#they're AGING they're FORLORN they're CHOKED UP and they WON'T ADMIT IT UNTIL THEY THRUST THEMSELVES INTO DANGER AGAIN! type beat

[jargyles]

stonathan - ten (give or take) years of purposefully forgetting the importance of saving phone numbers

stonathan sunday prompt by @stonathanweek | prompt: "what aren't you telling me?" | they're broken up, and it's been a while

"what aren't you telling me?"

jonathan is unamused by the way steve's smile drops from his face.

steve is quiet, arms crossed over the railing in front of jonathan's porch. it's strange, watching him close up after… everything. it's almost like watching a balloon pop; the rapid switch from full to empty, the sighing slump of his shoulders, and to jonathan, it's out of character for him.

"you come here, and you refuse to let me close the door in your face." still, jonathan insists on being told the truth. they're older now, they shouldn't be hiding hints and clues in each other's actions anymore. "you say things are 'messed up back home', whatever that means, and you-"

and still, after all these years, jonathan can't ever find it in himself to stay mad at steve, no matter the reason.

"i want to know what's up with you." jonathan's hands, which were raised and moving through each word as he talked, came back down. he crosses his arms too, eyes fixated on his porch light shining on a few strands of gray combed behind steve's ear. it hasn't been that long... has it? "can we just- talk about it?"

there was a point in time where steve was the one begging jonathan to be open, honest, vulnerable, even. as if the two of them thought of it at the same time, they both laugh shortly through their noses. jonathan runs a hand over his hair at how ridiculous this all is. the visit, the cold stare, the passive aggressiveness, the genuine joy he felt seeing steve harrington of all people at his door again. of all the things he missed about hawkins, one of them may or may not be the way steve would show up at his house whenever he wanted, unannounced, as if they had all the time in the world to be together. if they were still together, jonathan would find it romantic or spontaneous, but now he's just concerned.

steve looks back at him through a glance out of the side of his eye, and jonathan almost misses it because of his glasses. steve actually wears his glasses now, what the fuck, how long has it been. then he's shaking his head, as if he can't believe what he's about to say, as if jonathan has any grounds to judge him on.

"it's- i'm just gonna spit it out- it's the upside down again." steve is running a hand over his face, pushing his glasses out of the way, and jonathan's heart drops to the soles of his shoes. "dustin got me hooked on it, honestly, and now it's like- it's getting harder to, y'know, figure all this shit out by myself. kinda by myself, but you know what i meant."

"hooked on… what?" jonathan's eyebrows are drawn into a scowl.

"research, mostly." steve says it like it's nothing, like the very mention of that place doesn't make jonathan want to call nancy immediately. "hands-on research."