#time to edit and post this beeyotch

[sugar-stories]

I just put Ranma and Akane through 17K words of Painfully Goofy Martial Arts Bullshit

I guess I can let them kiss now

You know, as a treat

[asntmc5recap]

EPISODE 6: The Girl Who Has a Dirty Little Secret

Two things that ruin America’s Next Top Model: social media frenzy and too much focus given on drama.

THE FAREWELL

After the elimination, Shikin questioned the judges’ decision to give Maureen the FCO, making her the new face of Maybelline, saying Valerie’s photo was more expensive. I guess because saying her photo was better would be a little too vain?

I get why Shikin was frustrated. Last week, she got the highest challenge score, and her photoshoot was fucking flawless (she didn’t get BOTH the challenge prize or the best photo reward). But hey, like I said, in the end, Maybelline is the one who has a say in who would be picked as the winner, considering that she’ll be featured in their campaign, and they picked the prettiest one. So don’t be afraid to say it Shikin. “Don’t cha think mah pic is da best?? Dat Maureen bitch is just lucky she’s so pwetty and shaaaiitteee...”

Shikin’s disgruntlement continued after that when she saw Alicia wrote that she’s rooting for Maureen in her farewell note. (So nobody’s shipping Alicia and Maureen?) I really hope this won’t get pushed as another feud/catfight because dang I’m tired of it.

THE CHALLENGE

Another social media challenge, JESUS. I enjoy last week’s challenge. It was fun. And I guess this too, didn’t stray too far from modelling, BUT HOLY SHIT if I ever hear social media again, Imma lose my shit, y’all. I mean, whatever happened to fun challenges like, um, doing yoga on a surf board? Or KPop dance?

Fiona Fussi, Acuvue (contact lense) ambassador gave them the brief for this week’s challenge - Acuvue Uniquely Me social media challenge.

Acuvue released a line of products that cater to every type of girl - and by every, they mean only five - and using Polaroid camera, the girls need to style themselves and submit three of their best photos that embody the type of woman they were assigned to. The five different personality style are: cosmopolitan woman (Maureen and Tu), the girl next door (Cindy and Veronika), the artist (Shikin and Dorothy), the career women (Clara and Valerie) and the socialite (Nametha).

Using the Polaroid camera proved to be a challenge for some of the girls, especially those who have never used it before. There was a bit of a tension going on since they were only given ten shots to get the best photos. Shikin and the twins struggle a little bit with their groupmate taking shaite photos of them.

But one group’s “conflict” strikes me the most:

So, Clara got a lot of hate for the shenanigans that she pulled during last week’s challenge, but how is what Tu did any different from Clara? Okay, granted, Tu showed a higher level of maturity (she’s much older anyway) and Clara’s much louder, but when Tu called Maureen’s photography skill a “fail” and claimed that this is why she “can only be a model,” it is portrayed as two ladies affectionately joking around with each other (despite Tu looking genuinely dissatisfied by the final products), while Clara, who’s clearly looking like she’s goofing around, is portrayed as this annoying loudmouth beeyotch who everyone loves to hate.

I’m not saying that we should hate Tu, but I’d say the same about Clara too. Last week, the tension was built up from Maureen taking too long with the makeup so I understand how she reacted differently with Clara playfully calling her stupid for not getting the right photo than with Tu saying that her photos are bad (Maureen takes bad photo, we get it). However, I think it’s unfair Clara got portrayed as the “bad” one simply because Maureen reacted better to Tu’s (seemed legit) criticisms than Clara’s playful (yet clueless) remarks because she got to work in a calmer environment.

Anyway, Dorothy won the challenge because she embodies her personality - the artist - by biting a brush(?) and looking super indie-artist-chick-like. Not too crazy about the third photo.

Mau’s my favourite, I’ve got to say. The first photo was beautiful, and she’s really giving me this cosmopolitan girl on-the-go vibe. Tu’s discontentment was totally justified. Lol.

And special mention goes to Veronika, or more accurately, Cindy, who took these photos. The first photo looks AMAZING. To capture a movement like that with a polaroid must have taken some mad skills and perfect timing. (Or luck. I think it’s luck.)

Valerie got the worst score and she seemed super stressed-out working with Clara. But look at these photos. Are they really a product of bad photography? She was giving the same poses and the same face angle in all three pictures. Her styling was bad too, and it was one of the main criteria for a high score.

And special mention goes to Cindy, the “Missing Girl: Last seen wearing a blue top and following a creepy-looking dude with a polaroid camera. This is the last picture we have of her. If you have any information, please call this number. Rewards will be given.”

Tu CONSISTENTLY gets low scores for her challenge. WHY??

THE DRAMA

NOW we’re getting to the good part, huh? NOT. 

It all started with Veronika moving back to the “good girls” room with some dirty dish on Nametha. After the challenge, the twins questioned Dorothy’s win, because they can’t even see her eyes. Shikin then asked them who they think should’ve win instead and they said they don’t know because they’re not the judge (dafuq?), prompting Nametha to question their logic (and calling them stupid bitches - on another cam, of course). Then, when they got back to their room, they started talking about how Nametha has no manners and decided to confront her in the “bad girls” bedroom. Nametha, being a BADASS BAWS, just told them to get the fuck over it (more or less).

This went on until after the photoshoot, where they revealed they know Nametha’s been using the wifi and she should get punished for breaking the rules. YADDA YADDA YADDA Clara got exiled to the “bad girls” room for not picking a side (because we good girls just don’t befriend everyone, ew!).

The only two people whom I feel sorry for are: Clara, whose cluelessness seems genuine, and Cindy, who really looks like she thought being in a house with 13 other girls for 13 weeks will be like a giant, super-long slumber party. 

“Why don’t they just settle this with a pillow fight?” thought Cindy.

Anyway, the “drama” was bad - super forced, poorly thought out & terribly edited. Some of the girls’ reactions didn’t even match the conversation/situation somehow. I do find Valerie’s remarks on Dorothy’s photo - “It could’ve been better.” - kinda rude and condescending BUT I get that the bigger problems here lie mostly in the language barrier. And I might add the twin seemed to be pulling the same shit Jennica was doing in the earlier episodes, with the constant criticisms and dissatisfaction over other contestants’ performance, and the way they told Clara to move into the “bad girls” room was very Queen Bee-ish.

In my honest opinion, though, this is the same shit the producers tried to pull last week - create drama out of small fights or disagreement. I don’t know any of these girls in real life, but from what I see, their clashes come mostly from the girls having different personalities. Shikin wasn’t being a bossy bitch, she was assertive and know what she wanted; Clara wasn’t being rude, she was super childish and goofy; Nametha didn’t have no manners, she’s just outspoken and emotionally expressive. Yet, week after week, they make it seems like these girls are ready to claw each other’s eye out. I mean, when your audience keep calling your show out for being scripted, maybe you’ve to consider the probability that you’ve gone too far with the drama.

THE PHOTOSHOOT

Oh, have I told you guys how much I was rooting fro Aimee during the third cycle? She has everything needed to become a top model - brain, beauty, personality, height, and a little bit of an attitude for added flavour. Glad to see she’s doing so well now.

For their photoshoot, they need to embody luxurious indulgence for a Neutrogena commercial ad. They need to show beauty, confidence, sophistication and elegance while being totally relaxed and calm in a confined space of a bathtub.

The girls need to represent three types (flavour?) of Neutrogena body wash. The girls wearing green represent Pear & Green Tea.

Gold Lush for the girls wearing, well, gold.

And Ocean Mist being represented by the girls in blue.

I have MULTIPLE issues with this shoot. When you put a tall girl in a bathtub, wearing a dress, with her having to lift her head while her body is submerged in the water, and combined that with the position of the camera, you are NOT gonna get a good picture. Yu Tsai at least should’ve known this. The dress would’ve given an ethereal, dramatic effect had it been a full-underwater photoshoot, but here, it just made the girls look either restricted, or bigger.

And I wonder if they changed the water because it got really murky at the end. It’s disgusting considering how the water got into their eyes and mouth. (And Cindy, in her Instagram post, said that Clara was submerged for twenty minutes in it due to technical difficulties!)

THE PHOTOS

Like I said earlier, the final products of this photoshoot are not my favourites. I can probably point to some that I like, but even then I think it was just OKAY. But enough about that, LET’S ASSESS (and rank’em).

1) Cindy, 1st place, 44.1 points

I’m torn between this and Maureen’s, but I have to agree with the judges here. This just screams indulgence. Plus, beauty care product is Cindy’s thing. Among the other girls, I can see her being Neutrogena spokesperson the most.

2) Maureen, 3rd place, 43.4 points

Again, she’s a girl who can nail beauty care product with ease. It’s a pretty photo, but not much opinion can be form on it. It’s pretty, but it’s an okay pretty.

3) Nametha, 2nd place, 43.7 points

Now we’re venturing into me-no-likey territory. While I can see the beauty and calmness in this photo, it also shows the main problem in this photoshoot. Nametha’s tall, and being confined in that bathtub means she mostly had to squish herself to get in the frame. And in this photo we can see how that, combined with her dress, make her mid-section looks super huge. You either make the pool larger, or the dress, uh, smaller?

4) Tu, 7th place, 36.5 points

Cindy complained about how her photos are mostly too sexy. But you put a girl who just oozes sexuality without even trying in a lace dress in a bathtub and what do you think is gonna happen? She ain’t gonna turn into Mother Theresa in there, boo.

5) Shikin, 4th place, 43.0 points

I won’t say she’s not a commercial girl (she killed it last week) but I’d say she’s not a Neutrogena girl (same with Tuti last cycle). But that being said this could’ve been better. Shit I sounded like Valerie.

6) Clara, 6th place, 37.8 points

CLOSE. YOUR. GODDAMN. MOUTH. JEEZUS.

Btw, the neck looks super-strained. But that’s “trying to show neck while lifting my head to make sure my face is not submerged in the water” neck I tell you.

7) Dorothy, 9th place, 34.8 points

Can someone PLEASE explain to me this whole “sweet bubbly girl next door” thing that Cindy keeps pointing out about Dorothy? Since the first week she struck me as a sassy girl with an attitude. I don’t know if she looks cute and bubbly in real life but heck I just don’t see it.

Oh yeah, and the photo is terrible. I disagree with Cara saying there’s no emotion there, but it’s less “Come in the bath with me and experience this indulgence together,” and more “OH NO, I really don’t mind you using the toilet while I’m trying to take a relaxing bath, dear...”

8) Valerie, 5th place, 42.5 points

“Help, help, this wall is closing in on me. Oh, a camera! Pose! Help, help...”

9) Veronika, 8th place, 35.5 points

“Why bother, twin? Life’s meaningless anyway. Let’s just crawl in a fetal position and wait quietly for our impending doom.. Let’s go gentle into the good night...”

Goodbye, Nametha

So it was a pre-determined no-elimination week (yeah, right) but the issue of Nametha’s breaking the rules rose again during the judging panel. Cindy asked the girls to raise their hand if they thought Nametha should be eliminated. Tu is so affected by the whole ordeal (she wanna use the wifi too, you guys) that she looks like she’s about ready to backhand any girls who think Nametha should stay.

“You either eliminate her or feel the Wrath of Tu!”

So anyway, we say arrivederci to our blooming flower, Nametha.

She seems unapologetic about breaking the rules. But what has been done has been done, and if the punishment for breaching the contract is disqualification, then I think she got what she deserved. Plus, Tu was right. She’s from Singapore, so being familiar with the country they’re staying in, she should really be the one feeling the least homesick (think of it as going to college where you’re not allowed to use the phone or wifi or something, I don’t know). However, it’s still sad seeing her go especially when she’d been giving really good performances these past few weeks.

Damn wifi.