#this ended up being so much longer than i was really uhhhhhhhh intending

[gamelost]

𝙲:\𝚄𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚜\  @yoakkemae​ \ 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝> 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕> 𝙽𝙴𝙰𝚁. >  ❝ 𝚊𝚖 𝚒 𝚋𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞 ? ❞

FACT: matt jeevas was third in line to be the next L. FACT: matt jeevas never wanted to be L.

these two truths that existed in the same plane of existence, two truths that compounded together to form matt’s opinion that wammy’s house was bullshit. though, as he would say if pressed (by anyone who knew, at least), really it should be common sense that wammy’s house was bullshit from the get go. orphans brought in because they were special? absolute bullshit.

(sometimes he wondered how many of them were doomed from the start, 0s and 1s in a system with a kill switch--) but he’s getting distracted.

he can’t really remember when he got over whatever weird negative opinion he had of near from when he was twelve. there was a part of him that was just annoyed by near’s existence because he was so effortlessly the best, but who knew how much of that was mello’s (also twelve year old) opinion bleeding into him.

either way, now he finds himself at the headquarters of near’s -- no, L’s - new... team? team seems to be the right word. he supposes he has a role in that new team, seeing as he has done some hacking work for near since everything went down, but honestly some days he feels a bit like a wad of gum stuck to the bottom of their shoes, adamantly refusing to be scraped off.

and he’s getting distracted again.

he actually doesn’t even realize near’s speaking for a second and then he blinks back into reality and out of the binary code in his head, eyelids fluttering as he refocuses in on reality.

(fuck, he misses his goggles. he’s been scouring ebay but nothing has come up that has quite the same kick as his old pair. it was shit, is what it was.)

hm. is it worse to say he wasn’t paying attention, own up to his own distraction? or is it worse to lie and say yes. it was hard to lie to near, though, and half the time he really did feel like near could sniff out his deception. mind made up, then.

"i honestly didn’t notice you were even talking.”

bite the bullet, matty. stand right in front of that train barreling down at you and find out what happens when it hits. (never let it be said he didn’t have the same flair for dramatics that mello did.)