#this wasnt that kinda post im just feeling something that cannot be described

[mychemicalaromanticism]

things ive already established r on this post

besties this got so fucking long but heres a giant ramble about cherri

okay so. there are huge differences betwn cherri as a hyperviolent drac hunter and cherri as a friend of the four and cherri as the girls mentor. with the first one he was 17 and desperate to distance himself from his upbringing so he went all in on Being A Killjoy. he was always one of the first ppl to rush into a fight and he fought hard. he blew up his fuckin hand with that attitude. and all the while he was just racking up more unaddressed trauma and eventually he ran away from that, too. giving himself radiation poisoning was more appealing than facing his problems.

so as a teenager/young adult hes kind of constantly in a panicked state. hes scared the people from his past are going to find him and drag him back with them. so he lashes out and he runs away over and over again.

i said in another post that he has some past life shit goin on which usually would give him a connection to the witch that manifests early in life, but with all the stuff hes gone through he has been Preoccupied. he can become oblivious to almost anything that doesnt apply to whatever hes focused on. not in a hyperfocus way its likeeeeee. when u live on survival mode during prolonged periods of stress. hes immune to magic bullshit bc hes too tired and scared.

anyways around his mid-20s he finally has a little more stability (as much as the average person living in the zones can have, that is) and he finally notices that Weird Stuff happens around him. basically: out of my list of Powers People Connected To The Witch Have he has the prophetic dreams/enhanced intuition as well as a form of sensing ghosts where he can see auras and kind of like, echoes of past events in ppls lives. that look like auras. itz complicated and not of utmost importance so im leaving it at that.

anyways thats what makes him start writing poetry. just 4 funsies he'll describe his weird experiences and embellish them to make em pretty. just as a casual hobby n all that.

he would forget fun ghoul in between the times they ran into each other but its pretty easy to be reminded of who fun ghoul is. the most insane 10 year old cherri has ever met. cherri isnt a brother figure to ghoul. hes just. his friend that happens to be more than twice his age. its whatever lmao

to cherri, ghoul is kinda like a stray animal he keeps seeing. which is hilarious. ghoul actually goes and finds him to introduce him to jet when they start running together, and cherri meets party and kobra (spark and birdie at the time) when he drives the four of them to a party. because he has a truck hell yeah. so now instead of one stray animal he has, like, a feral cat colony that he drives around occasionally. i have no real-life human relationship equivalent to them because irl if some guy that is not related to any of you and isnt even a childhood or family friend and theyre hanging out with you? they are usually not a safe person lmao. but this is my fantasy land and im too stubborn to change anyones birth years even though ghoul being born in 2004 makes everything really hard to make not creepy.

so yeah hes a casual somewhat friend of the fab four. hed probably get more and more concerned as they got famous. the beginnings of any sort of protective feelings, awww :) that sets him up for becoming the girls mentor.

OH FUCK. THE GIRL..... i think if i was in my late 20s and i heard that the gang of 13-17 year olds had adopted a 5 year old kid i would go bananas. what the fuck. it is a LONG while before cherri meets her. but he has the strongest affection for ghoul (if you could even call it that) and ghoul absolutely adores the girl and swings her around under her arms like a cat to show her off to cherri and its very endearing and the girl is sweet and funny so its easy to be around her. and (unfortunately) she is somewhat used to interacting with weird easily agitated people so she kinda gives him space. cherri isnt quite the uncle figure the fandom usually makes him (i luv uncle cherri sm but he simply cannot exist in the universe ive created, f), but hes a little similar.

and then the four had to go and pretend to die. lol.

when the girl was kidnapped, fucking everyone who knew her was ready to storm the city then and there. like regardless of how little you knew her, if you had ever met her you would fucking die for her. she is pure childish charisma and shes precious. i love the girl. so cherris immediately on board with whatever plan the four make to get her back. ive already talked abt how it fucked up the girl tho; there was no way to tell her that the four werent actually dead, she sees the building collapse and she shuts down. and cherri has to fight against his instinct to leave the radio station and never come back when he sees an eight year old girl sitting dissociated on the couch. that fucks everyone up.

i just realized i havent talked about literally anyone else at the radio station. i think cherri started lingering around the station bc it was safe and sheltered while also not being a popular spot. there are less kids there (people pass through but its not a hangout spot). he was kind of just hanging around to get away from the heat and noise and dr d took notice. because that man can see ur soul and no one knows if thats literal or not. so theyd chat a few times a day and show pony was the one 2 get him out of his shell a little and also was the first one he mentioned his poetry hobby to. im making this all up right now as im writing bc i dont know anything about LITERALLY any of the ppl associated w the radio like im not even going 2 try with chimp n newsie i do not have the willpower to tackle all that. justttt. cherri pony n D become bros and live 2gether there.

back 2 the regular timeline. the rescue mission happens in 2019. the girl lives at the station until 2023. during that time she is very much depressed and withdrawn and is only happy when the four come to visit. none of the Adults know how to help her so they just keep her safe and cared for and hope she'll open up to them.

she does not. she takes the weird cat thats been hanging around and she runs away.

cherri does not see her for three years. shes still worse for wear in the mental health department and he can see all kinds of visions of what shes been through since the last time he saw her and he fucking hates the ultra vs bc they remind him of his past. he does not want her going down that path but its obvious that she isnt crazy abt the ultraviolence thing either so thats a relief.

they have a kind of tense relationship throughout the comics. he feels like he failed her and that spirals into feeling like he failed the four for not being a good adult to them and fun ghoul for not helping enough when his commune was bombed and all kinds of shit and that irrational thinking mixed with plain old, yknow, caring about the girl, is what makes him take a bullet (laser. whatever) for her.

i was trying to figure out the timing of each of their ghost experiences, but i want both of them to talk to the witch and im just gonna make it like dreams where a whole buncha stuff happens but irl its been like seconds. so its like barely a second while the girl has her Witch Convo and cherri FINALLY gets a straight answer, yes there is weird shit going on with him having powers. he doesnt have any story-significant past lives because im lazy, hes just an old soul. like really fuckin old. the amount of latent life experience and stuff his soul/energy/whatever has picked up along the way makes him VERY noticeable to gods n stuff. he fuckin lights up all the alarms like what the FUCK is that over there. she wasnt rly able to get to him or even properly notice him while he was a kid and a young adult so shes happy to finally see him again. he has a STRONG sense of familiarity with her. they know each other on a wild ass level that he cant really comprehend.

welp thats some more lore I'll have 2 think abt. anywayz

post canon is when he and val get to have the most awkward spiderman meme moment of realizing that they have the same trauma SOOOOO thatz fun lol /s sorry kings i thought it would be fun to give u something fucked up to bond over <3

not much changes in his personality. he has a better understanding of Weird Magic and delights in freaking out the ultra vs but for the most part he returns to his life at the radio station. i love him

THIS GOT SO CRAZY LONG I DID NOT MEAN 2 GO THROUGH EVERY PART OF HIS LIFE LIKE SOME WEIRD CHARACTER STUDY but here we are. this is basically a first draft like almost all of this is subject to change but u gotta start somewhere. so heres my start i love this guy. its probably obvious but i have not read ANY twitterverse killjoys stuff </3 maybe i will someday idk

[transguykeith]

i wanted to ask u a few of the writer asks but i can't decide which one i want to ask you most, could you answer all the asks? lmao if its too muh of a mission i can just decide on a few

It’s not like I’m doing anything else so yeah, why not. I just won’t ones that might not apply. I’ll put some of this under a read more:

1. Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

usually some sort of character study of sorts mixed in with scattered events to lead to an ultimate end goal.

2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

im a sucker for a good soulmate au, so maybe one of those eventually

3. Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?

i would never write an abo fic, just no

4. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

um, a LOT, like a ton of them my main one is a college au of sorts centering around Yuuri and Phichit as well as Victor, its title is Made of Stars and its gonna be fun to write

5. Share one of your strengths.

i mean, i guess im okay at character studies, but i dunno, im really not super great

6. Share one of your weaknesses.

pretty much everything, im not great at connectivity or writing in a pretty style. like i just kinda write, im not particularly great at it

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and  explain why you’re proud of it.

This is from chapter 5 of You’re Not Alone:He danced because he skated, and he skated because skating was flying. And somewhere along the way he forgot what had drawn him to it the first place. He supposed that that was what he was searching for some days, that spark that started everything.

That spark that started a fire, a fire that’s flames were the smallest they had ever been. It was almost funny how one small moment could all but extinguish him. A spark started it all, ballet was just kindling, ice skating was logs, and he was a forest ablaze. But it was as if that one moment had sucked the oxygen from the air and the flames died, it suffocated him.

This is a bit flowwier than some of what i write, it’s one of my favorite lines because it encompasses what i have him feeling in that exact moment

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

I think this is one of my favorites, it’s from chapter 17 of You’re Not Alone:

“I’m glad too,” Otabek smiled. “It’s how this doing goes though. You dedicate your soul, mind, and body to the ice and you don’t always get to leave without losing something to it. It’s give and take, we’re all just caught in an intricate dance until the fates bottom us out one way or another.”

“When did you go all serious on me?” Yuri teased. He had gotten used to Otabek’s propensity for the occasional dramatic monologue though, they gave a good look into the head of his friend.

“Think about it Yuri,” Otabek clearly wasn’t done. “Here we are, the pinnacle of humanity, literally trying to carve a place for ourselves in history. We have to fight the fundamentals of the universe to do what we do, work against gravity itself all while having a timer above our heads. Who knows when it will expire and the ice will take it all away. We fight everything to be able to do this: the laws of physics, the passing of time, even our own bodies. That’s what makes you a soldier, we all fight this fight but you’re out there with a makeshift helmet and a sharpened stick while the rest of us have full armor and swords. And who is it that we see winning the battle time and time again, you.”

“Did you really drag me out here to give a dramatic monologue on how impressive I am,” Yuri flushed at the barrage of compliments. “You’re such a dork,” he buried his face in his hands.

I just really like how it turned out.

9. Which fic has been the hardest to write?

I guess You’re Not Alone just because of how long it is, but it depends. some of it has been very easy to write and some of it ( ahem my current chapter) has been really hard

10. Which fic has been the easiest to write? 

I’ve written a lot of little drabbles and one shots that i havent posted anywhere but the easiest was probably the little request i did yesterday which is either titled “Pretty Darn Cute” or “The second prettiest boy in the world”

11. Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby?

a little bit of both really

13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

if you have an idea, write it down immediately. it doesnt matter if youre currently engaged in something else, write that shit down or you WILL lose it

14. What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

not necessarily advice, but like the idea of only writing it if you think its good

16. If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?

can I say Yuri Plisetsky and happiness, because yes

17. Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

I tend to write my chapters in order, but within each chapter i jump around a bit and then connect everything

18. Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines?

I have an outline in my head that i sometimes write down, im usually good about following it

19. Stephen King once said that his muse is a man who lives in the basement. Do you have a muse?

my muse is the genderless ghost that haunts me it stares into my cold soul and pokes me until i words

20. Describe your perfect writing conditions.

I prefer it to be kind of dark and i like to be nice and cozy, though sometimes ill be struck with random inspiration and have to write it no matter where i am

21. How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

Ha, revising?! whats that

25. What do you look for in a beta?I have never had a beta, but if i did have one i would like someone to help me idea bounce and keep my writing from sounding choppy

26. Do you beta yourself? If so, what kind of beta are you? 

I haven’t but i would be willing to if anybody wanted me to. I’m pretty good with general editing skills and idea flow

30. Do you accept prompts?

yes! please send me prompts i love them. I cannot exaggerate how much i appreciate being sent prompts

31. Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant?

i would say im right in the middle about this, it really depends on what im writing though

32. How do you feel about smut?

ive never really tried my hand at it, i havent written anything that calls for it, but my next fic might

33. How do you feel about crack?

i kind of have written some stuff that could be considered borderline crack, but most of it isnt fanfic and i havent shared that

34. What are your thoughts on non-con and dub-con?

personally, i probably wouldn’t write it, but if its necessary for a backstory then maybe but certainly not in detail

35. Would you ever kill off a canon character?

oh certainly, just depends on the fic im writing

36. Which is your favorite site to post fic?

ao3

37. Talk about your current wips.

my main wip is Youre Not Alone and that one is getting close to its end, i know where it’s going and how it will end i just have to write my way there, but I’ve had some pretty bad writers block in regards to it lately

38. Talk about a review that made your day.

i got this one really long review gushing about how much my story meant to them and how reading it always made their day feel better and that was just such a nice review and it made me really happy. Another one i really liked was somebody complimenting something i did that a lot of other people complained about so i really appreciated that one

39. Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

ive gotten a few upset reviews about something i included in You’re Not Alone, but i cant do much about it. i once got a review about four chapters in asking why yuri had a menstrual cycle and this wasnt rude exactly, but how do you read that far without knowing he’s trans in my fic