#thought you’d appreciate some bro fluff hope i got it right lol

[d0d0-b0i]

did a little something for @studioboner! happy bday man :D

[onlyswan]

summary: in which you sacrifice your strawberries and eyelash wishes for the boy knocking at your door.

idol!jungkook x reader, strangers to friends (?) to lovers / fluff and a pinch of angst / word count: 5.5k

content/warnings: allusions to death and grief / jungkook is a cutie patootie and a blushing hopeless romantic mess / he wants to kiss oc so bad (me too bro) / oc is a sunshine <3 / they do chores and watch movies together :((( / in one scene he was worried oc would think of him as a perv lmao / they’re dorks and i love them / seokjin cameo hehehe

> in which masterlist!

note: to make up for the pain i may have caused and will cause <3 LOL. i hope you enjoy reading as much as i enjoyed writing :D as always reblogs and feedback are appreciated! come chat w me. ily 🌼

—

“it’s so cold,” you mutter through chattering teeth.

the grocery bags sit on the hardwood table with a thud— the careless bringer too hasty. you shove your icy hands in the deep pockets of your jacket, breathing in and out with a sense of relief.

you are not granted the mundane euphoria for much longer, however. the doorbell rings and you are padding across the floor against your will. the cold air hits your face before it enters your apartment.

however, the happy smile that greets you blankets your heart with a type of warmth that is difficult to describe.

if you had to guess who was behind the door, you wouldn’t say the boy you’ve been fiercely pining over for the past month, but it is certainly who you’d be hoping for regardless.

“good morning!”

“oh! wait there for a moment!”

jungkook stands motionless by your open front door as you disappear into your apartment. confusion accompanied by curiosity, he tries poking his head inside, but then decides that he shouldn’t.

upon your return, his face lights up again.

“here you go!”

he accepts the jar of honey faster than he could think.

“w-why are you-?”

you tilt your head, lips forming a small pout. “isn’t that what you’re here for?”

“uh, actually-” he awkwardly pauses, hand that carries the heavy paper bag behind him suddenly feeling weak. “i came here to give you something.”

your eyes animatedly expand in surprise of the size of it, not at all expecting to receive a gift from him today. you do know that he’s fresh from japan, as you converse on the phone almost everyday… why would he come here almost immediately? and didn’t he say they weren’t given the chance to roam the city because of their work schedule?

“i just grabbed things i thought you might like. i hope i got most of them right?” he explains with a nervous chuckle as you take a look inside.

a diverse array of snacks; a beautiful journal painted with cherry blossoms; a hello kitty plushie; stickers, muji pens…

“oh my god, jungkook… these are too much. you didn’t have to.”

oh, curse the hopeless fluttering of your heart.

“wow, gifting your merch- that’s real idol behavior for you.” you tease him, referring to the hooded jacket that has their group logo on its plastic packaging. “thank you!”

“no but it seriously warms you up! i have one too!”

“jungkook, why are you so cute?!”

“ah, shut up! i’m getting embarrassed!” he whines, blushing. “just look at them later after i leave, how about that?”

“let go! it’s mine!” you glare at him, hugging the paper bag to your chest to deny his advances on snatching it away. “are you not leaving? don’t you have work?”

“i told you— it’s my rest day.”

“you did?”

“while we were texting last night.”

“oh,” you blink. “i don’t remember reading that.”

“you? what are you doing today?”

you bite back the smile threatening to give away the thoughts running in your mind a thousand miles per hour. why does he want to know?

“nothing special. just chores the entire day.”

jungkook puts his hand inside the pocket of his coat, an attempt to appear casual as he offers you his valiant effort. “do you want some help? i’m good at doing chores.”

you stare at him, perplexed, as if he just said the most ridiculous sentence you’ve ever heard in your entire life.

“it’s your rest day and you want to do chores?”

“sure,” he grins playfully, not at all seeing how that could be wrong. “why not?”

“you know…” you pause— observing his expression, considering shutting your mouth, but that plan rarely ever works out. “you can just say that you want to spend time with me, right?”

your bluntness sends his heart racing. you’re a danger to his health.

he sinks his perfect teeth on his bottom lip, bringing his dimples into view. to be honest, you didn’t always have a thing about dimples. you didn’t consider them all that special. but why do they make him look cute and sexy at the same time?

his cheeks become tinted with a pale scarlet. you’re wearing that friendly beam again; he doesn’t know how to act. he never knows whether you are joking or not.

“well, now i know.”

—

jungkook sets down the jar of honey on the table as he settles in the living room, fascinated doe eyes darting around every inch of your place. it’s not his first time here, but somehow, it looks different each time. the two frames hanging above the sofa captures his attention all over again, colorful drawings against the plain white wall. gifted to you by your siblings, you said.

a tall castle with a happy family. a little boy slaying a dragon to protect a princess from its savage fire.

he is blissfully unaware of the knowledge that the drawings are the lone survivors of a school bus and a tragedy. you want it to stay that way. you want people to feel the opposite of the sadness you feel when you look at them. that is how you seek your peace.

“are you wearing toe socks?”

“huh?” he makes a sound of confusion, only processing your question upon seeing your gaze trained to his feet. “ah- toe socks- yes.”

“i’m only noticing them now. they look funny.” you scrunch your nose, chuckling.

“don’t laugh! they’re so comfortable!”

“really?” your eyes widen with genuine interest. “i should try them then.”

“yeah, you should!”

he whips his head around as he jokingly voices out an observation.

“but ____, your house kind of looks different today… it’s almost like it’s cleaner than the last time i was here.”

you bury your face in your hands with a high-pitched wine, hiding from him in humiliation. you did not plan on inviting someone over that night, and he had to watch you run around organizing and picking up things— the scattered books all over the table and the floor; the jackets that have created a big heap on the small couch; the jewelry box that ended up on the dining table for some reason.

he laughs in endearment, unable to take his eyes from you. even the way your hair bounces as you furiously shake your head is pretty. wait, does that sound weird?

“that’s right, it should look different! the first thing i did when winter break started was clean up my mess.”

“what’s the first chore on the list then?” he catches the grocery bags in the kitchen from his peripheral. “were you putting away your groceries?”

“you really want to do chores? you don’t want to watch a movie or something?”

“aigoo, it’s fine!” he waves off your reluctance. “stop worrying! i already said i’d help you.”

“but it’s embarrassing…”

it’s either jungkook is denying your advances or he is simply dense. but the fact that he showed up at your door unannounced on his day-off despite complaining about his exhaustion from their hectic work schedule, you want to lean towards the latter and believe that he is… as good at chores like he claims to be.

“you must like fruits a lot.” jungkook comments as he is squatted infront of your fridge, sheltering the freshly bought perishables one by one.

kimchi, lettuce, strawberries, tangerines, shine muscat, apples…

this is an entirely different world through your lens.

it feels strange to watch another person restock your fridge for you.

“they’re easy to eat and i’m lazy to cook.”

he chuckles as he looks back at you, who is sat on the dining table, airy and carefree as you snack on a bag of assorted chocolates from the paper bag he brought. almost all of the white chocolates are gone, he notes.

“not because they’re nutritious?”

“that’s the bonus!”

“what is this?”

“cranberry juice.”

“and this?”

“oyster sauce.”

you energetically hop off the table, an idea lighting up the bulb in your mind.

“i have another recipe for you. french toast with strawberries, then drizzle some of the honey. should i make it for you?”

“ah!” he gasps as if he is in pain, but the truth is his mouth is watering. he hasn’t eaten breakfast, and he wanted to eat more for dinner last night but sleep proved to be much more enticing than food. “that sounds so good! i’m starving!”

“stand up!” you begin pulling at the back of his sweater, forcing him to remove himself from the floor. “i’ll make it! just go relax in the living room, okay?”

“but you just said you’re lazy to cook.” he tilts back his head, meeting your gaze. “i’ll help you.”

“i’m not lazy when it becomes to being a host.”

you bend down with a sweet smile, merely inches away from him, and jungkook swears the earth has stopped spinning on its axis. your face is natural and bare, except for the sheen of lip balm across your lips— and dear heavens, having you this close, you are so breathtakingly beautiful.

“they’re playing christmas movies on channel 36.” you announce, giving him the bag of chocolates. “and the remote is… somewhere on the sofa… or maybe the floor.”

and as he gets practically kicked out of the kitchen, your hands roughly pushing his back, he daydreams of kissing you and tasting sugar on your lips.

—

the sweet, addicting smell of the french toast— strong hints of butter and cinnamon— invades every corner of your apartment. consequently, it also compels jungkook to break your rules and insert himself in the kitchen again.

“you never give up, do you?”

“i don’t,” he agrees, nodding eagerly. he has successfully stolen the task of washing the strawberries, and then slicing them after. he endures the freezing water rendering his hands numb. “it’s a known fact.”

“are you saying i should study harder?” you cross your arms, expression painted with faux vexation.

“yes! exactly!” he humors you, grinning of amusement. “what’s my favorite color?”

you sigh, looking at him from head to toe.

“anyone can guess that from a mile away, jungkook.”

“fuck, okay. that’s fair!”

the sound of his laughter reminds of you reasons to stay through the cycle of the seasons. you don’t understand why, but for some reason, it has finally begun to feel like christmas. the only comfort that comes along with the cruel winter that nips at your skin; the blanket over your heart that provides a type of warmth one can travel to seek but will never be able to find alone.

“what’s my height then?”

“aren’t you six feet?”

the silence that follows is an answer enough for you. the noise of the television emerges now that none of you is talking. he pretends to be too busy to speak, transferring the strawberries over to the chopping board.

“yes, you’re ri-”

“liar!” you point an accusatory finger at him.

and he winces, guilty as charged.

“you hesitated!”

“tsk, i should’ve said yes faster! i wanted to experience what it’s like to be tall!” he regretfully purses his lips, eyebrows knitted as if he just lost the lottery. “but haven’t you read it online? even my shoe size and weight are there.”

“what? why do people even need to know that…?” you exclaim, flabbergasted. “i mean- of course i’ve searched up your name, but it feels like cheating on a test. does that sound silly…? it’s just more fun learning about you from you.”

you briefly walk away to grab a bottle of water from the fridge, and jungkook is left at the counter with fondness blossoming in his chest, bleeding into the chopped strawberries staining his hands red.

he calls out your name.

“mhmm?” you hum in question, muffled by the water in your mouth.

“want to hear a fact about me?”

you wipe your lips with the back of your hand, eyes expanding with fueled interest. “what?”

“i’m actually very good in the kitchen.” he boasts his skills with the kitchen knife, quick and precise, the blade against the wood creating the satisfying click you usually only hear from cooking shows. “are you seeing this? huh…? what do you think?”

“so i’ve noticed. i want something new!”

at that, his shoulder sags in disappointment. to his demise, there goes another failed attempt at making you acknowledge that he is boyfriend material.

“what do you want to know? ask me questions.”

“what’s your ideal type?”

being in your presence for the past hour has gotten jungkook re-adjusted to your personality— straight-forward, bold, smart— so vivacious that it’s dizzying. you make him nervous and comfortable at the same time, and he doesn’t quite know how to explain it either. but you’re a breath of fresh air, the change that he has been anticipating to disrupt his routine.

“why do you want to know that?”

you shrug coyly, smiling like the troublesome vixen that you are. you rather enjoy the tension that has hung in the air. if you’ve learned something from the past: men are easy to get, not easy to keep. because they relish in the chase, getting strung along like this. so, shouldn’t you have your fun too? but even if jungkook’s intentions were pure, you can only imagine that seeing someone whose life revolves around their career is… the perfect recipe for disaster.

“i think who you like also says a lot about who you are as a person.”

“i like someone who is kind and funny…” he hums in thought, unconsciously slotting a piece of strawberry in between his lips. “and passionate about the things they love… mhmm, someone who can be honest with me.”

his words form a constellation named after you, unbeknownst to you, and he wants to say more but anticipating what comes next after you connect the dots makes his stomach twist. he doesn’t feel like an adult yet. he’s still just a young boy with a gorgeous crush and high ambitions that coalesce in his dreams.

“i like someone who has a really pretty smile, too.”

and he should probably stop staring, erase the dumb lovesick smile on his face. for fuck’s sake, it would be easier for him if you would just do the same. behind the sparkles of your eyes, there is something he’s been dying to decipher.

“okay, why are you looking at me like that?”

because you are so pretty, especially when you smile.

“nothing,” he replies innocently. “you? what’s your ideal type? who do you like?”

“i don’t know… no one has captured my heart yet. they’re not trying hard enough!”

every romance you’ve had so far has been a letdown.

“but i’m still looking. i’m young, and hot, and the universe is vast.”

“mhm, i see… that’s true, but maybe… you don’t want to be looking too far.” jungkook suggests.

you smirk. “so you agree that i’m hot?”

“you know. you don’t need me to say it.” he chuckles, shaking his head.

“but i want to hear you say it.”

“you’re very beautiful, ____.”

“but that’s not-”

“the food is ready! let’s eat it before it gets cold!”

he runs to the living room without waiting for you, and you seize the opportunity to squeal without a sound, punching the counter without actually punching— releasing the giddiness threatening to spill from the seams of your heart.

you don’t know if this is heading somewhere, nor do you expect it to, but where you are right now is a good place to be.

—

the movie playing on the screen has become more of a white noise to you, a family comedy far less fascinating compared to jungkook drizzling honey over strawberries and bread from a spoon. you wonder if he is aware how often he creates sound effects while he is doing something.

beside you, his body quakes with cackles during the scenes that an editor would definitely insert the classic sound of an audience’s collective laughter and holler. you stumble upon the understanding that his happiness lies in a myriad of things, and you would envy him for it if not for the fact that he is currently sharing that happiness with you. you laugh when he laughs, and being becomes a little less heavier at that moment.

another commercial break rudely interrupts and jungkook turns towards you. the two of you sit cross-legged, knees knocking against each other as you occupy nearly the entire sofa.

“hi!”

“hi.”

“what are your plans for the holidays?”

“my best friend’s family invited me to stay with them for christmas until the new year. it’s kind of been a tradition since…”

the end of your sentence hangs suspended in the air. you still can’t say it out loud.

jungkook knows they’re gone and you’re alone: only the plain and brutal truths.

the reminder that this is the third christmas you will not spend with your family; the thought that this would be the third christmas they would spend without you if the afterlife was real— they bring tears to your eyes at once, but you forcibly blink them away, shoving enthusiasm down your throat.

“how about you?” you take a bite from your toast, attempting to divert your thoughts to… anything else. “are you coming home?”

you hide so well behind a smile. it doesn’t occur to jungkook that his question rubbed salt on an open wound.

“i miss my mom but i can’t go home yet.” he pouts. “i have work on christmas day as usual. we’ve been preparing hard for it.”

“oh, that’s right! gayo daejeon?!”

he nods in confirmation.

the music festival has been an annual event for his group since they debuted, and he never feels the need to complain because not everyone is given this kind of opportunity. what’s extraordinary for most has become his ordinary, and what was once his ordinary like everybody else’s has simply become a thing of the past. nevertheless, he does not have regrets. he is living a good life, one that he believes is his fate. as long as he has a voice and it is being heard, then his existence has meaning.

“your family will surely watch you, so they’re still celebrating it with you in a way. making them proud is the best christmas gift you can give!”

and right now, in his life, you are the cherry on top. you were so cheerful and supportive about the final shows of their tour as well, raving about how amazing it is to perform three nights in a row at gocheok skydome.

“i’ll watch you too!”

he can’t help it— you’re driving him to be better at what he does. childishly, he wants show off and be the one to capture your heart.

“ah!” he groans. “that means i should work harder at practice tomorrow! i can’t mess up infront of you and my family!”

“why not me? you want to make me proud too?” you interrogate him jokingly.

“of course, it’s my job. it’s what i do best. i’ll make you see!”

“use me as motivation then. you can’t mess up, okay? you have to do well, jungkook! you better not make a mistake! my eyes will be focused on you only!”

his face is reminiscent of a deer caught in the headlights— the headlights being your wide, threatening eyes.

he releases a shaky sigh in dramatic fashion. “i don’t feel motivated, though? i’m getting pressured?”

you wheeze; the plate over your lap tilts along with its contents.

“this is tough love!”

jungkook nearly staggers to his feet. “…love?”

you roll your eyes, small corners of your lips still cheekily lifted. “was the french toast good?”

jungkook is interrupted before he can form a response.

“but if it tastes like shit, just lie to me!”

“what are you talking about?!”

oh my god, you’re too fucking good at making him laugh.

“you’re eating it too! you know it’s delicious!”

“maybe you got a bad batch!”

—

“i’m going to the laundry shop across the street. i’ll just be a minute.” you announce, hauling a laundry basket to the living room.

your strained grunts prompt jungkook to look up from his phone, and eventually to stand up with urgency and relieve you of your heavy, heavy burden.

“shit, how heavy is this?”

you’re not given a chance to protest as the basket is immediately stolen from your grasp; your lips part open but no words come out.

“i’ll come with you!”

“well, hopefully not more than twelve kilos.”

it’s definitely heavier than usual; mainly comprised of the thick and layered clothes you’ve been wearing to shield yourself from the unforgiving cold.

“let’s go.”

jungkook wraps his hand around your wrist, gently tugging. the butterflies in your stomach wakes up earlier than spring’s arrival.

“this thing is bigger than you.”

an extremely obvious exaggeration.

“i’ll be the one to carry it.“

—

jungkook wears a cap and a face mask underneath his hoodie, eyes barely even visible in his all-black getup for the public to see; and somehow you also find yourself with a scarf around your neck, pulled up over the bridge of your nose.

when the year 2017 rolled in, you predicted that more crazy, life-altering stuff would happen. it has been an on-going theme, a relentless domino effect that has brought you to your knees time and time again. but you never would’ve fucking imagined that this is how you would be wrapping it up. how the hell did you cross paths with a famous idol, and why is he carrying your laundry basket right now?

“wait here for a bit.” you bring both hands to the basket’s handles, coaxing him to let go. “i’ll just bring it inside.”

“are you only dropping it off? that’s expensive!”

“what?” you stare at him in bewilderment, not expecting him to utter such statement at all. “you’re talking like you’re not rich!”

“i’m not! and still,” jungkook becomes flustered underneath his disguise. “it’s good to be practical. anyway, we have a lot of time.”

“you sound more like a mom than my mom did.”

“shhh!” he shushes you, putting a finger over his face mask. “let’s just do your laundry ourselves.”

“why would you do laundry right now? you’re supposed to be resting in the first place!”

a tug of war ensues infront of the laundry shop. strangers doesn’t know better. you look like a married couple bickering over who should take responsibility of the chore.

“____, just let me, mhm? i’m a pro at doing laundry too! we’ll be done before you know it!”

“how are you good at everything? honestly, it sounds like a scam!”

“how dare you doubt me?” he gasps in offense. “i do my own laundry!”

“seriously?” you quirk an eyebrow.

“i’m serious!”

“i don’t think i believe you, though…”

“if you search online, you-” your voice echoes in his mind, and subsequently, jungkook cuts himself off.

‘it feels like cheating on a test. it’s more fun learning about you from you.’

“oh, nevermind. let’s go inside already. i’m freezing!”

“jungkook!” you whine, stomping your feet on the ground as you refuse to let go of the basket despite jungkook beginning to head inside.

“why?” he copies the childishness of your tone, and although you can’t see his face, the crinkles at the corners of his eyes tell you enough.

“we can’t…”

the adorable sight of you appearing to be so shy is foreign to him. he can’t help but to chuckle. “why not?”

your lips form a pout.

“my panties…”

you bring a finger to point at the basket.

“they’re in there too… i was only going to drop them off today because you came with me…”

“ah…” jungkook awkwardly freezes, unblinking. “wait, you’re right?”

why didn’t he think of that? he’s a fucking idiot. of fucking course. what if you take things the wrong way and you’re creeped out by him now?!

“fuck, sorry. i’m sorry. i wasn’t- um, i swear i wasn’t trying to…”

his tongue becomes tied, struggling to search for the words that won’t make him sound like a damn pervert.

yeah, way to go, jungkook. you’re not the fucking boyfriend yet and you’re ruining your chances.

“did i make you uncomfortable? i’m sorry. it probably looked li-”

“hey, breathe, calm down. it’s alright, jungkook.”

you giggle in amusement, placing a hand over his chest— his heart. it’s meant to ease him, but the knowledge that you’re feeling his racing heartbeat only causes it to further intensify. he swallows the lump in his throat, dumbfounded by the turn of events. he wants the ground to swallow him whole, but he also wants to stay in this moment a little while longer.

“it’s alright. i’ll go bring this inside then i’ll treat you to lunch at the restaurant over there! don’t run away from me, okay?”

—

“the yukgaejang looks good.” you utter absentmindedly, admiring the spicy beef soup with plentiful vegetables from afar. “i’m jealous of you.”

the other tables are already having a feast while you and jungkook are waiting for your take-out to be prepared.

“then you should’ve ordered it too.” jungkook scolds you lightheartedly. “should i go?”

“no! i’m not good with spicy food. spice makes me cry.”

he smiles softly. once again, you complete the picture from his eyes. “what is there to frown so sadly about?”

“i feel like i’m missing out.” you complain, the pout on your face almost permanent. “spicy food is like one of the trademarks of korea, you know? but i can’t handle it!”

“so cute…” jungkook has decided to give in to his impulses, it seems— the evidence is him pinching your cheek for the very first time, and with the discovery of its delightsome softness, it will definitely not be the last.

“oh, oh, oh! an eyelash!”

his doe eyes glisten with pure wonder and excitement, and the air in your lungs becomes suspended when his hand moves to tenderly cup the side of your face. as he is absorbed in capturing the tiny eyelash that has fallen and glued itself on your cheek, your mind reels with the size of his hand, the sensation of his innocent touch against your neck.

“aaand-” jungkook takes your hand, passing on the eyelash to your index finger. “there you go. make a wish!”

your eyes flicker down, and none of you speaks for a moment or two.

a wish…?

what does one wish for when they have given up on wishing for miracles?

“did you do it?”

you peek at jungkook, nodding. at last, you blow the eyelash away, outside the window, where it becomes one with the snowflakes that came from the same sky where wishes are supposedly granted.

“what did you wish for?”

“i’ll tell you when it comes true.”

—

jungkook eats so well— you feel full just by watching him eat. so when he asked you, eyebrows knitted and legs bouncing, if he could have more rice, you were left with no choice but to plug in the rice cooker for the second time today. you cooked only enough for two meals today: brunch and dinner for one. you’re more than happy to have given him the dinner portion. you like that your apartment is providing warmth for another soul, despite the old times that it housed ones that ended up haunting you.

“are there any more chores to do? while we wait for the rice?”

you gaze switches from him to the living room.

the boy who was knocking at your door is now vacuuming your floors.

you sit on the couch with your legs hugged to your chest, chin propped on your knees. an unexplainable feeling swims in your chest, but your heart calls to welcome it. not to be delusional, but technically, isn’t this a marriage proposal?

it falls on dear ears— the infuriating sound of the cheap vacuum cleaner your landlord lended you and never came back for. underneath it is jungkook’s mellifluous voice, humming and singing, and it’s all you can hear.

the only use you knew of honey is the magic it does with tea for a sore throat. when you learned about his demanding occupation, he is all you can think of in relation to the elixir. since then, you’ve been taking the god awful amount of honey your pesky neighbor provides without any complaints.

this is nice… this is good. you are glad that you opened the door.

—

after a hearty and satisfying meal, you and jungkook retired to your previous spots infront of the television screen. more of the snacks he bought for you ended up being shared. near your stacks of books are colorful food wrappers and half-empty glasses of water. two mediocre yet entertaining movies later, you tell jungkook that you should pick up your laundry before the shop closes in an hour. however, after he has excused himself to the bathroom, he is greeted by the sight of you peacefully asleep on the sofa.

once more, a new side of you is laid bare, and his affection grows. he doesn’t know when he can admire your face this close again without melting from your stare.

heedful of disturbing your much deserved rest, he carefully places a pillow beneath your head, and he pulls down the blanket you’re wrapped in to cover your cold feet.

with one last stolen glimpse, he grabs your key and receipt from the bowl and leaves.

—

“is it time for you to leave?” you delicately rub at your eyes that are still half-closed; voice quiet, barely there.

you were awoken by the front door opening and closing, but nothing has quite registered to your fuzzy brain yet, except for the coat that you neatly kept and is already re-worn by its owner.

and he knows you’re most probably just sleepy, but the way you’re gazing at him as if you’re sad to see him go makes his heart clench.

“no, i picked up your laundry.” he enlightens you, consciously speaking with refined tenderness, as to preserve the serenity that has enveloped the atmosphere. “i can stay until eight. is that okay?”

you release a weary sigh, nodding. “of course… and you’re such a nice friend, thank you.”

he plops down on the sofa, filling the jungkook-shaped space beside you.

tired… you’re so tired… despite the given privilege to finally sleep to your heart’s content, you’re still so tired. your forehead lands softly on his shoulder, and unbeknownst to you due to your stupor, jungkook’s breath hitches— the polar opposite of the steady rise and fall of your chest. you make him swoon. he deliberately ignores the fact that you just called him a friend.

you peer down at the floor, past the curtain of your disheveled hair, slowly blinking. those ridiculous toe socks… you giggle in secret.

“jungkook?”

“yes?”

“are you cold?”

“freezing.”

you lift your head and he knows— you have to be playing games with his heart, bringing the temptation to kiss you so painfully close. “do you want some tea?”

—

the performance has commenced but the passionate screams of the audience still rings in jungkook’s ears as he runs backstage, chased by the staff attempting to wipe the sweat he is practically bathing in. he squeezes one eye shut as beads of sweat threaten to enter it. his chest heaves with exhaustion and his heart pumps with overwhelming adrenaline. most of the time, this job doesn’t feel real. he feels high. this is the textbook definition of a dream.

“where’s my phone? please? does anyone have it?” he yells in the midst of the chaos and clamor as he completely strips off his in-ears.

a hand reaches towards him with the device, and his expression of gratitude gets lost somewhere among the repetitive reminders of the remaining time before they should have returned to their designated seats.

he allows the hair and make-up stylists to do their jobs, him as their doll in need of a retouch. on the other hand, he impatiently waits for his phone to power on.

the tapping of jungkook’s foot ceases, and from his glowing reflection on the vanity mirror, the clueless people surrounding him witnesses love strike.

guess my eyelash wish worked like a charm. your performances went really well

and you looked so cool on stage ☺️

merry christmas jungkook ❤️

“jungkook-ah, what are you smiling at?!”

seokjin cackles. jungkook didn’t even notice him roll his chair so close. he then decides to play dumb to tease their youngest one.

“wow, who is this ____ you’re texting?”

“hyung!” jungkook panics, hissing underneath his breath. “lower your voice!”

“ouch!” seokjin yells, rubbing his arm that was hit as a punishment.

he allows a moment of silence.

his expression goes blank and he avenges himself.

“ah!” jungkook gasps as the slap on his thigh resonates, forced to be ripped away from overthinking a text message. “hyung! you better start running!”

Draft: i know it’s late.. but can i see you later?|

—

taglist in the reblogs! send an ask/dm if you want to be added (or removed) :D

—

[dewdropdeku]

armin has a crush on you

↳ armin arlert x gn!reader

↳ genre: fluff, modern!au, slight college!au

↳ w.c: 1.2k

↳ warnings: none

↳ a/n: this is the first time posting any sort of fic writing so i hope you enjoy! (criticism is appreciated but pls don’t be mean)! also, i use "reader" as a placeholder name rather than "y/n".

↳ not proofread/edited!

ok first of all armin best boy

i feel like armin’s the type to know how he feels but not necessarily know how to actually tell you

y’all probably share a few gen ed classes

maybe you were introduced by a mutual friend

like one day your friend mikasa invites you to study with her and armin and from then on you guys start to hang out together

is touched when you invite him to study with your friends

and when he gets there to the library and you wave him over to your table he probably goes to sit in the chair opposite you but you grab his wrist and encourage him to sit next to you so he takes an extra long time getting his stuff out of his bag bc he’s trying to hide the blush on his cheeks and ears

after studying at the library your friends are going out to eat but he doesn’t wanna intrude on like casual friend time so he says he has to continue working on stuff and starts heading home

armin is kinda surprised when you jog up next to him as he walks to his dorm once you say goodbye to your friends bc you’re “tired and want a nap”

you look over at him and smile and ask if you can join him

and he’s like,,, “i’m just gonna be working on some stuff it’ll be boring to hang out with me. didn’t you tell them you’re tired? you should rest” but rly he’s nervous bc he wasn’t actually planning on working on stuff he just didn’t wanna intrude in your friend group

and you’re like,,, “no it’s okay i just said that…” you kinda trail off bc how do you tell your crush you just blew off the chance to hang out with friends for the chance to hang out with him. “i can just keep you company while you work”

cue blushy min but who is he to say no really

so you walk together to his dorm and while he sets his stuff out on his desk he tells you to make yourself comfy

so you jump on his bed and take out a book

he gets butterflies~~ when he notices it’s one he recommended to you

actually melted when you asked him for book recommendations by the way

and when you fall asleep on his bed armin thinks he might just die

pulls a blanket over you and lets you sleep while he works or reads to watches netflix or smtg

when you wake up all flustered and embarrassed he brushes it off with smtg like “guess you were tired after all” but on the inside he thinks it’s so cute omg bye

oh backtracking to books!!!1!!1!1! if you ever offered book recs to him he would short circuit i think

pls could you image “armin! i read this book recently and i think you’d really like it here take my copy i hope you enjoy!”

he would combust bye

anyway after a while of you kinda inviting yourself to hang out/study with him often eventually he actually expects you to come w him/meet him/hang out with him

“aren’t you coming?”

“oh, i thought you were gonna hang out with eren, i was just heading home”

“eren doesn’t care, come with me”

now it’s your turn to blush omg

after a while of y’all hanging out regularly he feels himself get more and more comfortable talking to you and not so nervous all the time

probably finds it attractive when you are genuinely interested in what he has to say so if he rambles pls smile and nod and rest your chin on your hand dreamily

so when he realizes he’s rambling and he notices he gets embarrassed and is like “sorry,,, i was rambling, wasn’t i?”

you can respond with a smile and reassure him you like listening/are interested and encourage him to keep going

and he’ll look bashful on the outside

probably scratch the back of his head/neck and avoid eye contact

but is internally excited that you wanna listen so he does continue

he’d be so touched if you ASkeD quEstiONS bc like,,,, that tells him you’re actually listening and not just letting him talk absentmindedly

i can see it now; armin texts you to confirm that your weekly study date is still on and you respond with “actually,, i wanted to go see this new movie with this guy i like,,, rain check”

and he gets rly sad omg like his chest tightens up and he goes “oh. ok, have fun!”

but then the next day eren’s like,,, cmon man no use in moping around get dressed and armin is like

no disrespect bro,,,, but stfu and leave me alone thanks haha lol

but after a while he does get dressed begrudgingly and then a few minutes later there’s a knock on the door and eren gets a text and looks up from his phone w like a grimace or some shit and he’s like,,,, “oh shit,,, armin,,, dude,,, i forgot i had plans” and armin’s like

(ಠ_ಠ) you made me get dressed,,,, while i was brooding,,, for nothing

and then eren opens the door and looks apologetically at armin and he’s like “i’t’s okay reader’s great company” and that’s when armin notices it was you who knocked on the door

and you smile at him and he’s now starting to put two and two together as eren slips by you and shouts a farewell down the hall and when you smile at him nervously and wave two movie tickets as a greeting he realises that no he wasn’t reading the signs wrong, and yes you do like him back (he’s a Smart Boy) and when you’re like,,,, “so,, you are free, right?”

and he’s like “........you could’ve just asked me to see a movie with you” and he mumbles the next bit but you still hear and it makes you blush “instead of making me think all jealous and mopey thinking you liked someone else”

in conclusion yes he has a fat crush but yes you’d have to make the first move bc he would Not Know How

but you absolutely have a cute dinner+movie+walk in the park date that definitely ends with a kiss and both of y’all not being able to fall asleep bc the matching face-splitting grins are too distracting

like you both just sit in your respective beds for hours that night staring at the ceiling and probably eren and mikasa and sasha and connie are all giggling deviously over mikasa’s phone after you text her that the plan worked lmao and he kissed you goodnight and omg mika he’s so cute and sweet and it was such a good date and dsfjsnjfgijf

and when armin notices a sticky note on his computer monitor from eren that reads “took you long enough” he may or may not shake his head fondly at his best friend’s antics except he’s got a blush on his cheeks bye

and if you wake up to a “good morning❤️” text from him and your heart explodes who’s gonna know

thanks for reading!! 

[buferfliz]

Forever by Your Side

So I came up with the idea to write some winter/holiday themed fluffy stories for my favorite Haikyuu guys. I’ve finished three lol. Anyways this one should have been posted around Christmas, oops. The other two should have as well honestly but oh well. So I hope you like this one. :)

I made the banner, i think it came out pretty good.

Warnings: Not much, mild language, slightly suggestive in one part, sappy fluffy fluff

Word Count: 3173

         You walk into the gym and spot your boyfriend in the midst of a conversation with Kuroo and Akaashi. You make your way over to them.

         “Are you sure you can pull it off?” Kuroo teasingly asks with a chuckle.        

         “What? Of course I can Kuroo.”

         “Are you sure that you’re ready Bokuto?”

         “Yes Akaashi. I’ve been ready since last year. I only waited because of what you said.”

         “Show me it then. I want to see it.” Kuroo adds.

         “I’ll show you later.”

         “Show him what?” You question as you reach the group of men.

         “Hey hey hey, baby owl!” Bokuto enthusiastically shouts before wrapping his arms around you and lifting you up off of the ground in a bear hug.

         “Hi Ko baby.” You laugh as you are once again struck by just how enthusiastic he can be.

         You give him a peck on the lips. He places you back onto the ground but keeps an arm around your waist.

         “So what are you going to show him?”

         “My sweet new cut shot. I’m going to blow it right past this rooster cat.” He points at Kuroo with a smug grin.

         “Bokuto, this is serious.” Akaashi says causing Bokuto to look at him.

         “Relax Akaashi.” He turns his attention back to you. “Ignore him baby owl, he thinks he’s my mom now.”

         “Look all I’m saying is that you better be sure that you’re ready or you’ll end up getting hurt.”

         “Ok mom.” Bokuto snorts.

         “I think Akaashi is just being a concerned friend Ko baby. I don’t want you to hurt yourself either.”

         “Don’t worry about it.” He gives you a kiss on the cheek. “Like I said, I’ve been ready.”

He gives you a happy smile before giving Akaashi a meaningful look.

“Ok but promise me that you won’t push yourself too hard.”

“I promise my baby owl.”

You give him another peck on the lips.

“Good luck Ko!” You say cheerily before turning to head towards the stands.

“Hey hey hey, isn’t my girlfriend amazing Akaashi?”

“Yes Bokuto.”

“Ugh. Can we just start the game?” Kuroo says as the three of them head onto the court.

You laugh to yourself at their exchange and head to your usual seat in the front row.

  The game was going great, Fukurodani had won the first set and were leading halfway through the second. Bokuto was in fine form, nailing his line shots and cross court shots alike. He was on fire. And then Kuroo blocked his spike, resulting in a point for Nekoma. That was the first of several blocks that Kuroo made against him and it resulted in a down turn to Bokuto’s mood.

You watch as his shoulders slump and he looks down at the floor. Nekoma had ended up taking the second set and now in the third the score was close.

“Don’t send me the ball anymore Akaashi!” Bokuto shouts.

You look at Akaashi and see him sigh as if saying here we go again.

The coach calls a time out and a dejected Bokuto makes his way over to the bench. You hated seeing him sad, even if it didn’t usually last long, and you wanted to cheer him back up.

“Hey Akaashi!” You call from your place in the front row.

He looks over to you.

“Isn’t my boyfriend amazing?” You enthusiastically shout gaining the attention of everyone around you.

Bokuto perks his head up and looks in your direction.

“Yes he is.” Akaashi laughs.

“That’s right he is!”

Bokuto looks from you to Akaashi and back to you.

“That’s my Ko baby! Not only is he the best ace there is but he’s the greatest boyfriend ever!”

He smiles at you, his mood instantly perking back up.

“Now go show me that sweet cut shot that you were talking about baby!”

“Hey hey hey, you got it my baby owl!” He cheerily calls to you before going back to his position on the court with a renewed bounce in his step.

The coach turns and looks at you.

“I’m sorry coach.” You smile sheepishly for having disrupted things.

“Don’t apologize. I might have to make you our manager so you can sit on the bench with us.”

“That would be fine with me.” You laugh.

“Good to know.” The coach says before turning his attention back to the game.

  In the end, Fukurodani won the game with Bokuto’s cut shot giving them the game winning point.

Now you were standing outside the locker room waiting for your boyfriend to come out. You decide to play a game on your phone while you wait and end up getting startled when you hear a voice next to you.

“I wanted to thank you for earlier.”

You jump slightly and look in the direction of the voice.

“Oh shit Akaashi! Sorry I didn’t notice you came out.”

“No it’s ok. I apologize for startling you.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s my fault for being too focused on this game.” You put your phone away. “So what are you thanking me for?”

“For getting Bokuto out of his mood earlier. It might have been the shortest one yet thanks to you cheering him up.”

“Oh that? You don’t need to thank me for that. I hate seeing Ko sad and I just wanted to cheer him up in any way that I could. I’m glad I was able to help him.” You say with a smile.

“Well I know that Bokuto can be a handful to look after. You must really love him to be willing to put up with him and his mood swings.”

“I do. I love him more than anything Akaashi. I know people look at us and think that we’re stupid for moving so fast. Already living together when we’ve only been together for a year and a half but I don’t see it like that. I love him, he makes me happy, and it feels right to me.”

“Hm, well I guess I shouldn’t worry about him then.”

“That’s not true. He’s your friend, of course you should worry about him. But the one thing that you don’t have to worry about is me breaking his heart, I could never do that.” You smile sincerely.

Akaashi returns your smile and is about to say something else when he’s interrupted.

“Shut up Kuroo.”

You and Akaashi both turn your heads in the direction of the voice. You see Bokuto and Kuroo exit the locker room.

Bokuto spots you and goes running over.

“Hey baby owl! I missed you!” He kisses your cheek before lifting you up into another bear hug making you laugh.

“I missed you too baby.”

“You guys just saw each other twenty minutes ago.” Kuroo says while shaking his head at the two of you.

“Don’t be jealous bro.” Bokuto says to him as he drapes his arm around your shoulders and pulls you to him.

Kuroo just sighs and shakes his head once more.

  You say goodbye to Kuroo and Akaashi and then head off campus, Bokuto’s arm still around you.

“Should we get something to eat before we head home baby owl?”

“Sounds good. Where do you want to go?”

“How about the barbecue place near our apartment? I love that it’s our apartment.”

“So do I, baby. The barbecue place sounds great, let’s go.”

Bokuto gives you an adoring smile and then kisses your temple as the two of you make your way to the restaurant.

  Stepping out of the restaurant and into the chilly night air, you grab onto Bokuto’s arm and begin walking the two blocks to your shared apartment.

You look at him and smile affectionately. This would be your first Christmas together under the same roof after moving in together over the summer. Your family thought you were crazy to move in with a guy that you’d only been with for a year and a half. You haven’t even graduated from college yet, they told you but you knew that it was the right decision for you. What difference did it make that you hadn’t graduated yet? You were in your fourth year now so it would happen soon enough and these past few months of living together had been some of the best of your life.

Bokuto was always so happy and cheerful, he never let things get him down for too long. He was always so loving and supportive with you, always there when you needed him. You appreciated him more than he could know. He was your ray of sunshine that could cut through even the gloomiest of days and warm you right up. Just being near him made you happy and you loved him to the moon and back.

You hold his arm closer and snuggle up to him as you round the corner.

“Hey Ko baby? When do you want to get a tree? Christmas will be here before we know it.” You look up at him.

“How about now?”

You furrow your brow.

“Now?” You follow his gaze and see what he’s looking at.

A small tree lot stands just a few yards away.

“Oh. Are you sure you want to get it now?”

“Yeah, I can just carry it home since we’re around the corner.”

“I don’t know. I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

“I won’t, I promise.” He gives you a goofy grin. “Come on, let’s go pick one out!” He says excitedly as he heads for the lot with you in tow.

  After about twenty minutes of looking, Bokuto pulls out a tree roughly the same size as him and declares it the winner,

“This is it. This is the one.”

“Are you sure it’s not too big?”

“Nope it’s perfect!”

“Alright love, do you want me to help you carry it?”

“I got this baby owl, no worries, it’ll be a piece of cake.”

After paying the man for the tree, he picks it up and starts heading around the corner to your apartment.

  As it turns out, it was not exactly a piece of cake.

It’s not that Bokuto was having problems carrying the tree, because with his hot muscular body he was not, but maneuvering it was proving to be quite the task.

With an elevator that had been out of service since you moved in, you had no choice but to climb the stairs to your third floor apartment which you were currently trying to do.

Bang.

The tree hits the wall in the fairly narrow stairwell as Bokuto turns with it to go from one flight of stairs to the next.

“Oops.” He continues up the stairs and turns to go up to the next flight.

Bang.

The tree ends up banging into the wall once again and this time an audible crack is heard. A small branch near the bottom is now bent at an odd angle.

“Crap.”

“It’s ok baby, it’s just cracked a bit. It’s fine. Do you want me to help you navigate it?”

“No, I got it.” He continues on up the stairs to the next turn.

Bang.

The tree bangs into the wall once more and this time a crack followed by a thud is heard. One of the branches had broken off and fallen onto the landing.

“Damn it!”

You can see him getting frustrated and you know that unless you step in now, things are going to go downhill fast.

“Baby, I know you’re strong and you don’t need my help but I know it can’t be easy to see in front of the tree, I can’t see at all. How about you let me guide it for you? We’re almost there.”

Bokuto makes a face but nods.

“Ok, it is a little hard to see in front of the tree.” He says before adding a bit sadly, “but what about the branch?”

“Oh don’t worry about that. We were going to have to face some side of the tree against the wall, now we won’t have to worry about deciding which one.” You smile. “Come on my strong sexy man, let’s get this upstairs so we can decorate it. We’re going to have so much fun!”

He smiles adoringly at you as his previously sliding mood is restored to normal.

“Yeah we are! Ok, let’s get this upstairs. Lead the way baby owl, hey hey hey!”

   You finish securing the tree into its stand as Bokuto holds it steady.

“Done.”

You get up and stand back to look at it.

“You’re right, it is perfect.”

You smile and wrap your arms around his waist before going onto your tiptoes. He bends down and meets your lips with his own in a sweet kiss.

“I love you baby owl.”

“I love you too Ko.” You hug him. “Are you ready to decorate it?”

“You know it!”

“Good. Can you get the box of decorations out of the closet? It’s too heavy for me.”

“Leave it to your strong sexy man.” He smirks.

You smile at his words.

“Thanks baby. Do you want something to drink? Eggnog or something?”

“Are you trying to get me drunk so you can take advantage of me? Because you don’t need to, you can take advantage of me whenever you want.”

“Ooh I might have to take you up on that offer later.” You laugh. “It’s not the alcoholic kind though.”

Bokuto laughs.

“Oh ok, I’ll take some anyway.” He pecks your lips and heads off to get the decorations.

  You come out with two glasses and place them on the table as you admire your view of Bokuto bending over and pulling decorations out from the box.

“Damn, that’s one fine ass.” You say as you grab a handful.

Bokuto lets out a sexy chuckle and stands up to face you.

“If you keep that up, this tree won’t be getting decorated any time soon.”

He smirks and puts his hands on your ass, lifting you up to his level. You wrap your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist as he kisses you passionately.

You break the kiss when you start becoming breathless and look into his eyes.

“Stop tempting me Ko, we can save this for later. Right now we have some decorating to do.”

He lets out a groan but reluctantly puts you down.

“Ok fine, but you aren’t going to get away later.”

“Who says I’ll want to?” You say with a chuckle.

You both smile at each other and begin pulling out and untangling Christmas lights.

  Bokuto finishes adding the second strand of lights to the tree when you come across the tinsel.

A mischievous smile spreads across your face and you grab some and proceed to throw it on your boyfriend. He stops what he’s doing and turns to face you, tinsel caught on the spikes of his hair and dangling in his face.

You burst out in a fit of laughter at the scene.

“Oh you think that’s funny, do you?”

You try to hold back your laughter as you shake your head no but fail miserably. You burst into another fit of giggles.

“Oh, you’re in trouble now.” Bokuto says as he grabs a fistful of the silver strands and throws it on you. The two of you laugh as a tinsel battle breaks out.

When you are finally finished, you’re both covered in tinsel. You more so than him. He pulls some off of himself and adds it to the impressive amount that you’re already wearing.

“Ok we should really try decorating the tree now.”

Bokuto lets out a devious chuckle before grabbing a string of lights and proceeding to wind them around you.

“Hey what are you doing?”

“Decorating.” He smirks.

He grabs a rope of garland next and winds that around you as well.

“Ko.”

“Hey you were the one who started decorating me instead of the tree baby owl. You look so pretty in your tinsel that I thought I’d add a few more decorations.”

You roll your eyes but end up laughing at his antics. His enthusiasm was infectious and you couldn’t get mad at him for having a good time, you were enjoying yourself just as much.

Bokuto hangs some ornaments from the lights and garland wrapped around you and then puts the star tree topper on your head. He steps back and admires his handiwork.

“You’re beautiful. Prettier than any Christmas tree could ever be.” He takes his phone out and snaps a few pictures.

“Are you done now?” You ask with a tender smile.

“Hmm.” He looks you over once more. “Maybe one more thing.”

“Ko, I can hardly move. What else could you possibly add?”

He gives you a sly grin before disappearing somewhere behind you.

You try to turn to face the direction he went, trying not to trip when you feel his warm slightly rough hand grab ahold of your own.

You feel him slide something onto your finger before letting go and standing in front of you.

“Now it’s perfect.”

You furrow your brow and manage to lift that hand to your face. What you see there makes your mouth drop open.

“Ko, what are…” You trail off as you look at Bokuto only to find him on one knee in front of you.

He takes your left hand and places a kiss to the back of it. He keeps ahold of it.

“I was going to do this a year ago but Akaashi told me that I shouldn’t rush into this so I listened to him. But I was ready then and I’m still ready now. Nothing has changed. I still love you more than anything and I still want to spend forever by your side. Nobody gets me like you do, nobody makes me as happy as you do, and nobody makes me feel as loved as you do, no matter what I might say or do. I know there’s no one else in the world that I want to love and to have love me. Will you marry me my baby owl?”

“Yes Ko! I want to be by your side always! I love you more than words can express!” You excitedly reply.

Bokuto jumps up and wraps his arms around you. He picks you up in a bear hug and spins you around, pure joy and excitement on his face, before eagerly kissing you.

“You don’t know how happy you’ve made me baby owl!”

“And you don’t know how happy you always make me Ko baby.”

You happily smile at each other as he lowers you back onto the ground.

“We have to call and tell Akaashi! I told him I was sure.”

“Ok we can call him. But first can we maybe take these decorations off of me?”

“I suppose.” Bokuto laughs.

He gives you another loving kiss before removing all the decorations from your body.

Well, all of the decorations except for the most important one.

[potaetaezz]

|| Sweet Like Coffee || 15

prev << >> next

pairing: Nct Dream x Reader  [female]

genre/au: fluff | angst | enemies to lovers | Everyone is just a clueless bunch of weirdos, you get the drill… or so you thought.

warnings: slight swearing, immature content, underage drinking

A/N: its’s my first fanfic so no judgment lol | Longer Chp | here we go~

_____________________________________

You read the words over and over again until you couldn’t bear it. But your eyes wouldn’t leave the screen. Embarrassment kissed a blush to your cheeks. How could you ever face him again, after that? You didn’t even want to try and understand your meaning, your mentality. You just wanted to forget it, forget your words. The words that weren’t even true, you knew, you hoped. 

Your confidence to say those words surprised you, but still, you’d give anything to take them back. The worst part of it all was knowing that he saw it. There was no hoping he didn’t, or praying he had his phone off. He saw it. He knew. And you couldn’t take that back. The embarrassment, the humiliation, you couldn’t stop them from overpowering you. At that moment you wanted nothing more than to hide in a pile of blankets, bury yourself in a book, and escape reality.

A grunt from Lila tore your eyes away.

“What’s that?” She was staring right at your phone, right at his name. 

You dropped it onto the bed, “Uhh nothing.”

“Did I just see Jaemin’s name on your phone?”

“No. Nope.”

“Did it just read ‘I miss you’?” 

“Don’t think so…”

“Y/n….”

“Well, you kissed Haechan!” It was the only thing you could think of. 

“What’re you on about?” Her voice up an octave. You could see her smile building. 

“What the fuck did we do last night.” She held her face in her hands, laughing. Or crying. Maybe both. She must’ve been confused as well. She peered through her fingers to look at you.

“You’re situation is still worse.” 

“No shit Sherlock.” You joined in on the laugh.

You took out your phone again, reluctantly. Your eyes caught glimpse of your words once again before you pressed ‘delete’. You needed to forget. Perhaps the more you looked at it, the greater the chance you might trick yourself into believing it, believing the words. Maybe the more you read it, the easier it was to fall for your hearts trick. 

“Just try to forget about it.” Lila said.

“I will.”

———

Monday [2:11pm]

It was safe to say, you didn’t forget about it, any of it. It rung inside your ears daily. You suffocated in the memory of your words, in his response - silence. There was no point in telling Renjun because nothing could save you from that, nothing could bring you back. It was your own mistake, your own humiliation, and you had to deal with it. That was the first day you were glad Jaemin wasn’t in. You were glad you didn’t hear him run in late for class, or catch his eye in the hall. You were grateful you didn’t see him. It allowed you to relax.

“Hello? Earth to y/n” Renjun said whilst waving a hand in front of your face.

He pulled you back from your daydream, brought you back to reality. It was just you, Renjun and Lila sitting at the cafeteria table

“What’re you doing for tomorrow?”

“What’re happening tomorrow?” You replied. 

Renjun rolled his eyes, “Uhm your birthday.”

You never imagined you’d become so forgetful that you’d forget your own birthday. You’d probably need a Facebook reminder to remember it. Your mind has been so swamped lately. Confused and embarrassed and everything under the sun. 

“How am I the one to remember your birthday?” Renjun laughed. “So what you gonna do?”

You shrugged your shoulders, “I don’t know, nothing?” 

Renjun let out a huge sigh, shaking his head. He almost couldn’t believe it. Stuck in thought attempting to comprehend the fact that you don’t want to do something special for your birthday. To you, a birthday was just another day of the year. It would be nice to hang out with friends, sure, but you didn’t need to. You would be just as fine chilling at home.

“We’re doing something.” He slammed his hands onto the table, a fire in his eyes, “Let me plan it.”

He looked so excited, how could you say no. “Fine,” you sighed, “but I’m warning you, don’t go overboard.”

Renjun never mastered simplicity. He was always extra, in everything he did, especially when it came to planning. But you loved it anyway. 

———

Tuesday [5:48pm]

Ten said your present was on the way, but you knew he forgot. 

You were grateful for Renjun hosting your birthday party because you couldn’t imagine putting the effort into it yourself. You were worried that it would be extravagance at its finest, and you didn’t even know who was going to be there. But you were grateful nonetheless. Walking up the steps, you wondered if Jaemin knew it was your birthday, you wondered if he cared. 

But you waved that thought off fast, as the door opened for you. Renjun stood in the doorway, a birthday balloon in his hand. 

“Good evening y/n.” he smiled.

“Hello Renjun.” 

He passed you the balloon, and led you into the sitting room. 

He turned down his extravagance just for you. There were a few balloons and party decorations scattered around the room, and music softly playing in the background. You noticed Lila sitting down. And all of a sudden, it was the trio once again. Nostalgia warmed your heart. But with the addition of Jeno and Haechan who were walking in with food, lots of food.

You remembered the bet, that awful bet. But you couldn’t hate it, you didn’t regret it. If it wasn’t for the bet you would never be there. It was the bet that brought you all together, surrounded by old friends and new ones. Surrounded by friends who cared. 

There was already so much food on the table, but Haechan added delivered pizza to it anyways. Jeno was carrying drinks. There was a board game laid out on the table. 

“I know I’ve banned monopoly, but this is a special occasion,” Renjun said.

He banned monopoly for good reason too. You tend to become overly competitive when monopoly is involved, you couldn’t help it. You may have just maybe hit Renjun across the face when he cheated. He forgave you, but it took a while.

You pulled Renjun in for a hug. 

You had never appreciated him more than at that moment. You were so touched you could nearly cry. 

“Nice gesture, but I don’t feel safe around monopoly anymore.” you said as you let go. You lost control around monopoly. You couldn’t deny it.

“Oh thank god. And you don’t feel safe? I’m the one that got hit!”

“Whatever whatever, but we’re not playing Mario Kart.”

“Don’t do this to me y/n, I just got better.” Renjun began to whine.

“Mario Bros?”

“I guess it is your birthday.” He tried to pout but ended up laughing instead. “Mario Bros it  is.”

Before you could sit down to play, Jeno pulled you back by the hood.

“I didn’t forget.” he said. A book in his hand. “It’s the second part to the last one I gave you.”

“Did you underline your favourite parts?” You couldn’t help but ask.

“Only for you.”

“Thank you Jeno.”

Haechan joined in, “I didn’t know what to get you, so I got you the one thing I know you love.” He handed you a set of coffee capsules.

“But I don’t own a coffee machine…”

“Just like- just open them up? No?”

“No Haechan but thanks for the effort.”

“Anytime y/n.” He smiled that innocent smile.

Lila swore she would give you her present tomorrow, and Renjun said the party was his gift to you.

All you guys did all night was play video games, ate pizza and chilled. But it was perfect. You couldn’t have asked for anything more. It was relaxing, and casual, and just what you wanted. You doubted how well Renjun knew you.

But something strange happened when you were watching them play. 

Everyone was laughing, smiling. You joined in but something was pulling you back, isolating you. You were with everyone, but you felt alone. It was an emptiness growing inside you, harassing your emotions, pestering your mind. You tried to swallow it, but it was consuming you and your thoughts. You noticed Jaemin’s absence for the hundredth time that night, you could feel it. 

You remembered the weight of his gaze, the look in his eye. You wished to smell the amber and musk once more, or to see the curl of his smirk. You craved to see him, to feel him. His absence was becoming too much. You were remembering, wishing too much. Your mind was a mess, your smile was dismantling, and Lila was beginning to notice. Her eyes analysed you. She realised.

“Do you want a drink y/n?” she called you out.

“Sure.”

You followed her out to the kitchen, until she stopped.

“What’s up?” she asked.

“I just can’t forget about it.”

A chuckle escaped her mouth, “is that it?” She knew there was more.

You paused, hesitated, “I just can’t forget about him. Like what if it’s true? What if I miss him? Hell what if I like him? No I don’t, I can’t. I just I-“

“Stop spiralling. Breath.”

You took in some air. And then she hit you with the facts.

“You know Jaemin has a bad rep. You know he’s arrogant and cocky.”

“Jeno was like that.” you interrupted.

“But Jeno is different. Jeno has changed. Jeno didn’t disappear. You know Jaemin can be such a prick, you know that, but you don’t know much more about him.”

But she didn’t know Jaemin like you did. She didn’t know how close you two got, she didn’t know what happened. Lila didn’t feel the warmth and comfort when he wrapped his arms around you. She didn’t hear the hitch in his voice when he brought up his father. She didn’t see the vulnerability in his dark eyes when he basked beneath the moonlight. She didn’t understand.

“He’s bad news y/n, I’m saying this because I care for you. Just, try not to overthink everything, let your mind rest. He probably didn’t even take notice of the message.”

Those words hurt more than they should’ve, affected you more than they were meant to.

You took another deep breath and turned around. As you were walking back, Lila coughed, loudly. You heard a light switch click. And suddenly everything went silent. You stopped just before the door, but Lila pushed you from behind. 

The room was dark, you couldn’t see anything. A flame grew in the darkness, flickering. And that’s when you saw it. The candle, the cake, everyone.

“Happy Birthday~” they began to sing. 

You were comforted by the smiles on their faces, just by them being there. That was the first birthday where you weren’t embarrassed when everyone sang ‘happy birthday’. You had no reason to be embarrassed. You just enjoyed it. 

Soon enough Renjun was holding the cake in front of you. The flicker of the flame taunted you. So you blew it out. Darkness cascaded around you. Everyone began to cheer. 

And right there, in the midst of darkness, you made your wish.

———

The isolation you felt disappeared as you walked home. 

But still, Jaemin popped into your head, flooded it. You wondered what he was doing, who he was with. All these questions yet you knew they would never be answered. It was becoming easier to think of him, think about him. You felt your grip loosen over your control, over your power. But whilst it was getting easier to wonder about him, it was getting harder to forget. About everything.

Before you entered your apartment, you noticed something was off. Something had been shoved into your mailbox, in a rush. You walked over and attempted to pull it out, but it was stuck. By the time you got it out, the wrapping paper had been torn off.

But it revealed something beautiful.

It was a book. The book you read with Jaemin, in his library, under the light of the moon.

A flurry of memories hit you. But warmed your heart as well. He remembered. He remembered it was your birthday. He remembered what book you read. He remembered you. A sense of urgency raced through your heart. Despite his disappearance, he made sure to give you a birthday present, he tried. Your heart fluttered. A burning desire ignited inside of you. A craving that you couldn’t get rid of. You had to do something. You had to thank him. 

You started walking. You had no idea what you were going to say, but you had to say something. You had enough of his silence. Enough of his disappearance. You started to run. You forgot about your message, about his reputation. You forgot about everything, except for his face. His eyes, his smile, his hair. You had been suppressing feelings you always knew were there.

You hated Jaemin at the start, and maybe that’s why you hated your feelings. You hated that you cared, you hated how you noticed his absence, you hated how he had an effect on you. You were becoming like all the other girls, victim to his charm, fallen prey to his lure. But you didn’t care. Not anymore.

You witnessed pain on his face, you saw a part of him he kept hidden, you knew him. You were sure. He was good. You were sure. 

You could only run so far before you arrived, standing in front of his house. It was dark, but you could always spot Jaemin. Your heart warmed.

He was sitting on the steps, head in his hands, the darkness embracing him. 

You took one step closer. Still catching your breath.

He looked up, and you looked into his eyes for the first time in ages. You forgot how his features were carved by Aphrodite herself, how his eyes held all the stars in the sky. You forgot how intense his gaze was, how hard it was to hold. You forgot how good he looked. You let out a shaky sigh. He didn’t even seem surprised to see you.

“What’re you doing here?” he said. Voice empty, monotone, dead.

You just held up the book. 

“Did you think I forgot?” There was no emotion behind his words. 

“Yes.”

He looked down, letting out a soft chuckle. 

“Look, y/n, you need to go.” Whatever amusement filled his voice before was gone. 

“Where the hell have you been? What’s wrong?” you couldn’t hold back.

“You just need to leave.”

“Why?”

He stood up and began to close the space between you. 

“I don’t have to explain myself.”

“If all you were going to do was tell me to leave why’d you give me a present? Why give me this book? You knew I’d come, so why?”

There was tension strained between you both. He took one last step closer. You looked up at him. The darkness in his eyes consumed you.

“If you read it you would’ve realised. It was a goodbye gift.”

“Are you going somewhere?”

“No. But I can’t do this anymore.”

“Do what Jaemin? Make sense.”

“Your message? I can’t do that. I can’t reply to that. I know you know about the bet. That’s what this was. That’s why I kissed you. That’s why I tried. Did you really think I cared about you?”

You took a step back, shuddering at his words. He was different, he was cruel. It was becoming hard to breathe, his scent suffocating. You were drowning in your memories, in his words.

He leaned in close, so close you could almost kiss him. And he spoke in that low, husky voice:

“I told you you were going to regret this. I warned you.”

Before you could look him in the eyes, before you could respond, before you could breathe, you heard the door click. A girl came out, wearing a dress filled with roses, hair neatly did, makeup perfect. She was perfect. And she was staring right at Jaemin.

“Are you coming in?” she called out, not even sparing you a glance.

“Yeah, yeah I am.”

And he turned his back on you and he walked away. 

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a/n: Jaemin has changed, clearly. What happened to him? Who is that girl? What did he write inside the book? Hope you liked it!!

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See you soon -> Thursday 14th xx

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