#this stems from a conversation with my mother about a hypothetical in which I would beat up a child because I’m supposed to be a ‘protector

[land-of-departure]

there’s nothing on the face of this planet the irritates the fuck out of me more than any assumption that I should be any specific way because of something as arbitrary as gender… I could not give less of a fuck about any gender role PERIOD

[zikitwopointoh]

How my dating life in November Went:

1st week of November 2022

Last week I woke up to a ban on Facebook for hate speech and inciting violence…neither of which I would ever do, but I did think it would be cool if they had sent me a trophy for the mantle.

On the same day my hygiene was questioned by someone who lives in a shed with their cats because I made a joke about dry shampoo. To address this I had a friend to confirm I shower daily on a video. I should have probably let it go. Oh and I’m pretty sure I met a serial killer. No I am not joking or exaggerating. Don’t worry though it wasn’t someone on this site.

Update on this- they were a photographer for a modeling shoot I was going to do and expressed romantic interest in me AFTER they explained that the idea of strangling someone to death was a turn on and talking about how a killer and victim must share the most intimate moments ever. They went into great detail and said other disturbing things about this. I backed out of the photo shoot because I did not want to be featured on dateline one day.

2nd week of November 2022

This week (so far) I was playing a board game and did not realize I was on a quasi date- yet I was preemptively dumped because I was not Indian. I was just trying to play a board game. I am also too old for someone in their 40s…

3rd week of November 2022

FUN FACT- I was dumped once because I didn’t like The Smashing Pumpkins ENOUGH. I liked them but not Enough. I was not 14, I was in my 20s and had been living with this man for two years. This all stemmed from me NOT wanting to watch a bootleg DVD of a German TV show that was interviewing Billy Corgin.

Does anyone else get offended when their dog is called fat? It’s like an indictment of your dog parenting skills.

I’ve been talked into a coffee “date.” I informed them I would be wearing whatever is clean, closest to me on the floor, and has the smallest amount of pet hair on it. I try so hard yet I’m still single. It amazes me.

Fun Fact #2: was talking to someone on a dating site about an long term relationship. They wanted a housewife and I joking said I wouldn’t mind leaving business school as I’d wake up in the middle of the night with panic attacks. Later in the conversation I hypothetically asked “if I woke you up because I had a bad dream in the middle of the night would you get mad?” They told me I needed mental help since I’m having panic attacks and bad dreams. I explained one was a joke and one was hypothetical. I don’t think they knew what those words meant.

Today 11/22/22 I discovered my favorite Bible verse:

Ezekiel 23:19-20 NET

Yet she increased her prostitution, remembering the days of her youth when she engaged in prostitution in the land of Egypt. She lusted after their genitals as large as those of donkeys, and their seminal emission was as strong as that of stallions.

I will be sharing my favorite Bible verse at Christmas, which happens to be my very religious mother’s birthday.

My doctor reminded me Thanksgiving was this week. I rolled my eyes as I thought it was next week. I just hate having to plaster on a fake smile for people that I avoid the remainder of the year.

The most fun I’ve had this week is actively encouraging my roommate/very good friend to google things that will get them put on a watch list. So far, they are too smart to take the bait. I’ve abandoned this an am trying to get them to self incriminate themselves next to one of the echos.

I made my dog watch YouTube videos about what to do during nuclear fallout. I think I gave him anxiety because the vet now wants to put him on Prozac. I think I broke my dog. But he’s prepared.

Last week of November 2022: I met a delusional man who claimed he had be knighted three times and worked for the FBI secretly. When I explained I was not “into” him eating my menstrual blood, he let me Down easy. I had to hear that and now you have to hear that too. Also- I find it offensive no one ever asks what my dog’s middle name is, like not even the vet.

[katytheinspiredworkaholic]

Correspondence, Chapter 03

Pairing: HotchReid

Summary:  An AU where Reid never joined the FBI, but got roped into consulting for the LA field office while working and teaching at Caltech. Hotch gets his email referred from a fellow agent, and they start to work on cases together -- until they start talking on a regular basis. Regular becomes frequent, frequent becomes constant. They know nothing about each other, but they don't really mind.

Rating: Mature/Explicit (eventually)

Chapter CW/notes: Mentions of alcohol, a very long conversation happens where Hotch is a little buzzed. Big, BIG focus on their age difference, and unintentional misinformation. Spencer has no idea Hotch thinks he’s older, or at least not OLD older, and gets a little panicky/clams up -- and yes I realize Hotch could just background check him and find it out but he respects the man enough to not do that. The chapter is linear, it just encompasses a lot of time passing so hopefully that’s not too confusing. Set in season 6, self beta’d.

Word Count: 5025

Masterpost Link

Ao3 Link

--

Chapter 03

--

Early September 2010

--

And so, it begins.

The dynamic shift, the vast change in how Hotch and Dr. Reid had been corresponding for the past few months. Evolving from something so professional and academic to something… looser. More freeing. More room for error, of course, but the risk turns out to be more than worth it for what they gain.

The texts are sporadic, at first. Short interactions, here and there, all stemming from that first, longer conversation about Jack. Hotch follows up the very next day, after he gets to talk to his son in the morning over pancakes. Jessica hovering nearby the whole time. She had apologized for her harsh words, and commended him after the fact how he’d approached Jack on the subject and led the little boy into a conversation rather than a lecture like his teachers had done. Because, as Spencer had mentioned -- there was no need for one. Jack already had the situation handled.

[]6/4, 12:39[] You were right. 

[]6/4, 12:39[] He invited the kid that was bullying him over for a playdate. Trying to win him over by killing him with kindness.

[]6/4, 12:43[] My kind of kid. 

[]6/4, 12:44[] You’ve taught him well, Hotch.

And that was it. That was all it took to kick off what turns into a frequent occurrence. Slowly, as time passes, their quick texts turn to conversations that naturally revert to work. It’s where they spend most of their time, after all, and what they had bonded over in the first place. But unlike in their emails, it isn’t just about the cases or profiles or statistics required to crack them. It’s much more opinionated than that, erratic in it’s content and frequency. Commentary on Hotch’s team, ideas on the cases they work, case studies and research projects and sometimes even just office gossip that somehow always makes its way to Hotch’s attention despite everyone trying to keep it from doing so.

Or just Dr. Reid observing their antics. This is the beginning of the tonal shift, and Hotch can’t help but think… it just might be a welcome one.

[]6/12, 10:03[] Your tech analyst always sends me rainbow font emails.

[]6/12, 10:07[] Yes, she’s doing that with everyone on the team. It’s Pride month and she’s being supportive.

[]6/12, 10:11[] She considers me a part of the team? How sweet of her.

[]6/12, 10:12[] You are, and as far as the bureau goes you might as well be.

[]6/12, 10:13[] I doubt I could sneak you into payroll, though.

[]6/12, 10:21[] I bet Ms. Garcia could.

[]6/12, 10:28[] Don’t. Say. Anything.

[]6/12, 10:29[] But yes, she could. 

It turns into a small reprieve, for Hotch, in the constant deluge of bureaucracy and violence that fills his work day. The single moment he allows a sliver of himself to appear through the cracks of his armor he has to wear to guard himself from it all. To be the stoic leader the team needs, the unmovable tree in the storm.

Only in his quick, typed under the table conversations he has with Spencer does he allow himself the slips of humor. Barely there traces of a smile. Finding the smallest spots of light in his dark days, in his work that can surround and consume to the point of suffocation. Hotch thrives in it, he always has -- while others have drowned. But he doesn’t mind finding this small self-indulgence. Making the decision for himself that he can joke and poke fun at his work and not feel guilty about it. That, for once, he can allow himself this.

Until one day, Spencer returns the favor -- and starts talking about his own work.

[]7/21, 16:17[] If I leave all of my Ph.D. applicants in a ditch in the desert, is that still murder?

[]7/21, 16:30[] Technically or hypothetically?

[]7/21, 16:34[] Different question, would you be my legal council if I snap and it happens anyway?

[]7/21, 16:37[] Of course.

[]7/21, 16:38[] But as your attorney, I have to advise you that we never had this conversation, and murder is wrong.

[]7/21, 16:40[] Hypothetically. 

Spencer takes a little longer to open up, but when he does it is through this window into an academic world Hotch had never planned or thought he would ever be privy to. He begins to reveal pieces of it, bit by bit, until Hotch starts to form a picture in his mind of what shape this professor’s life really takes. Making deductions based on his speech patterns, what goes on throughout his day, his word choices, and profiling the man through text message without even meaning to. 

He tries to put a stop to it as soon as he realizes this. Dr. Reid isn’t just a consultant anymore, he is his friend -- and Hotch will always do his utmost to not profile his friends. But it’s a little too late for some aspects that can’t help but stand out as time goes on. Such as the inkling that the other man probably isn’t senile with a cane and a stooped back, like Hotch had first thought. Certain parts of his day allude to someone who is a bit fresher to the academic scene -- instead of spending decades on a college campus. 

But Hotch sets that aside, to be scrutinized at a later date, and instead turns his focus into enjoying what Spencer has to offer him. As his friend. The stories he shares freely, now that they’ve spent all this time breaking down the barriers. He regales Hotch with his own daily problems, grievances, as well as the little bright spots that he just wants to share with Hotch so that it can lighten up his own days. Which were much more bleak, and crowded with danger and horrid things. 

Hotch lives for those messages.

[]7/28, 20:42[] So I have a godson.

[]7/28, 20:44[] He’s four, and he just came to visit last week with his mother. Have you and Jack ever done science experiments at home? 

[]7/28, 20:46[] Because I have some that are definite crowd pleasers. Do them right, you can call them ‘physics magic’. I can send you the instructions, it’s well worth it.

[]7/28, 20:47[] I’m not sure how helpful I would be in a scientific area, but I’m always willing to try.

[]7/28, 20:49[] I’d require video evidence of it, then. 

[]7/28, 20:50[] But they are so fun, I’d forgotten how much.

[]7/28, 20:51[] No children of your own?

[]7/28, 20:54[] Never found the right person, but I always spent so much time on my degrees that I hadn’t really thought about being a parent. 

[]7/28, 20:55[] My Godson really brought it to light, though. I love having him here.

[]7/28, 20:56[] I bet he loves when you come around, or when they get to visit you, too.

[]7/28, 20:59[] I work in a science lab, with lasers and telescopes bigger than my first apartment. My approval rating is pretty high when it comes to my godson. 

Although Hotch finds that he doesn’t always start these interactions, the ones that lead to topics outside of work, he also isn’t against them in the slightest. They begin to start messaging at all hours, because of this; first thing in the morning, during their lunch break, whenever something pops up -- what used to be jokes that would just be kept to themselves, turn to conversation starters. And that development shifts the dynamic even more.

[]8/11, 10:31[] Coffee shops always make me feel old, and like I’m a grad student all over again.

[]8/11, 10:38[] You don’t have a T.A. to run and get you coffee?

[]8/11, 10:41[] Of course you would send out for coffee.

[]8/11, 10:42[] Well my order is two steps, not sixteen.

[]8/11, 10:43[] Tyrant.

[]8/11, 10:43[] Pretentious.

They start to tease, banter, and poke fun at each other. Comradery, friendship, and the more it goes on the more it seems to spiral towards something else. Something new.

But it’s these small moments, messages, conversations that can last a minute or an hour, that make Hotch’s chest feel so much lighter as the weeks go by. Hints of a smile easing onto his face, smoothing out and softening the edges in a way they haven’t in a long time. Garnering some attention from the rest of the team, or whoever is in the vicinity that felt brave enough to mention it.

“Who are you talking to?”

“Who’s the lucky lady?”

“No one,” Hotch would answer, schooling himself and pocketing his phone. “Just a consultant on a case.”

-

This is how it goes… for months. 

They never speak on the phone. Never even hint at video calls. Never send pictures. (Although Spencer does make a mention once or twice about that promised video when Hotch finally gets around to attempting the ‘physics magic’ experiment he’d emailed him. Hotch secretly hopes that maybe, one day, Spencer will just get to show them in person. Instead of Hotch having to record it for anyone to witness.)

But they talk like clockwork. Play chess on the regular, allowing them to talk more fluently with a laptop to aid the flow of conversation. It starts with once a week, then twice a week, standing dates after hours that meld so seamlessly with their messages every workday. They keep it to the weekdays, at first, since Hotch is busy with Jack on the weekends. But that doesn’t last long. Suddenly, without warning -- it becomes every night as well. That shift is such an organic, natural progression, that it slips in without either of them making comment on it. A silent agreement, because mentioning it would mean admitting why they were pushing this in such a new direction. 

They just… missed talking to each other. Two days was too long. 

Now, it’s every day.

They text for hours; check in on each other at random throughout the day even when Hotch is on cases or Spencer is busy with his duties as the leading doctoral expert of Caltech. Times when they should be swamped, unavailable to anything other than their primary focus and work load, still littered with short messages. Before and after each flight, when Hotch gets back to his hotel at night, when Spencer has to lecture out of town and they just so happen to be passing each other during travel -- mere states away. So close, yet so far. It’s all the time, it’s constant, and it’s wonderful.

Spencer still helps with cases. Often, even more often than he ever helped the L.A. field office. But it’s not always through email, anymore. Sometimes it’s just easier for Hotch to shoot him a quick text. A detailed message in the middle of their everyday banter and dribble but no less out of place, knowing the good Doctor will answer him quickly. Time is of the essence when they are on a case, but they are always on retainer for each other. Waiting in the wings, ready to jump in with quick, snappy wit and bitten-back smiles, and Hotch feels so good. So light. Better than he has in years. 

Happy. 

Hotch is happy, finding a friend in Dr. Spencer Reid, even if sometimes that friendship seems to transcend layers he didn’t know were there. Developing into something else, something he hadn’t touched in a long, long time. 

Months pass. Months. Like a blur. Like they’ve only just started this thing that’s anticipatory and comfortable and flexible in its medium and that is so easy -- everything Hotch needs in his life -- that he can barely imagine what his days and nights were like before this. Before Spencer. 

But it’s months into this correspondence, this charged and bright thing, that he’s home late one night with a Scotch in one hand and a losing game of online chess long forgotten on his laptop screen. Lost in messaging Spencer, back to his phone instead of the chat feature of the chess game. Because texting is their comfort zone, now. He never thought it would be, had seen teenagers and adults attached to their phones like a lifeline and used to scoff about it, but he finally has begun to understand. 

Because here he is -- not even looking up when he takes a drink -- lost in his conversation with Spencer. Making each other laugh, in a way he hasn’t in so long. Loud and high and afraid he might wake Jack down the hall so he stifles it with another sip of his Scotch.

[]9/8, 21:12[] If Jack wakes up, you know that’s it for us. He’ll never go back to sleep.

[]9/8, 21:13[] Then stop laughing so loud. I honestly can’t imagine you laughing enough to wake him.

[]9/8, 21:14[] Usually I don’t. I never laugh like this, but I used to.

[]9/8, 21:16[] Mr. FBI isn’t allowed to laugh, I thought. Didn’t they beat that out of you at the academy?

[]9/8, 21:19[] I was able to retain a smidgen of humor, it’s well hidden. You just seem to bring it out more than others.

[]9/8, 21:20[] I’m flattered. 

[]9/8, 21:20[] You should be. 

[]9/8, 21:21[] If my team saw me crack a smile I’d probably be forced to get a CAT scan.

[]9/8, 21:23[] Do you need one? I have an M.A. in Cognitive Sciences, I’ll be your second opinion.

[]9/8, 21:24[] Probably, but I’ll live.

[]9/8, 21:25[] Very stiff upper lip of you. They teach you that at the academy, too?

[]9/8, 21:26[] No, that would be Scotland Yard. I liaised there for a while.

[]9/8, 21:28[] Wow, you get around. Have you been anywhere else on your global exploration?

[]9/8, 21:31[] Hardly that, I just go where the bureau tells me. I’ve already been bounced all over the country before landing at the BAU. All you can do is keep the ‘stiff upper lip’ and adapt.

[]9/8, 21:31[] “Keep Calm & Carry On”?

[]9/8, 21:33[] Garcia gave me that on a mug last Christmas. I still don’t know what it’s from.

[]9/8, 21:34[] Your age is showing. Get with the times, old man.

[]9/8, 21:35[] You’re one to talk.

[]9/8, 21:35[] What?

Hotch bites back a smile, thinking about how for months he had been so sure Spencer was this elderly professor in his 60’s or 70’s that just happened to find their conversations interesting. That was… very apparently wrong, Hotch can see that now, but he hadn’t had any evidence to the contrary for the entire time they corresponded those first few months. 

He could have done a background check on the professor at any time, is sure Garcia already has one saved in a file ready to send him at his first request, but it’s more fun this way. The not knowing, the learning about each other piece by careful piece. Even the smallest bits of information, such as age. 

He bet Spencer would get a kick out of his first impression of the man, though.

[]9/8, 21:37[] Oh come on, you know.

[]9/8, 21:39[] No, I actually don’t. Congratulations, you’ve stumped the super genius.

[]9/8, 21:39[] But really, what do you mean?

[]9/8, 21:42[] I always just assumed you are at least ten years my senior, maybe even fifteen. How are you more with the times than I am?

[]9/8, 21:43[] I work at a University. I am surrounded by hormones and the dribble of youth.

There’s a slightly lengthy pause after that exchange, enough Hotch starts to pay closer attention through the buzz of liquor settled over his skin pleasantly.

[]9/8, 21:49[] How old do you think I am?

[]9/8, 21:50[] I don’t know, is it rude if I answer?

Hotch is not laughing to himself, he promises. 

[]9/8, 21:52[] Why do you think I’m older?

[]9/8, 21:53[] This feels like a trap.

[]9/8, 21:53[] It’s not.

[]9/8, 21:56[] Well, honestly just from your academic achievements. Not everyone has that kind of time. And all your departments you run, you have to have a pretty level head and knack for maturity to keep that all in order. Especially doctorate students. 

[]9/8, 21:58[] Thank you, I think.

[]9/8, 22:00[] I bet you’re the coolest old man on campus, though, don’t get me wrong.

Hotch does outright laugh after he sends that, manages to keep it a little bit quieter, and commends himself on having the upperhand in the conversation for once as he stares at his phone for a few minutes, awaiting an answer. 

If he had to guess, Hotch supposes he’s held on to that stubborn image of Spencer being a stooped old professor out of habit. But the more the two have talked, after he'd gotten to know the man and his written verbal expressions and just the way his life runs day to day, it’s pretty easy to see that that is not correct. Spencer could be someone around Dave or Jason’s age, but more likely even younger than that -- closer to his own. 

And that… is an intriguing thought that sparks something in his chest. He smothers it with another sip of Scotch and realizes that it has been a solid five minutes of silence. With Spencer not even typing out a response.

[]9/8, 22:06[] Was it something I said?

[]9/8, 22:07[] No, I’m just… contemplating my answer.

[]9/8, 22:07[] Answer to what?

Hotch hasn’t drank that much, but he doesn’t believe he asked a question at all. He scrolls back through their conversation and doesn’t see one. Spencer has asked a good handful, though, all about Hotch’s perception of his age. 

Interesting.

[]9/8, 22:09[] Respond, not answer.

[]9/8, 22:10[] I’m all turned around now.

[]9/8, 22:12[] Flustered in your old age? Now I’m flattered. 

This is almost like flirting. Skirts the edges of it, and Hotch feels more emboldened to try the more Spencer tap-dances around what is obviously Hotch’s incorrect assumption of his age. He had had no idea Hotch thought he was older, that is apparent, and it’s throwing the other man for a loop for some reason Hotch can’t ascertain. 

[]9/8, 22:15[] I’m not old.

[]9/8, 22:15[] I’m not even older than you.

[]9/8, 22:16[] And how do you know that?

[]9/8, 22:17[] Just trust me on this.

[]9/8, 22:17[] Well, how old are you?

Another long, lengthy pause that Hotch waits for with baited breath. He knows that Spencer is there, that he’s staring at his phone and trying to decide the best way to answer without really answering anything. It’s only a matter of minutes, but that is a long time for them. When they are deep in a conversation like this.

Hotch isn’t laughing to himself anymore, but he’s more pleasantly confused than worried. He really has no idea what is making Spencer so hesitant.

[]9/8, 22:22[] Spencer?

[]9/8, 22:25[] I’m not going to tell you.

[]9/8, 22:26[] What, you want me to guess?

[]9/8, 22:28[] You’ll never guess.

[]9/8, 22:29[] That sounds like a challenge. How many guesses do I have?

[]9/8, 22:31[] None. Listen, I don’t want you to know. I shouldn’t have said anything.

[]9/8, 22:33[] I’m afraid it’s going to change your perception of me, and we’ll stop talking like this.

[]9/8, 22:34[] Just keep imagining me with wrinkles and a cane, I’m okay with that.

That drops the small smile right off his face.

Hotch is… surprised by this turn of events. What could be so shocking about this that Spencer thinks they would stop talking to each other? They’re corresponding every night. How could he possibly stop on a dime like that?

It doesn’t make any sense. And that’s not the alcohol talking.

[]9/8, 22:37[] I honestly don’t see how that would be possible.

[]9/8, 22:39[] I’m not going to stop talking to you just because you aren’t the senior professor I imagined running Caltech with an Iron Fist.

[]9/8, 22:40[] Now you’re projecting. 

[]9/8, 22:40[] You saying I’m too strict?

[]9/8, 22:41[] Tyrant, I think was the term I chose. 

[]9/8, 22:42[] Pretentious.

[]9/8, 22:44[] But Spencer, unless you are somehow underage with five Ph.D.’s, there’s no reason for us to stop talking. 

[]9/8, 22:47[] You would not believe how many people treat me like I'm underage, to this day. So that doesn’t inspire confidence.

Hotch pauses with his glass halfway back to his lips, only a few sips left in the glass. Staring at his phone and struggling to make sense of what Spencer is saying. Hotch had been trying to joke and tease with him, but now the word ‘underage’ feels like a glaring beacon of a word on his screen. 

He’s very suddenly more than a little nervous, even through the haze of alcohol. He is 45 years old, no matter what he keeps telling Spencer -- there is a limit to this being appropriate or not. What that limit is, he’d have to consider when he’s more sober, and it makes him feel like he should be reigning in the flirtatious notes that keep worming their way into the conversation. 

But it’s not actually possible for him to be that young, and everything he’s learned about the man indicates he’s closer to his own age. Was he in his 30’s? Even that felt too young for what Hotch had (subconsciously) profiled -- no, it has to be something else. 

No matter what, he didn’t want to keep getting Spencer worked up like this about it. His age hadn’t bothered Hotch before that night, so maybe if he drops it they can revert back to how they’d been spending their late evening hours before this turn in the conversation. 

[]9/8, 22:50[] But I’m NOT underage.

[]9/8, 22:51[] If that needed to be said.

[]9/8, 22:53[] Can you buy alcohol by yourself?

[]9/8, 22:54[] Yes.

[]9/8, 22:54[] See this is what I was afraid of.

[]9/8, 22:55[] Relax, I was trying to tease you. 

[]9/8, 22:57[] You don’t have to tell me, Spencer. I’ll just keep picturing Sean Connery, or John Steinbeck in the later years.

[]9/8, 22:59[] I see you have a type. 

[]9/8, 23:00[] Well, who do you picture when you think of me?

[]9/8, 23:01[] Hugo Weaving, Matrix era. Or Richard Feynman.

[]9/8, 23:02[] Well now I feel typecasted. Who’s Feynman?

[]9/8, 23:02[] An American Theoretical Physicist from the 40’s-60’s.

[]9/8, 23:03[] Ouch. How old do you think *I* am?

[]9/8, 23:04[] I’m afraid to answer that.

[]9/8, 23:04[] O.u.c.h.

[]9/8, 23:06[] You’ve been borderline flirting with me, and you just said you thought I was in my 60’s! What was I supposed to think?

[]9/8, 23:07[] If you’re looking in that age bracket, I’m sure I can get you the Biology Department Head’s number.

[]9/8, 23:07[] He’s 72 with rheumatoid arthritis. 

[]9/8, 23:08[] You are hysterical. So funny.

Hotch is smiling wide down at his phone again, feeling lighter and glad he got them back on track. 

But… 

He can’t help but think back to what he just tried to drop entirely. Blame the Scotch, or whatever drive to know that makes him dig down and root out information in cold cases in his spare time, Hotch doesn’t think he can let it go. Not when it was something Spencer hadn’t meant to be a secret in the first place. Not when, knowing that it has created misinformation between them unintentionally, results in Spencer shying away and hesitant to tell Hotch anything more about himself. 

Not when he’d said ‘flirting’, because that had been what Hotch was doing, and he can’t even describe how disappointing it would be to quit while he was ahead. When the build up has been so gradual and easy and everything he’d been looking for and could never seem to find.

Now, this slight disruption is sticking in his mind, sharp like a thorn in his side. Always there, making itself known, and he wonders if he is lucid enough to try and draw the information out of Spencer via interview tactics -- or if the brilliant man would see right through any of his attempts.

Probably. Who was he kidding? Spencer had more degrees and college hours under his belt than Hotch could manage in a lifetime. Best to do this the old fashioned way, then.

[]9/8, 23:10[] 38.

[]9/8, 23:11[] Oh. Really? That’s kind of young to be Unit Chief, congratulations.

[]9/8, 23:11[] No, not me. You. I’m guessing 38.

[]9/8, 23:12[] Oh.

[]9/8, 23:12[] Incorrect.

[]9/8, 23:13[] I don’t even get a hint?

[]9/8, 23:13[] Nope.

[]9/8, 23:15[] We’re not playing a game. I’m not telling you.

[]9/8, 23:15[] So you won’t guess my age, either?

[]9/18, 23:17[] Chicken.

[]9/8, 23:17[] 45.

Hotch near throws his phone across the room. Almost makes a quip about how reading his file is cheating -- but he knows Spencer just made a stupidly accurate ‘educated guess’ because he knows fucking everything. 

They really should just put him on the payroll. Hotch is being selfish keeping the man all to himself.

But God, is he enjoying it, too.

[]9/8, 23:19[] There’s no way you profiled that with that kind of accuracy. 

[]9/8, 23:20[] How do you do that?

[]9/8, 23:21[] Black magic.

[]9/8, 23:22[] I’ll get it out of you one day, I swear.

[]9/8, 23:23[] And as a man of your word, I believe that you truly believe that.

[]9/8, 23:23[] Full of jokes tonight, aren’t you?

[]9/8, 23:25[] I live to amuse. 

[]9/8, 23:25[] And make you smile.

[]9/8, 23:27[] You are one of the few that do.

With a careful pause, nothing left in his glass, a thought perched on the edges of his mind that is already watery with cognitive dissonance, Hotch starts typing before he’s even fully made the decision.

[]9/8, 23:30[] You really think my flirting is borderline? I was going for subtlety, but I must be rusty.

[]9/8, 23:32[] Actually, I just thought I was projecting.

[]9/8, 23:23[] You were married, I didn’t want to presume.

Oh. 

The consideration is touching, and sobering even in the dimness of his home office, but it draws the softest of smiles back to Hotch’s face when he begins to type out his answer.

[]9/8, 23:35[] Thank you, for thinking of me first.

[]9/8, 23:37[] But Haley and I separated a long time before she died. We were actually divorced before she went into WICSEC. I miss her every day. But I did try to date for a while, before that. 

[]9/8, 23:39[] No luck? I would have thought the FBI badge would at least garner some interest.

[]9/8, 23:40[] I’ve been told I’m intimidating.

[]9/8, 23:41[] I don’t think you are.

[]9/8, 23:42[] You will if you ever meet me. I’ve made underlings cry before without speaking a word.

[]9/8, 23:44[] The Hotchner stare. Have you coined that?

[]9/8, 23:45[] I should. It’s got a ring to it.

They banter and causally slip a few more… flirtatious comments in, and Hotch realizes it really isn’t that much different than before. That he had indeed been flirting with the man long before he knew his age. Which was odd, he didn’t typically go for older men and women. But now that he’s aware Spencer is younger than he thought, possibly even his own age (he swears he is, would put money on it if he could), somehow there’s more of a charge in their correspondence, a warmth and buzzing elation that has nothing to do with his Scotch. Especially now that it’s long gone.

It’s all Spencer, and how they compliment each other, and Hotch finds himself near giddy with that information.

He tries, towards the end of the night where it tips over into the early hours of the morning, to imagine an image of Spencer again -- and finds that he doesn’t even care to. He’s enamored with the man and his wit and the way he makes Hotch laugh without trying. How he looks, his age, it doesn’t matter. Not really. Not to Hotch.

But he is still curious why Spencer won’t reveal it. He can’t be that young.

[]9/9, 00:43[] You really won’t tell me?

[]9/9, 00:45[] Maybe one day. When I’m feeling brave.

[]9/9, 00:46[] Well, I’ll be there. Waiting. 

[]9/9, 00:46[] 32.

[]9/9, 00:47[] You’ll never guess.

[]9/9, 00:48[] There’s only so many numbers.

[]9/9, 00:50[] Goodnight, Hotch.

[9/9, 00:51] Goodnight, Spencer.

-

(tbc...)

-

Tagged List:  @spencehotchner @ssa-sarahsunshine @gothamapologist @reidology @marsjareau @dragon-snaps-fandom​ @emmyraebird @just-an-emo-rat​​​ @aaron-hotchner187 @dk18077 @more-heid-pls @fakin-it-til-i-make-it @merpancake

[kuchee]

novelty / 2.7k / read on ao3; back on the trash train for a festive theme 🎁 right on time for @styleweek day 6 - holiday!

Kyle curses under his breath and backspaces several times. It's hard to write a text with only his thumbs poking out of his gloves, but he's damned if he's going to actually take them off in the freezing cold.

To: Stan 1.11PM

Can you come over and keep me company while I fry a gajillion donuts for my mom?

To: Stan 1.13PM

please?

There's no point in being annoyed about the situation–– it's not like he had any actual plans for today, other than mentally steeling himself for the family gathering tonight. Frying donuts is as good an activity as any to pass the time. He's always dreaded this time of year, when his mother hosts her extended family for the evening, usually on the first night of Hanukkah. Kyle gets saddled with the responsibility of making nice with dull cousins and answering invasive questions from aunts about his future. Last year he'd even gotten a couple of pointed remarks regarding hypothetical girlfriends.

The food is almost worth it, however.

He glances down to the miserably empty tote bag slung from his shoulder as he digs his keys out of his coat pocket. His failed attempt at gift shopping this morning is another reminder of how woefully strange the holidays are for him. He doesn't even know why he tried to get Stan a present. They don't do this normally–– it's no one's birthday. He just thought, it's different now. It's what a boyfriend should do, right? As a good boyfriend, he should be getting Stan a present, because Stan likes Christmas, and Stan loves presents. He was that kid who would be thrilled every year when his parents let him open one on Christmas Eve, even though they'd be like, pajamas, every time.

A string of buzzes makes his phone jump on the counter while he's untying his shoes.

Ma 1.17PM

You're an angel :)

Ma 1.16PM

Dough is covered on the dining table, pans in the cupboard above the sink.

Stan 1.14PM

Be there in 20. Want anything from store

Both texts make him smile through the mild distress haunting him since morning, the realisation that he has no idea what the fuck to get for Stan. While he's worrying about presents, Stan's still repeating the same line from when they were fifteen.

He knows where the dough is, he spied it before he left this morning, and presently he's attempting not to quail at the thought of getting through that amount. His mom had called while he was in the car–– she's out with Dad getting a few last-minute items from the warehouse store out of town, and an accident on the highway has put them an hour behind schedule, possibly more.

He doesn't mind. Living away for real has made him starkly aware of how little responsibility he had while living at home, and more than that, he wants to help out, especially if Stan comes to keep him company. These dinners stress his mom out, too.

Kyle gathers everything he needs, and at the last moment, decides to put on an apron. He doesn't want to have to change into anything else for tonight. He thinks he knows how to make the donuts, he's watched his mom do it through the years and helped her on occasion. She certainly assumed he did. His hands are sticky with dough when he hears footsteps in the corridor. He glances at his phone. Fifteen minutes, not twenty.

Stan enters the kitchen with a brief "hey, dude," and a smile that's probably less starry-eyed than the way Kyle's interpreting it.

The cold from outside radiates off him, but it's not enough to quell the urge Kyle gets to lean over and squeeze him. He settles on a smile, raising powdery white hands to show why he can't do more.

Stan promptly empties his backpack (firm on this front; he'd been the one to wean Kyle off plastic bags): chocolate chip cookies, a couple protein bars, and a bag of chips that he opens up, offering one up to Kyle's mouth.

Kyle eyes the flavouring on the packet, bacon cheddar, and then Stan, pointedly. "Really? Of all days?"

Stan rolls his eyes. "They're vegan. And like you care, anyway."

Kyle leans forward and takes it, and then two more, hoping this doesn't mean that Stan is attempting that again. His cheeks burn belatedly as he chews, with the dawning understanding that Stan just fed him, and they didn't do that before, but by the time he realises it, Stan has ducked away to the coffee maker.

"I thought you'd wanna be out," he says beneath the crinkle of the bag of chips. "Don't you need time to charge up before tonight?"

"I was out shopping. But my mom's stuck in traffic so she needs me to help her get ahead on preparations."

Stan nods his acknowledgement, and if he can read any hesitancy in Kyle's tone about his morning activities, he doesn't mention it. "Anything I can help with?"

"Can you dig out the lights? They should be in a box in the living room."

Stan returns with said box a minute later, dumping it on the counter a few paces from Kyle. Kyle's almost finished cutting out circles of donuts by now. They work side by side in silence. Kyle drums his fingers and watches the meter rise on the thermometer he sticks in the oiled pan, while Stan untangles the sets of fairy lights. Kyle's wondering if he should just give in and ask Stan "what they're doing about presents," when Stan speaks up and interrupts the thought.

"Are you coming for Christmas? My mom really wants you to come this year." The acute stare Stan directs his way indicates more than that – it's asking, does she know about us? Kyle wouldn't mind if she did, and he tells Stan as much through an easy nod. But it's still one step closer to his parents knowing, and he doesn't know if he wants to deal with that yet. Maybe after the holidays.

"I'll see," he says, giving up on the thermometer, which seems to be stuck at 300 no matter how high he turns up the heat. "For sure if my parents are away. But they might wanna spend more time together after Ike gets here." Ike––luckiest bastard in the whole town-–gets to skip the Hanukkah dinner because his vacation only starts a few days after. Kyle wishes he was still in college, just for that.

Suddenly, Stan lets out a surprised huff of laughter. Kyle turns to see him lifting a sprig of something olive green out of the box. It's an artificial mistletoe decoration with a huge, garish red ribbon wrapped around the stem.

"Dude, why do you even have this?" Stan says laughingly, lifting it in the air.

Kyle shakes his head at the absurd trinket. "I think Ike was trying to convince some girl to kiss him in high school. Probably." Stan nods but doesn't put it down, twiddling it between his thumb and forefinger with a distant expression. Kyle watches him from the corner of his eye. "What?" He smiles slyly, but it easily devolves into a snigger. "You thinking about whether you might finally get a hot girl to kiss you?"

"Blow me," Stan says without missing a beat. He smirks, but only for a moment. He puts the mistletoe down and turns to Kyle, that pensive look back in his eyes. "I really want you to come, too," he says. "I think– I'm pretty sure she does know," he glances at the ground, and then back up at Kyle again. "And I don't know, the way she was asking, and the way I answered, it was different than normal. It's like if you came, I'd be confirming it." He smiles, "Also, I need you there to drive me off a cliff when Dad starts getting drunk and trying to be buddies with Shelly's boyfriend twenty minutes into dinner."

That's fair reasoning, too. It's what he did last year, except it was up into the mountains, not off the edge of a cliff.

"Dude," Kyle says, turning to face him too, a little stunned at how shy Stan seems over this. It's not really a big deal, because Stan's mom is like, a sensible person, and they are close, but that just makes it prod warmer in Kyle's chest. Flour be damned. He puts his arms around Stan's shoulders, avoiding touching anything with his hands. "I'll come."

Stan squeezes him, his arms drawing tight and so warm around Kyle's waist, travelling up to his back. Kyle sighs contentedly. So that was a conversation. Sort of.

Stan leans his chin over Kyle's shoulder. "Also, your oil is burning."

Kyle pulls away, making a sound of utter annoyance. By the time he's got everything under control––and yes, maybe the donuts are looking a little too brown, whatever, they'll still be delicious–– Stan has returned to untangling lights. Kyle feels a little bad for giving him such a tedious task and thinks about swapping for the next round of dough-cutting and frying.

The next thing Stan finds in that box puts it out of his mind completely. Stan gapes. "Holy shit, dude. I made this."

He holds up a transparent plastic bauble in his palm, the size of a tennis ball, maybe a little bigger. "Dude," Kyle says, staring in wonder as the memory returns. It must have been something like fourth grade, when they were doing 'fill your own baubles' in class. Kyle had been irritated. It was right at the time he was becoming fully aware of just how pervasive this Christmas fervour was, and really only starting to be clued in that maybe it was that that made him feel so alone this time of year. A little estranged, uneasy, but nothing he could pinpoint to blame for it. Until he really thought about it. Kyle had spent the whole afternoon angrily snipping paper into non-denominational snowflakes, stuffing them into a cheap husk of a bauble that was too small in the end, for his creation to look anything like he wanted it to. Seething inside about if any of these teachers in this stupid school realised not everyone had stupid trees to hang stupid baubles off of, not everyone cared.

Stan hadn't gotten it – come to think of it, he had barely been paying attention – when Kyle ranted about it the day before. Kyle was too absorbed in his resentment to even talk to him during class. But afterwards, when he was stomping his way home, Stan had caught up with him, snow crunching wildly under his boots. Kyle turned to bark a warning at him not to run so he wouldn't slip, a recent careless injury of Stan's fresh and alive in his mind, but by the time he did, Stan was inches from him, panting, his gloved hands outstretched.

"Kyle, I made you this," he had said, breathless. "I know you're sick of all the Christmas shit."

Kyle looks at the bauble in Stan's palm now. It's a snowglobe. Stan had turned the bauble upside down, no string, and steadied the base with cardboard and tape. Tiny pieces of polystyrene snow littered the bottom. A minuscule toy car Stan had carried in his pocket once or twice was parked next to the flat facade of a house, coloured with thick marker ink– Kyle's house. Stan had been at the very cusp of a goth phase, which explained why the colours weren't exactly bright enough to recognise, but the stick-figure of Kyle standing by the door had resolved any doubt.

Kyle laughs delightedly at the memory and Stan holds it closer to the light from above the cooker so he can observe it, an identical grin plastered on his face. The scene has been dislodged a little from where everything initially was, from the years of being jostled around in the box, and the craftsmanship is a little less impressive than he had found it to be age eight, but the glowing warmth that had struck him, standing with Stan in the snow halfway to the bus stop in that grey afternoon, is unmistakable. Just as striking now as it was then.

Kyle thinks he's made peace with all the bells and whistles of the Christmas season; he's learnt to sympathise with the sentiment, if not the expression, of the way it fevers over a small town like this. People just need something to get them out of the routine, that's all.

His hands are oily so he doesn't want to take the snowglobe, get grease all over it, even noting how ridiculous that might sound referring to a decade-old flimsy school project. Instead his eyes dart around, spotting the mistletoe––considerably less valuable–– and he picks it up with a bashful smile in an attempt to convey what he's feeling.

"Seriously?" Stan's laughing again.

"Yes," Kyle says, grinning, glowing. It's not often he feels like he can catch Stan off guard with this kind of thing.

"Dumbass," Stan declares, before crossing the space between, a feeble attempt at a beleaguered sigh lost in yet more laughs.

Stan kisses him with both hands around his face, direct, unusual. It might be partly a way to avoid all the oil on Kyle's apron – his fastidious cleanliness in every other aspect of life never seemed to translate to any sort of ability in the kitchen. Kyle knows he's smiling dopily when Stan takes a step back, his cheeks a now-familiar red under the harsher lights above the cooker. They look at each other until Kyle has to stop to look at the donuts.

He speeds through another batch, and finally, all the frying is done. Once he has the sugar prepared to dust them, Kyle stops, brushes his hands down on his apron and says, "Stan, do I get you something? For Christmas? Is that a thing we're doing?"

After a few seconds, Stan says, thoughtfully, "I do have something for you."

Kyle gives a nervous laugh. He thought right– it is what they're doing now. But did Stan think he had to now, because they're in a relationship, or does it feel more natural for him, and did he know what to get Kyle–– or is he overthinking it?

Because Stan is smiling, and then his shoulders are shaking, and then he's laughing. It's not mean–– but Kyle doesn't feel like he's in the know, either.

"What?"

"I have an idea for a gift," he says. "Or you could say–" he coughs surreptitiously, advancing on Kyle. "-a favour." Stan leans forward and tilts his chin into a lingering kiss.

Oh. Well.

When Kyle's done enjoying that, he says, "You dick. I'm trying to have a meaningful conversation here."

Stan blinks. "So am I," he says innocently. "Please respect my Christmas traditions, Kyle."

"Fuck off."

"Fine, what about Hanukkah?" Stan asks, still too close for comfort, and still with that trace of embarrassment around the edges of his voice.

"It's not even about presents," Kyle emphasises, rolling his eyes.

"You wouldn't be saying that if you knew what I was getting you," Stan says, the stare through his lashes over-the-top and playful. His arms circle Kyle, braced on the counter either side of him. Kyle's embarrassed to admit it still works. Some other feeling is decidedly overtaking his burgeoning hunger from the smell of donuts.

"What?" he demands, eyes level with Stan's.

Stan tilts his head back. "Well since you don't want them…"

"What?" Kyle breathes again, and finds himself hoping with only a little shame that the traffic is still hellish out there. He lets his hand wander in the vicinity of Stan's pelvis, come back up and stop flat above his stomach, close to his quickening heart.

"Well I was gonna blow you, um, eight times."

Kyle can't help how his eyes widen.

"For every day of Hanukkah," Stan says. His voice wavers with the effort not to laugh, "that's– that's how it works, right?"

Kyle collects himself before he can burst out laughing at the ridiculousness – not an easy task. He manages to smirk despite the heat pooling fast in his face from the, uh, generosity of Stan's gift idea. "So, is that my present or yours?"

Stan's expression remains remarkably cool at his retort; Kyle is surprised to read only a little embarrassment in it. Asshole. He coughs and smiles, leaning into Kyle, "Does it matter? It's the thought that counts, dude."

[mystic-sky]

Do you have any headcannons for when Yuily and Mikhail are in heat (or something similar)? Thx

I’m assuming this stems from the imprinting nsfw one shot I did a while back? I’m not too familiar with werewolf mythology lmaoo. I hope I did okay? I know it’s a little long but please let me have this  Tagging this as NSFW but in my humble opinion it’s pretty light from what I usually write. Enjoy love~

Yuliy

I honestly believe that Yuliy’s childhood never really had time for “the talk.”

All concepts of sex probably eluded him until he hit puberty. Maybe Willard leaves a couple of books on the boy’s bedside, and tells him to ask questions once he’s finished. To Yuliy’s dismay, he did as he was told and held any further questions to himself until he finished all the sex ed literature.

I think it’d be sort of funny, because he’d start reading and think something was wrong. Had the professor given him the wrong book? Certainly not, since all of them were about the same thing.

Once he’s 15, he probably grasps the entirety of everything.

It starts with a fever, to which everyone thinks is normal. He’s stuck in bed for two or three days.

 Lots a sweating. He doesn’t like being clothed at all. But he adheres to the rules of society and remains dressed during the day.

He’s hungrier, like, so much hungrier. The boy’s skinny yet agile body consumes so much food this time of the year but doesn’t gain any weight. 

He does and doesn’t notice it in the beginning. It’s not until the excessive sexual aching starts that he’s aware something’s going on with his body.

He’s a reserved guy, so he doesn’t really like asking people for help all the time. He didn’t think that it was anyone else’s business but his own whenever he wanted to relieve himself more than once a day during his heat.

He’ll get dizzy and he sweats a lot still. He’ll tell everyone he’s tired and then go lay in bed, tossing and turning trying to figure himself out. He’ll teeth at his pillows and sheets. And he has a bad habit at nipping at the skin on his hands when it feels too good. No one can tell either, since he heals so quickly.

His baths are abnormally long during this time of year too, and Philip just doesn’t know why.

He’s pretty observant though, and he knows that it’s just him. Philip’s clearly as aloof as ever and he’s never seen Fallon get the dizzies and hot and bothered like himself. He’ll often think “Maybe they’re just better at hiding it than I am?”

As tempting as it is, he wants to ask Fallon about it. And eventually he does, but good lord, the boy can’t get the words out.

And Fallon’s a nice guy, not really pressuring the boy to spit it out so quickly. He gets what he means almost immediately. He tells him that it’s normal and that people do it all the time. 

His first crush, say its our Reader, would be pretty awkward for him. He starts identifying his sexual feelings with his emotional ones and directs them towards you, even though it feels wrong in the beginning.

He’s read his first erotic novel by now and then some, courtesy of Willard, and he can’t seem to imagine himself with you in that situation.

You were stupendously attractive to him, and always smiling at him. You were friendly with him, and always talking. To which you might have thought was annoying but it made things all the more easier on his own less talkative nature.

Then he has the dream about you, his first wet dream. Because until now he had nothing real to fantasize about.

Now you’re all he thinks about. In the middle of the night, in the bath. He wants to feel you more than anything. 

This though, is only during his heat. He’s pretty shy and reserved any other day. And if he can, he will refrain because you’re his friend and it still feels very wrong to him.

He goes into heat the next year, and it’s the worse it’s ever been.

His burning urge to mate keeps him up every night for next couple weeks, even after he brings himself to orgasm.

He’s realizing he wants human contact. And with his emotions in a mess having learned so many things about his brother and father, throwing his sexual desire for his crush in the mix made things very complicated- at least in Yuliy’s head. Everyone else is completely oblivious to his abnormally heightened sexual behavior.

What’s even worse is when he can’t orgasm because his body won’t let him. His nature has expected him to mate by now, but it’s a work and progress on his end.

Maybe you see him one morning and he’s the grumpiest looking thing ever. He’s got bags under his eyes and he tries his best to greet you normally like nothing’s wrong, but you suspect something’s stressing him out.

He still won’t tell you, and he’d be mortified if you found out.

He tells the professor finally, and he can only speculate it’s because of the werewolf boy’s heritage. The professor assures him it’ll pass, since it always does.

A few nights later he gets restless and takes a cold shower, which seems to be the only thing he can do to get himself to sleep for a few hours.

His body’s hot still even though he just came, and maybe you find him in the middle of the night lying against a wall on a quest for a glass of water.

He’s shirtless and he’s got a towel on his head but you know it’s him. You’re frightened a bit cause he’s sweating and panting profusely. You think it’s fever, and offer him some of the water. You offer to go get the professor but he stops you, and pulls you close to him. You’re on all fours and sitting between his legs but none of that caught you more off guard than the blue crystalline eyes that looked at you through his soaking wet bangs. 

He’s just panting at you, and the glass of water is surely all over the hall floor.

The towel slips off his head and onto the floor as he pulls your lips to his and presses a hard kiss against your mouth.

He pulls away and apologizes immediately. The boy rushes back to his room and avoids you for DAYS. He’ll wait his heat out before showing himself to you again.

Whether this moment happens or not (that’s completely up to you) his s/o learns about his werewolf bloodline eventually.

When Yuliy’s in a relationship his s/o can find keeping up with his heightened sexual behavior a bit overwhelming.

He’s often out of character, and he’ll be more touchy with you around company.

If you want to and can keep up with it, there’s a lot of sex during this time of year.

He’ll lose himself whenever he enters your warmth but somehow his stamina feels like it never drains.

He wants to be dominant 100% of the time, which I can imagine is different from your normal sex. It’s almost like you’re sleeping with a different man. 

Mikhail

He hasn’t been in heat since he turned, but I guess this will be a mixture of hypothetical AUs for your satisfaction.

Say he got his first heat when he was 13 or 14. Perhaps he turned when he was 15? But he looks younger than 25 after the 10 year time skip? But then again vampires are ageless… My brain fumbles here idk (I’d love to talk about theories of his age if anyone wants to msg me)

So he gets his first heat, and his mother is the first one that notices. Even though she’s human, Alexei was sure to tell her what’d it’d be like for both the of boys once they matured.

It starts out with the intense fever, lots of sleeping for him especially. Yuliy starts to notice that Mikhail is “sick” and can’t go hunting with him.

After the fever subsides, he tries to go back to his usual routine, but it’s hard.

He’ll eat more at dinner time, and Sachi is quite aware. It sparks a change in Yuliy, who now solely eats to be “big and strong” like his big brother.

Mikhail’s clothes don’t fit him anymore, and maybe an unusual growth spurt occurs here (mostly in height). It might have something to do with all the food he eats, but for the most part there isn’t any bizarre weight gain. 

Even when Sachi makes him new clothes, or let’s him wear some of his father’s clothes that he’d left behind, he doesn’t want to. His body’s too hot.

He wants to be naked all the time, and Sachi will come to find that his fever is reoccurring itself because he goes out every night in the snow to cool off.

She finally gives him the talk, and it’s when Yuliy’s fast asleep upstairs. His reaction isn’t too surprised, but he only wishes he could’ve had the talk with his Dad instead.

He’s still restless at night but at least he knows why now. His mother leaves the rest of his discomfort to him to figure out on his own when he’s alone in his room.

There weren’t a lot of people in their village. Especially not many from his age group, so I head cannon he see’s his first sexual preference in a near by town when he goes on a shopping trip and he’ll never forget it. 

Maybe it’s our reader, and he’s smitten by you. He left on the trip because he wanted to get as far away from family for a while. He sees you and the sexual atmosphere seemed to have followed him all the way out there.

His nature will force him to make conversation, and he’s more than enticed by your personality. Maybe you both become good friends and he’ll visit you often. He’s quite the flirt.

But he’s still young, and he thinks nothing much of it. He goes home and has his first orgasm in the middle of the night because of some dream he had about you. Sure it stemmed from a stranger, but he didn’t mind.

And because of this, he gets sleep for the first time in almost a month.

In a different AU, where he might not be vampire at all, he’ll have successfully learned how to handle his heat all on his own, cause he’s independent like that.

If he has an s/o, he won’t tell them about his heritage for a while. They’ll find about it through the same stages: the fever, the excessive sleep, the hunger, then lack of sleep and restlessness. 

If him and his s/o are at that point in their relationship he’ll walk around the house in sometimes next to nothing, and he’ll insist that it’s just because he’s hot. Even in winter weather, you’ll start to think your boyfriend just has a fetish for being naked.

He gets so kittenish, which is a bit different from his usual Dom behavior. He’ll rest his chin on your shoulder and nibble at your neck while you make dinner. 

And he’s almost irritated when you tell him to wait until you’re finished and he’ll whine at you, which is beyond his usual self. 

He’s the biggest, horniest baby. 

And if you don’t know about his heat yet then you just assume he’s taking a break from being the dominant one for a while.

Mikhail hates asking for help though. And it’s not until you find him one night on the bathroom floor in a pool of sweat, panting deeply.

You’re scared and you don’t know what to do. You think you should go call for help, but he insists he’s fine and that he just wants you come lay with him.

You tell him that you’ve had enough of this behavior, and that fever kills people, so you’re getting help. So he comes clean, and explains that no doctor can help him right now. 

After a glass of water and few damp clothes later, you’re a bit stunned. He tells you it’s only once a year, and that you don’t have to abide to having excessive amounts of sex with him if you don’t want to. 

“I’ve been dealing with it for years now. Don’t be so worried.” But how could you not be? 

I’d like to think this talk you guys have on the bathroom floor brings you closer.

So instills the sex therapy. He’s so submissive during this time, aching to be touched. 

You try your best not to tease him, but every tickle or brush of skin to skin makes him crumble at your feet. 

He’s actively trying to be dominant still and it’s almost amusing. He’s stuttering his words beneath your touch, and he often reaches orgasm pretty quickly and collapses from exhaustion.

Then there are the days when he can’t get off right away, and his werewolf stamina is in full motion until he does.

My favorite werewolf boy in heat

[golden-witch]

Rosa, Rosa, why are you such an idiot?

Hey! I wrote up a long character analysis of Rosa for fun. I hope you enjoy it.

[Read the full post under read more]

The narration mentions in Episode 2 that Rosa still feels like a child because she can’t accept and overcome her trauma which makes her an incapable mother. The banquet scene during the Tea Party has always been one of my favorite scenes in Umineko for its more somber aspects, something both the manga and the anime neglect in order to focus more on the horror themes. I’ll link it here because it’s the most important point of consideration when analyzing Rosa’s character. It certainly leaves an impression of what her childhood was like.

Some people were surprised to learn that Krauss and Eva were full fledged adults when they abused Rosa. If Eva and Krauss are in their 50’s and Rosa is In her early 30’s, that puts about a 20 year age difference between them! This isn't a case of sibling rivalry such as Eva vs. Krauss-- this is the abuse of a child by her adult siblings. We don't know the exact numbers, but we can assume Rosa is closer in age to the cousins than her eldest brother and sister. They suggest this several times in the story when Battler notes her odd position in the family. Rosa is treated as neither an adult nor child and is continuously forced out of conversations with her siblings. (Think of the scene in episode 2 where Kyrie manipulates Rosa to leave the room by gently reminding her that she's left Maria outside.) She acts submissively towards them and follows their guidance. This is likely why 12 year old Battler got the impression that she was “sweet”.

There's also the issue of her parents, who we can assume were neglectful if not equally abusive. I would imagine Kinzo would want as little to do with her as possible; he would have little incentive to raise her as she was a girl and because he was already committed to Beatrice II (who grew up alongside her). Rosa’s relationship with her mother is suggested to be strained (when Rosa talks about running away from home because she did badly on an exam), and I think-- as is the case with the other adults-- that she doesn’t remember the woman fondly.

The way Rosa behaves supports my impression that she grew up in a household where she was undervalued. It’s reasonable to assume she threw herself at the first man who treated her with the slightest bit of compassion and who offered her an opportunity to leave Rokkenjima. His character ended up being flimsy, but someone of Rosa’s background wouldn’t be able to notice the warning signs of abandonment. Rosa believes he left because of her pregnancy, but you could make the argument that he purposefully conned her and dumped her once he had the money Kinzo lent him. Having never been wanted before, Rosa would accept his behavior to feel desirable.

The relationship Rosa had with Maria’s father is one of two romantic relationships mentioned in the story, the other being her fling with the married man in Maria’s book (classy). I don’t know how accurately I can say this reflects all of her romantic endeavors, but we do know that Maria never makes note of any men who might have come in and out of her life. It seems that Rosa doesn’t bring her lovers home out of fear they will leave her due to Maria (as she believes her ex did), so I think the relationships were very shallow. Bringing a boyfriend or girlfriend home with her would have been a step in deepening their bond, but Rosa pushes them away perhaps out of fear they will one day leave her (#abandonment issues). She is in favor of short-term romances with a low level of commitment. This is why I can’t stand when people try to argue that the scene of Rosa in bed with her lover in episode 4 is just “Ange’s fabrication”! Everything about Rosa screams that was the truth of the situation.

“So Rosa sacrifices her time to have passionate one-night stands with guys she doesn’t even care about?” Sort of-- she feeds off of the attention they give her. It’s not very important who her lovers are so long as they acknowledge her as her family did not. She craves the external validation she was denied in childhood. There’s also something to be said about sex as a means of claiming adulthood. I can totally see why someone so insecure of their maturity would go so far.

I could talk a lot about what I make of Rosa’s relationship with other adults. If you want to discuss that further, totally send me an ask, but I’d like to dedicate the later half of the analysis to Maria. This is where I have to give a major content warning for discussions of violent child abuse.

The story alludes strongly to the idea that Maria is most likely on the autism spectrum. I don’t know if it’s canon, but after hearing from autistic fans that Maria resembles their experiences, I feel comfortable saying that she’s neurodivergent. It’s not my place and not within the scope of this essay to make claims about Maria’s mental health, but we should take into account how her behavior affects her relationship with her mother. Nothing Maria does is “abnormal” for a child (I would argue there are no abnormal children); Rambler once answered an ask about a “what if” scenario where Maria was neurotypical and gave the answer that it probably wouldn’t matter in terms of Rosa abusing her. Rosa vents her anger towards Maria. It doesn’t matter if she is a “problem child” or not.

Maria is continuously said to be different from her peers, and differences breed scorn. Rosa wants Maria to be “normally” behaved so she will be acknowledged as a good parent and an adult. Kids are seen as reflections of their parents, and she sees Maria as a threat to her reputation-- especially in front of her siblings, who openly mock her. Ironically, Rosa plays into this expectation; she was considered incompetent as a child and incompetent as an adult. She wants to defy that expectation so badly that she ends up beating her child. It’s a cycle she puts no effort into breaking. For that she should be seen as a deplorable character and an abuser. I believe Ryukishi wanted it to be obvious that Rosa is a neglectful and irresponsible, sometimes violent mother.

Let’s break down their relationship.

Rosa-- at her heart-- cares about Maria’s wellbeing. She acknowledges she should have been a more accepting mother and recognizes that her actions were wrong-- Most notably in episode 8 in the Golden Land. Unfortunately, she is only able to consider mending her relationship with Maria in retrospect since she is, of course, at that point dead.  I believe this indicates that she had the capacity to change her behavior, and it a better universe, she would be able to become a good parent. This is all hypothetical, though there is enough in the story to hint that this was a strong possibility had Sayo not given up on the family. If only someone had intervened successfully…

Ryu also wants us to consider that Rosa is protective of Maria against outside threats. He refers to her as both a mother bear and a mother wolf who will bear fangs when her child is in danger. The story supports this in episode 2 when Rosa fights to protect her daughter from the goats. On the contrary, it is suggested that Rosa’s abuse of Maria stems from how others interpret Maria’s behavior. I don’t really understand how Rosa can both be “protective” of Maria and brutal towards her daughter depending on external threats. I think this is supposed to be further evidence (intentional or not) that Rosa is unbalanced and acts inconsistently.

It was exceedingly difficult for Rosa to manage raising a child. Her polarizing behavior was what led Maria to come up with the “white witch/black witch” concept since a child couldn’t make sense of something so complex. Rosa explains during episode 2 that she often spoiled Maria, and this is seen in episode 4 when she takes Maria out for dessert at a restaurant she can’t afford. This is exemplary of Rosa’s genuine feelings of affection for Maria which she is at a loss for ways to convey. A girl who grew up rich and neglected may see objects as a means to soothe wounds. Her lingering guilt causes her to feed into Maria’s material wants without considering her emotional needs. She overcompensates with gifts. Maria would cry and demand presents, and Rosa would either buy into it to satisfy her or beat her into submission. Neither of these are good parenting!

The reason why CPS is notified about Rosa’s behavior has to do with parental neglect; Rosa left Maria by herself for too long for too many times. We know from Maria’s diary that Rosa was often absent and used the excuse that she was working late into the night and for days at a time, and we know of one instance where Rosa lied and instead went on vacation. However, we can’t say that Rosa was always on vacation when she left Maria alone. I personally believe that Rosa would engage in some unhealthy working habits to offset the cost of her frivolous lifestyle.

More headcanons that I have are that these bursts in irregular behavior for Rosa happened clustered together. Basically, Rosa would irresponsibly work for multiple days straight and then impulsively abandon her daughter to go on vacations in a predictable pattern. I believe Rosa suffers from bipolar II-- the sort of self-sabotaging behavior she engages in is evidence. She wants her business to succeed, but risks its stability. She wants to be a good mother, but she abuses Maria. Her sudden fits of rage and violent mood swings could be connected to this because it's a common symptom for those with mood disorders. I don't think it's out of the question to say that she was suffering from a manic episode during the period Maria writes about in her journal. This isn't to say that people with bipolar II are abusers, I'm just suggesting some of her behavior can be explained this way. This comes from my own experiences and observations, so please don’t take my word for it. I’m just offering up an interpretation.

Anyway, if you want to hear more about Rosa as an abuser, and why she’s responsible for her actions, check it out here!

[mogchedechar1976-blog]

I love you for saying this. Look iam sorry i dont like any of the gay male youtubers. I have tried to watch but i am a cisgender female so their make up is usually to drag for my tastes and the presentation is so extra and seems like an act. I can't believe I forgot about The Big Sick. It's the only one in the recent past that has any kind of big studio attached to it. I did manage to remember a couple other ones too. This is as opposed to, for example, the United Methodist Church I was raised in that has openly gay members/employees, BUT I don think the congregation would accept an openly gay preacher, youth minister, etc. This church exists in the area between "fully accepting of homosexuality" and "send gay kids to conversion therapy" where I believe most churches in this country exist. You seem to think it one or the other, that the area in between doesn exist.. But I did it. I got 88 and now I studying law before my 21st birthday. I feel normal. To sell a business you have to show the potential buyer that it is indeed viable for long term. No one will buy a business that is a few months old, as it hasnt shown its viability. It takes usually a minimum of a couple years to strike interest in buyers. Between us, we agreed on four different A stories and eight B and C stories that would form the basis of our episodes (which were, hypothetically, the first four episodes of a series). We then worked with a script editor our main point of contact and liaison between us and the producers to deliver the two treatments and two script drafts of our assigned episode. We had to be prepared 원주출장안마 to roll with any changes that were thrown at us, based on the kinds of thing that might come up when writing on the show. These threads where people are talking about shoplifting like it doesn't hurt people outside of the CEO piss me off. I had to take so many phone calls from corporate where they'd literally scream at us over shrink, I had to coax salespeople into coming into work the next day after a thief spit in their face, I had to worry about whether or not my hours were going to get cut because shrink was getting so high because of organized gangs of shoplifters. And I 원주출장안마 actually had someone tell me to just find a new job if I didn't like it?! Like it's that easy! How about people just not steal?. I think a lot of what I do stems from how I was raised, not that it was a bad upbringing, just literally the environment. Neither my father nor my mother were very hard on me, I didn have issues with friends or abuse or anything like that. On paper, I should been absolutely fine. Too many people get those dogs and don quarantine them long enough. There are literally tens of thousands of dogs needing homes in the US. Why are they doing this? AND, this whole idea of "kill" or "No kill" shelters is causing problems. We definitely plan on a prenup if/when we get married. We about to move in together, so we currently working through how to split expenses. I have the higher, consistent income right now while he been trying to run his own business his expenses and income are inconsistent, which makes it hard to budget. To the flurry of fancy new American museum buildings add Diller + Scofidio's Institute of Contemporary Art, Boston, slated for completion in 2006. Happily, the New York based team's recently unveiled design has little in common with many of its overblown contemporaries, such as Santiago Calatrava's monumental addition to the Milwaukee Art Museum and Daniel Libeskind's zany Denver Art Museum. Functional, spare, site specific, and downright petite at sixty two thousand square feet, Diller + Scofidio's ICA stems the Bilbao inspired tide of marquee museums, which, more often than not, have proved to be unsympathetic to art viewing and expensive to maintain.

[deniscollins]

Outcry Over EpiPen Prices Hasn’t Made Them Lower

About 15 million Americans have food allergies. One solution is the EpiPen, which Mylan has an effective monopoly on the life saving drug. Last year EpiPen gained tremendous negative publicity for ratcheting up its price to $609 for a box of two. If you were a Mylan executive, would you: (1) weather the bad media and maintain the same price or (2) reduce the price (and if so, by how much?)? Why? What are the ethics underlying your decision?

A few weeks ago, after some particularly incompetent parenting on my part (nuts in the dessert, a rushed trip to an emergency room after my child’s allergic reaction), I visited the local pharmacy to fill an EpiPen prescription.

You might recall EpiPen as last year’s poster child for out-of-control drug prices. Though this simple medical device contains only about $1 of the drug epinephrine, the company that sells it, Mylan, earned the public’s enmity and lawmakers’ scrutiny after ratcheting up prices to $609 a box.

Outraged parents, presidential candidates and even both parties in Congress managed to unite to attack Mylan for the price increases. By August, the company, which sells thousands of drugs and says it fills one in every 13 American prescriptions, was making mea culpas and renewing its promise to “do what’s right, not what’s easy,” as the company’s mission statement goes.

So I was surprised when my pharmacist informed me, months after those floggings and apologies had faded from the headlines, that I would still need to pay $609 for a box of two EpiPens.

Didn’t we solve this problem?

Not quite. What’s more, Mylan is back in the news. On Wednesday, regulators said the company had most likely overcharged Medicaid by $1.27 billion for EpiPens. The same day, a group of pension funds announced that they hoped to unseat much of Mylan’s board for “new lows in corporate stewardship,” including paying the chairman $97 million in 2016, more than the salaries of the chief executives at Disney, General Electric and Walmart combined.

Over the last several weeks, I’ve spoken with 10 former high-ranking executives at Mylan who told me that they weren’t surprised EpiPen prices were still high. Nor were many startled by last week’s developments.

Mylan, they said, is an example of a firm that has thrived by learning to absorb, and then ignore, opprobrium. The company has an effective monopoly on a lifesaving product, which has allowed its leaders to see public outrage as a tax they must pay, and then move on.

Mylan has been called out again and again over the years — by the company’s own employees, regulators, patients, politicians and the press — and hasn’t changed, even as revenue has skyrocketed, hitting $11 billion last year. The firm is a case study in the limits of what consumer and employee activism, as well as government oversight, can achieve.

Which means this time, if we’re hoping for a different outcome, something more needs to be done.

To understand Mylan’s culture, consider a series of conversations that began inside the company in 2014. A group of midlevel executives was concerned about the soaring price of EpiPens, which had more than doubled in the previous four years; there were rumors that even more aggressive hikes were planned. (Former executives who related this and other anecdotes requested anonymity because they had nondisclosure agreements or feared retaliation. Aspects of their accounts were disputed by Mylan.)

In meetings, the executives began warning Mylan’s top leaders that the price increases seemed like unethical profiteering at the expense of sick children and adults, according to people who participated in the conversations. Over the next 16 months, those internal warnings were repeatedly aired. At one gathering, executives shared their concerns with Mylan’s chairman, Robert Coury.

Mr. Coury replied that he was untroubled. He raised both his middle fingers and explained, using colorful language, that anyone criticizing Mylan, including its employees, ought to go copulate with themselves. Critics in Congress and on Wall Street, he said, should do the same. And regulators at the Food and Drug Administration? They, too, deserved a round of anatomically challenging self-fulfillment.

When the executives conveyed their anxieties to other leaders, including the chief executive, Heather Bresch, these, too, were brushed off, they told me.

Those top leaders’ responses are a far cry from the message on Mylan’s website, which says that “we challenge every member of every team to challenge the status quo,” and that “we put people and patients first, trusting that profits will follow.”

But Mylan is a prime example of how easy it is for leaders to say one thing publicly and act differently in private. When we talk about consumer or employee activism, we tend to focus on firms like United Airlines, which quickly apologized and changed its policies after a video emerged of a passenger being dragged off a plane.

However, in many other cases, outrage is ineffective. Mylan’s behavior persists because it is hard, and often tedious, for employees and the public to continue complaining — particularly when bosses disagree, or when some newer outrage appears on our Facebook feed.

But the costs of going silent are real. Regulators missed an opportunity to reform Mylan in 2012 when the company produced a television commercial showing a mother driving her son to a birthday party and implying that he could eat whatever he wanted, despite his nut allergy, as long as an EpiPen was nearby to counteract a reaction. The commercial also suggested that an EpiPen was a sufficient treatment on its own.

Mylan knew neither of those was true, according to executives from that period. In fact, Mylan had recently started a major lobbying effort to encourage schools to stock EpiPens by arguing that people with serious food allergies are always at risk, and that EpiPens were a necessary supplement to emergency medical treatment.

Before the birthday advertisement aired, the ad went through multiple internal review processes. Mylan executives told Ms. Bresch that the commercial was improper. One employee went so far as to send an internal email saying the advertisement would increase the frequency of allergic reactions, according to a person who saw the correspondence.

Ms. Bresch disagreed. She said it was better to act boldly, according to a former executive who participated in that conversation.

So the advertisement went on television. And a record number of consumer complaints arrived at the Food and Drug Administration. The agency ordered the commercial pulled after just a few days because it was “false and misleading,” “overstates the efficacy of the drug product” and “may result in serious consequences, including death.” The agency ordered Mylan to broadcast another ad, this one acknowledging that the “EpiPen cannot prevent an allergic reaction.”

But regulators never investigated why Mylan’s internal protocols had allowed the dangerous ad to air. And a year later, Mylan received something akin to a government endorsement. President Barack Obama signed a federal law encouraging schools to stock emergency epinephrine supplies. The White House celebrated it as the “EpiPen Law.”

When I approached Mylan about these and other anecdotes, the company disputed employees’ accounts. In a statement, it wrote that “any allegations of disregard for consumers who need these lifesaving drugs, government officials, regulators or any other of our valued stakeholders are patently false and wholly inconsistent with the company’s culture, mission and track record of delivering access to medicine.”

Mr. Coury declined to be interviewed, but Ms. Bresch sat down with me last month at Mylan’s Manhattan offices. She said that Mylan was “a pretty rare and unconventional company,” and that it was focused on delivering low-cost drugs. A broken health care system, she said, is responsible for the inefficiencies and high prices that plague consumers.

She added that Mylan had responded promptly when the Food and Drug Administration criticized the company’s advertisement in 2012, and that the EpiPen had become more expensive because Mylan had invested in public awareness and improving the device.

“Look at what we’ve built, and what we deliver day-in and day-out,” Ms. Bresch told me, “and at the center of all of that is the patient.”

But it seems hard to reconcile those comments with allegations from employees, regulators and other companies. In December, attorneys general in 20 states accused Mylan and five other firms of conspiring to illegally keep prices high on an antibiotic and a diabetes drug. In October, Mylan returned nearly a half-billion dollars to the federal authorities in an attempt to stem the investigation into overcharging that regulators cited on Wednesday. And in April, one of Mylan’s competitors, Sanofi, filed a lawsuit accusing the firm of committing antitrust violations to keep an EpiPen competitor off the market.

Then there are situations that, at other firms, might have set off firings or corporate soul-searching, but that at Mylan caused neither. In 2007, reporters discovered that Ms. Bresch had not received the M.B.A. degree she claimed on her résumé. In 2012, Mr. Coury was criticized by investors and the media for repeatedly using the company plane to fly his son to music concerts. (And then there was the time, in 2013, when Mr. Coury, at a Goldman Sachs conference, indicated his dislike for hypothetical questions by saying that “if your aunt had balls, she’d be your uncle.”)

In our interview, Ms. Bresch said there was nothing in Mylan’s culture she would change. The company also said it had found no evidence of price-fixing or antitrust behavior, that the government overcharges had resulted from an innocent disagreement over regulatory interpretations and that Mylan’s compensation policies were appropriate.

“We are a for-profit business, and we have a commitment to shareholders,” Ms. Bresch told me. “But I think if there’s any company out there that has demonstrated you can do good and do well, we’re one of the few.” For instance, Ms. Bresch noted that Mylan had recently released a generic version of EpiPen.

When I asked my pharmacist for the generic EpiPen, he told me that I would have to wait 90 minutes, until he could get my doctor on the phone to authorize the substitution. Then, he charged me $370 for the generics.

Mylan points out there are online coupons for EpiPen customers. In fact, the company says that since it came under attack in August, nearly 90 percent of EpiPen buyers have paid less than $100 per box because of insurance, discounts or coupons.

But for parents in urgent need of an EpiPen, or for patients who are poor, are not internet savvy or have high insurance deductibles — which are increasingly common — those programs can mean little. The most vulnerable often end up paying the highest prices, which is troubling when you consider that 15 million Americans have food allergies.

But hope springs eternal. With the recent criticisms coming on the heels of last year’s controversies, Mylan will have to change, right?

Perhaps. But only if people stay angry and active. Doctors need to write different prescriptions. Pharmacists need to guide patients to alternatives. Investors should examine further efforts to elect new Mylan board members.

In the meantime, I still believe — perhaps foolishly — that sustained attention might create change. And so, as long as Mylan flouts the norms of good corporate behavior, it seems worth continuing to scrutinize what the company is doing, and questioning why EpiPens cost so much.

[nancyedimick]

Mother concludes she’s lesbian, leaves conservative religious household — should that affect child custody decision?

From In re Marriage of Black, decided Thursday by the Washington Supreme Court:

Rachelle and Charles Black were married for nearly 20 years and have three sons. They raised their children in a conservative Christian church and sent them to private, Christian schools. In 2011, Rachelle told Charles that she is a lesbian.

In the order of dissolution, the trial court designated Charles as the primary residential parent. The final parenting plan also awarded Charles sole decision-making authority regarding the children’s education and religious upbringing. But the record shows that the trial court considered Rachelle’s sexual orientation as a factor when it fashioned the final parenting plan. Further, improper bias influenced the proceedings. This bias casts doubt on the trial court’s entire ruling, and we are not confident the trial court ensured a fair proceeding by maintaining a neutral attitude regarding Rachelle’s sexual orientation. Accordingly, we reverse….

To guard against discriminatory impulses in custody proceedings, many jurisdictions prohibit consideration of a parent’s sexual orientation unless there is an express showing of harm to the children…. Washington courts apply an analogous requirement for “strict impartiality” regarding parents’ conflicting religious beliefs….

The record here shows the trial court did not remain neutral when it considered Rachelle’s sexual orientation as a factor for determining provisions in the parenting plan. Although the trial court concluded that Charles is the more stable parent for a number of potentially legitimate reasons, including his availability to the children and the parenting duties he performed in the years preceding the dissolution, the record indicates that Rachelle’s sexual orientation influenced the trial court’s written ruling and final parenting plan. For example, the trial court found that Charles was the more stable parent in part because he is better suited to maintain the children’s religious upbringing, which includes certain beliefs about same-sex relationships:

Here, [Charles] is clearly the more stable parent in terms of the ability to provide for the needs of these children, both financially as well as emotionally and in maintaining their religious upbringing. These children have been taught from the Bible since age 4. I believe it will be very challenging for them to reconcile their religious upbringing with the changes occurring within their family over issues involving marriage and dissolution, as well as homosexuality.

[E]ven though the trial court here did not explicitly suggest that Rachelle’s sexual orientation made her an unfit parent, its reasoning is nevertheless clear: the children are allegedly uncomfortable with homosexuality due to their religious upbringing, Charles — a heterosexual who shares those same beliefs — is better suited to maintain that religious upbringing, therefore, he is the more stable parent. [Kelly Theriot Leblanc, the guardian ad litem (GAL) assigned to this case] advocated this same reasoning in her final recommendation and in her testimony, which the trial court relied on and largely adopted in its final ruling. Absent any other evidence, such reasoning unfairly punishes a parent in a custody proceeding on the basis of her sexual orientation.

The trial court also adopted a restriction on Rachelle’s conduct that prohibited her from discussing “alternative lifestyles” with her children:

[Rachelle] is ordered to refrain from having further conversations with the children regarding religion, homosexuality, or other alternative lifestyle concepts and further that she be prohibited from exposing the children to literature or electronic media; taking them to movies or events; providing them with symbolic clothing or jewelry; or otherwise engaging in conduct that could reasonably be interpreted as being related to those topics unless the discussion, conduct or activity is specifically authorized and approved by Ms. Knight.

These references indicate the trial court based its ruling, at least in part, on Rachelle’s sexual orientation. The prohibitions assume that a parent’s discussion of sexual orientation or her own life and beliefs would have a negative impact on the children….

In addition to the trial court’s written ruling and final parenting plan, the record indicates that improper bias influenced the trial court’s decision. For example, Leblanc made several problematic statements suggesting she was biased against Rachelle.

First, Leblanc repeatedly referred to Rachelle’s sexual orientation as a “lifestyle choice.” This is contrary to our current understanding of sexual orientation. See Obergefell, 135 S. Ct. at 2596 (“Only in more recent years have psychiatrists and others recognized that sexual orientation is both a normal expression of human sexuality and immutable.”).

Second, Leblanc suggested that the controversy surrounding Rachelle’s sexual orientation could harm the children by inviting bullying. Other courts have expressly rejected this reasoning in custody disputes. See, e.g. Palmore v. Sidoti, 466 U.S. 429, 433 (1984) (“Private biases may be outside the reach of the law, but the law cannot, directly or indirectly, give them effect.”) [Palmore rejected a similar argument that having a child be raised in a mixed-race family would lead to bullying by peers -EV].

Third, Leblanc recommended an unconstitutional restriction of Rachelle’s conduct that prohibited her from discussing religion, homosexuality, and “other alternative lifestyle concepts” with her children. At trial, Rachelle’s counsel asked Leblanc if she thought it would be fair to similarly limit Charles from having those same conversations. Leblanc admitted that it would be fair in light of the tension between the teachings at the children’s church and Rachelle’s sexual orientation. But Leblanc ultimately did not recommend a similar restriction on Charles’ conduct despite this testimony.

Finally, Leblanc’s opinion that Charles is the more stable parent seems to stem from a belief that Rachelle caused the separation:

[Rachelle] did choose to spend a large majority of her time away from the home over the past three years; did choose to terminate the marriage; and is planning on living with [her partner]. All of those decisions were a matter of choice and all of those choices are inconsistent with teachings and principles that she and [Charles] elected to share with their children. [Rachelle’s] choices did disrupt her relationship with the children and given the family’s faith and historical belief system, the choices have also created a great deal of controversy and confusion.

But “custody and visitation privileges are not to be used to penalize or reward parents for their conduct.” [Citing Washington precedents.]

I think this is analysis is right, just as it is with regard to parents who adopt a new religion that differs from their old. Indeed, I would have liked to see the court even more sharply condemn the restrictions on the mother’s speech, which I think independently violate the First Amendment as well (I discuss that more in my Parent-Child Speech and Child Custody Speech Restrictions article).

One thing that I’d quibble with is the focus on the references to Rachelle’s lesbianism as a “choice.” Imagine the same thing happening in a household where the woman was solidly bisexual, in the sense of finding relations with men and with women to be comparably satisfying (as I understand it many women who have sexual and romantic relationships with women are) — I can’t speak to whether Rachelle herself falls into this category, but consider that as a hypothetical.

In that situation, one can reasonably label the decision to move to a relationship with a woman and away from the relationship with a man to be a choice. The ability to be attracted to people of either sex appears not to be choice — but the decision of whom to be with, among those you’re attracted to, is a choice (as much as a straight woman’s decision about which man to marry is a choice, or a person’s decision about which religion to follow is a choice).

Yet it seems to me that this hypothetical bisexual Rachelle should be treated the same way as a purely or predominantly lesbian Rachelle. (I can see the argument that one should sympathize more with someone who finds, even after 20 years of marriage, that she can’t get sexual and romantic satisfaction at all with a man, than with someone who could get such satisfaction but finds that she would now prefer a woman; but I think that this is on balance not much of a distinction.) If we are to have a no-discrimination-based-on-same-sex-sexual-conduct rule (and I think it’s generally a good rule for the government to have, including in custody cases), that should apply regardless of whether the sexual preference or the conduct that it leads to is a “choice” — just as a no-discrimination-based-on-religious-beliefs-and-teachings rule applies even though we generally view religious beliefs as a choice.

Maybe in some states this hypothetical woman could be properly faulted for being the person who left the marriage (if the states do not follow the Washington rule that “custody and visitation privileges are not to be used to penalize … parents for their conduct” in leaving the marriage), regardless of the sex of her new partner. But she shouldn’t be faulted for her new same-sex relationship being a “choice.”

In any event, though, that’s a fairly minor quibble here; the overall result seems quite right. For a 2004 Colorado case (In re E.L.M.C.) in which a court reversed a restriction on the religious parent criticizing homosexuality to the children, see this post.

Originally Found On: http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/volokh-conspiracy/wp/2017/04/10/mother-concludes-shes-lesbian-leaves-conservative-religious-household-should-that-affect-child-custody-decision/

[wolfandpravato]

Mother concludes she’s lesbian, leaves conservative religious household — should that affect child custody decision?

From In re Marriage of Black, decided Thursday by the Washington Supreme Court:

Rachelle and Charles Black were married for nearly 20 years and have three sons. They raised their children in a conservative Christian church and sent them to private, Christian schools. In 2011, Rachelle told Charles that she is a lesbian.

In the order of dissolution, the trial court designated Charles as the primary residential parent. The final parenting plan also awarded Charles sole decision-making authority regarding the children’s education and religious upbringing. But the record shows that the trial court considered Rachelle’s sexual orientation as a factor when it fashioned the final parenting plan. Further, improper bias influenced the proceedings. This bias casts doubt on the trial court’s entire ruling, and we are not confident the trial court ensured a fair proceeding by maintaining a neutral attitude regarding Rachelle’s sexual orientation. Accordingly, we reverse….

To guard against discriminatory impulses in custody proceedings, many jurisdictions prohibit consideration of a parent’s sexual orientation unless there is an express showing of harm to the children…. Washington courts apply an analogous requirement for “strict impartiality” regarding parents’ conflicting religious beliefs….

The record here shows the trial court did not remain neutral when it considered Rachelle’s sexual orientation as a factor for determining provisions in the parenting plan. Although the trial court concluded that Charles is the more stable parent for a number of potentially legitimate reasons, including his availability to the children and the parenting duties he performed in the years preceding the dissolution, the record indicates that Rachelle’s sexual orientation influenced the trial court’s written ruling and final parenting plan. For example, the trial court found that Charles was the more stable parent in part because he is better suited to maintain the children’s religious upbringing, which includes certain beliefs about same-sex relationships:

Here, [Charles] is clearly the more stable parent in terms of the ability to provide for the needs of these children, both financially as well as emotionally and in maintaining their religious upbringing. These children have been taught from the Bible since age 4. I believe it will be very challenging for them to reconcile their religious upbringing with the changes occurring within their family over issues involving marriage and dissolution, as well as homosexuality.

[E]ven though the trial court here did not explicitly suggest that Rachelle’s sexual orientation made her an unfit parent, its reasoning is nevertheless clear: the children are allegedly uncomfortable with homosexuality due to their religious upbringing, Charles — a heterosexual who shares those same beliefs — is better suited to maintain that religious upbringing, therefore, he is the more stable parent. [Kelly Theriot Leblanc, the guardian ad litem (GAL) assigned to this case] advocated this same reasoning in her final recommendation and in her testimony, which the trial court relied on and largely adopted in its final ruling. Absent any other evidence, such reasoning unfairly punishes a parent in a custody proceeding on the basis of her sexual orientation.

The trial court also adopted a restriction on Rachelle’s conduct that prohibited her from discussing “alternative lifestyles” with her children:

[Rachelle] is ordered to refrain from having further conversations with the children regarding religion, homosexuality, or other alternative lifestyle concepts and further that she be prohibited from exposing the children to literature or electronic media; taking them to movies or events; providing them with symbolic clothing or jewelry; or otherwise engaging in conduct that could reasonably be interpreted as being related to those topics unless the discussion, conduct or activity is specifically authorized and approved by Ms. Knight.

These references indicate the trial court based its ruling, at least in part, on Rachelle’s sexual orientation. The prohibitions assume that a parent’s discussion of sexual orientation or her own life and beliefs would have a negative impact on the children….

In addition to the trial court’s written ruling and final parenting plan, the record indicates that improper bias influenced the trial court’s decision. For example, Leblanc made several problematic statements suggesting she was biased against Rachelle.

First, Leblanc repeatedly referred to Rachelle’s sexual orientation as a “lifestyle choice.” This is contrary to our current understanding of sexual orientation. See Obergefell, 135 S. Ct. at 2596 (“Only in more recent years have psychiatrists and others recognized that sexual orientation is both a normal expression of human sexuality and immutable.”).

Second, Leblanc suggested that the controversy surrounding Rachelle’s sexual orientation could harm the children by inviting bullying. Other courts have expressly rejected this reasoning in custody disputes. See, e.g. Palmore v. Sidoti, 466 U.S. 429, 433 (1984) (“Private biases may be outside the reach of the law, but the law cannot, directly or indirectly, give them effect.”) [Palmore rejected a similar argument that having a child be raised in a mixed-race family would lead to bullying by peers -EV].

Third, Leblanc recommended an unconstitutional restriction of Rachelle’s conduct that prohibited her from discussing religion, homosexuality, and “other alternative lifestyle concepts” with her children. At trial, Rachelle’s counsel asked Leblanc if she thought it would be fair to similarly limit Charles from having those same conversations. Leblanc admitted that it would be fair in light of the tension between the teachings at the children’s church and Rachelle’s sexual orientation. But Leblanc ultimately did not recommend a similar restriction on Charles’ conduct despite this testimony.

Finally, Leblanc’s opinion that Charles is the more stable parent seems to stem from a belief that Rachelle caused the separation:

[Rachelle] did choose to spend a large majority of her time away from the home over the past three years; did choose to terminate the marriage; and is planning on living with [her partner]. All of those decisions were a matter of choice and all of those choices are inconsistent with teachings and principles that she and [Charles] elected to share with their children. [Rachelle’s] choices did disrupt her relationship with the children and given the family’s faith and historical belief system, the choices have also created a great deal of controversy and confusion.

But “custody and visitation privileges are not to be used to penalize or reward parents for their conduct.” [Citing Washington precedents.]

I think this is analysis is right, just as it is with regard to parents who adopt a new religion that differs from their old. Indeed, I would have liked to see the court even more sharply condemn the restrictions on the mother’s speech, which I think independently violate the First Amendment as well (I discuss that more in my Parent-Child Speech and Child Custody Speech Restrictions article).

One thing that I’d quibble with is the focus on the references to Rachelle’s lesbianism as a “choice.” Imagine the same thing happening in a household where the woman was solidly bisexual, in the sense of finding relations with men and with women to be comparably satisfying (as I understand it many women who have sexual and romantic relationships with women are) — I can’t speak to whether Rachelle herself falls into this category, but consider that as a hypothetical.

In that situation, one can reasonably label the decision to move to a relationship with a woman and away from the relationship with a man to be a choice. The ability to be attracted to people of either sex appears not to be choice — but the decision of whom to be with, among those you’re attracted to, is a choice (as much as a straight woman’s decision about which man to marry is a choice, or a person’s decision about which religion to follow is a choice).

Yet it seems to me that this hypothetical bisexual Rachelle should be treated the same way as a purely or predominantly lesbian Rachelle. (I can see the argument that one should sympathize more with someone who finds, even after 20 years of marriage, that she can’t get sexual and romantic satisfaction at all with a man, than with someone who could get such satisfaction but finds that she would now prefer a woman; but I think that this is on balance not much of a distinction.) If we are to have a no-discrimination-based-on-same-sex-sexual-conduct rule (and I think it’s generally a good rule for the government to have, including in custody cases), that should apply regardless of whether the sexual preference or the conduct that it leads to is a “choice” — just as a no-discrimination-based-on-religious-beliefs-and-teachings rule applies even though we generally view religious beliefs as a choice.

Maybe in some states this hypothetical woman could be properly faulted for being the person who left the marriage (if the states do not follow the Washington rule that “custody and visitation privileges are not to be used to penalize … parents for their conduct” in leaving the marriage), regardless of the sex of her new partner. But she shouldn’t be faulted for her new same-sex relationship being a “choice.”

In any event, though, that’s a fairly minor quibble here; the overall result seems quite right. For a 2004 Colorado case (In re E.L.M.C.) in which a court reversed a restriction on the religious parent criticizing homosexuality to the children, see this post.

Originally Found On: http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/volokh-conspiracy/wp/2017/04/10/mother-concludes-shes-lesbian-leaves-conservative-religious-household-should-that-affect-child-custody-decision/