, idk. I’m tired of seeing cops shoot first and ask questions later, so basically that scene just shouldn’t have happened at all. There are a hundred other ways Sarah could have died.

5. Freak Show

I am probably the only person I know who ranks Freak Show anywhere other than last, but I’ll get to why when I get to Coven.

It’s not good. We all know that. It wasn’t scary, the plot’s all over the place and uninteresting, and the amount of potential it had made it a real let down. It does have some saving graces, though. Murphy has experience with this sort of “god help the outcasts” narrative from Glee. Jessica Lange is a slightly more interesting character than she was in Coven, albeit they’re far too similar, Evan Peters is actually a person, and Sarah Paulson delivers one of (two of?) her best performances in my opinion.

The major downfalls: I did not care about Kathy Bates at all (tbh, I don’t think she’s had a good character yet, except maybe the Butcher). The last episode where they just shoot everyone dead was a major copout. There are far more interesting ways to end a show, or even to kill a large portion of the cast. Emma Roberts suffers the second most brutal death in AHS history, trapped in a box and sawed in half by Neil Patrick Harris. I don’t know what it is about this show, but it loves to see Emma suffer at the complete mercy of a man.

Also, it was just really boring.

6. Coven

Oh, Coven. Where to even begin with you. This post has already gotten really long so I’ll try to condense as much as I can, but just know I could probably write a novel on why Coven is The Worst. And I think at the foundation of that is the fact that a large portion (maybe even the majority?) of the fandom considers it to be the best, if not up there. Which is just really harmful.

You take a season full of really incredible actresses. Like there are a lot of them, many of them very well-known and highly acclaimed. You stick them all in a house together, in a pseudo-sorority type of situation. What you should get is one of the strongest arguments for how women can lead a show and hold their own without men.

Instead, what we got was Coven. In which every female character is poorly written, exists solely for a man, and/or is there to compete with (and often be bitchy to) the other women.

A bulleted list of further atrocities (because there are too many):

Emma Roberts suffering the most brutal death in AHS history. Watching her get choked out by Evan on that bed for like a full minute (despite the fact that she was a powerful witch who could have killed him in a nanosecond) disturbed me to no end, especially given their history.

Kathy Bates suffering from Murphy’s Law of No Character Development (patent pending). Ryan Murphy sucks at sticking to character development. Bates could have been a really powerful tool to show that ignorance often is the root of hatred, and her relationship with Gabourey Sidibe could have caused a change of heart, but one episode she was actually learning, and the next she was back to her shitty racist old self again.

Gabourey Sidibe playing the Race Card. And I don’t take that term lightly. I mean she literally said “You don’t like me ‘cause I’m black,” when a) no one had expressed any disdain to her at all (outside of Emma Roberts’ general bitching to all of them), and b) her weight probably got more comments than her race had. This line literally sounded like something written by a white dude who probably thinks reverse racism is real.

The race politics were a mess in general, tbh. Especially concerning their different uses of magic.

Lily Rabe dying??? For no reason??? Rude more than anything else.

Jessica Lange syndrome started to take over the show in this season, and this was her worst character. She shouldn’t have been so much of a focus.

The only good things to happen this season were Jessica and Angela taking out those business men (iconic, but from what I can tell — because I don’t remember exactly — the Axeman does most of the killing for them), the Coven chasing out the Axeman, and Sarah becoming the supreme (which I had unfortunately guessed like 3 episodes in, so it wasn’t that much of a mystery).

Anyways, Coven is pretty much a catalogue of the worst parts of Ryan Murphy’s writing, and there’s probably a lot I’m missing, but this is enough for now.

Sorry this is so long, yikes. But that about wraps it up I think. Honestly if you read all of this, congrats haha. And thanks for asking! I love to rant about tv (obviously).