#their relationship is so standard would i like more mike/nancy interactions yes would i like for nancy to be like omg mike how could i have

[maddy-ferguson]

people expect nancy to be mike's mom more than they expect joyce to be jonathan's

[flowers-that-sing]

ok i said id do it so im doing it

i have Thoughts on nancy wheeler. and how she approaches relationships. 

because nancy needs love, everyone does, and she deserves to be loved, and her attachment to family, to friends, to lovers, always tends to be rocky

i think if we’re gonna get into this we gotta start with family. her parents dont really love each other, and there is no trust between them or real loyalty (and her mom was literally about to hook up with an actual high schooler which i’m not gonna get into rn bc thats not what this is about but Yikes)

 her dad is absent, he doesnt support any of his kids, only makes it appear so on the outside. at some point i think karen wheeler might have been closer to her children, nancy more than mike, and nancy has always strove(strived??? striven?????) to gain her mother’s approval and care (as she grows up, this becomes less important to her, as does her relationship with her mother as she realizes she really doesn’t get her and doesn’t care to). her family has never been close, theyve never talked much about feelings, everything is repressed, and everything is for show. their clothing choices, the curfew (because if it was a safety issue i feel like maybe just maybe karen and ted might care a little more or do a little more but they just dont seem to give a shit and the curfew they have/had set is really just to make it look like they do), how they invite people over to their home, etc, it’s all for show. 

and nancy sees display, and proximity, as what is important--with steve, with jonathan, yes, but not just with romantic interests. in season 4 when she gets closer to robin, robin is there and nancy starts to attach to her. steve is there and nancy starts to attach to him again. even eddie to a degree. but now that she and jonathan are so far away, they’re falling apart, even though when they’re together in person it looks like they’re really in love. it’s the proximity and the display that makes her feel more secure because that’s what’s normal for her. 

and nancy wants to protect people she cares about. she does. and she tries to. but it’s not just protecting people, not the same way steve would fight tooth and nail to protect everyone or the way joyce would someone out of a prison, for nancy, it’s about logic and control. she needs to have things under control--part of why she has so many guns. part of why shes so detailed in making plans. part of why she is a lot better at not letting emotion cloud her judgement (even when the issue might require more emotional thought than logical). 

and oh boy i am SOOO off topic arent i

nancy favors control over security. when shes far away from someone the relationship matters less--it’s clear with jonathan but not just with him, you can even see it with how she interacts with her brother. she hardly really even sees him and when they were around each other she did say “hey you should talk to me” but after that they continued to not be around each other and she didn’t try to change that, instead focusing on the people in front of her. 

nancy is a really powerful, intelligent, totally fuckin badass character. and like all the other characters in this show her relationships and attachment styles are influenced by trauma and by societal standards and her family and childhood. she’s beginning to learn different but it’s new to her. and what i think nancy needs is time out of a romantic relationship, with anyone, to learn about security and attachment and love even when you dont see someone and care and sometimes not having control in relationships and i want her to grow into herself and grow into her friends/chosen family without the pressure of conforming to what romance “is supposed to look like”

i dunno if this really made sense i kinda just rambled a lot but i hope at least some of my points got across ok! if u have any thoughts pls lmk id love to hear them :)