#then there's the other issues of 1) the amatonormativity of her music

[peachdoxie]

Honestly I probably wouldn't find Taylor Swift nearly so annoying if it weren't for a large contingent of her fans thinking she's hotter shit than what Satan last shat.

[aro-comics]

Music (Part 2)

NOTE: This was originally uploaded in 2 parts (too long for instagram) but it was intended to be read as one, so I’ll be pasting the descriptions one after the other as well as putting a complete image description for the whole post after.

Part 2 - in which amatonormativity makes it near impossible to have things to fully relate to and enjoy like everyone else does. Personally, it didn’t really hit me that listening and singing along to songs about romance was something you COULD actually relate to. I thought it was a kind of melodrama that everyone just did because it was a social norm/code, not because people actually felt that way 😭 The song in the second last slide is Before I Cave In by Too Close To Touch :) Do y’all also love very messy breakup songs for the drama and the drama only??

Part 3  PART 2 CONTINUED - this one's a little more personal, haha. The songs are Wolves, Survive, and Architects, respectively, all by Rise Against. Sorry if rock/punk/post-hardcore isn't your cup of tea 😭 Listening to this kind of music was one of the first times I understood what it meant to relate 100% to a song. To sing every word and mean it, from the bottom of my heart. A lot of the music I liked growing up were about break-ups and romantic relationships gone wrong, but even if I enjoyed the melody, I knew deep down that I didn't fully understand what the song was about or was interpreting them in a different way than was intended. With songs like these though, messages about finding the strength to keep going, deciding to actually do something when you know things are wrong and taking charge of your own fate ... it’s way more relatable. I had a rough childhood, and lyrics like these remind me of what it took to keep going even when I wanted to give up on everything (not to be negative lol, I’m doing a lot better now 💚). Was there a song/artist that made you realize what it meant to relate to music fully (or is this just me)?

[Image Description:

Slide 1:  Title slide. “Music. II: Non-Romantic” In the background are drawings of headphones, stationary, a portable music player and a sheet titled ‘lyrics’. 

Slide 2: Text Slide. “Amatonormativity makes romance entrenched in our music.”

Slide 3: Slide shows an alternating series of small drawings and text. 

“Whether it’s a breakup,” (to the left, a drawing of two people having a fight) 

“A crush,” (a headshot of a brunette with a broken heart drawn on their shirt)

“Unrequited feelings,” (a drawing of a girl staring at another girl who doesn’t notice her)

Slide 4: Previous slide’s format continues onto this slide. 

“Falling in love,” (a drawing of hands holding a note. Inside is a stereotypical heart with arrow, inscribed with initials ‘H+J’. Bottom says ‘-luv u’)

“Jealousy,” (the person who was holding the note looking up, annoyed. In the foreground of the sketch the object of affections is leaning woefully into the arms of a girl, melodramaticallly saying ‘woe is me’)

“-it’s always about romance.” At the bottom left Celia stands talking to viewer, looking a bit dejected. 

Slide 5: Panel of Celia talking to the viewer but looking down. “As an aro, to be honest, it’s really alienating.”

Slide 6: Celia singing with her eyes scrunched shut, her fist raised in front of her as she pretends to be upset like the lyrics of the song. The background is a sharp goldenrod yellow to indicate the musical nature. 

In the background the lyrics are drawn in rough white brushstrokes: “Two hearts that beat in sync but they could never be”

Slide 7: Panel switches back to usual colour, and Celia seems to have snapped out of the moment. She says “- well that was … not relatable. At all.”

Bottom right corner: “But it’s also nice to sing along with things that you really believe in, relate to.”

Slide 8: Celia sitting on the ledge of an outdoor table. In the background are mountains and a forest. She is listening to music on a set of large red headphones. Caption at top reads “I guess that’s why I like rock music.” 

Slide 9: Text slide: “It’s not that I think pop, or other music genres aren’t socially aware. But I find that there are some great rock, punk, and post hardcore bands that sing about social issues, past traumas, healing, growth, and thriving.” 

Slide 10: Text slide: “I love singing along with them, acknowledging all of the unjust things which exist in this world, but still finding the beauty in life and the strength to not only survive but try and make things better.”

Slide 11: A musical slide with illustrated lyrics and a bright yellow background. Celia sings with a microphone in one hand, and her other hand raised in a stereotypical rock hand sign. 

Lyrics: “The smoke you ignored is a flame you can’t contain.”

Slide 12: A musical slide with illustrated lyrics and a bright yellow background. Split panel of Celia singing back to back. For the left side, she is signing more aggressively and seems to snarl. On the right, she stands up straighter and seems more hopeful. 

Lyrics: “Life for you has been less than kind/ -but how we survive is what makes us who we are.”

Slide 13: A musical slide with illustrated lyrics and a bright yellow background. Celia continues singing, smiling with her fist raised again. 

Lyrics: “Let’s decide to be the architects the masters of our fate”

Slide 14: Celia lying on her bed, listening to music on a set of headphones connected to her phone. Caption: “... it’s just so much more relatable than romance, I think.”]

[arowrimo]

AroWriMo 2021 Roundup

Here is the compilation of all 48 works submitted to AroWriMo 2021!

We have a lot of variety this year - short stories, poetry, non-fiction, a play, song lyrics, a zine, flash fiction and some novel/novellas! Check out the impressive writing collected here and support the writers themselves - links to their other sites/accounts are included where possible. Give them a look/follow, and share the works you really enjoy!

Thanks to all who submitted and shared for a wonderful AroWriMo 2021, and I look forward to doing it again in 2022!

Play/Script

Leaving: A (very) Unfinished Stage Play by charcharcharace (blogspot)

Post, direct link (blogspot) Summary: A fractured personal narrative on entering and leaving an unhealthy relationship and the pain of being aromantic without that knowledge. Word Count: 1200 Theme: Humanity Language: English Genre: Personal CW: Depression, manipulation, unhealthy romantic relationship, processing self-blame

Novels/Novellas

Syrinxian Diamond: Chapter One by charcharcharace (blogspot)

Post, Direct link (blogspot) Summary: After a heist gone wrong, our hero is caught up in an interdimensional prophecy that just may bring them answers to the questions they don't know how to put into words, a feeling of difference, of not feeling right acting how they're supposed to act - but what other way is there to be? Follow our hero through desert ruins, the Wild West, a royal ball, and of course, a midnight trip to the library. Word Count: 2539 Prompt: Hope Theme: Fantasy, Ancient World Language: English Genre: Portal Fantasy, Heist CW: Unsupportive sibling, chapter one features the absence of knowledge of aromanticism, and doesn't feature aromanticism directly.

Oh, the truth shall set you free by @amanita-cynth

Summary: “I know exactly four things about Alway.” She said wryly. “She’s 23, a genius, she keeps at least three feet between her and other people at all times, and she can root out the truth like nobody else.” Of course, coming from another profiler, such an assessment carried a lot of weight. Eden Alway, the newest member of an FBI profiling unit, is odd even by their standards. But as they begin to pry more into her life and struggle with some of what they find, her past is racing to catch up with her and drag them into the storm that was her life. Featuring misunderstandings, odd behaviour, the constant problems of amatonormativity, and a rapidly escalating series of bizarre problems that they are in no way qualified for but definitely isn’t magic. Word Count: 11000 Prompt: Non-romantic Relationships, Self-reliance Theme: Fantasy Language: English Genre: Crime, portal fantasy CW: Romance, Violence, Gore, amatonormativity, religious imagery, mild body horror later on, currently a WIP

Lyrics

Embers by @clad-in-sunshine​ (Wordpress, Twitter)

Post, Direct link (tumblr), Direct link (wordpress) Summary: I’m terrible at picking titles. But I have been enjoying writing songs, and this is one I wrote for AroWriMo and the Valentines theme of ‘Love, Romance and Friendship’ at my local folk club. The middle part is entirely uninteresting to me, so this is more about love and friendship than anything else, and the various forms that can take. The tune is called 'Midnight on The Water'. Word Count: 479 Prompt: Non-romantic Relationships, Self-reliance Language: English Genre: Singer/songwriter, Folk

Games/Interactive Media

Superheroes Inc. by charcharcharace (blogspot)

Post, Direct link (blogspot) Summary: It's time for your first day as the Supervising Hero Response Manager at Superhero Incorporated, the largest collection of super heroes on the US West Coast. It's a big step up from your last job managing a team of five up-and-comers out of Chicago to supervising a nearly a hundred teams. Your priority, of course, is choosing which of the 12 big league heroes to have Shadow teleport to high crisis events. Word Count: 3000 Prompt: Future Theme: Sci-Fi Language: English Genre: Sci-Fi CW: Death, Bigotry

Comics/Zine

My Aro Heart: A Zine by charcharcharace (blogspot)

Post, Direct link (blogspot) Summary:   A short zine about loving the aro community. Word Count: 50 Language: English Genre: Zine CW: Love (non-romantic)

Flash Fiction

#3 by @fuckin-fudge-nutter

Post link, Direct link (google docs) Word Count: 304 Prompt: Future Theme: Defying Expectations Language: English Genre: Realistic Fiction CW: Mild internalized arophobia

A Moth And No Flames by @voidpunk.kenku on Instagram

Post, Direct link (toyhou.se) Word Count: 337 Category: Flash Fiction Prompt: Hope Language: English Genre: gaslamp fantasy CW: insects

Future by 27twinsister on Ao3

Post, Direct link (Ao3) Summary: Hikari would be alone forever. He liked that idea. The note contains my headcanons for Hikari and what the words mean. Word Count: 146 Prompt: Future Language: English Fandom: Ressha Sentai ToQger, Nonomura Hikari Genre: Character study CW: None

Loveless by 27twinsister on Ao3

Post, Direct link (Ao3) Summary: Takeru and Akari love each other (not like that, this is genfic). Mentions “ love potions or something” in one line. The note contains my headcanons for Takeru and what the words mean. Word Count: 231 Prompt: Romo/loveless Language: English Fandom: Kamen Rider Ghost Genre: Fantasy/Supernatural, hurt/comfort CW: None given

Music by 27twinsister

Post, direct link (Ao3) Summary: Shinnosuke didn’t like silence. He liked being in an environment with other people, or with background noise. That only caused a bit of trouble at home once he lived with Kiriko. Word Count: 223 Category: Flash Fiction Prompt: Music Language: English Fandom: Kamen Rider Drive Genre: Character study CW: None

Freedom by 27twinsister

Post, direct link (Ao3) Summary: Eiji likes his freedom. The note contains my headcanons for Eiji and what the words mean. Word Count: 140 Category: Flash Fiction Prompt: Freedom Language: English Fandom: Kamen Rider OOO Genre: Character study CW: None

Mirror by 27twinsister

Post, direct link (Ao3) Summary: Tsukasa doesn’t dwell in any world. He just stays for as long as he needs. The note contains my headcanons for Tsukasa and what the words mean. Word Count: 223 Category: Flash Fiction Prompt: Music Language: English Fandom: Kamen Rider Decade Genre: Character study CW: None

Hope by 27twinsister

Post, Direct link (Ao3) Summary: Haruto is nervous about coming out. Word Count: 150 Category: Flash Fiction Prompt: Hope Language: English Fandom: Kamen Rider Wizard Genre: Character study CW: None

Self-Reliance by 27twinsister (Ao3)

Post, direct link (Ao3) Summary: Tsubasa likes to be alone. The note contains my headcanons for Tsubasa and what the words mean.   Word Count: 161 Prompt: Self-reliance Language: English Fandom: Mahou Sentai Magiranger             Genre: Character study CW: None

Non-Romantic Relationships by 27twinsister (Ao3)

Post, Direct link (Ao3) Summary:   Jiro doesn’t know if his relationship with Yuki is romantic. But it’s special to him. The note contains my headcanons for Jiro and what the words mean   Word Count: 209 Prompt: Non-Romantic Relationships Language: English Fandom: Dogengers Genre: Character study CW: Romance mention

Non-fiction

Thursday Thoughts: AroWriMo Week 1: Romo/Loveless & Future by @sophieakatz​

Post, Direct link Word Count: 562 Prompt: Romo/Loveless, Future Language: English CW: Romance mention

The Future Is Arospec by aceofarrows

Post, Direct link Summary: This blog post talks about the nature of romantic attraction, why getting rid of amatonormativity is a worthwhile project, and how arospec people can help bring this about by getting involved in political activism and queer liberation. Word Count: 800 Category: Non-fiction Prompt: Romo/loveless, Future Language: English CW: None

Freedom and Music by @nzcienif

Post, direct link Word Count: 488 Prompt: Freedom, Music Theme: Defying Expectations Language: English Genre: Non Fiction CW: None Link: https://nzcienif.tumblr.com/post/642572547990421504/arowrimo-week-2-freedom-and-music Promo: https://nzcienif.tumblr.com/

The Demand for Freedom to Be Oneself  by @graces-of-luck​

Post, direct link Word Count: 363 Prompt: Freedom Theme: Defying Expectations Language: English Genre: Narrative CW: None

Thursday Thoughts: AroWriMo Week 2: Freedom & Music by @sophieakatz​

Post, direct link Word Count: 647 Prompt: Freedom, Music Language: English Genre: Non Fiction CW: None

Defying expectations by @aallotarenunelma

Post, direct link Word Count: 986 Prompt: Hope, Mirror Theme: Defying Expectations Language: English Genre: Essay CW: Romance, Amatonormativity

Aro Visions and Hopes by @penandquillcafe ( @aroacechillzone )

Post, Direct link Word Count: 729 Prompt: Hope, Mirror Language: English Genre: Nonfiction CW: amatonormativity, arophobia, loneliness (metaphor)

Thursday Thoughts: AroWriMo Week 3: Hope & Mirror by @sophieakatz

Post, Direct link Word count: 201 Prompt: Hope, Mirror Language: English Genre: Non-fiction CW: Romance mention, Sex mention

Relationship Anarchy and Hugs by charcharcharace (blogspot)

Post, Direct link (blogspot) Summary: Applying relationship anarchy to family relationships and hugs. Word Count: 522 Prompt: Non-romantic Relationships Theme: Defying Expectations Language: English Genre: Non-Fiction CW: consent issues, boundary breaking

Thursday Thoughts: AroWriMo Week 4: Non-Romantic Relationships & Self-Reliance by @sophieakatz

Post, Direct link (tumblr) Word Count: Prompt: Non-romantic Relationships, Self-reliance Language: English Genre: Non-fiction CW: Romance mention

Poetry

Untitled by @brilliantsnafu

Post, Direct link Word Count: 38 Prompt: Romo/loveless, Future Language: English Genre: Nonfiction CW: Bigotry, arophobia; amatonormativity

Little Boxes by anon

Post, Direct link (Google docs) Word Count: 456 Prompt: Freedom Theme: Choosing to be Yourself Language: English Genre: Poem/non-fiction

To My Dear and Loving... by @writingthingsilike​

Post, Direct link (tumblr) Summary: A poem about being aromantic but still wanting a life partner Word Count: 165 Prompt: Non-romantic Relationships Theme: Choosing to be Yourself Language: English Genre: Non-fiction CW: None

AroAce by Catolica (Ao3)

Post, Direct link (Ao3) Word Count: 254 Language: English CW: Choose not to use warnings

icarus' stone by @franzimaya  (@witchreyna on Twitter)

Post, direct link Word Count: 199 Prompt: Freedom Theme: Choosing to be Yourself Language: English Genre: Poetry CW: Grief

The End of the Rouse Family Tree by @turnovers-and-coke (@arbys-chocolate-turnover, Wattpad)

Post, Direct link Word Count: 144 Prompt: Mirror Theme: Choosing to be Yourself Language: English Genre: poetry CW: None

Care, uncoupled by @graces-of-luck

Post, Direct link (tumblr) Word Count: 149 Prompt: Non-romantic Relationships Theme: Humanity Language: English Genre: Free Verse CW: Romance

Human = ( X - Y ) / Z by charcharcharace (blogspot)

Post, Direct link (blogspot) Summary: A poem about human essentialism Word Count: 129 Theme: Humanity Language: English Genre: Poetry CW: Mentions of essentialism and touches on dehumanizing ideas

Short Stories

Chasing Shadows by @secret-arrow-man

Post, Direct link Summary:  A questioning aro discusses relationship problems with an old friend. Word Count: 660 Theme: Choosing to be Yourself Language: English Genre: Fiction CW: Romance, Alcohol mention

My Valentine by @bimboztown on twitter

Post, Direct link (Google docs) Word Count: 305 Category: Short Stories Theme: Choosing to be Yourself Language: English Genre: Coming of Age CW: Suicide attempt mention

Made on the Shore by @clad-in-sunshine 

Post, Direct link Summary:  Cora had never had much interest in people, and had chosen to live alone on the shore for years by this point. When a ship sails close, she has to deal with both her interest in it and the Captain’s interest in her. Based on the song ‘Fair Maid on The Shore’. Word Count: 2129 Prompt: Romo/loveless, Future Theme: Choosing to be Yourself Language: English Genre: Fiction, Ambiguous historical fiction CW: Romance, Guns, Alcohol

What is given by @amanita-cynth (Ao3)

Post, direct link Summary: A short exploration of a woman helping a traumatised, adopted girl come to terms with her newfound freedom. Word Count: 5645 Category: Short Stories Prompt: Freedom, Music Theme: Choosing to be Yourself Language: English Genre: Mildly Science Fiction CW: mentions of human experimentation

Lady in the Mirror by @amanita-cynth (Ao3)

Post, direct link (Ao3) Summary: Everyone knows the story of the lady in the mirror. How she picks those she appears to is unknown. What she offers and why it is offered is similarly a mystery; those few that have interacted with her and speak of it are reluctant to share details. Maybe that is why the stories are so well-known, so far-travelled. The mystery calls to people and they want to believe they can solve it. Word Count: 1799 Prompt: Hope, Mirror Theme: Choosing to be Yourself Language: English Genre: Fantasy CW: None

Lights, Camera, Aro! by charcharcharace (blogspot)

Post, Direct link (blogspot) Summary: An aromantic actress is conflicted over how to engage with a romantically coded improv challenge. Word Count: 1885 Theme: Choosing to be Yourself Language: English Genre: Literary CW: a ghost, pressure.

Dark secret love by @aallotarenunelma

Post, Direct link (part a), Direct link (part b) Summary:  What if an aspec Wicked Lawless Love MC was paired with the incubus Sascha? Word Count: 6941 Language: English Fandom: Wicked Lawless Love (Lovestruck app), Sascha Orosco x MC (Suna) Genre: Fantasy CW: Death, Romance, Sexual content

Thought That Cupid Shot Me With Love But It Was Only An Aro by @entity9silvergen (Ao3, FF.net)

Post, Direct link (Tumblr), Direct link (Ao3) Summary:  Soulmates were supposed to be the other half of your soul. Your one true love. Ino always dreamed of finding her soulmate. Sai never wanted one. Still, they cared for each other so they were going to make it work. Somehow.

Word Count: 10000 Prompt: Romo/loveless, Future Language: English Fandom: Naruto. Characters: Sai, Ino, Shikamaru, Choji, Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, Kakashi Genre: Friendship/ Relationships CW: Mentioned Canon Death, Minor Aphobia

Mosaic by @entity9silvergen​ (Ao3, FF.net)

Post, Direct link (tumblr), Direct link (Ao3) Summary:  We are just mosaics of everyone we love and that mosaic shows everyone we love how beautiful they are. Bean doesn’t think she can love like everyone else but maybe that’s okay. Word Count: 2000 Language: English Fandom: Disenchantment. Characters: Bean Genre: Friendship, Self-Reflection CW: Internalized arophobia,  some self-deprecation, sex mention, drug mention, mention of canon interspecies relationships in fantasy setting Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29230041 Promo: entity9silvergen on Ao3, FFN, and tumblr

We Dance To Fast Music by @entity9silvergen​ (Ao3, FF.net)

Post, direct link (tumblr), direct link (Ao3) Summary: Zuko didn’t like to dance. Neither did Mai. But Ty Lee did and they’d do it for her. Fortunately for them, Ty Lee cared about how they felt and wanted to show them just how wonderful music could be. All Zuko and Mai knew were slow dances, the things of ballrooms and romance. Ty Lee only knew the dances of friendship, freedom, and fun. Word Count: 8000 Prompt: Freedom, Music Language: English Fandom: Avatar The Last Airbender. Characters: Zuko, Mai, Ty Lee, Sokka, Suki, Aang, Katara, Toph Genre: Friendship CW: None

Oblique  by @entity9silvergen (Ao3, FF.net)

Post, Direct link (Ao3) Summary: Unable to experience romantic attraction, Remus feels incomplete. Unable to feel sexual attraction, Roman feels less than. Maybe as the King, they decide, they will feel whole again. Their partners and friends, however, know this isn’t the solution and seek to help them realize there’s nothing broken about them before it’s too late. Word Count: 12000 Prompt: Mirror Theme: None Language: English Fandom: Sanders Sides. Characters: Logan, Patton, Roman, Virgil, Nate, Remy, Emile, Seth, Toby, Janus, Remus, Unnamed Orange Side, Romulus, Dragon Witch Genre: Friendship, Hurt/ Comfort CW: Romance, Sexual content, Violence

He Is Mild And He Is Meek by @entity9silvergen (Ao3, FFN)

Post, Direct link (Ao3) Summary: He is mild and he is meek, he is Momo and he is what I seek. Suki always wanted three things in life. One was to become a professional soccer player. The second was to live in a cute apartment filled with succulents. The third was to get a cat. Momo probably wasn’t anyone’s first pick as a pet but Suki was determined to get this cat to love her as much as she loved him. If only he’d accept he had a home now. Word Count: 6500 Prompt: Non-romantic Relationships Language: English Fandom: Avatar the Last Airbender. Characters: Suki, Momo, Sokka, Aang Genre: Friendship, Hurt/ Comfort CW: Mention of sex, non-excessive swearing

sick of all those love songs (sing to me about my friend on the moon). by nwhrs

Post, Direct link (Ao3) Summary: Johnny has always tried to follow the game, Ten has always stood out like a sore thumb, Chenle has always been quite vocal about himself, and Jisung really has absolutely no idea just what is going on (or does he?). And this is just a little part of their story. Word Count: 16413 Prompt: Non-romantic Relationships Theme: Choosing to be Yourself Language: English Fandom: NCT // Park Jisung, Zhong Chen Le, Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten, Suh Youngho | Johnny Genre: Slice of Life CW: Romance, Discussions of romance & amatonormativity

he loves you (he loves you not) by @ternaryflower53

Summary:   "Who's your companion?" the man asks.   "This is Jango," he says, not adding his last name. They have a false one, a name Jango sometimes uses in undercover missions when he doesn’t  want to risk being recognized as the Mand’alor’s son, but better if they can avoid using it. "He's my husband."   The man frowns down at his datapad, then looks up to study Jango. "I wasn't expecting you to come with a partner, Master Jedi."   or, jangobi fake dating au, but make it aromantic. Word Count: 6270 Prompt: Non-romantic Relationships Language: English Fandom: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy (Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jango Fett) Genre: Fanfic CW: Romance, fake/pretend relationship, request to be in a romantic relationship that gets shut down

[samclownchester]

Supernatural Rewatch 04x14

Sex and Violence

(Next Episode | Masterlist | Previous Episode)

Ah yes, the Siren episode where Dean has a male Siren :0 surely this is proof that he is attracted to men!?!!?

*deep sigh*

Listen, I think Dean is bisexual, I really do, however I hate when people point to this episode as proof of that because it is clearly doing something very different, and subversive in its own way. If you see him as being sexually attracted to Nick then … I mean, I guess. Whatever. Everyone has their own interpretations. But Sirens are not necessarily sexual beings, that’s what they’ve been painted as by a lot of media, but they are just supposed to lure you in with your greatest desire. What this episode tells us is that, as much as Dean likes sex, it’s not his greatest desire. Or, on another level, romantic love is not as important to him as platonic love is.

The idea this episode plays with is that the most important person in the world to you doesn’t need to be a romantic/sexual partner, which I think is GROUNDBREAKING.

It establishes early on in the episode that the siren doesn’t differentiate between different kinds of devotion. The one guy’s mom wasn’t a romantic threat to the Siren, but she was the most important person in that guy’s life, and so she became the Siren’s target.

“But Ray,” you say “the siren didn’t try to give that guy a new mother figure. It was still establishing a romantic/sexual connection with him! So why would it try to imitate the brotherly bond with Sam instead of just drawing Dean in with sex/romance?”

And the answer is: because Dean wouldn’t have responded to that. The guy who killed his mom surely loved his mom, but he probably still had a desire for romantic connection, hoping to get married and have his own family someday or something like that. I don’t think Dean has that. Sure, he wanted Cassie to understand him, and he has dreams of settling down with Lisa and Ben (and I’m not saying he has no romantic attraction to those women but you can also attribute that to amatonormativity) but at the end of the day what matters to Dean is connections that parallel his relationships with his father and his brother.

SAM You poisoned him.

MUNROE No. I gave him what he needed. And it wasn't some bitch in a G-string. It was you. A little brother that looked up to him, that he could trust. And now he loves me. He'd do anything for me. And I gotta tell you, Sam, that kind of devotion? I mean, watching someone kill for you? It's the best feeling in the world.

The Siren makes it clear that what it wants from its victims is not romance or sex, it’s devotion. It wants people to kill for it. That’s what it considers “love.” It saw that Dean was more likely to kill out of a brotherly devotion rather than a romantic connection, so that was the angle it went for with him. Dean would never prioritize a romantic relationship over his brother, he just wouldn’t.

And the thing about Nick is that … he’s not a carbon copy of Sam, instead he is everything Sam has never been, accentuating the things Dean wants that Sam lacks. He bonds with Dean over cars and music, two things that Sam has never really had an interest in, and, crucially, he doesn’t push for Dean to explain himself; he easily trusts his plan, and we know Sam has always pushed to understand the why behind everything they do.

DEAN It's kinda hard to explain, but I have my reasons and they're good ones, so you're just gunna have to trust me on 'em.

MUNROE Yeah. OK. I guess.

DEAN Thank you. That's actually nice to hear.

And, especially because Dean has already been feeling distrustful toward Sam, he falls for it.

This reminds me of in 3x01 when Dean is cornered by Lust, one of the seven deadly sins, and she isn’t able to have any affect on him. Like, we all know that Dean likes sex, but when it comes down to it, when he faces monsters who literally prey on people based on their sexual desires ... it doesn’t work on him. Lust got her head dunked in holy water and the Siren had to find a work around. 

The Sam/Cara subplot is obviously supposed to be a red herring, to make us think we know who the Siren is, but is also tells us a couple of interesting things about Sam and how his attitude toward relationships has changed.

First of all, we know he’s back in contact with Ruby, but we can also assume that after 4x04 they had some sort of break-up and we don’t know what their dynamic is currently like. There is also the possibility that they’re not/never were exclusive but given how monogamous Sam is I find that hard to believe. But who knows? That being said, he doesn’t seem to have any qualms about having a one-night stand with Cara.

DEAN You gonna say goodbye to Cara?

SAM Nah, not interested.

DEAN Really? Why not?

SAM What's the point?

DEAN Well, look at you. Love 'em and leave 'em.

Remember in season 3 when Sam said that he was going to become more like Dean? Remember last episode when Sam said he needed to “grow up”?

So, what I think is going on here is that Sam thinks he’s setting aside his kinda “childish” desire for relationships to last. Obviously, this isn’t actually a childish thing to want, but our society kinda paints one-night stands as like … I don’t know a masculine and mature thing to do? And Sam feels like he needs to become this … tough, masculine, unsentimental person. (You know, go against that gentle nature of his).  (also the demon blood is affecting him.) Additionally, this ties in to the idea that building connections isn’t worth it in their life. It’s something he pushed back against in Season 1, but Sam has started to learn that making any kind of relationship last is basically impossible in their lives, and he has stopped trying.

Now, the only reason the Siren had any luck turning the brothers on each other was that there were already issues arising between them.

Dean’s issues with Sam

Dean covertly finds out that Sam has been calling Ruby and lying to him about it. He pretends to have not heard Sam’s phone call and gives him an opportunity to just tell him who he was calling, but instead Sam lies, and Dean hates being lied to.

DEAN Well, I don't know when it happened. Maybe when I was in hell. Maybe when I was staring right at you. But the Sam I knew, he's gone. … And it's not the demon blood or the psychic crap. It's the little stuff. The lies. The secrets.

As a type 8, betrayal is a very difficult thing for him, and he responds pretty extremely. But it’s not just the betrayal, he also feels like his little brother has fundamentally changed. And he’s … not wrong? Sam is changing, he is a very different person than the faithful, sentimental, nerd that we met in season 1. Dean is scared of those changes.

Sam’s Issues with Dean

Sam has always hated being controlled. He didn’t like being ordered around by John and now he has Dean breathing down his neck and disapproving of everything he does.

SAM So I need your say-so to make a phone call?

I do understand why Dean is angry that Sam is hiding from him that he is talking to Ruby, but also Dean has a tendency to hate the idea of Sam having a life outside of the two of them and that’s not cool. I’ll probably talk more about this later. 

SAM OK, fine. You know why I didn't tell you about Ruby, and how we're hunting down Lilith? Because you're too weak to go after her, Dean. You're holding me back. I'm a better hunter than you are. Stronger, smarter. I can take out demons you're too scared to go near. … You're too busy sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. Whining about all the souls you tortured in hell. Boo hoo. … You're not standing in my way anymore.

Hey, remember in Season 3 when Dean said “you’re stronger than I am” to Sam? Remember how I said that was gonna come back later?

Obviously later in the episode Sam claims this was just the Siren talking but ... we all know this was coming from somewhere. But it’s something Sam, in his normal state, would never say. (Like, taking that dig at Dean for his guilt about Hell?? Man, that’s cold.) But on some level it’s things Sam really believes. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was something Ruby had told him though … But anyway, this episode shows us that, somewhere inside Sam considers Dean a burden, and feels like he’d be more successful without him. This obviously doesn’t outweigh the love that Sam has for Dean, but especially at this point in his journey, when he’s all messed up by Ruby and Demon Blood, they’re thoughts he’s been entertaining.

W*nc*st shippers DO NOT interact