#those silly trans folk...my beloved

[dragonfoxstardesigns]

Genova and Nikolai (Part One)

A tale about a female trans Gnoll and a demi God whom you may have seen from my thesis works, Quest for the Jewel of Life! Enjoy!

Long ways of the faraway kingdoms, the Outlands was spread far and wide without a care in the lands. Ships harbored the bordered grounds between the Bearing Straight and the oceans beyond. That is how I met my beloved, Nikolai.

I was requested to go along with my sisters and hire a grand captain to gather important medical herbs and plenty of supplies for our village's needs. After all we all took care of each other especially when it came to raising cubs or protecting our pack from men who only thought of us as nothing but savages. They only cared about getting their way, but little did they know that we fended ourselves with more than just raising children. We are warriors, hunters, herbalists, and leaders. Lovers came second unlike others that were not our brethren gnoll kindred.

Being onboard a ship was quite an adventure. The salt of the sea was overwhelming compared to the harvest and natural smells of the Outlands. It took a good bit to get used to the swaying of the ship, seasickness, and among being around a vast diversity of folks from race to sex and to even height difference. Everyone played their part on the ship despite being rich to middle class or poor, but there was something odd about one of them.

My eyes laid on what looked to be a fur-less two-legged male with an aura of great importance. Just by looking at their outer appearance one could say they were trying to hide the truth. Their clothing was a mixed array of fashion unlike I have ever seen. Then again I've only known a handful of cultures in each part of the ports. The only thing separating the many folks from this mysterious cladded figure was that they wore a metal helmet crown of sorts.

Like I said, myserious and might I add handsome even charming to a degree. I could get along nice and find out if they were persuading enough to come back with me, but until then I would have deal with gathering supplies for my village. They'll be second at best. For now.

----------------------------

I came to the major port of the Outlands to seek a sense of thrill and adventure away from my supposed duties of the Underworld. Mother and Father had been quite demanding as of late and it was high time I left the leisure of the Palace and find my own destiny. After all, being a Prince wasn't at all exciting when being guarded by the Palace Guards or the Gatekeepers. I wished nothing more than to be treated like a spoiled brat.

And so I snuck aboard the Dragoness of Destiny and told her to lead me to where, I hoped, I was meant to be and belong. Little did I know I would end up with such a marvelous and stunning yet strong gnoll named Genova.

The ship I boarded was remarkable! It was large enough to carry tons of equipment, barrels of gun powder, rum, and even the finest assortment of crew I had ever seen. That being said from a spoiled brat who only knew of his own world, but here it was extraordinary to see! The smell of the salty seas and the mixed array of other scents took a bit to get used to though especially trying not to get seasick the first time around. Luckily being a demi-god had its fair share of durability to nausea and other symptoms. However even the best had their own weaknesses.

My outfit was one of those weaknesses. I wasn't experienced with fashion from other cultures not to mention coordinated either. Luckily I knew of a few folks that could help me with a fake identity to keep my own from being uncovered. Prince Ishkah was fitting I might add. I had a metal crown-like helmet and comfortable clothing to match my adventurous needs, but alas I may have not been the best of disguises as someone has already noticed me. Can't say I blame them for staring. They were attractive and definitely had a courageous aura of leadership to boot.

----------------------

No matter how many times I had tried to be on my best behavior, I couldn't help but want to know more about this mysterious cladded figure. Rumors spread that they were from another land. Others mentioned them as nothing more than royalty. Still, there was just something that I couldn't place that drew me to them - and I was going to find out. One way or another if you know what I mean.

And so I began purposefully bumping into them at first. They weren't exactly rude if not used to seeing one of my kind I supposed. We started off doing small talk and getting to know one another between meeting on deck when we could or during meal times. Never had I met a non gnoll that was respectful especially that of a male. They treated me with importance giving eye contact when talked to or rather listening as well. Not shy or hiding secrets that I could place my finger on, but still it was strange that their wardrobe kept most of their features, for instance ears for example, from being seen. Only that of their captivating eyes, nose, and rather sumptuous lips. Yes, they were very attractive okay?

One day though I could sense a storm was brewing over yonder. The ship still had a ways to go until our destination port so we had to wade it out regardless. All crew were told to stay in their cabins unless for emergencies. It was then that I noticed before heading in that this 'Prince Ishkah' was going in the opposite direction. Their facial expression was hidden, but from what I could gather they were either serious or foolish to venture out on deck in this. I sighed and shook my head before heading to see just where this Prince was going.

I stayed low keeping watch from a distance. it felt silly to be spying on them, but my instinct told me otherwise. Gnolls had a keen sense of natural curiosity after all and I was hook, line, and sinker in this case. It seemed that there was nothing out of the ordinary. The mysterious cladded male was at the head watching over the rail as if nothing could harm or endanger them. Oddly calm too despite the ever gloomy skies howling with wind and the raging sounds of thunder just on the horizon. This man was either bold or very ignorant.

Needless to say I couldn't stay in the shadows for long. My stomach was in knots full of nerves. I had to get him to safety even if risking my life to do so. It seemed for the best considering the stories I had heard from my sisters and the other crew members. A storm was not to be played with no matter how valiant even the most noble were. Regardless of Prince Ishkah's status I made my way over carefully to where they stood.

"Are you out of your mind, Ishkah?!" I went over just as the clouds dumped rain on the both of us.

"Why? Is there something I should know..?" Ishkah replied calmly looking over his shoulder not even seemingly phased by the heavy downpour and wind picking up.

"Yes! Didn't you hear the Captain order all hands on deck to go indoors unless told otherwise?! You'll die out here in this storm now come on!" I barked gathering my strength and courage hoping there was no trace of my nerves betraying me.

"I'll be fine, really...you should head back indoors, Genova. For your own safety."

"My safety?! You must be crazy coming out here in this! I don't care if you are a Prince or even a human slave! People die in storms like this aboard ship, Ishkah! Can't you understand that-!!!"

It was too late then because the next thing I knew the ship rocked against pounding waves just as lightning struck above us. My eyes bulged and ears laid flat against my head as my last bit of strength left me. It sounded like the Gods were angry or trying to play a ruthless game and soon found myself facing the same fear that I had tried to save Ishkah from.

"Genova!"

That was all I could hear as my vision went black and all senses left me.

[hell-guild]

HELLO, HELLIONS! today, may 6th, 2019, marks... THE SECOND YEAR OF [HELL]! and i’m here to bring you a big feelgood post about it! ✨

i know, i know, officers make feelgood posts a lot! we’re sentimental! but truly, genuinely, i wanna talk about the last two years!

i think you’d be hard pressed to find anyone in the guild who wouldn’t say what an incredibly and absolutely wild ride the last two years have been. many people have been in and out of our guild spaces, but the firey spirit that keeps our guild going lives on and keeps us moving forward. our guild has seen people find their identities, fall in love, start their transitions, make new best friends, create found families, go through life changes and milestones, overcome hardships, and continue to wade through the sea of life as endless doors open and close. a lot of people might think it’d be silly to get so sentimental about ‘just an mmo guild’, but it’s true, and those of us who have lived through all these things and more know it’s true and know how much the guild has helped us through it all!

2 years ago when looska and i decided to found hell guild, we just wanted to create a space where people could chat and be themselves. we were going through hard times and had very little friends to lean on at the time, and we wanted to take the chance and make the guild to see if there was anyone out there like us. needless to say, the guild has absolutely grown beyond our wildest dreams, and still continues to!

and we’re not the only people who feel this way! let’s have a look at some of the things our beloved members have to say:

HELL is more than just a guild, it feels like a welcoming little oasis of friends! I've only been here about a year but I love this lil family we got.

the best guild ever and best group i've ever been into, got me to be more brave

im really glad i was able to join this guild,cause i think it has allowed me togrow as a person,and to try and interact more whit other people,i also got to meet lots of people i would probably have never met otherwise,and well,playing an mmo alone for years is not as fun as playing it whit lots of friends,so for that,im really happy i got to join HELL

Honestly, it's just been really nice having a guild full of fellow LGBT folks with weird and random interests to get into different things with. I was so scared to put in my app when y'all rolled up just before Christmas year before last, and I even apologized in a second app when I was pretty sure my first one got eaten by Google. But everyone has been super chill since I joined, and I'm glad to still be here, and hope to be around for a while yet to come.

despite its reputation hell is a surprisingly welcoming and friendly place. throws some really rad parties! thanks satan

bread

I move around a lot so I don't really get the chance to make any local friends, so I'm super grateful to be part of such a friendly guild that hosts a bunch of non-guild mission activities/events. Everyone is just so friendly and willing to help, whether it's with GW2 or other things. Thanks!

You've all grown a lot in 2 years, with a lot of love and patience in your hearts.

i love everyone here so much! so much!

ok i just wanna say. im bad at having coherent thoughts and even worse at putting those into readable sentences, but im so glad to know everyone here. this is such a nice place where i can just exist AND be gay & trans without it feeling like im an Other because of it. everyone here is v good and i love yall & i genuinely hope everyone here achieves whatever they set their minds to

But also, it is SO nice to have a space I can go to and just... expect a certain standard of behavior. We can have fun and talk freely, but I'm never afraid that someone is just going to bust out something absolutely horrible. That's a rare and really special atmosphere to have!

i love this guild & everyone in it. im so glad to have met everyone in here & im happy to call yall my friends. youve all helped me a lot and i wish every HELLion to have a good year & good life in general

truly, you all put it way better than i could have, and i mean it sincerely from the bottom of my heart when i say I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH! i myself have overcome so many personal wounds and had so much personal growth and found the love of my life due to hell guild.

you all are truly the best folks i could wish to know, and you are all part of what makes hell truly great, whether you’re an officer or whether you only interact with us once in awhile. the greatness of the guild is not upon any one person’s shoulders, but how all of you come together with genuine empathy in your hearts and care for the people around you. so, once again, THANK YOU! and here’s to many more happy years for our guild!

-- jackson

[theinsatiables]

10 Years Later, Why the Wachowskis’ Flop ‘Speed Racer’ Is Actually a Masterpiece

The ability to roll with punches and follow a movie into different emotional realms, especially goofy ones within serious narratives, is the ability to not take yourself too seriously. It is the ability to be adult and roll into all kinds of states of emotion, not just the ones we think we want to be in. To that point, Speed Racer basically requires you to roll with the punches on a pretty extreme level. Yes, the silliness feels silly. But if you accept that, then the danger is dangerous, too. And yes, the epic race across the desert goes on “too long,” but in doing so, it genuinely feels epic.The film is always itself. Especially as it slides back and forth between dramatic and comic emphasis with the blistering assuredness of pure operatic glee, all while living and breathing every moment sincerely. And what else would an 11-year-old’s fever dream about weaponized race cars, ninja fights and family togetherness be but achingly sincere?Speed Racer came out 10 years ago today, and I’m pretty sure I haven’t shut up about it since. But for good reason. I think it remains one of the most criminally overlooked films in recent memory and also one of the most oddly inspiring. While I know there are fellow fans who would wholly agree with this superlative, the notion runs contrary to the conventional wisdom surrounding the film’s release.

Coming off of the unparalleled success of the The Matrix films (even with the under-baked reaction to Matrix: Revolutions), fans were so excited for the Wachowski siblings’ next cinematic foray into something new. And it was going to be Speed Racer! An update of the beloved ’60s anime that many had grown up with! It implied there would electrifying, matrix-esque car chases! Frenetic action! All from the two filmmakers who had come to define the new serious-cool-ass cyberpunk! Hooray!  

But for those who loved the leather-clad adult fare of their previous work, they had no idea what to do with this fluffy, neon-soaked bit of confection that was being sold to them. And neither did the general audience. Speed Racer bombed, and it bombed hard. And as a result, many came to dismiss the film without ever seeing it. Or worse, those who saw it simply had no idea what to do with it.

Which is unfortunate.

But to really get on board with Speed Racer, you have to accept its varied intentions. Starting with the fact that yes, this is indeed a true-blue PG kids film. Because of that, it will be unapologetically goofy, over the top and prominently feature monkey gags. Moreover, you have to accept that it is going to devote itself to the notion of being “a live-action cartoon,” one that constantly eschews realism in favor of a hyper-stylized, bright aesthetic as far removed from The Matrix as I can think of.

A lot of people argued that the film’s aesthetic existed in the uncanny valley (which suggests “humanoid objects that appear almost, but not exactly, like real human beings, and which elicit uncanny or strangely familiar feelings of eeriness and revulsion in observers”). But, to me, it works precisely because it’s not even trying for the in-between. Instead, it’s trying to something closer to the humans-in-toon-space of Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

Simultaneously, you have to accept that this PG kids film will also be, at times, incredibly serious: a two-hour-and-fifteen-minute epic that delves into convoluted plot-lines of mystery identities, corporate white-collar intrigue, nonsensical plot fake-outs, a surprising amount of gun violence and even a weird climactic rant about stock price manipulation. And all the while, you have to accept that within this, the emotional backbone of the film will be a surprisingly wholesome exhibition of family love, understanding and togetherness.

Yes, all of this exists within Speed Racer. And, tonally-speaking, I mean it when I say it is one of the weirdest movies I have ever seen in my entire life. (It’s also a testament to the trouble that a lot of anime and non-naturalistic Japanese storytelling has in terms of adaptation.) And so I get why that is hard for people to swallow, I really do.

But what we’re really talking about is the push-pull of tone-changing filmmaking, wherein I will argue until I’m blue in the face that singular tones are dead-ends to adventurous storytelling. For instance, I love the work of Christopher Nolan, but if you just layer an entire movie in a singular tone you are, in a way, just lying to the audience. From start to finish, Nolan’s films feel propulsive, adult and entirely serious—even if when they, you know, aren’t on the deeper textual level of a moment. But that’s all part of the emotional coding for the audience and in service of the end goal: it makes them feel serious, too. All because it validates their interests as being equally serious.

This is why so many of those inclined to like singular tones have trouble with the work of someone like Sam Raimi. I hear people commenting that his films are “too corny” all the time; that word choice is both telling and bizarre. Because, while Raimi’s movies can be goofy and over the top, they are also achingly dark, sincere, and full of emotion. So really “too corny” is just code for: “this was often goofy and I don’t like movies that make me feel like my interests are goofy.” Which, ironically, I find to be an incredibly juvenile attitude—one that is not trying to be an adult. It’s trying to dress up kid-interests to seem adult, when really adulthood is just rolling with the punches and embracing things for whatever they really are.

The ability to roll with punches and follow a movie into different emotional realms, especially goofy ones within serious narratives, is the ability to not take yourself too seriously. It is the ability to be adult and roll into all kinds of states of emotion, not just the ones we think we want to be in. To that point, Speed Racer basically requires you to roll with the punches on a pretty extreme level. Yes, the silliness feels silly. But if you accept that, then the danger is dangerous, too. And yes, the epic race across the desert goes on “too long,” but in doing so, it genuinely feels epic.

The film is always itself. Especially as it slides back and forth between dramatic and comic emphasis with the blistering assuredness of pure operatic glee, all while living and breathing every moment sincerely. And what else would an 11-year-old’s fever dream about weaponized race cars, ninja fights and family togetherness be but achingly sincere?

Even the much ballyhooed stock price rant is inspired: that’s the point of the film’s laser targeted messaging. While so many kids’ films depict the ethics of villainy as some mustache twirling vehicle for evil and evil alone, Speed Racer has the guts to tell you that evils of the world are far more mundane (and lucrative). But as one-note as the stock market speech feels (as Roger Allam gives a deliciously unhinged performance), the message itself is not some reductive estimation of art and commercialism. Given literally everything else about Speed and his family’s business, Speed Racer is arguing there is nothing wrong with success, fandom, and connection between the two. It is simply pointing out that any system that puts the tiniest bit of money and “the perpetual machine of capitalism” over the sanctity of that connection, will only ever manage to sever that same connection.

That may seem “too adult” for a kids film, but I think it’s inspired, especially as kids are a lot smarter than you think (especially when you don’t talk down to them and trust them to handle things). So, if you buy this notion, and if you buy the family drama that has brought Speed to the final race, then it all comes together thematically into one of the most electric, abstract and emotional endings I can think of—one that wholly reaffirms that we are so much more than any single moment, but the product of everyone who helped get us there along the way. I cry every damn time I watch it.

And nestled within that ending is the larger meta-narrative of the Wachowskis’ entire career, their core theme if you will: the notion of intrinsic identity and becoming your best self. I’ll admit, I often have a lot of trouble with the idea of “destiny” in modern storytelling, precisely because I see a lot of irresponsibility associated with it. What used to be a giant metaphor for hubris has sadly become short-hand wish-fulfillment to believing you are the specialist hero in the universe, an attitude that often reeks of a lot of unintentional uber-mensch vibes.

But within Speed Racer, the metaphor of “race car driver” doubles with artist, or any other childhood dream—the kinds of dreams that must be stuck to, and chased after, with gleeful joy in order to bring said dreams to life. More than that, the metaphor gains so much within the context of the Wachowskis’ personal lives, as we now can look at so much of their work within the landscape of trans messaging—to the point that a lot of their work now has slid into “full text” metaphors of trans identity shifting, such as with Cloud Atlas and Sense 8. In that, I find their work to be the most powerful. By reclaiming destiny and the hero’s journey, they take it all away from “you are destined to be better than everyone else” and make it instead “you are becoming who you always really were, while discovering empathy in all those around you.” This is precisely the sort of loving, hallmark messaging that many too-cool-for-school folks would eye-roll at, but there is no doubting that the Wachowskis’ arrival at this earnestness is both hard-fought and hard-won.

This is all not to say that I’m unaware of the contradictions within their work, most specifically within the catch 22 of violent glorification against anti-violence. But within the “hyper language” of cinema, their violence just becomes part of the operatic aching sincerity.

But I understand that a lot of people aren’t sure what to do with the aching sincerity of it all. I remember how many people saw Jupiter Ascending and made fun of Eddie Radmayne’s truly gonzo performance, but I feel like he was the only one who really knew what movie he was in. He wasn’t pushing it too far; everyone else’s plasticity was weirdly holding it back. I genuinely love him in that film. Sure, the performance might be “too corny” and make you feel “weird,” but it’s precisely the kind of weird that opens the world up and imbues it with life and verve.

Maybe weird and jarring is exactly what we need. For, in a cinematic world full of carefully structured disaffection, the Wachowskis are still the most passionate, jarring and unworried filmmakers we have. And in that journey of self-discovery, it’s the odd mix of gee-golly sincerity of Speed Racer that is both exemplary of (and marks the transitional point of) their entire career.

Which only leaves me with one question: why, in a career full of identity questions, systematic oppression and selfhood, is their most exemplary film about the message of family perseverance and togetherness? In truth, I don’t know what their relationship is like with their larger nuclear family, nor does it matter. What we do know, and have always known, is who Lana and Lilly Wachowski are to each other: friends, collaborators, sisters. They are as loving a literal family as we have ever seen in cinema. And within their art, they’ve been telling us of their specific, powerful experience in the most universal and commercial of cinematic ways.

For well past 10 years now, they’ve telling us by shooting, chopping, rocking out, screaming, singing, dressing up, joking, lecturing, goofing, laughing and anything and everything in between. Many often roll their eyes at such naked, heartfelt audacity. “Too corny,” they say out of the side of their mouths. But such disdain is all part of the pains of being pure at heart.

And really, they are the joys.

< 3 HULK

[tipsycad147]

Yule, known as the Winter Solstice, Mōdraniht (or Mother’s Night), Alban Arthur, marks the longest night of the year. The Solstices are probably some of the oldest holy days celebrated by our species and monuments from around the ancient world were built to align with the sun on these sacred days. It’s a time to gather together in the warmth of each other’s good company and remember that we are interdependent with all life and death on earth. Continuing a project started at Lughnasadh, here’s a list of nine things that you might-do (or not) for Yule and the deepest dark of the year.

Extend the season for less pressure and more cheer. The winter holidays in many parts of the world are times for family reunions, harkening back to our ancestral impulse to gather together with kith and kin to make it through the season. It can be a lot of pressure to try and host everyone on one single day - so don’t. In my household, our Yule season comes to life slowly, really beginning to grow bright starting on the first of three Thursdays from Christmas (aka Knocking Night). For me an extended season of celebration helps me feel that I’ll time for company and time for cosying up under the blankets, the moon hound at my feet, a good book in my hands, and a cup of tea chortling beside me.

Tell stories aloud. Whether reading from your favourite book or making up a story from scratch, the long nights are ripe for the harvesting of stories. We are wired for storytelling and listening to a story is a unique sort of magick that can’t be replicated by solo reading or watching movies. Bonus points for telling a story only by candlelight.

Make your own decorations. You don’t have to make all of your decorations, but there is something very sweet (and very Pagan) when it comes to creating your own decorations from items from nature. Homemade decorations made from earth-centred materials help bring us closer to the world rather than separate us from it.  Whether making pomanders, cutting out citrus stars to string about a tree, creating recycled paper chains, or bringing in evergreen boughs to decorate a room, festooning our house can take on the same spirit as dressing an altar.

Celebrate what you already have.  From decorations that you’ve bringing out for years to using the same holiday recipe that’s been handed down through generations, practice gratefulness for what you already have in your life - and ones that are specific for the season. Of course, you can expand your gratefulness to all areas of your life, but it can be really helpful to get grateful about the particularities of your life that make the winter joyful - it can act as a buffer against the “must-have!” pressures of the culture at large.

If you buy new, buy small. I recently wrote about the profoundly positive impact shopping small can have on small business owners like myself. If you are going to purchase new items this year, support your locally owned businesses. Second choice would be to support your global network of small business creators. I can’t tell you how many times I am filled with gratefulness (and relief) when an order comes in at the right time and I am able to pay a bill, buy groceries, and continue to run my business. I try and support little and local more often than big and corporate and it pleases me greatly knowing that so many folks are participating  in this powerful spell of interdependence and resilience.

Make sun-shaped foods. As the sun wanes until its weakest point at the Winter Solstice, practising a bit of sympathetic magick can not only help remind the big gaseous star in the sky that we like it very much, thank you, but also bring cheer to those of us waiting again for warmer days. Cakes and bread can all be shaped into little suns and shared at the festival tables and golden coloured drinks can warm us up from the inside out. Create your own candles. I like to make candles during the Yule season to use for the rest of the year, blessing them at the fire festival of Imbolc. Candlemaking can be a time to meditate on the ways that each of us are a candle in the dark - when we gather together our illumination and warmth grows - and how we care for and tend to the needs of our brightness and the brightness of others throughout the year.

Honour the Wild Hunt. Depending on your cultural orientation, there are many myths surrounding the Wild Hunt and ways of understanding Their work and purpose.  One of the important functions of the Wild Hunt for me is that They are the wild-hearted crew which never forgets the names of the forgotten dead and those who have died too soon. In my personal cosmology They are the protectors and seekers of the Queer and Trans dead, bringing them home to peace on billowing clouds of stardust and cackles. They come to land on earth on Yule, after a season of sweeping over the land finding all the lost souls that They love so fiercely, bringing the Beloved and Forgotten Dead to the feasting table for the twelve long nights of Yule, moving on again at the end of December. Set a place at the table for Them, place candles in the windows, and wish swift passage to a place of rest and joy for those departed. In the long passages of dark it is good to remember that there exists a great many Someones who’ll never forget who we are.

Sing Together. It doesn’t have to be fancy, you don’t have to worry about being in tune, and it requires nothing but your presence and few simple songs, but singing with others is so good for us. Singing is an endorphin-releasing practice and when we sing together we are practising feeling good with one another. It isn’t a coincidence that so many of our movements for change have been held together with song (here’s a really dramatic and inspiring example) and so many moments of passage in our lives are marked by song (i.e. singing at birthday parties). Songs are a great way to pass on knowledge (modern Pagans do it all the time with our vast collection of ritual chants) and to be sweet and silly with others. There are so many songs for the Yule season that there is surely one that you can find joy singing with others as you sip a hot beverage and light candles for the glittering Hunt.

I’ve written a lot about winter and staying well - from building your winter apothecary to healing and magickal practices of the season. I’ve made a tarot spread for the season and shared a tea or two as well.

However your Yule season unfolds I hope that it brings you closer to the source of love in your life in the many ways that it manifests. That your merry and bright is enduring and ephemeral, sustaining and also open to the magick of a passing flash.

wortsandcunning.com/blog