#they were obviously so tired and hfhwhwjwgw | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

weenhands · 1 year

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thinking about how certain stuff with how i behave in romantic/platonic relationships is starting to come together and show a certain pattern... like how when i broke up with my first boyfriend which was online and rocky, robin reassured me and told me online connections usually end up going south because of how hard it is to maintain relationships on the internet. and how my friendship with her ended up super dark and depressing and difficult and suffocating only when i was worlds apart from her for two months... but ive never had problems with relationships until i started taking things online....im of course still going to make friends online but moving forward i think im gonna be more consciously aware of thisdjdjdjdjs because now i feel sad and i am grieving everytbing <3

#and now im sad about all of the things we could've been #if i had known about my shortcomings #this all makes sense like. i think i have issues with long distance relationships #and if i feel like for others its normal and fine but for me i think its. a massive big deal #when robin told me that after breaking up with my first boyfriend online i started looking into my older friendships/relationships online #and the stuff i fantasized about while with them #and i think this is even more clear with the way how i never have weird rocky relationships with people in person #and i dont have severe problems with tone with in person friendships #because i surely do on text and those were what kept the ship sinking too #and its weird when i was healthy and happy with robin throughout these eight years but #it became so terribly wrong and painful and i wanted to legit die when we were worlds apart #ughhhh #im noticing so so so much #and how even if * and * hurt me when i was with *#the fact that they were gone for six hours at a time because of work made it so painful too because #they were obviously so tired and hfhwhwjwgw #and. and now it makes sense why i get so weirdly jealous to the point where im nauseous #like Yea asher jealously IS normal but ur right. u know urself. u dont get jealous THIS BAD #and its bc i wish i could be normal like ur next significant other and have a healthy long distance connection #like its not that youre taken its that this never worked out but with someone else itll work out fine

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