#the shit internet connection BECAUSE of that placement. it is not a console. it is a fucking handheld that can stream to tv.

[emdotcom]

I hated the Switch so fucking much, I gave mine away so I didn't have to have it around, anymore.

That said, very excited for the people who intend to play that new pokemon, when it comes out.

[atamascolily]

lily liveblogs  watching “The Terminator” for the first time

I cannot believe no one ever told me the first ten minutes of The Terminator are filled with naked men roaming 1980s Los Angeles. In addition to full-front Arnold Schwarzenegger nudity, there's a chase scene in which Kyle Reese's actor (no slouch himself in the muscles department) runs through a clothing store, dressing himself as he goes. The narrative economy of this movie, I tell you.

Whoever decided that time travel does not involve clothing was clearly having a lot of fun. 

Also, I have no idea why the punks decided to make fun of a naked Arnold Schwarzenegger except they were probably drunk/stoned/high and fond of making poor life choices. Either that or they really were Too Stupid To Live.

Is the close up on Kyle Reese's stolen Nikes supposed to be product placement? I think it's product placement. This is the '80s after all.

OMG, a phone booth. This film was not supposed to be a period piece (or was it??), but it's unintentionally hilarious as such. Kyle Reese doesn't seem to know how to reach Sarah Connor otherwise... so the phone book gets to stand in for the Internet.

(god, if you're from his version of 2029, the fact that machines DON'T control everything seems both a) quaint and b) infinitely desirable by comparison.)

What's interesting is both the film's present and the film's future are dystopic hellholes. Yes, it's the middle of the night in Los Angeles, but the way it's filmed, with all the urban debris and trash and homeless wandering the streets very much parallels the future. The garbage truck in the present and the human-killing laser machine in the future are foils to each other.

EVERYONE'S HAIR, OH MY GOD.

It's kinda sad that food service is still visual shorthand for "sucky job" even in the present day, but you can tell Sarah Connor has spunk because she rides a moped and sasses her chain's mascot. Their outfits are terrible. And that kid putting ice cream on her--to the amusement of the assholes she's serving--what a nightmare.

Also, Sarah's friend is awesome and won my heart with one line: "In a hundred years, who's gonna care?" This takes on vast levels of irony given that Sarah Connor is the Chosen One--er, sorry, Chosen One's Mom. I really hope this friend doesn't die.

Child's toy truck getting run over by the Terminator's stolen car. NOT SUBTLE, Y'ALL.

Sarah's friend's first reaction to the news of another Sarah Connor being murdered is to track Sarah into the break room to watch. Efficient way of letting Sarah know something's up and another good character moment.

The contrast between the Terminator effortlessly starting the car and Kyle Reese's labored hotwiring is nicely done. The PTSD flashback as he watches the bulldozer thing is also very efficient way of conveying information without the need for infodumping dialogue. Of course he has a female friend who dies for added trauma. Sigh.

Oh, so she and the friend--whose name is Ginger--are roommates? Well, that explains a lot. Oh, nope, I’m wrong, different person.

SARAH CONNOR HAS A PET IGUANA, I'M CHARMED. She looks so sad holding her pet iguana while her date's voice mail message plays - no going out after she got all dressed up. But at least she has the Iguana of Consolation!

(his name is Pugsley omg omg omg asghkkfl)

Why the hell does Ginger's bf kiss Sarah on the cheek as she leaves? Are they that close to each other or is this a weird quasi-sexual harassment thing (like how he was only kinda embarrassed when she picked up the phone by mistake while he was doing his phone sex thing thinking she was Ginger?)

CREEPY PARKING GARAGE IS CREEPY.

The police are all, "shit, this is awful," and trying to do something, but it isn't going to go well. Also, you can tell it's the '80s because the police lieutenant just casually lights up indoors like it's no big deal.

Like, literally the plot of this movie depends upon a) Sarah Connor's name and address in the phonebook, and b) no cell phones. The fact that these two are intimately connected IRL amuses me greatly.

God, as soon as Ginger and her bf revealed they were staying home, I knew they were toast. The fact that they're shown having sex just makes it all the more inevitable.

I like that the police decide to get a jump on the press AND maybe alert the other Sarah Connors they haven't been able to reach by announcing it over the TV. Sarah's at a restaurant eating pizza so she actually sees it!

The only reason Sarah Connor survives is because the Terminator went very literally through the list and Kyle Reese went straight to the right person. The difference between human intelligence and AI?

I cannot BELIEVE the club doesn't check ID, but maybe it's an illegal club anyway? Nice relevant background techno.

Of course the police's gambit backfires because Sarah can't reach them when she tries to call...

OH MY GOD PUGSLEY THE IGUANA IS SO PRECIOUS (but seriously does not stay in his cage, lol). Please don't let the iguana die...

The dangers of earphones and not being able to hear your surroundings being illustrated literally as soon as the devices were invented.

OF COURSE SARAH IS GOING TO LEAVE HER VOICE MAIL MESSAGE WARNING GINGER OF DANGER AT THE WORST POSSIBLE MOMENT. And she's going to tell him her location, too. This is... god, I don't have words for this.

Sarah left her driver's license in her apartment, what? Or is that an old ID? I can't tell. Welp, now he knows what she looks like, which he clearly didn't before.

This scene where the Terminator shoots up the club with an automatic REALLY hasn't aged well. I feel sick to my stomach just watching it. Of course Sarah is the second-to-last one out and has a human shield, because of course she dies. Sigh.

"Come with me if you want to live." I think that's the first words Kyle Reese has spoken in this movie! Not that the Terminator has said much, either...

Of course the police show up at exactly the wrong moment and draw exactly the wrong conclusions. Of course they end up dead, too. Sigh.

I would say Kyle's driving is atrocious, but there's no actual roads in 2029 LA, so this is much better conditions than he's used to.

Gosh, what would this movie do without alleyways?

Sarah's like "Can you stop it?" and Kyle looks away sheepishly, all WELL I WOULD IF I HAD MY LASER WEAPONS FROM THE FUTURE INSTEAD OF YOUR PUNY '80S GUNS.

Oh, he says he's going to ditch the car, but instead Kyle finally explains things to Sarah, and we're in yet another parking garage. Parking garages and alleys, that's this movie. Oh, and hotwiring cars.

Kyle's monologue about the defense network computers setting off nuclear war is a very '80s manifestation of a very '80s fear. Several '80s fears, now that I think about it. (Wasn't this also the plot of War Games?) Not that it's not topical today, but I think it's expressed in different formats now.

I hate that Sarah is only special because she's the Source of the Savior instead of the actual savior herself. I hate this so much.

Kyle and the Terminator playing "who can shoot better while also driving" in a parking garage that seems to go on literally FOREVER, how is this possible. This is WHY shotgun is a thing.

Oh, good, he's finally letting Sarah drive while he shoots.

Ohhhh, now she's in police custody, and the Lieutenant is comforting her. I hope he doesn't die, but I know better than to hope that anyone other than the Final Girl survives this movie.

The "flex your artificial hand with a hole in it" scene is a bloody counterpart to Luke testing out his new prosthesis in ESB.

It says something about humans that the only way the machines could hunt them was to make them human-coated (human on the outside).

You can tell by the look on Kyle Reese's face when he says "Nobody goes home," that he knows he's on a suicide mission.

Why the hell doesn't John Connor go himself? Why was Kyle chosen? Because he had to lead humanity in the aftermath of Skynet's defeat or because it would make the upcoming plot twist that much more awkward? Probably both, but I wonder if they ever discussed this. "Uh... hi, dad? Dad-to-be?" (Reminder that Douglas Adams is right when he says the worst part of time travel is the grammar.)

Oh, god, the "eye repair" scene is nightmarish. Excellent job foreshadowing it, filmmakers. But still gross. So this is why he gets sunglasses.

(Does he have heat vision? Why do none of the future machines seem to have infrared sight? Wouldn't that be super-useful if you're human-hunting?)

Kyle Reese's "I DIDN'T BUILD THE FUCKING THING!" line is such a relatable mood. We the audience already knew that Time Travel = Mandatory Nudity, but I think it's a nice touch that Skynet assumed the Terminator could just work with whatever was available instead of needing to bring weapons. He’s weapon enough. 

Also, this implies the Terminator is just human ENOUGH to pass through the field, which might have been a reason they started working with human-augmented machines in the first place. The reasoning seems to be--no, really--if you put enough living human tissue over a machine, it's "alive" enough for time travel. I don't understand how this works, exactly, but fine.

Oh, good, the cops are giving her body armor now. That can only help. Oh, no, it's a fake-out to explain how the Terminator survived being shot.

I don't understand how this movie is not a walking billboard for gun control, I really don't.

Kyle Reese being all "things are going to shit and I'm going to seize the moment". I think the policeman he slugged might actually survive if he was knocked unconscious and otherwise stayed out of trouble? Don't think the Terminator's going to bother when he's got his real prey to deal with...

And the lietunant who was nice to Sarah is dead. I knew that was going to happen. Great, now the other detective is, too. Sigh. NO ONE IN THIS MOVIE GETS TO LIVE EXCEPT SARAH... and maybe Pugsley the iguana? I don't think he's dead...

Oooh, oooh, another visual theme of this movie is broken glass and smashing windows to unlock things. DON'T FORGET THE BODY ARMOR ON YOUR WAY OUT. (If that's not Chekhov's body armor, I'm going to be very surprised.)  

God, it's so weird to contrast the different fates of the Terminator franchise and the Star Wars films, especially given their similarities.

Oooh, oooh! Huddle together for warmth under a bridge! Fall in love!

Skynet has no freakin' subtlety. You can tell they're not human because they automatically decide the best way to keep Sarah Connor from having kids is to kill her, not to have her doctor give her a fake diagnosis so they can perform a hysterectomy or some other scheme. Or even just giving her birth control.

OR HOW ABOUT EVEN CREATING A SPECIAL MODEL TERMINATOR SHE COULD DATE WHO WAS STERILE AND THEREFORE SHE'D NEVER GET PREGNANT. And then Kyle Reese would be the obnoxious dude trying to break them up for the good of humanity and constantly trying to prove to Sarah her hot boyfriend is actually a robot, and Sarah just thinks he's delusional/trying to get in her pants.

(Oh, my god, I want this fic now.)

Oh, she just discovered Kyle's hurt now, ordering him to take off his clothes, there's only one way this can possibly end.

Nice contrast between the Terminator calmly repairing his bloodied self and Sarah feeling nauseous and having Kyle talk to her while she fixes him.

Oh, god, the way Kyle Reese describes John Connor makes me wonder if Kyle had a crush on HIM or if he knew he was John's father from the get-go. FICS FICS FICS, WHERE ARE THE FICS.

Oh, okay, so Reese volunteered because he wanted to meet "the legend--Sarah Connor". Please tell me she's a legend because she's a badass, not JUST because her son is important. Please. Or at least allow me to keep my illusions, okay?

The way Reese looks at her is distinctly hero-worshipping, which is kinda funny given their roles to date. Also, Sarah is pre-badass at this point -- she will become one as a result of the events of this film.

Sarah also has a problem with time travel tenses, I sympathize.

"Thank you, Sarah, for your courage through the dark years. I can't help you with what you must soon face except to say the future is not set.... You must survive or else the future will never exist."

LOL, John telling his mom she better level up or everyone is doomed... so why isn't SHE the savior again??

And--open question--what happened to HER by 2029? Why is it John and not Sarah who's in charge?

Ok, so the HKs DO have infrared, but what keeps them and the Terminator from finding people on various occasions? (Yes, plot, I know.)

"Tell me a bedtime story about your dystopic past-that-is-my-future and give me all kinds of Nightmare Fuel..." (That could have gone better.)

Where do Future Humans get their Future Guns and Gear?? Do they steal them from machines? How does that even WORK? Wouldn't it be easier for the machines to just, I don't know, get creative and kill them some other way?

Keeping with the machine-man parallels, Reese has his own "code numbers" rather like a serial number that he uses to ID himself.

DOGGIES! THERE ARE STILL DOGS IN THE FUTURE, yay!

Yup, the humans in 2029 live in squalor just like the homeless people in the film's present - which might explain why Kyle Reese is remarkably at home, with way less culture shock than you'd expect.

Too bad he and Sarah are on the run and can't go to a fast food restaurant or something fun he's never had before.

The future kids are watching a fire burn in the shell of a TV, OH MY GOD.

Like, it's kinda good the future isn't set because if this what humanity's come to, it might be better to send someone back in time and hope it goes differently? Of course, things can always get worse. Not that they had a choice - I think discovering the machines' plan forced their hand.

Kyle Reese has a photo - is that Sarah Connor? Or is that the woman who got killed earlier in the film? I can't tell.

Dogs barking at the fake people just like the dog barked at the Terminator in the '80s. Nice. Interesting they don't try to shoot the dogs.

Ahh,the photo is burning, the symbolism.... especially when Terminator's flesh melting is going to be a Thing coming up. Cut to: Sarah's sleeping face. Foreshadowing much? (Also: WORST BEDTIME STORY EVER.)

Okay, the way he brushes her face is kinda creepy and hasn't aged well. I hope Sarah has dogs in subsequent movies? I would if I were her.

OH MY GOD, the Terminator has suggested prompts for conversations and chooses "Fuck you, asshole". DYING.

Oh, he's got her address book... and her mom's address. That's how he finds her. Otherwise, there's no way this movie will end in thirty minutes.

Kyle stopping to pet the dog while Sarah gets them a hotel room is such a beautiful background moment.

Sad that even the shittiest '80s motel room is nicer than anything Kyle has ever seen.

AHHH, SHE CALLS HER MOM, this is the smart and appropriate thing to do, but there's no way this can end well for her mom.

I thought the scene was going to cut to her mom on the phone with a gun at her back (before the Terminator kills her), but she's talking to the Terminator mimicking her mother's voice and I... don't know what just happened, but pretty sure it isn't good for Sarah Connor's mom's survival. (Why they didn't go back in time and try to kill HER before she had Sarah... seems like there are so many ways to do this.)

LOL, you think Reese is going to be into food and instead he's into manufacturing explosives in the kitchen. Nice. What follows is Baby's First Improvised Weaponry Lesson.

"He'll find us, won't he?" "Probably." WELL MAYBE IF YOU HADN'T GIVEN SOMEONE YOUR ADDRESS AFTER HE TOLD YOU NOT TO, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN "LATER" RATHER THAN "SOONER", ughhhhhh.

Kyle's reaction when Sarah asks him about his previous lovers is HILARIOUS if you assume he's actually in love with John Connor. But this does answer the question of who the woman in the photo was: it was Sarah, he's been in love with Sarah the whole time (and now kinda embarassed/thrilled at the prospect of sleeping with his hero?)

I can't tell if Sarah genuinely thinks he's hot or if she just feels sorry that he's a virgin. I guess it doesn't really matter since they've been through hell together and sex is a valid way of coping. Also, while Kyle isn't  as muscular as the Terminator, he's no slouch in the shirtless department--and he's not wearing a shirt in this scene.

Kyle's admission that he "disconnects" to avoid feeling pain just heightens the machine-man continuum even further...

Oh, my god, John totally knows that Kyle's going to be his dad, and that's why he gives them the picture of Sarah. SO AWKWARD TO BE SET UP BY YOUR SON.

This is the '80s so they can't just have casual sex, he has to be in love with her, and have ALWAYS been in love with her, because this is ROMANCE, and she's the heroine (otherwise it would be morally wrong??). I get it, although this trope hasn't aged well and seems vaguely stalker-ish, even though relatively little stalking was involved.

So he loves her, but Sarah never says she loves him... but she's stressed out and exhausted and she feels sorry for him and he's hot, wtf not?

Hey, he lets her top! That was unexpected and also kinda sweet.

What was the point of Sarah telling her mother if her mother never called back and if they were only going to be there for a day? Shouldn't she be suspicious that her mom never called back? IDIOT BALL.

Kyle hears the dog barking and knows what's up right away. You can see the "oh shit" look on his face.

YET ANOTHER CAR CHASE... except now they're in a truck and the Terminator's on a motorcycle. Oh, goody. And he makes her drive once she pulls out the explosives. Oh, good, an underground tunnel!

I don't understand why the Terminator doesn't shoot out the wheels on the truck. He keeps aiming for Sarah, and I know that's his mission, but... seems like it might be easier to disable the truck first? IDK.

Of course leaning out the window makes it easier for the Terminator to shoot Kyle... now that he's delivered his Sperm Packet from the Future, his role is done and he's toast.

That's also the first moment that Sarah really takes agency by swerving and crashing the car. I think up until this point, she's just kinda gone along with everything...? NOT A COINCIDENCE.

Oh, great, now he has a tractor-trailer. Full of gas. And you have explosions. This will end well.

Wow, the Terminator didn't kill the passenger in the truck after all. Why waste energy, I guess?

I don't understand why he goes for the tractor-trailer instead of.. I don't know, just walking over and strangling Sarah? He's a lot stronger than she is and she's trapped in a wreck. I don't understand it. That seems WAY like overkill. And also gives her time to get her bearings and escape with Kyle.

Kyle jumping into the dumpster is oddly appropriate, given how often dumpsters and trash appear in this movie.

Sarah breathes a sigh of relief WAYYY too soon after the truck goes up in flames.

WHYYYY is she going so close to the flames, that's so dumb, it must be so hot and toxic fumes, whyyyyy? (So they can be RIGHT THERE when the Terminator wakes up, that's why!)

This time Sarah's the one to break a window and unlock a door. Agency! Character development! Whatever you want to call it.

Can you really turn an automated factory on that easily? Shouldn't there be... passwords, or something? But I like that Kyle does it "so he can't track us" - so the EMFs interfere with the Terminator's abilities??

And of course, there's the irony that the smart machine from the future is destroyed by by the dumb machines of the past.  Humanity's enemy is also its savior. (Can you imagine what would havehappened if the Terminator had been able to talk to them and convince them to kill the humans / figure out where they were?)

Hey, the Terminator busts down the door in its Final Form and does the EXACT SAME DOOR OPENING TRICK IT'S ALWAYS DONE.

Sarah pulls a chunk of shrapnel OUT OF HER OWN LEG. She gets to scream while she does it because she's female, but it's the foil to the other "repair/healing" we've seen - and a sign of her own transition/evolution.

Kyle's face wound mirrors that of the Terminator, AHHH I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE.

And of course the Terminator still isn't dead even after it's lost half its body and is just this metallic torso dragging itself across the ground with its arms. Because we're still not done yet. Both Sarah and the Terminator have leg wounds, so they're both crawling, I like it. EVEN MORE PARALLELS.

Oh, god, it's on a conveyor belt now. NIGHTMARE FUEL. And then some sort of ventilation shaft? Oh, god.

And she's able to press the button as it's strangling her and issue a snappy one-liner LIKE THE ACTION HERO SHE IS! And watch its red eye stare balefully at her the entire time.

Oh, and THEN the police show up and she's put on a stretcher and bundled away. Could be worse, Kyle's on a stretcher zipped up into a body bag.

CUT TO: Sarah driving a truck in the desert. A pregnant Sarah is narrating into a microphone a message/memoir for her unborn son. There's a German shepherd in the backseat. Sarah's wearing the same headband we've seen before in Kyle's photo of her. She's got a pistol in her lap that she handles coolly and calmly.

She's in Mexico, at a gas station full of chickens. She tells John she's worried about paradox, but he has to send Kyle. So John DOES know, and gave Kyle the photograph so he'd be primed to fall in love with Sarah, thus guaranteeing his existence. The German shepherd is a Very Good Dog.

Sarah's very blunt about the fact that she and Kyle only had a few hours together, but says "we loved a lifetime's worth" and I'm not sure that checks out, but okay. Maybe on Kyle's end? I feel like Sarah barely had time for any of this, and maybe some of it is retroactive, but... anyway, maybe it's a story she tells herself so she can live with it, especially since she may not be interested, open to, or willing to risk any more relationships in the future, given that she's a perpetual target.

While she's talking about Kyle, her face twists up and a kid snaps a photo with his Kodak camera, and claims if she doesn't pay for it, his father will beat him. She knows it's a scam but takes it anyway, talking him down to four dollars instead of five.

The kid takes the money and runs away, crying about a storm coming. Sarah sighs. "I know," she says, and puts on dark sunglasses as tumbleweeds roll and she drives away, waiting for the apocalypse, towards some mountains that look awfully early-CGIish.

Credits roll. Acknowledgment to the works of Harlan Ellison - that's cool.

Wow, okay. Well that was a ride.

Reading the Wiki: I like how James Cameron decided to cast Michael Biehn as Kyle Reese because he was famous at the time, even though he's nowhere near a household name compared to the film's other stars. O.J. Simpson was floated as a possible Terminator, irony. Harlan Ellison credit was added after he threatened to sue for infringment--oh.

Also, (male) critics talk about how the Terminator represents masculinity, and the ideal man is both machine and human? I guess I don't really see the Terminator as ideal masculinity, but that's a rant for another day...

Also: wtf happened to the iguana??

[tech-battery]

The Razer Kishi Is the Smartphone Gamepad I've Been Waiting For

Betrayal, frustration, regret. These are just a few of the emotions I felt when I bought my first gamepad for a smartphone, the Logitech Powershell, in 2015. The sales pitch sounded so sensible. You’re already carrying a tiny computer in your pocket all the time, snap that phone into a controller case and you’d have the perfect mobile gaming device, right?

Sadly, the Powershell was a big-time piece of shit, with just a few, stiff buttons, painful ergonomics, and poor software support. In short, I felt burned. A lot can change in five years, though. Taking another look in 2020, I’ve found that today’s mobile gamepads have addressed many of the Powershell’s problems. (Some pretty successfully!) The newest of these is the Razer Kishi, which, while not perfect, gets you closer to turning your phone into a game console than ever before.

Between remote play apps and game-streaming services like Google Stadia and Microsoft xCloud, a good mobile controller now promises more than just greater precision in App Store games. Freed from the limits of onboard processing power, smartphones can play current-gen AAA titles—as long as your internet connection and gamepad are up to the task. Personally, I was just hoping for a controller that could get me through Symphony of the Night and San Andreas for the 1,000th time. I ended up finding something more than that.

In the year 2020

These days, there are basically two options if you want to game on your phone using real buttons instead of simulated, onscreen controls. You can either get a hinged clip that attaches a Playstation-style gamepad to your device or buy a dedicated “telescopic” controller that clamps on either side of it, making your phone look a bit like Frankenstein’s Nintendo Switch. The former, while dirt cheap, is about as finicky as it sounds. The Kishi belongs to the latter category, a space that obscure Chinese brands have quietly dominated in the absence of major manufacturer interest.

The Flydigi Wee 2T is a particularly well-liked example of these strange telescopic gamepads and served as my reference point while assessing the Razer Kishi. At a technical level, the Kishi has a few nice features the Wee 2T doesn’t. The Kishi’s thumbsticks can be clicked in, as on Playstation and Xbox controllers. It also has analog trigger buttons, allowing the gamepad to sense how much they’ve been pushed in. Finally, the Kishi directly plugs into your phone via USB-C or Lightning ports instead of connecting via Bluetooth, meaning no lag or connection issues, no need to charge it separately, and a pass-through port that allows you to plug in your phone while gaming. (Neither controller, sadly, has a headphone jack.)

None of these features matter a whole lot, of course, if the controller sucks to use and hold.

How does it feel?

The first thing I noticed about the Kishi was that it was big, like really big. Clamped on a 6.25-inch LG G8x, the controller measures in at around 10.5 inches by 3.5 inches by 1.6 inches, slightly wider and significantly thicker than a Nintendo Switch. The second thing I noticed was how solid its grip on the phone was. With some creative jury-rigging, I was able to get the Wee 2T to stop bending like a ruler in the throes of simulated combat. Out of the box, the Kishi felt much sturdier, slipping off the phone only when violently shoved into a seat-back pocket.

At the most fundamental level, I’m happy to report that the Kishi did what a controller is supposed to do well. The Kishi’s buttons were more springy than click-y and the analog sticks were precise and responsive with no discernible dead zones. My only real complaint with its build was an ergonomic annoyance. Despite its sizable footprint, the Kishi actually felt a little cramped in my hands. While not crucial for older or slower-paced games, operating the right analog stick was slightly uncomfortable in my natural grip—initially, at least.

On my first night with the Kishi, I struggled to play 2016's Doom without showing my entire ass to Mars’s demon community. In time, however, I adjusted. A week later, I’d played through half of Far Cry 5's main campaign on a phone and had stopped noticing the controller much at all.

Oh yeah, about that

“Great, great, sounds good,” I hear you saying, “but what games can you play?” Well, most of them. While few mobile-first games have controller support, most of the console ports, emulators, and game-streaming apps you’d actually want to use with a gamepad support them. In my experience, every app that worked with a Bluetooth controller played nice with the Kishi. Using just emulators and streaming, a decent smartphone paired with a controller like the Kishi can potentially play most console games made before 2000 or after 2013, which is sick.

Whether that experience is actually any fun is dependent on the comfort of your controller, the quality of your connection, and how optimized the game is for a small screen.

Personally, streaming a small selection of games from the cloud wasn’t as enticing as playing the ones I already had in a more mobile fashion. While my girlfriend watched cable or played something else on the TV, I used the Kishi to stream titles like Red Dead Redemption 2 from the Xbox One or PS4 in our home. (Notably, Playstation’s official Remote Play app doesn’t support third-party controllers, but unofficial versions do.) And when I was away from our network, the Kishi was a pleasant way to sink even more hours into old favorites like Metal Gear Solid or Perfect Dark.

And yet...

Still, there were some small annoyances. The same rubber piece that gives the Kishi such a solid grip covered the LG G8x’s proximity sensor, initially posing a bit of a mystery as to why the phone fell asleep so easily and why it was so hard to wake up. Similarly, that tight fit meant I had to remove the phone’s case every time I wanted to connect it. And while having a controller I didn’t need to charge was convenient, I found the Kishi shaved a few extra percentage points off the phone’s battery every hour it was attached, whether it was being used or not. Forget to plug in the passthrough port or detach the controller for a day and you might return to find a dead phone.

Perhaps the greatest limitation was one common to all telescopic gamepads I’m aware of. Because the Kishi covers a phone’s headphone jack and its passthrough port doesn’t support USB-C or Lightning headsets, your main alternative to using your phone’s speakers is Bluetooth headphones. In practice, this results in an audio lag that is slightly disorienting in single-player games but could mean instant death in, say, an online shooter.

And then there’s the price. At $80, the Razer Kishi is significantly more expensive than its closest (weirdo) peers, the $50 Flydigi Wee 2T and $35 Saitake STK-7007F. Frankly, none of these devices feel as well-made as their MSRPs might suggest, but I can say the Kishi is by far the sturdiest.

He was a gamer boy

In the end, whether the Kishi is worth 80 of your hard-earned dollars is a question of how far you’re willing to go to for a gaming experience that still won’t be perfect. Having spent dozens of hours fooling around with the thing, I can happily say, “Yes, I’m a sick freak who is willing to go that far.”

Once I adjusted to the stick placement and had all my apps set up, the Kishi brought me delightfully close to having the everything gaming device I imagined years ago. At home, it was a fun way to putter around newer open-world games while lying in bed. On a plane, it let me play a few hours of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas and temporarily forget where I was. Any annoyances I had about the controller’s ergonomics soon faded into the background. I began regarding the Kishi-and-phone combo as a single unit, a kind of turbocharged Game Gear to leave on my nightstand or throw in a bag.

After a few days with the Kishi—which we had taken to calling the “Game Girl” around the house—my girlfriend told me she kind of hated the controller. Why, I asked. “Because you’re so obsessed with it,” she said. She had a point. With little else to do in lockdown, tinkering with software settings to put every game I possibly could on the phone had become a game in itself.