#theyre ares kids duh

[wolfblood-of-anubis]

love that in my upcoming au where house of anubis is filled with demigods, a child of the big three coming into this meant-to-be safe place for their kind, immediately is made an enemy by a daughter of ares, and the big three kid will eventually end up with a child of athena

its just so funny to me

[haveihitanerve]

GREGOR THE OVERLANDER IS AN ADORABLE BEAN BUT ALSO THE SASSIEST MF EVER AND IT NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED

Bro was literally just attacked by an enemy rat and when he discovers that that rat is in fact not an enemy, his first words are ‘get off me man’ as he tries to push said rat away

He cracks his bubblegum a second time solely to see ripred flinch

(I just realized a shit ton of these are gonna be with ripred because, duh, hes only allowed to be a kid around the rat and his sass only comes out when he doesn't have to protect boots or someone)

‘I know someone else who’s in trouble’ gregor please. You just woke up after fainting because a squid pulled your arm. Please save the witty remarks for another time

‘I guess shes smarter’ like damn son

‘Sorry to bug you- i mean bother you’ i know it wasn't intentional but thats just hilarious

‘Ill tell him you said hi. You know, if hes still alive’ okay i know this was way out of line, but it made me laugh so hard. I honestly am not that huge of a fan of hamnet (don't come after me its my opinion) and so this made me smile

When he does his sprint in the first book and ‘faked them out’ making the bats lose formation and riders struggle to stay on

'he felt around desperatley for a weapon. what did he have? diapers? cookies?" its technically him because its narrated from his pov so that hilarious

"said Vikus, as if that explained it all"-again, said from gregors pov so him being sassy. in his head at least

"The mighty warrior excused himself and changed a diaper.”

"Who was Simon? He had no idea.”

“The place did kind of resemble a locker room if locker rooms were gorgeous and smelled good.”-dude. this kid is my frickin hero

Also some honorary ares mentions because as bonds they are the same person-

In the labyrinth, come to a point where they can go three ways “lets go left” (these aren't the exact words but im too lazy to go look it up) that path circles back around to where they started “on further reflection i favor the right” that circles back round. Only one tunnel left “why don't you chose?” o.m.f.g ares. I love you sm

Also- delivering the bane to ripred: please don't tell me you've become attached to ol twitchtip. Ares: as far as rats go, she is among our favorite. O.M.F.G ARES! I don't think he ever exchanges another word with ripred. The only time he ever talks to the rat is to confirm that she is their favorite rat. Not him. Like- i love him sm

And when theyre training for the army in the last book and gregor asks, ‘have a good nap?’ and ares just responds, ‘all twenty minutes of it’ ashdfgsfhgenhvengh!!!!! I love this dork sm. 

‘You learn fast’ like ma boi-! But its so cute because it distracts gregor from his fear of being a rager and gets him to laugh and its the first time they act like bonds and its super cute

“Aurora and I go with our bonds,” muttered Ares- he could just say it- but no. he mutters. i adore this bat

Ares flew straight for the rat.- its not sass but like- yes

"get off my chest what?'' get it ares. teach gregor mannors haha

yeah thats all i could think of off the top of my head

[melissa-titanium]

ive already decided all the weapons for the bkids but i am unsure if i should go for 5thgen ONLY for the specifics or just . EVERY MH GAME  which would defintieyl expand my options a bit but theres like........ 500 MILLION Monstesr and therefore 500 M IL L IO N  AR MOR SE TS  and i wouldnt know whatto choose :(

but for the bkids weapons:

egbert: hammer. duh! don’t think i really need to explain this one, but shes the type to go utterly berserk once the monster’s been downed from a stun. has cleared the entire area of mizutsune, theyre all too afraid to fight her (hehe.. me) she lands a LOT of ko’s and is infinitely frustrated by the fact that you need to SHARPEN a HAMMER. WHO NEEDS TO SHARPEN A HAMMER??! ITS A HAMMER GOD DAMNIT

dave: longsword. again, duh! dont think i really need to explain this! anime loser boy, it feels appropriate. he’s the type to waste his gauge on helmbreaker in world and didnt learn till iceborne that theres more than one charge level on it. i haven’t played longsword much so i wouldn’t know a lot of the specifics but i think he would deliberately always go hit the head just to knock everyone else over cause hes a bitch like that :heart:

rose: this one is really tough, im stuck between dualblades, cb, and ig, but i think i have to go for db!

come on. shes totes a db user.

funnily enough she reminds me a lot of the stealth dango dualblades in rise ! i would say she’d use those but i have a feeling she would think they’re too silly.

again i havent played much of dualblades but i think she would be one of the More Sane dualblade players, she doesn’t roll down the backs of monsters that often and makes sure she gets the ACTUAL  most damage out of an attack rather than doing whats cool (same thing with IG cause i know aerial attacks aren’t that powerful! atleast from what ive heard)

jade: lbg and hbg! but dabbles in other weapons (especially hunting horn) as well. she’s one of those insane motherfuckers that sets down an affinity booster and goes ham. decimates the monster in 10 seconds flat then carves like nothing happened. great to grind with, but when you’re really just trying to have fun i feel like she would end up going too fast

anddd for the alpha kids cause i just thought of them

jane: gunlance or greatsword! gunlance is known for poking and.. i guess that’s like forkkind? i LOOOVE gunlance and even though im not really good at it its very fun to play and it reminds me of jane :D AND GREATSWORD!!!!!!!!! it feels like almost every greatsword user (except me im not cool) is either SUPER DERANGED or SUPER CHILL or like... BOTH but not in themiddle. like a combination AND SHE TOTALLY FEELS LIKE IT.  she would fucking KILL with strongarm stance in sunbreak she is the one person in the hunt to land SO MANY KO’S AND PARTBREAKS that it honestly becomes concerning. takes a long time to charge up (she thinks focus is an un necessary skill) but its always worth the wait!

dirk: again with the anime longsword boy. except he’s like..really good atit unlike dave. hes pretty humble about it for the most part but GOD FUCKING FORBID he knocks anyone over (which he does) (alot) . he never says anything but anytime theyre all grinding for decor he is telepathically urging them all to get flinch free just so he wont screw up their attacks. his favorite monster is scorned magnamalo and i should kill him for that but i wont. im nice

jake: hmm hes a toughie! i’m stuck between lance and sns (bowguns go without saying duh) lance is totally a Page weapon but sns is a Jake weapon...... maybe he switches between the two who knows! he tends to over-judge a monsters attack and block too early or too late half of the time and is a corner healer (i think thats the term. the people that huddle off into the corner to heal from an attack while everyone else is in the middle of the battle) but he means well! he does a pretty decent amount of damage but most of his skills are health/defense oriented and he DEFINITELY has earplugs.

Roxy: SWAXE, INSECT GLAIVE OR LIGHT BOWGUN. she hasd so many fucking mods i think either her pc blew up 3 times or she got banned from multiplayer even tho im p sure mods r allowed in multi  . shes specil. she totally got introduced to the series via stories 2 and is the MOST into it out of everyone else on this list. she probably knows how to hunt in every single weapon but just so she isnt flexing she only plays swaxe and ig most of the time.......... she is SUUUPER fun to hunt with

[venusqueens]

what do you love most about your boyfriend(s)?

ive been staring at this for hours trying to cut it down so ill just post it

both of them are such good dads ... i dont think this is the number one thing since they didnt have MY children until after i started loving them duh . but its so important to me and tbh its been a dealbreaker with guys who are bad with children so it deserves to be mentioned , and there are very few things in the world that make me happier than watching them interact with their kids (even the ones that arent mine) . some of my best memories are just from having a nap on the couch and peeking over to see my boyfriend (either of them) playing with the baby (any of them) when they think im not looking its so absolutely darling and my heart grows three sizes every time

also theyre both gorgeous and have huge tits and the sex is fantastic if that wasnt obvious. after this ill be talking about them separately (single player mode) and i will TRY to keep away from physical descriptions because basically you could show me a picture of them and i would go “i love this” and mean every single part

leon is the very rare kind of hero who truly just wants to help people , which is one kind ive always had a weakness for. hes one of the most selfless and compassionate people ive ever met , even though i know my saying this will activate his impostor syndrome its absolutely true ! he puts his life on the line for people he doesnt even know , just because they need his help . hes so gentle and well meaning that sometimes he cant even bring himself to be rude when he wants to , which is adorable . but hes also brave and a good fighter and i love his nervous energy when it comes to taking care of people and building relationships , hes so concerned with doing things right . he also does the cutest little puppy eyes like 🥺

ares is my heart, my eyes, my hands, the shore i throw myself against . the draw i feel to him , especially when im in his presence , i can only describe as gravitational, like planets orbiting each other. being near him is like trying to sleep on opposite sides of a mattress thats been worn down in the middle. you have to understand that choosing a few things i love most about him is so difficult because loving him is an inherent part of who i am and a fact of my life, undeniable and without reason . i love his passion ... there is a light and a burning heat inside of him that i can never resist and would never want to ! i love his skin , i love touching him , i love talking to him , i love his voice , i love his devotion ... all the temples built in my honor have never worshiped me as well as he does when he lays  beside me . he understands me at my core, and i like to think i understand him ... and hes very sexy when he crazy murders people

[jacobhpb]

questions 11 to 42 because i wanna see you infodump.

Hoo boy, here we go 11: fave alpha kid, well i absolutely love every single one of em, but ive gotta say jane, shes so good and she needs more love 12: fave alpha troll, as in like dancestors? joke answer is horuss, real answer is porrim. (double joke answer is aranea, haha funney cerulean beauty) 13: fave alpha overall jane 14: least fave alpha kid? pass, i love em all 15: least fave alpha troll? pass, theres too many i dont give a shit about 16: least fave alpha overall? cronus 17: fave beta kid has gotta be jade, shes just so good, she loves her friends 18: fave beta troll is probably terezi, but aradia and kanaya are also top contenders 19: fave beta overall is jade 20: least fave beta kid is another pass, theyre all good kids 21: least fave beta troll is a pass, its hard to pick from all the sucky ones 22: least fave beta overall? eridan 23: fave guardian, my fave is grandma english but ill also say dad crocker cause like duh of course id say grandma so ill throw you a bone 24: least fave guardian is bro, fuck that guy so much 25: fave ancestor is probably the dolorosa, but i love the whole signless crew 26: least fave ancestors are mindfang and dualscar 27: fave carapacian has gotta be sn8wman, love her 28: least fave is probs AR, nothing against him hes just not as interesting as the rest of em to me. least out of the named ones, but i dont think background carapace #32 counts as a proper shout for this question 29: fave friendsim is wanshi, shes a good kid 30: least fave, well i dont know much about most friendsims but probably that fuckface creep zebruh 31: fave sprite is probs davesprite, theyre the only one thats a proper fully fleshed out character. other than that i also love jasprose 32: least fave sprite is gotta be calsprite, but hes from the doomed timeline so probably ARquius out of the regular ones. (unless we count troll sprites in that case its spidermomsprite, fuck spidermom no matter what her form) 33: fave pale ship? dont fuck with quadrants much but jane and dirk are good moirails i think. gay/lesbian solidarity 34: fave pitch ship: idk vrisrose is funny sometimes 35: fave flushed ship, i mean theres a lotta em, lets say vrisrezi cause they deserve to be recognised as in heartsies and not diamondsies 36: fave ashen ship: ah yes, the fourth quadrant, *checks smudged writing on hand* horse baptizing. but for real tho idk like, clubs seems fake as shit but i guess that panel where nep is clubsies for solkat, that was alright lets go with that 37: fave vaccilating ship? idk, junerezi? look i dont take much stock in quadrants sometimes ill joke about pale shit but even then thats rare these days 38: OTP? honestly arasol. theyre best fucking friends and they love each other and regardless of if its romantic or not they care about each other so fucking much holy shit. thats my answer for 40 as well theyre the brotp and the otp 39: other than the really obvious shit, meowrails. fuck equius, hes a controlling shithead and nepeta deserves better 40: like i said arasol, but also the entire alphas group, they are all best friends who love each other and care about each other and yeah. alphas brotp 41 and 42: i literally cant think enough about quadrants to say which characters id want in my quadrants, i wanna be friends with lots of homestuck characters and kiss probably about half of them thats close enough to an answer