#they really make us learn the exact same shit for 8 years. then ramp up the difficulty a bit in highschool

[immamapletreekid]

born to listen to silly little playlists and doodle silly drawings, forced to Dûf (a, b) = d/ds f (a + su1, b + su2) ∣s=0

[delaber]

Just Friends (Part 8)

Story Summary: After moving to America for a 3-month long internship, you meet two interesting characters on a boring night out.

Word Count: 4.6K

Pairing: Rafael Casal x Reader

Warnings: Alcohol, minor drug use, smut, slight dom!Rafa, swearing, and loads of British references (sorry not sorry lol)

Chapter Note: this chapter is dedicated to exrthangel because she’s honestly the sweetest thing ever and she’s studying so hard rn ❤️

Tag List: lonelydance mysearchforgratification ramp-it-up blndspotting summerofsnowflakes exrthangel honeysucklechocolatedrippin

Other Parts: See Masterlist

You had read the message over and over again ever since you had received it a couple of days ago: I have a surprise for Friday. Will pick you up at 6. Wear dark clothes.

What the hell did he have up his sleeve? Why the dark clothes? You were utterly confused as you on Friday afternoon pulled on a pair of black jeans, a black top, and your leather jacket.

At 5.55 pm, you were tying the shoelaces on a pair of combat boots when you heard Samantha exclaim from her seat in the window sill, "are you kidding me?!"

"Oh no," you groaned, "what is it?"

Samantha was looking out the window with her mouth hanging open when she suddenly started to laugh, "he has a bloody motorbike," she said in disbelief, "Where'd you find this boy? He's textbook American!"

You rushed to Samantha's side and saw Rafa on a motorbike, wearing an outfit that was roughly matching yours. He pulled off his helmet and flipped his hair before he started walking towards the front door.

"Oh, and he's cute up close too!" Samantha said as she studied him swagger up to your house.

You hurried towards the front door, calling out to Samantha, "I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

"Oh no! You do not get off that easily!" Samantha ran from the window sill and held you back at the door, "I am going to meet this guy who's all you've been able to talk about since New Years!"

You heard a low chuckle coming from the other side of the door, "aw, you tell your friends about that guy?" Rafa spoke from the other side of the closed front door, his voice sounding as if it was about to burst with happiness.

"Not when he butts in on private conversations going on behind closed doors," you mocked him.

You could hear him chuckle slightly before Samantha in one swift motion turned the doorknob and opened the door to a smiling Rafa.

"Ladies," he nodded to both of you, sending you a wink. You had to give it to Samantha; he did look particularly good up close.

"Rafa, this is my roomie Samantha," you cleared your throat, "Samantha this is... the guy I've been talking about apparently."

Samantha extended her hand, "Nice to finally meet you. I'm Samantha."

Rafa took her hand, "likewise. I'm Rafael."

"Your real name is Rafael?" it slipped out of you and Samantha sent you a weird look.

"Yeah, what'd you think Rafa was short for?" he laughed, his crooked tooth somehow more fetching than usual.

"I honestly haven't given it much thought," you laughed and he sent you a sappy smile looking at you very softly for a couple of seconds.

Samantha noticed the sexual tension and decided to break it, "well you two have fun, yeah? I won't wait up so don't bother having her home on this side of midnight. The magic won't wear off, I swear," Samantha winked before she let you and Rafa go.

"See you later, Samantha," Rafa chuckled as he stepped down from the porch.

'Stop that!' you mouthed to your grinning roomie before you followed Rafa.

You heard the front door close shut behind you, and first then did Rafa whip around, "are you ready for the best friend-date you've ever been on?" he said theatrically.

"You bet!" you matched his level of excitement, "although I'm a bit nervous as to what we'll be doing with that," you gestured to his motorbike, while dreading his answer.

"We're going for a ride," he said dramatically and threw you one of two helmets that had been lying on the seat.

"You're not serious... I'm not going on the back of that!"

"Do you not trust me?" He smirked as he climbed the bike.

"Of course, but..."

"Then get up. I'll go slow, okay?"

"Are you sure?"

"You're gonna love it!"

"O-okay," you said and swung your leg over the seat, tightening your helmet significantly.

"Just hold on tight, okay?"

"Hold on tight to what? There are no handlebars back here," you said in a panicky voice.

"Hold on to me of course," Rafa laughed.

Your arms snaked nervously around his waist, and he put a reassuring hand on top of yours for just a second before he took a deep breath and retracted it again. You couldn't help but wonder if this was the exact reason why he had wanted you on the back of his bike in the first place.

He turned the engine and slowly drove away from your townhouse while you whimpered in the backseat. He started off by slowly going through your neighbourhood checking on you regularly while you felt more and more comfortable on the bike. Every time he felt your arms loosen their grip around him, he sped up slightly, causing you to tighten your grab around his waist significantly. You were quickly comfortable with his full control over the bike, however, and actually had to admit that you were enjoying the fast-paced way of getting around the city.

"We can go faster than this," you bellowed over the sound of the motor a couple of minutes in.

Rafa didn't need telling twice and quickly sped up the bike while you squealed in the backseat, holding on tight to him again. You rode all the way down Sunset Boulevard until you reached the coast close to the Santa Monica Pier. The bike came to a halt right before the beach.

"That was amazing," you laughed completely high from the ride.

He smiled proudly to himself as he turned off the bike, "What did I tell you? I knew you'd love it!"

"I did," you said excitedly, "thanks for making me do it!”

He looked at you tenderly for a few seconds before he came to his senses, "come. We're going over here," he said and put a hand on your leather-clad back leading you to a sketchy looking hotdog stand, where he placed an order for two of the most popular kind.

"Really?" you asked him with raised eyebrows as he handed you one of the hot dogs.

"Sorry, I couldn't help it," he laughed as you sat down on a bench overlooking the dark beach, the sky a beautiful lilac colour as you had just missed the sunset, "I was hoping it might lead to the story behind your tattoo," he sent you a crooked smile.

"God you're the worst," you laughed at him, "Alright then - but I'll only tell you because that was a really smooth move. And I'm having a bite of the hotdog first."

"Let me know what you think," he looked at you excitedly.

"They're that good?" you laughed as you took in his excitement.

"Oh you're about to taste a tiny bit of heaven," Rafa smiled, "Diggs is quite the hotdog connoisseur and he recommended the place to me way back in the day. They have bratwursts shipped in from Germany."

"You have expertise in both chillies and German sausages? You're a man of the world, aren't you?" you teased him.

"Shut up and eat your hot dog," he grinned.

You took a large bite of the sausage which was definitely one of the best you'd ever had, "oh bloody hell! This is good," you practically moaned while rolling your eyes backwards in an attempt to show Rafa exactly how much you liked his choice of dinner.

"Hey, you cannot do that," he looked panicky as he desperately elbowed you in the ribs to get you to stop, "you're giving me the chubs," he shot you an awkward laugh.

"That's all it takes?" you laughed at him.

"Hey, I'm a simple man: I see a beautiful girl putting penis-shaped foods into her mouth all the while she's moaning and her eyes are rolling to the back of her head - and the rest is physiology," he smirked and bit into his own hot dog.

"I'm beginning to suspect that's the real reason why you took me here," you laughed at him.

"Hey, don't make me out to be some creep, okay?" He laughed, "I'm your innocent friend Rafa who just loves hot dogs and beautiful women - especially the two combined. Now tell me the story behind that tattoo dammit!”

"If you must know," you groaned, "I got it at Glastonbury when I had just turned eighteen. It was part of a bet."

"Really?" He looked amused, "What did you get out of it?"

"My friends paid for the tattoo and paid me a hundred quid for it - which was a fairly good amount of money back then," you laughed.

"That's what? 130 dollars or something? I sure hope you bought yourself a car with that kind of money," Rafa joked.

"I spent all of it on booze that night alone," you laughed.

"I probably would've done the same thing to be honest," he chuckled.

"So we're both smart people!"

"PhD-smart," he tapped his temple while winking at you, "speaking of; how's your project coming?"

"Good," you nodded, "although, I'm a bit behind schedule with the project I'm working on over here. The next couple of weeks are without a doubt going to be quite busy," you sighed, "I'm not going to have much free-time."

He grunted in response, probably aware of what that meant in regards to your already limited time together.

"I constantly need to remind myself why I'm here and why I'm even doing the project," you eyed him. You wanted to tell him that he had made it hard for you to concentrate on anything apart from him but ended up deciding against it.

"Yeah? What made you decide to do the project in the first place?"

"Because it's the coolest thing ever," you bumped your knee into his.

"Yeah?" He grinned at the contact, "what's your thesis about? Explain it to me as if I'm five because I don't know science for shit."

You laughed at him and told him all about what your PhD was about, explaining it as simple as you possibly could.

"Sounds complicated," he blew out some air when you were done.

"Nah. It's just like learning a new language," you shrugged, "you get the hang of it."

"How are you so nonchalant about almost finishing a PhD?" he laughed, "it's fucking difficult and you've worked hard for it. Don't play it down. Tell me how hard it is to come this far and how amazing you are at it!"

"It's hard and I'm amazing?" you said half-heartedly with a laugh.

"Oh come on. Do it with a bit more gusto. Don't go all British on me."

"Uhm... it's hard and I'm amazing," you said a bit more resolutely this time.

"Damn straight!" he said loudly, "a project like yours does not come easy to anybody. Don't take away your own victory."

"Alright, alright, I guess I did work quite hard. But I'm very privileged to even have the chance to do it."

"Yep, that's fine and whatever," he rolled his eyes at you "- Now tell me how you really feel about it."

You eyed him for a couple of seconds. Was he really able to see right through you so easily? "Okay," you sighed, "at first all the lab work was fun but now it's kind of draining and I cannot wait until I'm done so I can start something new!" you laughed, "also, right now I hate the project because it takes away my very limited time with you."

He looked at you and tried to hide a proud smile. "Look at you being all honest," he nudged you softly in the ribs and winked at you before he responded to what you'd said, "when are you handing in your thesis?"

"If all goes well, it'll be done before summer."

"And then what?" he nodded slowly.

"Ah yes! The million dollar question," you laughed, "I don't know. Maybe a post.doc?"

"You're gonna spend your whole life in academia?" he looked at you intently, "how much money do you have?"

"You get paid a fair salary when you're doing a PhD - and tuition is free in most of Europe so you can just go to another country and study if you don't have the money for it."

"WHAT?" he bellowed, "Tuition... is... free? You’re kidding! What kind of a hippie continent is that and when can I move there?"

You laughed at him, "European welfare, boom!" You said while dropping the hotdog wrapper into the trashcan next to the bench, "Europe 1 - America 0."

"You bet," he mumbled, "Ah, I probably wouldn't have lasted a day anyway. I got kicked out of high school, you know."

"You did? What'd you do?"

"That's a story for some other day," he smiled at you, "come, I have another surprise for you."

He helped you up from the bench and snaked his hand around your waist as you walked over to the bike in silence. You wanted to tell him that what he was doing felt close to violating your code of conduct but just like the other night, his hand around you made you feel safe and warm, so you let him keep it there.

You rode back up Sunset Boulevard telling yourself repeatedly that safety was the only reason for your tightly wrapped arms around his waist.

A couple of minutes later, Rafa parked the bike outside a brick building with a big sign reading 'THE ECHOPLEX presents CLIPPING.'

You could hear the music boom from inside. "Is this a concert venue?" you asked him.

"Yep," he said, "you and I have tickets for the hottest shit in L.A."

"Oh, don't tell me you're going to try and convert me into a rap-lover?" you laughed, "I haven't even listened that much to your playlist."

"I'm not going to covert you," Rafa smirked, "Diggs is."

"Oh, we're meeting up with Daveed?" you said not really sure if you were excited about seeing him or disappointed that you'd have to share Rafa with him.

"...Kind of," Rafa said mysteriously.

"I'm intrigued," you said as you handed him your helmet.

He put it on the bike and took your hand, "Come on, we're late. The show's already started."

He showed the bouncer two laminated tickets and handed you one of them afterwards, "put this around your neck."

"Backstage pass?" you arched an eyebrow as you read the inscription, "really?"

"I came to impress," he laughed, "you want something to drink?"

"A beer would be lovely," you nodded, looking at the stage where a man was rapping rapidly to weird noises and sounds. You weren't really sure that this was anything for you.

Rafa came back a short while later and handed you a local beer. "I brought you an IPA," he laughed, "I figured you'd appreciate my average white-male taste."

"I like IPAs too," you laughed, "this music on the other hand is..." your voice trailed off.

"What, you don't like it?"

"No, Rafa," you laughed and pointed towards the stage, "what the hell is this shit because it surely isn't music! Don't tell me that you actually find this good."

"You did not just say that!" he looked at you with an amused face.

"What?"

"Have you even seen who's performing?" he laughed whole-heartedly and pointed towards the stage.

The guy rapping shirtless at the front was spitting bars and hyping people up, and first then did you realise that you knew him, "Hold up! Is that Daveed?"

Rafa laughed at you, his hand coming to a rest on the small of your back as he leaned in and whispered in a teasing voice, "I'm going to tell him that you think his music's shit."

"You wouldn't dare," you leaned threateningly close and squinted your eyes at him.

"Oh, but I would - so you better behave," he said devilishly, his gaze wandering between your lips and your eyes, clearly thinking about kissing you. When you noticed, it once again took everything in you to pull back and turn towards the stage instead. Out the corner of your eye, you saw Rafa take a deep breath before turning to the stage as well with a somewhat pained expression in his eyes. He slowly found the rhythm of the music, head bopping in time with the beat while he started quietly rapping along.

-

"I can't believe he's a rapper," you laughed when the concert was over and you were heading towards the backstage area, "normally he looks so... innocent - but up there he's so... raw!" You laughed and felt the many beers that you and Rafa had shared.

"Easy girl," Rafa laughed, "don't go change me out for Diggs.”

You sent him a look that he most certainly was familiar with by now.

"I know," he chuckled, "just friends. That's what I meant," he lied, "come on, they're in here," he pushed open the door to the band's private room.

"Alright, guys!" Rafa yelled in best hype-man style as he waltzed across the room to the mini fridge in the back, walking as if the owned the room, "well done. Great show! Even my homegirl here agrees."

You waved to the three guys, "very nice show. Love the energy."

"Glad you enjoyed it," Daveed nodded, "Rafa mentioned that you don't really get rap music - did we manage to change your mind?"

"I think the show was really great," you said slowly trying to figure out a way to not hurt his feelings.

"It's not for everyone. I get it, no worries," he laughed, "Just don't tell Rafa; it would just break his heart."

"Hey - quick question," you whispered, "what do you think would rile Rafa up the most: criticising rap music in general or criticising his beloved chili sauces?"

It made Daveed chuckle, "hot sauce! For sure. Did you not hear his lecture the other day? He takes that shit very seriously and just goes on and on and on to anybody that'll listen."

"Who are you guys talking about?" Rafa emerged at your side, casually draping his arm across your shoulder as he handed you and Daveed a beer each.

"No one," you and Daveed said in unison.

"Are you plotting against me?" Rafa chuckled, "should I be concerned?"

"No," you both said at the same time looking excitedly at each other.

"Right..." Rafa pulled you just a little closer to him, clearly wanting to show his friend that he needed to know his place - subconsciously or not, you did not know.

"So... what do you guys usually do after concerts?" you asked, hoping to break the tension you felt in Rafa who was now pressed completely up against your side.

"We get high," Daveed laughed, "I was just about to ask..."

"Don't worry, I didn't take you here to get high," Rafa interrupted his best friend and sent you a smile.

"It's okay! If it's what you usually do, I don't mind."

"Are you sure?" Rafa shot you a look, "it feels like kind of a dick move on my part to meet up with a bunch of my friends and get high when we're on a date."

"I thought you were just friends," Daveed mumbled without looking up from the cone he was folding.

"He gets it," you smiled and sat down on the sofa next to Daveed.  

"Okay, sure," Rafa nodded and sat down next to you with a small laugh, "I guess I could get high too if you're definitely up for it."

"I am," you sent him a grin.

"Alright, let's do this," Rafa said and draped his arm around your shoulders.

"Oh god, I haven't done this since I was twenty," you were slightly nervous as you eyed the blunt that Daveed was now lighting up.

"So last year?" Rafa teased.

"Easy grandpa, I'm 29."

"Ah yes, so young and innocent. So easy to manipulate!" he sighed, "I remember when I was your age."

"And you're what? Four years older than me?" You arched an eyebrow at him.

"Yes, but the years between 29 and 33 are really what define you as a person," he smiled and put his arm back around your shoulder.

Daveed took a puff of the joint before handing it to you, "Here you go," he said, "It's strong so you probably don't need that much."

You inhaled slightly, resisting the urge to cough before you quickly exhaled a mouthful of smoke already feeling its effects, "oh damn," you said as you already felt yourself growing relaxed and careless. You quickly took your second puff before passing it along to Rafa who was clearly more experienced than you were. He puffed it twice as well before he passed it on to Daveed's band mate Will. You held out your fingers, ready for hit number three.

Rafa raised an eyebrow at you, "are you sure?"

"Yep," you said, your speech a little slurred but you were sure you could take it.

The third hit of the joint hit you like a truck, "oh fuck," you exhaled as you felt a wave of warmth wash over you.

"You okay?" Rafa laughed at you as he took hit number four himself. His eyes were bloodshot but apart from that, he kept it together.

"Yep," you said as you slumped on the sofa.

"You look like a slug," Rafa mimicked you, arms hanging to the side, his chin pressed tightly against his sternum.

"But a cute slug," you pouted.

"The cutest," he snickered, his hands brushing slightly against your knuckles before his fingers entangled themselves in yours.

"Mmmh," you hummed at his touch, all thoughts of what you should or shouldn't do, gone. You couldn't remember if you'd ever been this carefree and relaxed before. Especially when his thumb was caressing your hand as he sent you a cute smile.

Looking into Rafa's bloodshot eyes, you reminded yourself that you needed to keep your cool. You were both drunk and high. You shouldn't be doing this no matter how much you wanted it. So you retracted your fingers from his and sat up straight on the sofa. "I need a beer," you mumbled and walked over to the fridge in the far corner.

"Yeah, bring me one too," Daveed called, "- maybe an entire round. My main man Will is looking a little thirsty over here," he nodded towards his band member who was clearly experiencing cotton mouth.

You looked back at the men in the sofa and counted each of them; thus you picked up four beers and slowly walked back to them. Rafa was staring at you through heavy-hooded eyelids with a smug expression on his face. He was looking very very fuckable as he slid down further on the sofa, spreading his legs slightly as you neared him. You really just wanted to say fuck it all and jump him - but no, you weren't going to go down that road. You had made a promise to each other. A promise you intended to keep no matter how high you were.

You sat down a beer in front of each of the men before realising that you had forgotten one for yourself. Giggling slightly at your own high, you returned to the fridge where you bent over and picked up yet another beer.

"Are you on a mission to torture me?" Rafa's hush voice sounded from behind you, "because bending over like that twice in a span of thirty seconds is just plain mean..."

"What?" You turned around, now face to face with him.

He stepped closer, "I'm sure you're aware of the effect that you have on me. Especially when you bend over like that."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," you said innocently, an involuntary smile spreading slowly on your lips as you took in his pained expression.

"Fuck!" he hissed, "That - that - is exactly what I'm talking about," he stepped as close to you as he possibly could without touching you, "half the time you look so innocent and doe-eyed and then suddenly - boom - your innocence is replaced by these... mewling sex-kitten looks and fuck it's hard to keep my hands to myself when we both know what we want - Regardless of your code," he ended up sighing.

He still wasn't touching you but the way he was moving his face told you that he was fighting hard to not kiss you. And to be honest, you were fighting too.

"It's not on purpose," you said, looking up at him, "I'm not so evil that I'd dangle bait in front of you on purpose and then get angry when you bite into it."

"I don't care that you're not doing it on purpose," he grinned and licked his lips, "you're still doing it. And I really want to fuck you right now."

"Too bad you can't," you said.

"You're really strong-willed, aren't you?"

"You don't move half-across the globe for a project you've lost interest in if you're not strong-willed."

He leaned in closer, lips hovering above yours but never touching, "fuck, it's so hard not to touch you..." he groaned, "I hate being friends with you."

"I hate being friends with you," you said softly, almost giving in and closing the distance.

Your moment of weakness, however, was interrupted by Daveed who gave out a loud whistle to get your attention. "Rafa!" he bellowed, "Party's moving downtown."

Rafa grunted in response, turning his attention back to you, "do you want to go?"

"Not really," you said, gulping up at him.

"Me neither..." Rafa responded and fidgeted with the hem of your t-shirt, "do you want to come back to mine?"

"That sounds dangerous," you smiled and avoided his gaze, instead fixating on the thin golden necklace he was wearing.

"I won't try anything," he grumbled above you, "I promise - okay? We could just... watch the rest of the movie from the other night."

You looked up at him, his eyes bloodshot but soft as he watched you contemplate your answer. "Okay," you ended up whispering, already knowing that you were now doomed. You just couldn't help yourself with him. Especially not when high and with alcohol coursing through your veins.

Rafa sent you a smirk, "good girl," he whispered darkly, sending shivers down your spine. "Diggs, we're not coming."

"Right," Daveed nodded, "see you guys later. Have fun," he shot you a smirk.

Rafa quickly ordered an Uber while you pulled on your leather jacket and started walking towards the exit. Rafa was walking behind you, his gaze almost burning a hole in your jeans as you swung your hips a bit more vigorously than you normally would've done. Not to get his attention, you told yourself.

When you arrived outside, the car was already waiting for you. You both got in the backseat, and intentionally left the middle seat empty between you. No need to tempt the devil.

You hadn't driven for more than a couple of seconds, however, before you noticed that Rafa was already having a hard time sticking to his promise of not trying anything with you, "I didn't even get a chance to tell you how amazing you look tonight," he put his neck on the headrest and looked over at you.

"Thanks," you smiled at him, "you look very handsome yourself."

His hand twitched in his lap as if he had decided to reach out and touch you had but reconsidered at the last possible moment. With a sigh, he turned his head and looked out the window instead, completely silent for the rest of the journey to his place.

[d2kvirus]

Dickheads of the Month: October 2020

As it seems that there are people who say or do things that are remarkably dickheaded yet somehow people try to make excuses for them or pretend it never happened, here is a collection of some of the dickheaded actions we saw in the month of October 2020 to make sure that they are never forgotten.

After months of the Tory government fucking up their response to the Covid pandemic you would think that they’d have some baseline of competence by now, but no, it turns out that the Test & Trace program they were so proud of was nothing more than an Excel spreadsheet - an Excel spreadsheet that lost the data of at least 16,000 people, while also begging the question how they spend £12bn of taxpayer’s money on an Excel spreadsheet, to which the answer is...they didn’t, it was existing software, they just pocketed the cash

It comes as no surprise that proven liar Boris Johnson puts the blame on the rising Covid numbers in the UK on the public - because it's definitely not been his master advisor breaking the lockdown rules to pop to Durham with his family after testing positive for Covid on what just so happened to be his wife’s birthday, not the Tory government changing the rules on masks when Michael Gove was spotted in Pret Manger without one, and definitely nothing to do with cases rising significantly within two weeks of the double whammy of the Tory government saying children “must” go back to school and people must go back to work as they can now be fired if they don’t.  Definitely not their fault,  Not at all...

The approach of the Tory government to Manchester being upgraded to Tier 3 boils down to initially promising to provide the fully-costed £60m package that Mayor of Manchester Andy Burnham requested, only to turn around and give them £20m instead and try and justify it by saying it boils down to £8 per head for the entire population.  After all, if Burnham really wanted that money, he’d have been one of Dominic Cummings’ mates and completely unqualified for the job, as that’s the quickest way to open the purse strings as wide as he’d like

It was quite impressive that Margaret Ferrier came to the conclusion that, having tested positive for Covid while in London, obviously the best course of action would be to take a train journey 400 miles back to Scotland before self-isolating, because of course nobody else used that train

...although some of the Tory MPs criticising Ferrier really should have paused before commenting, mainly to check whether they were the ones vociferously defending Dominic Cummings for his 300 mile drive to Durham after testing positive or his subsequent drive to Bernard Castle to test his eyesight

Not only did the Tory government vote against giving free school meals to children a mere ten days after awarding Marcus Rashford an MBE for his work in trying to give underprivileged children free school meals, but they tried all manner of excuses to defend it best exemplified by Nicky Morgan saying she voted to let children starve because Angela Rayner called one of her parliamentary colleagues “scum”, while Twitter troll Ben Bradley claimed that people spent their free school meal vouchers in crack dens and brothels, before claiming he was “misquoted” - which is Tory code for “I have deleted that tweet, because I do not understand how screengrabs work”

Remember how Rishi Sunak has been presented as the human face of the Tory party?  I have to ask, since he decided to yank £1000 a month from Universal Credit payments, and for some reason the “centrists” of Twitter who have been lionising him for several months have been oddly quiet

The batshittery of the Home Office has now extended to coming up with increasingly ludicrous plans to prevent migrants, with the latest bright idea of Priti Patel (and don’t pretend it was anyone else) being to have ships in the English Channel using pipes to blow air into the water that will create waves to send them back to France - as if a dinghy wouldn’t just steer around the ship, or that they wouldn’t make Calais and Sangat the best surfing destinations in northern France overnight

...and it got worse when we learned that Priti Patel was informed that a knife-wielding man stormed into the office of a migration solicitor spouting the exact same rhetoric and injured the receptionist, to which her response was to double down on the rhetoric as if she and proven liar Boris Johnson weren’t inciting violence at this point

...which makes smirking cretin Priti Patel issuing a statement expressing sadness at a couple of child migrants drowning in the English Channel about as sincere and reassuring as a card from Harold Shipman expressing sympathy for the death of an elderly relative

Not for the first time Keir Starmer managed to take all the focus off the Tories and onto the Labour party with his moronic approach to running his own party, namely by suspending Jeremy Corbyn for the crime of...hang on, he actually hasn't said what infraction Corbyn committed by responding to the EHRB report into antisemitism in the Labour party, but he suspended him anyway

...while Lisa Nandy supported this by using a blatant strawman argument saying “There are some on the left” who believe blatant anti semitic tropes...blatant anti semitic tropes that she invoked in the exact same sentence as her obvious strawman argument

Suspected rapist Brett Kavanaugh has been busy using legal loopholes to try and claim that votes in Wisconsin only count if they were tallied up on Election Day and no day past that.  Because as we know, US Presidential Elections have often been straightforward affairs where both vote counts and recounts are always necessary, as Kavanaugh obviously remembers as he was working for George W Bush’s campaign in Florida after the 2000 election

How nice of the Tory government to use a parliamentary loophole to completely avoid allowing a vote on whether or not the UK should import chlorinated chicken, therefore enshrining both the importance of democracy and the importance of food safety standards - in the EU

Once again Keir Starmer seems to think “Opposition” means “Whip your MPs into abstaining”, this time on the Covert Human Intelligence Sources Bill, because as we all know letting legislation pass that absolves the police of any and all illegal activity is definitely going to win voters around

Good guy Rishi Sunak took the Tim Martin approach to worker relations by telling musicians to get another job if they were so worried about their finances - which not only ignores the fact that plenty of musicians do already have more than one job, but also begs the question why this same advice hasn’t been given to the landlords carping about rent holidays etc 

Not only did The Sun blatantly lie by claiming a photo of Jeremy Corbyn taken at a wake was at a “posh dinner party” as obvious rage bait for their knuckle-dragging readership, but it has to be asked where they got the photos from as they weren’t shared publicly on Twitter or Instagram

...although the Freudian slip by the BBC when reporting the non-story, calling Corbyn “the Labour leader”, not only sums up just how shit they are at reporting facts these days, but also underlines he’s doing a better job of rattling the establishment’s cages than Keir Starmer has

Definitely not a conspiracy theorist Julia Halfwit Hartley-Brewer claimed that the government are combining Covid numbers and flu numbers so that they could...anyone got any idea what the point of making this up was?

Instead of keeping Robert Jenrick locked in a cupboard until the whole “Getting backhanders which influence who he gives property contracts to” thing goes away (spoilers: it won’t) instead they sent him out to justify £25m to a Jake Berry’s constituency - to which he said it was fine, as Jake Berry gave £25m to Jenrick’s constituency so there’s no reason to say anything dodgy is going on

For some strange reason Dominic Cummings doesn't have to face any charges for his failure to pay £30,000 worth of council tax on a property he also broke planning laws to have extended.  Yes, there’s a reason I put this directly after the phases “Robert Jenrick” and “backhanders”...

The ridiculousness that is Liz Truss started the month proudly stating that post-Britait trade negotiations with the US would undermine Britsh farmers - and this wasn’t a flub, she genuinely meant to express this - and ended with the frankly baffling crowing from the Department of Trade about how “soya sauce” which was being sued by Great British Bake Off contestants would be cost the same post-departure thanks to the UK-Japan trade deal, which ignores the fact that most soy sauce is imported from China - also that paying zero tariffs on £100k of stilton being exported to a country with high lactose intolerance while Nissa, Toyota et al face no tariffs when importing tens of millions of pounds of cars a year is not what anyone should be calling a victory...unless they work for Nissan, Toyota et al, anyway

Convicted criminal Darren Grimes learned that there’s such a thing as “responsibility” when he learned that the police were investigating his interview with David Starkey for incitement of hatred, which could have easily been avoided if he was in any way competent or if he admitted he isn't a journalist - and of course, the usual voices of Toby Young, Laurence Fox and Julia Halfwit Hartley-Brewer all came running to his defence...and shut up when they were informed this ruling was introduced by Thatcher

Somebody should have explained to WWE that, when their move to ban their employees independent contractors from third party platforms such as Twitch already cast a remarkably negative light on their shady employment practices, they should ramp it up by demanding their employees independent contractors hand over those third party platforms and then out of the goodness of their hearts WWE would hand them a percentage of those earnings

As if Steve Baker describing himself as “the hard man of Britait” isn’t reason enough to include him, his demanding that the Church of England be disestablished if it doesn’t fall in line with their No Deal death cult certainly is

It has to be asked why Ross Clark saw Jacinda Ardern winning a a record mandate in the New Zealand elections so decided it was in his interests to write a Telegraph article claiming her Covid has been a disaster...you know, a country which currently has 0 cases and a total of 25 deaths since February.  It’s almost as if the thought of a left-leaning leader who hasn’t had a disastrous response to Covid being rewarded by the electorate has Clark worried for some reason...

Professional victim Laurence Fox has identified the biggest problem in modern society: Sainsburys supporting Black History Month.  Of course, it definitely wouldn’t be something like Laurence Fox calling anyone who disagrees with him a paedophile, that’s all part of a healthy society...

The latest idea of Tim Davie to make sure that BBC newsreaders remain compliant drones was to bring in a set of rules saying they are never allowed to state an opinion ever (no doubt aimed at Emily Maitlis, who did) and to ban that favourite buzzphrase of the right, any form of “virtue signalling” no matter how worthy the cause...except for wearing poppies, that’s still allowed, in spite being a clear example of this “virtue signalling” that Davie is banning

Complete and utter nutcase Dan Wootton is dangerous as well.  That’s both the entry, and also a quote from Labour MP Chris Bryant in response to him banging on about herd immunity as if he's an expert and not The Sun’s showbiz bottom feeder who has been elevated for no logical reason

Once again Laura Kuenssberg is quoting anonymous “sources” critical of the Opposition - meaning she’s either not a very good journalist as she can’t even name her source, or she doesn’t have a source so she's a liar.  Has anyone else noticed this is a regular occurrence with Kuenssberg yet?

How thoughtful of Manchester United and Liverpool to pitch a wonderful idea that the Premier League be reduced to eighteen teams, while also christening the concept with the definitely not Orwellian moniker of Project Big Picture under the guise of helping the Football League and not, say, easing their fixture lists by four league games per season.  Of course, they’re volunteering to give up their Premier League places, aren’t they?

Once again Isabel Oakeshott just had to be on the wrong side of a story, this time howling in outrage that an anti-lockdown petition with 15,000 signatures is being ignored - signatures including Harold Shipman, Bernard Castle,  Dominic Cummings of Bernard Castle, Dr Johnny Bananas, Dr Person Fakename, and last but by no means least, Dr Corona McCoronaface...

Former wrestler Joey Ryan is dealing with his wrestling career being over due to a wealth of allegations of him being a sexual abuser in the most healthy manner possible, namely filing lawsuits against literally anyone he can blame, be it the accusers, his former employers, or random people who call him out via social media

So far it appears Shaun Bailey is planning on winning the London Mayoral election with batshit promises to allow corporations to sponsor London Underground stations and change the names appropriately (which won’t be confusing for tourist guides...) and try and say that Sadiq Khan is at fault for fans not being allowed into football stadiums nationwide

Clueless grifter Tim Pool came up with a genius answer when asked why his “centrist” podcast only ever seems to have right-wing guests and that was to claim that his setup couldn’t handle remote interviews - which would make sense if a.) He hadn’t been saying how much money had been poured into his setup, b.) Zoom didn’t exist, and c.) We forget all the times he’s done remote interviews in the past

Your would think that Lars Sullivan would have learned to not potentially jeopardise WWE’s efforts to promote him after a combination of injury and also not mentioning him for months due to being a creepy bastard online, but no, as soon as he returned to TV he was being a creepy bastard to a yoga instructor - while using his official WWE Instagram account to be a creepy bastard

Not only did Alex Hutchison open himself up for criticism by outright stating that Twitch streamers can count themselves lucky that they don’t have to pay licensing fees to stream games and their careers would be over if they did, he also opened himself up for ridicule when his aforementioned idiotic statement led to Google seeing his Twitter bio and telling him that, no, he was not a lead designer for Stadia and needed to change that shit PDQ

Once again Arsenal showed their lack of understanding of juxtaposition, with them announcing their longtime mascot was being let go for cost-cutting measures - and then a few hours later announcing they’d signed a player with a £200k a week wage

Some faultless logic from Apple regarding the the iPhone 12: the box won’t include a charger or earbuds to reduce packaging...yet it cost the same as if it did, while also meaning people have to buy chargers and earbuds separately that requires far more packaging

To nobody’s surprise it’s clear that Kim Kardashian does need it explained to her that saying how haaaaaaaaaaaaaard it is to spend two weeks being screened and self-isolating so you can go to the private island for your birthday is galling most of the time, but outright disgusting during a global pandemic

Oh dear, it looks like Eric Trump tried being clever again asking how Joe Biden owns a house that’s worth $4m on his senator’s salary of $174k...only to be told that Biden bought the house for $185k, sold it in 1996, pays more than $750 in taxes and loves his son

And finally, testing positive for Covid, is Donald Trump - but he assures us that he is fine and definitely not a contamination risk having been pumped full of steroids and aborted foetus cells which are available to so many people, and definitely didn’t need a better Twitter password

[tinkdw]

Dean is bi, a succinct look over the seasons

I’ve seen a few posts about how if/when we get Bi!Dean (and Destiel) some people are worried others may cry ‘fan service’ purely because they haven't noticed it as a continuous theme through the 12 years of the show so far. So I just wanted to compile a few snippets showing that it has been there all along, it’s not a complete list as I would have to literally spend weeks doing this as there is so much material, but here’s just a few to get started!

1x07: So, it’s season 1, everything is just ramping up so the subtext is very sub... 

Dean rejects painting the college kid yet immediately picks up a skin mag (making it sexual), ignoring the actual mag whilst ogling the kid and noticing the point just above his ass that Sam missed? While Sam in an extremely NON sexual manner does the actual painting? Nice...

2x11: There is no way that scene in Playthings is not meant for the audience to notice and pick up on. 

We are supposed to pick up on Sam’s totally accurate and straight faced response to this and how Dean reacts, precisely due to it’s accuracy:

Sam: “Well, you are kinda butch, they probably think you’re overcompensating”. Sam is totally straight faced as this is exactly what he thinks is the case as is taking the opportunity to let Dean know that he knows.

source: @shixpe.  ��Meanwhile Dean’s face is like ‘shit... I’m that obvious?’

*TINK LOOKS INTO THE CAMERA* 

Season 4: Intro Cas. Now for the ramping up... Dean not so subtly going from small moments of showing himself looking at a guy occasionally or projecting onto Sam “how gay are you?” but now literally licking his own lips, staring at Cas’ lips, comparing them to Thelma and Louise, using his “last day on earth” line on him, I mean, ALL the Cas related chemistry that I won't even go into here, but here’s a helpful post that has just a few examples of Cas-Dean chemistry over the years which is totally different to any other variation of Cas-Dean, because, that’s love not just lust.

6x09: The one when Dean specifically, not Dean and Sam, is associated with fairies.

source: @spn-liveblog

Where they sexualised the fairies as naked ladies with nipples on show. Where it’s textually and clearly brought to the audiences attention in this same episode that most people associate fairies with queer men.

Where Dean probably “serviced” Oberon king of the fairies (an easy link to queer King Oberyn in GoT, who’s name Dean uses in 12x18 while Sam uses the very heterosexual Stark name).

Meanwhile Sam nicely and true to form, even soulless, stays resolutely heterosexual and bangs the hippie chick while throughout the whole episode in contrast to Dean is hitting on any woman that moves.

It’s not just that Dean is consistently associated with queer subtext but also how Sam is NOT that shows how purposefully this is done for Dean.

7x12: This episode follows multiple episodes with so much “Dean was is in love with Cas subtext” (Cas dying, the trenchcoat, Sam and Bobby’s reactions, Dean’s alcoholism and coping mechanisms coming out, 7x05: Dean projecting Cas’ betrayal and their subsequent lack of communication which led to Cas’ death onto the witch couple by getting them to communicate leading to their making out furiously... immediately followed by Sam trying to get Dean to talk to him about Cas, 7x09 “Cas, black goo...” etc etc etc... 

We have not only blatant Dean-is-queer moments:

But also the whole episode centers around an immortal who dies because they were in love with a Human who couldn’t forgive them for lying...

Then from 8 onwards we have more Dean / Cas parallels with canon romantic couples: Jess/Sam, Mary/John, Cain/Colette, Don/Maggie, David/Violet, Dean/Cassie, Chronos/Lila, Cacao/Betsy, Jesse/Cesar, Jeffery/his demon, Sam/Amelia, Benny/Andrea, Prometheus/Hayley, Dean/Amara, Ishim/Lily, Gavin/Fiona, Corbin/Michelle...

Ok so this isn't a Destiel post, it’s a Dean is bi post, but you know, at this point they’re kind of interlinked, because Cas has a male body from season 9 onwards, that isn't his vessel, it’s him, so there you go, have that too.

10x01:

You mean THESE triplets? The only twins/triplets in the bar? Where the guy behind looks like he's the additional triplet by his placement and his outfit being the exact in between of the who playing? The ones who Crowley was seen talking to again in the same episode? 

Either way, even if for some reason it wasn’t these particular triplets, cos you know, triplets are super common, it’s still heavily implied (and referred to again throughout seasons 10,11 and 12) that Dean had some kind of sex with triplets and Crowley, who “rubbed off all over him”...

On top of that, sorry to be crude, but we also have these moments:

“...well, you could...” *insert Drowley meta here*.

and:

Then, back to the less crude side, 10x16:

So.... Dean is sick of hiding behind his facade? Do you think maybe it’s time someone came along and helped him see that he no longer needs to hide behind this wall? For a whole two seasons subtext be based around showing that Dean is in love with Cas and also kinda doesn't mind pop music for example, is actually not quite the dude bro he makes himself our to be and has a facade up that stops him from showing it? 

Insert Amara. Whose name literally means Love. The expositional character of Dean’s innermost feelings, the extension of which is Mary, who ultimately leads to these feelings coming out after having been addressed for these two seasons...

Where an all knowing love - monster taking on her appearance tells him:

“I can see inside your heart. Feel the love you feel. Except...it’s cloaked in shame”. 

Where in the SAME EPISODE Dean tells Sam that he doesn't feel love for Amara. So who can this possibly be referring to? For whom might he feel love cloaked in SHAME based on the last 10 years of what he have learned about Dean? Where only two episodes before Dean is told by a “wise woman” (who in film always sees truth) that he is pining for someone. PINING, a term interchangeable with LONGING. With whom do we associate LONGING?

I mean honestly... like we need an exposition for what this is all about...

Meanwhile, if there were any issues with Dean feeling that Hunting and being queer are frowned upon they nicely insert an amazingly, fantastically, blatantly mirrored Dean/Jesse Cas/Cesar episode, even down to the brother focused story, the way Cesar and Dean click and interact so similarly to Dean/Cas and the shoulder patting being the most we actually see of them being romantic, I mean JEEZ:

And now if he needed to hammer it home even further:

I mean, I think he gets the picture... it’s nothing to be ashamed of now.

So now thanks to his own personal growth, all this and the extension of Amara, Mary, Dean has finally faced his past, his feelings and given his wall the metaphorical and literal heave - ho:

In conclusion:

1. Dean is bisexual. Dean has always been bisexual, he was closeted for so long, but after all this time and thanks to his being in love with one guy in particular and Mary’s role in his self awareness and self acceptance arc, now is more or less the perfect moment to come out... 

2. Dean met and over time went from lusting after to being deeply in love with Cas, who is now male, it is HIS body and he identifies with it as such, who has inconveniently right after this moment of final clarity for Dean, died what seemed to Dean to be a true and permanent Death while he screamed ‘noooo’, fell to his knees in shock and nicely paralleled two of the most doomed - romance canon couples in the show within 5 minutes (Jess and Sam and Cain and Colette).

Both sides of this have come to a climax at the end of season 12, I believe leading to things really happening now moving forwards... So this, when it all comes to the forefront is NOT fan service. 

It has been there all along, at first subtly, then growing, finally becoming core to the main plot of the character and plot based storylines until this point.