#the type of wound that makes me do awful things inflicting pain onto myself and others if i could | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dreamsofyexiao · 2 years

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I'm still so fucking angry over something that happened three months ago i will never be over it feeling as though i don't matter at all having my words and things that felt important to me snatched away with no regard to what i felt or what it could have meant to me having my words taken and my person dismissed being erased from something i started this is what gets to me this is what makes me heavy with sadness and then seering with a violent anger i still feel it I'm never over it and i promise i will never let myself go through that again i will fight i will get angry and i will get mean i don't care i can't let that happen to me ever again and then carry on the pain it never ever goes away

#the way i tried to bury my hurt at the time and try to tell myself it was okay that it was good to be open and understanding of this #but then no matter how i tried to tell myself i cried and cried and i was so hurt and then i was waiting for the hurting of it to go away #and it never has it's been so long and still it hasn't gone I'm still hurting from that one thing #everytime i think of it i get so angry i feel i could rip a person open with my hands but then the anger subsides #and i feel the true pain of it like a wave and i cry #the type of wound that makes me do awful things inflicting pain onto myself and others if i could #awkens the darkest and most animalistic parts of me #it is awful and it hurts and i can never comfort myself

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