#this is very angry ranting about my illness and the medication problems and doctor bullshit i have been through the past few days

[badger-bear]

i am still reeling from this information i found out and i already ranted to victoria and my husband but fuck that wasn’t enough. im so fucking frustrated and angry and a little heartbroken? i have been experiencing a progressively worse ibs flare over the past few months. it finally came to a head last week and i was able to go to the doctor the other day which was the worst fucking appointment. it’s gotten to the point where i can’t work and will not be back on the schedule until the new year. i am using up the rest of my vacation pay.

i tell the doctor what’s been going on. she asks how long and im like lol weeks my dude and she asks me if i have tried Y medicine and i say no and she explains what it is and that it will stop the flare and if it doesn’t, then something else is happening and i will need to do more tests. i specifically ask if i can take my normal medication (X) with Y and she says yes, take both. i then explain i want a work accommodation to work only 4 hours because i cannot get through a 5 or 6 hour shift and she says you can’t work that long? and i say no because i am having to leave early due to being ill or in pain and she says and you still want this even if the medicine works? your PREFRENCE is to work the 4 hours? and im like.....i mean yes i don’t know if this is going to work and i am struggling and i can change the accommodation at any time, i just want it now. she says she can’t give me the letter because she is the NP, it has to be my primary care doctor. EXCEPT I HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO SEE MY PRIMARY CARE DOCTOR CAUSE SHE DOESN’T HAVE ANY APPOINTMENTS. 

so the np does some more tests and laughs when i tell her i am staying as hydrated as possible and i end up leaving the office in tears. i felt like i wasn’t listened to and i didn’t understand the medication and she mentioned a heart murmur but didn’t really explain it? 

okay so fast forward to yesterday, Y medicine isn’t working. it worked for like six hours and that was it. so i message NP and was like hello Y isn’t working and i do not feel comfortable taking it because it is an opioid. what is the next step? she gives me next step and tells me to keep taking Y medicine. except Y medicine makes me drowsy and i can’t drive or do anything when i take it!!!!! i might be nearly shitting my pants everyday but i still want to be able to go to the library or work with my nephew. 

ugh so anyway!!! what i found out today is that my husband called office to figure out my prescription for X because it hasn’t been filled. TURNS OUT I CAN’T TAKE X AND Y TOGETHER SO THEY STOPPED MY PERSCRIPTION FOR X. when i fucking asked the NP if i can take x and y together. my husband was in the room. THIS IS WHY HE ATTENDS THE APPOINTMENTS WITH ME. i dont want to take y so guess waht? im back to taking fucking store brand immodium until i can call the office on monday and advocate for myself. im not going to fucking take an opioid that isn’t even fucking working. im exhausted. i have never been so angry at a doctor before. i feel like i have been gaslit and not listened to and im fucking over it.

[one-hell-of-a-bi]

Oh shit, that's so much worse than my problems. I am SO sorry you're going through that level of help. D: But if you can get somebody to listen at all, a lupus test might be good to at least rule it out. Osteoarthritis was what we suspected at first for me, and honestly I probably have a few arthritic joints on top of the lupus. But I really hope you get decent care and people who actually listen to you soon, because that is such major bullshit.

Thank you, cuz yeah it’s def total bullshit. I am seeing my primary doctor again in a couple weeks and when I do I’m gonna bring up what the pain specialist said and I’ll mention lupus and other tests and see what he says. The longer I’ve seen him the more nice he’s been and I dunno what that says about him but as long as he is listening and helping I don’t really care. 

Tbh tho the worst part is the pain management place. I know that the opioid addiction crisis is bad but it seems like the response has been to make disabled people suffer and it’s not actually solving any problems. Like it has been proven that the people who become addicted are overwhelmingly not disabled people who need these meds everyday, but people who are injured and have been prescribed too many of them them short term since all that Big Pharma is interested in is prescribing them as much as possible so they can make money.

But in response what has happened is that they are putting rules in place as to what pain patients can be given and it is hurting us. Because my pain is bad. Depending on what I do my average pain level is usually a 5-6 and can spike as high as 9 if I have to push myself. I need these pain meds to help me sleep and to make it so that I can function day to day. 

I also have debilitating anxiety that has symptoms that are almost on par with my pain. When my anxiety is bad enough I will stay up as late as possible until I legit cannot keep my eyes open because if I try to sleep at any other time I have anxiety attacks. I can be irritable for weeks at a time and have severe chest pain that lasts just as long. And when I have anxiety attacks, which more often than not happen when I am out in public, my symptoms are hellish. I start crying and hyperventilating, and my heart rate skyrockets to dangerous levels. When it gets bad enough I start disassociating so severely that I legit cannot process external stimuli at all(when I think back on such attacks I can’t really remember seeing anything properly, everything is either blury or weird colors or both and I can’t even hear) and so I def NEED this medication. I cannot function properly without it. (And to describe how bad my anxiety gets once when I was out of it and couldn’t get anymore I was having an anxiety attack before work but knew I couldn’t call out so I legit fucking took a shot of rum to help me calm down. Without this crucial med I would turn to drinking to relieve my anxiety. And that is not a fucking healthy option.)

And now I have to choose. Either have the medication that keeps my pain at a manageable level or have the medication that manages my debilitating anxiety symptoms. And as a side note I have tried lots of different long term anxiety medications and none of them work and anxiety like the attacks and long term symptoms I have are nearly impossible to “mindfulness” my way out of, believe me I have tried. The meds I am on currently are the only ones that have ever worked. So I legit have no idea what to do. And it’s so fucking unfair.

Like not to shame addicts in any way I know lots of people who have become addicted to lots of different things and it def is a disease and needs to be addressed, but I have NEVER shown any signs of addiction or abuse on my meds. The anxiety med they gave me is addictive, it’s a benzodiazepine, but they have me on a low dose and I only take it when I absolutely need it. I have never sold it or taken more than I need or given it away or anything. I am also on another controlled substance, a medication for my ADHD. And once again, no signs of addiction or abuse, I’ve never sold it or given it away or taken more than I need. The same with my current pain meds which are an opioid. 

I have done everything I can to be trustworthy and honest because it is the only way to get the meds I need, and since I have seen so many other people with addictions I am VERY careful because I don’t want to go down that path. It’s part of the reason that despite my current psyche office having an official policy of not prescribing benzodiazepines  they made an exception for me. But no, since other people become addicted because of Big Pharma I have to fucking choose between two medications I fucking NEED to function. 

Plus the fucking lady at the clinic was already treating me like an addict. I told her that I hadn’t taken my anxiety meds in a long time despite needing them because I was scared since if I take them too close to my opioid it can kill me and she still was acting all suspicious like she didn’t believe me. She even said “If you ever feel the urge to take the meds you need to tell me, we have to be honest with eachother, ok?” And I was like??? Bitch??? I don’t fucking “feel the urge” to take my meds, I need to fucking take them because my brain is sick. You wouldn’t describe me taking my adderall or my emergency inhaler as “feeling the urge to take it” because I fucking need them to exist as a normal human being. When someone is sick and needs medication they are not an addict, they are SICK. 

Tbh I think when I go back I’m just gonna tell her that I choose to take the anxiety meds. Cuz yeah the opioids help but I can deal with extreme pain. I cannot deal with my anxiety. But I’m kinda worried that she won’t let me because if it is a bulging disk I’m probably gonna need surgery and if I do I will have to take pain meds to recover and if so she won’t let me have my anxiety meds. I honestly hope it is a disk thing despite none of my other doctors agreeing with her just so I can get this all over with and be allowed to have my anxiety meds again. Cuz this really is such bullshit and I don’t deserve to be treated this way when my only crime is having a disability and mental illnesses. 

Anyway, sorry for the rant, this is just really frustrating and I am getting really close to being done with everything. I am tired and angry and feel like crying all of the time and I can’t have a life because of all of the appointments and pain and I just wish one fucking doctor would actually listen and help me or at least assure me that everything is gonna be ok instead of treating me like this. Thanks for the message of positivity, it means a lot

[throwingideasatthewall]

Clone Wars    Episode 17

       Blue Shadow Virus

Inter-      sting

[Title   Scene]

[Quote: Fear    is the   disease,        Hope       is      the     only    cure

Acc    oun     tab-    Okay

Battle   Droids

Narrator         is      on      point      again

   Uhm

   Wasn’t        This       Estab     -lished

     I’ve      already       given        my     thoughts        on        the     ‘peaceful     planets’        thing

   Need        to        be       more     accountable

    Neat           Looks.     Cool

    High          Alert.

    When            is          it         not?

     What’s         with          the         look?

       It      wouldn’t      matter        so      much...

    Nvm

    Just       weirds         me         out           a         little  

     Also,       yeah,     she        is        a     senator      now

   Aha

  That    makes        A       Lot         Of       Sense

  Mean-   while

  Even     graver      threat

   Aight

  Okay

   This        is      what      we’re      doing

    My      lady

   That’s         a      different       look

    [Was           is       expecting        her      normal      uniform           or        her    handmaidens      thing;          It works;      just confused         About          the      protocol

If it’s a separate planet   do you wear the     handmaiden     (robe)     thing?

But then   the     senator...

[i’m just really curious    about    clothing]

  Only      the       three

  Okay,

  That     makes     sense

    I     was     about        to       say...

  ‘Amidala        kicks         ass         but           I        don’t        think        she’s         the        one        you     wanna      have      fighting        in       the       war,’

     I      really       like       this    character,         they        got        her        tone        more         so        right

    Clearly      knowing        she      could            fix        the      problem        but     deciding         to      blame     someone       else

    In        a       ‘make       someone       else       deal       with           it’     gesture          (Even         if         it         is         a       little    wobbled)

  Liking        it          a      lot      better

   Then       the       Pho-    quasi-              Adult         Thing

    Amidala         unfortunately         Borders         Close             To

      With           the            I’m          -an-             adult-           but-            not-       accountable

       Which                No                if             she’s               an             adult;                    She                is         accountable              and           therefore                  an              enabler

              Not                  Cute

               A                 few               battle                 droids                  won’t                    be                 enough

Yeah,        no,       duh,          it’s         a         war            Queen         saw            a           few          battle          droids              and          flipped                out

          That’s                 a                scouts              sighted                      in                   the                   area                   report                     and                    that’s                       it

                 Also                     this                       is                     what                       I’m                      talking                        about 

                       Right                             there                            was                               an                                  up                                  swell                                   in                                  music

                                 To                                  portray                                    innocence

                                  When                                        in                                       reality                                          it                                          should                                        probably                                            be                                        something                                              a                                             bit                                            more                                            somber,                                               bit                                               more                                              struggling                                                  ‘do                                                    I                                                     want                                                     to                                             conscientiously,                                                  enable                                                    this?’                                                   Instead                                                       of                                                        ‘this                                                         is                                                        new                                                         and                                                       surprising                                                    information!’                                                                  Generally speaking,                                                                       her                                                                     tone                                                                        and                                                                       the                                                                     music                                                                        are                                                                        bit                                                                        too                                                                        light

                                                                      Could                                                                            use                                                                            more                                                                            base

                                                                         Can’t                                                                            make                                                                                 me                                                                            feel                                                                               for                                                                         Enabler                                                                           Amidala                                                                                (if                                                                            she                                                                                  is                                                                         supposed                                                                                  to be                                                                                an                                                                              adult)

                                                                            (If                                                                                they                                                                              were                                                                              going                                                                                for                                                                               child                                                                               soldier                                                                                then                                                                                 the                                                             ��                opposite                                                                                   is                                                                                 true;                                                                                    it                                                                                   needs                                                                                    to                                                                                    be                                                                                     a                                                                                    lot                                                                                       lighter,                                                                                         to                                                                                   denote                                                                                    innocence

                                                                                  And                                                                                         the                                                                                   dialogue                                                                                     really                                                                                     needs                                                                                        to                                                                                        be                                                                                      altered

(Sorry I went on a       rant       there      About      her    chara        cter      it’s     just     been    bothering          Me         for      quite      some       time)

    Just...     don’t        do    quasi-adult;         it’s      creepy

  On with    the story;

   Captain        Ty -phoo

    Also     Jar Jar      Binks            is      here

   Who     knows

   Well I didn’t really cover the last        review       he was              in

      It       wasn’t      character          saving

      But        they        did       show         pro-

   Aight,        This      doctor       bot        is     everywhere

    Must        be      always          on       call

  [I know.        there      might        be     millions        of      copies        of       him       But      this        one      seems    relatively      sentient        and       the          model           looks       relatively    ineffectual)

    (Not to mention        grievous’s         medical           droid..)

        The personality is at least       very convincingly.       programmed

     Retrieve            any      information

     Why is the      Med droid here?

Like...   I know     he’s a droid        ....

  Does no one have a     different      model      droid?

  Some thing        a little less        clanky?

    ....

    They did a       relatively       good job

    Like a pod for maybe the        venting system armor,  being off        (Possibly)

     I     don’t     know     what        I’m     looking       at

    He looks completely fine

    (Looks like he should be standing about     now)

    I mean         maybe          it       was         a     headshot

   But        I     haven’t      seen      that      yet

   But all the date       isn’t stored in the       head,     right?

   Robots aren’t    human beings

   (Except     for      general      grievous)

     He’s a      noticeable       outlier

    Aight

    Ha, he is acting more accountable

 Like an actual sentient   creature

 Whelp

 Also,      see there’s not even a scratch on him!

  Queenie          Here     

was   over   reacting!

   I don’t think they could’ve     brought him       back

(In better shape)

 Like   seriously     what did they use?

Electric?     

water?

(Did she want them to read them their   rights?)

Also, that’s     fair

I mean that’s like an apple sitting on the table

Still acting like a   relatively accountable     character

(I still have no idea   what   generation       he falls in,        But that’s a   constantly   reoccurring.  problem,         Not limited     to his   character?)

   ....

  You brought a bot       to witness a bot       autopsy

    Cruel

(Treat your     roombas     with   respect)

  Permission      denied

    Dick

   Well

   Also that bug is going to be the one that carries the        virus       isn’t it?

  Like, I held my tongue   earlier

   But there is a lot of focus     being        put      on that bug

   So what          Jar-Jar          is        the       cure?

    Also shouldn’t the others   leave?

   Emotional     Manipulation

   (Yeah I know these are robots and they technically     signed up           for        War)

   But...geez

 If...this scene doesn’t wanna make you hug you nearby       roomba

 Medical     Heroics

Whelp

 That      Sucks..

   Off

  Secret

   Geez

    Ow

   Dick

   Off

   Also,        That does     kinda sense for a        child           To             Do

   Whelp  

    Dick

     Also you just got back from the     dead but now he’s dead, for good?

....

Yeah if you killed me multiple     times...

Sorry,

Wow   well he really does act like a child

They got the download eye-movement,       ‘ Feel bad      gesture         Really        Well

   (Shame they can’t do it for the rest of the        characters)

   After

   ...

  It does really make   sense

  Including his awkward     reflection

I really like what they’re doing with    Jar-Jar this episode

Though it begs to differ for   how old is he compared to the Senator?      I thought he Padme and Anakin were somewhere around the same age       group

 (And you can say this is stupid because he was clearly older than Anakin in the movie, but things get   ret-conn       ed            And      he     wasn’t    acting      like        a      child)

     And     Ahsoka’s      generation           was       another       entirely            Where        that           puts         him,             I  don’t know

     Since I’m going with them going with adults for         Anakin and Padme          (Given the initiative)                 Despite this means that the         chancellor can’t              groom him

       If he’s an      adult 

       He can make his own      decisions

      And while it is a         very weird decision     to skip over the 22nd birthday

     It’s not forbidden

    Just         Weird

    (Hope they don’t try to play it off as Anakin being victim of circumstance,  after all the initiative and       free will he            Shows)

       Oof

    [generally speaking I really liked what they did with Jar-Jar’s character, I felt that what they did with the beetle and the bot transition was very smooth, [even if there is no mud on that bot], I just really think they did a good job using Jar-Jar’s character for plot importance, making his character more consistent, And that the writing team for this episode was just very good]

“ I think Jar-jar just figured out where that lab,”

      I mean he did help providing,       information

          But               you were the one that put it together

         Still          seems             to            be               a          child           and       therefore          can’t           do            that

[otherwise        I      have        to      break       out      the    unchildlike]

“They’re planning an attack on Naboo,”

  No shit

   Seriously

   Do you think the   scouting    droids      were just for the scout for     real         estate?     [Not       to     conquer]           We         will      send       two      Jedi,”

    Oh-     so...

   Seriously         is         it       never       not         them?

   Like is there      ever a time he says      I’ll send      two Jedi

   And it’s just like      Mace Windu               and         Luminara?

   Like you know     you’re getting           those         assholes 

      Especially           Obi-wan             Who seems to be esteemed           bitch of the council

         Like he always gets           thrown at the problems           and he never ever             does anything

         And they just seem to do it for                    shits and giggles        Like, “are you going to do anything         interesting this time will         Obi-wan?”

[Not questioning        core conventions]

   Oh gosh,        please no love triangle

   [or I guess maybe it’s ok     since they’re both      adults,  but      please no         Quasi tone]

    Please  

    For the life        of me...

  “ General Kenobi                   and     General Skywalker,”

      Like seriously is it ever          someone else?

    [Alt. ‘No, sorry we can only interest you in a Windu,”]

     [ Seriously           when  ever...

       Relations with a Gungans are a little tense right now

   Okay,          that makes a little sense

   Also       Shouldn’t the Queen be doing some thing?

   Like I know Amidala is from around here

  But She seems to be able to date on the most   recent news

  The thing with the Gungans could’ve calmed down by now by the time they got there

Send them     we will

  I want as much information            as possible

      ‘You didn’t ask this before’

   You just started calling shots

Which is fine

It’s just a little weird with      Queenie sitting        right there

   Maybe get them some virus gear

   That seems pretty    important

[Like...

  I don’t think     they said anything about the virus..]

  Which is kind of a big   deal

 Download any of the   other.  battle droids   memory

Oh yeah     you only checked   one

Also,   you should go to the   Senate?

Wasn’t that     the whole   purpose?

Also - to keep people up-to-date  in case       shit    happens?

   Are       you       sure       that’s       wise?

     He’s right      it is a       stupid        plan

 If you want to be a scout    - sure

     But you’re not really made for     hard-to-hard combat

     [and should probably bring some kind of   virus     protection         gear]

     Because          you        know some bullshit     could go down

  [though I acknowledged it is a bit complete of a    jump given that most of the warfare we’ve seen so far has been combat-to-combat, ship-to-ship,       hand-to-hand,            In biological warfare     [against your own species]      Is a horrific     escalation           We need to bring this man down before he kills our entire species

         [Which he has proven               wanton to do]

 And their reaction is completely     understandable

    Given that the species has likely never heard (/seen biological warfare)

     And might not even know that you can     engineer a       virus

 (Or illness)

 Depending       how     idealistic        this       little      village       was      before      this

 Come      on       Jar-Jar

   Oh     neat

  Also     yeah     bring      the      child      along       with       you

 “Enabling       power         of           love,”      Doesn’t      excuse      actually     enabling         child      soldiers

   Weird        Out          fit

     The tick bugs       are also a bit kind of            weird

         But,            alright

     Inventive

     Whelp 

     Okay

     WTF

    Illnesses

    Then again      it has been leaked for quite a      while

  Don’t think just     rubbing your hands off     will help

  Also,          so the     Gungans       are definitely dead      ,right?

   They live in water      presumably where this stream is going...

   Water...

   It’s not a pretty picture

   Poor      Here

   Also,  so that the whole river is polluted   right?

 Aight,      Go tell someone...

  Oh, hey        they     were       smart

   Off

  Came across the exact same      area?

     I thought...

   I thought they were just going to see like a bunch of angry farmers and put together the pieces

    Like, ok, time to head back to the Senate and get bigger reinforcements,          * didn’t like only two of them drink?

       Not that many

        Or cut off the           pollution         Plague

     Wait         you        knew        there        was         a      plague??

    We’re        not       just      gonna       skip       over       that...

    Like, I would’ve gone with some asshole dumped pollutants in the water and now we got to kick his ass

    Like we went from a parenthetical virus

   To...  

    The plague

    That shit takes time       and a lot of       enabling...?

 And, also we went        to murder       real quick

    Like that farmer has a pitchfork and      is ready to kill

    In like...  five minutes

   Shouldn’t you        be        petitioning a council         right now?

    Or deciding to      nope right out        of society

   Like;          That’s what I would do

     Bullshit’s happening outside          you stay inside

      Whelp

     What the heck,      Lady?!

     You literally attacked someone         for wearing a different color        shirt!

    (Because remember they live right next to       air walkers,  and they been their neighbors for like ever]

    Whelp,           Shit

   “Whatcha thinking,”

     Exactly

    That’s my thoughts

   Like regardless     of what situation you’re      into

   That kind of thinking is never       first to rational thoughts

   She was just down to body someone         regardless of who they are

    And you can’t make me       believe her the victim

  Like...    Tox lady   

    Tox

  Whelp

  Okay      ‘Day

   Lady      you     pounced       on    someone     wearing         a      helmet

   Might’ve       been         a      fashion     statement

  Might’ve their        life      support     system

(Because,  remember, this is a galaxy with multiple different ways is that regularly visit each other on different basis,)

   Like I’m not gonna right   First Contact      rules here

    But if that was Plo        he’d be dead

    Because not all species           are adapted       to other environments

    And you can’t colonizers place and make it hospitable because there’s like  other life

    So, yeah you could’ve       murdered       someone!

     Just dick move lady

    That was just a generally   dick move

   Water

   Why     didn’t      you      just        say      that    instead        of    attempting       to       body       them?

    Like         I           will       never        get      over       how      much        of         a       dick        move      that      was

  (Like that episode with Kid Fisto)

 (Such a dick     !)

  What

   You’re just believing a random person...

   Like she could be a separatist      spy

   Trying to kill     you

   (Like we know she isn’t but seriously)

  Wtf

  Peppe       Bow

  Well, Peppe you just attempted to body a      senator...

How do you even know that they’re her animals?

 You just got here

All you know that she tried to   body you

[i’ll get over the     bodying thing]   

but seriously     not cool

   Ok

 “Mesa Take you,”

   “No,”

Yeah like that’s a bad idea

  Like should’ve send a warning up to the whole colony   and world idea

Like, seriously, Amidala,     shouldn’t you call someone about    that?

“Peppe, you’ll be going home soon,”

 Wait she can’t even go      home?

  Like,      seriously,       how bad is the situation?

  How Tox     is it?

   Theed

   Dude...

   What if she doesn’t live in    Theed?

    Like, does Amidala just have a photographic memory of everyone’s names and facial structure, including the       Gungans?

    Because          she’s        making            a lot           of      assumptions

       And is why     assumed authority       doesn’t work

Aka

   Amidala          being        pretty       tox

     Like that’s a presumed adult      you’re taking authority of it Amidala

       I’m pretty sure she knows not to run towards the    tox...

     Nodded

 Well this got   dark...

 Anything out of the   ordinary

  Whelp

 Lel-lants

  Levilance?

  Leverance (leverage?)

   And seriously what was with that     camera        zoom

  Escort our guests inside

   Why?

   [like I know he’s the Mad science      archetype, and where this is headed, but     like that is a really stupid move

  Like   she has no idea where your hideout is     So just,       invite her in,

   Weird            Not          Of         The       Question        Weird

  Seriously         the     Separtist are just a bunch of     war crimes

  Aight

 Jar-Jar is just the lord of all   conveniences

  Okay, new plan, you got the entrance, grab some guards, come back, beat the shit out of them

      * I know I’m doing the all for accountability and beat the shit out of the asshole yourself but A) Amidala hasn’t an experience any of this bullshit and there’s crossed into severity ‘I’m going to kill all humanity’ territory

       I don’t blame Amidala for her innocence

       Because this is becoming one of those         ‘immediate accountability situations’

     Good job

      I really have no idea how to react to a       virus situation to be      quite honest

 Like how   tox...

  Ha

  Seriously how did you      not hear that?

  Play the victim

   Then       possibly fecking shoot him      (Thinking smart,        not accountably)

   Nope

   ...

  Dude      (Not to   shame,)       But I think       he is        a swamp      creature

    I mean -        we don’t see       anyone else        that looks         like him

    He’s out          Of nowhere

   He doesn’t seem         Kamooin           (Long neck)            But he          doesn’t             seem              quite                ....            Human

         Life

         Aight

         How

          Oh,             He’s a      polite creatin of mass destruction planning to destroy all life, and literally the most toxic

       A demonstration is in order

      Uhm, no

      No thank          you

Dude, you just removed the whole force field for one    vial?

 That is a disaster   waiting to happen?

  Like you obviously shouldn’t fuck around     with things like         that

 - the past

 - what’s beneath the earth’s core

- Earth’s waste products

- human body

- Toxicity     (in general)

“The return of the infamous blue...”

  Wait, infamous...?

  This      shit      has    happened      before??

  “Blue shadow virus,”

   Well if it’s happened before     then you can easily kick it’s ass

   *like I know the        implication is that         he modified it

    But only in a toxic     society would that      work...

   Extinct

  So you use     accountable      practices         to       kill it

   So it isn’t a threat

    Ago

I have given it life

           Tox    

         (The actions  

       not the storytelling)

Like you literally enable    this just because he wanted to screw over            humanity       (Sentience?)

   Humanity on       Naboo?

   It’s a bit weird because I don’t think         Earth is ever brought up

    (Which is good for suspension)

    Taking life

  He’s.... trying

  But... Again

  If.....everything had separate water and food and       General    Accountability          Practices...

 “Poison         The        Gun-gan          Water...”

    So, we’re just going to acknowledge that    right?

  Like       they’re screwed?

 “Yeahyeahyeahyeah”

    Wtf..?

Am I having a     stroke...?

What...      the..      fuck...?

(It sounds like a SpongeBob laugh)

     Heck....?

     Yes...?

   Un-fortunately           What?

     ....

   Improved

    Dude

 Are you trying to get everyone      .. dead?

  (Like I know      that’s the point...)

   But....    ....

  Don’t

Okay, going full mad scientist with the     lightning

  Nice

 Air-born     strain

  Oh, my god there were    multiple problems with that

 But, mainly don’t play      god

 Like lightning can cause    shit

 But...it shouldn’t

 Like, just don’t commit   war crimes  

Specifically against   your fellow man

 Because shit tends to happen     when you do

(Unpredictable]

 Bombs

 Last

Geez that bot reacts worse than general grievous     ’s

  Who is actually quite nice to his bots when      the episode doesn’t demand it

WtF, did you do to the    roomba?

Seriously, we went from 1 to 10 on the   scale

From Yoda and Sidious throwing airplanes at each other

To intentional   biological   warfare

[Break up was rough]

 [Sidious is tox]

 [Yoda isn’t helping]

“ are you insane?”

   No he’s malicious

  ... and you’re an enabler

    Come on kick his ass

   Like, not innocent       here       If he can make it,        you can destroy it.       (Pretty         Much)

      Immediate        accountability                is         hecking            up            my            vibe

         But you’ve seen the shit  kill

         And know that he   caused it

        (Like no one gets brought into a secret lab and thinks ‘oh yeah this is a good situation’)

         So, like it is accountability,          on sight

          And you’re failing

   “ no life forms are immune to it,”

     Then it would’ve killed everyone

    Like this           this is a little bullshit

     Like not only do you live on     the planet

     Having some degree of        compatibility with it

      But...      

   Also wildly different compatibilities and biology

    Secondly, eradicated

   If there’s a problem,          there’s likely a solution right over the corner

    Also       hey      there’s a cure so no problem

   Murdered

      No, she’s right, eradicating

A life form that  can’t produce positivity         (Or has the structure to produce productivity         without the assistance of others)

      Aka; difference between Toxic and non-sentient     /Affable Evil sentient

       And the difference between nonsentient and affable evil

     It’s some kind of non-essential logic

    Meaning it is capable of thought processes that don’t involve eating and or doing (basic maintenance        Survival)

   That shit isn’t alive

      Tox

    Okay

     Poor         Guy

  Bunny      eared        bot

  Superior         Life        Forms           Are        Spreading            Their            Disease

     Dude...         Who seriously gets hit with this shit and doesn’t think I’m going to go take a bath?

    Or you know behave cautiously

(Seriously as noted this requires everyone to be an        idiot)

 And a dick

 (More        Specifically]

   Wipe out the galaxy

     As awful as it   seems,   he is doing this    maliciously

  So I try to (avoid)     using the word          “Idiot,”             Because            a           better       description            is          Unaccountable,             Toxic,             Or         Malicious

    (I don’t let people out of      accountability that easily)

     Like;             no        one         is      innocent         in        the     circumstance

  (Even though he’s the most       toxic)

   Amidala       should          be         snarking        while        doing           it

    Because if everyone is     accountable and          doesn’t          enable this bullshit,                   It             can’t              go                that               far

          What?

        Beautiful

       Beautiful            shot

        Sun         composition

       And         texture

        Very              Nice

  They        really       did         a       good          job

                        Also hey there’s now

                        Also I’ll say what I do                                with Ahsoka -

                                    Please   let her be good

                                     *with everyone else there’s room     for doubt 

                                                                    But with her they specifically call her youngling

                                                                      *and I’m just gonna have to assume everyone else is badly written

 *Excluding       Jar-jar       because        that was very clearly          Operated            And          Managed -          Not to -         Just     have  him be          a       walking disaster pile

    Aight

 Where’s    Senator         Amidala?

   .....?

   And you let her go....?

   He has a point....

Not really...

Assumed   authority      is     bullshit

   But   in   terms     of     the      story

 And Amidala position as    just a senator      Enabler

   And Anakin it is    either being really tox...

   Or...

   Peppe           Bow

   She still     here?

  Are you keeping the girl    hostage?

  Also yeah  ‘I tried to    attack-

*slice*

 I don’t   see   this conversation   going well

Specifically     When      Tox

 ‘They’

 Seriously, no one is questioning the sick   maker?

Like, I don’t think they mentioned that in their report?

 Also yeah she brought the child with    her

 [Amidala-         Enabler-]

  “ You         got        it      master!”

   Again with the    enthusiasm

    They’ve        clearly       never        seen          a       child         in         a     classroom 

  (Or     bothered       to      use      the     memory        of      being           a        child)

    Why didn’t you send someone to look for them?

              Again, Toxic?

             Or, replication of tox orders                  (with too heavy a tone?)

               I don’t know

              And neither                 does the music

              Here’s the thing;           you can’t make me feel for           enablers       

              Here’s the thing I like about      grievous;   

          Particularly my favor                     ite episode;

   Notice how they never betray him as a good     guy?

  Like there was any validity to him turning over?

   And the theme well it had updrifts, never     completely lightened up, with        this            flow              -ery              Non              Sense?         Yeah he got        shit thrown           at him

      And I admit           To “Aww          -ing              A few           Times-     -      But I never questioned        the validity           of the            fact             Or had            any doubts             that               it            was                  of                  his             own            making

          Here                 I’m          constantly          doubting              my         emotions                 to               the           circumstance

            Which                  is                 not                   a                 good                   thing

                When                   writing                      a                    good                      and                 consistent                      story                        ....                         For me to be wondering the                           age of the characters                           .....                    Because                       context                         clues                          should                              key                              me                                  in                                  .....                               Meanwhile we’ve been through (almost) Monotone                                Anakin to voiced-by an adult, acting

                            Acting like what                                 I don’t know

                              Remaining (squarely) in the                                   realm of I-don’t-know                                       What the fuck                                       they’re doing

                                                            Hoping that they aren’t going for the pho- “Teenager”

                                                                     “This is how they talk like”

When no      child       or adult          Has ever             talked         like that             ever

                                Which is disturbing                         when this is supposed to be a                                       “love story”                            (No I won’t touch that with                                 a 50 foot pole)

                               And leaves me questioning                                how I should feel about scenes                                            like this

As     a     possible      allegory        for        the       over   sexualization        of     children

                                                                                                 Or a show or                                                                                                        Anakin                                                                                                        becoming                                                                                                              a                                                                                                             toxic                                                                                                         individual                                                                                                              and                                                                                                             a toxic                                                                                                             adult (partner)

                              I don’t know                                 (Possibly                                   bad                                    writing)                                                            Back to the story

                          “What latest developments?”

      You seriously                    Didn’t            tell them                    about               The               Virus??

          Dude Obi-wan’s bringing his       (possible) child        And Anakin’s          Definite         Child      Apprentice     -        Those    Don’t          have         a        lot           of       defenses       against         tox

  Seriously           Dude

    (Dick          Move)

       On Everyone’s part

     “Robo anatomy,”

   Is that      seriously        what        you’re        calling              it

        Like       they literally       brought him        back to life?

      To kill him            again

          That’s              rough                      Also              who’s            managing             coms                with                 Padme?

            Like she clearly made a sound when she was kidnapped   right?

   Who        is       that?

    Dude, seriously the command droid didn’t see this shit but the basic clanker  got it           When all that’s left of him is a head

       Do you know this could’ve been a really good call back to the previous episode and an improvement on that   Intel bit I     mocked       Un-miercilessly           (Stairs)           But it’s just nonsensical   here      

       What is a shame               because                 it               would                make                  so                 much                 more                 sense             (emotionally)                  and                (physically                     For the lower ranked Clanker on the emergency table to be a bit stunned, about giving a speech

  - And   showing        us         a         sur-prise         amount            of      intelligence

              While  the severed head       Would hold more intelligence      as the commander

                      I just....      have a lot of feelings

And,      am     a little...    disappointed

I like the Roombas...

  On    with      the      story...

     “Nerro Vindi, the senior medic for the para-families,”

     Oof

     “Ten years ago,”

   Any more specifics?

Or did he just wandered into the woods        On his own     free will?

    Wait,         Where         are         you        getting           the       transmission

       And why aren’t you sending a rescue party?

       Or going to remove the bombs

         Or going to inform someone?

        Or going to fix the clearly broken architectural of your entire place if this is a threat to you?

        Like, seriously captain of guard

        Do something!

        You   could’ve           had             an              intel            guy             tell             this           information

       “Plague,”

         Oh so having terrible architecture     that allows this to go any father isn’t just       -is a galaxy wide problem

     Great

      Good             to           know              I           never             have              to              worry            about              those               fuckers

   “There is some good news”

  You fixed your arch-

   (I’ll stop roasting their architecture-        For now-)

   Found the      Lab

  Dude      Just     completely-

   “Disappeared,”

     Hold up

Let    me   rewind

 Yep

   That’s Amidala with a com       device

      [if anyone was wondering where the      bullshitery lands;

         It’s the fact that she could literally be transmitting this all straight to the base and her superiors (she put it in her pocket)

       [Presumably still has it]

      If there was an a questions about      accountability

      “Here, here and here,”

     How?

    Never mind-       she did ask them to do that

   That’s-

   fair logic

   ....

   Okay

   ......         .....

  “If,”

 Seriously      what         is       that      voice?

   Killed....     ....

     ....

    Better to have one planet infected in the entire galaxy...

    Aight

    .....

   Here

   Whelp

    Also yeah they didn’t give Ahsoka a map or       any kind of instruction?

    Great       freakin      mentors              (They           all           shit           but         Especially)

    Seriously-            Just  

       Well            she          did             help          her         down      eventually

      Also        does it not have sound?

      Okay

    I would normally        commentate       about how           they       don’t report       that back

       But when it’s Ahsoka I just let my brain go       numb

     There’s no risk          so why bother

    “They’ll be here in a moment,”

      Again, there was an insane maniac out there - who possibly kidnapped your “girlfriend” (Possibly) - and you’re just     sitting here doing nothing?

   [This could be a good saying about Aniken showing toxic      traits but his tone is too light,         I cannot tell,]

   You aren’t even worried about        Ahsoka?

    You seem a bit on edge

    Like un-childlike so 

   Or adult being toxic        so?

    Because         the scene          is holding him accountable to nothing

       [if it was just plain toxicity            He should be knowingly         so....

       And more on          edge

       .....

       Hmmm

        You know

      Wish that had some weight

      I’m better at hiding it

      Anakin needs less snark and Obi-Wan needs more

      [or they both need       more]

      I don’t know what they were going for     in this scene

     [or anything else with          this character or tone]

  Lab

 Seriously,       You      waited       for      that

   Do not attempt to get inside

  ‘We haven’t for the last     hour,’

 Like, seriously this is supposed to be intense,      right?

   ‘Bunker Bomb,’

     Whoa, movie        I need you to differente         The bombs               -             A little              Better

 What-       Does this thing do?     -       Hatchet      - -        -          “Rex and his men,”

    Oh        yeah

     Where are they?            C’mon

  Oh,  they’re here

   “Anakin, Padme         may be lost,”

    A child...   

       Would not react               (Would react                      With                        The                    Emotion-less                         Response                         Taught)

    An             Adult....  

        Wouldn’t worry          Because another                   adult                      Could                    Handle                        It

A (Toxic)      Adult;  

   Smug bastard that knows another adult could handle it but choses to be toxic anyway

 Anakin;  

    Reactionary             No confidence

      ?????

   WHAT AM I-

      .......

      Ha

    Anakin decide to go on the     carrier

    (For, no apparent reason)

    And...

   Aight,         There         Still        There

   Okay

    Good          for            Her... ?

     Right          How

   What?

  Good for her

    Was that a Bunker bomb?

     [I’m confused]

     Woah

   Also that alarm is a lot more destructive       than the actual explosion

    Whelp

     Breach

     ....

    - -

   He’s creepy

   - -

  Oh now he puts on the mask

After... all this bullshit

  You’re       still in the air?

    Thought you would’ve been on the ground

     In Case,  he tried to escape

       And Rex was supposed to be backing Ahsoka up

       ?????

    [what is this    plan?]     .....

 No

Why...didn’t you arrange an escort....

  Like, She’s almost definitely going to get   involved in the action now

     Or is more likely to get caught in the cross-

     Never-mind she’s an adult, she knows how to take care of herself

  Aight,         O’kday

   Peppy is ready to put her skills of      bodying people to use

The most   terrif     -ying

 Whelp-     Wait,     Fighting’s     already     happening...

   You got there  five seconds ago...

   HOW?!

 What?!

   Okay...

   There            are     BOMBS        in      there

  Obi-wan            is          overdramatic

    And should have     broken      knees

    From not slowing down the        fall

    Whelp

   Skywalker             Is             Down             For            Death

    [I    wouldn’t recommend        watching            the               scene             if you have a fear of heights or          falling!]

     And        he ends       up with       a spr-

   Rex;       Show          Off         [Intern-ally]

   “it’s quiet in here,”

   “looks like a Ahsoka,”

  I love how he starts with    Ahsoka          Like Obi-Wan        doesn’t matter

    “’s,           Distraction is working,”

      Not a word to Obi-Wan

      -we all know      Obi-Wan didn’t do shit

   The fact that the child soldier is more likely

   How?

  Alright

  Bunny      eared     bullshit

   Okay

   The child soldiers are kicking more ass than     Obi-wan

    This         is a problem in      writing

   Okay

   “Padme”

    Great  to shot your     weakness?

    Die!

     No!          Not      Jar-Jar!

     His character has surprisingly        grown on me

    And he’s the only innocent party          in this cir        -cum-stance    

    Being chara-      cter-    ized         As         A        Child

     Padme           can         get            out         of        that      situation-

     He        can’t

    Aww

   Also - Obi-Wan is nowhere to be seen

  Great        Job

 Anakin,      Stall

   Enablers

    Room full         of enablers

    Okay...           Whatever

    What’s            Obi-wan             Up             To

  Ahsoka’s       being        an    abomination        of         nature

   Good...

   Obi-Wan...     actually       decided          to         do       something

   Greaaat,           Isn’t there a virus you’re supposed to be destroying?

    Yeah,            Okay

    Also,          Better         Snark

    Your child       character         shouldn’t           be       capable           of                the              same          amount          of      emotion          as        your       adult      character          ....       Great          ......           He’s a smart      Villain

   Then again        literally all the adults are fine

   The only two characters we have to worry about are          Jar-Jar              And           (Tech-           nic            ally)                 Ahsoka             Who logically          shouldn’t be able to get out of the situation 

       But she has broken that wall so many times it might as well be a free space on a bingo board a cardinal sins (of writing) the writers have committed

        So  I’m only worried about Jar-jar            in this scene

          A surprising turn,              for some

         Choice

   “Killing you,”

    HOW!

   Seriously that should be an actually threatening moment,     But it’s like if a kicked a puppy dog said it

 Either Anakin should know those words and that’s the tragedy of the situation     (Not the emotion of the situation which he shouldn’t have)

  Adult;

   That should be an actually terrifying situation        ....

  Going back to the General     Grievous       example;

  Remember      how I said       I aw- that it       elicited       emotion         Out          of         me?

       It wasn’t because     he was vulnerable           (Though           Chil-dren         Circum-stance               Can             Elicit                Said           (Emotional)            Response)

      It was because the situation was bad                  And no one deserves                   bad              Even though I acknowledge is one of his own                 making                     (And                  Liverance)

               Here-                    I just shrug

             If he’s an                 adult, that’s tox                   If he’s                      Child, then it’s un-childlike.                   (Un-adultlike                        Too)

                 But the narrative doesn’t commit to either

               So, I don’t have any                 emotion

            .....

    Dude, seriously         flatter him

   He’s      clearly          the       type        of      villain       that       gets       distracted        by      flattery

 Damn it Jar-      Jar

 He is the only one that big dramatic music    better be playing for

 Whelp-heck

 .....

 Ahahhhahaha

That clone...

  Just...

  Lightly.

  TAPPED         ....

[Re:watched; I don’t know why but for some reason the animation made it look like, dude, here just lightly tapped this droid’s shoulder and it [just] fell down and this other dude just fucking bodied both of them]

       I don’t know why that just                cracked me up

            Good on whoever                animated that

                                        Made                                             me                                            laugh

              On with it

             Are you okay

            [Of course she’s OK                 is Jar Jar, alright?]

         [Romance                  Music]

       Hmmmm,               Ha

          No-              Just no-

        If you can’t put in the effort to write accountable adult      characters, movie,

       You don’t get to have a             romance scene

                  *You didn’t earn it

[accountably       write       adult     characters,          you          can          still     portray       toxic      relationships,*           If        you        do         so    accountably]

    *Without          narrative         rom             antici                  zation

     [Cuts          Away]

       Thank              You

         Okay

           Oh yeah     she can definitely handle a             tank

        Ahsoka’s                     A                Mary Sue

                             [I’ve already called                                         Anakin             this before I have no        hesitation

        Continuing                 on

             Grab                 your                 blasters

   Oh yeah screw getting the important       person away from danger!

They   wouldn’t       be       on           the        floor        in           the       first          place...

   Also,         hey        where is      Jar-jar?

  (He       was          the        only    innocent        party        in             this.)

   S’up         Aight

    Also I’m surprise that        Obi-Wan’s guys are     orange             I thought        this theme         would be blue

       Blue eyes

       Blue            Temperament      

       (Chill)

        Etc

        Yes

Don’t speak-

  Heck

   There        they       went

  “ Spoke too you soon,”

     No shit -              Sherlock

    “Anakin,”

    I guess -      you didn’t-       capture  the doctor

   “No Obi-Wan I rescued the very important prisoner which was ne   -cessary,”

     They could send her with the clones

 But she        could also take care of    herself

   So          I was never really worried about                                                           her

     * do you have the bombs*

    His lips-         Didn’t move

 -The lip-synch

  - [ The animation- Re-Watch,-]

     Just didn’t work- 

       For that scene!

       Bombs

       Missing

      There’s Jar-Jar

   [“Master?”]

     [Stops, in the hallway,]

    DON’T stop in the hallway...!

     ....

    Missing bomb

    Yeah        you should go upstairs and look for it

     Or WARN your people!

      [at least          get the kids away from it!]

      Vindi, bomb

       Great

   [that’s a good thing      I wasn’t really paying attention to that]

    Also great         it’s an egg hunt for a bomb

     Fun             Times

       Droid

       Let’s move

  [I was about to say           who gave Ahsoka her own command?”           But that’s Rex,]

     Okay,            Get              It

        Also,              Wait-

       Never-mind             Amidala’s                 An               Adult

      [I was about to bring up a point that she should get her- clearance quarantine thing back, because the       Jedi (adult) might    have shields, but     it doesn’t matter        Either way

 Also; that thing         looks bigger     than it looked      in other scenes

    Never- mind              Might be the same

   Oh

     Good reaction

    Put it somewhere safe

   Then go beat the ever - loving    crud         out of him

 [for the story,        not for accountability]

  Okay,         Aight

 Can someone not screw      with the power to his ship

    Aight

   That     works      too...

   Okay...

    That’s wood      Right

   Okay,         Poor    Drones    Clones

    Hope        they’re        good          at        their        jobs

    Then again they do have helmets

    ....

   There’s        the       thing

   [Again           Why       would        you        follow]

     Damn!

     That’s toothless    

     but         scary

     Got             It

      Oh          No

    How did you not have a bomb diffuser on your team??.

    What were-

   There was no risk-

   But still-

   The logic

  * Obi-wan does a Leap*

   Drops vials

   Well, crud

   Don’t they have masks tho-

   Also- no

   Crud

   So why can’t one Force dude just play catch?

         - while the other-

       -was it because Obi-wan wanted to show off?

        - I think it was

           Never mind

          Crud

          Body                Him               Peepe

           How

           Yes

           Get                Him

          Whelp

           Her             skill              came                in             use

         Okay

          His             voice           actor           must             be          having             a         fucking          day

(It     sounds     like       a        fun      role)

   ...

  Whelp

   Good         For         Him

  “Deactivated             as            well,”

         That’s actually            pretty funny

        “ i’m ok              too,”

           Yeah he really didn’t care about you

           Then, again, neither do I                   abomination

            Cool                       Neat

     Cool, so that episode

      It’s very like the last one

       “Hidden enemy”?

      With a very clear gimmick

That one - spies

 This one;     the plague plot

    Not with a lot of logic- (or the best set up) - if you focus on the main “gimmick,”, it works

    - with minor animation issues that bug me

   Unfortunately, unlike the other, This one doesn’t have the basis of a compelling character

        - This             one’s                tone                is               too              light

     While            the       other’s        tone         was       perfect,       and     matched       the   seriousness       of      the    subject

 And     showed      the     tragedy       of    enabling       a       bad    situation

      (And elicit an emotional reaction          from           me)

   While       this       one      can’t      even      take   himself   seriously

  And   neither     can       I