#thread.alex

[mc-adarsh]

CLOSED STARTER for @alexpanganiban location: THE BEACH timestamp: EVENT 01 PART 02

Nothing so far had sparked any kind of memory.

And despite how little time had passed, Adarsh was already extremely frustrated. 

From what he knew factually - which seemed to be plenty - head injuries severe enough to completely make someone’s memory disappear - except for one name - were movie material, story material. Not real life, at least not that he seemed to recall. Not that he trusted whatever vast knowledge that he held, because it might be enough to make his way around, to give him tidbits of info when what he wanted was memories, it wasn’t substantial. It felt like he’d read an encyclopaedia one day and decided to remember only fifteen percent of it but without rhyme or reason. 

He couldn’t even tell what the name of the language he dreamt in was. 

Though that could also be withheld from him intentionally.

No, his memory loss was not… plausible from any type of injury or stress. 

It was the island’s fault. 

Yet, he continued on his quest to find memories. 

He grumbled in that damned language he couldn’t place as he made his way around the beach, looking up and down the buildings that were further away, trying to unlock something that wasn’t there. He stopped short of another figure, then looked into the water. He paused, switched his brain into English mode and grumbled, as he pointed at himself. “Do you know me?” Ignoring the flare of misery and grief that washed over him as he admitted to yet another person that he had NO / ZERO / NADA idea of who he was. 

[thevaaniiofcrirtha]

@dxmergues

Vanathi felt some freedom to do whatever she liked now that she had completely her tasks as someone who'd survived. Though she couldn't help continuing the offerings, even if it was a little much. Her plate at the cafe was doubled, one she would later throw into the fire for the ghosts of those who had passed, while she was absent-mindedly eating from the other.

With a content sigh she watched the busy cafe. All tables were taken, people were seated next to strangers, and there was a run of the mill of rumours and stories.

But for once, she didn't feel like she needed to hear about them. "I am kindly wishing for it to snow, but I suppose that might not be normal weather in Destarin," she noted to the person sitting next to her. "I'd organise a snow fight."

[little-baski]

Baskar instantly trusted Alex and his medical knowledge. Hero-worship probably, but they didn't question it too much. The wound was bandaged and they wouldn't have to bother the good doctor or walk around with a bleeding arm. They just had to make sure they didn't get stung again. But the hornets weren't here to stay right?

The buzzing was still here, but like any discomfort and pain they'd felt in their life: it was bound to ebb out.

It had to.

Despite how they didn't want to be a big kid, they couldn't help but lean into it. Their puffy eyes looking at Alex as if he could take all the pain away and fix this. He said all the right things though, what Baskar had always wanted to hear from people: to be believed and then be told that he'd done well.

And then being told that he could be of help?! Alex seemed to know exactly the way to his heart. His big eyes stared at the other. "Thank you," they said, words that meant more than just a genuine sign of gratefulness. "I'll clean up, and stay out of trouble," they promised. They looked at the bandages. "Thank you for patching me up... if... if anyone needs help with locating the hornet... uhm, I can probably point them in the right direction," they said. "I'll be here."

end.

"Gross," Alex offered to the description of the giant multi-screened hornet, because that was true enough and unlikely to cause any more upset than Baski had already suffered. And it was good to validate Baski's experience, right? That would help to soothe the tumbled feelings that accompanied the wound that Alex was tending. "There we go," he said as he finished with the actual gauze and tape, and decided to wind some bandage around it for good measure. "Try not to submerge it in water, and you'll heal up in no time, I gua-ran-tee it."

(He couldn't guarantee anything and in fact he wouldn't be salty if Baski got it re-looked at by Akhila or somebody with qualifications, but hey, some bright shining positivity in the moment helped set the patient on the road to recovery, right?)

Alex started to shuffle through the leftover supplies, gathering them into somewhat pointless heaps as he turned over Baski's information in his head. Or, well ... Baski's vague mentions of things. "Yes," Alex said gently, "it's a good guess that the giant multi-headed hornet is dangerous. You did well telling somebody about it. Don't worry about it, we'll take care of that now."

He was already starting to get distracted running through possibilities of who would be useful in this mega-hornet hunting venture, and tuned back in to Baski for a moment, giving a big, bolstering smile. "It's best if you rest up for a while, it wouldn't be great for you to jump into action and injure yourself more. Tell you what, champ--" Alex put a hand on Baski's shoulder, stooping down slightly (which wasn't strictly necessary, since they were somewhat of the same height) and saying, "--if you could tidy up these medical supplies I just used, that would be super helpful! And then get yourself some cookies and take a nap. You were an awful big help today."

[mc-adarsh]

CLOSED STARTER for @alexpanganiban location: MEDI-CENTRE timestamp: EVENT 02: PART 01: THE DRONES / PRE-DRONES ATTACK

Adarsh had managed to drag himself to the medi-centre, finding it filled with people when he claimed a spot on one of the beds, too tired to really register much of what was going on. He didn’t need medical attention, but he could use a nap and clearly his bungalow wasn’t free from being knocked into. As Akhila had already accidentally found it when in need of help for another person. Here he could rest, regain his strengths, maybe shine some more when he had the energy to flex his new power. 

He wasn’t sure how long he’d slept, but when he woke up again, the place was empty. 

He blinked awake but found no trace that anything was amiss. Else he hoped they wouldn’t have just left him to fend for himself. His head felt a lot clearer, meaning he’d gotten a few hours at least. 

Pushing himself up from the comfortable bed, he walked through the place. He couldn’t hear any buzzing nearby, or any kind of noise really. Every man for himself in this place clearly. 

His eyes shot to the door when he heard it open. 

And the sight for a moment was too much for his brain to process. He had to still be dreaming. A very good dream, definitely, but definitely dreaming. To say he hadn’t fantasised about Alex since their kiss and hot moment was an understatement. 

He was unsure where this new fantasy came from. But two Alexes certainly was something. 

“Uhm…” 

Too many errors. 

"There's two... do you need medical assistance?" He blinked again. "Either I'm seeing double or I'm still asleep. There's two of you."

[visionspiral]

Bijan smiled. “Hmm, not where I’m from,” he noted. “Maybe not a sandwich, but offering food to strangers on a day like this to start conversation, is something my mom would very much approve of,” he explained. He accepted what food was offered, taking a few of the nuts and putting some fresh fruit in his hand. 

“Of course,” he said in response. “I was merely saving them as a snack for later, but this is a good trade and still allows me plenty of food,” he explained. He shook his head at the question. “I bought them at my favourite Indian restaurant,” he said. “Possibly the best Ladoo in the city, not too cheap, but worth every bit. I usually by a little extra after I have lunch there to get me through the day,” he added. He then pointed at the dog. “What is your dog called?” he asked.

Alex pulled out a bag of pistachios as his offer was accepted by the other, handing it to him with a smile as he searched deeper on his picnic basket. "I have a sandwich somewhere in here but leading a conversation with that would've been a weird move, some dude on a bench offering a sandwich? Nightmare inducing" he jested, pulling out a bag of trail-mix and a little container with fresh fruit cut to mouth-size, offering the other some. He loved his job and the freedom it gave him when it came to his schedule; yet he sometimes missed the monotony that came with having an office job, to be able to turn off his brain for 10 hours a day and focus on getting work done, focus all his energy in doing something he seemed born to do.

As he was offered the snack the other had been saving, the author couldn't help but bow his head appreciatively "That is extremely kind of you, are you sure it's okay? If you were saving them, they were probably for a special occasion" he inquired, not wanting to overstep neither fully reject the delicious-looking snack. Still, he grabbed one of the pieces, mouth watering. "You made 'em yourself?"

[mc-adarsh]

Adarsh swallowed. He felt solid in his desire, aware of his whole body and the eagerness to be closer. Blood rushing to his head - and another body part - as Alex parted his lips, as he moved closer, their bodies connecting in all the right places, sending a shiver up his spine.

His smile was more self-assured, hungry, eager for satisfaction. 

The thought of a previous life shot through him for only a moment. Of the possibility that he was married, that someone was waiting for him. He had no wedding ring when he woke up, but he still feared being a cheater. But if he was, he was going to assume whomever he was with would understand.

Alex was all together too hot, too enticing, too appealing to ignore.

And the way he grabbed him, kissed him. 

There was no way Adarsh could stop, no way he could convince himself that he wasn’t going to absolutely do his best to make Alex wish for more.

He kissed him back, feverish as his hands found the fabric of Alex’s shirt, clawing at it to keep him closer, using the sway between them to pull Alex through the room into one of the currently unoccupied recovery rooms. He opened the door blindly and kicked it close behind him. 

Not caring to lock it.

His hands went back to Alex’s shirt, pulling at the fabric, letting his warm fingers press into flesh. If Alex had any injuries left, they would now certainly be healed. Maybe even take away some scar from youth he’d forgotten about, with Adarsh’s power completely out of his control.

Sasha was more than mollified by Adarsh's encouragement and praise for his neatnik ways, and it didn't take too much coaxing to get him going where he was needed to be. The cherry on top of this being a surefire way to grade-grub up some kudos from Akhila (which honestly, Alex couldn't so much blame Sasha for -- being the one to bring any form of pleasure to the doc really was a heady experience, he knew that personally).

By the time Adarsh was bidding good luck to Sasha on his endeavours, the dupe was already eagerly crouched down investigating the cupboard for the promised cleaning supplies and probably was none the wiser on the door being shut and lock turned on him. Alex was practically hopping on his toes by the time Adarsh got back, flush with the shared mischief for the perpetration of a different sort of mischief. Whatever healing mojo Adarsh had done on him, Alex was still feeling the syrupy-smooth heavy sultriness of it moving through his body ... and maybe Sasha was getting reverb from it? That would explain how happy he was to have tidying foisted off on it, some kind of shared soporific endorphins--

--but Adarsh's words soon distracted Alex from thinking about his duplicate completely. He gave a low, pleased laugh at that confession, letting his lips part while the other man was looking at them; his front teeth were a little prominent and younger Alex (Sasha Alex?) had been faintly self-conscious about it, but years of posing for photographs had taught him how to balance it out, allow for a soft glimpse of pink tongue as well to offset the bunny teeth.

"If there's an unsexy way to tell somebody that they've been on your mind, tiger, you skipped right over it." Alex moved onto, against Adarsh, his body thrilling at the remembered solidity of the other man, reaching almost automatically to skim the heel of his hand down Adarsh's side to his hip before he allowed himself to curl his fingers onto warm flesh as well, get a good and proper grip.

From there it took barely anything, only a tilt upwards to account for the few inches in height between them, before Alex was kissing him. Nothing gentle or searching here, either; that didn't seem to be necessary. He kissed Adarsh hard, open-mouthed, full of desire with each swipe of his tongue as Alex slung his other arm around Adarsh's neck and gripped the back of his shirt collar.

[mc-adarsh]

Adarsh could’ve lived in that moment. It was much better than anything he’d experienced on the island so far, and he wanted only this,nothing else. He didn’t want to go back to being the resident amnesiac, the one who had to question everything because there were no answers. He wanted to kiss, be kissed, to smirk at Alex’s words and find himself shudder at being called ���babe’. The other made it seem so effortless that he could almost melt into his confidence. Lean into thinking he knew what was going to happen. Even if before he’d been moments away from being taken over by unknown memories. 

The other made all the right sounds, all the right moves, their bodies pushing against each other, forcing moans and groans from his lips that he allowed to breathlessly melt together with their mouths upon each other. He found he’d stopped thinking, his mind was made up of sensations. The leanness of the other, his slightly defined muscles, warm skin. The toughness of the skin on his cheek, the curly hair, how strands of it softly moved against his fingers as he moved his hand over his cheek and to the back of his head. His grip wasn’t firm, it was still slightly nervous, keeping the both of them present, but not stuck. 

He wished he’d been more confident, as the other stopped for a moment and leaned back. The embrace between them not broken, and the dizziness that followed the heightened moments of desire still clouding Adarsh’s mind. He wanted to pull him back, to press their lips together again, to move his hips and further the feeling of satisfaction, but instead he watched with some confusion. 

“Rules?” he asked, frowning. He didn’t want there to be rules. The hand that had been in the other’s hair reached to touch his cheek again, fingers lingering down to his chin. “I don’t want there to be rules.” 

"You bet it feels good, babe," Alex said, giving a pleased sound into the kiss that followed. This guy might have led with arrogance and a language fight and then almost a real fight, but all of that, Alex had surmised and been correct about, came from fear. Alienation in not remembering who he was or knowing where he was. Being surrounded by strangers was a taxing experience (Alex knew about that very well), but not knowing who you were either, in the middle of it? Had to be a separate level of freak-out.

And when you had Big Emotions like that, it stood to reason that all of the biggies came into play. Like desire, for example, which was what Adarsh was giving himself over to now, and Alex didn't mind being the Pied Piper for this particular jaunt. It sure beat potential fistfights, and god knew the guy was easy on the eyes with that leonine mane and the flawless bone structure.

He was a pretty fucking great kisser, too.

"Favourite is a pretty high category," Alex laughed, but in the way he'd perfected for it to be an inclusive sound rather than one that made people feel mocked, a laugh that warmed up the honey-gold of his eyes and was paired with himself swaying closer to Adarsh on that tug against his waistband, and Alex matched those contented, melting sounds of wanting more as they kissed. And as it started to take a slight turn, his own grip on Adarsh's arm flexing and bearing down, the push of his hip against the other man turning more targeted, seeking certain responses and angling to elicit them.

But. But, but but.

Alex stopped after a while, feeling pleasantly fogged up, a slight strain in his pants but not much more than that -- it would be more, if they kept going, but he stopped and leaned back slightly, not breaking their clenched embrace. "Aaaaaand here's where my conscience kicks in," he said, reaching up to smooth one hand a little brusquely over Adarsh's incredible hair, grooming it into little locks with his fingertips. "I would love to take this farther. I'm a big fan of sportfucking no matter the circumstances. But the circumstance of you not knowing who you are, honey -- that's a little far to take it. There are rules about that sort of thing."

[mc-adarsh]

Adarsh had no idea what a Star Trek was, but he nodded regardless. It seemed to get Sasha going and make it all the more clear in his mind. “That and most people show little interest in helping out in a place like this,” he added. He would’ve gladly ignored Akhila’s calls for help if he hadn’t gotten this power. He’d only been to the medicentre twice before the robot hornets. “People have also been helping themselves, and who can blame them. We don’t have the capacity to be around 24/7,” he explained, hoping it would add to Sasha’s feeling of being important to this place.

“Doctor Asthana yes. I know she would be immensely grateful.” Or annoyed. He didn’t know her well enough to say whether she loved organisation or structural chaos.

Adarsh made a quick glance back at Alex, realising he was far better at this than he ought to be. Did he do this often? Back in the life he couldn’t remember. “I don’t know what half of the stuff is on the tables, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it can just be put back in the cupboards. There are some cleaning supplies under the sink, if you need them.” He paused. “I don’t want to ask too much of you.. but you know how it is: this is a hospital setting, and I am a hundred percent sure it hasn’t been cleaned since we got here.” He was certain nobody had volunteered for janitorial duty. 

Sasha asked for specifics, but was soon mesmerised by the amount of mugs. Adarsh could understand, if he hadn’t seen Akhila down mug after mug, he would’ve thought an army of nurses went through here every day.

At Alex’ cue, Adarsh considered if he should say something or just lock the door. But having Sasha frantically knocking on the wood would really spoil the mood, so he left with a. “I am sure you got this! I’ll come check on you in about an hour!” Then pulled the door closed behind him, and very quietly turned the lock on the door handle.

He waited for half a minute in case the clone suddenly realised what was happening, then he quickly stepped back towards Alex. Sasha was something but Alex made his heart race, the sight of him filled him with desire, with a longing he felt unfamiliar with yet could imagine was a regular occurrence for the person he’d been. 

“Would it be unsexy to admit that I’ve thought about you a lot since we first met?” He asked, as his fingers ran along Alex’s arms up to his shoulders. His eyes carefully studying his eyes, the shape of his jaw, and most importantly his lips.

Sasha looked up from his humming work, bright-eyed with a sunny closed-mouthed smile that seemed his automatic default setting, his hands full of items that he'd slotted between his fingers for extra multi-tasking. "Oh! Well, I'd like to be helpful," he said, bashful and pleased. "I mean, there's an awful lot to get done around here, isn't there? And not too many of us to do it, especially in-between investigating the mysteries of this place and dodging robo-hornets and wild animals and goodness knows what else. It's like an episode of Star Trek around here. Original Series," Sasha hastened to add, but then after a moment's furrowed brow, said, "...or Lower Decks, even."

Across the room, Alex shut his eyes with a curl of his lip, holding back a groan of disdain as he watched Adarsh carry on with his task. Doing an excellent job, too; Sasha was clearly susceptible to praise, if the proud set of his shoulders was any indication. Alex didn't want to think too closely on the rest of it, his own Sasha days. Stuff like that was in the past for a reason.

He hummed to himself, unaware that he'd picked up where Sasha'd left off, as his duplicate looked over towards the room where Adarsh was planning on trapping him. "Your resident doctor? Doctor Asthana? I'm not surprised she doesn't have time for that kind of thing, with everything else that's on her plate." Sasha tutted, already putting what he was holding down onto a tray and starting to ambulate. Alex clenched his fists in triumph, flashing a grin and thumbs-up at Adarsh, but hung back in case he made his dupe skittish.

"You can show me if there's anything specific that needs -- my gosh, that's a lot of dirty mugs, isn't it?" Sasha said from inside the other room, as Alex indicated frantically that now was the moment for Adarsh to lock him in.

[mc-adarsh]

Adarsh’s skin felt hot, but the good kind of hot, that bounced through his whole body. He was nervous, but he also felt like there was nothing that could pull him away from the closeness they shared. He figured he could classify it as desire. Raw need to be close to another body, to share something that would result in pleasure for two people. And Alex didn’t back away, only moved forward. It made his heart race and his mind forget they were in the middle of nowhere, on a beach, with cameras mounted all around. 

He almost couldn’t believe Alex didn’t back away, they’d been so close to blows. He’d been so close to landing a punch that would have the other gasping for breath. He knew that. He could feel that from the way his muscles had tensed. And yet the other had spinned it, leaving him dizzy with new sensations, sailing on heightened emotions that were then carefully pulled together into this. 

His heart surged. Yes, this was going just fine. As Alex moved his hand, he could feel how badly he wanted it, moving along with it, his fingers tracing skin and muscle, not just his thumb reaching below the fabric, but his whole hand, eager to feel the heat of the other’s skin against his own. His free hand reached up, nervous still, but more directed, as he cupped Alex’ cheek, eyes scanning his face for any sort of sign that this was his imagination, a cruel joke, or both. He swallowed. “This feels good,” he said, as he closed his eyes and leaned forward to kiss Alex, calloused fingers exploring as he no longer focussed on sight. 

Breaking only for a moment to hear Alex speak, he couldn’t explain how his own desires fumed at the words and the actions. A soft moan in contentment pulled from his throat. He found he didn’t have any expectations, any images of what he could possibly want, yet he felt like he wanted all of it. That however far was both a vague concept and a hard line. A desire and an expected outcome. He matched Alex’ grin, even if he felt hardly as solid and confident as the other. 

He couldn’t believe it, yet it also felt like it made sense. Him falling for this charming and incredibly sexy polyglot. Like he’d been done for the moment multiple languages came into the mix. In a way: he felt lucky. 

And along with that came the desperate need to be satisfying enough for the other that he’d be met with approval. 

He hummed, his fingers trailing along muscle from his waist to his abs down to his abdomen, then looping under the edge of his pants. “I wouldn’t mind being one of your favourite hook-ups,” he said, as he pulled on the waistband to close more distance between them. Then moved to kiss him once more, more passionately, more desperately. 

"Mmmm, see, the thing is..." Alex made a fluid shift of his hip against where Adarsh was holding him, encouraging that thumb to move higher, to skim across his bare skin as much as was needed. "If you can't remember what you like, it's easy as pie to find out again. All you have to do is try something, and if it feels good, do it again to make sure." Alex claimed another kiss, letting his lower lip linger against the other man's for a while before he broke the kiss this time. Still not moving back or away, still maintaining the heat of their bodies radiating against each other even with the ocean breeze darting and dashing around them. The wind played through the other man's dark hair, tousling it along with Alex's curls, bedhead without the benefit of the bed but evocative enough just the same.

And to think, a few moments before they'd been at each other's throats. Sometimes Alex could barely believe his own ability to charm his way out of situation through whatever means available.

"As for what to do, I think that's going just fine, don't you?" He slid his hand over Adarsh's just above his hip, into the dip of his waist with fingertips playing along the firmer definition of Alex's abs. He'd never be a wall of rippling muscle, but he did good, if Alex said so himself; a serviceable and pleasing body, one that did what he wanted it to and had heft in the places that gave him substance, was lean in the places where clothes looked great when they were on and just as good when they were off.

"However far you wanna go, I'm a great one for travel. And it's okay if you don't remember your name just yet. You can just tell me what you want me to call you." Alex grinned suddenly, dropping his other hand to Adarsh's sturdy thigh, dragging his fingers up the thick muscle there. "Some of my favourite hookups were with people whose names I never knew."

[mc-adarsh]

He didn’t understand why Alex broke off the kiss, felt himself leaning forward a bit more to try and regain it. But instead he shook with the memory of it. The warm feeling of the other’s tongue against his, the touch of his nose against skin, the final touch before the goodbye. He felt like he was under some kind of spell, his body felt flushed with nervous energy. Because he did realise he was nervous, too many thoughts spilling out when their lips were no longer touching. 

He wondered if he had a wife - or a partner of any other gender - waiting for him, if this was considered cheating when he didn’t know. He worried he was being unfair to someone who he didn’t know existed, or if he would be unfair to himself if he didn’t try to figure this out. Alex’s words resonated with him. A way to remember himself, and what he could do, and what he liked. After all, he did have facts, not memories, but facts. He did do things based on memories he didn’t have. He wanted to know: was he a selfish lover or generous in wanting to satisfy the other person in the physical act? He wanted to know: did he fall in love easily or did he understand when something was just physical? He wanted to know if he was new to this, with another male. What if he’d been closeted before? If he’d been in a situation where he hadn’t ever given in to making love to someone of the same sex? Would it be so wrong to give into that? Was it wishful thinking to want that to be true just to deal with the emotions of the possibility of betraying someone he who he didn’t remember loved? 

Alex’s hip against his hand, the muscle there, the touch of the fabric that with a single stroke of his finger could be pushed aside so he would have the ability to caress his skin… was it wishful thinking too that Alex wanted any of that from him? 

He’d seen the people on this beach, they were all incredibly beautiful. And then there was him. 

Or perhaps the other liked the idea of someone who didn’t know who he was. Someone who might surprise the both of them. 

His eyes were filled with desire. “What I like,” he echoed. Because he had liked Alex, before the kiss. He was surprised he liked him in this way. “What if it turns out I can’t remember?” he asked, as his thumb did brush Alex’ shirt up, his fingers searching for naked skin. “And I don’t know what to do?” to you, was left out. Did it matter to Alex? Did it matter to him? Or did he just want that sweet release that came with physical desire? A way to forget his struggles or to enhance the ones he wouldn’t mind exploring.

The response to the kiss was a good one; a melting of that charged, frustrated anger in the air, wet fingers pressed against a tissue paper screen. Adarsh let himself be kissed and then kissed back, not with any real fire or passion but that was fine, that would take time. Right now this was exactly good enough; defusing the bomb of that fist, which sank down from where it had been at the ready.

Alex kept hold of Adarsh's wrist, thumb stroking the silkier inner skin of it where his pulse beat just below, and hummed encouragingly as he felt the man's other hand touch against his hip to hold him there. Storm-dark eyes slid shut, and Alex opened his mouth a little more, used his tongue a little more, nosed forward a little more. He stroked along Adarsh's full lower lip, an unhurried and luxurious taste before he let them breathe for a moment.

"There, now," Alex murmured, his voice at its most wooing, throaty and full of promise as he tilted his hip against Adarsh's hand, letting the tight corset of muscle there fill the cup of that palm, an offering. "Isn't that a much nicer way to start to remember yourself and what you can do and what you like?"

He tilted his head slightly, just so they could look at each other if they wanted, and pressed his thumb against that wrist pulse point. An indent, a stroke, a light scratch; Adarsh could decide for himself which one he liked best. What kind of pleasures he preferred. Alex, after all, was a big fan of just about anything.

[mc-adarsh]

Adarsh nodded in agreement. “That would be horrifying.” Though he would’ve loved to get this type of power, just for an afternoon. See what would pop out, learn something more about who he’d been when he was younger. Alex’s case however… it seemed like Alex had gone through big changes in his professional carreer, and he probably had to: being in the spotlight all the time. Was Sasha clpser to who real Alex was, or a version of himself that had once been sculpted in the hopes of becoming famous.

Did that make Alex right now a person more in tune with who he really was?

Also why did Adarsh care this much about the inner workings of Alex Pan?

He smiled when Alex took his plan with great enthusiasm. It was mostly - he found as the other reacted - for Alex’ benefit. And this selfish amusement that Alex perhaps was the type of person who liked organisation, if his clone was happy to do it.

A familiar selfish kind of feeling bubbled up instantly however when Alex took a step closer to him, narrowed the space between them, send all Adarsh’ senses haywire. He did want Alex alone, to himself. He was wanted to prove that while he still was no closer to knowing who he was, he knew what he wanted. "Maybe," he agreed. "I wouldn't mind trying it out."

"I got this."

He bit his lip, running a finger over Alex' arm, before he turned around to face Sasha. "You're a great help there, friend," he stated, moving away from Alex towards his odd copy. A copy but not really a copy, a glimpse into the past. "I'd really appreciate it if you could help organise the employee room, if you're up for it? We've been short on staff and our resident doctor keeps on forgetting to put things back where they belong." And there were a whole lot of tea mugs. "What do you say?"

Frankly, Alex was a little surprised the Adarsh was fully on board not only with following Alex's lead in disliking Sasha, but was coming up with plans on how to get rid of the dork. "I don't want him roaming the beach and telling people whatever he wants about us. Him. Me," Alex said, a gleam in his eye as he looked around the medibay to find the employee room, "so let's go with option two. I mean, he'll be happy as a clam shut in there with stacks of things to organize! I assume! Or at the very least it won't hurt him and we'll come out of it with a cleaner and more efficient medbay!"

The excitement over that prospect melted and morphed into the magical mystery healing that Adarsh was currently doing, and Alex put his other hand over Adarsh's, so present and warm on his healed-up arm. "Maybe you and me could get the contact part of it," he murmured, "if not the high. Once we stick Little Lord Plum-Bottom in the other room and make sure he can't get out."

Alex had stepped in closer as he spoke, ostensibly for more secrecy so that Sasha -- humming to himself as he busily tidied and made little clucking sounds over things that were soiled or out of place -- wouldn't hear. Although obviously he wouldn't hear. He slid his hand up Adarsh's arm, thumb lingering in the inside crook of his elbow for a moment to press there, feeling a vein shift, and then further up along the muscle and detouring to his chest. Alex smiled, curling his fingers into a fist and rapping it twice against Adarsh's sternum. "Whaddya say? Wanna help me lure him in there?"

[mc-adarsh]

Adarsh wasn’t fuming, not anymore, he was a little ball of shame and guilt. And confusion, he couldn't say what was at the root of his emotional reaction, he just knew it was an emotional reaction. It was out of his control, so vivid and pressing that it felt like white hot flames were burning all over his body. He was bracing himself for Alex to return the favour, even if his fist only grazed the other and luckily hadn’t connected with his chest. He knew it would’ve been painful if it had, perhaps he would’ve taken the breath from the other. 

He looked at Alex, though even if his face was one of rage, it was contorted in pain as well. And when the other reacted to the blow, he wasn’t sure what it meant. He thought it meant that the other was going to hit him. He was certain the other was going to hit him, and he was going to let it happen because he felt terrible. At least he hoped Alex packed a punch, knocked him out. 

Instead the other came a lot closer than he’d thought he would, and then their lips were touching. 

Oh, that’s what he meant. 

Alex’s hand clasped around his wrist gently and he slowly dropped his arm. He leaned into the kiss, he wasn’t sure why. It felt good to be kissed, and he realised… this was his first kiss. Probably not ever, he couldn't imagine he’d never kissed anyone before. But right now, the first one he’d remember, who knew for how long. 

And it was good. 

Alex's lips were soft and kind and he felt like a piece of shit. But he didn’t apologise, he just fought the bad feelings and let the hand that had punched Alex before now touched his hip, keeping him close as he closed his eyes and hated himself but enjoyed this. 

Ah.

Alex Panganiban hadn't been who he was, been through as many intimate social encounters as he had, to not be able to recognize when somebody was warming under his touch, when they were getting that good hot swirling feeling deep down low in their belly when they were looking at him. The other man's furiously emotional eyes caught on the curve of Alex's lips and he felt it, for a beat, that poise on the cliff's edge of whether or not contact of another sort was gonna happen.

It didn't. Adarsh went for the other kind of contact, kissing cousins to sexual arousal, and that was physical violence. Alex caught the blow but was already hopping back, making it a glancing one that mostly just made him huff to catch his breath and recalibrate, and he looked at Adarsh's fist balled up like a time-frozen meteor, raised high, mid-arc. Not a word spoken but water in those eyes, like a deep forest pond, dapple-brown and anguished.

"Oh," Alex murmured in his lowest, throatiest register, because even though it had been him who took that punch, he was the one with the upper hand here, the real one, not that one hovering caught in the air, "oh, honey. Why didn't you just say so."

His breath hitched slightly as he lunged forward, smooth as a jaguar, just a touch of a pained grimace twisting his mouth at the streak of pain through his midsection from that punch; that twist of his lips softening when his mouth met Adarsh's agonized one. Alex reached up to grasp that raised wrist, not too hard, but firmly: hold still. hold still and you won't feel any more regret.

[mc-adarsh]

Adarsh was still fuming, but he didn’t react, it felt like holding back a wave, but at the same time like protecting himself from something. He found that he didn’t actually want to get physical with anyone - not in that way at least. He wanted to vent his anger and his frustration, but maybe he didn’t necessarily want to throw a fist in anyone’s reaction. Even if the thought of it was kind of suiting. He felt like not knowing himself was getting in the way of trying to fit in, to be a regular human being. 

His breath hitched when Alex’s hand lowered and closed around his throat, not hard, just there. The other came closer, his face almost touching his own. His mouth felt dry, and there was a moment where instead of the rage there was something else. A moment long enough for him to reconsider things about himself that he’d thought of as basic knowledge. He stared into beautiful eyes, but the way Alex’ face was angled, his eyes caught his lips instead. And in that moment he thought of a physical reaction that was far more intimate than throwing punches. He’d been certain he was straight, the default. Now he was starting to question if perhaps his romantic and sexual attraction was more complicated than that. And with it he started to question other things too. Gender, age. His heart was beating fast, but it wasn’t just anger and loss. 

He swallowed, the moment lost. Lost in a reaction of blinding pain, a flash of white, something, it was powerful, intense, when Alex’s fingers dug into his skin. He could feel the constricting feeling, but his reaction felt too much, too many emotions. He felt like he lost all control over his own body, over his own mind, something overtook him, stronger than anything he’d felt before. He acted before he knew what he was doing. His right hand balling into a fist before he swung it underhand at Alex’s upper belly, just below his ribs. His other hand reaching up, balled as well, but hanging back. His hips twisted slightly to give his punch more strength. There were tears in his eyes. 

And then followed the regret. As if he’d punched himself in the gut. But his heart hurt, as if someone had stabbed it with a needle. 

He didn’t like this, he didn’t like this at all. The fingertips pressing into his neck had triggered something, memories that he couldn’t remember, he just remembered the feeling, the sudden helplessness, the fear. 

Couldn’t he have just given in to the earlier feeling, kissed Alex and shut him up that way? 

The quick-footed shift into an attack rather than a defense had proven to land, from the look on the other man's handsome face, and Alex felt a lick of hot pleasure go up through his belly at having knocked Adarsh a six for a nine. Being a public figure, and one known for being professionally chipper and more or less diplomatic, meant that Alex knew very well how to dance the edges of an altercation and escape with barely a scratch and no lasting damage.

But this was an opportunity to dive right into the middle of it, and why would he pass that up? The only cameras here weren't paparazzi, they were mysterious ones looking for a show. Whoever proved most charismatic, most riveting, most eye-catching and exciting, that was gonna be the plum in whatever kind of pudding they'd found themselves in. And Alex had plum written all over him.

"Got you there, didn't I?" he sneered, keeping tight hold of Adarsh's chin before he slid his hand down lower, to bracket the other man's throat. Not tight, not yet, Alex's thumb angled down into the notch of Adarsh's throat. "Don't you worry about my pretty face," Alex said, moved up so close that his nose almost brushed Adarsh's as he tilted it upwards in a condescending angle. "I know what it looks like, I don't need a mirror, not like you do, huh? Maybe this puffed-up fighting cock act isn't what comes natural to you. Maybe you like it a different way. Maybe you like it--"

Alex dug his thumb in, fingertips pressing hard into the side of Adarsh's neck. "Like this. When somebody else tells you what to do and you don't have to worry about a thing other than being a good little boy."

[mc-adarsh]

Adarsh nodded, though his frown suggested he was still muling over the answer. He was obviously not yet contented, and he didn't like that he couldn't come up with something that might help. Though... he worried it wasn't because he particularly wanted to help Alex, but because he wanted the clone gone. Or maybe it was because he did want to help the other get rid of his little problem.

Selfishness came easy to him, caring for others left him unbalanced.

He didn't like the prospect of vanishing, it seemed like that could take a long time. Who knew how long. "Does he... have to be within a certain distance from you?" he asked. "Or can he roam the beach on his own?" How awkward would that be? To have a copy... almost copy of yourself running around without knowing what they could possibly say about you. Not just verbally, but as a window into the past.

"We can lock him up in the employee room," he suggested. "He seems happy to be organising things, plenty of that there."

As energy seeped from Adarsh into Alex, he felt some tiredness take hold. But a smile played on his lips as the wounds vanished and Alex' reaction. Perhaps it was related to his new powers, maybe he poured too much into the other person, and that's why it happened. Or his power included making sure people wouldn't suddenly shock away from him. He would have to offer some kind of safe heaven to properly heal injuries.

This ability was useful.

"Hmm." He was staring at Alex, who had colour in his cheeks and his smile seemed to suggest it really would've been worth it if contact high existed. "Sadly not," he agreed, and his voice did actually sound remorseful. "But I'm glad you're having a good time." And that it was helping him figure out this power. "It makes me tired, most of all," he explained. "But the smaller the injuries, the smaller the effect."

"Now you're all healed," he declared, one hand still on Alex's arm.

"I don't know if it's any kind of force -- I tried it again and nothing happened, no extra me-clones and Sasha didn't go back in." Alex made an aggrieved sound at Adarsh's somewhat dirty-sounding comment about sucking back in, but it was more at the concept than any salacious thoughts. He wasn't in the mood and certainly not at the thought of his own dweeby, painfully earnest younger self. "I wouldn't even know where to begin trying to reabsorb him," Alex said glumly, looking over at Sasha, who was now busying himself with rearranging stacks of medical supplies. "I'm hoping he just ... vanishes."

But then Adarsh was holding his arms and inspecting the wounds, although since he didn't have any supplies on him Alex supposed that was just to get an idea of what he'd be dealing with. "New skillset you're testing out, huh?" Alex started, to put Adarsh at ease -- those heavy, handsome features were even more weighed down with fierce concentration -- but then he sucked in a quick breath--

--and let it out more slowly. Or maybe not at all. "Whoa," Alex said, and then chortled a little bit, shifting his weight from one foot to the other and then lifting one experimentally. "That feels like ... I took this class once on astral projection and it feels like that. Like I can see forever and I don't need to breathe. This is a fuckin' trip, man." He licked his lips, smiling at Adarsh. "It's too bad you can't feel it too. Contact high."

[little-baski]

Alex was very good at this. Maybe he'd gotten first aid lessons at his show? They gritted their teeth together as the wound was cleaned. "Yes, I saw through his eyes. It was like the other hornets but then bigger, bigger and with a lot of tv screens. Like uhm... like fly-eyes." Sort of, at least.

It was most definitely a memory, the last thing Qwan had said. Though they wondered how that had ended up in their mind, after being stung by a hornet. Maybe they all had something in their head, something that allowed someone else to see through them? But they'd also seen their own face, when with Zaid in the forest, talking to Una. They hadn't seen any cameras nearby. It felt supernatural. Like the ghosts they were hearing.

The questions that followed took them off guard. Talking about dying felt like a sudden leap, even if they realised that's how they'd worded it. They took a deep breath. "I-- I think he died... he screamed, I was out of there before uhm... before I could uhm... before I could think about it. Or feel things." They shook a bit at the memory and bit their lip. "I hope he's alive but... but I have a feeling he isn't. And... and that the hornet is very dangerous." Dangerous enough that it needed to be defeated. Maybe someone had a superpower that could work for that. Maybe Zaid could do something good with his power.

"You were Qwan?" Alex frowned as he did his work, cleaning the wound, making the appropriate sympathetic and soothing cooing noises. "You were seeing what Qwan saw, with this huge hornet that had multiple tv faces?"

The mere thought of such a creature was absolutely disgusting, and horrifying, but Alex was able to maintain his game face. No sense in rattling the already-shaken Baski any further and sending the poor sod tumbling into a state of near-incoherence. The story was already a little far-fetched, but fortunately Alex had resolved quite soon into this experience that he'd take everyone's stories at face value. Limiting one's acceptance of what was happening around them was pointless, really; when you'd faced generators that thanked you for your blood and giant mechanical hornets digging in your garden, why bother with what you knew as realism?

The denouement of the story made it a little worse, though, and Alex paused, round-eyed, in dabbing antiseptic ointment on the edges of the wound. "You were ... you were in Qwan when he died? Ohmigod. Baski, that sounds terrible! What did it feel like? Was it like seeing a bright light and going towards it, or was it a complete stop to everything? Was there any pain? Did you see fireworks go off in your vision? What happened after it was all over?"

[mc-adarsh]

Adarsh still smiled, though the sudden shift completely caught him off guard. Not that it was visible in Alex's tone, or that he didn't have it coming, but because he'd convinced himself that this was banter, and this was fun, not just for him. But Alex was right, he had been trying to start a fight - though perhaps not a physical one - and he'd definitely been trying to measure dicks. He'd been eager to prove he knew more, while at the same time getting caught up in how much he loved to find his footing in the languages he knew.

Because at least he knew that.

His smile slowly disappeared from his face however. I know when I was born, what birthmarks I've got, what my mom's voice sounds like. He swallowed, the rage and frustration flinging themselves back into his body at such a speed he almost saw red. Almost.

Because selfishly he didn't want to risk burning down this bridge, he didn't want to lash out and lose this connection to language learning.

He was unable to realise he didn't want to punch Alex because he liked Alex.

He body ran cold, staring at the other with an expression frozen in barely contained raged, eyebrows deep over his eyes. "I suggest you get the fuck out of my face if you want to keep that pretty face of yours," he growled.

"You're not trying to have a conversation," Alex said, abruptly switching back to English. "You're trying to pick a fight and you're trying to measure dicks. But the thing is -- I have nothing to prove to you."

He shrugged, eyebrows raised, rocking back on his heels without actually stepping back and away from the other man, voice loud but not particularly escalating in aggression. Alex was good at that kind of thing, projection without sounding angry.

"You see, I know who I am. I know what languages I speak. I know when I was born, what birthmarks I've got, what my mom's voice sounds like. So from where I'm standing, Shah Rukh Can't--"

Alex lifted his chin, bumping his chest hard against Adarsh's. He reached up and cinched the taller man's chin between his fingers, waggling it as if Adarsh was a particularly thick-headed child. "I'm the one who's got it all going over you."