#there was another nerdhq panel that gave me the same kind of feeling about jensen

[cockelores]

maybe not relevant or interesting for anyone except me, but i keep thinking about the nerd hq panel from 2014 and one question that was asked there, so I’m making a little analysis post <3 i also briefly looked through some posts from that time, but didn’t see this interaction mentioned anywhere, so! here it goes

the question starts at 9:27 and the whole answering goes til 14:30. (I’d say it’s worth watching it play out in the video first, just to be able to feel this a little more, u know)

the fan asks: “what has been the best/most memorable moment and experience this whole journey you guys have done with the show?”

jared: oh that’s easy. no, it actually is easy for me, i met my wife on the show. uh, yeah, the mother of my two kids. so right, that’s easy for me. good luck guys.

then he gives them this look and jensen waits a second and (without looking at him directly) says “thanks jared”

at the same time misha starts answering the question: for me it was the first time that I - I- slept with [a short pause that seems aaalmost deliberate here] jared’s wife

jensen nods a little exaggeratedly and looks around, and idk if it’s just me but he has a weird, sort of far away look in his eyes? like he’s thinking hard about an answer of his own or something. mark jokes about how misha is the father of jared’s two kids then, and jensen looks like he only grins at that because everyone else is laughing too, not like he necessarily listened all that well lol

misha fidgets and grins and looks a little awkward, but he throws a very short glance at jensen before looking at the audience again

they keep joking about that a little more, “are we live again? I’ll be more careful” and about someone in the audience

then jared asks: what about you sheppar-......ackles?

jensen turns to him and looks kind of caught off guard, turns to mark who asks “who?” and back to jared again and asks “what?” himself. he seems a little unprepared, actually audibly gulps when he makes an attempt at answering, stammers a little and passes the question on to mark at last

idk about you, but to me it looks like ever since jared answered the question at the beginning, jensen has come up with a very similar answer in his head - an answer that he’s obviously not gonna say out loud. and he’s sort of struggling to come up with an alternative and seems like he’d rather just be ignored and move on to the next question.

anyway, there’s some short banter between mark and the moderator, and then misha picks up where he left his previous answer: i have to say for me, and I’m not gonna distill it to a single moment, other than the one that i mentioned earlier. 

jared interrupts and makes a joke about how it was probably just a single moment, everyone laughs (sadly the camera doesn’t pan to jensen, would have liked to see how he reacted) and some jokes follow, and misha never finishes his answer

mark then asks “what about you jensen?” and jensen ONCE AGAIN seems to have expected that he could have gotten out of this one without answering and says “what?” and somehow manages to pass the question on to mark again

[not relevant for this post at all but here are two gifs that i just wanted to include

ok continuing with the post]

mark talks about how he was bullied on set by jared (as a joke but also, it makes me feel very uncomfy if what he said is true (also now after charcon i wonder why he said he wasn’t pranked by jared? (or did he say that, i didn’t watch)))

and then, at last, it looks like jensen has come up with an answer! he talks about how directing his father was a memorable experience for him and finishes his answer like this: there’s been a lot of great moments though over the past nine years. and i would say the fact we can say it has been nine years is one of the greatest things of the series that we can say, so thank you.

very curious to know if he is looking at mark or at misha here (the latter is not looking back) but this conclusion to the question gives me a lot of “i have some amazing pebbles in my life [pats misha’s shoulder]” vibes

anyway, just looking at all of this through cockles glasses sure is something! at least to me! starting with jared’s answer at the beginning, i think he has every right to say what he said, because meeting your spouse has got to have a very very significant meaning to you, but it is inevitably gonna put the other couple in a weird spot. they might like to repeat what he said, make it even funnier by turning to mark and repeat jareds words like “good luck mark!!” but yeah, obviously not happening. 

but then what misha answers at first does seem to me like it is an attempt? like a joke that is funny hearing in the most overt way, him literally joking about sleeping with jared’s wife, but also like an inside joke between the four of them who can see the subtext of what he is saying. and that’s also why i imagine the very brief pause after he says “sleeping with” was deliberate, because perhaps he was intending to give them a short heart attack, like he was gonna mention someone else after that 😀

and then there’s the whole thing with how jensen is acting throughout this. if i try to imagine myself in his position, it feels so logical that he’s acting kind of off? because he does get put on the spot a little here. but this is all just about vibes and feelings here, idk!! it just makes me nod in a way, like yeah jensen, i get this somehow. the queer experience, one might say

I feel like i could say more, but maybe the clip also speaks for itself. from a cockles pov it’s all just.....sus