#they saw me ar my WORst like straight up the worst of tbe worst Times of my life yknow
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#i never go on my private ig anymore but i have some really close people on there like i know all the people on there since 2+ years and#they saw me ar my WORst like straight up the worst of tbe worst Times of my life yknow#and i see how everyone is like. sure they all have their own difficult things they're goikg through#bur everyone seems to have found irl friends and know to keep a healthy distance between social media and real life#and i want to be at a point in my life where i can also . do that. but i can't#i am so. terribly lonely and sad and i am already suicidal enough and i know i should like. learn to live with myself#but i am human... and i want friends and need friends. which is also funny cause. i can't even make friends LMFAO#like yeah i will make froends but i can't keep up with my friends and my mutuals on there also somehow. arw able to keep up with all theie#friends and i'm just like. how do you do that. and also how do you find irl friends that you truly love and more#i just feel so . stuck. and i wish my mutuals lived closer to me so we could all hanf out And Shit.... why are you all living#in BUTTFUCK NOWJERE!!!!!!!!! MOVE TO GERMANY NOW!!!!! FOR ME!!!!!#and i wish i wasn't on social media so much. too. it's rotting my brain#ughh. this will take a while. like. for me to feel okay about. and on top of that i have all these wants and needs but trauma is Fuckinf#shit up for me as well. Fun fun And Awesome And Kewl#maybe i'll go be productive. then sleep
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