#this room is scaring me it's giving cask of amontillado. no one to hear the screams.

[noiivvern]

looking at zillow listings of stupid expensive houses what the FUCK is this room for

[bronzeflower]

Field Trips And Slice Of Life

Also on ao3

Dadsona x Hugo Vega

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“Jessie, you’ve got to get up. You promised me that you would help me chaperone the field trip today.” Hugo insists.

You groan.

“Ughhhhhhhh. I don’t want to get uuuuuuup.” However, despite your protests, you eventually crawl out of bed and get dressed.

“Could you wake up Ernest?” Hugo asks. “I’m going to go get started on breakfast.”

“Of course, babe.” You rub the sleep out of your eyes and set to work waking up Ernest.

You start by knocking on the door. You hear groaning.

“I know you don’t want to get up. Believe me, I did not want to get my butt out of bed either, but school is important, and it will teach you skills that you need in the future.”

“No, it won’t!” Came the shout back.

“Yeah, well, you’re going on a field trip today, anyway, so you’ll learn things that are a little more useful than the things you learn in regular school. And, if not, at least you’ll probably have some fun!”

“No, I won’t! All they do at school field trips is give you a dumb packet to work on!”

“...Okay, so that may be the case, but that doesn’t negate the fact that you have to get up. Besides, if you get up, you get bacon. Bacon is delicious.”

“Are you really using bacon as a way to get me out of my room?” Ernest says, but he opens his door to glare at you.

“It worked, didn’t it?”

Ernest says nothing, but he does grumble as he walks past you. Your mission here is accomplished. It’s food time.

Food is enjoyed by everyone in relative silence, with the only talking being Hugo asking if Ernest remembered everything that he needed to bring.

As soon as that was settled with an of course along with a groan from Ernest, we were out the door and at the school.

Oh boy. Middle schoolers. Gotta love them. You hope that no one will steal, like, an artifact or something.

“I hope no one tries to steal a penguin this time.” You say to Hugo, who laughs.

“I don’t think there are any penguins at the museum we’re going to.”

“I hope no one tries to steal a bone.” You rephrase.

“I never know with this group of kids. I’m pretty sure they have a secret bar that none of the teachers know how to go to, and their preferred currency is the little rubber bands shaped like animals.”

“What if the currency is those little stickers that teachers hand out to kids who’ve been good. Do teachers still do that? I’m actually not sure.”

“Teachers still do that, but only for younger kids. Some of the teachers do something similar for the older kids though.”

You and Hugo eventually managed to get the kids inside the museum and give them each a packet to work on. And, if you happened to have some extra pencils on you to give to students that forgot their pencil, no one could prove anything. Especially not Hugo.

“I’m worried you’ve been spending too much time with Robert.” Hugo said as he noticed you sneaking a pencil to a kid who didn’t have one. Hugo, obviously, refused to give any pencils to those that needed them, but you think that was just a teacher trying to make his students more responsible and carry a pencil or two at all times.

“What makes you say that?” You ask in the most innocent tone you can muster, which was most definitely riddled with mischief because you couldn’t lie to save your life.

“...You came up with an elaborate story about how we were attacked by the Elephant Spectral at three am on a Wednesday to explain to Ernest why I had hickeys.” Hugo deadpanned. “He didn’t even ask why I had hickeys in the first place.”

“...Point taken. But, to be fair, I’ve also been hanging out with Mary a lot too.”

“Mary and Robert are friends, Jessie.”

“Okay, so I’ve been hanging out with two people who spin wild stories in order to scare people, and I happen to have picked up the skill. At least I don’t have trouble admitting that my stories are fake. I can only tell which stories of Robert’s are fake because of how much time I’ve spent with him.”

“The fact that- wait, hold on a moment. Elizabeth! You’re not allowed to touch that!” Hugo went back to you after he quickly dealt with Elizabeth trying to touch everything. He sighed. “It’s not like there aren’t signs that say you can’t touch this everywhere.”

“Could you tell me about some of the things in here?”

Hugo grinned and pointed to one of the dinosaur skeletons.

“That one belongs to a dinosaur called the Megalosaurus. It lived during the Jurassic Period and was one of the first dinosaurs ever discovered. And, over here is the Troodon, who has the largest brain to body ratio of any dinosaur.”

Hugo continued rambling on about dinosaurs and fossils. It always amazed you how much Hugo loved to learn and how much he loved to teach, regardless of how much he claimed that the students he taught were obnoxious. He was always that little bit more in a good mood when he successfully helped a student or a student ends up loving a book they read in class.

As much as he tells you about how annoying his students are, he also talks about how amazing his students are. How Damarious has actually been doing better in class since he’s joined the robotics club. How Catherine was excited to show Hugo the solution to a puzzle that she spent a long time trying to solve. How Sal was typically quiet but was the loudest one in group discussions.

It was all extremely sweet. He’s so proud of all his students. Even the ones who start gambling rings. Come on. You have to be a least a little bit impressed that a kid managed to set up a gambling ring that was kept a secret from the teachers for a good bit of time.

And now you’re trying to convince Lucas to not steal a fossil that was in an open area.

“Look, I get it. Those fossils are super cool, but these fossils are just for looking at, and you’re not allowed to take them. But, if you really want to own a fossil of your own, they sell them in the gift shop. So, if you could please put that particular fossil back where you found it, I can show you to the gift shop so that you can get a fossil of your very own.”

You were so very thankful that Lucas opted to put the fossil back and go to the gift shop, and you also glad that you didn’t need to bribe a child again. You weren’t proud of that moment in your life.

You helped Lucas find a fossil that he would like, and, after he paid for it, you guided him back to the group. Hugo caught sight of you bringing Lucas back to the group.

“Did you bribe a child again?” He asked, which, to be fair, was a perfectly reasonable question to ask based on the situations that the two have you have been through together.

“I didn’t actually have to bribe a child again. I am very thankful for that. I trust that you haven’t had a repeat of your Penguin Facts™ Lecture.”

“Goodness, no. That was awful, and I have no idea how I successfully created a distraction with that. I realized I knew almost nothing about penguins.”

“It’s a good thing the school didn’t get banned from the aquarium.”

“Thank god we can still have a field trip accompanying the learning of The Old Man and the Sea.”

“Speaking of literature you teach the kids, has anyone tried to Cask of Amontillado anyone again?”

“That was a one-time occurrence, and I hope every day that it doesn’t happen again. I also hope every day that Ernest actually reads the stories his teachers assign him so that something like that doesn’t happen again.”

“Robert thinks that Ernest has horrible taste in movies.” You say without thinking. Oh god, you know Hugo is going to ask about that. You can’t lie at all. You just have to rephrase it so the entire truth isn’t revealed because you refuse to admit that you snuck into a movie theater with Robert to watch a bad movie.

“What makes him say that?” Hugo asked, and you knew he was going to ask that. Okay. This is fine. All you have to do is omit certain things.

“Once we went to see a movie, and it was a pretty bad love story, so Robert yelled that love is dead at the end of it, and Ernest happened to be watching the movie, so he yelled back that the love in the movie was beautiful. They proceeded to have an argument about good cinema.” Nailed it.

“I wasn’t aware that Robert enjoyed movies.”

“He made me stay for the credits, and he individually thanked every single person who appeared in the credits for working hard to make the movie.”

“...Wow.”

“Yeah.”

The field trip was over soon, and you were glad to be back home. You plopped down on the couch as soon as you arrived.

“This is where I live now.” You declare.

“I don’t think that would be very good for your back.”

“Let the man sleep.” Ernest says, surprising you. “It’s not like his back can get any worse.”

“Wow, rude. I’ll have you know that my back is in tip top shape, and I could probably run a marathon with this back of mine.”

“Uh huh. That’s why you keep complaining about how much your back hurts all the time.”

“I’m old. I have a right to complain.”

“You can’t just say you have a right to complain when your back is clearly in ‘tip top’ shape. You’re contradicting yourself, you dope. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to listen to music in my room. Don’t bother me.” Ernest then proceeded to go to his bedroom.

“I’m so proud.” Hugo suddenly said. “He pointed out a contradiction.”

“He’s come a long way from staying still for twenty minutes while Lucien built a brick wall around him.”

“Ah, yes. That. Well, I have packets to grade. Love you.”

“Love you, too, babe.”

Hugo went off to grade the packets, and you decided to contact Amanda to see how things were doing at college.

“Hey, Amanda!” You greet. “How have you been doing? How's college treating you?”

“Hey, Dad.” Amanda responds, and you feel so happy to hear from her again, even if the last time you talked to her was literally yesterday. “I’ve been doing great, and college has been treating me with as much mercy as you would expect.”

“How much progress have you made on that collage you have to do?”

“I have about half of it done.” Amanda holds up a collage covered in various fashion accessories and clothing.

“I can’t wait to see it when it’s done! It’s progressing really nice so far!”

“Thanks. Of course, I also have to write a really long report about it, which is, to say the least, ughhhhhhh.” Amanda groans before changing the subject. “Anyway, we always talk about me during our chats, but have you been doing anything other than staying at home and watching tv, Dad?”

“Actually, I have. I chaperoned a field trip today.”

“Did someone try to steal a penguin again?”

“No, but someone did try to steal a fossil. Nothing living was stolen. At least none that I was aware of.”

“How big was the fossil? Did someone try to steal an entire dinosaur skeleton? That would be kick ass.”

“No, it was just a small shell fossil. I was able to convince them to put it back where they found it though.” You puff up with pride. You were very proud of yourself for that.

“Good job.” Amanda says, and then you hear someone calling Amanda in the background. “Sorry, Dad. Got to go. Some fun activity is calling my name.”

“Alright.” You were pretty disappointed that your conversation was cut short, but you can recognize that Amanda has a life, and she deserves to live that life. “Love you, Manda Panda.”

“Love you, too, Dad.”

After that conversation, you worked on your writing for a little while before checking on Hugo.

You hug him from behind and rest your chin on his shoulder.

“How’s your work going, babe?” You ask.

“I think Rebecca tried her best to get everything wrong. She might be trying to make a point about how grades don’t matter in the long run.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Because she’s an extremely smart kid, and she definitely has the capability to have fantastic grades, but she doesn’t because she feels like she has something to prove.”

“Maybe you could convince her to join the politics club or something. It might be a good way to put that kind of drive into use.”

“I don’t know if our school has a politics club.” Hugo admits. “But, to be fair, I’m not often aware of the clubs in the schools unless the students talk about it or I’m involved in it.”

“Yeah? Well, how’s the wrestling club going?”

“It’s going great! More people are in the wrestling club than ever! Which, of course, means more students to deal with, but it also means that it’s becoming more popular.”

“That’s fantastic!” You say.

“How was your chat with Amanda?” Hugo asks.

“It was good, but it was kind of cut short. She has finished half of one of her projects. I’m so proud of her.”

“That’s good. Maybe she’s actually turning in her work.”

“I hope she is.” You say, and then you realize that you are getting hungry. “I’m going to make dinner because food is an important part of everyday life.”

“Do you need any help?”

“Maybe a little.”

You and Hugo go to the kitchen and end up making mac and cheese. Always a good fallback when you have absolutely no idea what to make.

Eventually, the two of you manage to make something without burning the house down. That was likely due to Hugo’s influence.

“Ernest! Dinner’s ready!” Hugo shouts, and Ernest soon exits from his room.

The three of you enjoy a very nice meal with Hugo both talking about the wrestling club and asking how Ernest’s day at school was. Ernest was as grumpy as ever, but at least he was a little bit more responsive to questions. You have a feeling that he’s going to put a cherry bomb in someone’s trash can to make up for it.

You find out that Ernest liked the T. Rex exhibit in the museum. You aren’t surprised that he liked it, but you are surprised that he willingly offered the information. He typically just avoids giving any specific details about his life and is usually kind of hostile. You and Hugo still love him though.

“I’m going out.” Ernest says right after he finishes his dinner.

“You’ve finished all your homework, right?” Hugo questions.

“Yes. Bye, I’m leaving now.” Ernest leaves, and Hugo yells after him.

“Make sure to call me if something happens!”

Ernest waves him off. Hugo closes the door and sighs.

“He seems to be going out a lot more recently.” Hugo admits. “But he’s also been acting better, and no one has informed me of Ernest acting up recently, so I feel like those things are connected.”

“If he’s been acting better because of it, I wouldn’t worry about it too much.” You say. “Although it would be nice to know where he’s going in case something happens.”

“You’re right. I hope he does message me if something goes wrong though.”

“I’m sure he will.”

The two of you just kind of sit in silence for a bit.

“You know Ernest loves you, right?” You break the silence.

“I love him, too.”

“You should tell him that more often.” You suggest.

“You think so?”

“Definitely.”

Ernest eventually comes home to you and Hugo cuddling on the couch and watching tv.

“Hey, Ernest!” You greet. “How was your outing?”

“It was fine.” Ernest says, and he makes his way to his room.

“Hold on a minute, Ernest.” Hugo says.

“What?”

“I just…” Hugo pats Ernest on the shoulder. “I wanted to let you know that I love you.”

Ernest stays silent for a few moments before speaking in a whisper.

“Love you, too, Dad”

Ernest then immediately escaped to his room.

You approach Hugo, who is positively glowing. He looks even more excited than he does when he’s talking about wrestling, which truly is saying something.

“Babe?”

Hugo lifts you up in a bear hug and spins you around, grinning widely.

When he puts you down, he’s still shining like a million suns.

You kiss him, and he kisses you back with a large amount of passion and enthusiasm. You pull away.

“What did Ernest say to make you this happy?” You ask. After all, you didn’t exactly hear what Ernest said back to Hugo.

“He said that he loved me, Jessie.” Hugo exclaimed. “And he called me Dad!”

“That’s amazing!” You grin.

Hugo is practically vibrating with excitement. It reminds you of the time when you took him to the Power Slam.

God, you love this man.

“I love you.” You say, voicing exactly what you were thinking.

“I love you, too.” Hugo responds.

“You deserve all the love in the world, dear.” You say. “You take the time to learn about anything you can, and you’re so passionate in everything you do. From being a parent to teaching to wrestling, with everything you do, your passion shines through, and it’s so beautiful. You’re just really amazing, and I really love you, my cheddar cheese.”

Hugo laughs.

“You’re really going to use that pet name after all that?” Hugo says, but he’s smiling.

“Yes. Not all pet names are dear and babe, buttercup.”

“Those are the ones you appear to use the most often though.”

“Guilty as charged.”

Hugo smiles fondly at you, and then he kisses you softly.

What else are you going to do but kiss back?