#this absolutely should be said thnk you so much for your contribution

[blackwoolncrown]

There's this huge misconception that transgender people take hormones to look like the other sex but honestly, losing my hips and getting facial hair are just bonuses to how much better I mentally feel from taking testosterone. It's like a mental fog has been lifted, I can think again, I can create again; hormones control so much of our mental self. However, I don't id as a trans man bc I am indigenous and my gender doesn't really align with the western binary. I hope this helps?

Well it proves my point, to me? Like, believe me, I absolutely already believed that HRT/GRS isn’t so much about a ‘swap’ as it is feeling better in your every day existence and how that affects A LOT of things and not just social sex/gender conventions- but that was kind of my point. Like I understand the idea that there are a lot of different ways to feel about gender, and a lot of different genders (as far as we use the term), which is why I don’t see why people are like, being so ugly about this whole dysphoria thing. I believe anyone who feels the need for HRT or GRS should be able to have it because like you said it affects so much and at the end of the day people should be able to do what they want with their bodies.

I just don’t understand this attitude that blames dysphoria for transphobia.

Like, it’s not dysphoric trans peoples’ fault that they need resources with a bigger urgency and it’s not dysphoric trans people’s fault that the western medical system is one that only fixes ‘problems’ and doesn’t really give a shit about preventative care or life improvement within the actual realm of doctors’ offices and referrals and shit. That’s the system. And yes, the system can change but right now, the deal is that a lot of trans people have dysphoria and it is life endangering. So, triage: the medical system needs quantifible metrics to classify dis-ease (please people stop flipping out about this word) in order to treat it (because that’s how our medicine works, it’s not holistic and it’s not preventative and we hardly want to help you until you’re maybe dying) and dysphoria is a measurable quality they can tick off the list.

Instead of fighting the idea that ‘being trans is a disease’ (which is absolutely NOT, at the end of the day, what’s being suggested since dysphoria is what’s being treated and dysphoria isn’t an identity) why can’t transgenderism and dysphoria be linked? Because while it might be arduous to present a concept of another gender orientation that doesn’t experience dysphoria, it seems so gross and unfair to have this big often angry push to say that dysphoria has nothing to do with being trans.

What about the many trans people for whom dysphoria is a big hurdle, day to day? Because when I used to see a lot of that discourse idk it seems like people are unfairly throwing them under the bus just because they’re understandably frustrated with cishet doctors.

Again I feel like this comes down to language and its barriers in terms of the western medical field because like you mention, there are more genders than what the western binary understands and instead of trying to force those genders into the western binary irt trans identities maybe we should like, expand beyond the binary? Not like that’s not already being suggested…

Transphobia is obviously alive and well in every aspect of our society but as I see it, the main issue blocking access to trans resources from non-dysphoric trans people is (again, transphobia BUT ALSO) the fact that our entire medical system is non-holistic and focused on treating things once they become ‘problems’. We don’t like to help people until it’s too late. 

Example? I have hormone problems, but nothing extreme. I exhibit signs of PCOS but standard test results say I’m ‘fine’ even though the ultrasounds I’ve had confirm that my ovaries are home to multiple cysts one of which is like as big as my entire ovary. However if I wanted to see a hormone doctor for my apparently ‘mild’ complaints (bc again my blood tests don’t show that my testosterone levels are too high bc they’re ‘in range’ and our system refuses to acknowledge that, you know, everyone’s fucking different and it also really blows at addressing ‘female’ bodies) of persistent adult acne and hirsutism, both of which are disfiguring and the latter I’m sure has contributed to me being called a ‘he-she’ in public bc I’m black (another point for being masculinized by society yay) and ingrown hairs leave scars on my chin, yay (I also have a fairly low voice for a woman and hardly retain any sub-q fat bc I’m just kind of high testosterone over all), it’s $900 just for the initial tests, not even treatment, because I don’t have a big enough ‘problem’ and at-will hormone care centers aren’t, as you know, covered by insurance. I can’t tell them “I’d feel better, be more confident and experience less social anxiety if I could get my hormones balanced out”. Instead I just make sure I wear a cute wig when I go out and kiss the idea of being able to just…wow…wear my actual face out in public without knowing people are seeing all my scars goodbye.

I’m probably also infertile the same way my mom was for a good chunk of her life, but luckily for me that’s irrelevant. However, now that I thnk about it, if I brought that problem to a doctor they’d probably fucking help me bc they’re ~so keen~ to help the cishet breeding cause.

I hate our medical system.

You have to have a problem before they’ll treat you. Why? Because our medical system isn’t about health, it’s about  money.

So discourse around dysphoria/lack thereof in terms of medical resources just always seems…left field to me because it’s like, refusing to acknowledge the greater reality of the system and how it has to be worked.

This wassss super tangential, lol. Anyway thanks for sharing this though bc it’s personal info and I respect that. My bf had a similar experience mood-wise and I’ve heard a lot of similar things, a least where testosterone is concerned.