#this is about nurse parallel PMHNP :)

[talltalepenpal]

seriously never kill yourself. there are songs to listen to. and the songs will make you want to pursue a career in psychology and hug your friends and ask for help when you need it and take your medications and shower every day with nice smelling soaps and go outside and listen to the birds. and say thank you to people who give you things . and put on clothes that make you feel like you are looking at you in the mirror. cry when uou need to and think about ladybugs and rotate 3D spiders in yiur brain. Thank you for being here lisyen to music

[redcomet-stims]

Content warning: medical themes

⚕️🌈🩺 Song-inspired stimboard: Nurse Parallel, PMHNP by Weevildoing :)

Thank you, Weevildoing, for creating this work of art. I really don't know how to put it into words properly. I'm incredibly grateful that I get to see this project come to a close, and I am grateful to have watched it grow and progress.

If I recall correctly, I think I started listening to TPTM/Weevildoing during the gap between Caliber and Faineant Girl? But that doesn't exactly matter. All I know is that I've been following this album for a while, and it has helped me through my struggles with my own mental health and is one of the reasons I keep going.

I see myself in and resonate with quite a few of the girls (mainly Splitter and Chemical), and their songs and stories put feelings I failed to describe into words. To see these girls get a happy ending is almost like seeing me get a happy ending, in a sense. It feels like a weight taken off my shoulders. It gives me hope for my future. Music is beautiful like that.

Along with that, the lyrics of this song itself already hit really hard for me. I've been struggling to understand myself and grow past my mistakes, but I'm slowly getting better. The lyrics feel like some of the things I've been trying to feel about myself. I want to be able to look at myself and see a future, and I want to feel a genuine sense of hope. I'm already working towards that, but this song is only helping me, because it's kinda telling me what I struggle to tell myself and telling me the same words I pushed away when I was struggling the most.

To see this song come out during a period of my life where I'm trying to improve myself is kinda amazing, because the first 9 songs were there for me when I was at my lowest and this last one is helping me see an extra light at the end of the tunnel. This entire project has been an important part of my life, not only in the past, but as of recent as well. I can't express how grateful I am to have this music in my life and to have it help me bring some hope and understanding into my life.

Once again, thank you for making this music. I can't wait to see what comes next.

Sources:

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[rosy-eyedsweetpea]

Well, @captain-ravioli7321 made a list of TPTM songs that almost made or did make them cry, so… I’ll do the same thing!

Slight trauma-dump, maybe? Throwing my feelings and guts out in the open air.

8th: Disposable Girl — “I wanna hate them, I really fucking do. / But if you were in my place, you would hate yourself, too. / What to do when the world feels like it’s only been against me. / When everybody that I’ve loved has only up and left me?”

Firstly: I was the Weird Kid™ my whole life. Secondly: I’ve had my COMMUNICATIONS’ Kennith Simmons moments since I was nine-years-old. And thirdly: … the last line hits home.

7th: Chocolate-Box Girl — “you picked me, out of everyone. / You did it all, for what? / Some twisted kind of fun? / I’ll never get you.”

She is the Girl I least relate to, SO WHY THE STARS DOES THIS LINE MAKE ME SO UPSET?! I guess the way she sings it…

6th: Taxidermy Girl — “clean yourself for consumption, but don’t ever let yourself be consumed. / Organs for reproduction, organs that must remain unused.” “So skin me, flesh me, tan my hide, and render me preserved. / My plastic eyes brimming with shame. / Remove the viscera containing deviance unheard. / To be a girl is to be game.” “Blatant hypocrisy of animality, eating out of your hands whatever you’ll give me. / Don’t wanna be a cadaver, wanna be free, but a cage is the basis of femality.”

I was so damn sure Mayra was AFAB. This just describes my experience being AFAB, the whole song are thoughts I’ve had (note: I’m aroace.) This song didn’t sadden me as much as it terrified me because of how blinding accurate this is.

5th: Caliber Girl — “The ideals that I knew turned out to be a siren call. / … If I can’t be perfect, I don’t wanna be anything at all.”

Emotional repression. The “gifted kid” thing becoming a nightmare. Feeling that, if I can’t be perfect in everything I do, I should just give up. Having absurd standards to myself, comparing myself to everyone and everything… AND THE WAY SHE SINGS THE LAST PART!

4th: Refraction Girl — “And I’m unsure of where I came from, but no need to know. / Because I know where I’ll be going, I’ll be going home. / I’m going alone, under soil and stone.” “What’s left when life isn’t for me? Don’t tell me that you feel sorry. / This is all part of the story.”

The feeling of wanting to go home, feeling you don’t belong? Just feeling all alone, no matter where you are. I just want to go home, but I can’t quite explain what home is. I’ve never really felt there.

3th: Fainéant Girl — “It’s written down on paper, you can’t call yourself a faker.” / “They don’t tell stories about people like me, ‘cause what is there to tell? / 5PM naps and childproof caps; my best friends, Adderall and Elavil.” / The ENTIRE “tired” segment of the song. / The entire ending of the song.

It’s easy to say that the whole song just felt like a slap. My situation isn’t as bad as Freyja’s, but this still hurt. This song just pulls at my heartstrings. The way she sings it is so… tired.

2th: Chemical Girl — “This is no place of honor, the danger’s to the soul. / My core is falling apart, I’ve lost all my control. / If I am a reactor, I will accept the role. / This is no place of honor, I wanted you to know. / There’s no point in getting close. / Leave me alone, leave me alone.”

The way she says “this is no place of honor, I wanted you to know” just feels like an outright apology for being this way, for existing. I know the feeling of the song all too well, just wanting to be left alone because I am terrified of hurting others again. I lightly cried with it, the way she sings the last lines just feels desperate.

1st: Nurse Parallel (PMHNP) — “I won’t say that it’s easy, you don’t have to believe me. / But I believe in you!” / the entire chorus, full-stop. / All the Girls’ lines at the end + just… the images of the Girls, in general.

What if I sobbed? Oh, that’s right, I lost count with how many times I sobbed hearing this song. I still can’t sing it without starting to sob as soon as the first pre-chorus happens. I’ve never felt more comforted by a song than this!

So… what do your lists look like?

[gigglebone6]

ending of TPTM making me connect way more dots to my other interests cause what if. What if Nurse Parallel, PMHNP could be interpreted as being about characters who are post/mid-redemption like Petey and Flippy and the characters who helped them like Lil Petey and how even after they were redeemed they still had slip-ups, but are still on the way to recovery despite not being perfect. thank you for coming to my TEDtalk