#this got really long i apologize im writing this in a fugue state

[katzkinder]

was talking with friends about what's necessary for an Eve to be successful at their position and what an individual Servamp might need from their particular Eve, and of course this came back to talking about Wrath arc since that's the most polarizing for some reason when it comes to who should have been Freya's Eve, but also Tetsu and Mikuni got involved, which is... Gonna be fun to ramble about LOL

Alright so ripping the bandaid off real fast, Tsurugi... Would make a bad Eve. I love him but it is so so true, he would be a TERRIBLE Eve, because until Mahiru entered his soul and helped him confront his loneliness, he lacked the most important thing for being an Eve: the ability to make his own decisions.

If an Eve is a Servamp's reason, the one who pulls them back from the brink, what do you think will happen if someone becomes an Eve who can't do that task? Someone like Tsurugi, who has only ever blindly obeyed the orders given to him without question? What do you think would happen if he made a Contract with the Servamp of Wrath, who is shown having Eves in positions of power before, who dislikes senseless death and murder, if she were tied to a man who only knows how to look to his superiors for who he's supposed to kill next?

If he had become her Eve, he never would have been able to grow beyond the him who looked at Mahiru and blithely talked about the reality that the outcome of the war would decide whether he was a hero or a mass murderer. He literally could not even think for himself enough to question whether he was right or not.

That is. Really fucking bad lmao.

Especially since even if Tsurugi survived the trial of wrath (he wouldn't, because he's a footsoldier who only knows how to do as told and Freya needs someone who can equal her, not be consumed by her), when it came to rescuing Shuuhei from Shamrock? He would not have pulled his blade like Iduna made Freya do (and even Freya herself is shocked by the decision Iduna made. She's clearly not used to having her Eves, while in battle, show mercy or make decisions that don't end in bloodshed). He would have killed Shamrock, saved Shuuhei, and doomed everyone because he just offed one of Tsubaki's inner circle and sent him on a made quest for revenge, AGAIN, thoroughly ruining both the plot and Servamp's narrative cohesion.

Anyway all of that *gestures above* is also why I think Tetsu ended up NOT being an Eve this whole time. He, like Tsurugi was, is completely dependent on others to tell him what to do. He doesn't think when things don't add up, he simply accepts whatever he's told at face value, and that... It ended badly for him, suffice to say. He was used by Hugh and, like a dog that's been kicked, had no idea what to do when hurt by his master via betrayal.

Which brings me to Mikuni. He is the OPPOSITE of Tetsu. He is someone who commands his Servamp without ever taking Jeje's thoughts into account. And while he's a decent Eve of Envy, WHOO MAMA Y'ALL he would be so so bad as the Eve of Lust.

He and Lily are just too similar and if they didn't live together since Mikuni was a fetus, they would not get along at all lololol. Even now, because they're so similar, there's no like... cross talk? Between them?? There's no one who steps back and says "hey what the hell that's fucked up" when one or the other wants to do something Stupid.

And basically what I'm getting at here is that being an Eve for one Servamp is not necessarily a qualification where you are just Super Suited For Being An Eve.

Because the Servamps and Eves are individuals, so their own differences lead to combinations which are either lightning in a bottle (Kuro and Mahiru) or destined for tragedy (Mikuni and Lily)

We should all be very grateful that Mikuni never inherited Lily like he was supposed to :) Those mean bitches would have caused so much chaos together and I love that for them, but I don't want the world to end ya feel

[simkjrs]

No, no, don't apologize, that post was fantastic, the concepts are amazing, YES TO MINI IZUKA AND MINI SAIKI. Also, 'hey can you help me my friend got kinapped' is such a crazy phrase to say, but not more crazy that Saiki's whole life, I love all ideas you can tell us all about them. DO TELL US.

okay!! i feel like i now have two (2) “my hero saiki” crossovers to write: the one where saiki’s first encounter in the b/nha universe is accidentally teleporting into yuuei during the USJ incident and being mistaken for a villain, and the one where saiki visited the b/nha universe as a child. THERE’S JUST AN ABUNDANCE OF CROSSOVERS HERE, the hijinks all write themselves, saiki still has no luck in any of his endeavors but at least he still has his ungodly arsenal of questionably useful powers. 

ANYWAYS, as requested, here are all the shitty ideas that have been stubbornly spawning in my head despite all my efforts to the contrary: 

the one where izuku is talking with his mom about saiki, maybe allowing himself a moment of grief after all these long years. where did saiki disappear to, he laments. sometimes, he says, sometimes he wonders if saiki is still alive – if saiki has found a home, or a, a family – if saiki is happy, and if so, if saiki sometimes thinks of them —- he hears a whoosh. he turns. a familiar face sitting at the dinner table, stone-faced, but the glint of his glasses still manages to convey a sense of bewilderment. …tadaima, saiki says. izuku screams. izuku’s mom screams. saiki mentally contemplates whether or not having a tendency to scream when surprised is a useful and cathartic character trait, concludes it is not, but feels that sitting blank-faced at a table does not adequately express how much he doesn’t want to deal with this right now, either. maybe he should give this screaming thing a try.

izuku holds this against saiki forever and brings it up whenever possible. i’m impressed that you kept up with your heroics hobby all these years, saiki says. well, i had to occupy myself with SOMETHING while i thought you were DEAD, says izuku. 

oh, you have a brother? i didn’t know, that, deku! uraraka says. i would have told you sooner if a certain someone hadn’t DISAPPEARED for SEVEN YEARS, izuku says loudly. stop holding it against me. it’s not like i meant to, saiki thinks, annoyed, and goes to his room to sulk be alone. 

izuku: seven years ago this day, i lost someone very dear to me. saiki: quit telling everyone im deadizuku: sometimes i can still hear his voice

the villain!au crossover, where saiki returns to the b/nha universe seven years later only to find out that his friend has become a notorious villain. what the fuck, izuku. 

classic villain!deku edition: “don’t try and convince me to return to the right path!” so you acknowledge that you’re not on the right path. “the heroes are a corrupt institute. i won’t be like them. i’ll teach them a lesson.” you’re more corrupt than they are right now. 

izuku tries to pull off a crime. that’s illegal. saiki foils his plans and stares izuku down judgmentally from the rooftop or something 

saiki tails izuku and investigates the villain alliance. okay, he’s not letting this go on any longer. he destroys the villain alliance, drops off the villains in front of the police station, and drags izuku forcefully on a soul-searching roadtrip around the world or something. and by roadtrip, he means “teleporting to different locations as it suits his whims.” and by soul-searching, he mostly means making izuku gain some perspective. stop focusing on revenge plots, drink some coconut juice. whatever

villain!deku fugue state: “…sorry, i never knew anyone named saiki kusuo. don’t get in my way, please.” i.e. the one where izuku has been brainwashed or w/e is popular these days, and he doesn’t remember his family or saiki. saiki kidnaps forcibly teleports izuku to a psychologist’s office. the psychologist shouts in surprise. izuku tries to climb out the window. saiki grabs izuku’s shirt collar and points at izuku like he has memory problems. fix them please, 

noumu izuku xover: saiki is pissed and fucks shit up with the villain alliance. nice

The Villain!Izuku Comedy That We All Need But Don’t Deserve: at first saiki is kind of pissed and determined to drag izuku back onto the right path. then he’s just kind of confused. 

saiki, internally: …i leave for seven years, and izuku turns villainy into a celebrity occupation? (he is grudgingly impressed.) 

izuku is overjoyed to meet saiki! he isn’t sure who saiki is but HE’S GLAD TO MEET HIM ANYWAYS. izuku immediately ropes saiki into helping out with his schemes. saiki resists, valiantly. sort of. he succumbs to izuku’s persistent, cheerful insistence in the end. 

every time i tell myself “this au can’t get any more ridiculous than it already is” ideas like this happen, and i’m full of regret

the AU where saiki’s brother, kuusuke, meddles with saiki’s control devices; as a result, saiki accidentally catapults himself and his brother into the b/nha universe. now saiki will have to work with his brother to get them both back home. 

kuusuke: cant you… teleport us back home? kusuo: no. it takes three minutes before i can teleport again. shouldn’t you know this? havent you been looking for a way to beat me for 14 years? aren’t you a top cambridge student?

hijinks: breaking into high-security or Very Important locations to get the equipment & materials that kuusuke needs. this one is fun because a) it puts them on the heroes’ radar, and b) it puts them on the villains’ radar. kuusuke enjoys riling up and baiting both sides far too much. kusuo is upset

i like this idea is because kuusuke and kusuo have a bad relationship, so being forced to cooperate would be so INTERESTING for their character growth!!. AND it would… maybe… show them… that they care about each other (^: 

PLUS, IMAGINE THIS: kuusuke gets into serious trouble. kusuo is pissed off in a cold fury sort of way, and wreaks all sorts of hell in order to get kuusuke out. and kuusuke… well, kuusuke has never cared about anyones feelings for a single second in his life, but!! but maybe!!! this incident stirs up feelings other than competitive admiration and jealousy!!! this is literally like 99% of the reason i want to write this idea

kuusuke: my brother… really cares… about me…kusuo: like hell i do. i just need you to find a way for us to get back home.kuusuke: no need to be so tsundere, kusuo, 

SCENARIO: kusuo and kuusuke are meeting with the heroes for some reason. kusuo is mistrustful, wary, and wants to leave and have nothing to do with the heroes. kuusuke tells the heroes not to mind kusuo, he’s basically just a bristly cat. kusuo bristles, because he is NOT. fuck off kuusuke 

there’s just a really interesting dynamic that could come out of this, and it’s really good 

SAIKI KUSUO / OPM AU THAT NO ONE ASKED FOR: saiki somehow loses both his control devices, teleports to the OPM universe, accidentally destroys a large swath of land because he can’t control his powers. he’s frustrated, and he’s also frustrated with all the people showing up to attack him – and he’s so frustrated that he can’t control his power enough to defeat them without seriously hurting them!!! saitama shows up and is able to withstand saiki’s attacks. maybe he tries to fight saiki a little bit because,,, hey,,, he wants a good fight,,,,,, but then he’s like “….you’re just a kid??” and stops 

“hang on,” the bald man says, frowning and leaning forward slightly to inspect kusuo’s face. “aren’t you a little young to be destroying countries or whatever? you’re like, a kid.” i’m SEVENTEEN, thank you very much, saiki thinks resentfully. 

so i guess this is the one where saitama stops trying to fight saiki and starts teaching him how to control his powers or something? maybe saiki can finally sleep without worrying about destroying stuff in his sleep? 

this post is unbearably long