#there's a lot of gralex in this chapter...

[if-mirrormine]

📝 + happy

Kennedy lets her eyes fall away from you to Gralex. "I don't think I've ever seen that cat so happy."

[roomeight]

AO3 Fic Author Asks

What is your total posted word count on AO3? (Go to your Works, then click Statistics)

407,183 words 

How often do you write?

Every day, unless something else that sucks a lot of energy is going on in my life, like finding a job or another art project.

Do you have a routine for writing?

I write on my train commute in the morning and/or the evening riding home. I use a writing gamification site called 4thewords to try and hit a goal of at least 400 words a day—but I'm trying to train up to 1600/day for Nanowrimo. I eat dinner and then I usually write more. I have a bad habit of writing in the evening because I don't get a lot of free time and usually that's when my second wind of creativity happens. Usually I write on my phone because it's always there, but I like my laptop more because auto-correct is a B.

I used to go back and edit every time I open my doc regardless if I finished the rough draft, but I've found that really keeps me from finishing the first draft—yes editing can be a form of procrastination—so now I write the whole chapter rough and only then then edit. I'll obsessively read through it way too many times to make sure the cadence and pacing are solid before I transfer it to ProWritingAid for a second round of final editing, grammar polish, etc. And then I post it!

Lately I've been using an outline (one or two sentences describing the general scene I want to write) as opposed to pantsing it and I feel I'm more productive that way.

I'd say a good 70-80% of what I write is intuitive, meaning I'll set my characters in an outlined scene and have them riff off each other so it feels natural and like a real conversation...sometimes that leads me into unexpected and sexy places. Sometimes it derails me (like Graham making quips) and I have to pare it back, but the goal is that it sounds natural and not forced.

What are your favorite tropes/pairings?

Tropes: friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, sex!fluff, fics inspired by other classic stories *cough*Oscar Wilde*cough*

Pairings: Gramon, Jamion, Gralex (I read a lot of non-Blur stuff but don't write it really)

Do you have a favorite fic of yours?

I really like The Picture of Damien Gray, but I love The Selfish Giant the most because it feels more like...me? I don't know. It's very heady and nostalgic and melancholic like my visual art so I guess it feels truer to me? But I love TPODG a lot too because the AU is so much fun to write and it really frees Gramon up to be something more than canon allows.

Your fic with the most kudos?

The Picture of Damien Gray :)

Anything you don’t like about your writing?

The same thing I struggle with in my visual art which is, I'm very spare about what I put on the page, especially with details. Sometimes I love being minimalist, but other times I wish that I wrote more "flowery" language. I can't bother myself to write a lot of atmospheric details. But I'm attracted to writers who write simply and get straight to the point, so it's not really my taste to be flowery I guess.

Now something you do like?

Characterization and canon is very important to me. I'd like to think I write a good version of Damon and Graham. If characterization is ever off, or canon's off, it's difficult for me to read. I don't think my characterization of Gra and Damon sounds like them, but I never wanted to capture their exact way of speaking, just their personalities. Damon says "uhhh" and "sort of" about a million times in a sentence and whistles on his S's, but we don't need to read that to know it's him. ;) We know it's Damon because he's arrogant yet insecure, and confident yet anxious. And we know it's Graham because he's neurotic but sassy, and narcissistic but self conscious at the same time. And difficult. Both of them are difficult. xD

[if-mirrormine]

Finally Kennedy my beloved. That hug was so cute I’m gonna die

RIP gralex tho anjajajaj

i know her appearance was very brief but now that she's here, she's not going anywhere as long as you'll have her!

[if-mirrormine]

homecoming

summary: an alternative version to mc's return, where they go back to their apartment first before nora's house.

pairing: grayson x mc

word count: 940

based on the very old ask (bestie im sorry): not gonna lie, the mc showing up in grayson’s apartment like that sounds both hilarious and depressing and if you don't end up rewriting the first chapter because of it, would you accept a commission of a short of that scene?

**unedited**

grayson sleeps a lot on his days off. it's become something of a routine for him; he'll come home late from work, continue to pour over the case he and kelsey are currently working on for hours, doing anything to keep his mind occupied until long past midnight and into the early hours of the morning, only then will he go to bed and force his mind and body to rest. sometimes he sleeps the whole day, only getting up once or twice to eat something or go to the bathroom, but he almost always comes back to bed. he'd think of it as quite sad if it wasn't his own life. 

today he finds himself in mc's bed, staring at the ceiling with tired eyes. he's in here, in this room, more often than not, even though the room itself is enough carve out the cavernous void in his chest deeper and wider. at first he'd come in here as way to feel connected to them, and it worked then. but it's been ten years and the sheets smell like him now, and he feels lonelier than ever. 

it's past midday, the time slowly crawling towards three o'clock. he can't will himself back to sleep - he's tried about a dozen times in the last hour - so his mind wanders to what else he could occupy himself with. gralex stirs at the end of the bed, voicing her own discontent in a soft meow as she gets up and stretches before coming to sit beside his head. 

"i know," grayson says quietly as he reaches up to scratch her head between the ears, eliciting a purr from the cat. there's not exactly anything he's agreeing or consenting to, but over the years the cat has unwillingly formed a close bond to him and he finds that in the long stretches of silence that plagues the apartment, his voice puts the feline at ease. 

he decides that he needs to get out, leave the apartment without the purpose of going to work or the store. he needs fresh air and the serenity of having no responsibilities, no duties to attend to. he turns his head on the pillow and looks at the cat, her dark fur thick and soft between his fingers. "i don't suppose you want to come on a run with me?" 

she meows again and grayson takes it as a definite 'no'. he sighs, giving the cat once last head scratch before he throws the covers back and pulls himself out of bed. he stands up tall, stretching his stiff limbs when he hears it: the front door opening. freezing in place, he turns his head instinctively to the bedroom door and listens; the door being pulled shut, footsteps thudding on the wood flooring, the jingle of keys and crinkling of plastic. gralex follows his eyes to the door and at the sound of the intruder moving through the apartment, she jumps off the bed and bolts out the room. 

he curses quietly to himself and grabs his handgun off the bedside table where he'd left it, pulling it out the holster before very slowly making his way across the room. that cat is all i have left of them, he thinks bitterly to himself. if anything happens to her…

coming to stand in front of the door, he presses his back against the wall and peers around the corner, getting a clear view of the corridor and front door and finding the space void of both intruder and cat. over the years, he's learnt to move silently, unnaturally so, and he employs that skill now as he steps out of the room with his gun raised in front of him.

as he nears the kitchen, he hears the fridge being pulled open and he furrows his eyebrows. another step forward and he hears humming; a song he vividly recalls singing on road trips and when cleaning the apartment, a song he hasn't listened to in a decade. two more steps and he hears a voice; a voice that sends a pang through his heart.

it's not real, he thinks, i'm still asleep.

"gralex! my gorgeous girl, come here!"

he rounds the corner, the handgun now hanging loose at his side, and he watches in shock as the mc, all bright eyes and brilliant smile, bends down to pick up gralex. the thoughts cease, his blood halts in his veins; it's them. standing in his kitchen - their kitchen - looking as calm and as happy as if no time had passed at all. gralex cradled in their arms, they're a vision of the day he lost them.

he takes a deep breath and they jump at the sound, laughing when they see it's him. "jesus, gray; don't scare me like that!" their eyes widen suddenly at the sight of the weapon in his hand. "when the fuck did you get a gun?"

he doesn't say anything in response as he places the gun down on the counter, closing the distance between them. they place gralex on floor, straightening just as he comes to stand in front of them and they've just begun to speak, getting out a shortly lived "What -" before he pulls them into his arms. they don't question him further as they wrap their arms around him in return, perhaps sensing how much he needs to touch them, hold them, make sure they're real. and oh, how he desperately needs it. 

the time for questions will come later. for now, he simply holds them as tight as he can, trying his best to make up for lost time and knowing that it will never be enough.