#this took me out of my block because there's nothing I love more than lxc being emotionally broken :)

[ibijau]

Last one I promise 😅 Saving them from a burning building/running into a burning building to save them. AU where Lan Xichen goes back for Jin GuangYao and saves him from the building. Also the sword had just missed his heart so he lives. Idc if he's locked up after but I want Lan Xichen to know he's alive please I beg of you.

“Die with me, er-ge,” Jin Guangyao asked.

After everything that had happened, everything that had been revealed, Lan Xichen barely hesitated before closing his eyes and accepting that offer to die together. There was nothing waiting for him outside that collapsing building. His brother no longer needed him, not when Wei Wuxian was back, his uncle knew better than him how to deal with scandal, and even Nie Huaisang…

Nie Huaisang had probably never needed him at all, except that night as a weapon.

Death would solve his own problems and that of others’.

Just as he made peace with his own end, Lan Xichen felt a blow against his chest. He stumbled backward a few steps and opened his eyes, only to meet Jin Guangyao’s anguished stare and see his hand still extended toward Lan Xichen, frozen in place after that too weak push.

Lan Xichen blinked.

Around them the world continued to collapse, uncaring for the wounds they had inflicted upon each other.

It was too late, for both of them.

And yet, it’d be too easy to die like this, and after everything, perhaps neither of them deserved for things to end this easily.

In a split second, Lan Xichen reached out toward Jin Guangyao and, after grabbing him, used what little will he had left to rush both of them out of that temple. They feel side by side on the steps of the collapsed building, Lan Xichen exhausted and empty but alive still.

He couldn’t see any worse fate than having to live after this.

When Lan Xichen rose his head, he met the pitying gaze of his brother, and worse still of Wei Wuxian. That Wei Wuxian would feel the right to pity him was a slap in the face, but he took it gracefully. After everything that had been revealed that night, after getting a better understanding of Wei Wuxian’s struggles and his choices, Lan Xichen wasn’t sure he had the right to resent anymore the man who had ruined his brother’s life.

With some effort, Lan Xichen managed to rise to his knees, and then to stand up. He ignored Jin Guangyao’s prostrated shape on the ground, moaning in pain after this violent movement. He likely wouldn’t die, Lan Xichen knew. His cultivation was high enough to handle a severed arm, and the wound inflicted by Lan Xichen, even at such a time, had been aimed not to be fatal. Lan Xichen couldn’t have killed him, though he knew he should have wanted to. Another failure on his part.

Without a word, Lan Xichen challenged his brother to say anything about having saved that man. Lan Wangji, understanding too much, simply looked away. Wei Wuxian was ignoring him to longingly glance toward Jiang Wanyin, who did the same toward him. The Ghost General too found him unworthy of his attention.

Meanwhile, Jin Rulan and Nie Huaisang stared at him with open judgement. Or at least, so Lan Xichen understood their expression. Having both lost so much to the man he had saved, he supposed they could hardly be blamed for their hatred.

“If we let him die here today, what justice will there be?” Lan Xichen stated, as if that had been his intention.

As if he’d been capable of any intention during that instant. As if protecting Jin Guangyao had been more than an instinct at this point.

“We need him to give us a full account of what he did,” he insisted, knowing he was probably only making their opinion of him worse. “We need to know how far he went, what people he used, who helped him, or else this will happen again.”

Jin Rulan frowned upon hearing this, perhaps realising that Jin Guangyao’s crimes would be his to deal with, since his uncle had no other heirs. As for Nie Huaisang, Lan Xichen thought he saw rage flash on his face, but in an instant there was nothing more than fear and innocent concern.

“Er-ge is right of course,” he said with a nod. “Ah, what a mess, what a mess, I don’t even know how… but I’m sure all his accomplices will be duly punished. It’s only right, isn’t it?”

Lan Xichen shivered at his tone, so perfectly sincere. 

He wondered if Nie Huaisang counted him as one of those accomplices to be dealt with.

He didn’t have to ask to guess the answer. If Nie Huaisang was behind this, as he appeared to be, then he had more than shown what capacity for mercy he had.

“Zewu-Jun, do you want Yunmeng Jiang to hold on to Jin Guangyao until a trial can be organised?” Jiang Wanyin offered, his attention back on the current situation. “We will make sure he cannot escape.

Lan Xichen stared at him. Unlike Nie Huaisang’s too polite innocence, Jiang Wanyin made his disdain perfectly visible. He too seemed to have wanted revenge rather than justice. Or else, he too thought that Lan Xichen shared Jin Guangyao’s guilt, for having supported and helped him all these years.

It really would have been easier to leave Jin Guangyao to die in that temple, and perhaps to die with him. Survival instinct was a cruel thing.

Without a word, Lan Xichen knelt down again next to his sworn brother. Whatever the crimes, there was a bond between him and Jin Guangyao, one that couldn’t just be denied now that it had become inconvenient. They had sworn mutual aid, they had sworn brotherhood. If Lan Xichen hadn’t turned his back on Lan Wangji even when he had sided with a man universally hated, when he had broken every rule of their sect and some they hadn’t even thought to have, then he couldn’t renounce Jin Guangyao either.

Family was family.

“Considering the circumstances, I understand that it might seem unwise to allow Jin Guangyao to be taken to the Cloud Recesses until a trial is arranged,” Lan Xichen said, refusing to look at the other sect leaders and instead checking his sworn brother’s wound. “I will not fight against him being taken to whichever place is deemed safest to hold him. However, wherever he goes, I will go as well, to ensure no injustice is committed against him either.”

This time there was no mistaking the open rage on Nie Huaisang’s face, one so intense that it took him more effort to control it. And yet, even like that, Lan Xichen wasn’t sure if the others had noticed it, not when all the attention was on him.

What a pitiful fool they all seemed to think him. Even Jin Guangyao’s gaze could be felt, though Lan Xichen refused to look at him, unsure what expression he would see on that face, knowing it could be trusted no more than Nie Huaisang’s placid smile.

But all of this had started because Lan Xichen had insisted on having the world’s see Jin Guangyao’s true worth in spite of his birth, and so he would see it through to the end, no matter what that end would be.

Jin Guangyao would get a trial, and Lan Xichen as well if there was any justice left in the world.

[trensu]

Episode 50: The One with the Greatest Family Reunion(s) of All Time

so we start the ep with nhs's truly oscar-worthy performance which results in jgy getting stabbed

And i cheer for both the performance AND the stabbing!!!

lxc has his eyes closed bc that's his coping mechanism when times get tough

lol lxc is like I TOLD YOU I WASN'T GONNA HOLD BACK IF YOU DID ONE MORE BAD THING

and jgy is like i know!! that's why i haven't done one more bad thing!!!!

everyone's faces are like sure jan

but then they look at nhs like, wait a minute...

jgy is like why are you looking at him? you're not gonna see anything! i didn't see anything all these years and i'm smarter and sneakier than all of you!!!

okay, he didn't say that last part but it was def implied

jgy: nhs, good for you. i didn't expect that you would be my downfall.

NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQ--uhhh, NIE HUAISANG!!

nhs hasn't broken character either! He needs to join a theater troupe or smth with those skills.

blah blah lxc and jgy are having Feelings blah blah blah lxc is conflicted blah

hm, those Feelings are becoming rather Dramatique

ugh jgy just let it go and die already

jgy: have I ever done you wrong?

UM?? how about KILLING his little brother's soulmate?

which resulted in him having to watch his little brother suffer extreme physical punishment and then grieve for years after??

PRETTY SURE THAT HURT LXC QUITE A LOT

Jgy: now you won't even give me a chance to live?

I THINK THE FUCK NOT!!!

oh we're getting some not so great special effects and jgy drags lxc to the coffin and then bleeds all over it, gross

ooooh, the Temple of Doom is starting to fall apart

lwj makes a move towards lxc but wwx grabs his arm and stops him!

bc it's dangerous to get too close and wwx is protective of his soulmate!!

jc starts the evacuation bc hello the building is crumbling and he gets everyone out except the lan bros, wwx and jgy

Jgy: stay and die with me

FUCK YOU JGY

but lxc was ready and willing to do that, so jgy shoves him back bc why the hell not

(we're gonna ignore how awkward that particular maneuver was, we already know special effects are not a priority in this show)

Jgy's like lets emotionally torment lxc some more, just for kicks, bc I'm an ASSHOLE

lwj catches his brother and he is Concerned.

Eventually our lan bros and wwx flee the temple and jgy has one last meltdown before getting crushed LIKE THE MAGGOT HE IS

Now we cut to a shot of all our crew standing outside

and we see my bratty son slowly fall to his knees with a look of UTTER SORROW AND PAIN ON HIS FACE

Bc he was BETRAYED by his nice uncle

MY POOR SON!!

we get reaction shots from wwx and the lan bros

(wwx continues to be beautiful even when sad)

oh, now lxc and nhs are having a moment sitting on the steps of the temple

lxc asks nhs if jgy really had made a move

nhs is like, you questioning me is making me doubt everything! idk idk!!

even amidst his grief he takes a moment to be completely exasperated by NHS's catchphrase lolol

now we cut to wwx sitting on a different set of stairs, carefully fiddling with his demon flute and he looks up to see jc watching him and HE SMILES

BC THAT'S HIS LITTLE BROTHER!! 

AND THEY'RE ALL STILL MIRACULOUSLY ALIVE AFTER THAT HOT MESS!!

oooh, he's unwrapping his sleeve and we get a flash of his bare forearm 

how scandalous! you're gonna give lwj vapors, wwx

We see the very last cut on his arm fade away bc finally mxy has been avenged

AND WWX SMILES AGAIN!!

cut to jc and jl watching wwx smile

bc i mean, who wouldn't be captivated by wwx's smile?

PEOPLE YOU CAN'T TRUST, THAT'S WHO

none of the sect leaders before were captivated by that smile AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED!!!

oh that smile didn't stick around for long bc we hear barking!!

wwx gets this panicked wide-eyed expression that mAKES ME WANNA HIDE HIM AND PROTECT HIM FROM THE WORLD

But I also don't want to get murdered by LWJ's death glare so I'll just let him hide and protect wwx...

omg my bratty son looks SO HAPPY and shouts "fairy!!" before running towards his doggy friend

i'm not much of a dog person, tbh, but MY BRATTY SON IS SO HAPPY 

and fairy did bring a whole crew of cultivators...

too little too late, some smart spiritual dog he is, lololol

we've got lan disciples, and jiang disciples and all these people swarming around our crew, fussing over them. 

it's kind of sweet except i notice that no one's approached my bratty son 

he is, in fact, ALL ALONE with fairy and i am OFFENDED on his behalf

not that my bratty son seems to mind

he's too wrapped up in his doggy reunion to notice BUT I NOTICED SO I'LL BE OFFENDED ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF US

wwx is smiling as he sees lwj and jc being fussed over by their respective disciples

so cute so CUTE, I love his smiles so much

lwj stands up and greets his uncle with a stately bow 

god he's elegant and regal af, how the hell does he do it

but his uncle's a douchebag and barely acknowledges him before turning to leave and lwj watches him go, kind of hurt, kind of surprised

ooooh, now we get a shot of jc watching wwx as he gets questioned by oyzz

Oyzz is like what happened? Are you hurt? Is everyone okay??

and we can see wwx is still smiling!! BC MY BOY IS MADE OF SUNSHINE OKAY

awwwww

jl looks up  with an ADORABLE smile on his face and tells fairy to wait outside 

HE TAKES FAIRY OUTSIDE BC HE KNOWS WWX IS AFRAID OF DOGS!!!

My bratty son is actually very sweet!!

jc starts to leave the scene (and it's only until now that he stops staring at wwx btw) and wwx watches him go 😔

cut to a shot of lwj blatantly staring at wwx as per usual

wwx looks up and meets his gaze 

they get lost in each other for a bit bc when DON'T they?

We’re at the steps of the temple again and we see nhs pick up jgy's crumpled up hat looking all contemplative

oops, nhs's fingers come away from the hat all tacky with blood, yuck

cut to my bratty son running back into the temple where all the cultivators are inspecting stuff and he asks ljy where wwx is

HE'S ASKING AFTER MY SUNSHINE BOY!

Y'know, his not-evil, not-angry uncle? 

ljy tells him that he and hanguang jun left after they brought them lil apple

lol, the idea of ljy and oyzz dragging lil apple along just to return him to wwx cracks me up

jl tells ljy to take care of fairy for him before he dashes off to find his new uncle

BUT JC STOPS HIM?? "don't chase after them"

look at jc being all Cool leaning against that tree

in his fashionable robes

with his awesome sword tucked in the crook of his elbow

jl throws one last glance at the direction wwx and lwj left, and then joins jc under the tree 

jc is like, they're long gone kid

jl: so that's it? you're letting them leave just like that??

jc: what else? invite them to stay for dinner? say thank you and then i am sorry??

lol, he's working himself up into a snit already

But also, like, MY BRATTY SON HAS A GOOD HEART, OKAY??

he just hides it under bluster bc he's sensitive and people are mean to him all the time!

HE WANTED TO CONNECT WITH WWX (AND MAYBE LWJ??) NOW THAT THIS WAS ALL OVER

AND HE WOULD'VE DONE IT IF NOT FOR JC BEING ALL HUNG UP ON HIS ISSUES STILL

not that i hold that against jc, that's a lot of emotional trauma he's gotta work through

LOL JL IS NOT GONNA LET HIMSELF BE COWED BY HIS UNCLE BC WHEN DOES HE EVER?

JL: it was exactly bc of the way you were acting that they took off! you're such a pain in the neck!!

AND THEN HE POUTS AND FALLS INTO A CROUCH WITH HIS ARMS CROSSED AND STARTS SULKING UP A STORM

I LOVE MY BRATTY SON SO MUCH

JC: IS THAT HOW YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SPEAK TO YOUR ELDERS? ARE YOU ASKING TO GET DISCIPLINED??

these two crack me up every time, i swear

but the whole corporal punishment is...problematic

jc raises his arm to smack jl and jl ducks and raises his own arm to block the blow and i'm sitting here like, yikes

but then we get a shot of jc's open palm, out of focus with a crisp backdrop of red leaves from the tree they're under

and his hand is just held there, stilled for just a moment before the fingers start to gently curl inward and the strike never happens (thank god)

jc: lets go home, jin ling. let everyone go back to the place where they belong

he walks off with jin ling springing to his feet and chasing after him a beat later

jl: was there something you wanted to say to wwx?

have i mentioned i love my bratty son? BECAUSE I DO. A LOT.

jc: no, there isn't.

jl: bullshit!

I LOVE HIM!! WHAT A MOUTHY BRAT 💜

JL: i saw it with my own eyes! you wanted to talk to wwx! but you didn't say a word just now or back in the temple!

jc: there is nothing to say

jl: bullshit! you had something to say!

while this entire exchange is happening we see jc marching ahead, not looking at jl at all, but jl is walking backwards eyes pinned to his face the entire time

bc my son might be a brat but he's also pretty observant and he KNOWS his uncle 

AND NOW WE GET A FLASHBACK

WE GET A BIG REVEAL

we're back at “the ones where we gross sob FOREVER”

and wwx is telling jc to stay put at the inn while he goes to get food and meds

his voice all weak and tremulous

but jc steps out of the inn for a moment after wwx leaves

AND SEES THAT THE WEN FLUNKIES CAUGHT SIGHT OF HIS BROTHER!!

they were like three feet away from grabbing his big brother

and he says internally, "take care. i'm leaving jyl in your hands"

AND I'M CRYING BC THEY'RE PLAYING THAT MUSIC

THAT SWEET TENDER MUSIC THEY PLAY WHENEVER JYL AND HER BROTHERS HAVE A MOMENT

Jc goes and causes a distraction and lets himself be caught by the wens

SO THAT HIS BIG BROTHER AND BIG SISTER COULD STAY SAFE

I'M CRYING I'M CRYING

MY YUNMENG SIBS, MY POOR YUNMENG SIBS!! 

WHY DID THEY HAVE TO SUFFER SO?? 

WHY WERE THEY SO DAMN SELF-SACRIFICING??? 

WHY THE HELL COULDN'T THEY LEARN TO COMMUNICATE BETTER???

cut back to the present, and jc's eyes are welled up with tears 

he has a hurt little smile on his face, he says, "take care"

softly, mostly to himself

after a moment, he turns to jin ling and says "lets go"

and we watch them leave

I just want them all to be a BIG HAPPY FAMILY DAMN IT

cut to the next scene, we hear ~THEIR SONG~ start playing in the background all slow and soft

i love the overhead shot we get of them surrounded by the gorgeous foliage, it's so peaceful

As wwx and lwj walk slowly and at ease with lil apple between them 

AND MY HEART FEELS SO TENDER AND FULL OMG

lwj: wei ying

he says it all seriously. wwx looks at him and he's got A BIG SMILE ON HIS FACE 

bc he's looking at his soulmate!!!

who wouldn't smile when looking at their soulmate???

he's cheerfully twirling his flute bc finally all is right in the world! 

the mystery is solved, his loved ones are safe

and he's traveling with lwj and lil apple

nothing could be better!

wwx: whats up?

lwj is pointedly not looking at him

lwj: there is something that I…

and here he stops in his tracks, and wwx stops with him

lwj: i didn't tell you.

wwx gets all playful and leans on lil apple, and waggles his demon flute and lwj

wwx: what is it?

Look at that mischievous grin!!

he's all prepared to tease the heck out of lwj for whatever he's about to say LOL

but they're interrupted!!

wen ning and lan sizhui are running after them and wwx notices

LOLOL

His face scrunches up and he mutters under his breath like, damn it! every time!! these two are fast! 

wwx: sizhui, why are you following us? aren't you afraid of old master lan calling you out?

MY SUNSHINE BOY IS SMILING SO MUCH THIS EPISODE, I'M SO HAPPY!!!

lsz: i have something important to ask you!

he's all out of breath!

wwx turns to look at lwj eyes wide and curious before going back to lsz

wwx: what is it?

lsz goes on to explain how he's been remembering things but he's unsure of stuff so he wanted to ask them about it

wwx looks confused and glances at lwj 

lwj just looks back at him briefly before his eyes flick down

wwx: what is it that you want to know?

lsz looks down and, like, gathers up the strength needed for this next line of questioning. 

with the sweetest smile, and the softest eyes he starts listing stuff

like how he knew a cocky chef who was actually a terrible cook

(wwx laughs confusedly at this)

and how that man planted him in a field and told him he'd grow faster with some watering and sunlight

AND WE GET A FLASHBACK OF LITTLE A-YUAN PLOPPED IN THE DIRT GETTING BURIED BY WWX

he goes on to say how that man would play with him 

and how he had invited hunguang jun for a meal and then didn't pick up the tab so hanguang jun had to pay

There we get a flashback to their meal at the yiling wine house!

we cut back to the present and WWX'S FACE IS STUNNED, EYES WELLING UP WITH TEARS, AND LSZ IS GETTING CHOKED UP AS HE TELLS HIM THINGS

AND WWX'S BREATHING GETS SHAKY 

BC LSZ TELLS HIM HIS SURNAME IS WEN

wwx blinks rapidly, not believing what he's hearing

wwx: wen was your surname? isn't lan your surname?

wwx: lan sizhui, lan yuan.. A-yuan?

AND OH GOD HIS FACE, HIS FACE

His eyebrows are furrowed

His eyes are full of tears!

he's looking at lsz like this has to be a dream bc it's too good to be true

Lsz nods jerkily

AND I'M TRYING TO HOLD BACK TEARS

HOW THE HELL IS LWJ WATCHING THIS ALL GO DOWN WITHOUT CRYING??

he's watching his son so intently

he's seeing his two most precious people reunite

and there are no tears??

I DON'T UNDERSTAND

HE'S VERY OBVIOUSLY MOVED BY THIS BUT NOT CRYING

MEANWHILE MY FACE IS A FREAKING RIVER OF EMOTION

lsz: i...i am a-yuan

and his voice all cracked with feeling

wwx huffs and is still shaky

wwx: didn't a-yuan pass away already?

he's thought his kid was dead this whole time

MY HEART, MY HEART

lwj had been staring at lsz this whole time but when he hears wwx say that, his gaze drops to the ground 

HE FEELS ASHAMED (AS HE SHOULD BE!!) BC HE DIDN'T TELL WWX SOONER

wwx turns to lwj, hope and tentative joy in his voice

wwx: lan zhan, was it you?

lwj meets his gaze and says yes, his voice steady and firm

lwj: this was the thing i haven't told you about

Yeah, i know, i’ve been YELLING AT YOU ABOUT IT THIS WHOLE TIME

and wwx looks back at lsz, breath choppy and lsz flings himself into wwx's arms!!!

I AM SOBBING

lsz: i really missed you, i really missed you

THEY'RE BOTH CRYING AND CLINGING TO EACH OTHER SO HARD

OH GOD I NEED TISSUES

wwx laughs and sniffles

wwx: silly boy, why are you crying?

AS IF YOUR FACE ISN'T STREAMING WITH TEARS, WWX

lsz pulls back and scrubs his face in his sleeve

lsx: i wasn't crying. i was just feeling really sad and yet thrilled at the same time

YOU TWO STOP DENYING YOUR TEARS

IF I HAVE TO SIT IN A PUDDLE OF MY TEARS THEN YOU HAVE TO OWN UP TO YOUR OWN TEARS, YOU HEAR ME??

lsz: i couldn't put it into words

lwj: then don't

pffft, ofc lwj would be the one advocating for LESS WORDS lololol

wwx laughs at that

wwx: that's right. no need to say anything

then he starts his theatrics, bc he wouldn't be wwx without his theatrics

he leans on lil apple and rubs his own shoulder

wwx: damn, you little ones are strong, you are indeed a student of hanguang jun

he looks at lwj and points his demon flute at him

HE'S SO HAPPY

lwj: he is a student of yours as well

omg lwj delivers this line so sincerely

like, there was barely a pause between what wwx and what lwj responded with

he's so freaking earnest

LOL wwx straightens up at that and reaches for lsz

wwx: no wonder he is such a handsome boy!

Wwx, you are SHAMELESS

He giggles as he pats lsz’s face, it’s freaking adorable

lsz: master wei didn't teach me anything!

wow lsz, you've had your other dad back for all of five minutes and you're already sassing him?

he truly is wwx's son lol

wwx: i did! it was bc you were so little and you forgot

You’re sounding a bit defensive there, wwx...

lsz: yes, i seem to recall. i remember now

wwx immediately starts preening

wwx: you see. i've mentored him!

lsz: for example, switching the portrait of a beauty into--

wwx slams his hand over lsz's mouth, HIS FACE IS A PICTURE OF PANIC

LOLOLOL

lwj's eyes have widened slightly and developed an edge of Judgement 

wn peeks at lwj out of the corner of his eyes like he's trying to gauge his reaction or smth lolol

wwx laughs awkwardly and takes his hand off lsz's mouth to shake a finger at him, wearing a tight smile on his face

lsz: and when a pretty lady passes by--

wwx: NONSENSE!!!

LOL I'M  D Y I N G

wwx shouts this at the TOP OF HIS LUNGS to drown out lsz

he whirls on him pointing an accusatory finger and marches towards him as lsz scrambles back

wwx: nonsense! how come you're remembering these kinds of things? how could i teach little kids these things?

LOL HE'S TALKING SO FAST

lsz: you did! wen ning can testify!

wow, way to throw your uncle under the bus, lsz

kids these days have no filial piety!

wwx: there's nothing for wen ning to testify!

OMG WN AND LWJ IN THE BACKGROUND 🤣🤣🤣

as soon as lsz draws attention to him, wn looks at lsz like WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?

and lwj side-eyes wen ning SO HARD, like what the hell did you let wwx teach my son?

wwx: stop talking nonsense! i am telling you, little boy. lan zhan, what did you teach him?

AND WE GET THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SHOT OF LWJ HERE

as soon as wwx turns to him with his wild accusations, lwj gets this delightfully crooked smile on his face 

and he looks down as if there's TOO MUCH JOY IN HIS HEART that he can't bear to watch for long

GOD THIS IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL EXPRESSION ON HIS FACE. 

and this marks, what, THE THIRD? the third time lwj smiles in public, all OUT IN THE OPEN?

I'M DYING, I'M DYING

wwx: when a-yuan was little and with me, he was a good boy!

lsz: it's the truth!

wwx: nonsense!

wwx: do you see that pit? no matter how big you've become, i will still plant you into that pit. understand?

lsz has a big grin on his face

wwx: what are you laughing at? you dumb boy!

AND THEN LSZ DROPS TO THE GROUND AND HUGS WWX'S LEG LIKE HE USED TO WHEN HE WAS A TODDLER

AND EVERYTHING IS WONDERFUL IN THE WORLD

wwx laughs to himself and lwj still has a small smile playing across his lips as he watches his son

wwx: a-yuan, you are too old for this

AS IF HE'S NOT LOVING EVERY SECOND OF IT

wwx: do you remember, you used to grab hanguang jun's leg when you were little, just like this?

so many wonderful flashbacks of little a-yuan clinging to his parents’ legs!!

oh god, oh god, my heart, my heart is going to explode from all the tender feelings!! Look at their faces

wwx's mouth slowly curls into a smile before it grows INTO A FLASH OF HIS SQUINTY-EYED SMILE

you know the one!

the one that stretches SO BIG WITH HAPPINESS IT LIGHTS UP THE WHOLE WORLD?? YEAH, THAT ONE

and then we cut to lwj's face

he has the softest expression on his face

he's got this gentle, tiny smile, the slightest of curves at the corners of his mouth

and in his eyes are SO FULL OF LOVE AND WARMTH as he watches his soulmate smile at him with their son clinging to his soulmate's leg

AND I MUST'VE DIED AND GONE TO THE GOOD PLACE BC THIS IS JUST TOO BEAUTIFUL TO BE REAL

now we cut to a different scene, lwj and lsz are in the background have some sort of father-son chat, while wwx and wn chill in the foreground

here we find out that wn and lsz plan to go back to qishan to build some sort of memorial to their loved ones

wwx: i'll come with you

wn: that won't be necessary

wwx: you don't want me to tag along?

aw, my sunshine boy looks kinda hurt 😔

but wn assures him that that's not the case. it's just that wwx has already done more than enough for them and it's time for wen ning to go out on his own

wwx gets all teary-eyed again and pats him on the shoulder, and agrees that that's for the best

lsz and wn split off, and wwx waves his demon flute cheerfully at them, lwj at his side

wwx turns to lwj with a smile

wwx: lan zhan, lets go! 

he says happily, with confidence, then he taps chenqing on his head a couple of times

wwx: where should we go?

he grins, pulling lil apple along with him, so cheerfully!

wwx: let's get going, lil apple!

but lwj isn't turning with him

he's still in that spot, his back towards wwx who already was forging onto his next adventure

AND MY HEART IS BREAKING

BC WHY HASN'T HE TURNED TO FOLLOW WWX???

wwx slows to a stop as he notices the absence of white robes at his side AND ~THEIR SONG~ STARTS PLAYING AGAIN

he turns back slowly to look back at lwj, confused

there is too much distance between them!!

TOO MUCH!

multiple yards of distance where there should be NONE!

THERE SHOULD BE NONE DISTANCE!!!!!!

WHY ISN'T THERE NONE DISTANCE??!?!

lwj is still facing away from wwx, he's still rooted to the spot and his face has gone blank

wwx: lan zhan, you...aren't you coming with me?

HE SOUNDS SO CONFUSED, SO TIMID

HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT'S HAPPENING

and there's a too long pause during which wwx's eyes are desperately pinned to lwj's back

finally, FINALLY, lwj turns ever so slowly to face wwx

wwx is staring at him and lwj can only meet his eyes briefly before they slowly turn downwards

wwx gets this tiny hurt smile on his face and nods as his eyes well with tears again but this time THEY ARE NOT HAPPY TEARS

these are "i knew this was too good to be true" tears

these are "of course i can't keep good, pure lan zhan at my side" tears

these are "this is exactly what i deserve" tears

lwj looks up again, and wwx gives him a nod and a smile bc he doesn't want lwj to feel guilty for leaving him

LEAVING HIM

HE'S LEAVING HIM AGAIN 

WHY 

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING

the camera pulls out, really emphasizing the distance and the sudden quiet that falls between them is severely lacking any words of explanation

AND I'M SCREAMING INTERNALLY BC WTF WHY

we cut to a truly impressive shot of the cloud recesses, followed by a cut to a waterfall 

I’m pretty sure it's the same waterfall from when they were kids and had that sword fight

and we hear the opening notes of ~Their Song~ played on the flute 

wwx walks into view on the shore of the pond the waterfall goes into, with his flute at his lips

in the background we see that lwj is at the opposite shore closer to the waterfall, sitting cross-legged with his guqin in his lap

AND THEN THEY GIVE US VOCALS

bc watching them play ~THEIR SONG~ TOGETHER BUT AT A DISTANCE WASN'T PAINFUL ENOUGH

and jfc the shots of the waterfalls in this area are freaking gorgeous

now we see them standing together on the same boulder over a smaller waterfall 

bc our boys have an aesthetic 

that aesthetic is moonlight and waterfalls, and they're sticking to it

wwx: lan zhan, tbh, it surprised me that you would take over the role of his excellency

lwj: we made a vow here

and we get a flashback to the lantern scene and hear those vows they made as kids

Back in the present, wwx smiles, and knocks back the jar of wine that he has with him bc the mystery has been solved BUT HIS ALCOHOLISM HASN'T!

and i'm sitting here SCREAMING INTERNALLY, FUCK THOSE VOWS. 

YOU'VE GOT NEW, BETTER VOWS, WHICH ARE NEVER EVER LEAVE EACH OTHER'S SIDES EVER AGAIN, DAMN IT

wwx turns to face lwj

wwx: lan zhan, you truly deserve your title, hanguang jun

and lwj turns to look back at him

lwj: and you too, wei ying

we are BLESSED with wwx's wide, squinty-eyed smile

and lwj graces us with his soft, small, secret smile

they stare at each other for a moment before turning back to gaze off into the distance

the camera pulls back to gift us with the gorgeous scenery that surrounds them

now we cut to them walking down the steps towards that big rock full of ridiculous gusulan rules

nhs is there! with his fan!

nhs: this is unexpected. cloud recesses has added another thousand rules.

wwx: nhs, no matter how many rules are added, there is one that matters most. do you know what it is?

nhs looks so at ease here

this entire time since we got back to the present to watch wwx solve this mystery, nhs was nervous, twitchy and flaky in every scene

but here, he stands straight and serene with a confidence we have not yet seen on him til now

nhs: i have no clue

he says this and it doesn't sound anything like his usual anxious, dopey, "idk idk i really don't know"

nhs: please advise, wwx.

and wwx strides up until he's right next to nhs, shoulder to shoulder, tho they're facing opposite directions

wwx: that would be...

he leans down, and lowers his voice

wwx: "thou shall not befriend the devil"

there has been a distinct lack of background noise or music since this scene started

but the minute those words leave wwx's mouth, we get ominous music. 

nhs keeps his harmless act as he meets wwx's eyes and they share a laugh 

(a laugh of acknowledgement, of recognition of each other's skills)

nhs: wwx, you have the nerve 

wwx: no i wouldn't dare. i'm no match for you.

the words they're exchanging SOUND carefree and easy on the surface, but they definitely carry some underlying tension

nhs notices lwj watching them and bows respectfully

nhs: your excellency

he turns to leave, fan open against his chest

wwx: clan leader nie, i have one question that i would love to get your opinion on.

nhs: go on

wwx: you have put in so much effort and energy, don't you want to be the Excellency?

wwx is gauging nhs's threat level to lwj

bc with the skills nhs has developed and the cover he has, it really wouldn't be all that difficult for him to depose lwj if he wanted, you know?

but nhs has never been the ambitious sort

he was perfectly content with his art, and his fans, and his porn, and being second young master, nothing more (UNTIL FUCKING JGY RUINED IT ALL)

nhs: wwx, it was once said that we can never get tired of these scenes; earth and sky, woods and fields, lakes and rivers, the mountain and the sea

nhs: as for me, i am a sensible man. if i have to, i always do it myself.

nhs: but for the things that aren't my business, i won't meddle in

and i'm not sure if there's something i'm missing, some layer of context or whatever, 

but what i get from this is that nhs is saying everything has its place and he has no desire to go outside of his own place in the world

if the situation calls for it, he will intervene but ONLY if there's no one else willing or able to step in

really, this is just his poetic way of saying, i have no interest in hurting hanguang jun or stealing his power

lwj walks up to join wwx as the two of them watch nhs leave

lwj: aren't you going to ask him?

wwx: ask him what?

wwx: who let mxy out? who released the blade spirit? who found sisi and bicao? and who wrote that anonymous letter?

and he gets this unconcerned expression on his face

with a little pout he just goes on to say that these questions don't matter anymore

and he walks off, twirling his flute

we cut to the next scene and our boys are standing face to face on a grassy hilltop. wwx points behind lwj

Brief aside to say, i love the robes lwj wears here, they’re very very pretty. White and pale blue, they look very airy and light

wwx: i will head that way

and lwj points with bichen behind wwx

lwj: i will head this way

AND THEN THEY JUST STARE AT EACH OTHER FOR A BIT

BC THEY DON'T REALLY WANNA SAY GOODBYE, DO THEY?

lwj: have you decided where you are going to go?

wwx shakes his head and tilts his chin up

wwx: it's a big world that we live in. i will wander with my fine wine and a ride, and make it my home

*cries softly* but you have a home, LWJ is your home, why are you leaving

lwj lowers his gaze

probs bc he is thinking the same thing i was

let lwj be your home, wwx

wwx: lan zhan, i will get going

and lwj gives him one single, barely there nod of the head

bc he doesn't want wwx to go!!!

but he doesn't want to hold him back either...

wwx walks past him with a smile, dragging lil apple along with him and cheerfully he says:

"as long as the sea is bound to wash up on the sand and stars are above you, we will meet again."

and lwj just watches him leave before steeling himself to turn and walk off to his wwx-less future 

but as he walks, he hears wwx playing their song on his flute so he pauses to turn back slightly

and we hear wwx’s voice over, "lan zhan, next time we see each other, you better have a name for this song."

as lwj continues walking, we hear his voice over, "way ahead of you."

and he seems slightly less sad at their parting.

AND NOW WE'RE GETTING THE FUCKING VOCALS AGAIN BC THE SHOW JUST LOVES TEARING OUR HEARTS OUT OF OUR CHEST

we get a gorgeous shot of a green cliff side and of course the cliffside has a couple of pretty waterfalls

wwx standing alone, playing on his flute, and the camera is lovingly caressing all of wwx's best features

we get a beautiful close up of wwx's lips resting over the mouthpiece of his flute, aND I THANK EVERY DEITY IN EXISTENCE FOR IT

and it's not immediately apparent bc wwx always wears dark form fitting robes

but the robes he's wearing in this scene are DEFINITELY DIFFERENT from the ones he was wearing when he and lwj parted ways

MEANING SOME TIME HAS PASSED

we have no way of knowing how much time

COULD BE AN HOUR! COULD BE A DAY! COULD BE A COUPLE OF YEARS!!

WE JUST DON'T KNOW

but time has passed

wwx is playing ~Their Song~ alone on that hill, the vocals are like honey to the ears and they crescendo to give us an overwhelming swell of emotion

the music peeters off until it's just wwx's flute reaching the last notes of ~Their Song~

as he is finishing we hear lwj's voice

"Wei Ying."

wwx freezes, like he's wondering if he imagined that voice

the music is completely gone, everything is utterly silent and wwx's face is completely open as he lowers his flute

a smile starts to curl at his mouth, small and tentative and as he turns around, ~Their Song~ crescendos into existence again

and wwx's smile grows incredulous and relieved and SO FULL OF LOVE AND JOY

I DIE, I DIE!

MY BEAUTIFUL SUNSHINE BOY

and we fade to black

bc that's where it ends

That's it

THAT'S ALL THERE IS, WE MADE IT TO THE END!

IT'S OVER, THERE'S NO MORE. MY LIFE NO LONGER HAS MEANING. OMG I JUST BURST INTO TEARS. WHY IS THIS AFFECTING ME SO MUCH

I KNEW THIS WAS COMING. I'VE SEEN THIS THREE OTHER TIMES ALREADY!! OH GOD OH GOD, I MISS WWX'S FACE ALREADY. GIVE ME BACK MY SUNSHINE BOY, LET ME KEEP HIM FOREVER *SOBS*

Hang on, hang on, just give me a minute. *deep breath* Okay, i’m good, i’m good now. 

This show is just...it’s so beautiful in every way except CGI lol and it evokes so many visceral feelings. It’s passionate, is what it is. And not in the sexual way “passionate” has been forced to become. This show is passionate the way passion is supposed to mean: piercing anguish, burning anger, utter devotion...just overwhelming feeling

But most importantly, the passion in this show is intense love:

Platonic love; see how much our main cast gave up to aid their friends and dependents

Familial love; look at the lengths those brothers and sisters went for each other

Romantic love; watch how these two soulmates returned to each other again and again regardless of all the obstacles between them

I honestly can’t think of another show that’s done this so well. I am just so grateful to have been able to watch this show, to have gotten to know these characters even tho it’s raised my standards for future shows to ridiculously high levels

So that’s it! We’ve reached the end of the guide! Now we can go back and re-visit our favorite scenes whenever we want!

Return to Masterpost

[mingjue]

Candy? For the one word prompts?

OK SO…………technically this is for the immortal lxc & reincarnated nmj au, but it’s focused around the time lxc is starting to consider coming out of seclusion. which means baby time w Lan Yue/Lan Yingtai who is OC. i swear it’s cute, it’s their first time meeting pleading emoji

word count: 2,810 (SO PLEASE READ……..)it’s all unedited and i did this in one sitting heehee

————

Lan Yue knows she isn’t supposed to travel this far away from the Cloud Recesses. She knows that once she got to the thin river with little minnows, she was further than she was allowed to go. But at this moment, curiosity made this little girl ignore everything she’s been told.

She’s found a gravel road, and at the end of that road was a small, empty looking house.

The road obviously wasn’t used much. Where the tire tracks didn’t burn into the ground, patches of grass grew through the rocks. The undergrowth surrounding the road went up to her waist– and she was tall for her age!– while the trees hung down low in a thick canopy. When it opened though, there sat the house.

Lan Yue stood at the other side of the road, tiny dagger clutched in hand with a determined expression on her face. She wanted into the house. Should she go in? Probably not, but she’s never heard about this house. So she wanted in.

She knew every part of the Cloud Recesses like the back of her hand. She couldn’t remember everyone’s name, but she could definitely place faces. A lot of the houses built around the Cloud Recesses were very similar too, so it wasn’t hard to remember their layout. This was going to be her clan to rule over when she’s older, and she wanted to know about every little thing that sat in these mountains– even if her baba didn’t want her to.

Confidently, Lan Yue marched up to the house. But, instead of knocking at the door, she decided to peek in through the window. 

Up on her tippy-toes she got a good view of a small kitchen. It looked terribly bare, and not a single light was on, not even in the equally bare living room. All of the windows seemed to have their curtains drawn back. Lan Yue squinted, seeing light coming in from a doorway through the living room. The back. 

Maybe she should check the back first. The person living here might just be gone for the day, and what if they had a dog? That’s why the back door is seemingly open, or at least with the curtains pulled away. If the door was open and she came in, she didn’t want a dog rushing in to attack her.

Lan Yue quietly pulled away from the window and started sneaking towards the back of the house. Already she could see short, white picket fencing. A small dog? Those things could still be annoying, wouldn’t want to test it. Or a really domesticated dog. A short huff from her nose.

As she reached the edge of the house and to where the picket fence began, she started placing her steps lighter, holding her breath in, just in case. Lan Yue crouched slightly, as to hide behind the fence, and looked around the corner of the house to get a quick look.

What she sees isn’t what she expected.

A man was sitting on the porch at a simple table, seemingly focused on something in the treeline that surrounded the small backyard. His skin was almost deathly pale with bags under his eyes weighing against it, and grey streaked through predominantly ink black hair at his temples. He didn’t look old, but at the same time he did.

Lan Yue bit back a yelp as she hid back behind the house. Normally, she was fine with just making her presence known. But she’s never seen this guy. Not even once! And she’s never been told about some hermit living in the middle of the forest. Usually she has a good idea of who to expect when wandering around, since only disciples and their families live up here. She toyed with the cover of her dagger while considering what to do.

She could do as she always does and just straight up say hi to him. Or she could climb into a tree and spy on him. The latter sounded more fun, and she’d still be able to do the prior if he saw her. 

She stuffed the dagger into the big pocket on her overalls, and skirted around to the treeline. She made sure to watch the man as she crouched into the undergrowth. He didn’t move a single muscle. What was he staring at? It was kinda getting creepy.

Lan Yue tried to ignore that aspect of it the best she could. Instead, she paid half her attention to finding a good tree to climb up. It ended up being a tree around the area the man was staring at. Before she began climbing, she looked around to see if it was anything she needed to be worried about– but there was nothing but trees. So, she grabbed onto the lowest branch and hauled herself up without disturbing the leaves around her.

By the time she got to a good spot that would support her well, the leaves around her blocked a lot of her vision.

As carefully as she could, she scooted over on the branch. She got as far as she was comfortable reaching before she decided to start moving the leaves.

That’s what failed Lan Yue.

When she pushed away a smaller branch silently, a loose branch that had been resting on it fell outrageously loud to the ground. She gasped, holding onto the branch to keep her balance, but what jarred her was the mans gaze immediately locking onto hers, and a bright shine of silver flashing towards her.

“Shuoyue!” The man shouted, just as Lan Yue screeched in shock and fell back.

With little time to react, Lan Yue promptly fell out of the tree. Miraculously, she didn’t hit her head on anything too hard, but her tail bone and heels of her palms definitely took a lot of damage. She landed onto the ground to be immediately sent into a daze. A second afterwards, a sword dropped onto the grass next to her. 

She didn’t pay much mind to it though, as tears welled up in her eyes.

“Oh god,” The mans voice was suddenly a lot closer, “Oh, I’m so sorry–” 

Lan Yue looked up, while bringing her hands to her chest, to see the man climbing over the fence hurriedly.

“Are you alright? What’s your name?” He asked, crouching to pick up the sword. Lan Yue couldn’t figure out how to respond. So she burst into tears, “Oh no–” A thunk– from what she could tell through blurry vision, he threw the sword over the fence, “–Hey, hey, I won’t hurt you, you’re okay.”

Before he could get too close, Lan Yue briefly came to her senses to pull the dagger from her chest-pocket. She pointed it at him with both hands on the handle, sniffling and crying as she pulled her legs to her chest.

“Who are you?!” She wailed, “Why do you have a sword?!”

The man stammered, “I-I–” He couldn’t seem to place any words for a second, “I’m– um, Lan Huan, courtesy name Xichen,” Lan Yue hiccuped, but she was beginning to calm down, “Let’s put the blade down–”

“No!” Lan Yue retorted, “Why do you have a sword?!” 

The man sighed as he rocked his knees down to rest on the ground, now sitting a yard or so away from her. She furiously blinked away tears so she could see him clearly. He didn’t seem so dead looking now, with how much worry was on his face.

“I’m an immortal,” He finally answered, hesitantly, “I was a sect leader a long, long time ago. That’s why I have a sword.”

“Why don’t I know about you?”

“You may only know me as Zewu-Jun, at your age.”

That rang a bell, making Lan Yue furrow her brows while slowly lowering that dagger, “… You swore brotherhood to um … someone.”

“Chifeng-Zun and Lianfang-Zun.”

“Yeah, them,” Lan Yue paused, squinting up at him, “Why do you look so old if you’re immortal?”

Lan Xichen blinked, letting out a noise of shock, “I look old?” He self-consciously felt at his face, “Oh, you mean my hair?” She nodded, “It just … does that, because of how long I’ve been alive.”

“How long have you been alive?”

“A while,” Lan Xichen hummed, hands now folded in his lap, “It’s hard to keep track.”

Lan Yue held the dagger at her chest for a moment, with Lan Xichen looking at it nervously, before finally putting it back in its sheath. The old man let out a quiet sigh at that.

“Immortal-gege,” She said, “Do you have band-aids?”

“Of course!”

He made a confused face at the sudden nickname just a second later, once it hit him.

-

Lan Yue kicked her feet back and forth as she sat on the kitchen counter. Lan Xichen had helped her wash her scraped hands, and was now searching for band-aids in the bathroom down the hall. 

This house was boring. It looked cool from the outside with the old styling, but the inside was plain and boring. The most technologically advanced item in this house so far was the touch pad fridge. 

“Immortal-gege,” She said as he walked back into the kitchen, holding some bandages, “Why don’t you have a TV?”

“I’d never use it.”

“Why not?”

“I enjoy reading more than watching television.”

“You sound like my grandma.”

“I’m sure she’s a lovely woman, I take no offense to that,” He said lightly, setting the bandages save for one onto the counter next to her, “Let me see your hand.”

Lan Yue offered him her hand with her reddened palm up, watching as he gently placed the large band-aid and pressed it down.

“You still haven’t told me your name,” Lan Xichen said.

“Oh,” Lan Yue blinked, “Lan Yue, courtesy Yingtai.”

“Lan Yingtai,” He echoed, before raising his brows, “You’re the sect heir.” He took another band-aid and motioned for her other hand.

“Mhm! That’s why I came here.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I need to know everyone in my sect before I become sect leader.”

A soft smile appeared on Lan Xichen’s face, “Really?” He said, “Why’s that?”

“So they trust me!” She answered swiftly, a lift of her chin to follow, “If your people don’t trust you, then you’re not a good leader.” The smile on his face grew wider as a chuckle left him.

“That’s right,” He paused, “Are you still hurting anywhere, A-Yue?”

“My butt hurts.”

“Your baba should have some medicine you’re used to to help with that,” As he spoke he took the trash from the band-aids and tossed them into the trashcan sitting next to the fridge, “I’ll text him real quick.”

She kicked her legs a few times and wiggled her thumbs to mess with the band-aids as Lan Xichen pulled out a rather tiny phone from his pocket. She cringed for a second as her wounds stung, but she was quickly distracted by the sight of his phone. It was a little but sleek flip-phone with dark blue casing, and the screen on it still looked quite nice from what she could see. But why was he using a flip-phone?

“Immortal-gege?”

“Yes, A-Yue?”

“Why do you have an old phone?” She asked, “Is it because you’re old?”

Lan Xichen struggled to hold back the laugh that left him, before shaking his head, “I just don’t like more modern phones.”

“Oh,” She smoothed her hands out on her legs, looking down at them. Her leggings were dirty from the fall, along with the back of her overalls, “My baba has a really big smartphone and he lets me play games on it.”

“Mn,” Lan Xichen hummed, eyes now focused on his own phone again, “It’s all too fancy for me.”

“It’s easy to learn how to use it.”

“It is,” He tapped away at the phone, “I just don’t prefer it, at least at the moment.”

There was a short pause, save for when Lan Xichen flipped his phone shut and tucked it back into his pocket. He glanced over her with a small frown.

“It may take him a bit before he can get here, do you want something to eat?” He asked, “I wish I could get you some clean clothes, but you’re a little small.”

“I’m not small!” She quickly said, hands going to each side of herself and feet slamming back into the cabinets beneath her, “But I’m hungry,” Lan Xichen looked at her with raised brows, “Do you have any candy?”

“Candy?” He said quietly, “Oh, no, I have fruit though.”

“… Do you have any starfruit?” 

“I do!” He seemed to lighten up at that, heading over to the fridge.

“Immortal-gege, why don’t you have candy?”

“I’ve never been too fond of it.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know,” He pulled out a small container, “I’ve never had any recent candy though, maybe I should try some.”

“You should!” Lan Yue perked up at that, kicking her feet again, “Next time I come, I’ll bring you some candy. We can share some because I’m not gonna let you eat all of it.” Lan Xichen smiled again.

“Sure,” A short pause, as he got a plate and knife, “But, I don’t know if your baba would want you wandering all the way up here by yourself.” He opened the container to reveal a few starfruit, taking out one to start slicing it. There was a small buzz, “That must be him.”

The small buzz turned into ringing. Lan Xichen hummed, setting down the knife.

Lan Yue watched as he pulled out his phone and answered the call smoothly, shaking his head to get hair out of his face.

“Hello?”

There was some chatter on the other line.

“She’s a bit battered, but she’s okay, yes.”

Lan Yue leaned over and plucked a slice of starfruit from the plate, shoving it in her mouth.

“No– she was climbing in one of the trees outside my yard and fell out of it.”

“Because you threw a sword at me!”

Alarmed chatter through the phone as Xichen let out a shocked noise.

“She– she startled me, yes, but I stopped the sword before it got close to her,” He explained, “Her only injuries are from falling out of the tree, I don’t think she’s even sprained anything.”

Lan Yue huffed and took the second slice.

“Alright,” He paused, “Alright, I’ll see you in a few minutes. Bye-bye,” He ended the call by shutting his phone, “You like getting people in trouble, don’t you?” His tone was light as he asked that, and he returned to cutting more slices of the starfruit.

“Huh-uh,” She shook her head, “You can’t get in trouble anyways, you’re immortal.”

“Oh, I can, believe me,” Lan Xichen laughed softly, “I almost got in trouble for the garden in my back yard by your great-great grandfather.”

“Yeah, ‘almost’,” Lan Yue took another slice, “I’m the one that gets in trouble all the time, and for no reason!” She threw up her free hand at that to emphasize her distress over it, “One of the old ladies my baba has to listen to threatened to spank me because I was climbing trees when she didn’t want me to. My baba doesn’t care if I climb trees!”

Lan Xichen hummed with a nod, “You do have to listen to the clan elders, A-Yue.”

“Whatever, grandma.”

-

“I must apologize, Zewu-Jun,” Her baba said as soon as he hopped off his sword, “Lan Yue normally doesn’t come out this far,” As he spoke he looked directly at her with an incline of his head, “And she won’t be doing it again.”

Yes I will. She thought, but decided against saying it out loud.

“It’s fine, really,” Lan Xichen said, “It was nice to have company for a little bit, I wouldn’t mind her visiting again.”

“But your seclusion …”

“It’s not really seclusion at this point,” Lan Xichen stood perfectly poised as he spoke, all with a smile, “It’s fine, Sect Leader Lan.”

Lan Yue skipped over to her baba, grabbing his hand before swinging their arms back and forth.

“I’m gonna bring Immortal-gege candy next time I come here,” Lan Yue announced, “He said he’s never had new candy before, baba!” She looked up at him, before glancing between the two adults.

“Lan Yue!” Her baba almost flinched when she called Xichen ‘Immortal-gege’, stilling their arms, “It’s ‘Zewu-Jun’, no ‘gege’–”

“I don’t mind that either, Sect Leader,” Lan Xichen cut in. Her baba looked a little horrified, but relaxed shortly after.

“O-Of course.” 

Lan Yue smiled up at Lan Xichen, returning to swinging her babas arm back and forth. But it quickly fell off her face, seeming to startle Lan Xichen, as she suddenly remembered the pain in her tail bone and hands.

“Baba, my butt hurts!”

“Lan Yue.”

[ibijau]

Nobody really asked for it, but time for more de-aged LXC trying to figure out what the fuck happened to him!

This and previous instalments are also on AO3

Lan Xichen opens the door, expecting his uncle, or better yet his brother. Instead he finds himself face to face with a stranger dressed in black and red, smiling in a conspiratorial manner that promises nothing good.

“Zewu-Jun, won't you invite me in?”

The man doesn't look surprised by his youth, meaning he knew to expect it. Only four people know, though: Lan Qiren who discovered him, Nie Huaisang who found out, Lan Wangji who was told, and presumably Lan Wangji's husband. Lan Xichen doesn't think his uncle or brother would tell anyone. He trusts Nie Huaisang to have kept the secret as well. The weak link, then, is this Wei Wuxian who Lan Qiren dislikes so much and thus forbade Lan Xichen from seeing. Could Wei Wuxian have told someone? Lan Xichen understands that his brother-in-law dabbles in unconventional means of cultivation, perhaps he felt one his colleagues might know how to handle his current state? But then why not...

“Ah, right, you wouldn't recognise me!” the stranger laughs. “We make quite a pair here, Zewu-Jun. I'm Wei Wuxian.”

“You're not!” Lan Xichen protests, shocked by the nerve of that man. “I've met Wei Wuxian. Even accounting for the passing of time, you look nothing like him.”

The man only laughs harder. Something about it startles Lan Xichen. The face and body are wrong, even the voice is, but the mannerism, the manner of laughing are...

“Right, right, funny story there, it's me but the body isn't mine,” the man explains with a too cheerful grin. “So Lan Zhan really didn't tell you, eh? Even after so long, if his uncle says something, he's still likely to listen. Anyway, why don't you let me in before someone sees that I'm here? I thought we could have a little chat, you and me. I bet you've got questions and fancy that, I think I have answers.”

Lan Xichen hesitates to call Shuoyue to him to chase away this intruder. It's what he should do, what his uncle would want him to do.

But it's been three months now, and Lan Xichen is starting to fear that he will never return to being the man he had grown into. A pity, a shame, a blessing, he doesn't know. But that's how things are, and if this man really has answers...

Lan Xichen steps aside, silently inviting the man to come in. The stranger saunters inside, letting Lan Xichen close the door behind him. He really does move like Wei Wuxian, it's uncanny.

“So, let's do this,” the man says, sitting at the table and taking out a jar of wine from his sleeve.

Lan Xichen half wants to laugh. This really must be Wei Wuxian, then. He's never met anyone else shameless enough to drink so openly inside the Cloud Recesses. He sits down opposite his... his brother-in-law, apparently.

“You're a clever man,” Wei Wuxian says, opening his jar. “And as I remember, you were pretty sharp as a boy too. They've been careful around you, but I'm sure you must have guessed a few things already. Do you want to tell me what you think you know?”

Lan Xichen nods.

“I know there was a war. I think it was against the Wens, but that's just an educated guess. We've been fearing open conflict with them since before my birth. My father died shortly before that war, or during it, and I became sect leader in his place. I think I was still young.”

“You weren't quite twenty yet,” Wei Wuxian confirms.

Lan Xichen startles. That's too close, that's too soon. He's just eighteen now, how could he become a war leader in less than a year?

“After the war, I don't really know what happened,” Lan Xichen confesses, still shaken by how young he rose to power (will rise to power). “But my brother doesn't trust me anymore, and I'm not sure I'm friend with Nie Mingjue and Nie Huaisang either.”

Brother would not have approved, Lan Wangji said about the marriage that appears to make him happier than anything in the world.

You can find better friends than me, Nie Huaisang had muttered, refusing to look at him.

“Wangji and Nie Huaisang say I don't grow into a bad man,” Lan Xichen whispers. “But I wonder if they're both lying to spare me.”

Wei Wuxian shrugs, and takes a sip of wine.

“What's good, what's bad?” he asks. “From what I can tell, you did what you thought was right. You've trusted all the wrong people and you've been blind to things that should have alerted you, but you weren't the only one to be fooled so I don't suppose you can be blamed. Still, even if you're not bad yourself, there are some who'll say in allowing evil to reign, you're tainted by it.”

Lan Xichen has to close his eyes and take a deep breath. It's not what he wanted to hear, but it feels more sincere than Lan Wangji and Nie Huaisang's attempts to comfort him. Lan Xichen thinks he likes Wei Wuxian.

“What evil did I protect, then?” he asks. “Will you tell me this much?”

“It's a long story,” Wei Wuxian sighs, glancing at the window. It's still early afternoon. “You won't like most of it, Zewu-Jun. But I've learned the hard way that secrets can tear apart a family and you know what? I'm tired of seeing Lan Zhan hurting over something he can't control. If he can't tell you, I will.”

And so, he does.

It is a painful, convoluted story of war, friendship, betrayal and power. Wei Wuxian is mercilessly honest about it all. He admits to his own fault, just as he denounces those of others. Lan Xichen is made uncomfortable when he hears some of the decision he's made (will make), though the worst part is that he understands why he chose (will choose) this. If Jin Guangshan said those prisoners were treated humanly, how could he not believe his elder? If Wei Wuxian killed people in so ruthless a manner, in such great numbers, how could he not join the effort to take him down before he striked again? If Lan Wangji betrayed his own sect...

Lan Xichen cries at hearing that his brother chose to stand against them, at the news of thirty-three strikes of the discipline whips. He knows the history of Gusu Lan, knows how traitors are to be treated. He hopes his brother understood (will understand) that this was the most merciful punishment he could get away with.

He cries again when he hears that Nie Mingjue has died. His best friend, his oldest friend, his confidant, the person he trusted above all others.

He doesn't understand when Wei Wuxian tells him that he unknowingly sided (will side) with Nie Mingjue's murderer, but Wei Wuxian himself is surprisingly kind about it.

“Jin Guangyao was good at being what people needed him to be. There's little shame in having been fooled by him when he fooled so many. Even I couldn't quite believe it when I first realised that he was involved. There's just one person who saw right through him.”

Lan Xichen gasps.

We all lied to you.

“Nie Huaisang?”

Wei Wuxian nods, and continues his tale, but it makes no sense.

Nie Huaisang isn't like this. He's a sweet boy who smiles and laughs easily, who pretends to cower before his brother but stubbornly does as he pleases, knowing Nie Mingjue adores him too much to punish him. He's friendly and open and honest. He's not someone who lies and hides and plots in the dark. He's not someone who pretends to be people's friends only so he can better stab them in the back when the chance comes.

The way everyone else changed... that makes sense. He can imagine Lan Wangji going too far for love. He can see Nie Mingjue becoming inflexible in his vision of justice. Even for himself, he's always been the sort to try to please everyone, so it's no surprise that he became that man who sided with whoever seemed to promise peace. But Nie Huaisang? Nie Huaisang never gave any sign that he was anything but lovely and a little silly, how could this have happened?

“It's hard, losing the person who took care of you,” Wei Wuxian notes in a voice fraught with barely contained pain. “It can break you. I certainly did for me. And when something is broken, you have to be careful or the shards of it will cut even those trying to help.”

Wei Wuxian means himself and Lan Wangji.

He might mean Nie Huaisang and Lan Xichen, also.

Lan Xichen can feel a headache coming. He cried too much, and he learned too much, it feels like his skull is trying to collapse onto itself to block all this. He half regrets giving in to curiosity, but mostly he's glad he did.

Now he knows.

Now he understands.

It's not cowardice that pushed the man he became to do this to himself. He doesn't think that man really regretted those choices, not even the wrong one because they were made in good faith, and from a sincere heart, with what information he had.

Still, they were wrong choices, and they alienated him from just about everyone he ever cared for. These earnest, honest choices killed Nie Mingjue, they made his brother fear his happiness would be resented, they turned Nie Huaisang into a cruel and lonely man.

The man he became didn't want to forget, Lan Xichen thinks. He just wanted a chance for new choices, unburdened by the old ones, and he wasn't sure to deserve that chance as he was.

“That's the whole story,” Wei Wuxian says, oddly gentle now. “That's everything that happened, at least the parts that I know. There's got to be more, but I wasn't there for it, obviously. If you want more details, you'll have to ask someone else.”

Lan Xichen nods, wiping his tears with the back of his hand.

“Thank you for this, Wei gongzi. And thank you for...” he hesitates, and sighs. “Thank you for making my brother happy now, even if apparently it wasn't always so. I can't really judge the past, but I can see the present, and I like the way he smiles when he speaks about you.”

I like the way you smile when you think of him too, Lan Xichen decides as Wei Wuxian's face illuminates with a grin. He doesn't think the man he became could see this without resentment, but he can, and he's glad for it. He's glad he can rejoice in his brother's happiness and not feel the weight of twenty years of hardship spoiling it.

“Thank you as well, Zewu-Jun,” Wei Wuxian says. “That means a lot to me. I'll let you be now, you'll probably want a moment to digest all this, eh? Sorry for dumping it on you all at once, but... like I said, secrets break families. I've seen it once, I'm not seeing it twice.”

Lan Xichen nods. He feels tired, and the headache is there, unpleasantly insistent. He walks Wei Wuxian back to the door, makes him promise to come again, maybe with Lan Wangji next time. It seems to make Wei Wuxian genuinely happy, for which Lan Xichen is glad. He thinks they'll get along, the two of them. How could he not get along with someone who loves Lan Wangji this much?

Once Wei Wuxian is gone, Lan Xichen prepares some tea. It helps with the headache, and gives him time to think.

At dinner time, his uncle comes by to bring him food and give him news. There's no progress on a cure, partly because Lan Qiren still doesn't know how this happened. He still refuses to say what they both know: that Lan Xichen did this to himself. Lan Qiren is a man who can live with his choices, who can take loneliness if it is the price of righteousness, so of course he cannot understand what his nephew did. Lan Xichen doesn't tell him about Wei Wuxian's visit, and he doesn't tell him what he realised about this choice his future self made.

When he is alone again, Lan Xichen ponders what to do, now that he knows why he's here, why he's like this.

A chance for new choices.

He grabs some paper and prepares some ink. In carefully chosen words, he explains his newest choice, so his uncle and brother will not worry. They still will, of course, because they love him, and he's sorry because he loves them as well, but this can't be helped. It is something he must do.

He leaves his letter on the table, propped against a cup so that it cannot be ignored by anyone coming inside, and exits the house. In the near darkness of the rising night, it's easy to move undetected. It is easy, also, to avoid the disciples who patrol the Cloud Recesses so make sure everybody respects the curfew. He almost laughs as he jumps over the wall, elated by his own daring.

He doubts the man he'd have become would have tried to sneak out like this, partly because he can hardly believe he's doing it himself. But this too is a choice, and so is hopping on Shuoyue and turning it Northwest, toward Qinghe.

It's time for new choices.

Maybe Lan Xichen will regret those as much as he ended up regretting the others, but he won't know until he tries.

[ibijau]

Burn it down AU // on AO3 // extras on AO3

say hello to me torturing LXC because I’m fucking blocked on all my fics and need to prove myself I can still write anyway, have some lxc plotting to marry his brother to his own soulmate :D

“Are you sure?” Lan Qiren asks, who doesn't know. If he knew, he would oppose this, suspecting some trick.

There is no trick, just desperate hope that this might help Lan Wangji.

“Does Uncle object to my suggestion?” Lan Xichen asks with a mild smile.

“We did not get rid of Wei Wuxian to throw your brother into the arms of someone just as bad.”

It is an effort to keep smiling when every fibre of Lan Xichen's body, every part of his soul wants to scream that there is no comparison possible between a man like Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang.

“Uncle is perhaps a little unfair,” he says instead, as gently as he can to soften the fact that he dares show opposition. “If nothing else, Nie Huaisang would bring us a most welcome alliance, strengthen our ties with Qinghe Nie. With such strong links between Lanling Jin and Yunmeng Jiang, we must think of these things, mustn't we?”

“A marriage with a woman would be better.”

“I remember Uncle admitting that it would be impossible to get Wangji to marry a woman,” Lan Xichen notes, unable to keep a bitter edge from his voice. “Even if you force him, do you really think you will get an heir out of that union?”

“Who knows?” Lan Qiren remarks, stroking his beard. “He had his Wen bastard.”

Lan Xichen pinches his lips. His brother hasn't said anything of Wen Yuan's parentage, but he doubts there's a single drop of Lan blood in that child. There might be some Wei, though. Wen Qing was a pretty woman, and Wei Wuxian did drop everything to protect her people, before eventually going mad with grief after her death.

“You know how alcohol affects him,” Lan Xichen states. “Aside from this, I cannot explain the child.”

Lan Qiren sighs, but reluctantly nods.

“We'll see what the Nies will say to this. I wouldn't be surprised if they refused. It's hardly a flattering match for them.”

-

“Are you sure?” Nie Mingjue asks, who perhaps suspected, once. He used to tease Lan Xichen for being too indulgent towards Nie Huaisang. He's stopped doing that lately. There is no longer any chance for him to do it, when Lan Xichen still does his best to avoid the younger man.

“You've said yourself that it is hard to find a good match for your brother,” Lan Xichen points out, as if his heart isn't bleeding for a chance to be that match.

“I'm not sure your brother is exactly a good party anymore,” Nie Mingjue retorts. “Not after that business in Nightless City. I know Huaisang's not exactly the most desirable bachelor out there either, but I wonder if he couldn't do better.”

Lan Xichen nods politely. It hurts that his brother's reputation has been lessened, but that was Lan Wangji's own choice. All for a man who never cared for him, all for the memory of a teenager who was once the first person to really try to befriend him. Lan Xichen knows he shouldn't judge, not when his own passion for Nie Huaisang is not so different, but if he was strong enough to still make the right choices, why not Lan Wangji as well?

“I would never put pressure on you to accept the match if it is distasteful to you,” Lan Xichen promises. “And of course I hope Huaisang will also have his word to say in the matter.”

Nie Mingjue barks a laugh.

“Of course he will. That brat! It's impossible to make him do something he doesn't want. And once he's decided something, it's even harder to make him stop. Anyone who says I'm stubborn just hasn't ever had an argument with my brother.”

“He certainly has a mind of his own.”

“Hm. Do you want to be the one to ask him?”

The blood freezes in Lan Xichen's veins, though he manages to keep his smile on as he shakes his head. He can do a lot for his sect, for his family, but asking him to go to the man he loves and suggest he should marry Lan Wangji is... he cannot bear it. His uncle would be disappointed to find him still so weak, even after years of trying to extinguish this love that cannot be.

“I think it is better if it comes from you,” Lan Xichen says mildly. “I have given you my reasons, so I know you can share them with him. And if you're the one telling him, then you can share your misgivings without fear of offending me. I must insist that I won't take it as a slight if in the end, this doesn't happen. I feel I have to try, but if it doesn't work out, I will look for another idea.”

“I'll talk to him tonight.”

Lan Xichen thanks his sworn brother for this, and pushes the conversation in a less distressful direction. It is not easy. These days, most subjects of discussion carry pain and regrets.

That night, as he lays in bed in his guest bedroom in the Unclean Realm, Lan Xichen finds himself fighting a hope that shouldn't be. He knows that at this exact moment, Nie Mingjue must be telling his brother about the match offered to him, and perhaps...

Perhaps Nie Huaisang will come running to him, shouting at Lan Xichen for forgetting that moment they shared. Perhaps he will profess his love and Lan Xichen will finally have a reason to break, to give in, to kiss him again, to be his again. Lan Qiren won't let them marry but they could elope, they could leave behind all this politic, become rogue cultivators, let others deal with this mess. Lan Xichen isn't the one who sided with a criminal, he bent before all the rules, all the customs, all the traditions, so why shouldn't he get what he wants for once?

All Nie Huaisang has to do is say the word and Lan Xichen is his.

He always was.

-

“Are you sure?” Jin Guangyao asks, who does know because when they met Lan Xichen, wounded and delirious, confessed that he loved his best friend's brother and would ask for his hand if they came out of this victorious.

“I wouldn't have suggested it if I weren't,” Lan Xichen replies with a short, polite laugh, glad for this break from the guest list. Nie Huaisang was right, Jin Guangyao confirmed that the list is a disaster waiting to happen. Of course Nie Huaisang was right. “I'm quite over it, don't worry. I suppose it was never more than a teenager's infatuation. I think Wangji and him will be good for each other.”

Jin Guangyao glances at him, unconvinced. For a brief moment, Lan Xichen wonders if he will be called out on his lie. He half wants to be. He would be so grateful to his sworn brother if Jin Guangyao gave him a chance to say the truth, just once, to explain how much it hurts that Nie Huaisang so easily agreed to marry Lan Wangji, how stupid he feels for ever believing that Nie Huaisang loved him back, how much he wishes he were allowed to break and hide away, as his father did.

He is tired of being strong. He is tired in general. There hasn't been a single moment of peace in his life since the day Wen Xu came to burn down his home, and Lan Xichen is exhausted.

Yet Jin Guangyao, too polite to probe, doesn't even give him a chance to wallow in self-pity.

“I'm glad Er-Ge took my advice on this matter,” he says with a pleased smile. “I had not expected Er-Ge to pick such a husband for his brother, but I think you are right. Huaisang is spirited and pretty, but ultimately he is also harmless and unambitious so he will never tempt Wangji away from the righteous path. And since Huaisang is the sort of person who can get along with anyone, your brother is sure to start liking him sooner or later.”

“It is my hope. My brother deserves someone who can make him happy.”

“So do you, Er-Ge. Perhaps after we are done with this wedding, we should find you a bride?”

“There is no urgency,” Lan Xichen replies with a small chuckle. “Of course, with Wangji's child being legitimised, the issue of succession becomes a little less concerning. It is just as well. I am not in a hurry to marry. But if you want to play matchmaker, I do fear that Da-Ge will start getting lonely without Huaisang.”

Jin Guangyao grimaces at the thought.

“I'd rather find a bride for Er-Ge than Da-Ge,” he confesses. “You are far easier to please, and besides you know he will find objections with anyone I might suggest for him. He still resents me so much, I don't know what to do.”

“He'll get over it. He won't say, but I believe he is very happy to be getting so much help to organise this wedding. It will take time, but I know someday he'll let go of his grudge and see you had no choice. And if we find him a good wife, it will probably help. He won't have time to hold on to old disputes if he's busy raising a few children.”

“Fatherhood changes a man,” Jin Guangyao agrees, perhaps thinking of his own child, set to be born in only a few months. “As does marriage. You are right, we need to take care of our Da-Ge. But then you're next, Er-Ge. With all due respect, Er-Ge doesn't strike me as someone who should stay on his own.”

Lan Xichen laughs at that.

He certainly doesn't want to be on his own.

But aside from this one afternoon during the war, he's never been good at getting what he wants, anyway.