#this series is finally coming to fruition im so nervous

[tonight-i-may-see]

Rehab. (Spencer Reid X GN!Reader) Blurb

word count: 510

cw: addiction, rehab, allusions to relapsing

(Note: there'll probably be a few things like this in this little story universe I'll be naming two-headed boy. its part of me rewriting spencer's addiction arc, but not the main plotline since that will not include x readers.)

Meeting new people was always hard, but going to rehab was harder, so you allowed yourself a bit of leeway with how social you were at this new place. It had been a friend that recommended it, seeing how bad you were struggling even with the fact you had finally begun to open up to them. Attending meetings was a no-go, you'd just leave after clamming up for an hour and drinking shitty coffee in a community hall. Things got dire, so rehab it was. 

You spotted him the first day, sitting in the corner and reading a worn copy of some book you didn't care enough to glance at the cover of at a speed that made you think he was just staring at the pretty pictures instead. Not that you'd judge that, you'd spent 5 minutes in the centre and already were so bored you’d considered leaving.

Eventually the worker that led you into the day room went to get a cup of coffee, so you sat tentatively next to the young man, trying your best not to disturb him.

“You're new,” He points out curiously, having put his book down while you were counting the cracks on the ceiling. It startles you, but you nod, a tight smile on your lips. 

“You're reading pretty fast,” You counter, showing your own observational skills, but you almost laugh out loud at his response.

“Actually, this is pretty slow for me. I wanted to, uh…soak in the words…” The man’s brows twitch oddly and you feel endeared already.

“Escapism?” 

"Addicts crave oblivion" he'd told you, and you wondered where you'd heard that before, tilting your head as you listen.

"So what are you running from?" you asked in return, watching him avoid eye contact, you could see him thinking and going over it all…clearly it was a lot. “Yeah…me too…” you mumble, knowing all too well what trauma does to addicts.

The guy pulls another odd face, his mouth almost a straight line, it makes you chuckle and forget about the fire burning in the back of your head for a moment. “How is it…going…for you?” He asks carefully, clearly too scared to use words like addiction or sobriety. That would make it real.

“Four months.” You answer, though you aren't entirely sure that's true, it's all a blur and you'd rather not track it at all. “You?”

“Eight.”

It's a heavy number. So close to that coveted milestone and twice over what you had achieved so far.

“Does it g-”

“No.” He clearly doesn't even need to hear the rest of your question, it was the question every addict heard no matter what month of sobriety they'd made it to.

“Is it worth it..?” You ask hesitantly, watching the cogs turn in his head through his big doe eyes. The silence that follows stretches long enough that you start to get an inkling what the answer might be, but then he finally speaks again.

“It will be.” He nods firmly, finally looking you in the eyes.

[lotanxiety]

The Girl Who Cried Wolf pt. 3

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: You thought you’d never see Dean again after he saved you the first time. He’s back, but why? Also, does the slow burn progress? Read to find out!

Warnings: violence, fighting, bl00d loss, deAth, more soft Dean <3 oh and what am i forgetting?? oh yeah SMUT FINALLY HEHEHE (virgin, very vanilla, sweet, f oral receiving)

A/n: hello friends! i hope you enjoy this one <3 (never written smut before so im a little nervous abt that part) taking requests now as i wrap this series up! i think im going to do one more part to this and that will be all unless you want more😁

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Dean leaned back on his bed in the bunker, headphones on, staring at your drawing that he hung up on his wall. It’s been three weeks since him and his brother saved you. He gave you their number in case you ever needed it, secretly hoping you’d call, but you didn’t. He was almost a little worried, but also knew you probably just didn’t have a reason to call. He thought maybe he read the situation wrong and the feelings he was feeling weren’t reciprocated. He decided to close his eyes and try to rest.

Meanwhile, you sit straight up in a cold sweat. Another nightmare. They haven’t quit since the attack, apart from the one night Dean was with you. You decided to head downstairs and get some coffee, despite it being 4 in the morning. On your way down the stairs, you heard a noise and immediately pulled the gun out of your robe pocket and cocked it. Creeping the rest of the way down, you carefully scanned all the rooms downstairs to make sure you were alone. Once you decided you were safe, you uncocked the gun and put it back in your pocket, and went back to making some coffee.

To say you were on edge is an understatement. You had also been doing a lot of research on hunting and monsters since the boys left.

Once you made your coffee, you sat down at the table, opened your laptop, and started reading…again. This little routine you had developed was consistent at least. You quit your job, and decided you wanted to become a hunter, but the thought of being near danger like that again sent your heart racing so you stuck to research. Right now, you were learning about wendigos. “Okay and fire…got it.” you mumbled out loud.

As you read on, you heard another noise. Once again you drew for your weapon, but not before you were knocked out completely. When you finally came to, you were in your living room tied to a chair. As you blinked, you felt a stinging sensation on your head and ringing in your ears. You looked around the room and saw a shadowy figure standing in the corner of the room, looking out of the window. Your heart felt like it was going to beat straight out of your chest. No, not again, you thought.

“Oh good, you’re awake.” the mysterious woman said. “I know all about you Y/N. I’ve been watching you… for weeks. I studied your routine, not like it was very busy or anything” she snarled.

“W-who are you?” You said trying to muster up the bravest voice you had, but failing miserably.

“Who am I? I’m the girlfriend of the wolf you killed.” the lady said , stepping into the light. Suddenly, you see her features. The claws, the eyes, you were met again with another werewolf. You had studied and prepared for if this moment happened again, never expecting it to actually come to fruition. You froze.

“You’re responsible for the death of the love of my life. Now you’re going to pay.” She said, dragging her claw across your collarbone and circling your chair. She leaned up close and whispered right into your ear, “It’s going to be a long, torturous death. I hope you’re excited because I know I am.” The woman walked off into the kitchen to retrieve tools for torture. You tried to think on your feet to quickly escape the situation. Praying to god this was the chair you had taped a knife to underneath, you felt around. When the cold metal met your fingers, you sighed a breath of relief. You grabbed it and cut the rope that bound your hands behind your back. Right as you did that, the werewolf entered back into the room. “Where do you think you’re going?” She said, launching at you with a knife. Skillfully dodging her advance, you give her an uppercut to the jaw, knocking her back some while also hurting your hand. You had never fought someone before, you never realized how painful it is.

You two go at it, constantly switching who has the upper hand. At last, you grab the silver knife and pin the werewolf to the floor. Right before you stab her, she says, “Even if you kill me, the rest will come for you. They know where I am and what you’ve done.” You had heard enough and plunged the knife right into her heart. You threw yourself off of the body that lay in front of you, and curl into the fetal position in the corner of the room. You scramble to get the phone from your pocket, and your hands shake at you hit the name of the one person you had been wanting to talk to for weeks.

——————

Reaching over, Dean answers the call without looking, straight from his slumber. “Hello” Dean says with his raspy, early morning voice.

“Dean?” The voice on the other end was so soft and shaken, it caused Dean to sit up and look at the caller ID.

“Y/N, are you okay??” Dean asked fervent with concern.

“I- there.. was… no, I’m not okay” your voice choked through the phone. “A woman werewolf showed up and tried to kill me.”

“What, why?” Dean said getting out of bed, and putting his clothes on.

“The other werewolf you killed… h-he was her lover. She was mad and she tied me up and-“ You sob.

“Are you safe now? What happened?” Dean asked as he laced up his boots.

“I killed her.” You say stone-cold from shock.

“I’m on my way okay, I’ll be there soon. Just- hang on for me alright” Dean says to you.

“Oh and Dean, she said there will be others-“

Right as you said that the door to your home bursts open. From Dean’s end of the line he heard a crash and a scream.

“y/n? Y/N?!” Dean yelled. “SAMMY WE GOTTA GO.”

————————————

Guns drawn, the brothers approached the door to your home. They make their way through the house calling out your name, passing the dead body on the floor as they go. “She’s not here” Sam says. “Well not shit Sherlock. We need to find her, now.” Dean announces, taking a deep breath and running his hands through his hair. Sam got to work researching about the werewolf’s that took you. Dean started to look around the house for any clues as to where they might have taken you. When Dean reached your room, he almost had the breath taken out of his. Across your walls there were pages and pages of research about monsters, but what caught his eye were about the dozen sketches of him. He walked closer to them, examining each one closely. He stopped at a particular one of him in a towel standing in a doorway. He carefully removed it from the pushpin in the wall, folded it up, and put it in his pocket.

Dean made his way downstairs after deciding there was nothing useful in the house. Once he made it to the dining table, Sam let him know that the girlfriend’s family owns an abandoned farm. The brothers jumped into the Impala and headed on their lead, hoping to find you… alive.

“UGH” you grunt as you get punched across the face for the second time.

“You think you can stop us? You little tiny thing? That’s hilarious” the man cackled. “You are going to pay for all the losses you’ve caused us. Our pack lost two of its best members because of you” The man said as he barred his teeth. He takes his claws and scrapes them across your chest, leaving big gashes. You cry out in pain. Just then, the two men you wanted to see more than anything burst into the room and take out the entire pack of werewolves.

Once all the fighting was over, Dean was by your side, but you were in and out of consciousness due to blood loss. “Hey, hey I gotcha. C’mon” Dean says untying you and picking you up bridal style. Quickly he made his way back to the Impala, tossing the keys to his brother. “Hospital, now Sam.” Dean crawled into the back seat with you, still holding you in his arms. “Stay with me now, you’re being so brave. C’mon, Sammy hurry.” He continued to talk to you and stroke your hair until you made it to the hospital.

They rolled you back in the emergency room, leaving Sam and Dean in the waiting room. While they waited for any news on your condition, Dean paced back and forth. “You really care about her, huh?” Sam asked. “Well uh I just want her to be okay, that’s all.” Dean said unconvincingly. “But it’s more than that isn’t it? What happened that night while I was out?” Sam said, pushing his brother to talk more. “Nothing happened” Dean said firmly, not confronting his feelings. “Dean-“ Sam urged. “I don’t know man, there’s just something about her. I can’t stop thinking about her. I thought she didn’t feel the same, but when I went into her room, I saw she had sketched me… like a lot. Look” Dean said reaching into his pocket and pulling out the folded piece of paper, and handing it to his brother. Sam unfolded the paper, revealing the artwork. He chuckled a little, and folded it back up again to give back to his brother. “You know I could’ve told you she felt that way about you too without having to see that” Sam said glancing up at his brother who was still pacing the ER waiting room. “I just want.. I need her to be okay. I haven’t.. felt like this well, ever. I don’t want to lose her before we’ve even had a chance to- I don’t know talk?” Dean was confused by the words coming out of his mouth because he wasn’t lying when he said he hasn’t felt like this before. The kind of emotions he was feeling were all new. Sam just nodded, understandingly.

From behind the double doors, a doctor came with a clipboard, approaching the brothers. “Mr. Winchester?” “Yes.” Dean said, finally standing in one spot in front of the doctor. “Your wife” Both the brothers smirked at the doctor’s misguided assumption “had some major blood loss as well as deep lacerations on her chest. We were able to give her a couple of blood infusions and stitch up her chest. She’s resting now if you would like to see her.” The doctor stated. “Yes we would, thank you, Doc” Dean said, following behind the double doors.

Sam let Dean go in first, alone. Approaching your side, Dean looked upon your sleeping face again. Once again, he noticed how peaceful you looked and dreaded the moment you would wake up to your reality. He pulled up a chair and tentatively grabbed your hand. You didn’t move a muscle so he began talking. “Hey Y/n. I’m really glad you’re okay. You know when I got your call, I was really excited to hear from you, but I never wanted it to be because of this. You don’t deserve this. I promise from here on out I’m going to protect you. I won’t let another thing hurt you. I promise.” He squeezed your hand and you began to wake up. Dean shuffled in his chair hoping you didn’t hear that (but you did).

“Hey sweetheart, how are you feeling?” Dean asked still holding onto your hand and rubbing his thumb over the top of it. “Like I went 12 rounds with a werewolf” you joke. You both chuckle a little, but it hurts your chest when you laugh. “I’m glad you’re okay” Dean half-whispers, staring deeply into your eyes. The look he gave you made your heart stop. You thought you liked the idea you had built of him in your brain since you had only met him once before, but now with him in front of you, all of those feelings were there in full force. “Thank you for saving me…again.” You say looking back into his eyes. The moment is heavy, no one says a word but your eyes are saying many things. Then, Sam walked through the door with flowers, balloons, and a teddy bear he had bought from the hospital gift shop. Dean pulls his hand away and sits back in his chair and you try not to laugh (since it hurts) at the parade that Sam brought in. You thank Sam and you all get to talking about what had happened.

Finally, a few hours later, you get discharged from the hospital. Walking out towards the car, Sam asks, “Um do you want us to take you back home?” You almost stumble back at his words. “No- I can’t go back there please, I- I-“ You start hyperventilating. “Woah woah woah, hey it’s okay. You won’t go back there.” Dean says grabbing your shoulders.

“I mean, you could come to the bunker with us, if you’d like. There’s plenty of space.” Sam suggests and you calm back down.

“I also noticed you’ve being doing some research” Dean says with a half-smirk on his face as your eyes go wide.

“Uhh” you pause. Dean laughs and slips that sketch from his pocket into your hand with a wink. “I am flattered by the way. Anyways, if you wanted to live at the bunker you could do some research there. We could always use the extra hands on deck.” Dean says. You think about the proposal for a moment. It isn’t a hard decision since you don’t want to be here anymore and you would be much closer to Dean.

“If you wouldn’t mind having me, I would love that!” You say excitedly. The three of you make your way back to your house, letting the brothers pack up your things while you stay in the car. Then, you guys were off to the bunker!

The next two weeks you spent healing, making a new routine, and figuring out your place among the boys. You met Castiel who you quickly became buddies with, but he left for a case. Dean and Sam made you feel extremely welcome, took care of you as you healed, and even had movie nights! Things between you and Dean had remained completely platonic as you settled into the bunker. Of course not without his flirty quips.

One Tuesday, the boys finally found a case. It was the first one since you had been there. The two of them left to hunt a vamps nest while you stayed back at the bunker. You kind of enjoyed being alone there for the short period, being able to sing as loudly as you wanted and there was plenty of uninterrupted time for you to work on your art. After a day, the boys came back from their successful hunt.

Sam is the first to walk through the door with Dean following close behind.

“Now that is what I call a win, isn’t that right Sammy.” Dean said cheerfully. “Yeah” Sam chuckled, heading for his room. “Where do you think you’re going? We are going out tonight, all of us. I need beer. and burgers.” Dean stated.

“Have fun with that, I was planning on taking a shower and then doing some more research.” Sam said. “Boring, why do you have to be such a nerd.” Dead teased his brother. Sam just shrugged it off and Dean turned to you. “You’ll come out with me then, right?” You looked at the man practically batting his eyelashes at you and agreed. You headed to your room to get ready to go out. You had never really been the party type of person, so you didn’t know what to wear. You decided on jeans and a baby doll style shirt with your hair half up/half down. You spritzed on your perfume and headed to meet Dean in the common room. You had never gotten dressed up in front of these men before so when Dean saw you his mouth hung open a little bit. He quickly gain his composure and held out his arm for you to take. You giggled at the gesture and took it as you two headed for the bar.

“A beer and a martini please” Dean said to the bartender. You sat with your back to the bar taking in the sight in front of you. When you say you were never really a partier, you mean you’ve never partied or gone out or done anything fun really. “You look at the crowd like a kid at a theme park” Dean laughed. Suddenly you feel kind of embarrassed and shut down your gaze. Dean immediately noticed the change in your body language and went to correct himself. “I didn’t mean that as a bad thing you know, I find it endearing how… optimistic about the world you seem, despite all the shit you’ve been though.” You blush as the comment. “Um thank you. I uh- haven’t been to a real bar before. I spent my college years with my nose in a book. I never tried to make friends or go out. Now I know I was missing out on a lot of fun.” You say. “Guess we will just have to make up for lost time then huh?” Dean says with a glint in his eyes. After a few more drinks and you two talking about the hunt, you get up from your barstool and start dancing. There are a few couples in the middle of the room grinding, but mostly everyone was just standing around talking. Dean gave you a funny look which only encouraged you to dance even more. You motioned for him to join you, but he just smiled and shook his head. “I’m not really a dancer” he shouted over the music and distance. You walk closer towards him in a seductive manner. “Well neither am I, but I love this song and I wanna dance” you say grabbing his hand and dragging his butt begrudgingly off the stool. He comes with you, but just kind of stands there, chuckling at you as you dance poorly.

You feel the alcohol rushing through your veins and decide to be bold. You turn around and gentle move your body back towards his, tentatively looking up at him behind you to make sure it’s okay. His hands find your waist as you back up to him completely, continuing to sway. Keeping your eyes locked with the man behind you, you both start to grind, letting the alcohol and music take control. He leans his head down to your ear. “If you keep that up very much longer, we might have a problem.” He whispers. Goosebumps fly over your body from the heat of his breath against your ear. Something takes over your body, probably the alcohol, and you decide to be a tease. You grind again one more time, then walk back to the bar leaving Dean speechless on the dance floor. You try to order one more drink, but Dean comes up from behind you and tells you that you’re leaving. Hand in hand you exit the bar.

Once you make it back to the bunker, Dean leads you to his room. The second the door is shut, he backs you into the wall and smashes his lips into yours. He picks you up, and you wrap your legs around his body not breaking the kiss. The feelings and tension from the past month or so burst into an insane amount of passion and heat. Dean walks you guys over from the wall, laying you down onto his bed. He removes the shirt from his body in one quick motion then his lips are back, attached to your neck this time. He makes his way up and down your neck then back up to your lips. You two part as he rests his head against yours. “Do you want this?” He asks. You pause for a moment, slightly coming down from the high to realize what’s about to happen. The pause is enough for him to take a step back. “I’m sorry, I thought-“ Dean starts but you interrupt. “No, no I want this. I reeeally want this. I just- I’m uh… a virgin.” You say timidly, looking at the ground. Dean standing in front of you, takes his finger under your chin to look at him. “Are you sure that this is what you want?” he asks. You nod. “Words, baby girl.” Dean urges. “Yes, Dean I want this. Please-“ and just like that, his lips touch yours again. This time in a gentler manner. Things are a lot slower because Dean wants you to savor this moment. He wants your first time to be memorable, not quick and rushed, though he was about to finish with you just grinding on him so he hoped he could last long enough for you.

Dean reached for the hem of your shirt and you raise your arms, allowing him to take it off. You look down at the scars across your chest, and start to get self-conscious. Without missing a beat, Dean trails kisses from your neck, all the way down your chest, covering every inch of your scars. In between the kisses he mumbles “you’re so beautiful”. Your heart instantly melted at the action. Dean then reached for your bra clasp, undoing it with one hand. His kisses trail down across your boobs, sucking on your nipples when he gets to them. Your head throws back in pleasure, slightly arching your back. The sight makes Dean groan. He continues his path all the way down your stomach to your pants. He eyes you once more for permission and you give him a look to let him know it’s okay. He unbuckles your jeans and slides them down your body. Now left in only your light pink lace underwear, Dean stared at the sight in front of him. “You’re absolutely stunning, you know that?” He says. He kisses your lips once more before lowering himself to his knees for you. Sliding your underwear down, he kisses from your ankles up to your thighs, then repeats on the other side. It’s almost torturous the way his kisses tease you. “Dean” you half grunt, urging him to the place you need him most. He gives a little chuckle before licking up your slit. You gasp at the contact. “You’re already so wet for me” Dean says. He attaches his mouth around your clit, licking and sucking. The most pornstar worthy moans leave your mouth as he goes to work. Unsuspectingly, he inserts one of his fingers inside of you, causing you to gasp again. “Damn, you’re so tight.” Dean says against your pussy. It doesn’t take long before the feeling builds inside. Dean decides to add another finger, stretching you out for him. That wonderful pleasure builds and builds. “Mhm cum for me baby” Dean says, causing you to unravel and cum all over his face.

Dean reached up to kiss you and you pull him in my his belt loops, deepening the kiss. You fumble with the button, getting his pants off of him. Once they fall to the ground, you start to move to get on your knees when he stops you. “Not this time baby, this is about you.” Dean says sweetly. He lays you back down and removes his underwear. He lines himself up with you. “I’ll go really slow, okay? This might hurt a bit so you just tell me when to move.” Dean announces. He started to push in and you were rushed with pleasure and some pain. He made it all the way in as you sucked in air through your teeth, taking in his full length. He was certainly… blessed. Dean held his arms on either side of your head keeping his body balanced above you. His face curled into what almost looked like pain. “Are you okay?” You asked concerned. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Can I move now?” He asked. You nodded. Dean made sure to go slowly to allow you to adjust and he tried not to cum too early. He gently rocks into you, gradually picking up the pace. You get into a good rhythm, feeling pleasure you’ve never felt before. You both moan into each other’s mouths as you come close to the finish line. “Dean I’m- I’m close” you say. “I know, I can feel you. I am too baby. Cum with me” He says as you both finish at the same time. His body collapses next to yours for a moment. Dean then gets up to grab a washcloth. He wets it with warm water and a tiny bit of unscented soap. He walks back over to you to clean you up, being really gentle since you were sore. Once you were both cleaned up, you cuddled in his bed and fell asleep.