#there is a venn diagram with HLVRAI on one side and DDLC on the other

[creative-clawmarks]

There are some common tropes in HLVRAI fannon that get on my nerves, those being:

1. Benrey shows up on Gordon’s doorstep like a wet cat and domesticity scenarios happen.

and

2. Benrey learns that humans can’t respawn or regrow their limbs and he’s genuinely caused Gordon great pain.

And like obviously write whatever you want, im not the fandom police and I’m sure these have good angst potential or something, but I do wish more of fannon would engage with the actual themes of the series and dynamics of these characters.

Because Benrey couldn’t show up on Gordon’s doorstep, he’s trapped in a computer and there’s nothing outside of Black Mesa. And Gordon can respawn and fix his player model, he just doesn’t to maintain kayfabe. And I find that so much more interesting.

Because think about it. The physical stakes in this series are nonexistent because nothing that happens to Gordon in the game can have any real effect on his real self. But the emotional stakes are through the fucking roof because the existential stability of these AIs are on the brink of shattering and Gordon cares so fucking much about them that he roleplays super hard as a way to preserve the illusion and Benrey’s shenanigans jeopardize that.

And from Benrey’s perspective that has to be annoying because he knows that none of this is real, it’s just a game and he’s just messing around bro why are you freaking out over everything? Like I personally don’t even think that in the intended story of this hypothetical Half-Life VR game that Benrey is supposed to be this extra-dimensional threat, I think he’s just more aware from the jump and better at manipulating the game’s systems. He really was just using PAC3 for that final boss.

This dynamic fascinates me to no end and there are so many creative ways to expand on this metanarrative and it frustrates me to seen it get put to the wayside for plots I’ve seen elsewhere. Benrey and Gordon are not on equal footing with the rest of the cast and they are not on equal footing with each other and that’s so interesting.

This isn’t a story about some guy and his friends being harassed by an unknowable threat, it’s an ideological battle between an angel and a demon with everyone else getting caught up in the middle. And also they’re a little in love.