#this feeling of being snubbed and thrown aside and just undesired around
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#am i surprised? no. but i'm disappointed and hurt about it lol#it's just.... i'm not trying anymore. i'm not reaching out#if it's gone then it's gone. it will hurt. and i will miss it yeah#but i can't keep chasing people who clearly don't want me around#i can't do this anymore. i just can't. gentleness and consideration are not hard things to give#if a middle ground can't be found when things are clearly messed up then well what can i do alone?#i'm not letting go. i'm just not holding when when they clearly have let it go#no one is to blame. i'm just tired of feeling so terrible like this.#this feeling of being snubbed and thrown aside and just undesired around#it's choking me. being a fourth fifth sixth choice. it's not for me. i'm not strong enough for this#people leave your life just as swiftly as they came in and i hate that. i truly do#i'm genuinely not strong enough to deal with people leaving so you know. perhaps i shouldn't let anyone in#so crazy how you become nothing to people that means a lot to you in a blink of an eye#if people want to stay in my life they need to make an effort. it can't be one sided. i can't feel one sided#that's not my decision to make and God i can see where this is going. fucking radio silence#people could at least have the decency of telling me if they are staying or leaving. because wondering is not fun#valuing something that perhaps lost the value#i don't know i cried again#lol whatever#c'est la vie
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