The girls aren't supposed to do drugs when they're working, for example, but I
know it happens all the time. In fact, I offer this bit of advice to all
the clients of one girl who works for me semi-regularly: "I have a
little secret for you about this particular girl. If you don't mind the
smell, let her smoke a joint before you start. You'll have a much
better time, I guarantee it." The clients, without exception, have
appreciated that tidbit.
My official policy is that everyone must follow all the rules. In
reality, however, drugs are more of a don't ask, don't tell kind of
thing, as long as they're controlled. If I don't get any complaints,
then I don't care. But if a girl overdoes it and a customer lets me
know that she passed out or was acting crazy or partook in some-
thing in front of him that made him uncomfortable, I fire her for
getting out of line.
I can fire girls when I need to because I have a large pool of girls
to draw from. In fact, I try to use different ones every week. Most
of my girls don't live in the area but instead fly in from wherever
they live—Florida, California, Canada, sometimes Europe—and
stay in the hotel where they're working for a week, sometimes two
at a time.
There are two good reasons for using out-of-town talent. First,
using a different set of girls—girls who live all over the country,
sometimes the world—each week makes it much harder for any-
119
one to bust my agency, because it's much more difficult to use a girl
to get inside my organization and get to me. Second, variety is the
spice of life. From a marketing perspective, every time a new girl
comes in from somewhere, I've got a reason to send out an e-mail
blast advertising my new merchandise. Besides, I have clients who
use our service on a regular basis, as often as once or twice a week,
and if I offered them the same girls week after week after week,
they'd soon get bored with us.
"Donations" are $300 to $350 an hour for experienced girls, as
I've said before, but when I get a new girl who needs some experi-
ence, I will often offer her services for $250 an hour until she's built
up a reputation. I have lots of clients who are happy to break
someone in at a discounted price and then report back to me on
whether she's worth keeping. We also run specials on the Web site,
for Valentine's Day, for example, and give clients a break on their
birthdays along with "a nice complimentary bottle of red or white
wine or some bubbly to celebrate your special occasion!" Of course,
I have several clients who claim it's their birthday every few
months, so I make sure to note in the birthday special announce-
ment that "IDs will be inspected on your arrival." We offer special
lunch-hour half hours at a lesser rate for guys who are crunched
for time but want to get in a quickie before getting back.
We offer $50 discounts for referring a friend to our service, a $500
discount for recommending a qualified entertainer. I also have a
"frequent flier" program for our best customers.
In addition to accepting donations, I'm a big believer in barter
theory. On my site I say it this way: "Are you interested in barter-
ing with us? Are you an accountant? A computer tech? Car
mechanic? Doctor? Lawyer? Internet security specialist? Health
insurance agent? (I'm looking to get medical and dental coverage
for al of my girls.) We may be able to work out a special arrange-
ment with you!"
I like doing business this way because it allows me to get goods
120
and services without having my name attached or recorded. I've
gotten a new Mercedes, a couple of apartments, al my legal work
done, and some of my Web work, not to mention some badly
needed medications from a pharmaceutical rep and even therapy,
all by trading free or discounted appointments for what I wanted
or needed.
I allow my girls to do the same and make arrangements with
clients for what they need, but I do that only with the girls I know
well and trust. If you work for me, you have to earn privileges by
being a good employee. Before a girl can work for me, she has to
sign a contract and agree to the rules. All this is explained to her
up-front. In fact, the first thing I do when anyone calls me looking
for a job is send over the employee handbook. Many potential
employees drop out after reading my rules, but that's fine with me.
Those who are still interested are more likely to be professionals
who are good at their jobs.
Of course girls in this business aren't always the professional
types, so I have to check up on them as best I can. Take Serena, for
example. She was an Eastern European model who was referred to
me by a client. The agency she was working for at the time was one
of those $l,500-an-hour outfits in New York City, but she wasn't
getting enough work there, so despite the drastic pay cut, she
decided to come work for me. At first, she wanted me to charge
more for her, to sel her as a special, premium-priced offering, but
I told her it was my policy not to treat one girl like she was worth
more than any of the others. (I wasn't always like that; that's a
business principle I had to learn.) My philosophy is that there is
somebody for everyone out there and so every girl costs roughly the
same, even the fat ones or the older ones or the flat-chested ones or
ones who aren't that pretty. Some of my top earners over the years
would surprise you—like Bette, who has kind of a pig nose, or Jill,
who is rounder than most—but they always get excellent reviews
from customers for their uninhibited behavior. If you saw girls
121
like them across the room, you wouldn't be all that impressed, but
behind closed doors, they're good at what they do. Serena finally
agreed to my terms, and so I put her to work.
Serena was an easy sell. Based on her pictures and her pedigree,
lots of guys were anxious to get an appointment with her. But just
like with anything else you'd buy at a severely discounted rate,
there was reason to be suspicious.
Her first week she did extremely well. We filled up every avail-
able hour with appointments, close to three dozen in all. She was
very happy with the money she made, and so was I, so I booked
her in for another week of work about a month later.
By that time, however, her reviews had come out, and they
were dismal, some of the worst I'd ever seen. The next time she
came around, she booked about half as many appointments. At
that point, I hadn't caught on to what was happening yet, so, fig-
uring it was just a fluke, I had her back for a third time. By then,
word had spread far and wide, and I booked three appointments
for her all week. I've never had anyone do so badly before or
since. I couldn't even give her away to a regular client who had
seen her once before and felt he deserved a refund.
Finally I asked that client if he would confide in me about the
problem. Well, when the floodgates opened, he couldn't say
enough bad things about her.
"First of all," he said, "she looked nothing like her pictures,
which is not to say that she wasn't reasonably attractive, but when
you're expecting one thing and something else answers the door, it
can definitely kill the mood. It would have been better if she had just
taken new pictures and shown herself as she really is now instead of
using outdated and airbrushed model pictures, which just didn't
represent her at all. Second, and this was even worse, the place was
disgusting. I don't think she did a thing to clean up all day, and the
last thing I wanted to be thinking about was all the other guys who
had been in that room before me. But I couldn't help it. It was so
122
obvious. The evidence was all over the place. Third, she wasn't very
wel groomed. Being European, I guess she's more comfortable with
body hair and all that, but if you ask me, the full bush-hairy pits
thing went out of style in the seventies! And finally, her service was
horrible. She didn't seem to be having fun. She didn't talk much. It
was like, let's do this and get it over with. I don't need to pay for atti-
tude like that. I can get that at home!"
I thanked my client and gave him a discount on his next
appointment in exchange for his honesty. And then, since she had
violated a whole bunch of my rules and was basically offering
clients the exact opposite of the girlfriend experience, I told the
$l,500-an-hour girl she could never work for me again.
I worked hard in the beginning, but the payoff was worth it. I
made good money from the very start. Since I was living just
across the water, I went into Manhattan a lot when I wanted to
play and let off steam. I started dating this boy named Austin, who
was a traveling stripper and sometimes worked at The Gaiety, the
notorious male strip club in Times Square that was featured in
Madonna's Sex book. He was a gorgeous boy with the prettiest eyes
I've ever seen. Our relationship didn't last long, but my relation-
ships with some of his friends did. He hung out with this model-
esque group of guys who were a lot of fun. One of them, Jano,
lived in Miami, and somehow we got it in our heads that I should
move down there too.
The business was working out well in New Jersey, so I wanted
to keep it going but I also wanted a change of scenery. I talked to
Colonel Ed about it, and he told me to go ahead. This was a new
era for me business-wise, when everything was done remotely, via
Internet or cell phone, anyway. There was no reason, as the
Colonel pointed out, that I couldn't do exactly what I was doing
already, only from the beach in Florida.
I was psyched that I didn't have to be chained to my desk. I
123
found a phenomenal apartment in Miami that I was dying to live
in, but I somehow had to convince the managers of the apart-
ment complex that I could pay the rent even though I didn't have
a credit history or anything like that. I finally decided to send
them nine months of receipts from the upscale hotel I'd been liv-
ing in in New Jersey, and they took that as proof enough that I'd
be a responsible tenant.
I also made a deal with Jano. He was always having money
problems, so I told him he could be my roommate if he would
lease a car we both could use. (I hadn't had a license since my purse
was stolen when I was living in Montreal, and without one, I
couldn't lease a car myself.) I guess I was far too trusting then
about letting people into my life and business. In the end, both
Jano and the Colonel screwed me.
It all started when I got pulled over for running a stop sign. It
shouldn't have been that big of a deal, but when I finally went
down to the courthouse to pay the ticket some time later, I found
out that I was too late. If you don't pay your tickets in Florida
within a certain number of days, then you have to straighten
things out directly with the police.
0 notes