#thepriceofgreatness

[justlightlysedated]

Start from Part One on AO3

part ten of eleven, for @bestillmyslashyheart so sorry for the long wait, i love you!! 🥰💖

*

Alex felt the excitement bubbling inside of him as he spots the Airstream and the truck both parked outside of the cabin, meaning that Michael has come back from his self imposed exile, to pack the rest of his thing, while Alex had been taking Buffy back to the Animal Shelter.

He had gotten a little upset when Alex had mentioned it two mornings ago, but they hadn't really talked about it. 

Alex hadn't mentioned that it was just temporary because he still hadn't been sure that the plans that he'd been making would actually come to fruition.

But after a phone call with a friend he had in Florida, and a visit to the travel agency that Isobel had suggested, he had everything figured out.

All he had to do now was tell Michael.

He turns the keys in the ignition and opens his door, dropping down to the floor and almost tripping in his haste to get inside.

It's only when he closes the door behind himself that he hears the argument.

"I'm just trying to look out for you!"

"Well, don't!"

Alex inhales deeply at the sound of Max's voice and as he gets closer to the cabin, he can see that Max's jeep had been hidden from him by the Airstream.

Alex just looks up to the sky, begging for patience not to punch Max Evans in the face, but all of that flies out of the window when Michael yells again.

"Then stay the fuck out of it!" He says, and his voice cracks a little, desperate and almost terrified, and Alex snaps, moving before he's even aware of it.

The door to the cabin opens with a slam before Alex even gets there, and he can hear Michael's voice again simmering with rage and pain.

"Get out," he says, voice cracking. "And don't fucking come back."

Alex appears in the doorway before Max can even move, and both brothers turn to him in one fluid motion.

Michael's eyes are bright with unshed tears, and his eyes immediately dart away from Alex. 

Alex feels a pang low in the pit of his stomach, but he'll deal with whatever is bothering Michael after he deals with Max.

Max's eyes are blazing with anger and his glare intensifies when Alex turns to him.

"Tell him," he demands, and Alex immediately bristles.

"You have no right to come into my home, start a fight with my husband and then demand something from me," Alex tells him. "I think you've overstayed your welcome."

Max just grits his teeth and takes one step towards Alex. "Tell him that you're leaving again."

Alex exhales roughly, "I already told you that that is not happening."

"I saw you at the travel agency and I talked to the agent who dealt with you and she confirmed that you booked a flight, so please tell me again, how you're not leaving."

Alex stares at Max for one single, stupefied second.

"Fucking unbelievable," he says, huffing out a breath.

He turns to Michael who is looking back at him, and he tries to telegraph with his eyes how wrong Max is, but Michael's brow just furrows.

"This is exactly why I hate living in a small town," he says, taking a step towards Michael, feeling relieved when Michael doesn't move back. "No fucking privacy."

Michael stares at him intently.

"So he's right?" Michael asks, voice wavering just a little, like he doesn't really believe that Max is right, but he needs Alex to confirm that he's wrong.

"Of course I'm righ-" Max starts and then shuts up at collective glare that Michael and Alex turn on him.

Alex turns back to Michael who looks at him expectantly.

Alex exhales and holds his hands out, not stopping the smile that spreads across his face when Michael immediately puts his hands into Alex's.

Alex squeezes his hands and moves in a bit closer, shaking his head a little.

"I'm never going to be able to surprise you, am I?"

Michael tilts his head at him.

"Yes," he says, after a few moments of silence. "I did go to the travel agency tha-"

"I told you so," Max interjects and they both turn to glare at him again.

Alex turns back to Michael who is still glaring at Max.

"The one that Isobel suggested that I go to," he continues, and Michael's gaze snaps back to him, and he can feel Max looking at him too, but he ignores that. "You know with the brochure that she gave us as part of our wedding present?"

Michael's entire posture relaxes and he tightens his hold on Alex's fingers.

There is a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, and his eyes are bright with excitement.

"I was thinking we start small," he continues. "Since you've never been out of the country. So I thought, Florida."

Michael furrows his brow, "Florida?" He asks skeptically.

Alex just raises an eyebrow and waits for Michael to get it.

Michael's face goes a little slack, and his eyes light up even more, and when he smiles, he looks exactly like the same boy that Alex fell in love with, and it makes a wide smile spread across his face.

"You don't mean-" he starts sounding like he's trying to tamp down his excitement.

"Yes, I do," Alex says, and his smile widens when Michael pulls him close, until their feet are overlapping. "I managed to get us a private tour, and while I know that you don't want to leave the planet anymore, they do have a simulator, and I'm pretty sure that together we can sneak out a few schematics just in case we would ever need to build our own spaceship."

Michael lets his hands go to drag him into a kiss that’s more him pressing their smiles together than anything else.

Michael pulls back, pressing their foreheads together.

“Have I told you that I love you today?” he asks rhetorically, nudging their noses together.

“Nope,” Alex says, wrapping his arms around Michael’s shoulders. “But I know.”

Michael hums low in his throat, and then pulls back like something just occurred to him.

“What about you?”

Alex furrows his brow. “I love you, too?”

Michael rolls his eyes and pushes Alex back a little bit, keeping his fingers wrapped around the collar of Alex’s jacket so that he doesn’t get too far.

“I mean this honeymoon is starting to sound a little one sided.”

Alex just tightens his arms around Michael’s shoulders pulling himself closer.

“Well, I’m gonna get to hack into a secure NASA database and there is a cabana right on the beach with our name on it, and,” he continues leaning in even closer and lowering his voice, until it’s barely a whisper. “I’m only planning on packing some sunscreen.”

Michael makes a low noise at the back of his throat and pushes in to give him a kiss when Max clears his throat loudly.

Alex shuts his eyes.

He had forgotten all about Max.

When he opens his eyes and looks at Michael, it’s to see that Michael also forgot.

They both sigh at once and then let each other go, turning to Max.

There is a look on Max’s face, as though he’s starting to understand something, which makes Alex defensive immediately.

"You were right," he tells Michael, who leans a little bit closer to Alex until their shoulders are pressed together and he can tangle their fingers together.

"I usually am," Michael says, with just a small hint of animosity.

Max rolls his eyes.

"About me never seeing you actually happy," he continues and both Alex and Michael freeze, staring at him with wide eyes.

Max just shakes his head. "I still don't understand any of this, but I don't want to lose you Michael."

Alex feels Michael tightens his fingers around his.

"You're not losing me," Michael says, finally. "You're my brother, and as much as I hate it, it gives you a reason to meddle and be worried, but there really isn't anything to worry about. I swear."

Max looks down at their joined hands and then back up to Alex's face.

"I'm beginning to see that," he answers.

Michael lets Alex go, and herds Max out of the cabin with one arm around his shoulder.

They talk and Alex watches as Michael leads Max to his jeep.

Max says something that makes Michael stop and dart his eyes at Alex, before looking back at Max and then pulling him into a hug.

Alex bites down on the smile that wants to spread across his face and just leans against the door jamb waiting for Michael to come back.

Max leaves, and Michael jogs up the steps and stops right in front of Alex lifting one eyebrow.

He seems to be lighter than he had been when this whole thing started and Alex feels happiness bubbling inside of him at the thought that things were turning around, at least where Michael's siblings were concerned.

"That went much better than my last talk with Max," Alex says, which makes both of Michael's eyebrows raise up.

"You had a talk with Max about us?"

Alex just gives him a winning, innocent smile, and drags him into a kiss when he just continues to look at him expectantly.

Alex manages to distract Michael enough that he gets them across the cabin and almost to the bedroom, when he trips over one of the squeaky toys that he forgot to pack for Buffy.

They pull apart as Michael steadies them, pushing his body flush against Alex's and pinning him to the wall.

They both look at each other, breathless and pink cheeked, and then look at the toy on the ground that squeaks as it inflates slowly.

"So, Buffy," Michael starts and Alex just smiles as he turns back to face him.

"I already filled out all of the paperwork," he says, reaching up and dragging fingers through Michael's hair. "And they'll have everything ready for her to come home with us once we get back."

Michael smiles, bright and happy, and Alex feels so happy he could burst.

"I love you, Mr. Guerin," Michael whispers, leaning in close, eyes darting down to Alex's mouth.

"And I love you, Mr. Guerin," Alex responds.

Michael seals the words with a kiss and Alex responds back enthusiastically, feeling like he's finally, finally home.

[empowermentfirst-blog]

Time to man up! Exceptional people usually go through exceptional size problems! . . #thepriceofGREATNESS #paytheprice #exceptionalissueexceptionalvictory #coaching (at Norfolk, Virginia)

[iamrodrigoov]

The Price of Greatness - Sir Winston Churchill #thepriceofgreatness #winstonchurchill #sirwinstonchurchill #thornwillowpress #thornwillowbroadsidelibrary #broadside #book #books #livro #livros

[justlightlysedated]

for @bestillmyslashyheart​ 💖💖

part four to the thrilling trilogy from yesterday

*

"Marry me," Alex's voice is like a gunshot in the early morning quiet of his bedroom in the cabin.

Michael jumps at the sound because he hadn't realized that Alex was awake and blinks at him, not really understanding what he said.

"What?"

Alex's phone vibrates again on the nightstand, the noise that had woken Michael up, but Alex doesn't look away as he licks his lips, and inhales deeply.

"Let's get married," he says, and Michael freezes looking at him with wide eyes, feeling like his heart wants to burst out of his chest.

For a single second, he thinks, is this how Maria felt when he asked, and it's the thought that makes him hesitate with the answer on the tip of his tongue.

"What?" He asks again, because Alex was the one who said that they were gonna take things slow and do this right, and sure, having sex wasn't going slow by any stretch of the imagination, but there was that and then there was this.

"You made a choice last night," Alex says, moving closer, and leaning his head against his arm and looking at Michael in a way that makes Michael want to move closer, so he does, sliding across the sheet and pressing their knees together.

Alex bites his lip, smiling a little, and moves even closer.

"And now I'm making mine," he continues and Michael tries to concentrate on the conversation they're having instead of the fact that Alex is naked and Michael is allowed to touch him now.

"What?" Michael says for the third time breathless.

Alex looks away for a second and then looks back at him.

"I'm not good with words, which you already know, but we said everything, and I want it all before the rest of the world tries to tell me I can't have it."

Michael licks his lips and exhales slowly. "What happened to going slow?"

"Don't you think almost twelve years is more than enough time?"

Michael stutters out a laugh, and leans in close, one hand coming up to press against the warm skin of Alex's neck.

"What about-?"

"Guerin," Alex cuts him off. "Close your eyes."

Michael does, and he feels Alex lean in even closer, pressing his forehead to Michael's and brushing their noses together.

Michael inhales shakily.

"Forget about everything and everyone and just answer. Do you want to marry me?"

"Yes," Michael says immediately.

"Then let's go get married," he whispers.

And really, there's only one thing that Michael can say to that.

*

Alex hasn't stopped smiling since they left the courthouse, he also hasn't stopped touching Michael since they got into the truck, making it kind of difficult to concentrate on driving.

Michael also can’t seem to stop the smile that keeps wanting to tug the corners of his mouth or the way his eyes drop from looking at the road to the delicate silver ring wrapped around his left ring finger or the fact that he also can’t stop touching Alex, his right hand on Alex’s thigh.

It takes much longer to get back to the cabin than it did when they drove to the courthouse, but Michael doesn’t mind.

He stops the truck, and follows the insistent tugging of Alex’s fingers in his hair, and sinks into the kiss, wrapping his arm around Alex to tug him in closer.

Michael feels the cool metal of the ring wrapped around Alex’s ring finger pressing along his jaw, and he turns his face blindly, and presses a kiss to it, eyes heavy lidded as he looks at Alex, who just watches him from too close and inhales sharply when Michael opens his mouth and licks.

“We should take this back inside,” Alex says sounding out of it.

Michael nods his head, but just pulls Alex in a little bit closer, pressing another kiss to his hand before he kisses him again.

Alex surges against him, dragging his hands into Michael’s hair, and wrapping the strands in his fingers and holding tight as he keeps Michael as close as possible and devours his mouth.

Michael doesn’t know how long Alex kisses him for, it could be just seconds or hours, but by the time he lets Michael go, Michael can’t even remember exactly what it was that he was supposed to be doing.

“Take me inside,” Alex whispers into the small, humid space between their mouths.

Michael nods his head eagerly, and presses a quick kiss to Alex’s mouth before he’s detangling himself from him and practically falling out of the truck, by the time he regains his balance, Alex is already halfway to the steps leading to the balcony.

Michael catches him right before he reaches the first step and presses him up against the side beam, catching the bright smile that Alex turns to him with his, before he slides his mouth down the length of Alex’s neck.

“Come on,” Alex says tugging against Michael’s clothes. “There’s a nice, big bed in my bedroom where we can continue this.”

“Hmm,” Michael hums against his throat. “I think that we should start here and work our way through the entire cabin.”

Alex laughs. “How about we start in the living room and try not to get arrested for public indecency?”

Michael drags his mouth back to Alex’s and kisses him quick, pulling back to look at him.

Alex’s smile is soft and happy and his eyes are shining bright with joy and there is a flush on his cheeks, and he looks like all the things that Michael has ever wanted wrapped up in one distractingly attractive package.

“Come on,” Alex repeats and pushes lightly against Michael’s shoulders.

Michael steps back and Alex moves, bouncing up the steps and making his way to the door.

Michael stops him right before he can open it, and then just sweeps him up into his arms, struggling a little, but managing to get his arms securely around Alex’s back and beneath his knees and pull him against his chest.

Alex yelps and wraps his arms around Michael’s shoulders, giving him an incredulous look.

“What are you doing?” he asks sounding amused and exasperated. “Put me down.”

“No,” Michael says, squeezing him closer to his chest. “I’m just fulfilling my duties, darlin.’”

“Duties?” Alex asks skeptically as Michael narrows his eyes and opens the door with a thought.

“Yes,” Michael says as he crosses the threshold with Alex in his arms, smiling at him when Alex raises an eyebrow. “Carrying my husband over the threshold is the first rule to a happy marriage.”

Alex smiles bright biting down on his lip-

Then the sound of glass bursting to pieces as it falls on the floor pops the bubble of happiness surrounding them.

Alex tenses in his hold, and goes even more tense when he sees who exactly is inside of his home.

Michael’s heart starts pounding in his chest as he sees Kyle standing on the other side of the room, his arms which had been crossed, falling as though they forgot what they were doing, his mouth open in shock. Michael really doesn’t want to look around to see who else is inside.

“Put me down,” Alex says, his voice barely a whisper, but sounding so loud in the deadly quiet that had fallen in the room when the glass had shattered.

Michael does what he’s told, automatically.

“What are you guys doing in here?” Alex asks, and his voice is barely contained rage, and something like guilt, which tells Michael that the person he hoped wasn’t there, definitely is.

He remembers how heavy his heart had been the first time that Alex had seen him and Maria together. He wonders if it’s going to feel the same way once he looks at her with the knowledge that he made a choice and it wasn’t her.

“Husband?” Maria asks, voice shaking, and Michael’s gaze snaps to her.

Her hands are shaking and she’s looking down at the coffee table and the pieces of broken glass are scattered across the floor in front of her.

He distantly notes that Liz is sitting on the arm of the chair Maria is sitting in, and that by the disapproving vibes he can practically feel trying to drown him, Isobel and Max are also there.

Michael can feel the guilt heavy in his gut, and he can’t look away from where Liz has an arm wrapped around Maria’s trembling shoulders, and he doesn’t know what to say to make any of this better. He doesn’t think there is anything that he could say to make this better.

He feels Alex’s hand, fingers cool, wrap around his, the cold metal of his ring pressing against Michael’s fingers, and the guilt lessens a little, because he knew at the end of this, even if everyone else hated him, he still had Alex, and that was the only thing that mattered.

He winds their fingers together and holds on tight as he looks away from Maria and across the faces of their friends and family.

Liz looks shocked, her gaze caught by their hands, blinking dumbly as though she has no idea what’s happening.

Max looks disapproving and disappointed. Isobel also looks disapproving, but there’s also something that looks a whole lot like relief shining in her eyes.

“I know that I have an open door policy,” Alex says, fingers tightening around Michael’s. “But that only applies when I’m home.”

“How long has this been going on?” Maria asks looking up, but she doesn’t look at Michael, she turns her gaze to Alex, eyes red rimmed and wet with tears staining her cheeks, her mouth pulled down into an unhappy line as she stares at him. “Were you with him the entire time that we were together?”

“No,” Alex says sounding pissed off. He moves and Michael wraps his other hand around his elbow to keep him trapped against his side. “I’m no one’s second choice.”

Maria closes her eyes at that and inhales deeply, seeming to collect herself.

“You didn’t even wait for the tire tracks the truck left as he sped away from the Wild Pony to clear before you married him,” Isobel says sounding impressed. “That takes balls, Manes.”

“Isobel,” Max snaps like an angry dad. Alex presses closer to him, and Michael swallows hard but still can’t find the words to say.

“You actually got married?” Liz asks eyes darting from Alex to Michael and then back to their hands and all over again.

“Yes,” Michael says and all eyes dart to him. “We did.”

“I thought it was cold feet,” Maria says looking at him for the first time since he walked into the room.

It hurts, he’s not going to lie. But, it doesn’t hurt as much as it did when Alex looked at him like that, with betrayal shining in his eyes.

“I thought that you were running scared because you were feeling insecure, because you’re not used to being with someone who doesn’t want you to go.”

Alex makes a disbelieving sound at the back of his throat, but doesn’t say anything.

“But you were running back to him,” she finishes and the anger is suddenly the only emotion that Michael can see in her face. “What was I? A consolation prize while you waited for him to be ready to be with you?”

Michael is shaking his head immediately, opening his mouth, but Alex’s angry voice cuts him off.

“I was ready to be with him twelve years ago and five years ago and a year and a half ago. It was never about whether or not I wanted to be with him.”

"How could you do this to me?" Maria asks him, her voice trembling with barely contained anger, looking at Alex like she doesn’t even know him.

"I don't know if you blocked it out of your memory because ignorance is bliss after all,” Alex says in a low voice that’s more pained than angry. “But I'm in love with him. I've always been in love with him and you knew that, but decided that it didn't matter because you deserved to do something selfish and only think about yourself and your feelings for once.”

“How was I supposed to know that it wasn't just a high school fling? You never told me anything!”

“You never asked!” Alex yells and takes a step forward and this time Michael doesn’t stop him. “Because you didn’t want to know the truth! Because all you cared about was how you were feeling! And if you had asked me it would’ve made you feel guilty that you were sleeping with the man that I’ve been in love with for ten years.”

Maria shakes her head in disbelief. “You can’t keep using that as an excuse. Sure, you love him, but you pushed him away. You kept walking away. And now, now is when you decide to do this?”

“I didn’t do anything,” Alex says. “He made a choice, and what was it that you told me the one time I tried to talk to you about it? Oh, that's right, it was his choice to make. I guess it's much easier to respect his choices when you're not the one getting your heart broken."

Maria’s mouth snaps shut and she looks away from Alex.

“Are you just not going to say anything?” Max asks, and Michael looks at him, and he looks like he wants an explanation, but Michael doesn’t owe anyone an explanation. Not really, and least of all to Max.

“What do you want me to say?”

“That you’re sorry?” Liz suggests and Michael's eyes dart to her. “That you weren’t thinking? That this,” and she waves her hand to encompass Alex and Michael. “Was a lapse in judgement? Because you just broke off an engagement, only to get married to someone else, and that doesn’t look right.”

Michael licks his lips and looks at Liz, raising an eyebrow. “Do you think I care how this looks? Or what people will think? Because I don’t. I love him. I’ve been in love with him for over ten years, and even when it hurt, it never went away. And even when I tried not to, it was always there simmering in the back of my mind.”

"Did you even love me at all?" Maria asks as she stands up looking at him with eyes that are brimming with fresh tears.

"Yes," Michael says holding her gaze. "But, it wasn’t enough."

Maria makes a low mournful sound in the back of her throat, and then she’s gone, running around them and out of the cabin before anyone else can say anything.

Liz crosses the space between them, and slaps Michael hard across the face, raising her hand to probably do it again, only for Alex to stop her.

“Don’t,” he says voice terrifyingly blank, as Michael looks at Liz with wide eyes, feeling the hot sting of her palm on his cheek.

“You deserve each other,” she tells Alex tearing her hand out of his hold and running after Maria.

Max follows after her, shaking his head in disappointment, followed by Kyle who doesn’t even look at Alex when he speaks.

“You know, when I called you to let you know about what happened, it was so you could knock some sense into him, not for you to do this.”

Alex tenses at his side, but doesn’t say anything as Kyle leaves.

Isobel follows behind everyone a little more slowly, and looks at Alex. “Dinner. My place. Next weekend.”

And then turns her gaze on to Michael. “You handled this badly and it’s going to suck for a while, but I’m glad you’re happy.”

She pats his cheek right where Liz slapped him. “You feel lighter in my head than you have in over a year, which is really the only thing that I care about. Everyone else will eventually realize that you just can’t get in the way of destiny.”

She walks by them then and closes the door behind herself.

It’s not until he hears the car engines turn over and then leave that Alex exhales roughly and starts to shake, almost sinking to the floor if it wasn’t for Michael.

Michael leads him over to the couch, and he collapses down on it and buries his face in his hands.

Michael kneels in front of him and his hands hover around his shoulders before he drops them back down to his lap.

“That sucked,” Alex says, voice muffled by his hands.

Michael swallows hard and tries to blink away the way his eyes start filling with tears.

“Do you regret it?” he asks in a low voice.

Alex’s head snaps up and he looks at Michael while he shakes his head. “No,” he says and reaches for Michael, cupping his jaw and pulling him in close. “No,” he repeats stronger. “Never could regret you.”

Michael feels the relief sweep through him and leave him boneless.

“Good,” he breathes. “Because I can’t find it in myself to regret anything, when I get to keep you.”

Alex bites down on his lip, before he tilts his head, giving Michael a look from beneath heavy lids. “You’re mine, Guerin. You always have been. It’s about time you got with the program.”

Michael just laughs, feeling the bright bubble of happiness and love push away every other feeling, until all he feels is warmth and Alex’s hands, cool against either side of his face.

“It took me a while,” Michael admits. “But I’m never letting you walk away again.”

“That’s good,” Alex responds. “But you won’t ever have to worry about that. I’m never walking away from you. You’re stuck with me for the rest of your life.”

Michael smiles and closes his eyes feeling blissfully happy, “I think I can live with that.”

[justlightlysedated]

Part One || Part Two || Part Three || Part Four || Part Five || Part Six || Part Seven 

Part Eight of ???? for @bestillmyslashyheart, sorry i still haven’t thought of another title

* * *

Max is surprised to hear Michael’s truck pulling into his driveway while he’s leaning on his desk drinking his morning cup of coffee.

He looks over to the guest room where Maria and Liz are still asleep, and sets the mug down. 

He hears Michael getting out of the truck and his steps as he makes his way to the front door, and he frowns when there is an official sounding knock on his door.

Michael never knocks, and when he does, it never sounds like that of a stranger’s.

Max walks over to the door, and opens it, and his confusion turns into shock when Alex Manes gives him a sardonic smile.

“Are you busy?” he asks, and then walks right into the house, brushing past Max.

Max looks out to the driveway to see that he wasn’t wrong. It was Michael’s truck, but Michael wasn’t the one who’d been driving it.

Max turns around and sees that Alex didn’t go far, just a few steps inside and then turned around to face him standing at attention, like a soldier.

“Is there something that I can do for you?” Max asks, squaring his shoulders, and crossing his arms over his chest.

Alex raises an eyebrow at that and then rolls his eyes. “I’m not here to take up much of your time. I just have one thing to say.”

He takes a step closer, letting his hands hang loose at his sides, posture relaxing slightly as though he deems Max a non threat.

“You can be mad, and disappointed, and whatever else you want to be about how we handled the situation, but you do not ever tell Michael that I’m going to leave him because you know exactly zero about the situation.”

Max inhales deeply and narrows his eyes at Alex. “I know about your father. What he did to Michael.”

Alex gives him a slightly startled look, but it’s masked so quickly that Max thinks he imagines it.

“And, you think that makes you an expert on the situation?” Alex responds raising an eyebrow.

“No,” Max says. “But I know my brother, and it took years for him to tell me the truth. Years where you left him over and over again. Years where he was miserable and stuck in stasis until-”

“What?” Alex says. “Until Maria brought a breath of fresh air into his life? Do you really think that your brother decided to move on because he fell in love with Maria?”

Max blinks at him, feeling wrong footed for a second, but Alex just steams right along not really expecting an answer.

“You know, I thought out of everyone you and Isobel would’ve known Michael the best, but it’s looking like, you don’t actually know him at all.”

“And you got to know him so well,” Max snaps taking a step closer to Alex. “In between coming here sporadically to roll around in his bed and give him enough hope to fuck him up when you leave and the couple of months you were here before he made the decision to be with Maria instead of you?”

Alex’s left eye twitches but he doesn’t look away or back away. 

“I’m not here to talk about that,” Alex states decisively. “It has nothing to do with you, but since you want to involve yourself, answer me this question-”

He licks his lips and takes a step closer, chin tilted a little as he looks up at Max, “How did it feel when Liz came back into town and almost immediately tried to jump into bed with Kyle? Not good I imagine.”

Max wasn’t expecting that, and he has to shut his eyes and clench his fists when he feels himself pull against the electric currents. He can feel the way the lights flicker.

When he opens his eyes again, back in control, Alex is raising an eyebrow at him as though Max proved his point without saying anything.

“Now take that feeling and multiply it by a hundred and you’ll get how I felt every single day for the last year and a half, the main difference being that Kyle wasn’t like family to you then, but Maria was like family to me. I only had two people in this town, Michael and Maria. And Michael was the only one I visited every single chance that I got.”

“To keep him tangled up in you-” Max starts, not liking how many times Alex is taking him by surprise in this conversation.

“Because I love him!” Alex yells, and then takes a step back and exhales roughly before shaking his head and closing his eyes and then inhaling deeply, and then turning a look on Max that seems to be completely devoid of emotion.

“Everyone seems so stuck on the fact that I kept walking away when I had no fucking choice but to leave,” he swallows and blinks rapidly before giving Max a sardonic smile. “You say that you know about what my father did to him, but it sounds like you think that that was something that happened only because Michael was Michael, and that’s not the reason why. But I refuse to tear open the scars that I took so long to heal from just so you can get some closure. Michael knows why I did what I did, and that’s the only thing that matters to me. He believes that I’m not leaving him again, and I’ll do anything to make sure that no one ever hurts him again, even if I have to protect him from you.”

"And who's going to protect him from you?" Max asks, and keeps going when Alex's eyes flare and he clenches his jaw. "Who is going to pick up the pieces when you leave again?"

"Are you deaf, or hard of hearing, or do you just have a comprehension problem?" Alex snaps. "I'm not going anywhere. I haven't gone anywhere since I finally finished my contract with the Air Force. I hate this town and all the people that live here, but I'm here, because Michael is here, and I'm never going anywhere without him again."

Max just blinks at him, not knowing what to say.

Alex swallows hard and looks away before he turns back to Max. "And that's all you're getting from me. I'm not expecting you to welcome me into your family with open arms, and I'm definitely not expecting to go on double dates with you and Liz. Hell, you don't have to like me, Max. I don't care about you or what you think of me. But Michael does, and he cares about your opinion, and he cares about your acceptance, and he cares so much. You're his family, and he is mine. So you're just going to have to learn how to deal with it."

And then Alex moves fast and pushes Max back against the open door, one hand in the middle of his chest, as he looks at him seriously, and for the first time since this conversation started Max feels scared of Alex.

"But if I hear you're telling him things that are only feeding into his insecurities and hurting him, I won't be this nice during my next visit."

He pushes away from Max then and walks out through the open door, leaving Max to watch him as he goes feeling like he's missing something big.

Alex pulls his phone out of his pocket and smiles bright at whoever is calling.

"I told you I had an errand to run in the morning," he's saying as he gets into the truck. "It's not my fault you hid my keys but not your own."

The rest of his words are cut off as he closes the truck door and starts up the engine.

Max watches him leave, and he lets out a breath before he moves, closing the door behind him and feeling more confused about this whole situation than he's been since it started.

* * *

Alex opens the door to the cabin and Michael drags him inside, ignoring the coffees he's holding in his hands to kiss him.

Alex kisses him back, moaning low in the back of his throat as Michael pushes him back against the open door.

Michael kisses him almost to distraction and Alex makes a mournful sound when he pulls away, eyes fluttering open, to see Michael looking at him with a sweet smile on his face. 

"Good morning," he whispers low and slow. "You weren't here when I woke up."

"Sorry," Alex whispers back breathless. "I had something to do."

"More important than me?" Michael asks leaning in closer and pressing a kiss to Alex's chin.

"Never, just unavoidable," Alex says and his breathing stutters as Michael drags his lips down the length of his neck. 

"I got coffee," he offers, and Michael immediately stops kissing him to take the two paper cups from his hands, and sets them down on the small table beside the door, and kisses Alex again.

Alex slides his fingers into Michael's hair and tugs him in close kissing him hard and a little desperate. 

His conversation with Max wasn't bad all things considered, but it still left him feeling with a bad taste in his mouth at the way that everyone else seems to view their relationship up until this point. 

Michael pulls away to inhale deeply and Alex drags his hands through Michael's hair, to press his fingers to the back of his neck as he drops his forehead to Michael's.

"I love you," he whispers and Michael jolts a little against him. "So much. I'm never going anywhere without you ever again."

Michael nudges their noses together and Alex's eyes flutter open. Michael's eyes are shining bright and happy. "I know," he says. "I wasn't freaking out because I thought you left again. I'm already used to waking up next to you and kissing you good morning, you can't just not be there. It's like an addiction, and I need at least three hours in order to satisfy it properly."

Alex huffs out a laugh, and Michael nudges their noses together again. 

"You get two hours, before we have to go to the courthouse. I made an appointment for the name change."

Michael kisses him hard, biting down against his bottom lip and making Alex moan into his mouth, and wrap his arms fully around his neck to pull him in even closer.

Michael pulls back slowly and Alex's eyes blink open slowly.

Michael smiles happy and bright and sweet, before it goes wicked as he presses the tip of his tongue to his top lip and leans in a little, eyes turning dark.

"How many times do you think I can make you come in two hours?"

Alex inhales sharply, feeling a spike of heat that jolts down his spine and up the back of his neck.

He opens his mouth to answer, and Michael drops to his knees.

The answer gets lost somewhere between Alex's fingers finding their way back into Michael's hair, and Michael unbuttoning Alex's jeans with just a thought, his hands hot and heavy on either side of Alex's hips.

[justlightlysedated]

part six of who knows, previous part by @bestillmyslashyheart

* * *

“I am sorry, you know,” Michael says, and sees how Alex freezes in the process of washing out his coffee mug.

He finishes it, and then turns to Michael. He’s all dressed up in his uniform, ready to go to the base and do whatever it is that he does when he has to go in. 

He looks at Michael thoughtfully for a second before asking. “What are you sorry for?”

“For not realizing how alone you were this whole time,” Michael says, and sees how the words affect Alex immediately, and how he covers it up fast.

He starts to shake his head, “Guerin, I-”

“Wait,” Michael says. “Don’t hide it from me. You don’t ever have to hide anything from me anymore. Especially about what you’re feeling. That’s how we get misunderstandings like me thinking that you don’t love me.”

Alex exhales roughly giving Michael a look like he can’t believe that that’s the example Michael is using and then just shakes his head.

“Okay, yes, there were moments when I was lonely, moments when I wished that I could call up Liz or even Maria to come keep me company, but it passed, and Kyle made sure that I wasn’t alone too much, and I kept myself busy, and I even had you at times.”

“That’s not what I meant-” Michael starts trying to explain himself, but Alex shakes his head again.

“You don’t need to apologize to me or explain anything. I knew why you did what you did, Guerin. I’m not oblivious to the fact that I hurt you, over and over again. And after what happened with Max, and with your mother, I just-” he stops speaking looking to the side and shaking his head again before he licks his lips and looks back at Michael.

“I understood where you were coming from, and maybe, I could’ve pretended that it wasn’t killing me everyday, but the person that you chose to play house with wasn’t just some random stranger, it was Maria, and the fact that everyone kept telling me to get over it, and kept letting me know how happy and perfect you were together, and that I needed to move on.”

He sighs, and smiles a little when Michael steps closer and catches his hands.

“No one understood, and they all thought they had the full story, so they didn’t know that it was an impossible task that they were asking me to do. There is no getting over you, Guerin. And it’s not like I haven’t tried. Nothing ever seemed to compare, so I knew it was pointless.”

Michael looks at Alex, and still feels like he needs to apologize for something, but instead he leans forward and kisses him lightly.

Alex is smiling when Michael pulls back, and he reaches for Michael, tugging his hands out of Michael’s grasp and sliding them into his hair.

He tugs Michael in for a longer, deeper kiss, and Michael has to stop himself from moving forward and pressing Alex back against the counter.

“Don’t worry,” Alex whispers as their lips part. “I’m definitely not holding a grudge against you, and you don’t need to apologize about this. You didn’t force everyone to act the way that they did. That’s on them.”

Michael exhales and just looks into Alex’s eyes making sure that he’s telling the truth.

“Besides,” Alex continues hands sliding out of his hair as he steps back and gives him a sad smile. “I’m not the one you owe an explanation to.”

* * *

“We’re closed,” Maria’s voice is as sharp as a whip and with twice as much bite, and Michael already knows it’s going to get worse once she realizes exactly who is at the door. 

But he has to do this.

“I know,” he says, and Maria tenses up immediately, and her gaze tracks him down in the mirror and she narrows her eyes.

“What the fuck are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at home with your husband?” she asks spitting the word out like a curse.

Michael inhales deeply and takes his hat off his head. “Can we talk?”

Maria scoffs. “There’s nothing to talk about. Not anymore.”

“I owe you an explanation,” Michael says still hovering right in front of the door.

“You owe me much more than that,” she snaps and finally turns around. 

She looks at him, and Michael notes how her eyes are puffy and bloodshot and she looks like she hasn’t slept in the last couple of days, and it makes him feel guilt deep in the pit of his stomach. 

“I want the truth, Guerin,” she says spitting out his name with as much vitriol as she did the word husband. “And not just what you think that I want to hear.”

Michael swallows hard and nods his head. “Okay,” he inhales deeply and licks his lips. “The truth is that I love him.”

Maria closes her eyes tight and looks away from him before she moves to duck behind the bar.

Michael moves towards the bar as she grabs a bottle and opens it up and takes a swig directly from it.

She sets the bottle down and gives him a look like she’s daring him to sit down, so Michael just grips his hat tighter in his hands and waits.

“You told me that it was long over, that there was nothing between you but a long history of him walking away, and now, you’re standing there telling me that you love him, like it makes any sense-”

“I was convinced that he didn’t love me anymore,” Michael blurts out cutting her off. 

Maria gives him an incredulous look, opening her mouth to speak. He raises a hand in the air. 

“Just, listen for a second. You wanted the truth. And the truth is that Alex was shouting and I wasn’t listening because I’d gotten so used to being left behind, that I didn’t realize what it meant when he kept coming back. And since confessions are always Alex’s prelude to leaving, I had already resigned myself to the fact that he was going to walk away again. So I walked first, and you were-”

“Do not,” she says voice cold as ice. “Use the word convenient.”

Michael blows out a breath, “I wouldn’t say you were convenient given how much us being together hurt someone we both care about.”

She scoffs, rolling her eyes.

Michael licks his lips and steps forward. “You may hate him right now, but you do care about him.”

Maria looks away from him shaking her head before she sighs and looks back. “So what, this is payback? Because us being together hurt him, you have to even out the scales?”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” Michael says stepping forward and stopping when Maria steps back even though she’s standing behind the bar. “This isn’t about hurting you,” he says raising his left hand in the air and waving it around. “It had nothing to do with you at all. Just like me choosing to be with you wasn’t about hurting Alex, or even about him at all. It was about me, and after everything that had happened, I needed something normal and easy, and things with you were exactly what I needed.”

“So what changed?” she asks, crossing her arms. “Because you needed me, and I know we were happy, and I know that you loved me, so what happened?”

“He didn’t walk away,” Michael says swallowing hard. “He stayed in one spot where I could go look and find him. He answered every time I called him, no matter how late. He let me into his home when he knew I needed a safe place to fall apart and put me back together without expectations. He gave me the space that I needed and when I needed him he gave me that too. And it’s not that I didn’t trust you, but some things are just hard for me to talk about.”

“But you could talk to Alex?” she questions, brow furrowing.

Michael shakes his head. 

"I didn't have to, because he already knew. Since the moment I met him, he's been involved in some way with every defining moment of my life. For better or for worse," he finishes with a wry tone.

Maria gives him a long unreadable look before she reaches for the bottle of tequila and takes another long swig. She sets the bottle down and then takes a deep breath. 

“He says that nothing happened, but I need to know, did you cheat on me, Guerin?”

“He kissed me,” Michael admits looking away. “And it felt like goodbye, for real, and I couldn’t-I can’t live without him.”

“When?” she asks, and then scoffs shaking her head. “I don’t even have to ask. It was the Tuesday before last, wasn’t it?”

Michael just looks away again, not able to answer, and she takes another drink from the bottle of tequila.

“You haven’t kissed me since you kissed him, did you notice that?”

Michael shakes his head, as he looks back at her.

She shakes her head at him, looking up to the ceiling as though to steel herself.

“You know, I could probably find it within myself to understand all of this, but why did you propose to me, if you’ve been in love with him the whole time?”

“I felt like it was time,” Michael says looking around the room. “I told you, I’d never been in a relationship before you, and I talked to Isobel and she suggested that maybe it was time to move things forward. We were already sort of living together. It seemed like the next logical step.”

Maria scoffs. “You propose to someone because you love them and want to spend the rest of your life with them, not because it’s a logical step.”

“When I asked you to marry me, I thought that I was going to spend the rest of my life with you,” Michael says.

Maria gives him a look. “Because you thought you couldn’t have Alex.”

Michael looks away at that, swallowing hard.

He hears Maria dragging the bottle of tequila back off the bar and closes his eyes, inhaling deeply.

“I know it’s not worth much now, or probably ever, but I am sorry that I hurt you.”

“Do you even hear yourself when you’re speaking?” she asks rhetorically. “This whole thing had no other outcome, from the beginning you knew you were going to choose him. It was all a matter of time, all a matter of you realizing that he’s been in love with you the whole time. I guess, I should be happy that at least it happened before we actually got married.”

Michael swallows hard and steps forward. “Maria, I-”

“No,” she says shaking her head. “It’s my turn to speak. Choosing to do this with you cost me the one person that I could always count on to be there for me, and I thought that it was worth it because you loved me and we made each other happy. When my mom took a turn for the worst, do you know who I wanted to call? Alex, but I couldn’t talk to him, because he didn’t even want to see me. And for a while I thought he was just being childish and spiteful, how was he going to let a teenage crush get in the way of our friendship? But I was so blinded by my feelings for you that I failed to realize that he would've never acted like that unless it was more serious than I thought. I should've broken the promise I made myself and used whatever this ability I have is to learn the truth, because all of this could've been avoided if you had just told me that you were in love with him too."

Michael opens his mouth to speak, but she shakes her head, raising a hand to stop him.

“Answer this question for me, you say that you didn’t get married to hurt me, so why did you? Why didn’t you wait?”

“He asked,” Michael says shrugging. “And I’d give him anything he wanted.”

Maria makes a disbelieving sound in the back of her throat shaking her head again.

“How do you know he’s not going to walk away again?” she asks, and it makes the air catch painfully in his lungs. “Now that he has you, how are you so sure that he’s not going to leave?”

Michael exhales roughly. “I don’t,” he admits. “But he says he won’t. And I trust him.”

Maria shakes her head again and puts the cover back over the bottle.

“This is the conversation that we should’ve had a year and a half ago,” she tells him. “And maybe Alex is right when he says that I didn’t want to know, but you didn’t want me to know either.”

Michael just swallows hard, but doesn’t look away as she stares him down.

“Thank you for telling me the truth,” she says stiffly. “Now. I’m going to need you to forget the way to get here for a while, even during working hours.”

Michael just inclines his head and places his hat over his head.

“And for your sake,” she says as he turns to leave. “I hope your trust isn’t misplaced, because I’m never going through this again, Guerin.”

Michael just shuts his eyes tight and walks out of the door. 

* * *

"Don't freak out, okay?" Alex says as soon as Michael gets out of his truck.  

Michael gives him a look, eyeing him to see how serious the situation is, and comes to the conclusion that it’s not serious at all. Alex isn’t even wearing shoes, which only happens when he’s completely comfortable, and Michael is about seventy five percent sure that the flannel shirt he’s wearing over his faded Air Force t-shirt belongs to him, and that he lost it over a year ago.

Michael reaches for Alex, wrapping his fingers in the open collar of his shirt. "Is this mine?"

Alex blinks at him momentarily confused, and his cheeks go a little pink, which is really all the answer that Michael needs.

He leans in, and Alex's eyes drop to his mouth.

Before Michael can say or do anything else, the sound of someone's booming laugh comes from the other side of the cabin.

Michael looks over, like he can see through the cabin and to the other side if he concentrates hard enough, and catches the scent of barbeque in the air.

He looks back to Alex, raising an eyebrow, as he hears Kyle say something loud followed by more laughter.

“Freak out about what?” Michael asks because it sounds like they have more company than Kyle.

Alex gives him a winning smile that momentarily stuns him. “Well, apparently when you bleed all over someone it forms a lifelong bond that means that they have your name on a list that enables them to become aware of any changes made to the files of information that the government keeps on all it’s people.”

By the time he’s finished speaking, he looks exasperated, but fond.

Michael’s eyes narrow. “And all of that is Alex speak for?”

Alex smiles and rolls his eyes a little, “My previous CO found out that I got married, and got upset because I didn’t invite him to the wedding, so he invited himself and his wife to dinner, and brought along enough gifts to inform me that my whole troop knows about the marriage.”

Michael takes a step back, hands unclenching from the collar of Alex’s shirt, but he keeps his hands resting on Alex’s chest while he watches him, trying to see if there’s something that Alex isn’t telling him.

But he looks so happy, almost like he’s glowing from within with the feeling, and it makes something ache deep within him when he realizes that he doesn't remember the last time that he saw Alex this happy.

Michael moves his hands, sliding them to the back of Alex's neck, and leaning in close, "You're really happy that he came to visit."

Alex bites down on his lip, brow furrowed a little, before he shakes his head and gives Michael  a soft smile, draping his arms over Michael shoulders.

"Not exactly," he answers, and then leans forward closing his eyes and presses their foreheads together. "I knew from the moment that you chose me that we wouldn't be able to share anything with anyone because they wouldn't understand it or they wouldn't want to know, and that I would have to tamp down how fucking deliriously happy you make me in front of your family and everyone else, but that didn't stop me from wanting to shout it out from the rooftops, and you have no idea how good it feels to tell someone who means so much to me, how happy you make me."

Michael watches Alex's face from this close, how his lips stretch into a small smile, and feels the guilt heavy in his stomach, but more than that, he wants to make this right, and he will.

"Hey," Michael whispers, nudging his nose to Alex's and smiling when Alex's nose wrinkles and his eyes flutter open.

Alex looks up at him, and Michael kisses him.

Alex makes a soft sound against his mouth, before he slides his fingers into Michael's hair and deepens the kiss.

Michael moves, pushing until Alex is pressed against the side of the cabin, and he can push in close and kiss him deeper and try to fuse their skin together through osmosis.

Alex parts their mouths with a gasp turning his face to inhale deeply and Michael rests his forehead to Alex's temple, closing his eyes and breathing heavily.

"I promise, that eventually we'll be able to share exactly how happy we are with everyone."

Alex doesn't say anything.

"I talked to Maria today," he says and feels Alex's fingers start to gently pet at his scalp. 

"I kind of figured that you would," Alex responds, slow and easy. "You okay?"

Michael exhales roughly. "Yeah, I am, now. What I'm trying to say is that, I don't care how upset it makes everyone else. Be as happy as you want, because I'm definitely not going to hold back."

Alex tugs against his hair and turns to face him and just stares at his face for a long moment before he smiles again and leans in and presses a quick kiss to Michael's mouth pulling away too fast. Michael makes a low noise and Alex laughs.

"We have company," Alex says, smiling. "They know I came out here to get you. Kyle will probably be by soon to make sure we're not getting too distracted."

"What is Kyle doing here?" Michael asks raising an eyebrow. "I thought he was also mad at us."

"He is mad at us, more you than me though. But he said I'm also his friend, and brought me some whiskey and champagne yesterday to celebrate our marriage. He's happy that I'm happy. And he was leaving when the Barkers got here, and I've had to explain three times that he's not the one I married, so you need to come with me now so I can show off my husband.

"Okay," Michael says nodding his head and swallowing hard. "Okay, and you don't think that your CO is going to be disappointed when you introduce me as your husband instead of the surgeon who works out regularly?"

Alex's brow furrows in confusion. "Why-?" And then his face clears and he gives Michael an exasperated, but fond look.

"You know that I didn't mean anything that I said to you that night. It was just an excuse to make you angry, because it's easier to walk away when you're mad at me, but in case you need the reminder," he digs his fingers into Michael's hair and looks deeply into his eyes.

"I love you," he says and Michael feels the words hit him deep inside. "And even if you weren't the smartest, bravest, kindest person that I know, I would never be disappointed or embarrassed to call you my husband."

Alex doesn't look away, and Michael blinks at him, not knowing how to respond.

"But don't worry," he continues when Michael doesn't say anything. "I've been in love with you since I was seventeen, and it was you who I kept asking for while I was bleeding out in the desert, and it was the thought of coming back to you that made me strive to get better faster, and he knows that, okay?"

Michael swallows hard and nods his head before he leans in and kisses Alex hard.

"I love you," he whispers in the space between their mouths.

Alex smiles wide and bright, and kisses Michael again.