#this background is a clusterfuck of many different images

[zanukavat]

got that dawg in me

[sudriantraveler]

The Development of the NWR

So first of all, Happy New Year everyone! I actually want to start this year by poking everyone’s brains for a bit of a RWS discussion.

What is the Transition Period of the NWR? As in, what time period or series of events do you consider to be the most significant/impactful in the the NWR’s development from chaotic dysfunctional clusterfuck holding on by a bootlace and a prayer and shambling around in the rough approximation of a railway, to still very quirky and chaotic but it is actually a functional railway?

My answer, or at least my current answer is below:

Honestly, the NWR’s development might be a bit too gradual to point to a specific time period as being the most significant, but if I had to pick I would say the late 30s and early 40s.

I remember seeing a post by @mean-scarlet-deceiver, I believe it was this one, which briefly mentions how in the mid to late 20’s there was some notable factionalism between the engines of the NWR’s fleet: you had the “big engine trio” of Gordon, Henry and James, the “old guard” of Edward and Thomas plus new recruit Percy, and the “bully club” of 98462 and 87546, as well as several other engines, including the remaining pre-NWR holdovers, who would all probably have been somewhat divided into various groups and factions.

It would have probably been during the Second World War that these dividing lines would have either blurred or in some cases disappeared completely, with the much more fully encompassing identity of being North Western Engines taking their place. War is above all horrible and destructive, but as a side effect it can also be a hell of a force for unifying and strengthening national and cultural identities.

During the war, there would have been a lot more work with much less down-time and even less regular maintenance. Engines would have been coming and going much like when the NWR was being constructed back during the First World War. Not to mention there would probably have been several War Department engines arriving on the Island who, while they would have been a significant help to the NWR’s overworked locomotive fleet, their constant attitude of “for King and Country” and “doing your part for the Crown” might have come into conflict with Sodor’s independent streak. Sudrians fought hard and made plenty of sacrifices during the war, but they don't take kindly to outsiders telling them what to do. All of this instability would have led the NWR’s engines to circle around each other, and from this would have emerged the idea that “Yes, while we all come from different places and backgrounds, we’re all Sudrians now! The NWR is our railway and home, and we’re all one big found family!” The engines would develop a much stronger sense of unity during this time, and this would serve them well in the post war years, especially during nationalization.

This was probably also a very important time period for the individual development of many of the engines. As a few examples: Henry around this time probably really embraced his new-found strength and confidence following his rebuild, with he and Gordon pulling some of the heaviest and most important trains on the railway; Edward probably pushed himself far beyond his mechanical limits, trying to avoid being left in the shed again, which is probably what led to the worn out state he’s in by the time the events of his book roll around; and I image Thomas would have further developed his deep rooted sense of responsibility and loyalty to his branchline and the people who live along it around this time (as an aside I wonder if this is when Thomas first became friends with Mrs. Kindley).

As for 98462 and 87546, if you believe them to still be on Sodor at this point, there’s a lot of different directions you could go with them. Maybe their bad behavior finally catches up to them and they’re relegated to lesser duties on more out of the way parts of the Island. Maybe the hardships of the time period prove to be the slap in the face they needed to begin to reform. Maybe they split off from each other, one reforming and trying to become a better engine while the other doubles down on their bad behavior. Or maybe they both leave Sodor entirely. In any case, probably the biggest source of toxicity within the NWR’s fleet is either greatly reduced in strength or removed from the equation entirely. Which would again be a big step in the railway’s development into a far more functional and healthy social environment.

To keep this from getting too much longer that’s where I’m going to end. Again, I want to try to spark some discussion with this post, so please reply or reblog with your thoughts and opinions on what time periods and events were the most significant in how the NWR developed overtime. I’m very excited to read them!

[scratchingoutlet]

Characters

There's a lot you can do just by basing a character off a word, it's concept. I been imaging characters like that, for a long time. Somewhere in elementary school to adulthood. I kept their characters and expanded them over the years. I explored and have them grown beside me. I don't write about them, but I imagine them a lot and well there's plenty of years of thought, real thought and care put into them. I just haven't put it into writing yet.

For instance, Value. What does it mean to be valuable, what happens if you see Value. Sentimental, financial and everything else. To truly see value from start to finish, even if it's just as draining resources your valuable to drain enemy resources. Or a gain of sand can be combined with other grains of sands to make something great. Nothing's priceless, but everything has value. Negative value, well value is value. No matter if it's hurting everyone around you, to being a saint, beyond below and between.

To be seen by an Eldritch God Concept of one of three nameless races and be considered valuable. To know your all worth something, of course just remember nothings priceless even your soul. So beware. I think it's wholesome from a way, but also Capitalism.

These conceptual beings, that are their own beings. How much is them and how much the concept, after all a concept can't really have feelings. I consider them paradoxical.

There's also how they work. And the other two races. There these things they call incarnations to others, but it's simply lesser and greater of themselves. Not simple, but I been imaging them for a long time so it's easy for me to get. So there's many of them, there all still the same being and some of the incarnations have managed to become their own people, but that's not what I'm talking about now. So there's many on them to capitalize on different parts of themselves.

Honestly there's way more I can go into. I have over a decade of experience with it all. Sure I created new ones, and it has changed but by the time of middle school I have become consistent with what there are. Still the core concept has always been well not quite a focus, but an important part of the background.

Anyway, I just wanted to talk about how much you can take one thing and run with it. That and talk about my creations. Of course, there are many other things that have been added and discarded, still while it might not be much with just one, when you add things you can greatly extend these things.

I also even have consistent character designs. Realized lore. Honestly, I think y'all should go back and see how much you can extend your stuff from childhood with your ideas now. Who knows you might make a beautiful clusterfuck, or just have a fun time.

[delusion-of-negation]

hope you get well soon <3

thank youuu 💙💙💜💚 tbh I might as well ask if anybody has any idea what it might be, since that symptom checker was so unhelpful (it can not be carbon monoxide for many reasons, like firstly I'd be dead by now, secondly I have that thing where you can't smell gas well, like loads of people have it, so they make things a bit like smoke alarms but for gas, and so I've got one)

a brief run-down of what's happened:

a couple days before any of this, I was laying in a weird way for alone time, and I slipped and it was only about an inch I moved but it twisted my neck funny and hurt a little, but then it was fine so I didn't think anything of it (still doubt it is related, but it's worth noting since years ago I had whiplash and that makes it easier to fuck up your neck again in the future iirc)

thursday I fell (this time sorting pets, and then got stabbed in a non-piercing way by the cage thing in ribs) and injured my side, I had a bit of trouble breathing and moving but doubt it was bad enough to break anything or whatever

saturday I fell again in the same way and so my side got worse as a result, but not agonising

sunday evening I saw something I have a bad phobia of, and had a panic attack, but not at all the worst panic attack I've ever had, like not in the top ten even, and I gradually calmed down

monday I started getting anxious and irritable, incredibly so, couldn't do anything but listen to angry music while curled up in a ball for most of the day, but there didn't seem to be a focus, like I wasn't anxious about anything specific

monday evening I started getting really dizzy, worsened substantially by moving, but not as bad as the time I had a really bad infection in my kidney or something that spread to my ear and for a week I needed to be escorted since I literally couldn't stand up from the vertigo

tuesday the dizziness continued and I became incredibly nauseous, with only one break long enough to eat a few jaffa cakes (images of any gross things don't usually make me nauseous, but atm I can not look at any), otherwise food is absolutely sickening to think about, but the anxiousness thankfully subsided into just sort of a background depression and malaise, that pain in my head was a very weird sickly numb sort of feeling all over, like a concussion or like a migraine but sound/light didn't affect it at all

tuesday evening I became really dissociated or confused, my memory was choppy and I kept getting my words mixed up, but honestly it felt better than the depression, not sure if that was the result of painkillers and anxiety meds, tbh I described it as feeling like a background npc in somebody else's life but in a good way, calmly, but the pain also eased temporarily overall, but was a much more intense "normal" pain in the back of my head and lesser across the top

since sunday night I think, as I said earlier, I've been having more vivid dreams than normal (I usually get vivid dreams anyway), in these I'll often feel really sick, and I just feel really odd

the dizziness is like I'm leaning off something I could fall from most of the time, sometimes so low I'll barely notice it, but when I move it can either spin wildly or go wobbly and disorienting

my prevailing theory is that it's all just my brain doing a psychosomatic clusterfuck because of the stress I've been under, with an anemia flare up in second, mild ear infection in third (that is an explanation of why I've been falling over so much prior to today, like if that's caused by this not visa versa), a migraine that just wants to be special and different to my normal ones as my fourth guess, fifth that I injured something the times I fell, and sixth I'm not totally ruling out a carbon monoxide theory because that's funny and also my gas meter has been playing up, so if anyone knows any way to rule things out it's chill to let me know (can't go to my gp, they're slimy cunts, and don't wanna go to A&E unless it gets so bad I'd be willing to risk covid for it)

[cadcnce-archived]

@psychcdelica​ sent:  Would Katelynn adopt Sae as her sister? Does she like her? When can they meet??

I really need to find a proper FC for Katelynn, I’ve got an idea in my head of what she looks like but I’ve flopped on a definitive image aside the one I sent you. And even that changes in my head.

I don’t think the image you have of Katelynn in your head is a proper one. Even if she’s Wylan’s brother, they’re very different in regards to outlook, personality, and sociability. For example, Katelynn is very introverted when compared to Wylan and has borderline social anxiety. She isn’t quick to trust people and there’s some damage she’s still dealing with as part of her upbringing. The girl had to raise herself from middle school, with Wylan helping as he could after he had graduated from high school.

Given this is when he started his work as a contractor though, working the dirty jobs there was only so much time. He supported her money-wise, but there wasn’t like a foundation of teaching. Their grandmother had taught her a lot (since she was and still is a very curious person) before she passed, which happened when Wylan was around 18 and Kat was 12.

From there, Wylan is pulling strings and forging documents so that she doesn’t get tossed into a foster home. False guardian (who was a contact and friend of Wylan’s) who she... didn’t care for, but didn’t hate either. Katelynn keeps to herself because she’s wary of opening up to other people. With how their parents disappeared and how her brother had gotten pulled into shady business she has some grounds for the apprehension.

She is not going to be the type of person to ‘adopt’ Sae as a family member when her own was already so testy and unorthodox. It’s another way in which she differs from Wylan, in which she’s not looking for ‘surrogate siblings’ or parents or the like. She wants (and has many) friends who will be there for her and respect her space at the same time.

At the point of the timeline where Wylan is post-incarceration and working, he’s like... what, 28? 30? It’s a couple years post-main verse. So Kat is 22/24, and has finished her undergraduate program and going for her master’s. She had thought Wylan to be dead (or soon to be given death row), dealt with that trauma, and then he’s back in her life again- it’s not going to be a simple cut and dry thing. She’s wary of how much he’s ‘changed’. Wylan was not a huge part of Kat’s social life, he isn’t frequently involved with her friend circle.

This is a clusterfuck of background and timeline I haven’t visited in awhile, but I also need to put out there that despite all this, she won’t HATE or DISLIKE Sae. Just please don’t expect a situation where she’s a bubbling girl ready to embrace her as an ‘onee-chan’ or something of the like. It’ll be a slow process.

@psychcdelica​ also sent:  I forgot to add, how much does Katelynn love Seina? v important info

I think we’ve talked about this before? But Seina is like... an alien to her. There’s the whole timeline of double-takes: Wylan is alive. Wylan is working a clean job as a detective. Wylan is dating a lawyer in a serious steady relationship. Wylan is then presumably married. Wylan has a kid. It’s a lot. A whole lot. She had never ever expected to be an aunt, and she and her girlfriend would probably start allowing their lives to overlap more and more from that point on. I think that’s where things can finally, finally start healing.

[tearlessrain]

time to subject myself to Dracula: The Dark Prince, aka another bad movie starring another dude from black sails. this time with 100% less horny on main because my only real motivation for watching it is it truly looks to be a whole new caliber of horrible and I have to see it.

witness my standards for incomprehensibly bad movies being raised prohibitively high in every way imaginable under the cut

I seriously doubt that.

this was made in 2013 by the way, not 1994 as the graphic design of that logo might suggest

oh good, once again we’re opening with an exposition narrator. except this time it’s a woman and she has less vocal inflection and emotional investment than an amazon echo.

I feel like she’s gonna tell me to turn left in 800ft

it feels like a dragon age epilogue, but just. worse.

WE ARE WATCHING A TRULY HIGH QUALITY MOVIE TONIGHT MY FRIENDS

I can’t even describe how bad this is, you really need the sound. that’s where the true lack of quality shines through. siri’s depressed sister is talking about pre-vampire dracula’s epic feats in battle to more weird sepia dioramas and the dying soldiers sound like they hired muppets to voice them

HOLY WIG BATMAN

also this dude is obnoxiously jovial considering he’s supposed to be dracula, even if this is pre-vampire

oh no dracula’s advisors, who all wear black hooded robes and scowl ominously, have betrayed him and killed his wife, how unexpected

someone drew these, looked at them, and thought “yeah that’s good enough to go in the final movie”

the characters are speaking both english and what I assume is... romanian or something? transylvanian? it’s not spanish or welsh I can tell you that much. anyway there are no subtitles and also no rhyme or reason to which they’re speaking at any given time so I hope I’m not missing anything important. probably not.

so like... they killed his wife, yes. and he went on a murderfest in what appears to be a church in revenge, makes sense. now a dude who... I think maybe he’s supposed to be a priest or something? but he wasn’t speaking english so I can’t be sure, then a voice over said “I have killed for god, the hand that fought for him will now be turned against him” but I’m unclear on who was speaking. this movie is an absolute clusterfuck and we aren’t even five minutes in yet. this is still the prologue.

now zombie alexa claims dracula was cursed with immortality “in punishment for his defiance” but I’m still not sure... what defiance. he killed the dudes who murdered his wife and that’s somehow not okay despite his apparent status as a war hero, a designation that implies a LOT of killing has already happened?

fucking finally, the title screen. usually a prologue clarifies what a movie is about but I went in thinking I knew and now have absolutely no idea what I’m watching.

a carriage drawn by friesians is rolling through a misty forest with wolf howling sound bites playing at random in the background to vaguely urgent music, now this is what I’m here to see.

nevermind the carriage is too slow so they’re leaving it because that’s a thing people do (?????)

“Lady Arwen, we cannot delay”

seriously though everyone’s mumbling so much I can’t understand them much better than when they were speaking whatever the other language was

BOOTLEG XENA RIDES AGAIN

but this time she’s accompanied by esme. we don’t know who esme is yet either.

there she goes

and now the knights are being attacked by hilarious squeaky goblin things? who I guess are led by this power rangers villain with, again, an unintentionally hilarious voice. it’s like a bad batman impression.

with every minute that passes I become less certain of what I’m actually watching.

they’re looking for the “light bringer” and telepathically overseen by the world’s most halfassed lestat dracula

they’ve also got some random prisoners in a cage wagon

okay the prisoners are being taken to dracula’s castle and I’m sorry for such an image-heavy post but I NEED you to understand the community theater level of set design/quality we’re dealing with here

“what is that?” cardboard and mod podge is my guess

so far the only thing esme has done is fall off her horse and be knocked unconscious, and now a Roving Band of Misogynists has appeared to harass Bootleg Xena 3.0 in the most generic way possible (the words “what ‘ave we got ‘ere” accompanied by a chorus of malicious cackling and some whistles have been spoken)

oooh no the ringleader of the Roving Misogynists has been given a name, and it’s ~Lucien~. I have a horrible feeling that I’m about to bear witness to the worst romantic subplot in the history of cinema.

oh for... I thought at least bootleg xena 3.0 would be a Strong Female Character and fight them off, but she just rapped lucien on the head with her sword and then they stole her very important box and left as obnoxiously as they came

OH NO SHE’S ASKING TO GO WITH THEM, SOMEHOW THAT’S HER PLAN I THINK I’M RIGHT SHE’S GONNA HOOK UP WITH LUCIEN AND IT’S GOING TO BE HORRIBLE.

“trust me” she says to esme, who, wisely, obviously does not.

I appreciate the timely thunderclap every single time the castle comes on screen

who the fuck are you, did you wander onto the wrong movie set

nope okay they’re not gonna explain that shot at all we’re just moving on to a shot of a weird angel shadow doing slow flamenco moves on the ceiling while ominously gurgling, and the prisoners being led into the throne room

“what’s happening to us?” I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW THE SAME THING, PRISONER #3

oh never mind that guy from before wasn’t a priest, he is remfield, chancellor of this kingdom, which means the last scene he was in makes even less sense

AKSLDGHJFGAKDLFJGHKAJGHFDKLFDS;GJokay so. remfield introduced himself then said “I will see that your needs are tended to.” then dracula in his new white contacts gets up from his shadowy throne, circumnavigates the cluster of prisoners, sniffs them dramatically, and walks back to his throne. remfield then says, “come, I will see that your needs are tended to” because proofreading is for COWARDS

now remfield is... literally giving the prisoners a tour of the castle and going on the “oh you’re our guests and many pleasures and adventures await you” speech and somehow the prisoners are accepting this despite the fact that they were just carted in on a barred wagon in shackles and got sniffed by a bad alucard cosplayer. they have a fucking harpist.

seriously, who the fuck are you

she’s just been twirling around in the background of this entire scene for no discernible reason no matter what rooms they go into

what the hell am I watching

yeah they’re just going for that incredibly suspicious food and also seem weirdly okay with the ambient clusters of scantily clad lesbians no one will explain okay they deserve whatever happens to them

WHOA TITS apparently this movie is a different rating than I thought

remfield: the newcomers have settled in

dracula: I  d o n ‘ t  l i k e  s t r a n g e r s

then why pray tell have you brought them directly into your home in chains. I cannot stress enough how avoidable this situation was for you my dude

“just think sire, once the light bringer is in your possession no one need die again” “except those who defy me” [ominous chime as the angel shadow on the ceiling continues its sensuous flamenco dance]

meanwhile in the misty blue filter forest of eternal night, some guy in a tricorn finds a gold amulet that I think bootleg xena 3.0 dropped, and the power ranger villain rides menacingly in a random direction for a few seconds

I’m still waiting on whether this masterful display of cinematic calvinball has any cohesive story to it.

ah joy and we’re back to The Non-Adventures of Xena 3.0, Esme, and the Roving Misogynists

as an aside, I’m not calling her that just to be dumb, I’m calling her that because they still haven’t given her a name even though her sidekick got one in the first five minutes

they’ve opened the box and revealed... the light bringer, which is a wooden staff. because it is not shiny gold, the roving misogynists regard it with confounded disgrunglement and scoff at xena 3.0′s insistence that it can defeat dracula

these guys sound like what an eleven year old thinks gangs of ne’er-do-wells sound like. like cartoon weasels, if the weasels were also mediocre pirates who have heard of women, conceptually, but never seen one. like goblins in a pre-written D&D campaign run by a slightly overwhelmed first time DM.

HUR DUR WALKING STICK NOT TREASURE, WOMAN DUMB

it’s what cain used to slay abel, apparently. given that zombie alexa mentioned that dracula is the descendent of abel, this leaves us with the terrifying implication that someone did put at least some vestige of effort into writing this movie.

oh good she’s finally gonna fight lucien

no she failed again. please someone just punch the shit out of lucien so he’ll stop.

NO WHY ARE YOU MAKING OUT STOP IT GOD HAVE SOME STANDARDS WOMAN. STOP PLAYING FLOATY ROMANTIC MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND THEY ARE LITERALLY STILL STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ENTIRE BAND OF ROVING MISOGYNISTS

I thought it might at least be a trick but no she is actually, genuinely starstruck over this profoundly mediocre olde-timey frat boy who called her “sweetheart” while she was trying to explain to him why the ancient dracula-defeating relic was important.

this guy.

we did it boys, we found a worse love story than twilight

also I just. I wish I could convey with words the way the roving misogynists react to every single thing lucien and sometimes xena 3.0 says like the world’s worst greek chorus in a literally neverending stream

lucien (post makeout and xena 3.0 explaining again that the relic is ancient and powerful and they’ve searched for ages to find it): well we may not be knights but we can respect that

[cacophony of rowdy but understated agreement]

lucien: what do you think boys, should we give it back?

[assorted grumbles of assent]

xena 3.0: hm, a thief with a conscience

[gruff mercenary-esque chuckling]

lucien: maybe even a heart

[chorus of “ooooooOOOooh”s and some whistles]

it just goes on like that in every scene they happen to be physically adjacent to, they never shut up but also never actually contribute or say anything meaningful

ah, the mysterious leonardo has appeared. I think he was the one they were trying to take the light bringer to so that’s handy

“what is happening here? what is this flirtation?? is this the people to share your sacred secrets with???” - leonardo, the only remotely rational person in the entire movie

oh he is schooling these idiots, finally someone with sense. it’s bouncing right off of lucien, but at least he’s saying it.

“the scourge” - leonardo

“scourge!” “scourge!?” “scourge?” “hrgghhg??” “hrrm...” - the roving misogynists

power ranger villain and his squeaking goblins vs leonardo, the most useless female leads of all time, and the roving misogynists. who will win.

not the people watching this movie, I can tell you that much.

oh no, the lightbringer isn’t working. this will do nothing to convince the roving misogynists that it isn’t a walking stick

oop, wilhelm scream

oh no lucien has picked up the light bringer

goddamn it he’s the chosen one isn’t he

yep he activated the stick and now we all have to suffer

oh xena 3.0′s coming for power ranger villain maybe she’ll actually do something

nope she bounced off him and now he’s grabbed her and hauled her onto his horse

“you’re coming with me” he says in his weird batman voice, to make sure the audience can tell that he is in fact taking her with him

and esme has yelled “no” to make sure we remember that she’s in the movie

wait what the. did lucien just yell “xena” is that her actual name what the fuck. what the fuck. I had to have misheard that. okay I can’t tell what he’s saying for sure but someone’s bound to say her name again at some point in the movie so I’ll revisit that.

and on that note, I think I’ll end here, because there ended up being a LOT more to unpack in this movie than I expected, it’s after midnight, and I’m tired.

tomorrow, we follow lucien as he presumably goes to save some lady he wildly disrespected and then made out with one time whose name may or may not actually be xena, and hopefully figure out what the hell is even going on with dracula, remfield, and their castle full of artfully strewn half naked harpist lesbians and dancing ceiling shadows. because right now I really don’t have time to unpack all that, and I have a feeling it will only get worse.

[kurojiri]

He’s trying

Fandom(s): Iron Man (Movies); Marvel Cinematic Universe; Spider-Man: Homecoming Gen: Tony Stark & JARVIS; Tony Stark & FRIDAY; Tony Stark & Peter Parker Summary: Cooking, was unfortunately, not one his many skills he has padded down. Aka: 5 times Tony tries to cook alone  + 1 time he didn't. Square Fill: Learning to Cook A/N: @iron-man-bingo  Word Count: 2,776 Or read on ao3

“Sir?”

Besides the empty kitchen and with the windows wide open, Tony still found it hard to wake himself up properly. His head didn't ache nor had he drunk for the past two days, a record really, for a twenty-something old Tony Stark who had lived through so many parties and blackouts in the mornings. It had been one of those days when Tony Stark didn't know what to do with his life, he could return to his workspace and chose a random project to finish, or he could jot down a few new ideas to try out later but, instead he ended up in his kitchen. A place he didn't really do much there but had since he did eat occasionally when Rhodey had successfully managed something edible to end up inside his stomach.

A normal person would have had a fully stocked pantry and refrigerator but in Tony's case it had been mostly empty, save a few odd takeout stored in there. There had been some that should have been thrown out by now, but he didn’t pay attention to them just yet. He had spotted some eggs and butter and figured he might as well do something productive and virtually something unlike him as his stomach took cue to grumble out loud. Being sober had been bad enough that starvation wasn’t something he had been keen on either.

(How people could stand being sober for more than two days, Tony did not understand them.)

He took them out wordlessly before addressing his A. I who by then had shown some emotions that he did not remember programming him having.

“It's morning, right? So, breakfast should be eaten right now if I’m pretending to be a normal person.”

“Yes, sir. It is rational for a person to eat breakfast before starting their day. Shall I contact the usual to prepare you something?”

The eggs and butter were still out. Uncharacteristically, he shook his head. It still amazed him how he forgot how it felt to not have a huge headache because of alcohol. He had been going through a withdrawal last night, but his own body had shut down from the needed sleep his body craved, so he won that night. He didn’t think he could last to lunch. So, he figured he might as well try breakfast before he raided the vodka later.

“Nah, I think I’ll try to whip something up for myself before we admit defeat.”

“Are you sure, sir?”

“Definitely. I'm feeling like pancakes and some eggs. It can’t be that hard to do.” He strolled over to the pantry again to fetch the pancake mix and to some random bowls before getting started.

Ten minutes later after the fire burned most of his stove and 911 had been called, he ordered breakfast.

He tried. .

“JARVIS, how hot is it?”

The sun had been suspiciously killing him each time he woke up to sweaty clothes clinging to him. It had been worse when he had women over, the sheets didn’t welcome him when he woke up in those days. He probably spent most of his time in the shower where the cold water helped somewhat. California's summers were not his favorite times. Sure, there was a nonexistent winter in some parts but the summer was three-fourths prominent in his life.

“It is 99 degrees, with a chance of it reaching towards 104 later this afternoon.”

He whipped off the sweat from his brow as he whistled out loud his complaint. “Well shit. No wonders I’m sweating everywhere. That’s it I’m not going to work today or tomorrow. Pepper can pry off my sweaty ass from the shower if she really wants a go. But I’m not leaving.”

Ten minutes later after his first, but not last shower he walked over the refrigerator where there had been cold beers inside and ready for him to drink into oblivion. An odd watermelon had been in there too with sliced pieces in a large plate. He didn't remember ever eating them or buying one since he had left his family mansion. Tony didn’t know whether to hiss at the fruit or not for bringing up memories that should have not popped up in the first place. He did take out the plate and poked them. They were still freshly cut.

And too healthy for him to consume. That wouldn’t do. He needed nourishment and a buzz. “Hey, JARVIS give me some recipes for a fun treat with watermelon and with—” he spotted a couple of ingredients that he used on occasion with guest. “Tequila, orange liqueur, and lime juice.”

“Right away Sir.”

When Pepper came later that day, she had not been shocked to him eating a watermelon popsicle with alcohol in it. She really couldn’t. At least the kitchen survived from Tony using it that day. .

He got sick.

That really had been the only reason why he didn’t drink for that week. It had been horrendous. 1000/10 would not recommend. Besides the runny nose, the clogged throat and fever that came and went the cold sweat was just plain disgusting. The shivers had been annoying too since had to keep call Pepper to order more blankets.

He was sure that Pepper was getting too fed up with random calls for soup or other shit he couldn’t remember asking with the hazy memory he had going. He blacked out some memories too as he woke up on a coach or inside his lab several times when he knew he had been sleeping in his room. Tony usually took really good care in having no sick people near him, and it had worked out perfectly for most his life. It seemed like he ran out of luck this season as the flu came in hard and fast.

He would give Pepper a raise once this flu left his body. “JARVIS, make a note of that.”

“Duly noted.”

It still didn’t change that he was sick, moaning and bitching in the middle of his living room. Watching TV barely kept his attention too when he had it turn on. The medicine didn’t really kick in until he reached the cooking channel. The image of a beef stew had made his stomach ache. And in some poor sad image, Tony wobbled to the kitchen where he promptly asked JARVIS to keep him company as well be his second command as he attempted to make the stew from memory. The fire department had been called twenty minutes later with a scolding Pepper right behind them.

.

Slightly nodding off but still very coherent to be awake, he had stumbled to the kitchen at three in the morning. His reflexes had been getting rusty since he passed late twenties, but he didn’t let that stop him from opening his freezer. It had been a long journey since the whole Iron-Man thing happened. JARVIS was gone and he needed to do something. Anything really with him not sleeping.

Pepper was not there, as she had to be the more responsible CEO and away for a business trip. Their penthouse was quite different from the tower and faculty where the rest of the odd man of Avengers went to. He didn’t know why he couldn’t sit still. Tony had meant it when he said he would not be Iron Man. He did want to branch away from it. And yet. There he was debating to order food from a 24/7 place or not.

The freezer didn’t hold anything that he really wanted, but there a premade lasagna. The box even had directions there for him to pop it inside an oven. Life should have been simple like that; having directions like food did. It would help make the world so much easier to navigate. And for someone like Tony, he needed an easy assignment or task to do since all that clusterfuck that came to be his life.

“Hey, Fri, can you be a good girl and preheat the oven for me.”

As he closed the freezer his A. I responded back. “Are you sure that is wise to do so boss? I have a protocol to alert Ms. Potts, Mr. Rhodes and any other person in proximity if you attempt to cook.”

That stung a bit that he didn’t have any support from his current A. I in his cooking. He was sure that JARVIS loved spending time with him when he tried to be domestic. Even if most of those times did involve other people watching him not burning a toaster. Or that he couldn’t eat anything that he did manage to create. It still meant a lot to him since he remembered the times, he did have the real Jarvis cooking for him since he never did like the way his nannies made him snacks or meals.

“Hey, I can make toast without breaking the toaster. And I’m a billionaire so, I can afford to remodel the kitchen any day, week and year without it being a problem.”

He ripped open the box and went over the oven. “Now, it's just a premade lasagna. It can’t be that hard to heat up.”

Over the other side of the country, Pepper woke up to the background noise of people talking and for some reason her gut knowing Tony had tried cook. How she knew, she didn’t bother dig deep as she heard Tony slowly explaining himself on the other end.

“So, turns out premade food is still a risky thing for me to do alone. Although, I blame FRIDAY’s negative feedback. It brought the moral down.”

“Tony.”

“I know. I know, don’t cook alone.” .

With drinking out of his life Tony Stark knew he needed to find better ways to use his time. Tinkering had always been his thing. And while sometimes they got him into trouble and had been a nasty habit to become obsessed with, cooking had been that weird zone where he did in small and rare times in his life. He never got good at it. (But somehow his life did end up with the fire departments that had been close to his California and New York home did get to know him.) Any practice time he did use, he needed to be supervised by other people. As neither of his A. I counted, apparently.

There had many times when he had to remodel and replace appliances as a consequence, but Tony Stark could not consider himself as a quitter for anything. He had wanted to get better, to impress people like Pepper and Rhodey that he could make one dish without having a disaster being invited into the mix. He had always lived to in a motto for self-improvement after he had hit rock bottom and wanted out, he wanted to be a decent human being.

How it came back to learning how to cook, he didn’t know; but Tony knew that if he had to pick something to other than sticking inside his lab he had to choose something remotely useful. Like being able to go a day and eat a chicken taco salad because he wanted to eat one. He could have ordered one, but really, if he made it, it would have made the whole ordeal of looking like he could pull it off being someone that Pepper could count on.

When he had been younger Jarvis had been someone that he liked watching cooking. Those memories sometimes still hurt for him think about, but as he grew older he could appreciate them. The salad may have been seen as a joke, but for Tony, he really just wanted one plate he could make. It didn’t matter how long he would have to practice to getting it right, he wanted it done.

“Boss, shall I inform Ms. Potts?”

He had all the ingredients ready. “Sure. Knock your socks off. I'll start washing the lettuce while you’re at it.”

He’ll get there eventually. Along, with FRIDAY looking out for him.

.

“So, basically, your class is having a dessert cook-off?”

Tony had lowered his tablet that he had been looking over when Peter sat down across of him for a lunch break, he could tell that he had been nervous about the ordeal with one hand tapping against his thighs. A habit, Tony noticed since they started to regularly meet up two-three times after school and weekends for the internship that became legal with documents and pay, as he insisted after Peter had shown him sketches of things he wanted to create. The kid was brilliant, and he would damn make sure he would help his spider-kid getting the right material and opportunities to change the world whether he wore the spandex as he fought crime or diligently engineering in the lab, he provided him. When Peter nodded Tony gestured for him to pass him the flyer that his homeroom period had passed out a day prior. It had been crumpled and constantly been reopened and folded by the worn creases it endured.

He wasn't a genius when it came to the kitchen, but when his kid looked hopeful, he knew he couldn't resist the puppy eyes that had been unintentionally aimed at him.

“Sure, why not. I'm free that day.” Peter's body instantly relaxed as he flashed him a happy grin. “I'm going to assume that your aunt is going to be the third team member, right?”

They both knew that their team was going to create a unique entry with Peter being the only person that could decently make cereal and eggs scrambled on a good day. That, and because of the very colorful history Tony with the years of him trying to make anything edible. Did anyone ever mention to Peter of Tony’s lack of skills for cooking? Was it even a good idea to participate and probably burn down his school, just because Peter asked him to be in his team? It was too late to back out now, he already said yes. He also didn’t want to disappoint him.

And besides, it could only end in disaster if Peter and May gave him a big part in the meal. He could mix and stir without raising hell. It would be fine. (But he would make sure to give the heads up to both Parkers either way during practice hours.)

“She saw the flyer and got excited over it.” Peter shrugged his shoulders sheepishly. “She actually was the one to voice in seeing if you wanted to participate too.”

“Really?”

Besides the whole cooking thing nagging into his skull, he was still new to being a mentor with Peter. It had been a good change in his life; even if there had been moments, he knew that he gained gray hairs because of the kid. He sort of reminded him of how reckless the youth could be as it brought him back into remembering his exchange with May Parker.

It had a few weeks since the homecoming disaster and from her marching to the closest office she could find to mark an impromptu meeting with him. There had a few furious curses that had been thrown from her side; but nothing aimed directly at him, which sort of surprised him since he has had a past of pissing off women that did (and in some ended with a slap on the face too). In that day, they eventually got to the point where she did give them a timeout to calm the room. May Parker had been resilient woman since the death of her husband and finding out about Spider-Man, and when they came to discuss Peter's future Tony had just been happy to still have a part in it. Even more so, to be allowed to see Peter growth first hand.

“She likes you now. Aunt May knows that you're for serious in mentoring and looking out for me.”

“Okay then. We’ll have to schedule in days to practice our desserts before the cook-off.” And for the fire department to get the heads up that Tony Stark would be trying to cook again.

Peter took out his phone with a list already filled options to consider. “Can we try making the pumpkin ginger cupcakes or a cheesecake?”

He leaned forward to ruffle Pete’s curls. “Sure kid. FRIDAY, can you pull the recipes for them? Oh, and don’t forget to call May to see if she’s free to come over as soon as possible.”

Because honestly, he didn’t want to be alone with precious cargo who still didn’t know how terrible he was in the kitchen.

[twiststreet]

Comic Book Question

Yeah, I saw some of that stuff.  Seemed like a fucking clusterfuck.  

It’s nice, not being on that twitter.  That’s one of those “it’s nice not to be on twitter” moments.  If I had twitter, it’d just be (a) getting into dumb shit like that, and/or be the cause of even worse shit like that, (b) saying thirsty things to girls all inappropriate-like-- I’d be one of those creeps responding to softcore porn girl selfies like “ohhhh your photo is sooo beautiful”... I’d be one of those guys, it’d be completely horrifying, and then (c) screaming angry and incredibly inappropriate politics things but at like, that pointless lady who writes about the Oscars.  And (d) making fun of Kurt Eichenwald and the large kung fu sons he watches Japanese porn with, but I can do that here. 

But yeah... Graham...

You know: for me, I thought he said some ridiculous shit I was like “oh dude no” about but... 

The bit about “I’d rather read a comic of someone inspired by how much they hate that Chaykin cover instead of having to put up with listening to the minorities share how they’re upset about that Chaykin cover” (that’s not how he phrased it exact-like, but how I heard it anyways)...  140 characters isn’t the place to say shit like that because you’re not going to articulate whatever the hell you’re trying to say (???) in a way that’s palatable in that short a space... 

Best case scenario, it’s just weird to say: a comic takes a while to write, draw, and print for most people! So it’s like ... “I would prefer to see someone reacting to this five-to-eight months from now” ... he’s not really in a hurry, I guess!  Also: who with their limited lifespan is going to be like “instead of making a comic about something I care about, while I’m still alive, i’m going to make a comic about how a Howard Chaykin drawing made me feel?”  

(Especially because for me the big lesson of Chaykin’s career is “don’t waste your awesome years because when they’re over, man are they ever over”... Chaykin’s were over after, like, Midnight Men in 90-whatever... the Good Years, they ain’t fucking coming back...)

I mean, have you ever made a comic?  It takes a while and is physically not the most healthy activity because you’re just sitting there barely moving for long hours!  And the mental bits of it aren’t great either (which if you want an explanation for all kinds of bad behavior from comics people, you (a) make a comic and then (b) sit behind a flea market table by yourself for a while behind some comics you made... you do those two things and it’s a miracle any of these fucking people are even a little bit sane...).  So yeah... man... no one who’s got the goods is wasting time making a fucking Howard Chaykin Response Comic.

(Well actually:  every comic I’ve ever made has been about how Howard Chaykin comics make me feel-- that’s why I bother to try to draw characters with different faces, so I don’t accidentally make anyone feel like I do when I’m reading Chaykin like “is this the same guy as the other guy?  oh look, it’s the One Whole Black Guy he can draw, the one with the moustache”.  So I don’t accidentally make Satellite Sam.)(You ever read that shit?  Dude tried to make an ensemble comic-- he can only draw 3 faces!  It was just paper slowly transitioning to a state of trash). 

And it’s just, like, that’s me being generous with what Graham is saying there.  If I wanted to get the knives out, I’d go the whole “you know-- minorities aren’t here to fucking dance for your amusement and then disappear when you don’t like them criticizing Image Comics” route and we’d have some fun.  But I basically like that dude so why would I get the knives out for being clueless on Twitter one time...? 

Like, that’s the sad part about this is... 

I mean, I didn’t like a lot of what people were saying back at Graham either. Or I felt sad it had gotten to that “live long enough to become the villain” space with the guy... (didn’t love the Dark Knight but that’s gotta be the most useful fucking line of dialogue from a movie in the 00′s...)

You know: the guy’s been forthcoming about what he thinks on Twitter, and I think in a really positive way in the long-view.  And there aren’t many comic creators who bother.  Most just have this very false schtick about how they’re the good guys now, in vague generalities, and on unspecific terms because they’re careerists.  Which I think you really really see when shit like this Chaykin thing happens and it’s fucking crickets...

I don’t think you’d say that of Graham so seeing him take his licks on this or the Dilraj Mann thing (where I felt a lot less comfortable and more confused with what people were saying, though that was also kind of a dumb and badly drawn cover)... You know, there’s a sadness there...

At least if you look at comics and go... you know... “where’s our Scorsese?  Where’s the guy who doesn’t just care about HIS movies but is out there repping film history?”  Like, I saw people yelling about “Chaykin and Crumb” and like, people don’t know their comics history!  Because those dudes are not in the same fucking tradition.  At all.  (Granted, history blurs as you get further away from the source but...).  

Graham’s one of the few guys I’d make any kinda exception for.  Granted, he likes comics about, like, cats on mopeds that fuck one another with lollipops or whatever-- like, we like different shit but he’s at least some kind of ambassador role... So you know: there’s a sadness there, to watching people go like “I never want to hear what you want to say either fucko”... like, who are you going to be left with???  

Comics history right now is just something you gotta hear at a bar from an alcoholic.  If there’s no profit in people talking.  And I think that’s sad...  

(Especially because sometimes-- not the majority of the time, but sometimes--  I would get the feeling people were angry at Graham for disagreeing with them or not going along with them, and not just that he was saying dumb things, which... you know, the echo chamber quality of twitter is one of the things I’m most happy not being a part of and most confused how people aren’t worried more about... it goes (#1) I don’t say thirsty shit all day every day and then (#2) not part of an echo chamber...)

That said, I follow Graham on tumblr and he’s still saying some weird-to-me stuff I can’t say I get.  Recent tumblr post has a real corker:

Or the other extreme is that you get Marvel movies– work designed to not challenge or offend. Work that I would argue isn’t really even trying to be “art” Where artist, Ardian Syaf who quoted the Qur’an in the background (Granted it was taken by many to be anti semitic) of his art got fired over it. What that says to me is that Marvel was not employing him to express his actual opinions and beliefs

Like... I’d like to think that I tend to skew in favor of art and artists and free speech slightly more than other angry and racially paranoid minorities on the internet, but:  dude, Ardian Syaf is an anti-semite.  He was quoted as saying “When Jews are offended, there is no mercy.”  On what fucking planet does someone dance around calling someone who says that an anti-semite??? Like, that is not any kind of rocket science.  And being upset that Marvel’s not hiring an anti-semite to put extremist messages in their children’s comics is just a fucking weird and kinda stupid position to take. I don’t really see that as being a worthwhile fight...???  

I just don’t find anything in that paragraph I find all that agreeable... It’s a head-scratcher for me anyways...

Especially because this isn’t the olden days.  If Syaf wants to go make comics about the jews, he can go do that online.  There are probably 10,000 webcomics on that topic #trump’s-america.  

That “comics creators versus the fans / world” positioning that I think gets into creators’ heads, you know, I think that’s reflective of that.  And I don’t find that shit interesting.  

Because I think I disagree with a key premise for Graham, which he articulates as follows:

He was saying that if you are going to give artists total freedom you will get things like the Howard Chaykin book/cover or Airboy or Boiled Angel. People will do work that is not for everyone or misses the mark and offends – or is just stupid and offensive. but you also ideally make more room for books like Stuck Rubber baby, Sinner, Barefoot Gen, or Phoebe Gloeckner ‘s  A child’s life, or the underground comics movement- Raw magazine  or Metal Hurlant-(& I know these aren’t Image books but it’s the high water mark I aim for)

And I would argue that this is an intensely ahistorical view of looking at the comics he’s talking about.  Because those comics existed in larger social contexts...

Metal Hurlant came out of a France that saw profound leftist riots in the late 1960′s.  

Raw came from Art Spiegelman and Francoise Mouly -- Mouly's Wikipedia page talks about how ‘68 France effected her life, and it’s a whole story.  Spiegelman goes back to the undergrounds (which certainly had problematic content but was also of its time-- ie, the 60′s social upheavel).  And they took advantage of a scene in the 80′s where you go and look at like the ... what’s that thing called the razzmataz manifesto...?  goddamn my memory... the Rozz-Tox manifesto.  You know, I think part of the DNA of Raw is all the shit that’s bubbling around folks in the 80′s who were probably not fucking happy about Reagan getting elected.

Stuck Rubber Baby, the LGBTQ rights movement.

Barefoot Gen, I mean, the sociopolitical environment which Japanese creators were coming out is a whole fucking thing.

Nobody’s written a Lipstick Traces for comics (Ellis kinda tried with his one thing-- I liked that thing but I can’t remember the name, the Kirby head thing) but you can’t look at these comics  as just things that you found in a back issue box-- they come from specific times.  Same for the Italian guys-- Ranxerox came from like a very particular crowd of Italians, if you dig into that scene, that you can’t tell from the surface of that comic necessarily, say but...

My point being these came out of outsider people really engaged during turbulent times.  Not cultures of fucking stupidity where people were like “let’s make space for the guy who drew Hawkgirl to just be stupid all the fucking time and put out a bunch of stupid fucking shit, and maybe our giant mass of stupidity will somehow accidentally let us fall backwards into some good comics.”  

It’s not just “creative freedom.”  It’s people being aware of the world around them and being ... you know, attacking from a particular place that just hasn’t been true in all these circumstances.

And when you look at this Chaykin thing, the Airboy thing, etc., I just don’t think you look at those (or really 90% of comics) and go “oh well these are outsiders coming out of subcultures to attack the mainstream world.”   I think that’s a big part of why people are angry.  They look at people who comics have historically sated, insiders who want to be congratulated anyways for their fucking sociopolitical insights. They’re looking at this as the mainstream world just jawing more, and they’re the outsiders without a voice.  Like, what the hell does Chaykin have to be unhappy about???  Not getting a gig on Hawk & Dove comics...?  He ain’t 80′s Chaykin anymore.  He’s ‘17 Chaykin-- and man, it’s sad but that don’t mean shit...

Or the idea that Image publishing lazy default shit by lazy default people somehow “makes space” for them publishing more daring things... Well, I mean, shit in one hand and wish in another and see where it gets you.  (Is that the saying?).  I think I used to believe stuff like that but then the daring things never showed up.  So I just don’t know that I buy that anymore.  Waiting got old...

If a younger artist who felt under attack more did that cover, maybe we’d view it differently.  And I ain’t saying there ain’t a hypocrisy to that, but I think... you know, the feelings are the feelings.  This is partly a feelings thing, and when people are feeling shit, they feel shit.  

What was my point...

So, like, yes, you need creative freedom.  And I don’t agree with a lot of the things people were saying to Graham.  I think there’s a toxicity to how people talk about this stuff, a lack of generosity or perspective. I don’t agree with a 1,000 things that were said.  E.g., most people really shouldn’t be all that “traumatized” by a fucking comic book cover of a comic that no one except my brother-in-arms John Kane’s reading; I agree with Graham 1000% that Image exerting significant editorial oversight would be a drastic loss, if it were even logistically possible, which I don’t believe it is given what little i know about Image; I’d rather Image prioritize not making space for its creators to sexually harass women (remember that time with that one guy?  I do);  sometimes a little offense is a price worth paying for a vibrant medium; sometimes offensive shit is really great and a relief for a person going through a kind of life experience, etc.  And I worry that the more sinister parts of the internet feeds off of and responds to the way Graham gets talked to in a even darker way, that “if you can be a SJW and still get it in the neck from these bother, why should I bother not being a fucking anime nazi” people that I think we all know are out there and far more worrisome than Brandon Graham...

But creative freedom alone is alone not enough to create the kind of comics medium worth anyone reasonable caring about, and I disagree with Graham’s fundamental premise there.

You need people who aren’t so fucking stupid, who can use that freedom to articulate genuinely interesting fucking things to say.  I gotta return to my original point that the problem is the stupidity, which may be unsolvable with comics because man, what the hell kinda smart person is getting near comics with all its shit, without having some profound emotional issues or whatever.  (I’m bad at intimacy!)

  And man, not-stupid ain’t this cover, that ain’t Airboy, that ain’t any of this shit.  So I don’t agree with Graham that anything good’s coming out of a culture that just produces shit as relentlessly as comics does-- I think shit comes from shit.  Morons don’t just wake up being smart.  I reject that premise.  Did all those Marvel comics with women getting butchered result in really smart comics?  No.  They resulted in people telling me I should read the Vision and how smart it was and then I buy the first issue and a woman’s getting fucking butchered.  Shit comes from shit.  A diseased chicken isn’t going to accidentally shit a diamond.  (Comics ain’t the diamond in my awesome metaphor). 

The larger historical situation we’re all in now could produce really engaged work because there’s plenty to be angry about.  And I think that’s what Image is trying (not even remotely successfully) to sell people that is their intent.  But it takes artists, not careerists, and it takes people who give a shit, not people who just show up to talk about how they give a shit when they got a book to sell and it takes a degree of subculture and alienation which means people with some kinda outsider chip on their shoulder, which isn’t going to be fucking the guy who writes Fantastic Four or draws Hawkgirl.  It takes something other than stupidity, and so Image’s little diatribes about how they’re actually the good guys... I mean who’s fucking buying that shit???  (Hey, remember that time Image made a comics career easier for multiple guys who sexually harass women?  I do.)  

(I wandered into a comic shop for the first time this year the other day-- or well, I wandered into Meltdown which used to be a comic shop and is now a fucking disaster.  I got one of those James Robinson Nick Furies.  So I mean, I’m not saying you throw these people away over this shit either.  The thing I throw comics people away over is if they’re shitting on comics.  I haven’t been able to read a Jason Aaron comic since he shit on Alan Moore.  I haven’t been able to read a DC Comic in a few years now.  Etc.)(I also got one of those Kyle Starks hobo comics... I hope that’s okay...)

So I don’t know.  I could ramble on very easily because it’s one of those topics but.  You know, short answer:  I like Brandon Graham.  I don’t agree with 90% of the shit he said and I don’t agree with about... 70% of what got said back at him, except when people were making fun of him for telling them to go draw a comic, especially the folks who drew comics of themselves giving him the middle finger, which I thought was hilarious.  I’m just... you know, I got this day job where I just clock things like “bad argument... bad argument... not persuasive... bad argument” anymore, like a robot. I got my own mess going on.  So.  I gotta stop-- I have to get to work, but...

Short answer: Clusterfuck.