#there are also some great examples of her writing Es with five lines instead of three <3

[coquelicoq]

spent the evening with my siblings going through boxes of my sister's preschool and early elementary school effects and i need to share some of her spelling choices:

budrfli (butterfly)

stroberre (strawberry)

apl (apple)

orinj (orange)

peach (peach!!)

bnana (banana)

lemin (lemon)

grapse (grapes)

wodrmin (watermelon)

ovcdoe (avocado)

par (pear)

[oh-boleyn]

languages 101

Okay!! I did it!! I wrote fluff!! This is for @six-gifts-exchanges, and I wrote it for @enough-love-stories and I hope you like this!

Have some fluff with Cleves and Parr 💖

words: 2069, language: english. cleves & parr (friendship)

When Henry died, only two of his six wives were alive.

His fourth wife, Anna of Cleves, who he had divorced years prior but maintained a cordial relationship, even inviting her to court and granting her a castle for her own. And Catherine Parr, his six and last wife, who practically acted as a nurse in the last years of his life.

When they reincarnated, the two quickly bonded over being the “survivors”, even if only the final wife had the official title. They enjoyed each other's company, even when things got hectic in the house, they had each other’s back. Being the most relaxed queens left them the ones in charge to act as judges when chaos broke in the group.

Anna was close to Katherine too, happy to see her alive again. The fourth and fifth queens spent much time together, alone or with other queens tagging along. Taking dance classes together, eating ice cream, tea with Jane and binge-watching sitcoms were on their weekly schedules.

Parr had similar close relationships with Anne, after getting through the initial hesitation they were now usually seen together, discussing in French or talking about science. Aragon was another queen really close to the survivor, being her godmother, she had taken the role to take care of the younger woman, taking her into random trips to museums or other not-as-intellectual outings.

But still, the relationship between the second divorcee and the last queen was special. They had breakfast together almost every day, a really special moment for them to share what was going on. They confide in each other, knowing all their secrets and fears, having inside jokes and how to make the other feel better. If either of them had a problem, no matter how close they might be with the other queens, the first person they’d trust would be the other.

Tonight, the house was found with only both of them inside, having both been covered by their alternates.

“Are you in a mood for a round of chess?” Catherine asked, taking away her eyes from the TV.

“Yes, I think.” Anna responds, looking down. “I was actually going to ask you for a favour.”

“Alright, what’s up?”

“Can you teach me Spanish?” she asks.

A bright smile passes across Cathy, already shining with the idea of how to teach her best friend a language that she holds so close to her heart.

“Of course! Do you want to start now?”

Anna nods, and proceeds to say: “I will look for a pen and you go for paper.”

“You know me.” Catherine laughs.

Five minutes later they are sitting at the kitchen table across from each other. Anna covers the table with different pens, including some highlighters and glitter pens that belong to Katherine. Cathy has some white paper sheets, plus a notebook.

“I haven’t used this one yet, I wanted to save it for something important,” she handles it to Anna, “today is the day.”

“Are you sure?” The German queen wonders.

“Yes, teaching for the first time in something like five hundred years is a big deal, and teaching my favourite language to my closest friend is even more important.”

Anna accepts it. It screams Catherine Parr anyway you see it. The blue coloured front is no more than just an advance of the light blue pages inside. It isn’t squared, nor is it lined paper, instead it has dots all over it. The fourth queen appreciates it, the notebook is almost perfect for her friend, but still she decided to give it to her.

“Okay, first things first, persons. First person is yo.”

Cleves writes it down, her letter messy and cursive.

“Second person is tu.” Catherine indicates.

“Isn’t it vos?” Anna wonders.

“I mean, yes, but vos is used in only some countries, you can add it if you want to though.” Parr explains.

The go over all the persons, vosotros, ella, el, ellos, ellas. Once that’s finished, they pass over some common verbs. Yo soy, tú eres, vosotros sois, ella es, él es, ellos son, ellas son. They go quickly over explaining what eñe means, and how to pronounce it, which leads to the word cumpleaños.

“Try to introduce yourself.” Catherine offers.

“It will be a mess; I still don’t know a lot.” Anna contradicts.

“C’mon! I’m so sure you know your name.” The survivor smirks.

“Yo me llamo Anna of Cleves.” The German says, not sure about the language. “Yo tengo quinientos cuatro años.”

“Really, Anna? I am five hundred and four years old? Show off.” Cathy mocks. “Still, it was great, but you know ‘of Cleves’ is in English, like ‘Von Kleve” is in German.”

“So how is it in Spanish?”

“Anna de Cleveris.”

“Are you kidding me? That sounds… so not serious.” Anna laughs. “I refuse to be named that.”

“Whatever you say, Cleveris.” Cathy responds, with a playful look. “You can not change your name if you don’t want to. Catherine still uses Catalina sometimes.”

“She doesn’t anymore, not since Anne found that website that said that Catalina means poop.” Cleves reminds her. “But I think I will stick with ‘of Cleves’, at least for now.”

“Alright, now we continue, with for example ‘like’?” Parr offers. “It’s ‘gustar’.”

Anna checks her notes and before asking: “Yo gusto?”

“Yes, perfect. What do you like? I can give you the translation just so you can add it to your presentation.”

“I like music. And nature.” She stays thoughtful for a while. “And dogs, mate, I love dogs.”

“You can say yo gusto de la naturaleza.” Cathy explains. “Mi animal favorito son los perros.”

“That sounds like English I think I can manage.”

She writes it down, knowing that probably she is confusing S and Z, V and B everywhere.

“What was ‘dogs’ again?” Anna asks.

“Perros.”

“How do you write it?”

Cathy laughs, making Anna chuckle. Learning a new language was harder than she remembered, and it couldn’t be helpful how different Spanish was from German. Luckily for her, Parr was there to help. Walking to her side, she wrote in her distinctly calligraphy –a cursive that was maybe way too curvy, and distinctly renaissance-like– the word, marking the double R.

“There you go, linda.” She smiled.

“What did you call me earlier? A show off?” She parodies her friend.

“Oh, shut up!” Catherine giggles. “Would you mind if we take a break? I’m hungry.”

“Yeah, no problem.” Anna agrees, carefully closing her new notebook. “Do you want something specifically?”

“I was planning to do something quick; you should keep studying!” Cathy insists. “Start exercising in Duolingo!”

“I refuse, to ever, in my life, use Duolingo.” Cleves says, with a death look.

“Then keep practicing verbs. I have a dictionary in my bedroom.”

“I think I’m fine for now, I need a little break.”

They fall into casual conversation, talking about how excited they were for spring to begin, and different ideas for a summer road trip. They discuss their favourite places from the tour, and where they would love to be back.

Talking with each other feels natural, normal. They know each other's humour, how to make the other laugh. Friendships were not something they were used to in their past lives, everyone having an ulterior motive. Allies were not friends, and in court everyone was just that, nothing more than a power relationship.

“What made you want to learn Spanish?” Catherine asks, already serving the food.

“I don’t know.” Anna answers, trying to play it cool.

“C’mon! I know you have a reason,” she insists, “but it’s okay if you don’t want to tell me.”

“It’s just a silly reason, Cathy.”

“If it was you would tell me!” Parr laughs. “I keep up with your silliness all the time.”

“Rude?” Anna mocks. “It’s just that I wanted to make you happy.”

Catherine stops for a moment, processing the information. Cleves takes the opportunity to continue.

“I know how much you love languages, and you love to teach. I just thought it would be a good way to spend our time together.” She smiles. “I also think it can be fun, plus I would like to also speak in Spanish with Aragon at some point, I know how much nostalgia she holds to it. But I also don’t want to overstep, if that’s something just between you and Aragon then that’s alright but-“

Catherine interrupts her: “It’s really thoughtful of you.”

She leaves the plates, to quickly embrace Anna into a hug.

“You think so?”

“Yes! Really, it’s just an amazing gift.” She breaks the hug. “I know I can be a lot to handle sometimes with my ranting about random things, so I’m more than happy for you to get interested in languages. Nonetheless, if you want to stop learning I won’t get mad.”

“You are never a lot to handle.” Anna insists. “You are my best friend. And I don’t think I will want to stop any time soon, I like learning. Plus, maybe I can teach you German one day.”

“Maybe not now, I already get too mixed with languages.”

Anna laughs, conscious of how many times she would drop a word in another language while trying to speak English.

They have dinner while watching a Spanish show –Anna wanted to watch some sitcom that had been sitting on her list, but Catherine insisted on watching this show about time travel, plus “you have to get used to the accents, Anna!”–, laughing at their commentary. Before they can finish the episode, the queens burst into the house, tired after the show.

“How did it go?” Cleves asks, taking her plate and Catherine’s to the dishwasher.

“Tiring.” Anne says simply, falling on the sofa. “I fell during the Megasix, now my whole being hurts.”

“I hope someone filmed it! I was singing and didn’t see her!” Katherine complains.

“I did, it was funny.” Aragon laughs.

“Mate!” Boleyn protests.

“Anyway, girls, how was your night off?” Jane wonders. “What’s up with all these pens and paper?”

“Nothing.” Anna quickly shouts from the kitchen.

“It’s just me writing stuff, Anna was helping.” Cathy explains. “Do you want ice for your butt, honey?”

“Funny.” The second queen mocks.

The six queens stay talking for a while, before finishing eating and excusing to their bedrooms. Cathy takes the notebook and pens, and takes them to her room, aware that Anna apparently wanted to keep the secret of their Spanish lessons.

She decides to give the notebook back to her friend once the rest of the queens are already in their bedrooms, going slowly up the stairs, mindful of not making too much noise. Cathy knocks the door twice, before getting it, not bothering to get Anna’s permission.

“This belongs to you.” The writer leaves the notebook on the fourth queen’s desk.

“Thank you,” Anna smiles, “I just want to get better at it, before telling the others. I don’t want to feel rushed into learning.”

“I get it, we can be a lot to handle.” Parr laughs. “I also wanted to say thank you again. It’s been so long since I taught and I haven’t realized how happy it makes me. I was afraid that it might make me remember bad moments, but I actually enjoyed it a lot.”

“You are a good teacher, maybe a bit of a jerk though.”

“We already knew that, Cleveris.”

“Whatever you say, tonta.” She playfully replies.

“How did you learn that word?” Cathy asks, confused.

“Oh, Aragon once called Anne that. Kitty and I looked it up on the internet, she also called her tarada, but I think that one is a tad more aggressive.” Cleves explains. “Also, who doesn’t know curse words? I think it’s like the first thing you learn about a language.”

“Really Anna? That’s how you learn languages?” Catherine inquires teasingly.

“Maybe.” She giggles. “What’s your favourite word in Spanish?”

The last queen thinks for a moment, before responding: “I don’t know if I have one. But there’s one I like because I don’t think there’s a real translation of it.”

“Which one?”

“Querer. It means want, but also it means loving. It’s like amar, but I like the idea of a word that is mostly directed to friendship. Friends are really important.”

“Yes, they are.” She hugs Parr. “Te quero?”

“Te quiero.” She corrects.

“Te quiero, Cathy.”

“Te quiero más, Anna.”

[power-of-ages-writeblr]

11/11/11 Tag (22/11/11? Tag?)

Another one of these! This time, I was tagged TWICE by the wonderful @sassypandacandy (go read her books,, i love them). I’ve gotta answer the questions, come up with my OWN questions, and then tag 11 people to answer, only I’m not going to tag eleven people because I still don’t think I quite KNOW eleven people yet. Also, because I got tagged twice with two different sets of questions, I’m going to answer both sets in one post, and then just come up with eleven questions of my own, because it takes me yonks to come up with questions and I’m lazy. Eso si que es, y’know?

What’s the first thing you remember writing?

A four-page story about a Diplodocus when I was… definitely before I was ten years old. Maybe like five or six. I was very proud of it.

What’s the last thing you wrote purely for yourself?

Actually, I pretty much always write for myself, so the last thing that I wrote/started to write… ooh-er. That’d be the Warrior Cats fanfiction I’ve been working on. :P

Are you a WIP playlist person or a WIP aesthetics person?

Playlist, probably. I tend not to make playlists specifically for WIPs – instead, I’ll assign songs and soundtracks to specific characters and scenes – but I’m still better at throwing together playlists then making aesthetics LMAO

What’s a book you wish you’d written?

Uuuuh… maybe it’s just because I’m young (barely an adult), but I don’t have anything where it’s like “ah I wish I’d used that idea” or “wish I’d written this book”. I still have a lot of writing ahead of me, hopefully, so all my ideas I hope to actually get out some day. (Assuming that’s,,, what the question is asking me)

What’s your favourite book adaptation?

Ironic because it doesn’t follow the books that closely, but I love the How To Train Your Dragon films very much.

Which of your characters would you like to have a conversation with? What would you like to talk about?

The downside to Pandemonium’s Bane being filled with eccentric personalities and cooky characters means that there’s actually few of them I’d LIKE to have a conversation with, because most would be too dickish or too annoying for my tastes xDD That being said, I think me and Plue are on very similar wavelengths, and we have a lot in common (such as both of us wanting to write), so I wouldn’t mind chatting with her for a bit if I had to.

Which of your WIP worlds would you most like to live in?

The Power of Ages stories are mostly set in one universe (the Nimbus System) so I guess I’d have to go with that one by default. There’s Neil’s dimension, I guess, but it’s destroyed, so…

Have you ever written anything inspired purely by a song? If so, what song was it?

I haven’t written anything inspired just by a single song, but I HAVE got certain scenes or character backstories based off of songs, or even the concepts they’re based around. I have a whole battle between brothers planned out to the soundtrack that plays when Shifu fights Tai Lung in Kung Fu Panda, and listening to the Iron Man soundtracks helped me with both the conception of a new character and her placement in my roster (and yes, she does invent things and fly around, although there are also some major differences)

Have you ever written poetry? Do you still? Why or why not?

I… haven’t written poetry. And the reason for that is… I mean, I guess it doesn’t really jibe with me? Granted I haven’t considered it heavily, but it was always my least favourite aspect of learning English at school, and I just never fell in love with it the same way I fell in love with writing conventional narratives.

Who would direct an adaptation of your writing?

I ain’t big on directors, so IDEK. I guess in terms of the rewrite of Maelstrom (my current main WIP) I’d pick Sam Raimi, who proved with his Spider-Man films that he can blend fun superhero narratives with slightly darker elements pretty well.

How do you motivate yourself when you don’t feel like writing?

Mainly by having multiple projects to work on! That way, if I ain’t feeling what I’m working on, I can switch over to another one, and bingo bango, I can keep writing. (Hypothetically. Sometimes it ain’t that simple, obviously.) I also use music, and I also take advantage of being in situations where it’s like, I’d rather write then do the alternative. Do you know how much writing I got done in lessons? So much. :P

What scenes are the worst to write?

The ones that I haven’t planned out – sometimes I have very specific ideas for how I want scenes to happen, and I’m excited to get to them, but other times they’re just obligatory because there’s certain information I have to convey. That makes it a challenge to write it in a compelling way, because why should the reader care if I don’t?

What can you say is a thing you love most about your writing?

I’d say I like the dialogue/character interplay/narrative description-y sort of stuff. I think I’m good at giving everything levity, and keeping it breezy and entertaining even if I myself find the writing process to be a bit of a slog. Plus, it’s funny to read back over, and it’s also funny to watch my discord quote a line and then keysmash at it. :P

What is writing advice that you take to heart?

It’s from Aaron Sorkin’s writing masterclass – the idea that a story is defined by the main character’s INTENTION, the OBSTACLE facing them, and the TACTICS they use to overcome it.

How do you keep yourself from quitting writing together?

Honestly, it’s not like I have to try that hard! By this point I’m desperate to tell these stories that I have in mind, so I have a sort of innate compulsion to write because I wanna get it all out there. I’ll get back to you if that compulsion runs out, but for now, I see myself writing long into the future.

What is the strangest thing you’ve searched up on the internet for writing purposes?

Probably the capabilities of medieval-era people to recognise nuclear technology. (And for the record, the answer is “pretty low”.)

Not a question, but shoutout a writeblr (or multiple) that you think needs to hear that they are awesome and doing a great job (by the way everyone, you all are awesome and doing a great job. Keep it up.)

Well obviously I’m gonna shout out the person who tagged me in the first place – Kels. I await the final(?) book in the DOOT series with great anticipation.

Your OCs are trapped on a deserted island, what would they be doing?

I WANNA say they’d try and work as a team, but, uh. It may not go so well. Dante and Plue would probably be the most practical. Gaia would be good at grunt work but not focus on the task at hand, Rose would be functionally useless but good at moral support, Jacen would try to organise things but Gaia would just push him in the sea for jokes… I reckon they’d escape eventually, I suppose, but it wouldn’t exactly be a clean-cut affair, you know? xD

What is your biggest inspiration for your WIPs?

I actually have various inspirations – I think collectively my biggest inspiration is the MCU, in that it’s a bunch of interconnected stories set in the same universe about different characters and also there are superpowers. xDD

A habit you have when it comes to writing?

Not doing it (thank you writer’s block)

A fact about your world and/or characters?

I have debated killing of MANY of my characters, but have only actually come to concrete decisions one way or the other with a few.

If your WIP/s got turned into a movie or series, what would be the quote on the promotional poster or trailer?

Oh, I’m gonna do this for ALL the WIPs, this seems fun!

Of Encounters and Trysts – Two Hearts, One Soul (or something equally cheesy)

Hit and Run – Even the indomitable aren’t invincible

Maelstrom – Destiny Begins

The Destroyer of Worlds – One Case, One Team, One Superpower

Survivor – It’s every man for themselves

Savants – Not so different

Omnia Vincit Amor – Good things come to those who get traumatised

Cometh the Hour – Six thousand years from home

  Alright, now it’s (finally!) time for my eleven questiones:

1 – Does music help you write, or does it just distract you?

2 – What’s your favourite writing tool? A laptop? Notepad and pens? Quills and inkpot?

3 – Do you have to physically go to places to get a feel for them and feel as though you can set writing in them?

4 – What got you into writeblr?

5 – How well can your OCs dance, do you think?

6 – Do you have a favourite writing snack? If so, what is it?

7 – Bionicle. Thoughts?

8 – Is there a specific piece of media (movie, show, book, w/e) that you could say has been more of an inspiration to you than anything else?

9 – What’s the best soundtrack you know for getting pumped and hyped up?

10 – If you could only write one genre for the rest of your writing career, what would you go with?

11 – What’s your favourite music-based meme? (Examples include “LET’S GO”, “CREEPER/AWW MAN” and “We Are Number One But ___”)

 Tagging… @thelimeonade, and @dawnuchiha!

[woohooligancomics]

Webcomic Whimsy: Tales of Midgard

Welcome to the Woohooligan Weekly Webcomic Whimsy! I've given a couple of interviews in the past, but this is my first experience with reviewing. If you have any suggestions for improvements, feel free to leave a note. If you're a webcomic author and would like a review, you can see my announcement and review rules here.

Title: Tales of Midgard: the Age of Magic

Writer: Attila Polyák • About

Illustrator: Erzsébet Schlett aka Lizbeth von Rabbit • About • Patreon

Site: TalesOfMidgard.com • Facebook

Genres: Action/Adventure, Fantasy, Medieval, Middle Ages, Victorian, Anacronism

Rating: PG, T for Teen - some language

Updates: Every Weekday (Mon-Fri) - (used to be full chapters in 3-week intervals)

Synopsis: (from TalesOfMidgard.com) - Tales of Midgard is a collection of fantasy stories, mostly comics, set in the world of Midgard, which is not the same as in Norse mythology, but if you are vigilant enough you’ll find a reference or two here and there. While all stories are set in the same world, the actual settings for each individual tale varies a lot. Depending on the time and age of a story, the settings of some might be more modern than others. The “main” storyline, titled The Age of Magic, will be about the adventures of a young knight named Anne White.

As the authors described, Tales of Midgard contains very little reference to Norse Myth (despite the title), and in the long-run it reminds me a lot less of mythology and more of some sessions of Dungeons and Dragons. I managed to read a little more than the first two out of nine chapters, and while magic is mentioned with frequency, it's rarely seen (that may change in later chapters). What seemed much more common than the appearance of magic however was the appearance of modern ideas and inventions; trains, newspapers, democracy, modern capitalism with beauracratic corporations. From what I can tell, there are even approximations of "cell phones" and "the Internet". The main charater, Anne, is a knight, except that the title would be a misnomer in our world, since she works for a corporation instead of a monarch and her first two jobs are both illegal "smash and grab" operations. In our world, her title would be "mercenary". As a side note, the term "freelancer" originates from an old military term for mercenaries, "free lance" (that of course you pay for, after all, it's "free"). Anne is also a mage, although the first two chapters only show her working any magic once and very briefly. If you replaced swords with firearms and "info boxes" with flash-drives, this would almost be a modern action story.

I had a really difficult time deciding on the first image to display here. I wanted it to be either the best page I could find or the page most representative of the story as a whole... but I couldn't seem to find either of those, so I opted to use the first page. The difficulty finding a single page to represent the series is that the individual pages vary so wildly. I'll find a page that includes representative dialogue, but the art shows backs of heads, and then I'll find a page with better art, but it's a splash page with little to no dialogue or narration and it tells you virtually nothing about the story.

The story opens with Anne and Erik planning their first job, stealing an "info box" from several guards who are carrying it through the city of Kessheim. These are the kinds of planning sessions I remember from a slew of tabletop roleplaying games over the years. In a game session, this is part of the fun of the game, although I'm not sure it adds much to the comic. In some of the scripts for Return of the Jedi, the film included some planning scenes, explaining how the heroes would get Lando Calrissian, Leia and the droids into position inside Jaba's Palace before the ultimate rescue of Solo. Lucas cut those scenes because in the long run it was felt that they eliminated a number of surprises that made the film more enjoyable.

This is only the eighth review I've written, and already "focus on your pacing" is becoming a frequent refrain from me. It seems like pacing the story is one of the things that challenges most webcomic authors. The first couple chapters of Tales of Midgard tends to vassilate between pages with a lot of text, and splash pages with little or no information. A lot of text on a page can be forgiven sometimes if a situation really calls for it (lord knows that's something I've struggled with), however this story has a lot of pages where the extra verbiage that's added isn't delivering any new information. Splash pages can be great when properly and sparingly used to punctuate dramatic reveals and action sequences, however, several of the splash pages in Tales of Midgard seem to be splash for splash sake (or in Latin, splish pro splash es gratia). The page above is the second page of content, opening the story with two pages of Anne and Erik discussing the plan for their first job. The second page doesn't reveal much about it, just that Erik wants more reconnaissance and that he suspects it will reveal a more challenging task ahead. And then the third page is a splash page, just for Anne to repeat that she's preparing for the job (she already said so), while striking a heroic pose.

Heroic!

I'm ribbing them a little here, but this isn't really a huge problem. I'm just pointing out that the above page could have been entirely left out and nobody would have noticed, and that the first two pages of planning could have been one page with a little more editing. The opening dialogue for example reads: "Seems like we still have about an hour. Let's revise our plan, and after that I'm off to prepare for plan B." If this were a script for a movie or a TV show that might be fine, but in a comic you have to remember that dialogue can take up a lot of realestate on the page. That line could have read: "We have about an hour to revise our plan before I prepare for plan B." And that's before you consider the elements that aren't necessary because they're mentioned elsehwere in the script. It really could have been "we have an hour to revise our plan." ... Or in retrospect it could have been dropped entirely, since the reader doesn't need to know how long they're planning, just that they are, which is apparent from the rest of the art and script on that page.

Also, paring the script down would help the artist, who inevitably has to spend more time working on the comic than a writer does. Liz had to fit in a splash page, plus five panels for a minimal portion of the story. If the script had been pared down to fit onto one page, that could have been two to three, maybe four panels of art. I'm sure that would have been easier for Liz.

It turns out Erik's suspicions were right, the job will be harder than they thought.

There are two more pages of planning (a total of six) before the job starts. The pacing on the first page of the job is better, although I think the art jumps the gun on exclamation points and burst lines (I can't remember the western term for that effect). There's not been any action yet, this is still the "suspense" portion, leading up to the action. I would have used just two panels - the first with Anne entering and the second seeing the guards carrying the box with "there they are," and a background. As I said before about the pacing, these aren't huge problems, just areas that could use some polish.

Even here I'm not convinced we're quite ready for the dramatic splash page yet, although it makes a lot more sense on this page where she snatches the box than it did during the planning phase.

Honestly, I think the three bumbling guards turning into the Three Stooges is kind of a nice touch.

If I were writing, I might have started the entire story on the last panel of that page, with the guards already chasing Anne. All that talk of running down streets, and how many guards there were, and "plan B" could easily have been part of the narration during the chase. In fact most of it is repeated in the chase narration anyway, making most of those planning pages redundant. Starting here would have gotten the reader into the thick of the action straight away (just like the opening scene of Star Wars IV: A New Hope) and probably done a better job of holding people's attention.

The first "magiknight" appears right away, you can see him behind the other three guards in the last panel of the previous page. Anne confirms that's what he is on the following page after he's overtaken the regular guards and is gaining on her. The second magiknight appears immediately after and oddly decides on a WWE wrestling move instead of the kind of thing you'd expect from someone in full-plate armor... or a spell (remember, he's also supposed to be a mage).

But the most shocking thing on that page was the democracy! SHOCKING! Remember, peasants, the King needs your vote! Again, I kid, although it is another part of the overall theme of this world being modern day with a veneer of medieval or renaissance themes. That's the kind of atmosphere that I've found a lot in D&D or other roleplaying games because the players are never historical scholars and I suspect even for them, it's hard to put yourself in the shoes of someone who lived even sixty years ago, much less several centuries.

After Anne avoids the first body-slam, the third magiknight appears immediately, following a page of Anne wondering where they are, and showing a map of her run up to this point. (The map doesn't seem necessary.) Throughout the entire chase, the third magiknight is the only one to talk, and then only to call Anne a bitch (rather than "halt" or alerting the other guards).

(EDIT: I was wrong! I forgot the last magiknight makes the comment "what are you" when Anne stands up after he knocked her down.)

I suppose I should point out that most of the first chapter is the chase with a lot of jumping and swordplay. Although if Tales of Midgard is going to be an action/adventure story with a lot of fighting like this, Liz should probably brush up a little more on drawing action sequences. This one is probably the worst and I might not have pointed it out here except that it looks less like Anne is expertly dodging a sword than she is expertly dodging a giant penis.

Like I said, most of her illustration is better... although the page immediately following this sword swing is another weirdly placed splash-page.

My penis can shatter stone!

If there were a splash page in that sequence, I think it would have been better used on Anne's dodging the blade than on the aftermath of the miss.

And that's followed by a carriage that appears to be in the Matrix Loading Program instead of the street.

Anne gets past the carriage and points out that all the maginkights so far have been "brutes with no speed or accuracy". These guys are mages? Working in service of the monarch? It does get more difficult as there are now two of them ahead of Anne, which she expertly dodges again. (Plus, there's that background that was missing behind the carriage.)

The very last magiknight appears to have a fighting style that involves constantly being off-balance and occasionally presenting his back to his enemies.

He does eventually land a blow against Anne on another splash page (and a good place for one), although the art is rather confusing... I couldn't really tell what was happening here.

Apparently she blocked the blow, but was knocked back into some barrels (empty?) that broke open. The magiknight is amazed that she's able to stand after taking the knock, although I'm not sure that explains why he didn't have time to catch her.

So Anne is able to get to the water-mill for her much hyped "plan B".

Which turns out to be jumping from a high window into the river while wearing plate armor.

And then it's time for a recap from the magiknights. I'm not sure why their dialogue is suddenly an ominous white-on-black.

Also, many of these balloon tails are confusing, and black on a dark background doesn't help.

When Anne comes up from the water, we get our only glimpse of magic in the first two chapters. How many magiknights was that? Eight of them? And not ONE spell between them? Was the wrestling leap a spell?

The second chapter opens with our first real glimpse of the anachronisms; a train.

And another couple anachronisms; a newspaper and the Grand Archives, which from context sounds a lot like the Internet. A little work on the composition of that first frame could have allowed us to see Erik's head and fixed the problem with the dialogue that's causing those parts that don't have full balloons. (Although to be honest, I think full balloons could have been used there without causing any problems. They're done that way to reveal parts of Anne's armor that aren't necessary to understand the story.)

Oh, and a third anachronism in that page also; the corporate bureacracy of the Dyrian Knights Order. Magic is also treated in this modern way, with the characters discussing "units of magic energy" as often happens in roleplaying games.

I understand that there's a goal of showing the height difference between Anne and Erik on this next page, however, with a little work on the composition, that can be done without cutting off his head in the third panel. The first panel showing the stairs and the delivery sign isn't necessary. The second panel should have been in profile so we could see all three of the people speaking. And in the last two panels, Erik could be standing more behind her so that their heads are side-by-side in the shot, allowing you to get those two panels side-by-side instead of above-and-below.

The silent disagreement between Anne and Erik is a classic trope and a well placed joke. Nicely done.

The dialogue balloons didn't have to cut into Erik's head in the 2nd panel - you could have used the extra whites-space in the lower-left corner where nothing's going on. In general, don't cut into a character's head if you can avoid it.

"That's what I'm afraid of" is another classic trope, and I would say it's a fairly well placed joke. I'm personally nonplussed by the fact that it's perpetuating the negative stereotype of women as spending their money frivolously.

Honestly I think the backgrounds are sometimes the better illustrations. Although those lamp-posts and buildings look pretty modern. There's a lot of glass for even a rennaissance period and especially the top of the building in the back of the second panel looks like a modern office building. I suppose the lamp-posts could still be oil-based rather than electric, but the design aesthetic just looks really modern to me. To be honest that clothing looks pretty modern too.

This is the point at which Erik starts second-guessing the job they just finished. He brings up some of the things I was already thinking during the chase in the first chapter.

And now the lettering starts getting weirder. We see a bunch of places where dialogue balloons follow unnatural right-to-left reading paths and a few other issues that make it hard to know which block to read next, who's speaking, etc. Many of these problems could be resolved by pruning the script (like I mentioned before), improving the panel choices, composition and character placement. This page is crowded but not the worst to read.

Pardon me for a moment while I nerd-out on writing dialogue... If you write comics yourself you might find this interesting, otherwise, skip down.

I would have simply trimmed a lot of this writing.

In the first panel, for example:

Anne: Hey Erik! What's up.

Erik: I booked passage on the August Albatross tomorrow morning.

Anne: The expensive cruiser from Dyr to Ilial?

Erik: That's the one.

That's genuinely all the information that's relevant for the reader in this first panel. Having "everything we need" until they get home should be assumed -- the only time it should be mentioned is if they lack things or there's a question about resources. The second panel runs dialogue balloons for Anne and Erik together, which was probably an oversight, since I saw that same thing fixed on a later page.

Also, the rest of the page:

Anne: Woohoo! That'll be great!

Erik: Hope so. Also, Sir Alvis wants that yearly report as soon as we reach Dyr.

Anne: Uhh... Thanks.

Erik: You've got enough cash, you should fix your orb if you don't replace it.

Anne: Yeah, I can totally afford a new one. Good night.

Erik: 'Night.

On the next page, nice backgrounds with street-lamps that definitely look electric, since they hang down from above. Dialogue balloons in the 2nd panel that are round like they're spoken? But she's alone, and the balloons in the previous panel were cloud-formed thought balloons... but neither of them have any tails, and using the bubble-tails for both would have clarified that they're all thought balloons, whether cloud-shaped or not... but they really should be one way or the other, not both. If thoughts are cloud-formed, they should always be cloud-formed to avoid confusion. Also, when balloons are separated on a wide panel like this, left-to-right takes precedence over top-to-bottom, so the text in these balloons is in the wrong order.

More nice backgrounds the next morning. Some of the water on this page is particularly nice. And then the beginning of dialogue balloons that run the wrong direction (right-to-left), which could have been easily avoided by placing Anne on the left and Erik on the right while they're sitting there on the dock.

These dialogue ballons run the wrong direction again and again.

There's a couple of pages of elegance on the Albatross before they arrive in Dyr. Stepping off the ship, it becomes apparent that the "orbs" are cell-phones, and they even ring like a telephones. It turns out a few pages later that Anne and Erik's second assignment is stealing back the "info box" (flash drive) they stole in the first chapter. D'oh! Personally I feel like the plot ought to have started developing this kind of complexity at least in the second chapter if not by the end of the first, but as I've said, these pacing issues are pretty easily resolved.

I realize that I've offered a lot of criticism of the trade-craft of comic making here, however, those are all minor and to be honest easily resolved issues. I think this story has a lot of promise, it just needs some cleaning up. If you enjoy fantasy stories with roleplaying-game-styled anachronisms, it's worth a look at Tales of Midgard.

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Thanks! Sam