#they perhaps need a blankie and a hot chocolate

[inevitably-johnlocked]

I never interact with anyone. Sometimes i find myself with nothing to think of and only then i realize how lonely i feel even if i don't want to and it makes me feel bad. And in those moments i want someone to spend time with, without having to necessarily interact. It's just that doing stuff alone is better than doing them while feeling lonely. There is no people willing to spend time with someone who doesn't interact with them and i'm afraid i'll never find anyone to spend time with. Advice?

Hi Nonny! *hugs*

OH GOSH can I ever feel you so hard on this: 99% of my life is pretty much solitary, and the other 1% is me going to work and the gym. That’s... literally my life. I have no partner, I live on my own, and barely any local friends, and only see my family occasionally, so it’s a bit lonely, admittedly, but (thankfully?) I’m happiest being alone and I don’t mind it as much as most people. I too feel VERY alone in large groups or out with friends, and I know that’s not their fault, it’s just an introvert thing. I myself am a TERRIBLE conversationalist and have mild social anxiety, so I need at least a week to prepare to hang out with people. Again, it’s me, and it’s who I am and who I’ve always been.

I’m not really quite sure how I can best advise you on this, Lovely. Quite frankly I love doing things on my own: I can go in and out of a store, I can go whereever I want with no complaints, and just honestly not give a damn about anyone but me. On the con side of it though, it’s gradually making me a grumpy person, especially when things can’t get done RIGHT NOW when I’m so used to just having it all done right away because I DID IT.

And I’m going to let you in on a secret, Nonny: I have the same fear as you. I worry that no one will care about or want to be with me because of how “independent” I’ve become. But you know what, Nonny? So what: So what if I’m alone forever? Society unfortunately has painted a “loser” label on people who prefer solitude, who can’t find partners, who are socially awkward... the list goes on. But who are they to tell me that I’m not happy? You said in your ask that you’re happiest doing things alone; good. There’s no time frame or limit to when you meet someone. I have friends who understand me, and I have family that I like spending one-on-one time with. I find it a terribly fulfilling life. 

I see so many people spend their entire lives miserable because they hate their partners, or they’re doing stuff they don’t want to do, or they’re so hate filled because of what they’re told they have to believe, and honestly... they can keep it.

I’ll just be over here with myself and a hot chocolate and a movie and a blankie, thanks :)

In all seriousness, though, Nonny, I understand your fears, I really, REALLY do; we’re very similar in that regard. Something I’ve come to learn in my thirty-six years: Perhaps you’ll meet someone, perhaps you won’t, and who cares? When you get to be nearing your forties, honestly, you just don’t care what other people’s opinions regarding how you should run your life are. You’re a grown adult, it’s no one else’s business but your own. Relationships and / or families aren’t the end-all-be-all to a fulfilling life. YOU define what makes your life fulfilling, and you do it. But do try to interact with people occasionally ;) I know, it sucks, but it’s not healthy mentally or physically to be a complete recluse (just... trust me on this one).

This just came to me: Do you have a friend you can text while you’re out and about? Because it just occurred to me that I actually do this, and it makes my excursions a lot more fun! @yorkiepug and I constantly send each other snaps and chats about where we are and what we’re buying, and it’s just like shopping with a friend :) Perhaps this can help you feel less alone when you’re out, and it’s fun because you make the effort to look for really dumb things to send and giggle about :)

But if you are really honestly concerned, perhaps looking into some social clubs or activities in your area may be the thing to start with; going to public outings is a great way to meet other like-minded people, and you just may find someone who shares your love of solitude, or loves your solitude but wants to show you some new exciting things! 

Regardless of what you decide to do, Nonny, there’s nothing wrong with enjoying your “me” time. I think more people SHOULD take just ONE DAY to be completely and totally alone, and just allow themselves to do what they like to do without their S/O’s. 

Hope I helped you out a bit, Nonny, and as always, followers, I welcome you’re additions :)

[sanoiro]

I've never understood Lucifer's one night stans. They say it was the best sex they've ever had, but they never went back for more, never wanted to start a relationship. I don't understand.

They were not all of them one night stands but that doesn’t mean they were serious.The Britneys and Jana were women who were often in his bed. 

Now sex is not something that would persuade someone in a relationship. In Lucifer’s case, he did not use his lovers, in 2x11 we see that Lucifer was used like a boy toy for pleasure. I know it sounds harsh but imagine knowing that in a place you can get the best hot chocolate ever for free. Sure you will go taste it perhaps get back a few more times but that will not change how you feel about making your own cocoa at home…Lucifer was not seen as a boyfriend material but a good and conventional shag. In 2x11 we see that Jana was pinning more on Andy who sent her a booty call text than Lucifer for a relationship. As you perhaps have figured out in life if you want a boyfriend you will not start looking in the wrong places. Lucifer is a club owner with a *good* reputation but also everyone knows that he not going to be in a relationship when he can have a foursome. In 1x01 Lucifer told Linda that he is very habit forming a bit like heroin and indeed it took the woman eight episodes to break it off. But as you remember even Linda didn’t push for more but demanded them to have a patient-doctor relationship before they formed a close friendship in Season 2. 

In 2x11 we meet Suki Price who is obsessed with Lucifer but not in love with him. She sees him as an exceptional male specimen and sexualizes him. She even delivers the famous quote: “You’re my perfect man. Like porn and stuffed crust pizza and my Hello Kitty blankie all rolled into one. I’ve loved you from afar.”^^^Yet that is not a declaration of a romantic love but of lust, hunger and some inexplicable cuteness she sees in Lucifer. She does not see anything else aside from his sex partners and his clothes… But what all the above mean in order to reach a conclusion? Lucifer is always open on who he is and what people like about him is that without strings he can offer them a pleasurable night but Lucifer does not get attached emotionally and they can all feel that. Even with a player or other men they will play you into bed and target a woman or a man by wooing them somehow which may give mixed signals. Lucifer, on the other hand, comes forward and he tells you let’s have sex. He always explores and satisfies the carnal desires of his guests and lovers, but not their emotional needs because he sees only the basic necessity of a human body to engage in the act that offers him the closeness he craves for without the impending for him betrayal if feelings intermix.

As a result, how can you pursue a relationship with a man who never opens up emotionally, how can you love what you don’t know and most importantly how canyou love a celestial being which can bring out in the open your desires and not offer you nothing to love… I have a small theory that Lucifer is irresistible because his “power” can work on other levels as well but we know that when lust and desire are on the overdrive, love is not really there as sex is a biological need, love is but a parameter for the survival of any possible offspring. Is it covered, love? :)