i have an appointment in an hour but instead i am here waiting for dapg to upload
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So my friend @elianadiana1106 is known to say some weird things. Here are 200 of them:
1. Snow be gonner
2. Cars are weird. Its like a room full of couches that moves.
3. Ok. But what are mailboxes. Its like. A mailbox is a box that humans that dont know you will send you stuff. And its socially unacceptable to open someone elses box but why?WHY WHY IS THAT? WHY IS IT UNACCEPTABLE TO OPEN SOMEONE ELSES BOX?
4. Names. Are a random selection of words. Like hannah. Ellie. Alicia. Why alicia. Why.
5. When i was little i was scared of fences.
6. One time isa was chasing me with a toad i named him fred and she made me hold him and if i didnt shed make him pee on me.
7. Lockers are tiny closets
8. Why arent electronic library cards a thing yet
9. Sometimes i wonder what life would be like without cupcakes and i cry
10. Scary guys scare me
11. You know what should be illegal? Pinapple on pizza.
12. What are houses. Theyre like caves but not.
13. Bears are scary. Theyre like giant dogs with teeth and claws.
14. It was a car except it wasnt a car.
15. Not that i know what a crying cat sounds like
16. *puts glasses in mouth* *bites down* ow
17. Whats a brain tho. Its like a box but its not a box. Its an oval. And it has all of your memories and your conscience in it and if you hit it too hard you do.
18. What is the purpose of eyebrows. I dont see an actual use for them except making sure they are on fleek.
19. I was in my living room and then my brother came in and punched me.
20. Why do people have hair. Does it protect them from being cold or something
21. What if there are aliens on earth but they look just like look just like humans so we cant differentiate
22. Why do colors clash. Why do some colors look good together and others dont. What if my red is your blue.
23. What happens if someone eats a phone
24. *sings veggie tales song* that reminds me of swedish men
25. Is that a trampoline?? Oh wait no thats my reflection nevermind
26. Glasses are like hey whats up i cant see anything so let me just put up this piece of glass in front of my eye so i can see. And tadaah the glasses were born
27. *looks out the window* Oh hey such niceness
28. *hits her head on the window* im a mess *hits her head on bus seat* owwwwww
29. Someone is calling my name *looks up* is it you god??
30. Look its my favorite emoji because it reminds me of a gorilla (shes talking about this one>😤)
31. Bushes are like baby trees except they dont grow up
32. Speaking of scarring, The lion king made me cry
33. Why do people wear bright colored bookbags
34. Windows are like eyes into the home
35. Im twelve. Oh wait i lied no im thirteen.
36. I know how to Karate
37. Look im wearing fuzzy. Theyre the best of all pants. No other pants can compare
38. *is talking to Isa through a door* Well if yuh wanna talk to me, just pick the lock. Cuz apparently, you can do that
39. Mom wants me and mom is above you
40. I like busses. Theyre like catterpillars. Theyre long and they roll along
41. What if my chin had eyes
42. What id your eyes were your nostrils and your nostrils were your eyes
43. Im short. Kinda like a pudgy cupcake
44. Pigs are like cows except they give out milk.
45. Shut up and pretend im smart
46. Shut up and let me talk
47. *discusses the possibilities of rainbow snow* rain snow. Its like rainbow but its. Its smart appreciate it.
48. Help i need life alert
49. I rip out my hair for fun sometimes
50. Im pretty sure shes austrian. I dont know why. Just. Austrian.
51. Is this cold. *touches it* Oh yes very cold.
52. I know everything
53. Have you ever been a murder gorilla before?
54. Blue raspberry isnt even a thing. What are they feeding us?!
55. One time i ate a cat. But i didnt like it very much
56. I need to think of something funny to say. Becuase i like to make things funny.
57. So garbage cans are like portable dumpsters
58. What if theres a dimension where instead of there being people and it snowing, theres snow people and it rains flesh
59. Dying wasnt on my bucket list
60. so YOURE the one who ate MY pudding cup
61. Why are they called mason jars. Did mason design them? WHOS MASON? They should be called ellie jars. We all know that ellie is way better than mason
62. Where was the lightbulb invented
63. BEFORE you say anything. Do you remember Pinky Dinky Doo
64. Its like a freakin blueberry with a face
65. Dont bite your friends *sings* “Dont. Dont. Dont bite your friends”
66. I should be doing homework but instead im watching Yo Gabbah Gabbah
67. *sings the backyardigans theme song*
68. *sings the veggie tales theme song*
69. Do you remember junior the asparagus *starts singing moana*
70. So if i owned a pinetree, could i call it minetree
71. Red pandas are better than dolphins
72. *lydia starts talking* IS THAT YOU GOD
73. What if the firemen start the fires to keep them employed
74. Tic tac toe, pick one. One of them have to die.
75. Does derp and snerp rhyme
76. *touches nose to my phone* nose phone
77. Singing. Its just like stairs. I get out of breath.
78. One time i had a dream that i had to slay a dragon. It killed me.
79. One time i was walking my grandmas dog and a cat attacked me.
80. Are hearing aids glasses for the ears
81. Whats the difference between right twix and left twix
82. HEY LOOK THERES A DUCKY
83. Morgan is a russian spy?
84. What if you could take your eye out and see into someones soul?
85. Can fish drown? Like can they drown on air?
86. I had a dream where Logan got stabbed last night?
87. FIRE HYDRANT!
88. lions? I dont have any lions
89. Cinderella can go dig a hole and die in it
90. Thats sooooo ugly. Cinderella can wear it
91. I dont even like orange soda but i drink it because its sugar and i LOVEEEEEEE sugar
92. Oh no sweety those shoes do not go with that dress, unless youre Cinderella
93. I have a burning hatred for Cinderella
94. WHAT THE HECK IS– oh its me
95. Its time to listen to MY songs. Buckle up buddy.
96. If i was an animal i would be an irrawaddy dolphin. I am. An iraqaddy dolphin
97. Im DONE with this long hair. Im cutting it off.
98. Have you heard me sing? Thats not the sound of potential. Thats the sound of death
99. If you had a girl child what would you name her (i say i dont know). Youre right. Lily is a great name
100. HANDSTAND. No wait i cant do it i will break my neck
101. *makes the verbal sound for: “GAHSBXICIWOEBDKDIQ” *
102. Did someone say bork
103. What if four wasnt a number
104. *sings*: NOW YOU KNOWWWW WITH ELLIE YOUR DAILY INFORMATIONAL THING. YEAH.
105. Some people. Theyre like walls.
106. I didnt know its body fell off. Somebody shouldve given me a heads up.
107. *reads: I like trees* he better stay away from minetre
108. It feels like a worm entering my ear
109. I give up
110. You know how carter has 753 pens in his sock? That really SOCKS for him. Ha. Ha. Ha.
111. MAKE ME. oh wait you cant cuz youre on the other side of a locked door
112. SENTIENT TACOS ARE EVERYWHERE AND THEY WATCH YOU.
113. SENTIENT WALLS. I HAVE FOUR OF THEM.
114. I had a dream that i killed a man
115. Its just a wallet. His name is walley. NO ITS A SENTIENT WALLET. that makes cents HA HA ha. Ha. That was good
116. I look like a naked mole rat
117. How did different kinds of birds come to be different
118. Hes a manager. Hes really good at managing things. And apparently hes a certified scuba diver
119. I kill at wii baseball ‘kay
120. The Miis creep me out like hey im the mini you living in the screen
121. Im single and i know it
122. The next dude who comes near me i will punch him in yhe throat. I will conventiently make sure its seamus
123. NO. THERES BUBBLE WRAP BUT ITS TAPED TO THE INSIDE SO I CANT POP IT EFFICIENTLY
124. Its like waves… but its not but it is
125. *phone buzzes* SHUT UP
126. A stylis. Its like a pencil for you phone
127. SO MANY SCREEN PROTECTORS
128. Go buy some new jeans. You dont need SCISSORS SARAH.
129. My friends say im weird. But i dont really think im weird you know.
130. Hes so tall. Hes like a freakin giraffe. Hows the air up there buddy?
131. Why the heck and i cutting holes in perfectly good jeans. I dont even like jeans.
132. I have 67 cats at home
133. What did cave people paint with? Their blood?
134. dude it’s the perfect weather to play tornado in
135. MIKE WAZOWSKI
136. Grass. Its like tini miniature trees. Im not wrong. Broccoli is a mini forrest
137. Seamus has an empty cardboard box in his room and i stole it and made it into a spaceship
138. That girl looks like me. She just want “agh” and just. Same.
139. The blankies name is dora. Dont ask why. Not my blankie tho. My blankies name is blue. I slipped on dora when i had my laptop in my lap.
140. Cinderella deserves nothing.
141. Morgan is a russian spy
142. LOOK ITS AN OLD GUY. i bet he has three dead bodies in his basement
143. A flute. You can shove it down their neck. And when their wheezing for breath beautiful melodies come out
144. The ninjas house is a bit further down.
145. Its like somewhere over the rainbow
146. I was just singing the entire soundtrack because why not.
147. Why do cars come in different colors? But the same inside colors?
148. Is it spelled nartz or narts
149. These people on my street painted their house mustard yellow and I don’t like it
150. How dis clowning start. Like hey lets paint our faces paint and put on red noses and see if children cry. I cried. I cried very hard.
151. Reich rhymes with branch
152. Cinderella deserves nothig but death
153. What if george washington IS THE WALLS?
154. The bus driver starts the bus before i sat down and i almost fell on my face. Lets face it that wasnt very nice of him. HA ha ha…
155. Jail backwards is laij
156. Do i confuse you more than math because nothing confuses me more than math
157. *rants about lotion* *cries*
158. The pogo is a no-go
159. I forget that i tell people things and im suprised when they already know, like how. Did you read my mind?
160. OH I HAD THIS DREAM. It was an animal apocalypse and they broke my glasses and I woke up mad and confused as to why I couldn’t see.
161. I think that in the alphabetical world, that c and s are rivals
162. Is a sticker still a sticker if it loses its stick
163. Stickers can go a die in a hole with Cinderella
164. Do you think the ocean is just salty because the beach never waves back?
165. Hey look its Mr. Testa. Dont testa me. HA. ha..haha
166. I want to go to sweden to see if they have swedish fish factories
167. Doesnt Switzerland make pretzels? Or is that Germany?
168. What if the sky is purple…
169. Me: *sends ellie a photo of an owl saying hello friend* ellie: WHOO ME?! haha get it… I’m making owl puns? What a hoot!
170. Ha ha… man i made this *send photo of hawk* Hawkward…
171. i see you are not *send photo of emu* EMUSED.
172. I get it, my puns are…fowl. Fowl. Did that send twice? Oh whale, i did it on porpoise.
173. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing it just waved. Did you sea what i did there? Im shore you did.
174. I almost ran into my wood bed. That woodn’t be fun now wood it
175. Im eating a bagel. Bagels? More like Bae Goals
176. Shea broke and 'unbreakable bowl’. Its unbowlievable
177. I just made up an 'under the sea’ parody about chocolate milk. Help me.
178. What did the grape say when he got stepped on? Nothing. He just let out a little wine
179. I think there is a monster under my bed
180. *draws a cherry* I thought it was a berry good drawing
181. I think of eyebrows as two countries. Unibrows unite them.
182. Im hanging out with sally right now (her imaginary friend who is homicidal)
183. I WILL WALK THERE WITH DETERMINATION AND GET TO MY DESTINATION TO FINISH YOUR EXTERMINATION. I WILL GO TO MURDER NATION
184. Ya know when spies do a little camp thing to catch the bad dude
185. Newspaper is so confusing. Its like a thousand tiny paper books. Im trying to read it but is not helping me
186. *talking about the origin of pretzels*but whose the mother country that was like “hey lets make some dough wrap like this then sprinkle some salt then how bout some mustard”. Like who did that. it couldn’t been a collaboration of countries. did they hold a world meeting to think of new foods
187. Where the heck did cake come from. Apparently the Greeks invented cake, but according to food historians the ancient Egyptians invented cake
188. Hey my family just decided that our new safe word is 'Oklahoma’
189. I am certain that food historian is a real job
190. So apparently not all Catholic Churches have their sermons in Spanish
191. But apparently the actual Purple Heart is in Orlando
192. Apparently my friend Amanda almost pet a manatee today
193. THE PIZZA PLACE STOLE OUR PIZZA. I THINK. WE ORDERED PIZZA MUCH TIME AGO AND IT ISNT HERE YET
194. I was watching a show called Room on the Broom but it wasn’t very good
195. AND ARE STORES CALLED STORES BC YOU STORE FOOD THERE? OR IS IT CALLED A STORE BC YOU GET FOOD FROM THERE TO TAKE HOME AND STORE YOURSELF??
196. aRGG I JUST GOT TOOTHPASTE IN MY EYE
197. I hate snow white almost as much as i hate cinderella
198. I should get a star on the hollywood floor
199. There’s a ladder on your roof, you should get that checked out
200. I have ice cream. aaaand I walked into a wall
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