#the only thing i'm certain of is ppl pulling a certain rule of the internet

[angeltism]

thinking abt how i'd be perceived by theoretical fans if i were to become a vtuber is like a much more serious version of those "if uu were a fandom character" polls and weirdly intimidating

[funkymbtifiction]

Hey, what would you say the significance of wings is? Do you struggle to tell if you’re a 6 or a 7 sometimes? Personally I’ve been torn between 8 and 9 since as long as I can remember discovering enneagram. I’ve got many friends who studied enneagram for years and also struggle(d) to tell between their core and their wing… they are certain it’s one or the other but flip flop between saying which is core and which is wing. This indecision happens most often when one of the types ppl are torn between is Attachment… but I have seen it happen to 7-8 liners and 1-2 liners too. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.

Wings flavor your core, but ultimately are "ruled" by your core. You are doing it "in service of" your core desires. For example, I do relate to some of the 7 stuff because of being a 6w7 (re-framing, skipping past my feelings, hating negativity, not wanting to dwell on upsetting things, always needing things to look forward to, feeling like there's so much I want to do and not enough time)...

But.

I am a super-ego type through and through, and ruled by "should." My 7 gets ruled over by my 6, who sets the agenda and is much stronger. How 7 shows up primarily on a daily basis for me is to mix a little of itself into my decisions/agenda and also cause confusion.

Like Goblins of Discord said in their 7w6 description, the 7w6 knows there's stuff they "should" be doing -- but that's boring, so I won't do it. The 6w7 knows they should do it, and they usually do it, because the guilt trip becomes too great. 7s are not afraid to self-reward, 6s feel they need to earn rewards (justify it to themselves and others).

When in doubt, strip away the externals and look at the core. 9w8s are withdrawn types who are only assertive to defend their right to be unbothered by everyone else (failing to establish boundaries, then being angry about their lack of boundaries and asserting them too late). 8w9s are assertive types who are only withdrawn in their desire to get what they want (going for it hard, and not wanting others to try to stop them, so they assert boundaries early and in many instances, too soon and too severely, then backtrack later).

The only way to prove your type to yourself is to read deeply enough about the type (in actual books that go in-depth, not YouTube "gurus" or internet forums or brief online descriptions) to identify its mechanisms and introspect long enough to see yourself using your lines not only under stress and growth, but ALL THE TIME. If you are an 8, you will have 5 in your back pocket and a pull towards 2 (paranoia moving toward tenderness and filling needs). If you are a 9, you will see 6 and 3 in yourself (6 second-guessing during stress and 3 determination once you decide what you want). If you are a 7, you will see 1 and 5. And so on.

I don't doubt I'm a 6, because I am super-ego through and through (ruled by should and attentive to other people's needs), assertiveness and gluttony plays second fiddle to my inner guilt-trips and need to be responsible, and I routinely fall into 3/9 behaviors. So I'm sure. :)

If you are still torn between to types three years into your typing journey, you are either mistyped and working on the wrong things or looking for the wrong type patterns or not introspecting enough to see your type playing out in your thought patterns. Once you land on your type, you will feel a deep sense of shame as you unearth the unconscious patterns that have ruled your life. There is an enormous ego resistance toward accepting the most shameful aspects of your core number; often, people either truly do not identify with those things and assume they are at a high health level (nope) or their pride will not allow them to admit to it and they adamantly deny it as being a problem for them, while doing that exact thing all the time (a fact that is highly visible to others).

Sometimes you will find your type and own this shameful behavior but not that one, but if you commit to introspection and working on yourself, you wear down your ego enough to accept later on that yes, this other shameful thing... I also do this. But by the time that happens and you are willing to face it, it no longer feels as devastating to admit to it.

When torn, ask yourself -- which one am I avoiding and which one am I idolizing more? Which one would bare me in a way that feels deeply uncomfortable? By continuing to feel torn between types and see them as equal, are you refusing to admit to a core weakness?