#this is my first time actually posting something ive writen lol

[rkiveschange]

Mistake

Summary: Y/n and Namjoon kiss but she doesn't know if it meant as much to him as it did to her

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Category: angst with fluffy ending

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Authors note: hey this is my first published story to my blog so... Yeah that's it. This is honestly so random I just got inspiration so I wrote this at 2am lol please excuse any typos I was too tired to double check this and I'm sorry if it's ugly I wrote this on mobile lol

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Word count: idk man but its not too long lol

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Y/n sits quietly next to Namjoon at his desktop, headphones covering her ears as the elder male watches her face for any reactions. He invited her to his studio so she could listen to a draft of his new song

Namjoon and Y/n always showed each other their tracks before anyone else. He always gave her his unbiased opinion and she did the same for him, which Namjoon likes to say is why their tracks always end up the best if the album. Y/n's eyebrows are furrowed as she reads the lyrics he wrote, matching their meaning to the music. And for a moment she closes her eyes and just listens.

Listens to the story of a boy who just wants to find someone to love him for him, a boy that wants to love himself and another, a boy that is so insecure he can't do either. It hurts Y/n so much to hear the lyrics of pain he wrote when Y/n she knows these are coming from Namjoon. She knows her best friend enough to know that the story is about him. To know that he deserves the world and it breaks her heart that she can't give it to him. For a brief moment she feels the strong need to cry but she pushes is down as far as she can.

"Don't cry," Namjoon says and brings his thumb up to wipe away a single tear that fell from her eyes. Maybe she didn't push the tears far enough. Y/n laughs, opens her eyes, glassy with tears and blinks them away a few times "Ah Namjoon you know I hate crying you should have warned me before hand that this song would be so sad." He laughs with her as she takes the head phones off her head leaving her with messy hair. Namjoon reaches up and fixes the top of her hair "you have such a fragile heart, it's cute" he jokes.

His hand traces a piece of hair that fell in front of her face and trails down to her cheek, cupping it softly. The atmosphere turns serious and for a full minute Y/n and Namjoon are just staring into each others eyes.

Y/n feels like she can see into his soul. She can see the person that no one else gets to see and for some reason she wants to cry again. But she doesn't. She just continues to stare into his eyes wondering if he can see into hers as she does his.

And suddenly Namjoon's lips are on hers. He's so warm and soft that Y/n melts into him like butter, as if this were a natural occurrence for them. Namjoon's hand is still cupping her face and his other slowly moves to her waist, pulling her in closer to him. Their lips feel so perfect together, like they were made for each other. It's such a beautifully warm feeling in her stomach Y/n can swear that she's never been so happy before. Because she of course is taking this as a sign that Namjoon might just return his feelings for her.

But they’re cut short when the door opens and they are forced to pull away.

"Oh my god," a very surprised Hoseok stands in the door with a very flustered Jimin next to him, red as a tomato. "Sorry, we should have knocked. Sorry," Jimin moves to close the door but Namjoon stops him panicked "no no it's fine it was nothing. It was a heat of the moment thng. Right, Y/n?" The weight of her heart has never felt heavier as Y/n looks at Namjoon with such pain filled eyes that it makes the pair in the door way feel guilty.

She wants to tell him no, that this wasn't a heat of the moment thing and that she loved him so much it scared her sometimes. But she just nods her head, not trusting her voice to mask her heartbreak. She gets up from her chair and mumbles "I should go" so quietly it was barely heard. She leaves the room as fast as she can amid ignores Namjoon's voice calling after her to run to the isolation of her studio.

The place she's cried in so many times it's the only place it feels right.

God she feels so stupid right now. So stupid to fall for him and so fucking stupid to think that Namjoon could ever love her back. She let's the tears fall and grabs the big blue koya plushie Namjoon gave her for her birthday to muffle her sobs. It hurt so much to feel like this. Like the only person you could ever love doesn't return the feelings. She doesn't even love herself yet she can love Namjoon. This, Y/n tells herself, this is exactly why I keep a wall up. The only person she ever let in just broke her heart so easily. She lifts her head to get a clean breath of air without a toy blocking the way but she just can't stop crying.

She hears a knock at the door but she ignores it until a soft voice comes from behind the door "Y/n it's me, can I come in?" It's Namjoon, of course it is but she can't see him right now. Not in this state of mind. "Please," she says through her tears "just leave me alone." She waits for a response and when there is none she goes back to sobbing quietly into her pillow. Y/n gets up from her desk chair and throws herself onto the futon in the back corner of her room. She turns her phones notifications off and turns on her sad playlist so she could cry out all her feelings. Soft songs lull her closer and closer to sleep as her eyelashes begin fluttering open and closed. Soon enough she's fallen asleep to Taehyung and Namjoon's voices singing Four o'clock.

When Y/n awakes she's not in her studio. She's confused but then she sees Hoseok in the bed across from her and she immediately knows she's in Jimin's bed. She doesn't remember coming here and she's still in her clothes from yesterday so surely someone brought her here. "Oh you're awake." Y/n turns to the voice and sees Jimin sitting up in his rumpled sleep clothes. She just nods and sits criss cross with her stuffed penguin in her lap "how-" she clears her throat "how did I get here?" Jimin gets up from his bed and sits across from Y/n "well when I went to your studio to check on you, you were asleep so I just brought you back to the dorm because I knew your back would hurt if I didn't." Y/n looks at him skeptically "why didn't you just wake me?"

"I tried but you just hit my hands away and whined!"

Y/n smiles as Jimin mimicks her voice and she smacks him on the leg "okay I get it now shush!" He hands her his coffee that was sitting on his nightstand and she gives him an 'are you serious' look because Jimin knows she doesn't drink coffee. He just rolls his eyes and pushes it to her lips and then she realizes it's chocolate milk. "Do you want to talk about what happened between you and Namjoon last night?" Jimin asks while Y/n's still sipping the chocolate milk. She swallows and glares "Didn't Namjoon already tell you? It was nothing." Jimin rolls his eyes again and hits her shoulder lightly "it was most definitely not nothing, Y/n. Namjoon would never kiss you if he didn't feel something for you and you know it."

Y/n sighs "no Jimin I don't. I've known him for almost five years and he's never done that before. He never does things and then takes them back. That's why i-" she cuts herself off and outside down the mug "that's why I was so shocked and hurt. Because kissing me was a mistake to him."

"No it wasn't."

Y/n looks past Jimin and sure enough Namjoon is staring in the doorway. "You were not a mistake," he says again as Jimin gets up to leave the room and Namjoon takes his place on the bed "I didn't regret kissing you at all, Y/n. I just panicked and said the first thing that came to mind. But I didn't mean that at all. It wasn't just a heat of the moment thing." He takes Y/n's hand in his "I love you, Y/n. I should have told you the moment I realized my feelings but I didn't want to risk ruining what we had. I'm sorry what I said hurt you, but please I do love you." Y/n stares at their hands until Namjoon tilt her chin up gently and leans in until their lips are mere centimeters apart. "I love you too" Y/n breathes softly as a tear falls from her eye and Namjoon finally presses their lips together.

The kiss is so sweet and so passionate it makes butterflies flutter in Y/n's stomach. They share a beautiful moment together before someone comes by to ruin it "hey if you're going to sleep with your girlfriend do it on your own bed, hyung." They pull away to laugh and Y/n realizes her eyes are still watery.

"I hate crying"

she laughs and Namjoon wipes the tear that escapes her eye. "Don't worry, I'll always be here to wipe them up," he smiles and Y/n giggles letting him go in for another kiss.

"Seriously, hyung! Take it to your own bed!"

"Jimin shut up."

"Fine but you're buying me new sheets."