#this audio plays over the distant sound of screaming as a frizzy-haired and portly middle-aged woman outruns a boulder trap

[ganymedesclock]

A mirror universe Indiana Jones: a passionate herpetologist traversing the deepest, most forgotten regions of the globe in their lifelong pursuit of exceptional reptiles, cataloging them and studying their life cycles. Somehow, they inevitably get embroiled in politics and power struggles involving ancient powerful artifacts and lost temples- all of which are absolutely horrible for the endangered anacondas and pythons that very sensibly moved into the temples while they were lying dormant.

Their endlessly beleaguered rallying cry: "why couldn't it have been snakes?!"