#this👌🏻close to dropping my therapist forever I swear
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Conversion therapy? In MY emdr with a clueless cis woman ? Its more likely than you think
#this👌🏻close to dropping my therapist forever I swear#i was telling her how my parents have acted my whole life like my body belongs to them and chose all my haircuts and clothes until age 14#and still act like its a fucking national tragedy every time i change my hair or get a tattoo or something#and how ive had a terror and disgust at the idea of pregnancy since childhood so much so that i used to have nightmares about it at like 5#and shes like well i need you to carefully consider if your desire to ‘change your body’ and ‘masculinize it’ is truly YOUR desire or if#you just want to make gestures to rebel and reclaim your possession of your body🥺#like wow youre so smart did you perchance read freud? I never considered the idea that events that have occurred to me might have affected#my identity behaviors and desires!#and like of course theres overlap of course these things are related. but even if its that way even if worst case scenario we do a Psyche#Deep Dive and find out that i was redacted as a kid or whatever. WHAT would that even change about me now!!!#WHY shouldn’t i be able to do things that would materially improve my life by giving me a measure of psychological peace even if i might#not want those things in a hypothetical alternate reality where nothing happened to me . why do i have to be sane and normal in order to#make decisions about my body and my life.#god. we struggling girlies🤪
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