#this surana is SO 'i will be cold and measured and practical' and then beneath it is this seething pain
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origins has a hold on me...
#zevwarden my beloved <3#this surana is SO 'i will be cold and measured and practical' and then beneath it is this seething pain#important to note this is during redcliffe when surana is at PEAK 'alistair is my brother and he is a better person than me' it's just that#people can feel more than one way about other people at the same time#classic first draft disclaimer all of this wording is pretty clunky but like do you see the vision!!!#the whole point of this surana and alistair is like. she has idealized him and doesn't realize it. she's got this shining golden image#of him LONG before she learns about the royal connection - honestly at least in part because he was almost a templar but then WASNT#- and because she shares his view on duncan being a particularly good person (for different reasons)#so she's got this image in her brain right. this is her brother warden who is strong and has more morals than she does etc etc#but simultaneously he was a warden for much longer than her and immediately abdicated all responsibility onto her and she's so mad#anna's fic notes#EVEN AFTER the great landsmeet breakup she still thinks of alistair as a better person than she is but by then the hard outer shell#has become more of a true thing and less of a coping mechanism
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