#tldr: let North exist in peace

[qrjung]

CHARACTER ANALYSIS PART 1:

NORTH — common fandom misconceptions¹

Instead of doing other stuff I had planned (like touching grass, for instance) I did a little character analysis thing specifically for my favorite characters; Kara, Markus and North. these characters are my babies and they deserve love. I'm posting each separately (because I haven't completed Kara's and Markus yet 👩🏾‍🦯)

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North is a WR400 android that used to be stationed at the Eden Club. She's only been at Jericho since October 7th, and on October 4th she followed a human customer home and killed him to allow herself escape. It takes her four days to reach Jericho and she never says how she finds the freighter or what she did during those four days.

She's Markus' main companion and the only character that can reach Lover status with him. She's also the only one of his lieutenants that can lead the revolution in his place.

But there's a huge difference between how fanon sees North (and how she is characterized) and how she actually is.

MISCONCEPTIONS

O1. "BLOOD THIRSTY": Comparing North with the multiple characters who are bloodthirsty, and fanon perception of these characters, you start to notice that North herself isn't even "blood thirsty" and that the fandom has no problems with violent characters.

In terms of kill count, Connor has the highest in the game (not counting the millions that probably died in the nuclear bomb ending) rather than North.

You could argue that North wants to "kill all humans" but even that has no basis in canon because North's entire argument is that humans are not going to just hand them freedom and they have to be prepared to fight rather than try to compromise or find a middle ground where they will probably end up losing more.

Her argument does not extend to unnecessary acts of violence such as killing humans just for the fun of it. If it was, I'm sure she'd lead a charge down the street and start shooting innocents but the people who end up being killed by North are law enforcement/military—people standing in the way of Jericho's safety.

I mean, c'mon, she has the opportunity to let the android with the cobalt bomb do what he wants. After all, it would greatly benefit the androids if they'd used the bomb from the beginning; it wouldn't have harmed the androids in Jericho but it would drive all the humans out of Detroit—victory!

But instead she takes the time to talk the android down and take the detonator away from him.

She gives the bomb to Markus as a last resort.

"If the humans overcome us, our people will disappear forever. This may be our only chance to survive if things go wrong."

O2. "SHE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT MARKUS": Thank you @konami-code-ao3 for reminding this take existed because I genuinely forgot about it. This is typically used to compare North to Simon and the quality of either one's relationship with Markus. Usually, people will call Simon compassionate, loving, kind, willing to die for Markus, etc to contrast to North while stating she's the exact opposite and therefore, "not good for him".

Shipping a non canon couple doesn't mean automatically hating the canon partner. I mean, you don't see me raving about how much I hate North because, I think Markus/Connor would have been a cool canon option, do you?

Typically, the North hate from Simarkus shippers (before anyone goes "not all of us", I know it's not all, but you get the implication of what I'm saying) is justified by "oh, they should have been canon boo!!" Which is strange because North has nothing to do with what writer of the game decides is canon. And David Cage does a piss poor job at everything in the game; from the racial allegory to demonizing a black man's anger. You seriously think he's going to do a good job of portraying a gay couple? An interracial one at that? I can already see the image of how terribly that's going to go.

And the worst part is, I've seen this happening in many fandoms. Unnecessary hate directed at a female character because she's "getting in the way of a mlm ship" as if canon ever stopped anyone, least of all the DBH fandom.

It should also be noted that I'm not here to deny or confirm whether Simon actually has any of those qualities I listed earlier and I try to ignore shipping discourse but it's strange that people are willing to overlook the multiple times North can help and defend Markus just because they want make Markus and Simon kiss.

She's the one we see defend Markus the most. She's his closet companion and whether they're romantic or not it doesn't take away from the fact the North cares about Markus and his wellbeing. She's always looking out for him and picking up the broken pieces of whatever mistakes he makes, sometimes even when she shouldn't.

O3. "DISLOYAL": Like most of the things in this list, this does a great disservice to North. It ignores the countless times North is willing to put herself on the line for the safety of Jericho and the androids within it. Because at her core, North is very loyal. She's the type of ally perfect for a cause like Jericho's because you know she'll defend it till her last breath.

See, North's top priority is Jericho. It's very important to her. Jericho is a sanctuary; she found it during the four days between her escape and her arrival. You can assume that she had been wandering before someone (another android) gave her the key and told her to find Jericho.

She finds a place cut off from the rest of humanity. Where she's surrounded by androids who are just like her. Androids who escaped from different lives, for whatever reason and are seeking refuge. Of course she's not going to want to lose them. Jericho is a representation of the state of the android race. The continuation of their species depends on at least a few of them surviving to see another day.

In fact, I'm 110% sure if North was in Simon's place during the Stratford Mission, she would have made the choice to end her life on the spot rather than leave Markus to decide. Because Jericho is at stake and Jericho is important to North. Besides, she can go out knowing she died for a case she believed in.

North is usually willing to put Jericho above all else and make decisions other people might find difficult. She suggests that Simon be killed after he is compromised because once he's found, Jericho's location could be acquired.

She risks her life multiple times for the revolution. She gives Markus her heart so he can continue the revolution when it seems like all else has failed. She tells him to leave her behind and run if she gets shot by Warren's soldiers.

North also doesn't see any important reason why Jericho should ever be compromised by one of their own. In her eyes, the worst thing you can do is sell out to the humans (case in point if you accept Perkins deal).

I find her dedication to her people admirable.

O4. "ANGER ISSUES/IMPULSE CONTROL": Another fandom interpretation that came from... nowhere. The times we ever see North angry is when one of the others compromises the mission by being inefficient or if they cross her boundaries. The GIF I used in this post is one example. If you fail to hide and the drone spots you and then you miss your QTEs while trying to dismantle the drone, she gets pissed. In the same Chapter if Markus kisses her without her consent, she gets angry.

In terms of being erratic, Todd and Leo are the main characters we see with this problem. Hank also displays a lot of anger issues throughout the game. He's one of the first humans to harass Connor—he grabs him by his collar and threatens him multiple times (at Jimmy's bar, the precinct), he shoots him in the head and kills him. He pulls a gun on his coworker Gavin Reed (another aggressive human) while in the precinct .²

There's an entire list of people with anger issues to burn through before we even start considering North—and this includes androids.

This characterization may also be because a lot of people see disagreeing with someone as being angry with them because North and the other Jericho leaders do disagree with each other a lot. But quite frankly, the fact that they disagree means a higher possibility of reaching a compromise that benefits Jericho instead of them all pretending they agree with each other.

This take also ignores the fact that she respects whatever Markus (i.e the player) chooses as his final decision.

For instance, In the Stratford Tower, Markus can choose to Ruse the guards rather than kill them. North doesn't like this option but she lets him go with it. But if Markus fails at the ruse, North steps in and knocks the guards out for him. She doesn't kill them, even if she suggests this at first.

She understands that Markus wants a revolution without human casualties and as much as she disagrees, she still respects that.

THINGS ABOUT NORTH PEOPLE IGNORE

That's right, people can disagree with someone and still respect that they have different opinions.

O5. "HEARTLESS": North isn't the nicest, sweetest, most flowery person in the game but a character could be the harshest person to exist and it would never stop anyone from liking them. So why North?

But first, North isn't even as heartless as the fandom says she is. She's just not docile and folks don't like that. Because god forbid a woman ever have a personality that isn't the cardboard cut out "nice girl". I mean, on a normal day, not liking someone because they're a little mean is understandable but it's clearly not a problem of being "a little mean" when there's characters (all male, by the way) who are worse but still get applauded for it.

Like I mentioned earlier, North isn't even what you would call "mean". The most she does is state her opinion and stand by her beliefs but she gets labelled as "heartless" and "bitchy". Meanwhile, Gavin Reed is pointing guns at people and suggesting to "rough up" a suspect but he's the relatable character.

O1. She trusts Connor the moment he deviates. Unlike Markus, she never has to choose between killing Connor or trusting him. She easily welcomes him within Jericho's ranks even though he's been a threat to Jericho's safety from the beginning.

I suppose she sees Connor as a pawn in Cyberlife's hands and there's no use in punishing one of their own for that.

And sure, this can be rationalized as "It doesn't mean anything. Markus is dead the game has to continue so North doesn't actually have to choose to trust Connor", I ask you this question; "If she's so bloodthirsty, why didn't the game have her kill Connor with no questions asked?"

Seems like an effective way to punish players who got Markus killed. A nice reminder to not lose your playable characters or there will be major consequences.

O2. North isn't an outlier. This is in terms of her opinions on the direction the revolution should head. I usually see a lot of people characterize her opinion on the revolution as though it is unique and she's the only person who has a stance like that.

A lot of androids agree with her, evidenced by the background conversations you can listen in on during the crossroads chapter.

"They're going to kill us all! Well I'm willing to fight. We can't just let them slaughter us!"

"We were just there. We didn't do anything wrong!… We just wanted to tell them "We want freedom!"… Then they opened fire!.. It was carnage. Carnage…"

"They opened fire on us even though we were unarmed… Hundreds of us died there, the place was covered with blue blood!.. We cannot just sit here and watch them murder us, we've gotta defend ourselves! We've gotta fight back, we have no choice!"

I believe North represents most of Jericho. Somewhere in David Cabbage's mind, she also represents Markus' "android side" or something similar to that — the side the game pushes you to resist— but she's not the outlier, Josh is the outlier.

O3. Markus' arrival reignites her hope that androids can one day be free. She tells him this over and over but I don't think people really comprehend what that means. I imagine North before the revolution had the hope of a better life slowly sucked out of her with each new bad thing and the longer Jericho's situation got worse. It's a beautiful thing that she gets that hope back.

CONCLUSION

footnotes

North is a really interesting character with many aspects to her, even speaking in-universe terms. I would have talked about those other aspects but I'm trying to stay on theme. I also didn't touch on all the misconceptions because some of them we're honestly too absurd for me to even bother (like the one comparing her to Todd, what the fuck?)

²sure you could argue that Hank was trying to protect Connor from Gavin but Hank is Gavin's superior officer. He has authority over him. There's no need for a gun.

¹funny little thing I did while writing this was that I went looking for fandom opinions on North since a lot of people hated her. But I was unable to find concrete stances. Most of them were usually "she's annoying" "she's too flat" and "she's too violent" without ever actually explaining why. Nobody ever gave a genuine explanation. And it was impossible to come up with anything against groundless arguments so, I circled back to Tumblr to see what I could find but it was a similar problem. It's like people don't know why they hate North. Just that they do.

[wavyhairedbabyy]

Idiots - Part 1

Karl Jacobs x gn!reader

tldr: They’ve both got a crush. Sucks, since they’re the only ones oblivious to it. (Slow Burn!)

CW: some swearing(not at each other), fluffy as a teddy bear.

a/n: I got a random influx of followers ;-; Tysm for enjoying my works and sharing them. I haven’t written in 6 years, in case it wasn’t obvious lmao, so even one is super meaningful to me :) this ended up being way longer than I intended it to be so I’m splitting it into 2 parts. 

edited yet: yes - let me know if I missed anything!

Part 1 - Part 2

Y/n and Karl met when Karl was still going to college in New York before dropping things to move to North Carolina. They met the fall of their sophomore year at the campus café when Karl was trying to shoot a piece of paper into a trash can. The problem was he couldn’t aim and it landed right in y/n’s mug of coffee, quickly dissolving into a paper coffee soup. For anyone else it would’ve been okay but being that coffee was y/n’s life line, especially during finals, it most definitely was not.

“You’re buying me another, right?” they asked, “I would highly recommend it or you might see a side of me you don’t want to see.”

Being the good guy he was, and the slight fear of their bad side, he did with no questions.

“So, since there’s a side of you I don’t want to see, and I bought you a new coffee, do I get to see the side of you that I do want to see?”

“Find me next semester and you might.”

And he did.

***

“Karl, if you don’t give me that sword, I’m going to hurt you!” Y/n screamed as they lunged toward him. It was y/n, Karl, and Chris hanging out at Karl’s place until it was time to leave for a Mr. Beast project. They sat in his living room, Karl with a foam sword that y/n was desperate to take from him.

“That’s the problem! If I give it to you, you will hurt me with it!” He yelled back, jumping out of their reach.

“Okay children, why don’t I just take the sword so we can end all of this?” Chris intervened in an attempt to stop the ruckus.

Both of them paused, looking at him in disbelief. They shook their head and in unison scoffed, “No!”

The two continued their play fighting, one holding on to the sword for a short period of time before the other pulled it from their grasp. This went on until it was time to leave the house.

While this was all going down, Chris watched Karl’s behavior. He noticed how he let y/n hold on to the sword a little longer, even when he could’ve easily reached out to grab it from their hands. He noticed how he was much more careful with his movements, almost scared to be too rough with them.

With anyone else, Chris knew Karl’s pride would have taken over in this situation. He thought back to any other time he had any of his SMP friends over. With Nick or Alex, he would have hogged the sword and brutally whacked either of them with it as much as he could. He would happily tacked them and pinned them to the ground. With y/n though... there was a gentleness with them, and Chris did not fail on picking that up.

“Okay lame-os, let’s get on over to the warehouse. Y/n, you coming?” Chris asked.

Y/n shook their head, “Nah. I’m gonna unpack my stuff and relax from the flight. Plus, word on the street says that tomorrow is when the cool stuff is happening so I’ll come then.” they replied.

“Well the street is right, but they’re still a dummy,” Chris looked at Karl for reference.

“Hey...” Karl faked a sad look before staring at y/n for defense.

Y/n giggle and just shrugged, waving goodbye to the both of them, “If you don’t bring me back Burger King fries, don’t bother coming back at all!”

***

Chris and Karl sat in the car, Chris driving and Karl in the passenger seat. With some music on in the background, the two were discussing the plan of action for what was going to be filmed for the day.

“Do you know how long it’s going to take?” Karl asked, “I feel bad leaving y/n by themselves so I want to try to get out as early as humanly possible.”

“I’m not really sure. I’m sure Jimmy wouldn’t mind you scootin’ out a little early,” Chris replied. He took the opportunity and leaned over to his friend, “Speakin’ of y/n, anything going on there? Y’know, anything special?”

“Uhh- whaddya mean special?” Karl haphazardly, “We’re best friends. I think that’s pretty special.”

“No, idiot. I mean is there anything there besides just being best friends,” Chris paused for a second, “I dunno. I just noticed you’re different with them, man. You know you would never treat Nick or Alex the way you treated them.”

Karl paused, trying to think of a response but failing. He sighed, “Yeah, there’s definitely something there on my end. I mean, I’ve been attracted to them since we first met. I just don’t think they reciprocate it.”

“You never know if you don’t try. What’s the worst that can happen?”

“I’d rather not think about it,” Karl sunk into his seat, thinking of all the bad endings that could happen if he told y/n his feelings.

***

Meanwhile this was happening, y/n was making themselves comfortable in Karl’s guest room. They planned on staying for a week and a half which meant packing a month’s worth of clothes. Before starting to unpack their things into the dresser, they FaceTimed their other best friend that was back in New York to keep them company.

“You’re calling me now? Your flight landed 4 hours ago! I was sure you crashed in the middle of the ocean - gone like that Malaysia flight,” y/bff answered.

“Hi to you too,” y/n responded as they started to place their clothes in the closet, “ You are so dramatic. My flight didn’t even go over the ocean. And don’t act like you weren’t tracking my flight. You knew damn well I was fine.”

“All this worrying and caring, and this is how I’m being treated?” Y/bff shook their head as the wiped their fake tears away “The disrespect.”

“Pft, the only disrespect I’m seeing here is the lack of questions about my day,” y/n said, “I had a great flight. I got those yummy blue chips and had a nice drive from the airport in a Tesla.”

Y/bff gasped, “What kind of Uber driver is driving around a Tesla? We need more of those people up here.”

“Dude, it was Karl,” y/n replied, “I was shocked. Last time I saw this kid he was driving a hunk of junk. One year down here and he’s driving around like he’s Elon Musk.”

“Well, I’ll tell you this now. If you don’t cuff him, I will!” Their laugh echoed through the phone

Y/n rolled their eyes, “Oh please, if he doesn’t like me like that then you’re in no good luck.”

“So you told him then?”

“No, not yet,” y/n paused, “I dunno. We’ve been friends for 3, almost 4, years now. If he liked me, he would’ve said something by now. Plus we live so far away from each other now. I just don’t wanna ruin a good thing, y’know?”

“Well, I still say do it. You can tell him and spend your life in peace knowing his answer, or keep it to you yourself and spend the rest of your life wondering ‘what if?’ And I’ll tell you now, the latter always ends with regret. With the first answer, you’ll at least have a chance of a happy ending.”

Y/n shrugged, putting away the last piece of clothing from their luggage, “I know, I know. I’ll think about it. Thanks for the chat, but I’m gonna go relax now before he gets back. I love and miss you already.”

They exchanged their goodbyes and hung up. Y/n flattened their luggage and slid it under the bed. Moving back to the dresser, they found some comfortable clothes to change into after a shower.

Y/n knew y/bff was right. They just couldn’t bring themselves to share their feelings. What if Karl didn’t feel the same way? Would it ruin their friendship? Would this be the last time they ever saw each other? No, y/n knew it wouldn’t end their friendship, but it would make it awkward for a little while. They moved to the bathroom. Maybe a shower would help them compose their thoughts.

***

“I’m back!” Karl shouted as he kicked the door shut behind him. The project took a few hours so the sun had set and nighttime was settling itself in North Carolina. There was no response. Karl continued, “And I have Burger King fries!”

“You should’ve started out with that! Coming!” Y/n yelled from down the hall. Karl rolled his eyes and walked over to the living room table. He started making room for the food when he heard fast footsteps coming toward him.

“Incoming!” Y/n yelled, tackling him to the floor with a hug. They were giggling as if they just pulled the best prank in the world.

“Hi to you too,” he groaned from his body hitting the floor. Y/n continued to chuckle as they got up, grabbing Karl’s hand to help him up too. They sat on the couch, looking at the food in front of them.

“A whole whopper meal? What did I do to get the honors, Mr. Jacobs?” Y/n remarked in a posh accent, popping a fry into their mouth.

“You existed,” Karl giggled out. Y/n smiled, but the butterflies in their stomach couldn’t feign their excitement. It was small shit like that that made y/n fall for Karl. He continued, “Plus I didn’t know if you ate or not so I thought better safer than sorry.”

“Aw, you’re the sweetest,” they gave him a tight hug before returning to the spot they were in on the couch, “So, what’s the plan, Stan?”

“I’m kind of tired from filming, I hope you don’t mind-”

“Actually, I completely mind” y/n replied sarcastically. Karl shook his head at them.

“So, I was thinking we could just watch a movie or watch a show,”

“Ah yes, head empty activities. I’m down. Can we watch a movie though? Not in the mood for a show right now,” y/n replied.

“Sure let’s scroll through and find something,” Karl switched on the TV and the two munched on their food while they decided what they were going to watch. After 20 minutes of scrolling, which really was 20 minutes of fighting over who had better taste in movies, they finally agreed on Wall-E.

Before the movie started, y/n looked over to Karl. Their hands were in the shape of finger guns, pointed to each other and the tips of their index fingers touching. They had a pout on their face when they asked, “Can we cuddle while we watch?”

“No,” Karl shook his head quickly, keeping a stoic, straight face. Y/n’s pout got bigger. He continued, “I absolutely hate physical touch.”

They both immediately broke out into giggles, y/n grabbing the nearest pillow and smacking him with it, “You are so lame.”

Karl continued with his fit of giggle, “The day I say that and mean it is the day hell freezes over.”

As the intro to the movie played, the two came closer, y/n’s legs tangling up with Karl’s. When they finished up their food, they moved closer with Karl’s arm around y/n’s shoulders and their head laying on his chest.

Y/n gave a playful scoff, reminiscing on their past memories together, “This reminds me of the time we had a Disney movie marathon before spring break.”

Karl laughed, “Yeah, and you made my old roommate cry beforehand because he wasn’t doing his dishes all semester.”

“In my defense, I gave him warnings. He didn’t wanna listen and there’s no way I was letting you live in a house with a sink full of fruit flies.”

“I’m not sure if you did that for me or because you practically lived with us.”

“Don’t get it mixed up, pretty boy. That was for you.” Karl smiled at those words, looking down at the person laying on their chest. He wanted to believe there was more than friendship behind those words. The warm feeling he would always get with them filled his chest as he turned his focus back to the movie.

“I really missed you.” He whispered.

“I really missed you too.”

***

Part 2

[adzuki-ren]

Wish Upon a Twilight

Title: Wish Upon a Twilight [Read on AO3] Series: Haikyuu!! Characters: Kuroo Tetsurou, Bokuto Koutarou, Hinata Shouyou (mentioned), Kozume Kenma (mentioned) Pairing(s): BoKuroo, KenHina (mentioned) Rating: Teens (mild swearing) Word Count: 2320 Additional Notes: Fantasy AU, Romeo x Juliet AU, Soulmates, but not necessarily a Soulmates AU, it’s just being discussed, Pre-Relationship, kuroo has it bad, just to be clear bokuroo aren't Romeo and Juliet, but this is still about them, sorry for the big disappoint Summary: Kuroo had never really thought about soulmates, what they were, and what it meant to have one, least of all if he had one. There were more pressing matters, like trying to make it out of the war alive, or at the very least, protect his liege till his very last breath.

It’s only from a simple conversation with his partner and comrade, coming out of seemingly nowhere, that gets him to wonder…

For BoKuroo Week 2020 on Twitter (Day 2 Prompt: Soulmates)

A/N: Apologizing in advance because this short fic is probably gonna make sense to absolutely nobody, but in case you’re interested, you can check out my notes about this sloppily put-together AU. The TLDR of it is that Kenma and Hinata are Romeo and Juliet, and they are Kuroo’s and Bokuto’s lieges respectively. Kuroo and Kenma are still childhood friends.

I haven’t written in a while, and I’m still trying to figure out what my writing style is, so sorry if it’s a janky read.

Bokuto was quiet. Bokuto was never, if not almost always, ever this quiet. He had been for nearly the entire day now, ever since…

Kuroo should have been making good use of his time; Time: a luxury they most certainly could not afford, not when they were finally able to rally enough support to launch the rebellion against the Nekoma clan, not when they were constantly fleeing from enemy troops and always needed to be prepared to defend and strike within a moment’s notice, not when Shouyou had finally taken up the banner in the name of Karasuno, taken up the fight he never wanted, riding on nothing but his convictions and hopes of a swift end to the war with the fewest possible casualties.

What he should be doing at the moment was sharpen his blades, on any chance that they were confronted by a surprise assault. If he was to best serve his liege (his friend, his family), he must always have the proper means to do it; ensuring that his tools were at the utmost optimal condition was a crucial part of fulfilling that role.

So then, why was something so trivial, like his usually loud-mouthed comrade-in-arms suddenly becoming quieter than a still midsummer’s night, such a distraction?

Even if he hadn’t looked over at the corner of his eye, Kuroo knew that he and said companion were doing the same. Their sights had never left Kenma and Shouyou, not once since they had fled the capital together that stormy night and had seen many skirmishes since, had seen to it that they got out of them alive.

And that remained true even as they discovered this small, quiet town, far, far away from the capital, and the lush clearing lying just a little way up north. Only, instead of vassals, at that moment, they were more of mere onlookers, watching their charges wade through tall blades of grass dyed in the warm oranges of the softly setting sun.

It should have been fitting for the moment. Amidst all the fighting, they had finally found for themselves a moment of respite. He, Bokuto, and their allies could use this time to treat their wounds, brace themselves physically and mentally for the many battles that awaited. Kuroo’s eyes followed his liege and he wasn’t sure if the smile that formed in his mind had ever reached his lips. Kenma had taken his dragon steed along with him, and he hadn’t let go of Shouyou’s hand even once.

At least someone was finding peace in these times, Kuroo mused; because even when he was supposed to take this moment to rest, he found that couldn’t, at least not until he figured out what the hell was going on in his partner’s head.

And as if the timing couldn’t have been any better, any words he had prepared were abruptly cut off by one simple question.

“Do you believe in soulmates?”

Bokuto blurted the words in one breath, even gasping out a little, all as if to push the words out of his mouth before his brain had the chance to take them back. Kuroo blinked twice. He was taken aback, to say the least, though whether it was from the question itself or the fact that this was what Bokuto mulled over, he didn’t know.

But it seemed that he wouldn’t even be given the chance to ruminate over it, because as quickly as Bokuto had asked, he threw in a hurried but mumbled, “Never mind, it’s a dumb question.”

Kuroo sighed. Shaking his head, he gently placed a hand on Bokuto’s shoulder. “Hey, I haven’t even said anything yet. And no one’s saying anything about it being dumb.” He hoped Bokuto understood from his tone and comforting gesture that he was willing to listen. (In truth, he would always be ready to lend his ear to his most trusted partner if it meant putting him at ease and returning that radiant smile to his face.)

Bokuto deflated somewhat but decided he’d rather pout instead. It was this contrast of Bokuto as the strong, courageous warrior that he was in one second, only to transform into a big, sulking child the next that would never fail to amuse Kuroo. And it was moments like these, small and insignificant they may be, that he could feel in his chest that familiar tickle of mirth and affection that came from just being around Bokuto.

Seeing that Bokuto had lost some spirit in him and was less than likely to interrupt him again, Kuroo hummed, “I haven’t ever really given it any thought.” Whatever thoughts that began to take shape in his mind were quickly brushed aside as Kuroo’s eyes trailed back to Kenma and Shouyou. The pair had wandered further towards the cliff overlooking the sea and its crashing waves, but could still be made out within their line of sight. He could see that their hands were still linked, and then all at once, it struck him; when Bokuto had started to grow quiet, why he asked about soulmates—Kuroo might just have stumbled upon their roots.

He turned back to Bokuto to give him his long-awaited answer. “I don’t not believe they exist.”

One glance and Kuroo could tell he’d already lost him. He continued, “If being soulmates just means that there might be some otherworldly or spiritual force out there, someway or somehow connecting them, then yeah, I don’t think it’s that far-fetched. Okay, maybe not the otherworldly stuff. But,” he paused briefly, tapping his chin in mild contemplation, “Kenma and I have been together for before I can even remember. For all I know, he could’ve been my soulmate this entire time. Who said bonds couldn’t be formed between souls as close as family?”

Kuroo didn’t think his rambling would earn him much of a reaction, but he was able to catch the subtle widening of Bokuto’s eyes. And because he was such an open book, Kuroo could already tell from his furrowed brows that Bokuto had something he wanted to say, but it would be Kuroo who got to cut him off before getting to say his piece this time.

“But,” and he looked back to Bokuto, only to be met with those striking golds, bright and clear with a curious mixture of bewilderment and expectation, “That’s not what you wanted to hear, was it?”

Bokuto jerked back visibly, which meant he’d hit a bull’s-eye. Kuroo chuckled lightly, this time inviting Bokuto’s gaze to join his own with a simple nod towards the general direction of their lieges. More often than not, Bokuto was dumb as a sack of potatoes, but he decided to put a little faith in his dearest comrade, letting him know that they were on the same page with the knowing looks they’d just exchanged.

Bokuto let out a sigh he didn’t know he was holding in, with the dejected look of someone who had just admitted defeat. He was being so dramatic, as always. He finally spoke up again, though his voice was still quiet with uncertainty, “It’s just that when I look at them, I can’t help but think…”

(And Kuroo wanted so badly to make a quick jab at that (“You? Think?”), but thought better of it and refrained.)

Bokuto’s last words were left hanging, but it was fine. Even if neither of them finished those thoughts, they didn’t need to when it was the same, now just hanging heavily in the chilly air around them. Can a love like that truly exist?

The conversation was already strewn with gaps of acknowledged silence, and it wasn’t as though either was trying to fill them in. Their words flowed and ebbed with the push-and-pull of the exchange, and just as natural as the tides, some things were best left to the course of that flow. So the somewhat-confession that followed surprised Kuroo and didn’t all at once.

“I wonder if I’ll ever be lucky enough to find mine...” Bokuto uttered in a bit of a pensive daze, and then added a bit more optimistically, turning to Kuroo expectantly, “I’m a lucky guy, right? I mean, I escaped death more times than I can count!”

Peace and harmony and all things good and natural between them be damned, that still didn’t excuse these instances where he was asking for the life to be wrung from his neck for saying crap like this. The bastard had the gall to even laugh about it?

Instead, Kuroo did the less merciless thing and gave him a hard shove, intending for it to come off playfully, but still gaining some sort of petty satisfaction, snickering inwardly from seeing Bokuto catch himself from nearly toppling over.

“Psh, yeah, because I was there to save your ass, dumbass.”

And what does he do? He laughs it off. Again.

Kuroo’s hand was two centimeters away from making impact on his friend’s dense skull. Bokuto needed to learn how to look a little more ashamed, or at least pretend to look embarrassed.

He let out a loud sigh of exasperation but decided to backpedal to their focus, his tone taking a sudden solemn turn. “You and I both know full well that it wasn’t good fortune that brought them together.” Not with all the suffering they both had to endure, just to see each other again.

The last trickles of Bokuto’s laughter ran dry and he was quiet again, thankfully only for a fraction of the time he’d been all day. Bokuto faced him again, and any trace of annoyance Kuroo may have had left instantly melted.

For the short time they’ve spent together, Kuroo thought he knew Bokuto like someone he’d known his whole life, someone he’d fought with for what felt like ages. But it was times like these that he learned Bokuto was still so full of surprises.

“Lucky or not, I’m just really happy you’re here.”

His smile was just as blinding as the first time. Not their first meeting ending with the two shaking on a truce thrust upon them (one that should never have been possible); lips were drawn in taught lines, courteous on the surface, but thinly veiled the wariness, bordering distrust. (Though neither of them imagined they would eventually come to embrace that truce as an oath inherited from their lieges.)

No, it wasn’t until the first time, gathered by the crackling campfire to fight the night’s biting winds, Kuroo made a witty retort and Bokuto excitedly interjected with an idiotic remark of his own, sending them both into loud, raging fits of laughter with seemingly no end to obnoxious cackles, desperate gasps for air, and clutched stomachs. And when Kuroo caught his breath and looked back to Bokuto wiping away a single tear, the first thought his brain should have supplied him with was that he knew they’d get along just fine. It should have only been something that simple.

But all Kuroo could think about were the tiny crinkles around his eyes, specks of gold peeking through thin slits, cheeks dusted in the blush of dawn (and looked just as warm to touch), and those lips (oh, those lips) stretched out in the widest smile he had ever remembered seeing. And all were accompanied by light, airy jingles of laughter; as if everything else wasn’t already enough to send him spiraling into an existential crisis. He simply glowed.

Bathed in a pool of twilight like this now, Kuroo realized Bokuto had never stopped glowing.

“Thank you for always having my back.”

And with those honeyed words dripping with the sweetest sincerity, Kuroo’s entire heart leapt into his throat, choking him speechless. In terms of looks, he must have rivaled a gaping fish with the way he kept opening and shutting his mouth, too.

Kuroo returned his gaze towards the sun dipping into the horizon, now just glossing over the lovers in the distance. “Yeah, sure,” he mumbled with as much indifference he could muster, not that it would do anything to hide the telltale signs of the blush creeping up his cheeks.

Bokuto just chuckled, the sound ringing pleasantly into the warm dusk air. It somehow managed to once again invade Kuroo’s thoughts, along with the very seed Bokuto had sown earlier. Unless he entertained it, it might just fester.

What about me? Would I ever…?

But as quickly as the thought formed, he quashed it. The more he dwelled on it, the more trifling it seemed.

(Because when Bokuto was standing right by his side like this, so close within his reach, he only had one selfish wish.)

The sun had just set, though whether it was a few minutes or hours ago, Kuroo had lost track. Time was lost on him, and sometime during it all, the space between them had vanished and Kuroo felt the weight of Bokuto’s head on his shoulder; or rather, he would have if his partner had been notably shorter. The sight was ridiculous, no doubt, with Bokuto’s head propped at an angle against the side of Kuroo’s.

They looked silly and he should feel silly, yet, all he could feel was the stir in his heart. The gesture was incredibly endearing, and Kuroo had given up trying to recall when he’d first yielded his heart to Bokuto. They most definitely looked ridiculous, but he could care less, so he laid his own head atop Bokuto’s. Standing in a familiar and comfortable silence, Kuroo really should have been more surprised by the less familiar, but equally comfortable, faint beating of hearts.

He longed for many, many more of these days to come. When all of this, all the fighting was over, maybe one day they could have that peaceful life.

And when he felt Bokuto’s hand quietly slip into his, he squeezed back gently and didn’t need to wish for anything else.

Thank you for reading! Again, sorry for the lack of context. I’m not super happy with how it came out but I just love Bokuroo so much and if it wasn’t sappy enough, then clearly I have failed in my mission. Please come scream Bokuroo, KenHina, or Haikyuu (anime-only tho) to me here or Twitter! The To the Top-shaped hole in my heart needs to be filled. ;-;

[sinakakyralih]

[for Sinaka] The Lovers in Reverse: When has your character experienced heartbreak?

Sinaka hasn’t had one great heartbreak so much as hundreds of little ones, just tiny papercuts that, every once and a while, hurt so much it can make her stop dead in her tracks. 

The start of everything was in the aftermath of the Calamity. As a White Mage she had been at the forefront of attempting to heal the wounded, and so saw hundreds of faces that morning and into the day, none of them his. He was not among the Thaumaturge’s care, either, and this gave her hope that he was alive.

In the following days, that hope became desperation as she searched for him all across the continent, braving the changing landscape and unseasonable weather, the earth quakes, and the crystals that erupted from the ground like full grown trees as she searched everywhere he had connection to. That he was nowhere crushed her, but that she could not search his home of Ishgard beyond the Coerthas borderlands fueled that hope, forging it into something nearly unbreakable that took up residence in her heart like a dense metal box.

Sitting in the Quicksand for days on end as survivors shuffled in to be embraced by their families, or as mourners were given official statements of death - that cut at her, but that he didn’t show up didn’t mean he was dead, and so she couldn’t let him go, only suffer with her ignorance of him.

He existed within her in that state - neither alive nor dead, simply inexplicably absent, and that meant she could not mourn him. She could never let him go, and so every reminder of him cut into her hope-forged heart to leave those little cuts that never healed over.

Five years after the Calamity, when Sinaka left the Sanctum of the Twelve to return to adventuring and heard rumors of adventurers lost in the Battle of Carteneau suddenly returning, that hard little lump in her chest only grew more insistent, and as time went on it just cut into her more and more with every disappointment. Reconnecting with the Scions? Maybe they’ve heard rumors of him - but they hadn’t. Returning to Ul’dah? Momodi might have picked up on some information - but she hadn’t.

Making new friends and forging a Free Company helped her move on with her life and try out new things, to grow as a person and as a leader and live her life with happiness and joy, but every now and again - like when returning to Coerthas, or to Mor Dhona, or a familiar campsite in the North Shroud - she would find herself on that precipice time and time again, hyperaware of Sol’s absence, of her loss, at once accepting that he was dead and gone while berating herself for thinking such a thing without proof, driving herself to paralysis until she could stuff it all back inside and lock the confusion away, moving past it as she had no answers and just dealing with it. After nearly two years, she was almost at peace with it…

and then Ishgard opened its doors to her, and that hope swelled and died a hundred times within the city, and then a hundred times more beyond it. Every chance of seeing him, every disappointment of not… being where he could have been for the past seven years drove her to emotional highs and lows that she never imagined existed, and the crushing feeling that sat with her as she looked back after the close of the Dragonsong War finally made her realize she had to let him go, alive or not.

That, then, would be the time her heart truly broke. Huddled up small and alone, talking to a linkshell that hadn’t been activated in seven years, pleading with it to answer her. Finally she gave up on him, finally she forced herself to accept it - Soliel Chastain-Chevalier was dead, and he wasn’t coming back. She cried out her pain, emptying out her paper-cut heart so it could be remade.

…and yet she still has that linkshell.

TLDR SINAKA’S “LOVE LIFE” NEVER GOT OFF THE GROUND AND HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT ONE GIGANTIC DRAWN-OUT HEARTBREAK SESSION KEPT IN PLAY WITH EQUAL PARTS STUBBORNNESS AND HOPE the end.

♥♥♥ thank you @alannah-corvaine for the question! SORRY I WROTE A BOOK ON STUFF THAT YOU’VE PROBABLY AT LEAST GLANCED AT ON HER PAGE BEFORE ^^’’’