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#this is just basic self preservation ok. if youre a small 'girl' you learn very young to be careful with these things. ok.
orcelito · 1 year
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So I found out upon checking my email this morning that the therapy appointment isn't in the health building like I thought, but rather in the basement of a boy's only dorm further north
Which brings up two problems: that's even further away than I'd accounted for, and I find it SUPREMELY uncomfortable to go to a boy's only dorm for therapy, even if the office is in one of the general areas.
I'd already been conceding on the matter of agreeing to talk to a man, since I'm generally uncomfortable with talking to men I don't know, but it was the soonest appointment I could get... so I agreed to it, but finding out it's in the boy's only dorm is just Too Much. Not only would it make it even harder to get there, but my skin just kinda crawls thinking about baring my fuckin heart in a place so thoroughly meant for guys. Like it's a place I don't belong, which REALLY does not help give the comfort kinda required of such an appointment.
I called the office asking if the appointment could be set up on zoom (bc it mentioned it in the email), but the therapist was staunch on it being in-person, so I rescheduled with a different person for the 13th. Bc if this dude isn't gonna be understanding with my discomfort with the location, like fuckin hell I'm gonna let myself be emotionally vulnerable with him. Bet he was thinking I was being too picky like "Oh it's a stupid Girl who can't handle being around Men" like sorry I have a healthy fear of guys I don't know 😋😋😋😋😋 if U have a problem with it then change society so talking to unknown men doesn't feel like walking in a minefield. Thanks.
#speculation nation#so. no appointment today. i asked the receptionist just to be Sure of the location for the one next week#and yeah it's not gonna be in a fucking boy's only dorm#genuinely why the hell did they schedule me with someone there. ugh.#bit of a bummer but i do feel like i dodged a bullet#bc if the dude isnt gonna be understanding about this. why would he be understanding about other things?#bc ultimately this comes down to an accomodation for anxiety. he may think it's senseless but it's real to me.#being around men i dont know is just so uncomfortable. makes me so nervous. and Especially at a boy's college dorm...#if the guy cant concede to that then i cant trust him to be understanding of my other Issues. so it's better like this.#really fuckin annoying though. but i cant say i'm disappointed to have the extra time in my morning.#so it's... fine. i'll manage. im just vaguely disgruntled by it all.#negative/#Probs. im certainly complaining enough.#& pls dont come at me with the 'not all men' shtick. i Know majority of men are just normal people#but even among normal men i sometimes just feel like a hunk of meat to them#once i know a man & know hes not gonna try to hit on me or be creepy to me then i'm just fine#but unknown men. anything could happen. even an okay man could make me uncomfortable if he's overly friendly or hits on me#this is just basic self preservation ok. if youre a small 'girl' you learn very young to be careful with these things. ok.#anyways so that's My morning lol. ugh
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sasuhinasno1fan · 3 years
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‘Secret Relationship’ - Lukadrien June Day 26
My mind went to Hart of Dixie when I read the prompt so yeah. Lemon was a lot to deal with so I felt like Chloe would be her but they have redemption arcs, don't worry. And hey, she and Zoe get along here, so it's ok. Secret Relationships
He didn’t have to say anything, really. As much as he loved this small town, for some reason, it didn’t love him back. Even though he grew up with summers here, helping his mom in the practise and hanging out with Chloe, when he left for a few years to become a doctor and try and land a residency, everything changed. Chloe was ten times more intense and her overprotectiveness of her half-sister and hatred of her mother made her unbearable, nothing like the girl he remembered. People seemed to think he was a completely different person that the very idea of him being their friend was something to be scared of. Like now, he’d been secret friends with Sabrina, helping her gain more confidence to stand up to Chloe - who he’d hope would eventually talk to him and explain why she was acting the way she was – and she’d been chosen as Memory Matron, basically a person who ran the town’s traditions and tried to preserve a few old historic buildings. Chloe of course wanted it and was obviously upset, but Adrien was proud of Sabrina for taking charge. He’d been hoping it would mean they could hang out in public but she said she couldn’t since most people in the town ‘hated him’. It still hurt to hear and see, after calling this small town his home, and not just because his mother was one of the doctors.
When his parents split and his mom was busy with the divorce, the town practically came together to help raise him until he had to go back to his dad, the unfortunate part of the deal between them. he’d been in Paris for a few years, hoping to get high up before coming to help his mom out. His mom had been sick during then and made those who knew, promise not to tell him and leave before he could get his fellowship. When he got here, his mom was on her deathbed and the sudden announcement that he’d take over her half of the practise was a surprise and a lot of people thought he choose the job over his mom. Chloe’s dad was his partner and certainly didn’t want to share, there was a minor incident involving a parade float that he got blamed for and apparently delivering a baby at an engagement party was in poor taste. Though, he’d blame that last one on Nath’s mom, since she never got along with his own and she was just passing on the dislike to him.
Point was, here Chloe was, with Sabrina keys, the keychain he’d given her earlier dangling from the ring, and the blonde was looking smug, thinking she was going to get what she wanted after all, basically announcing that he and Sabrina were friends and that was against the law.
He loved Chloe and he might be mad at Sabrina for choosing a position over him, but he wasn’t about to let Chloe win. “My keys!” he got up from his table and practically sprinted to the front of the room, snatching them from Chloe’s hand. “I’ve been looking for these everywhere. Thanks for finding them Sabrina.”
Chloe scoffed. She might hate her mom, but her attitude was fitting her more and more each day. “You have keys with your own name on it? Self-obsessed much?”
“No that’s you. these are keys I made for someone else.” He looked across the restaurant, trying to decide who. It’d have to be a date; the whole town had been gossiping about him dating someone. Finally, he made his decision and walked over to the bar, relishing a little in Luka’s confused expression. “I think it’s time we stop hiding things. Here, it’s for the carriage house. Try not to be late this time.” He grabbed his stuff and left, letting out a breath once he was as far from the Liberty’s Hardrock.
He just told the whole town he was dating Luka, his kinda sometimes annoying neighbour, who had a heart of gold that hide beneath all those piercings and hair dye. There was a minor make out when he moved back, since he’d completely changed and Adrien was a little drunk of wine, then when the heatwave hit and he almost went further and then the moment they shared during Christmas. Adrien wasn’t going to lie, when he was a kid, he thought Luka was the coolest and the years had been very good to him. But he hadn’t been ready to date anyone, his last attempt ended up sleeping with someone before their date could even happen. He wanted to put a pause, but now to protect someone, he was.
He just hoped Luka didn’t kill him for leaving him to answer questions everyone was sure to have.
                                                  ________________
Luka knocked on the door to the carriage house an hour later. Adrien was sent back to the last time Luka knocked on the door, with Nino tagging along to try and find Adrien’s mystery man.
“Hi.” Adrien greeted, taking in the ruffled appearance Luka had compared to the more put together one from before. “What happened to you?”
“Courtesy the very curious towns people. Thanks for leaving me there. Still think you should have let Sabrina sink.”
Adrien let the bartender in and headed back to his bedroom. “I’m not that type of person. I helped Sabrina earn that head place and maybe if appearance didn’t matter so much, things would have been different. That and if the town didn’t think I’d choose a fellowship over my ailing mom.”
Luka dropped himself on the bed next to Adrien. “You know all you have to do is ask Marc and he’d release that recording on the gossip cite.”
“And get him fired from being a lawyer’s assistant, no thanks. I’ll prove it to them myself. Now, I think we need to talk secret relationship. You know as well as I do if we break up way too suddenly, Chloe will know we were lying and Sabrina will pay for it.”
Luka shook his head, clearly wanting to say more but clearly knew when to stop poking. “Alright. What do we say?”
“Ok, why did we hide our relationship? When did we start going out?”
“Started after Christmas. And…” Luka let out a hum, trying to think before he snapped his fingers. “You have a tendance to put others before yourself and since the town is weary of you, you didn’t want to get me in trouble. Me being the town rebel doesn’t care and has been looking for an excuse to spill about this ‘secret relationship’ since we got together.”
“Luka.”
“Hey, you wanted to know what the story is, it’s the one that makes the most sense.”
Adrien shook his head. “I can’t believe I’m doing this. I was supposed to not be dating anyone but thank you for going along with this.”
“You’re lucky your worth it.”
                                                ______________
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you and Luka were dating!”
Adrien listened to Marc talk about what happened last night. he was used to people staring at him but now it was intense. Was him dating someone that big a deal?
“How long has it been going on? Wait, is he the guy everyone’s been whispering about? The one you’ve been so giddy over?”
“Oh, uh, yeah.” He happed to see Chloe, her sister and Sabrina passing by. “Hey, I’m gonna go to the corner store and get ice cream.”
Marc looked confused and glanced at his watch. “It’s like 8 am? Don’t you have to be at the office soon?”
“Like Andre wouldn’t revile in me being a bit late. I’ll see you later!”
Minutes later, Adrien was in the corner store, hiding by the freezers waiting for a head of red hair. Finally Sabrina showed up. He pulled her keys he’d gotten from Luka and passed them to her.
“Here. Luka had to keep the keychain.”
“He deserves it more than me.” Sabrina looked sorry for herself and Adrien had been there when she started crying when they couldn’t be friends anymore. “So I guess it isn’t true? You just did it to protect me?”
“Yeah. I want to be friends with Chloe again, but she’s gonna have to learn not to be so selfish. You deserve this spot. You stood up to her and you proved you’ve got what it takes. I just, I need friends who are gonna stick by me. And I guess Luka is one of them, doing this for me.”
“I know it’s fake but I think you two would be good for each other.”
Adrien shrugged. Would they? Since moving back, even though they could poke each other buttons, he always knew he could count of Luka for help or just be there. Any other person would have asked for something in return, but Luka was different.
‘You’re lucky your worth it.’
He usually said that when Adrien would beg him to do something for him. He wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but he like it when Luka said that, made him feel special.
He left the corner store and almost crashed into Luka, who was being followed by Alya and Marinette, friends of there but also people behind the town’s gossip cite. Adrien could only guess why they’d been following him around.
“Hey, I was just heading to the office.”
“Cool, so I’ll see you at the restaurant for lunch?” Luka asked.
Adrien nodded and before he could even say anything else, Luka had his arms around his waist and his lips pressed against his.
They’d shared a kiss before but it was a memory Adrien didn’t look at with the biggest fondness. This however, was much better.
“I’ll see you later.” Luka whispered against his lips before he was gone. Adrien didn’t even hear Alya and Marinette grill him.
If this was a fake secret relationship, why did it feel so real?
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hamannpearson8-blog · 6 years
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