#tj kippen is bisexual and flustered

[tyrus-time]

You’re Still The One // Tyrus Month, "College”

@tyrusweek /// AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15768714

Summary: Cyrus and TJ had grown very close, but they lost touch throughout high school. TJ wished he had told Cyrus how he really felt all those years ago, but he finally accepted that he would never know what might have been. Until one day, when TJ is walking aroun d his newuniversity campus after transferring. Call it fate, destiny, or the Universe -- something brings the two of them back together again.

“TJ Kippen?!”

TJ heard a familiar voice call his name. He turned around to see none other than Cyrus Goodman, his friend from middle school. “Hey, look who it is!”

“Oh my god, I can’t believe it’s you! I didn’t know we both went here!” The excitement in Cyrus’ voice sent warmth through TJ’s chest.

“I actually just transferred here this semester. I finished my associate’s at community college and now I’m here on scholarship.” TJ smiled, “It’s great to see you! I wasn’t expecting to run into you.”

“Well, it’s a pleasant surprise for me, too.” Cyrus’ eyes looked TJ up and down, not-so-subtly checking him out. “You look great, by the way,” he remarked.

“Thanks, you’re not so bad yourself,” TJ winked, attempting to maintain his suave confident exterior. Nevermind the fact that his knees felt weak and his heart felt fluttery.

The two smiled at each other for a moment until Cyrus looked away to check his watch. “Oh geez, I need to get to class now, but I’d love to catch up with you later... Would you like to meet for dinner?”

TJ smiled. “Yeah, I’d like that. Any suggestions where? I’m new around here and I don’t know the local hangout spots.”

“Yeah, do you have the same cell number as you did before? I can text you the details.”

TJ nodded. “Sounds good. See you later, Cyrus.”

TJ couldn’t believe it. What were the odds that he’d run into Cyrus here and now?

They hadn’t seen each other in four or five years. The two had been inseparable during middle school. They had been close — closer than most teenage boys allowed themselves to be. Their friendship was so supportive; it seemed like a bond to last a lifetime. But there was something else about their relationship. A natural chemistry. An intimate longing. Feelings that neither of them outright acknowledged or acted upon. Oh, the uncertainty of adolescence.

The two fell out of touch when they went to different high schools, and if TJ had one regret, it was that he never told Cyrus how he truly felt. What should I have done? I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, but it didn’t last anyway. Oh well, right? TJ resigned himself to the fact that he’d never have an answer to all the “what if’s.”  He would never know what might have happened between them.

But now.

Now they were here, together, at college. Meeting for dinner. Talking face-to-face.

Was this fate? Was this time to finally say everything he had previously held back? Was the universe on his side for once?

I guess I’ll find out tonight.

——

They met at a cozy cafe adjacent to campus. String lights cast a warm glow onto the street. Cyrus was waiting outside, hands in the pockets of his cardigan. He’s still the same adorable Cyrus, isn’t he, TJ noted with fondness as he approached. “Hey, Cyrus.”

Cyrus smiled and opened the door for TJ. “Shall we?”

“What a gentleman! Thank you.”

As soon as he stepped in, TJ was enveloped by the smell of coffee and cocoa. Cyrus, with his typical nerdy enthusiasm, gave TJ a rundown of the cafe’s food options. After ordering their sandwiches and grabbing their drinks, Cyrus led them over to a cozy booth in the corner. “This is my favorite spot,” he gleamed.

TJ took in the light fixtures and the art on the walls. “I can see why! Really nice atmosphere here.”

“I know, right? Ah, it’s so comfortable, but I also feel so adult when I come in here to work on my laptop and sip espresso.”

TJ chucked. “So, do you come here often?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Cyrus flirted. TJ, not expecting such a response, almost choked on his drink. “Oh, shoot, are you okay?!”

Great job, Kippen. A few minutes into this and you’re already falling apart. “I’m fine,” TJ rasped. Compose yourself. “Ah, so, how have you been? What are you studying?”

Much to TJ’s relief, his awkwardness faded as Cyrus launched into discussion of his past two years at college. Conversation came easy between the two of them, and the more they talked, the more comfortable they became. They carried on as if nothing had ever disrupted their original relationship. After a shared fit of laughter over a particularly funny anecdote, Cyrus took a deep breath and asked, “Gosh, why did we ever stop hanging out?”

TJ’s lips twitched to the side, his eyes gazing down.

Cyrus continued, “I know that life happens, but I should’ve done more to stay in touch with you after you moved. I could’ve come to support you at your high school games, but I just… stopped...”

Hearing Cyrus’ guilt made TJ’s eyes dart up. “No, do not blame yourself, Cyrus. I… I let myself drift away from everybody I met at Jefferson.” TJ bit his lip, debating how much he should reveal. “When I moved, it was because… I was put into a new foster home.”’

Cyrus’ eyes widened. “Oh, TJ, I never realized…”

“Yeah, there’s a reason for that. I never let anyone know, even you. Why do you think I never let anyone come over to my house?”

Cyrus nodded in understanding.

“There were a lot of us in that home. I didn’t get much attention or assistance from my foster parents; there were younger kids that required their care.” TJ’s voice was straightforward, but with a hint of pain. “They gave me food and a place to sleep, but I was mostly on my own. That’s kinda why I started working so young.”

Cyrus listened attentively.

“But then I was moved to be with a family that could be more attentive to me, which is great right? It was supposed to be a more supportive environment. I guess it was in some ways. But… they were pretty... conservative.”

Cyrus gave him a look, urging him to continue.

TJ sighed. “They were homophobic. I… I wouldn’t have felt safe coming out to them.”

Cyrus’ mouth fell slightly agape. “Wait. So… you’re—?

TJ smirked, “Bisexual, yeah.”

“Thank you for telling me,” Cyrus smiled. “I’m very gay, by the way, in case you couldn’t already tell.”

TJ laughed with a big grin, “Yeah, I suspected so.” The two shared a playful look.

“So… why exactly did you cut contact with us when you moved, if you don’t mind me asking? You didn’t want us to know you were in the foster system?”

“Yeah, I had a lot of shame about that. But also…” TJ took a deep breath. “I was afraid of where things might go, with… with you and me.” TJ paused. He could feel the lump rising in his throat. Everything he always wished he had said… he now had the chance to say it.

TJ took a deep breath. “I liked you, Cyrus. I always did.  All the way back to our first conversation. I thought you were cute and sweet and I wanted to get to know you, and... I think you were my first actual friend, to be honest. And… You made me a better person. I made myself be a better person, because you inspired me. I realized I wanted to be better, and I wanted to be better for you.”

TJ’s eyes finally met those of the boy in front of him. Cyrus looked starstruck. He was speechless. But in a good way, it seemed?

TJ reached across the table to grab Cyrus’ hands, which had been resting at the edge of the table. “Cyrus, maybe you never realized it, but I was in love with you,” he smiled. “Or at least, as in-love a person can be when he’s 14.”

Cyrus blinked, trying to ground himself amidst this revelatory moment.

“What are you thinking?” TJ asked nervously.

“I’m thinking… that Buffy and Andi were right, dammit!” Cyrus laughed. “They suspected that you and I were a thing. ‘You two totally make heart eyes at each other!’ But I never let myself believe it. I was too afraid… I wasn’t ready. Maybe that’s why I let myself drift away from you?” Cyrus’s brow knitted up, “I’m sorry.”

“Hey. Don’t be! I’m thankful for what we did have. You really changed my life. You should always feel proud of that, Underdog.”

Cyrus chuckled at the old nickname. “Ah, I really appreciate you saying that. But still… what might have happened, if we did things differently? I can’t help but wonder.”

TJ shrugged. “It wasn’t the right time for us,” he responded.

“Well… what about now?”

“What?”

Cyrus blushed. “What if now is the right time? For us?”

TJ tilted his head with a grin. “Cyrus Goodman, are you asking me out?” he beamed.

Cyrus put his fingers to his chin in mock-thought. “Why, yes, yes I am!” He laughed.  “Actually, I’m asking you on a second date. I’m counting this as our first.”

TJ’s smile was so warm, so bright, it could have lit up the moon. “You’re serious? You — you really want to go out with me?”

Cyrus rolled his eyes, “TJ Kippen, you must realize how attractive you are.”

“Lol, yeah, but… I don’t know, I guess I always thought I wasn’t worthy of dating you. You’re so good. I’m not that special.”

“Oh hush. Is that your insecurity or just false humility talking? Have you forgotten how much you helped me? I don’t know if I ever would have danced with danger, were it not for you! From day one, you pushed me out of my comfort zone while supporting me. I think you’re pretty damn special, TJ.”

TJ giggled with his hand over his face. He wasn’t used to be complimented so earnestly. But him and Cyrus, they had always been vulnerable with each other. It was about time that they were completely honest.

Pulling out his charming smirk, TJ laughed and admitted, “Okay fine, you’re right. I am pretty great.”

“Theeere’s that classic TJ charm!” Cyrus played.

The two men continued to banter, laughing and flirting. With old secrets and emotions finally confessed, the two continued to talk about their current lives. Both were succeeding in their studies and both had dreams of moving out to the coast. They marvelled at how easy it was to talk to each other, naturally picking up after all these years. The chemistry was still there, but there was something more. Growth. There was no longer the uncertainty of being 13.

Maybe they were ‘meant to be’ after all… It was now, finally, the right time for them.