#the plot keeps building and idk how to stop it asdfghjkl

[t-lostinworlds]

.......i feel like i can’t write one-shots anymore.

[levi-my-beloved]

Birds of a Feather

Chapter one

Pairings: Canon!Levi x F!reader

Content warnings: violence, swearing

Word count: 4K

Summary: You were the most notorious criminal in the Underground City. With your organisation of highly skilled professionals, only one man could take you down. He also happened to be Humanity’s Strongest… and your ex.

A/N: asdfghjkl hello there. so, this has been on my brain for a while now, so i started this as just a drabble. what i thought would stay as just a drabble turned into this 22k+ multi chapter fic because i have zero self restraint or self respect. i’m currently finishing chapter 5 as this is being posted, but i want to keep chapters posted around once every two weeks so i can keep up with the workload. maybe once a week if i start feeling spicy. yeah plot twist this is actually the second time i’ve drafted this up. the first time i managed to get everything done and in order and then manages to delete the entire post with my huge disgusting thumbs. Genuinely felt like crying for a good half an hour.

This is also my first Levi fic! yay! lmk if it sucks and idk i’ll cry or something. nah, in all seriousness please send me criticism cuz i really want to improve and critiques are the best way.

𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔

“How down, Raven?”

“Six feet.”

Within the dank confines of a stinking alleyway, two green capes marked with the Military Police insignia crept ever closer to the taller, run-down building upon which you and your little squad of Shadows were now perched. No sunlight illuminated your position. Not that you’d ever seen the sun, or know what it even looked like, but you based your guesses upon the pathetic rays shining through the grates littering the ceiling of the Underground City.

The language you used with your Shadows, coded words translated to:

‘How do you want them to be dealt with?’

‘Death.’

It was something developed by your late guardian and mentor, Viper. See, you all had aliases in The Nest, your criminal organisation. The leader was often referred to as The Raven, however your mentor preferred to use his own nickname, stemming from his own reputation.

Then come the aliases for your Shadows. Prongs was your second, a tall, stern looking man with the black mask of a stag settled across his features.

Then came Wolf, and you swore the first time you’d set eyes on him, you thought a titan had wandered into the city. He was enormous, all 6ft 6ins of him carved in hard muscle. Slicked back silver hair and a beard that to rival a bear. Similar to Prongs, a mask sat upon his face, resembling that of a snarling wolf.

Following him was Verdant, Scales and Diablo. Your power trio. Though their special talents lay in different professions, get these three together and they were borderline unstoppable. A white mask decorated with three broad maple leaves obscured Verdant’s pretty features, Scales sported a bronze half mask etched with a snake-like diamond pattern, whilst Diablo, your trained escort, had opted for something that accentuated her own gorgeous features, a mask of black leather arcing high onto her brow on the left side, whilst the right arced low by her jaw. Though you were already spoken for, you couldn’t deny the beauty of Diablo. She did wonders when prying information between the legs of a moaning MP.

To your left crouched the twins, Una and Leaf. Una was gifted her name by none other than you yourself, after seeing her accuracy with a rifle. A single shot was all it took, from any distance. She wore no mask, something you’d allowed simply because she’d complained about the sight obstruction when lining up a shot. You’d agreed, but only under the condition that she wore a low hood. Her fiercely protective brother Leaf had chewed you out for that, but you knew he meant well. Leaf was good at what he did, excellent, in fact. Which was part of the reason you kept him on as a Shadow. The larger part was that you were damn fond of him. Of all of them, in fact. You loved every single one of your Shadows. Every single damned member of The Nest, you adored. You were their leader, afterall.

A masked helmet of black leather, similar material to Diablo’s, perched snug upon your own features. The hooked beak and obsidian feathers of a raven decorated the necessity, covering your face and hair, though leaving your lower features visible. It was a rite of passage, for you especially, and it signalled the start of your leadership.

“Una, set up. Verdant, Prongs, roundabout. Wolf…” your eyes slid to the giant man on your right, a dark smile slicing across your mouth. “Heel.”

The boulder of a man visibly sagged, clearly disappointed at your orders whilst the others sprang into action. Prongs and Verdant leapt across the rooftops in separate directions whilst Una removed her rifle from her back, parting her heavy cloak to reveal rounds and rounds of bullets strapped across her body. Leaf nestled closer into her side, whilst the other four took a step back. It was obvious you’d all been at this for a very long time, despite the twins not looking a day older than sixteen. In fact, most of your squad was younger than you, save for Wolf and Prongs, who had served their respective roles twice previously.

Sitting back on your heels, you watched your team get to work, the warmth of pride blossoming in your chest. Whilst you knew Prongs and Wolf were already incredibly skilled, the rest had flourished under your leadership. It had been ten years since you’d witnessed MPs put a bullet through your mentor’s skull. Ten long years since you’d taken up leadership and expanded the reaches of The Nest. Honestly, you were pretty proud of yourself, and none more so than when you watched your Shadows do what they do best.

Taking care of unwanted visitors.

Una took aim, resting the butt of her rifle in the crook of her shoulder, staring down the makeshift scope. She would be ready to take care of the two soldiers if either Prongs or Verdant failed to eliminate their targets.

Speaking of which…

That kernel of pride ignited as your (E/C) eyes followed Verdant’s careful, calculating form dropping from the rooftops above the alleyway, in sync with Prong’s own movements. The two assassins swooped with the grace of a stooping hawk, the silver glint of metal caught your eye as they both brandished their blades, before sinking the steel into the necks of the two soldiers. You didn’t need to be closer to see they were both dead. Expert precision. Deadly accuracy. That was why these people were your hand-picked Shadows. And why you were the most formidable gang leader in the Underground City. Your little criminal organisation had expanded into something to rival the killcount of Kenny the Ripper. You couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought.

Una lowered her weapon, strapping it back in the buckles between her shoulder blades.

“Finished.” she simply stated, turning back to drop down between the shattered tiles and splintered ceiling beams that marked your entrance and exit to this lookout point.

“Rendezvous back at The Nest,” you ordered flatly, before dropping forward and into the alleyway below.

“Anything?” you ask, a brow raised behind your raven mask as you saunter over. Prongs held up two sets of blades from one of the crimson bodies now gathering dirt and grime. Useless to you as they were, but somebody would definitely find an interest in them. Verdant seemed to be struggling with the straps of whatever gear these mosquitoes used to fly around. You’d never been able to figure out how to use it, but that shit made good money when in doubt. However, your usual buyers had disappeared off the face of the city, and you’d noticed a decline in gear sales since then. Gritting your teeth, you shook your head to Verdant, laying a hand on her shoulder.

“Don’t. It’s not worth it. The thug trio haven’t been back in years. I doubt they’d return to us now,” you explain softly, prompting the girl to stop her struggles and huff defeatedly. You’re heart ached softly at the thought of him, but you pushed the feeling down.

“Here,” she muttered, handing you another rifle. It seemed to be a newer model, something of an upgrade for Una.

“You did good, Ver. I’m proud of you,” that seemed to immediately lighten the girl’s mood, her eyes shining behind her mask as her mouth widened into a toothy grin.

“Thanks Raven!” she beamed, before scampering off back to The Nest, almost forgetting to take the gun back from your outstretched hand in her haste to make it back and tell everyone she’d received a compliment from you. It wasn’t an everyday occurrence. Rather it only happened once in a blue moon…

A huffed chuckle had your head turning and eyes narrowing to your second in command.

“Can I help you?” you ask, your tone dripping with the poisonous threat of hell if he chose his next words poorly. But Prongs continued to smile ever so slightly, shaking his head.

“Not at all, Raven. It’s just, in the last few years, since you drafted her into the Shadows, she’s really come into her own,” Prongs explained simply, shrugging as she stooped to kick over the now drained corpse, hoping to find anything useful. You bristle ever so slightly. That was something you hated. Compliments. How the fuck were you supposed to respond? You tried to think back to when Viper tried to teach you simple social skills.

“Uh, yeah. She has,” you respond, keeping your features as neutral as you could as you turned away, beginning to trudge back to The Nest.

“I’m serious, Rave. You’ve done incredible things for us. You know Viper would be proud of you. I am too. But…” Prongs trailed off, clearing having something to say but not knowing how to say it.

“Go on. But what?” you pressed, wanting to hear what your second in command had to say.

“Well, don’t you think it’s a bit much? Rave, it’s been years. Eyes have started looking in our direction since those three vanished. You don’t think we should be lying low for a bit? Calming suspicions instead of rousing them?” Prongs offered gently. You knew, deep down, he was right. But some notable gang disappearing hasn’t stopped you before, and it sure as hell wouldn’t stop you now.

“I’ll talk to Scar about it,” even just the mention of your advisor, and wife’s name gave your stomach butterflies. Scarlett Obsidine, your other, and better, half. After the disappearance of a certain dark haired man, Scar was the woman who comforted you, and though you missed him dearly, your heart managed to haphazardly piece itself back together and love all over again.

“Rave, listen—“

“Let’s go,” Prongs closed his mouth, the tone of your voice stating clearly that this matter wasn’t up for discussion. Especially not with him.

⎈⎈⎈⎈⎈⎈⎈⎈

“You know he’s right,” you couldn’t help but sigh when your wife’s soft tones calmed your irritated mood. Soft hands gently kneaded at the tense muscles in your shoulders, forcing them to relax as a tired moan escaped your lips. Leaning back, you peer into her shining sapphire eyes, locks of brunette framing your face as she took the sides of your cheeks in her hands and leaned down, softly pecking your lips with her own. You couldn’t help humming a smile against her mouth, reaching up to deepen the kiss, but she pulled away before you could.

“Scaaaaar…” you pout, looking up at her mischievous smirk as she winked playfully.

“(Y/N)...” Scarlett sighed, swinging her legs over your body to sink into your lap, one thumb now caressing one of the most prominent features on your face. A nasty, jagged scar ran down from the the top of your forehead, over your right eye and finishing just past your jaw bone. One (E/C) iris lighter than the other as a result of the old wound. Soft lips chase away the shadows of your past as Scarlett replaced her thumb with her mouth.

“(Y/N), I don’t want to find you dead in some alleyway because you picked a fight you couldn’t win,” a finger poked your chest as she huffed above you, feigning irritation. You roll your eyes, (E/C) landing on your gear now strung across the table. That raven helmet almost calling to you as you shook your head. Disagreeing with your wife was never a good idea, but you were feeling particularly bold this evening.

“Look. So many jobs have opened up recently. We have so many opportunities to make this life more comfortable. More jobs means more money, more money means we can afford the gate toll and actually see the world above ground. And I can finally buy you an actual ring.”. Technically, you two weren’t married. Who the fuck would be stupid enough to perform marriage ceremonies in the underground City? But, it was easier than saying you were devoted to each other in every single way.

Lightly smacking your chest, Scarlett raised herself from your lap with a hefty sigh. “One of these days (Y/N), you’re going to be captured or killed,” she said quietly, unable to meet your eyes. “And then what the hell will I do…?” Scarlett had now completely turned away from you, shoulders hunched. Running a hand down your face, you pick your sore body up from the chair, reaching her in a matter of strides.

“I can’t give this up, Scar. You know that. You knew that when you chose to be with me. You knew The Nest was always going to be my priority,” you held out your arm, hand hovering over her back, not sure whether to comfort her or let her go. The admission almost had her in tears, you could tell by the way her shoulders shook ever so gently.

“You still miss him don’t you?” It was her vulnerable, defeated tone that alerted you to the slight change of topic.

You fell silent, not really knowing how to respond. Yes, of course you missed him. You loved him more than anything. But those days are over, you knew that. You’d cried enough those following nights after his disappearance.

He was probably dead anyway.

“Of course I do,” you wouldn’t lie to her. That wasn’t fair. But you knew the truth was just as painful for her.

“Will I ever be enough? Will I ever be enough to replace him?” the sound of her voice had your heart in pieces. You loved Scarlett. You really did. But your heart wouldn’t let you love her wholly. Part of yourself will always be dedicated to that grumpy kid you’d fallen for all those years ago.

“Scar… I—”

“I know,” she whispered, stepping forward away from your outstretched grasp. “I know,” you watched as the woman you loved, and who loved you, stepped from your shared quarters, hovering in the doorway. “I’m sorry I asked,” she closed the door as she left, leaving you a frustrated, conflicted mess.

⎈⎈⎈⎈⎈⎈⎈⎈

“Understood, I’ll bring them in right away. Thank you Niles,” The Commander of the MPs stood opposite Erwin, arms folded. An expression of irritation plastered on his sunken features. Erwin simply sighed, realising Niles was wanting to stay for this seemingly impromptu meeting. With a nod of his head, a cadet rushed off to find the two soldiers mentioned in their little conversation. Being Commander of the Scouts often had its perks, like having cadets around to run errands for him.

Niles cleared his throat, taking a seat on the green leather sofa within Erwin’s office. “You sure he’d help us? I mean, it wasn’t too long ago he actually decided killing you was probably a bad idea.”—he raised a thin brow, peering at Erwin with barely concealed suspicion—“I’m pretty sure the Underground City would be the last place he’d want to return.” a knock at the door cut their conversation short, both turning their heads as Erwin called;

“Enter.”

Hange was the first to make her presence known, poking her head in as she opened the door. A smile adorned the slightly dishevelled section commander, her hair sticking up in all directions. Clearly she had been in the middle of something when Erwin requested her presence.

“You asked to see us, Erwin?” her eyes sparkling with curiosity behind her glasses as she stepped through the door.

“Tch, just make it quick, I have shit to do,” the monotone voice of Levi behind her made Erwin pinch the bridge of his nose. How many times has he told him not to talk to him like that?

“Yes, come in and make yourselves comfortable.” Hange immediately took up a seat next to Niles on the sofa, Levi preferring to stand against the now closed door, arms folded. Erwin’s sharp eyes shifted to Niles, an indication for the MP Commander to speak.

“Well, no point in beating around the bush. We’ve received an anonymous tip about some criminal gang that’s been plaguing my soldiers in the Underground City.” Levi visibly stiffened at the mention of his old home. His jaw tensed in anticipation. There would be only one reason he would be called into such a discussion, and the answer was a firm no.

Without his permission, his mind flashed back to a (H/C) girl, her face etched with that ever mischievous smirk. He quelled the thoughts as quickly as he could. He needed his wits with him, and allowing his mind to wander back to what he’d left behind wouldn’t help anything. Besides, the likelihood of you being alive was close to none.

“Section Commander, I don’t suppose you would have heard of the group but Captain Levi here surely would have done. The Nest.” Niles continued, now eyeing Levi to gage his reaction. And for a man whose emotions were usually on a tight leash, this seemed to be what cracked his impenetrable walls. His eyes flew wide open, frantically searching between Niles and Erwin. They couldn’t be serious. The Nest? That was where Farlan and Isobel used to—

Shit, he really needed to keep his thoughts at bay. But what he did know was that The Nest was an impenetrable fortress of criminal activity. Trying to mess with them was suicide.

“Judging by your reaction, I’m going to assume you are familiar with them, Levi,” Erwin’s surprisingly calm tone eased the growing tension in the room. Taking a subtle breath to calm himself, Levi’s eyes narrowed to his commander.

“Yeah. I know of it. Why?” it was a rhetorical question, he already knew why, but he wanted to hear it from Erwin himself. Hange looked incredibly confused, looking between the men in the office, trying to glean something, anything, about what the hell was going on.

“The Nest? Why are they so bad?” she asked, not afraid to show how completely oblivious she is to anything that doesn’t concern titans or science. Erwin gestured to Levi.

“Levi? Care to explain? You probably know more than myself and Niles combined,” though his voice seemed kind, there was a slight edge to his deep tones. One that didn’t go unnoticed by Levi.

A heavy silence filled the room as the Captain wracked his brain for all the information he could think of regarding the organisation. It seemed like hours before he finally spoke.

“Well, you got one thing right. The Nest is a criminal organisation. A nasty one at that. Merciless bastards. Whether you’re a soldier or a citizen, they don’t give a shit. They’ll leave you a broken, bloodied mess in the street. I don’t know much about their leader. Only that he took over from the previous one around ten-ish years ago. Since then, they’ve expanded their shitty little gang and taken over an entire section of the city,” he explained, poison lacing his tone. It wasn’t that he was above the whole gang thing, oh no. It was more the state Farlan would be in before he left to meet whoever the fuck led that group of demons. He’d never seen his friend so anxious. So afraid.

“You never met him? Their leader?” Erwin inquired, lacing his hands together on the desk in front of him. Levi scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“If I had, I would tell you. But I know he’s smart. And not the good kind of smart. The kind of smart where he would always be ten steps ahead of you. He has a small group of trusted criminals surrounding him at all times, called his Shadows. They’ll be the ones to look out for,” Despite his voice sounding bored, Levi’s heart was racing. They couldn’t seriously be thinking of facing The Nest, could they? But something in the expressions of both Niles and Erwin told him he was wrong. Dead wrong.

“They’ve been picking off my soldiers. Always in the same places as well. I was going to leave it, just tell them to avoid certain areas until this tip. Their next job. We know what it is,” Niles interjected, looking down to the floor, his own mind a whirlwind.

“And you want to intercept them. The same way you did with me, right?” Levi finished through gritted teeth. This was absurd. There was no way they could pick them all off. Unless… that wasn’t the goal. Levi’s grey eyes widened slightly, realising what they wanted to do. Yep, this was total suicide. Hange clapped her hands together almost excitedly, as if she was also able to read Erwin’s mind.

“You want to capture him! The leader! Ah! This all makes so much sense now, I was starting to wonder why I was here,” the scientist mused almost to herself, before jumping to her feet. “This is the perfect opportunity to test some of the concept traps I have in mind. Obviously for titans they’d need to be much, MUCH bigger. And of course a few modifications would have to be made so they could adapt to size and body type but oooooooh this is so exciting! I’ll start right away!'' Without allowing anybody to get a word in edgeways, Hange dashed back to her lab to begin her preparations.

“Thank you Erwin, the Military Police will remember this,” Niles said, before he too was rising from his seat. Throwing Levi an unsure glance, he made his way towards the door, only to be shoved into the hallway by Levi, who promptly closed the door behind him.

“Don’t.” he simply said, turning back to Erwin who was peering at him, his expression puzzled. Levi rolled his eyes again, clearly having to clarify what he meant. “Don’t pursue them. It’s suicide,” The Commander’s expression relaxed slightly in understanding.

“We don’t have a choice, Levi. Not only are hundreds of MPs being slaughtered down there, but relationships between the Scouts and the MPs are strenuous at best. It would be in our best interests to—“

“Bullshit.”

Erwin sighed again, having to hold his tongue. Snapping at Levi now for his language would only rile up the man more.

“Levi, we already have a plan in motion. There are soldiers down there now meeting whoever gave us that anonymous tip to further discuss the job The Nest has taken. It’ll be fine, but you’re going to have to trust me.” Erwin’s eyes bore into Levi’s own, the man once again asking his Captain to trust him in a risky call he’s made. Levi’s done it so many times before, why was it so difficult now?

It took yet another pregnant silence before Levi eventually yielded.

“Fine, but don’t be surprised when we’re once again forced to retreat with our tails between our legs.” it was a savage comment, but one that Erwin didn’t take to heart as he watched the raven haired man leave. Yes, this was a risk, but all his risks so far had worked out fairly well. There was no reason why this one would fail. No reason at all.

Levi leant against the door to Erwin’s office, looking down the hallway before letting loose a long breath. Not only would he have to go toe to toe with The Raven, but he also had to face so much of his past he’d wanted to forget. Fuck, this was a terrible idea. Why did Erwin always have to gamble? It was exhausting for everyone else involved.

Folding his arms, the shorter man strode back to his own office, lost in thought the entire way. Would he see you again? Were you even alive? Did you know just how much he had missed you. Just how much he’d wanted to see you again. To hold you again.

Did you know he’d looked for you? How his heart shattered over and over again each time he found no trace of you. He’d never accepted you were gone. Always holding onto that thorn of hope that maybe, just maybe, you’d survived.

Collapsing in his chair behind his desk, Levi unlocked the bottom draw and gently pulled it out. He delicately picked out a small, ebony bird feather you’d crafted into a quill pen. Even though neither of you knew how to write, you knew back then how much he had wanted to learn despite never voicing it directly. All those nights spent copying out basic letters from discarded newspapers and wanted posters. You always had this way of reading his mind.

The smallest fond smile crept across his usually bored face. God he missed you. It had been years and he still missed you like he only lost you yesterday.

[eversall]

Idk if you've ever watched Friends, but Jimon + the gang finding out about their relationship in the style of Monica and Chandler

i have watched friends and asdfghjkl i love monica and chandler and this is one of the best episodes ever so this prompt is extra amazing. obviously, all credit goes to friends for the plot. also, i want to point out that this fic by jess ( @softjimon) has more friends!jimon and reading her thing is 100% the inspiration i had to finish this one so quickly. 

fool around like we’re sixteen and secret || jace/simon, 3k+, secret relationship + fluff || (ao3 link coming soon!)

In March, Simon goes away for a weekend to Vermont. Songwriting boot camp, he claims, he and his writers are sequestering themselves away for a few days to work on his upcoming album. Jace happens to be out of town that weekend too, because - as he tells Alec and Izzy - he was called to consult on a case involving an adoption scam.

“Since I have experience,” he explains, “they want me to be there for their initial analysis.”

Alec believes him. Why would Alec not believe his brother, his FBI case partner, his roommate, his best friend? 

He doesn’t even think about it until the next Monday, when Jace gets back on a red-eye flight, grinning about apparently seeing Raj and Duncan together in an elevator in the hotel he was staying at, and they’re running around trying to get ready for work.

“I’m out of shaving cream,” Alec calls from the restroom desperately, “I can’t show up to work looking like I haven’t slept in seventy-two hours!”

“In my carry-on, use my bottle, I haven’t unpacked yet!” Jace yells from his bedroom. So Alec rushes out to the living room, digging through the duffel bag on the sofa, and comes up with not one but two bottles of shaving cream. One’s sleek and black, and the other is…Batman themed.

“What is this?” Alec asks as he smirks, waving the bottle at Jace, who’s walking out of the bedroom. “Discovering your inner child, are you? Your puberty-driven, cartoon-character supported shaving?”

Jace freezes, and his eyes go comically large. “Uh…I found it?” He offers. Alec raises an eyebrow, and decides that he’s not judging. He just doesn’t have the energy right now.

“If you want to re-live those hormone fueled years, be my guest.” He laughs as he tosses the Batman bottle at Jace, and then goes into the restroom to shave.

It’s not a big deal. It shouldn’t be a big deal.

But then, later that night, he and Jace go across the hall to Clary and Simon’s place so they can is wait for the other two to get ready for dinner - which, God, both of them are so high-maintenance - the only person allowed to be that high maintenance is Magnus, and Alec isn’t biased, shut up Jace -

But as he and Jace lounge on their (much nicer, antique) sofa, and Clary is trying to get her earrings untangled from her hair, Simon makes several trips back and forth from his bedroom to the bathroom, frowning and muttering to himself.

“Si,” Clary finally asks, amused, “are you…alright?”

“I lost my Batman themed bottle of shaving cream.” Simon says, frazzled. “I guess I left it somewhere in Vermont while I was away -”

“Oh?” Alec asks, frowning. That’s weird, certainly, that this is the second time that he’s encountering this Batman-themed bottle, but that’s fine. Coincidences happen. “How was Vermont?” He asks politely.

“It was great,” Simon’s suddenly smiles, his eyes going dreamy, before his expression smooths out into a smirk. “I saw Raj and Duncan making out in an elevator -”

Alec’s eyes widen and he bolts upright, just as the door opens and Magnus and Izzy waltz in.

“You what - “ He hollers as Izzy yells “Clary!” and Magnus says, loudly, “I think the barista down there hates me”, and at the same time Jace jumps off the couch, his face pale as a sheet, and tackles Alec to the ground. In the ensuing chaos and noise, Jace bodily drags Alec into Simon’s bedroom, and Alec splutters as Simon follows behind and shuts the door.

“You!” He says dumbly, pointing at Simon. “And - you?” His finger swings wildly to point at Jace, who rolls his eyes.

“Yeah.” He says. “Don’t make a big deal out of it.”

“So, to clarify.” Alec asks. “This isn’t some huge coincidence, you both went to Vermont for the weekend to…?”

“Romantic getaway.” Jace says, at the same time that Simon says “To have uninterrupted sex.”

“Uninterrupted - “ Alec starts spluttering again.

“Babe, don’t break him.” Jace says, amused. Simon grins as he grabs his hair gel off his dresser and starts styling his hair.

“Why did you both lie?” Alec crosses his arms and regards the two of them. “There were so many ways I could have found out, and discovering that the two of you fucked for three straight days isn’t the way I prefer.”

“We just wanted to keep this to ourselves for a little while longer.” Simon says, his fingers working through his curls as he glances at Jace through the mirror and smiles softly. “It’s nice to just be in our own world.”

Jace smiles back, and it’s embarrassingly besotted. Alec wants to bang his head against a wall somewhere, but also -

“I’m happy for you guys.” Alec says gruffly, and Jace and Simon both beam at him. “Stop smiling like an idiot, Jace. Batman themed shaving cream, honestly.”

“Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.” Simon says, snapping his fingers. Jace snorts, and kisses him. And the way Jace leans into it, the way Simon’s shoulders relax, the way they both look at each other - Alec supposes it isn’t the worst secret in the world to keep.

.

Clary finding out is entirely by chance. She’s just passing through the living room when she hears the buzz of a vibrating phone from the sofa cushions, and she pauses and sets her bowl of popcorn down, tossing pillows aside to find Simon’s phone getting a flurry of incoming texts.

[jace]: u free babe?

[jace]: alec’s left to bother magnus or something, idk

[jace]: come over, we can do that thing you’ve been asking for since i can be as loud as i want now ;)

[jace]: tell clary ur gonna do laundry when really ur gonna do me

Clary shrieks and tosses the phone back onto the sofa, scrambling backwards and grabbing her popcorn. Mouth agape, she cradles her food to her chest and spends a horrified few seconds thinking oh God, is this karma for when Simon walked in on me making out with that girl in eleventh grade? Is this my punishment?

Then another thought hits her, and she straightens up and smiles, munching on a few kernels of popcorn thoughtfully. Laundry, hmm, is that the excuse Simon’s going to use?

She can’t say she’s not happy for them. It’s clearly been a long time coming, and they both would do anything for each other. It’s sweet. She’s a little hurt that Simon didn’t tell her, but she gets it. It’s their thing, and if they want to keep it a secret, it’s fine.

That doesn’t mean she’s not going to have a little fun with it, though.

Half an hour later, Simon finally appears in the apartment, after a long day at the recording studio. He groans, and heads straight for the couch as Clary watches, with no small amount of glee, from her position at the kitchen table.

“I can’t believe I left my phone.” He says morosely. “Clary, why am I like this?”

“Beats me.” She says cheerfully. “I like that you’re like this. It makes me seem like such a high-functioning adult.” She throws a few pieces of popcorn at him, and he distractedly grabs at one of them and pops it into his mouth as he scrolls through his phone. He flushes a deep red, slowly grinning, and he locks his phone and tucks it into his pocket.

“Got a lot to do this evening.” He starts saying loudly, heading into his room as he continues to talk. “Gotta clean my room, write some emails, do some laundry - “ He appears in the living room again, toting his laundry basket, which Clary suspects is full of clean clothes. “I’m just, ah, going to go do that laundry. Maybe I’ll answer the emails from my phone while I wait - “

“Oh, you’re doing laundry?” Clary asks, making a big show of looking surprised. “You wouldn’t mind doing a few pairs of jeans for me, right? I really need them before I head to the studio tomorrow.”

“Your…jeans.” Simon stops and looks baffled, and then, bizarrely, he looks around the room, like that’ll help him figure out what to do, and he sighs and smiles at her. Clary almost feels a little guilty when he says, sweetly, “Of course I can. Give me whatever you need!”

.

Izzy finds out in what she later claims is a worse way than Clary. She’s looking at an apartment in the building over, and all things considered, it’s going pretty well, until she goes to the window.

“Oh my God,” She says, laughing, “look, Clary, it’s Jace and Simon. We can see your apartment from here.” She turns, but Clary’s gone - presumably to the bathroom, she can hear the sink running. She turns back, and -

Simon has Jace pinned against the wall next to the window, holding his wrists loosely over his head with one hand and grabbing his ass with the other. They’re kissing like their life depends on it, with Jace shamelessly rolling his hips and chasing after Simon’s lips every time Simon pulls back.

Izzy is scarred for life.  

“What are they - oh my God! No! Why are they - don’t do - oh my God!” She yells, skidding backwards with her hands clapped over her mouth. Clary comes tearing out of the restroom, hollering “What, what?!”, and then she skids to a stop when she sees what Izzy’s looking at. To Izzy’s surprise, she just makes a face and mutters a curse under her breath before throwing the curtains closed.

“God, yeah.” She mutters, turning to roll her eyes. “They’re a thing.”

“This is - wow.” Izzy’s almost stunned by the revelation, but not quite. Jace and Simon have always had a certain tension, and it’s undeniable that the two are romantics at heart; they’re good for each other. What’s stunning is that they’ve managed to keep it a secret. “Wait, how did you find out?”

“I saw some of Jace’s texts to Simon.” She shudders. “Every time Simon says he’s doing laundry? He’s going over to Jace’s and they’re…” She trails off, waggling her eyebrows suggestively, and Izzy laughs.

“Sex.” She says, enunciating the word, and Clary shudders theatrically. “Really, laundry is their code word? That’s so…sickeningly domestic.”

“Oh, not anymore.” Clary grins, perching on the arm of the sofa. “Now I ask him to actually do my laundry.”

“Oh you are horrible.” Izzy rolls her eyes, but she’s still smiling. “They don’t know you know?”

“No. I’ve been having fun with it.”

Izzy thinks about that, and then a slow smirk spreads across her face.

“Not enough fun, I think.”

.

Alec walks into the room, sees Clary and Izzy whispering, and immediately backs out.

“Nope, I’m going back to my apartment.” He decides, but they look up and immediately fix him in place with their stares.

“Alec,” Izzy says very seriously, “we need your help.”

“For what?” Alec asks warily. Izzy gets up and approaches him, crossing her arms.

“We know something,” She says slowly, “and if we tell you it needs to be a secret - “

“Oh, no.” Alec says immediately. “Absolutely not, I’m not doing this secrets thing again, have fun - “

“No, come on - “ Izzy drags him to sit at the kitchen table. “It’s for a good cause.”

“What’s the good cause?”

Clary comes over and braces her hands on the table. “Jace and Simon.” She says, and Alec squints at her suspiciously.

“What about them?” He asks slowly. Clary and Izzy share a look, in that weirdly synchronous silent language they have - when are they going to start dating? - and nod.

“There’s something you should, um, find out for yourself.” Clary says. “Why don’t you go to your apartment and knock on Jace’s door?”

Alec immediately freezes up. One of the most unhelpful things about knowing his brother secret is that he and Simon are now taking it as permission to go at it in their room while Alec is still in the apartment. They’re quiet, sure, but the walls are paper thin, and Alec just really wants less of a sex-dazed Simon walking around. He’s terrible at chess when he’s like that, and Simon’s pretty much the only person that’ll play chess with him.

“Simon’s doing laundry with Jace.” Alec says slowly. “That’s what they said.”

“Go check.” Izzy insists. “Humour me.”

Alec blanches at the thought of what he could walk into, and immediately responds with a horrified “No.” Izzy’s eyes widen at his reaction.

“Do you know what I think you know?” She hisses. Alec groans and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“I don’t know what you think I know.” He says.

“I know you know something, but I’m wondering if what I know and what you know are - “

“Jace and Simon are sleeping together!” Clary blurts out, and then she slaps a hand over her mouth and looks shocked at her own admission.

“They’re not sleeping together, they’re dating - oh hell.” Alec says, when he realizes what he’s walked into. Izzy slams her hand down on the table triumphantly.

“I knew you knew!” She crows delightedly. “Now, you can help us freak them out!”

“Or we could all stop.” Alec bemoans. “Stop with the secrets.” Nobody listens to him. Nobody ever does, because all the people he hangs out with are idiots. (Except Magnus. Though, truth be told, this is probably why Magnus lives a safe distance away from all of them.)

.

Jace is baffled, to say the least, when Simon bursts into his apartment and screeches, with wide eyes, “You sister just grabbed my ass! She flirted with me!”

“She what?” Jace asks from where he’s perches on a bar stool. “Are you sure?”

“Am I sure her hand touched my ass in a sexual manner - yeah I’m sure!” He says. “What’s happening?”

Jace never gets to respond, because Simon’s phone rings. “Oh my God, it’s her.” Simon wails, before he answers and puts it on speakerphone. “Hey, Iz!” He says as cheerfully as he can, while his face goes through a series of alarmed expressions. Jace frowns and hops off the stool to sling an arm around his boyfriend, squeezing his shoulder reassuringly.

“Hey, handsome.” Izzy’s voice sounds from over the speaker, and Jace blanches because her voice is low and definitely dipping into seductive territory. “I was just thinking about you.”

“And I, uh, was just thinking that I have to go! I have something I need to pick up, bye!” Simon says, ending the call and throwing his phone down on the counter. “Am I going crazy? Am I suddenly attractive?”

“You’ve always been attractive.” Jace mutters, pressing his lips to Simon’s temple. “Relax, breathe.”

“Izzy is trying to date me, there’s nothing relaxing about this.” Simon moans, but he eases into Jace’s hold, leaning back and letting Jace rake his fingers through Simon’s hair.

Alec snorts from where he’s sitting in his armchair, and both Simon and Jace startle, looking at him. Jace had kind of forgotten he was there, but Alec is being suspiciously silent, and his gaze keeps flicking to Simon’s phone. An absurd little thought begins to form in Jace’s mind.

“Alec,” He asks slowly, “does Izzy know about us?” Then he remembers all the fucking laundry he and Simon have been doing the past week. “Does Clary?”

“No.” Alec says immediately, looking down at his book. “Of course not. How would I know if they knew? I don’t know.”

“Alec.” Jace warns, narrowing his gaze. Alec flushes, but he dutifully keeps his eyes glued to his book. “Look at me, Alec.”

There’s silence for a few seconds as Jace crosses the room, striding closer to Alec, when Alec finally cracks and throws his hands up. “Yes, they know, can we be done with this whole secret thing now?”

“I knew it!” Jace crows. Simon leans against the kitchen counter and shakes his head.

“I never thought I’d say this, but I’m glad an attractive woman turned out not to really be flirting with me.” He remarks, and Jace points at him.

“Watch it, you’re still dating me.” He says. “More importantly, how are we going to retaliate?”

“Retaliate?” Simon asks, laughing. Jace crosses his arms impatiently, dead serious.

“Yeah. Oh, it’s on. Two can play at this game, and we’re going to fucking win.” He hisses. Alec springs out of his chair, looking at Jace in horror.

“Not more of this.” He says, aghast. “When will this nightmare end? And I expect you want me to keep this a secret too?”

Jace looks at him, and Alec flips him off as he stomps to his bedroom.

.

Which is what leads to the current ridiculous tableau that Jace finds himself in, peeking through a tiny crack in the bathroom - where he’s hiding out - and watching Izzy and Simon play a game of chicken as they try to seduce each other in the living room. He’s pretty sure Clary and Alec are on the other side of the front door and watching just like he is as Izzy and Simon play out the weirdest scene Jace has ever seen.

“You have such…impressive biceps.” Izzy purrs, dragging her finger down Simon’s chest - which is nowhere near his biceps! Jace grits his teeth and reminds himself that Simon is dating him, and that they’re just doing this so they can win.

“You’re quite impressive yourself.” Simon says, his voice low, and he moves in closer to place his hand on Izzy’s neck, hesitantly. Izzy visibly startles when he does, and looks momentarily flabbergasted before she soldiers on.

“You should kiss me.” She says, thrusting her chest forward. Simon gulps.

“Okay, yeah.” He says. “I wanna do that too.”

“So do it.”

“I will.” Simon woodenly places his other arm around Izzy’s waist, and Jace momentarily resists the urge to throw something at the two of them and separate them. Izzy and Clary can’t get the better of him and Simon.

“Okay.” Izzy licks her lips, her movements jerky as she leans forward. Simon does so too, inching forward, and the seconds tick by agonizingly as their lips get closer and closer, the space between them shrinking, and then they’re touching and kissing -

“AGH, NO, YOU WIN, I CAN’T KISS YOU!” Simon yells, jumping backwards and tripping wildly over his own feet. Izzy shrieks and points accusingly at him.

“I knew it! And why can’t you kiss me?” She gloats gleefully. Simon’s still breathing hard when he yells “Because I’m in love with Jace!”

Jace’s heart stops and he finds himself moving without thinking, shoving the door open and stumbling out to a stop in front of his boyfriend, whispering a shocked, soft, “What?” At the same time, Clary and Alec spill through the front door, gasping in unison and yelling “Oh my God”, as Izzy throws a hand out and accidentally knocks over a chair. In the ensuing chaos, Magnus appears as well, almost out of thin air, surveying the scene in front of him - Jace and Simon breathing raggedly, staring at each other intensely, Izzy trying to haphazardly pick up chairs as she watches everyone else at the same time, and Clary digging her nails into Alec’s arm as she bounces on the balls of her feet, with Alec alternating between scowling and trying to pry her fingers off, staring proudly at Jace, and smiling at Magnus.

Magnus arches an eyebrow. “Clearly, I’m missing something.” He murmurs, moving to Alec’s side.

Jace ignores all of them. He stares at Simon, who’s finally looking up at him through his absurdly pretty eyelashes, his eyes warm and a little fearful.

“Say it again.” he demands hoarsely. Simon stares at him, and takes a slow step forward, the corners of his lips turning up helplessly in a smile.

“I love you, Jace.” He says, and it seems to Jace like the world comes to an abrupt standstill the second Simon says the words, his vision narrowing down to the man of his dreams in front of him. This is happening, he thinks dizzily, this is real. He gets to have this, have someone who cherishes him and holds him close and makes him laugh, who genuinely loves him.

Jace breaks out into a smile, his veins thrumming with adrenaline as he says “I love you too”, and then they’re surging forward to kiss each other desperately, Simon crushing Jace to his chest as Jace loops his arms around Simon’s neck. It’s way, way too indecent for the audience they have, but this is the first time they’ve said those words to each other and Jace needs to feel Simon, as close as possible, needs to nip at his bottom lip and swallow down the rough groan that works its way out of Simon’s throat.

It feels like hours later when they pull apart to Clary’s loud coughing, and then Simon ducks his head, blushing bright red, and Jace rests their forehead together.

“This is so much more amazing than I thought it was going to be.” Clary says, and Jace finally turns to see her beaming at them. “I’m so happy for you guys!”

“Thank you.” Jace says, smirking. “I’m happy for me too.”

“Alec, dude, thanks.” Simon says fervently. “For keeping everyone’s secrets.”

“Don’t ever make me do this again.” Alec says flatly, and then his face softens. “Also, don’t break each other’s hearts. I’ll be out a brother and a friend, then.”

“Well, it’s good to see that you two are finally telling everyone.” Magnus says, smiling fondly at them. “You don’t have to sneak around anymore.”

“I’m gonna kind of miss going to do ‘laundry’, to be honest.” Simon says, pinching Jace’s side, and Jace laughs, shying away from the touch as the rest of them grin. There’s a beat of silence, and then Clary frowns.

“How did you find out, Magnus?” She asks. Magnus looks at them, puzzled.

“I figured it out the night after they first slept together, after London.” He says, while they all gape at him, Jace and Simon included. “Wasn’t it quite obvious?” When everyone continues to look at him with various degrees of astonishment, he frowns. “How did all of you find out, then?”

They groan, loudly.

“Don’t ask.” Alec advises. “It’s a long story.”