#this is really just me cataloging my mental breakdown in the form of screenshots

[forestwater87]

CULT CAMP MASTERPOST PT 3: DAVID DAVID DAVID DAVID DAAAAAVVIIIIIDDDDD

I’m sick and in pain. I cannot hold a conversation, work on my writing, or even watch TV. But you know what I can do?

Scream. Scream and scream and screeeeaaaaaam. We shall put the cicadas to shame on this fine June evening.

Again, as with the previous posts, there will be spoilers for season 2 ep 1. They’re under the cut. You know the drill. 

Join me as I shriek incoherently into the void, mmkay?

David’s (bro?)crush on Daniel, guys. Max has no patience for it, but it’s my favorite thing in the entire world right now.

You know what? I thought this was funny. I know Dolph is one of the least popular characters, but he’s never bothered me much and look at his little cute face. Also look at Neil’s little cute face. There are lots of little cute faces here.

I just adore these kids, and they’re especially entertaining when terrified. More traumatized children!

The fact that QM is the only one (besides David) not to get brainwashed makes me bizarrely happy. Not very helpful in a crisis, though.

He also has the best line of the episode. I will not be argued with on this one.

Can we just appreciate the way the sky gets redder as Daniel ups the creepy factor?

“I’ve had it up to here” -- literally Max’s height. David has exactly Max amount of patience (yes, it’s a unit of measurement now) and it’s all used up today.

You know how I kept saying this post would be full of David faces? And how the previous parts of this bad boy failed to deliver? That’s because they were being saved for now. This post is just ass-full of David, because all of his best faces were kept in the ass end of the episode:

His little eyebrows! They’re so delightfully expressive. 

Poor Max. This is why he avoided caring so much in the first season: look where it gets him.

(Real-world advice, btw: Don’t be David. “Don’t be David” is just a good motto to live by in general, but especially in this kind of situation, err on the side of listening to the children. They’re vulnerable and the only thing they can do is turn to you.)

Don’t be David. Don’t make the sad little boy’s face look like this.

The moment when Max decides he is done with your shit.

Can we just talk for a moment about how awesome these two are? They have the best expressions in the show and they come out the most when interacting with each other.

Also can we talk about the weird Hazmat shit in the background?

I’d once again like to direct everyone’s attention to David’s face. Ahem:

Lookit his sad little mouth! He has such a purdy mouth Okay that sounded much less prison-shower-y in my head. Moving on.

David lying to himself that everything is fine: the best. The worst, I mean, because it makes me wanna cry forever, but also the best. (I’m really sick, okay? It’s hard to come up with comments when I’m sick.)

This sad little sunshine boy. Max keeps insisting on breaking him and I hate it so much. That being said, Max’s face in that last picture is perfect.

Below is a collection of faces that will be accompanied by no commentary, because I have nothing to say. If you’d like, just scroll through these while screaming “DAAAAAAVVEEEYYYYYY” over and over again at the top of your lungs. That’ll really give you the full Forestwater Experience.

Interrupting to point out that he’s so shocked! Like it isn’t his own imagination. David, get ahold of yourself you dork. 

Anyway, back to shrieking: DAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

EEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

Better? Good. Get ready for yet more David:

Hey, did you know David can do an excellent impersonation of Beeker from the Muppets?

Uncanny.

This man is the physical embodiment of the word “bunny.” He is fluffy and bouncy and soft and I want to protect him.

FEAR THE ANGRY BUNNY

ANGRY BUNNY WILL FUCK YOU UP

(Also let’s be real: everyone assumed David would beat Daniel to death with the guitar, right?)

But instead we got FURIOUS ACOUSTIC GUITAR PLAYING. IT IS MOST INTENSE!

He’s so smug! Look at his proud little smile and swoon.

Also David's diss tracks are entirely compliments. We know you’re an asshole, just own it!

There are no words. Just screams.

(I have now taken meds for my cold, which means the following comments are a little less illness-impaired and a lot more drugged. You will probably notice no change.)

Remember when I said we’d see how awesome the animation is later in the episode? We’re there. Look at how awesome this is. It’s like . . . shading and stuff. I don’t know how art works, but it’s cool.

“You’ve sung my praise but not your own / and well, I think that’s pretty telling”

Look at how he shrinks in on himself at that line, how he hunches his shoulders and looks away. 

LOOK AT IT AND SCREAM WITH ME, MY CICADAS.

This animation is good. This is good good animation.

IT’S SO DRAMATIC AND BEAUTIFUL!

David’s Fighting Stance. With his I Really Don’t Enjoy Fighting and Would Prefer We Talk This Out (and Hug) Eyebrows.

Every time I put another picture in here, the post zooms up to the top and makes me scroll all the way back down, like it’s asking “are you sure you wanna keep making this thing longer? Look at how long this is and really think about what you’re doing. Is this what your life has become, Forest?”

The answer is yes. 

I regret nothing.

Anyway, the evil has been vanquished, I’m basically out of David faces, and everyone looks excited.

Also how did Max’s hair get like that? Who ruffled the Max?

But we’re not done, because GUESS WHO’S BACK, BITCHES?!

YAYYYYYYYYY! I missed her!

“DAVID, FIRE THAT FUCKING WEIRDO! :D”

Her words and facial expressions never match and it’s my favorite thing about her.

Chipper Gwen is everything that is good and pure in this universe, and I’m glad the episode decided to remind us of that at the last minute.

And that’s episode 1! Will I do this for every single one? Probably! Is that a good idea? Absolutely not! Play us out, kids!