#tmi but my dog was sleeping on my lap while i was working on this

[chloe-elizabeth-price]

0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 16 17 18 20 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 37 38 40 41 42 43 and 44

Wow, almost all of them, huh, @annoyinglyuniquebread? I’ll put it under a read-more as to not hit everyone with walls of text but read if ya feel like it…Okay, here we go!

0. Height 

I’m 5′1 just like Carrie Fisher/Princess Leia!

1. Age

I’m 21, but my birthday is in February so pretty soon I’ll be feelin’ 22! *Dances horrendously*

2. Shoe Size

 I’m a 5 in US sizes I think…?

3. Do you smoke?

I do not

4. Do you drink?

Well yes, it’s important to stay hydrated kids, my drink of choice is coke or tea…But I assume this is asking if I drink alcohol which I do not do

5. Do you take drugs?

Once again I assume this is referring to illegal drugs and not meds, I do not do any of those. However I do take antidepressants and sleeping pills for my anxiety-related insomnia/the occasional anxiety-suppressor.

6. Age you get mistaken for?

As I’m pretty short and thin (+ you tend to look smaller in a wheelchair which i occasionally use) I’d say people tend to assume I’m a lot younger than I am. If asked my age most people tend to guess around 15, or at least they did when I was in my late teens, no one has guessed my age in a while so maybe i look older these days? idk lol

7. Have tattoos?

I do have a tiny lightening bolt on my wrist, it’s a Harry Potter reference/a symbol for my general love of stories.

8: Want any tattoos?

I do definitely want more tattoos in the future, I haven’t really decided on placements yet but I know that I want a Buffy-B (a B in the Btvs-font) on my other wrist so that my two fandom tattoos can match in placements. I also want a fox somewhere and “fearless” in Taylor Swift’s handwriting to remind me of her brilliant definition of the word: (”To me, fearless is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. To me, fearless is having fears. fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death.”)   which I think will help with my anxiety. Those are a few of the tattoos I know that I want to get at some point, but there’s always room for more options since I really like the idea of a lot of tattoos!

9: Got any piercings?

Nope, not even pierced ears

10: Want any piercings?

Not really, no

11: Best friend?

@gay-grandma

12: Relationship status?

Single, sapphic and sad

13: Biggest turn ons?

As far as personality and little things go I’d say people who listen and respect my opinions and my view of a situation, but also aren’t afraid to say what they think/voice their opinions I guess. Also like, when people are genuine with their affection and you can tell that they just genuinely care for you I guess? Geez this sounds cheesy! As for physically, I’m gonna say collarbones…Is that weird? I feel like that’s weird…Not necessarily seeing collar bones (malnutrition isn’t sexy, kids!) but just like biting or kissing them I don’t even know! Maybe I have a few kinks too, but this is already officially TMI and I’m gonna stop………..   

14: Biggest turn offs?

Bigoted or small-minded people honestly, nope not gonna interact!

16: I’ll love you if…

You respect me, seduce me with your nerdiness and/or let me introduce you to nerdy stuff (Movies/shows/books/games etc) I like and most importantly, genuinely seem to like me tbh, I don’t ask for much…

17: Someone you miss

I live pretty far away from my family for school so I find myself almost constantly missing them and my dog :( Also you and your stupidly pretty face, @annoyinglyuniquebread I can’t believe it’s gonna be so long until I get to see you!

18: Most traumatic experience?

Probably something emotionally abusive at the hands of my biological dad or his wife but honestly I’ve repressed most of it and I don’t really wanna talk about that sooooo………*shudders* Anywayyyy

20: What I hate most about myself?

Too many things to list to be honest. I’m not trying to sound negative, but I do have a lot of issues when it comes to how I view myself, but I am working on them and am hoping to be getting to a place where I can honestly say that I don’t think I suck in the near future, wish me luck!

22: What I want to be when I get older?

Author! I wanna write, write write! If ONE kid picks up a book I’ve written and it helps them in any way at all or sparks that love of stories in them that has become my own driving force, then my goal in life has been achieved!

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

Okay, so I have 4 siblings, two older sisters and two younger brothers. My relationship to my sisters are pretty much your standard sibling-situation, we grew up together and occasionally we wanted to murder each other, but most of the time we got along and now as adults we’re all pretty close even though I live far away. My brothers are a more complicated situation, due to my nonexistent relationship with my biological father I haven’t actually seen my little bros in years, I hope that we’ll be able to have some type of relationship one day, but as long as they live with dad I don’t see that as possible, although I love them and would love to be a proper big sib to them someday!

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

My mom is absolutely one of the most important people in my life, I love spending time with her and she’s the one I go to first if any problem, big or small arises in my life, we’ve always been extremely close and she’s quite simply my best friend. My step-dad (who I tend to refer to as dad most of the time) has been in my life since I was 4 and he’s more of a father to me than my biological dad (who i don’t even view as my ‘dad’ at all) ever was or could ever be. I love him with all my heart, he’s the best and one of the funniest people I know! I’d say generally I’m very, very close to both of my parents and they’re both extremely important to me and here I am getting sappy at 2AM. 

25: My idea of a perfect date

Movie/Show marathon and cuddling with snacks tbh

26: My biggest pet peeves

When the cover/general appearance of a book on my shelf doesn’t match what the rest of the books in that series look like…All my books have to match if they’re part of the same series or I freak the fuck out honestly! That’s really the only pet peeve I can think of at the moment.

27: A description of the girl/boy I like

I kinda really like @annoyinglyuniquebread but don’t tell her, it’d just get to her pretty head and she’d probably tease me about it and I’m shy!

28: A description of the person I dislike the most

Wow, has someone told the oversized cheeto running America that he has a giant dead cat on his head yet orrrrr…?

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend?

I can’t think of a specific situation in which I’ve done this just now, but chances are if you’re my friend I’ve probably lied to you and told you I was sick so I wouldn’t have to hang out with you that day, it’s not that I don’t WANNA hang out, I love you I promise…it’s just my very awkward introverted ass not being sure how to tell you that I need to reschedule because my social battery is drained and that I am going to physically explode if I have to be around humans for the next few days, without sounding like a hermit and/or hurting your feelings soooo…Yeah, sorry about that!

30: What I hate the most about work/school?

That it ruins the fun of learning with all those deadlines and gives me performance anxiety about stuff I’d normally be good at/comfortable with doing…

31: What my last text message says?

“Night, I love you

32: What words upset me the most?

Any type of uninformed, ignorant hate speech, when someone is being bigoted in my presence it always makes me feel like I want to scream and/or cry 

33: What words make me feel the best about myself?

When people compliment my hair, clothes or writing it really makes my day every time without fail! Also when people use my chosen name and pronoun it makes me feel like I could take on the whole world on my own and win, so thank you SO much to everyone in my life who make an effort to do that every day!!

34: What I find attractive in women?

Um, everything about them, i mean have you SEEN girls??? I love being a lesbian; ladies, you’re all so beautiful I wanna squeal just thinking about it!

35: What I find attractive in men?

Them being Harrison Ford. If you are male, but not Mr. Ford I’m sorry but I’m simply not attracted to you at all and won’t date you. Sorry men, I don’t make the rules. However, if you’re reading this, Harrison from ca 1980 (why would you be?) hit me up!

37: One of my insecurities?

Too many to list again, but like I said, I am working on that! 

38: My childhood career choice

Author, not much has changed, huh? I’ve actually known what I want to be since I was like 5.

40: Who I wish I could be?

A happier, more secure version of myself…Or you know Han Solo/Veronica Mars/Kim Possible, that works too!

41: Where I want to be right now?

Right at this moment I’m pretty happy here under the covers in my big comfy bed listening to Taylor Swift with my laptop in my lap and answering all these questions. Even though I’m having a pretty bad case of insomnia I feel pretty content, a little hungry tho…Think I’m gonna go make noodles and finish Stranger Things when I’m done answering these! 

42: The last thing I ate

Some salted caramel chocolate a while ago, it was delicious!

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately?

Well I’d be cheating on my wife if I didn’t say Sarah Michelle Gellar, wouldn’t I? Although there are a few other candidates as well…

44: A random fact about anything

Did you guys know that @annoyinglyuniquebread aka Bella is really cute and awesome and great at holding hands? Well, if you didn’t there’s a random fact for ya!

Wow, that sure was a lot of questions, but it was fun to answer them all! Thanks for sending them, Bella

[josephstoontown]

And Never Brought to Mind

A Joseph's ToonTown story.

So… this started as a non-canon thing… but, somehow, it ended fitting right in with my current storyline, regardless.  I'm a bit baffled… but, kind of okay, with that. (Ship happens when you least suspect it, I guess...)

And with that… we have caught up to the current timeline (as of the time of me posting this)!

Word count: 6,638 – Character count: 41,010 Originally written: December 11th, 2016 Very-slightly revised: January 14th, 2017 Revised further: August 28th, 2017

After a New Year's party at Joe's Diner, an unlikely pair learn a bit about each other.

The House of Mouse and related characters and properties created by and © The Walt Disney Company Winnie Woodpecker, Woody Woodpecker, The Woody Woodpecker Show, and related characters and properties created by and © Walter Lantz Productions

[ ↶ Prev. Story | �� Prev. Chapter | Next Chapter → | Next Story ↷ ]

    2 AM in ToonTown… though, if it wasn’t for the darkness, you’d be hard-pressed to notice.  The town was still jumping with the sights and sounds of the New Year’s celebrations.  Fireworks were being launched into the air – and, occasionally, at a random passerby – the streets were filled with ‘toons and even a handful of humans looking for a fun, and even the more animated ‘toon buildings seemed to be having a good time.     The biggest place of interest that night seemed to be far north in the Disney District.  The House of Mouse was hosting its annual New Year’s event, complete with aforementioned fireworks, food, shows, and attractions galore with all of the proceeds going to charity, as usual, and it’s festivities were going well past midnight with no end in sight.  However, not everyone in ToonTown seemed to be drawn there.  Some, instead, preferred smaller venues at various places in town.  Three individuals, in particular, were just returning home from one such party…

    “How did I let you guys talk me into drinkin’ so much?” asked a redheaded woodpecker wearing a green Christmas sweater and plain, red skirt.  She was grinning across her beak with wavering eyelids, staring over at another redheaded woodpecker in a similar sweater and oversized Santa hat.     “‘cause, how could’ja say no t’ us?” was his slurred reply, a similar-looking grin showing on his own beak.  “Ain’t tha’ right, bood-row?”     He seemed to be talking to the figure walking between the two of them; a much taller figure who looked considerably less ‘toony.  The golden-furred fox in the green, hooded sweatshirt and black jeans looked down at the male woodpecker, giving an odd giggle.

    While it was pretty normal for ‘toons to be silly and make jokes, any “funny behavior” from the trio seemed practically involuntary, that night.  It was clear that they were all quite drunk, given their slight stagger and odd speech, but all they wanted to do was return home after a night of celebration together, laughing and recalling the events of the night as best they could.

    “Oh, ya should’a seen it, Winnie,” the male woodpecker said as he retrieved his keys from a pocket in his feathers.  “I’ve never seen a brighter shade’a red than what Joey turned when that lizardy lady kissed him!”     “Have ya tried lookin’ in the mirror?” the girl replied with a sloppy smirk.     “No?  Why?”     Winnie looked up at the fox and the two just grinned to each other, leaving Woody mystified as he unlocked his apartment door.

    “Make yerself at home, Winnie!” he said as he sauntered in.  “I gotta go use the can!”     “TMI, Woody!” she replied, sticking her tongue out.     “I didn’t even say what I was gonna do!”     “I don’t wanna know!”     “I wasn’t gonna say!”     “Just go, already!” Winnie finally said, shooing him away.     “I have ta get to the bathroom, first!” was his response.     It was hard to tell if he was being a smart aleck or just too drunk to think…  Either way, he stumbled his way into the bathroom.  A moment later, the sound of one very relieved woodpecker, as well as what sounded like Niagara Falls being unleashed, could be heard.

    “Guess he really did have t’ go…” the fox said, finally speaking up.     “I’m not cleanin’ that up!” Winnie commented with slight disgust.  She seemed to be looking at a slightly-moistened part of the rug situated right next to the bathroom door.     “S’a’right, Winnie,” the taller figure replied.  “We can worry ‘bout it, later…  ‘less th’ door pops open ‘r somethin’…”     The female made a face at that.  “Groooss…!”     “Anyway… your place is my place,” the fox said, getting his idioms reversed as he wandered into the kitchenette of the apartment.  “Can I get’cha some’n t’ drink?”     “Some iced tea’d be lovely, Joseph,” was Winnie’s reply as she walked into the living room and hopped onto the couch.     “I’m glad Woody invited you over,” she could hear him muse as he retrieved some drinks.  “Yer pretty cool.”     “You, too, fluffy,” she giggled, turning on the television across the room.  “What’cha wanna watch?  There’s still some Christmas movies playin’ on th’ movie channels ’n New Year’s celebrations ‘cross the world on th’ networks… ‘n, of course, cartoons on th’ cartoon channels.”     “Eh, doesn’t matter, t’ me.  I don’t think I’ll be awake that much longer, anyway…”     “I know what’cha mean…” Winnie said with a grin.  “That Spydor guy makes a mean drunk… er, drink.”     “That Spydor guy’s mean when he’s sober…” Joseph chuckled as he returned to the living area.  “He was downright crazy, drunk!”     The woodpecker giggled again as she accepted her can of iced tea from the fox.     “He was nice t’ me…” she mused.     “That’s ‘cause yer a girl,” was his response.  He chuckled a little, settling down next to her with a can of cola in his hand, paying attention as Winnie spoke, again.     “But, that deer lady was a lady ‘n he was mean t’ her!”     Joseph couldn’t help but keep chuckling.  “That’s ‘cause he works with her…”     “I’m nice t’ my co-workers…”  Winnie gave a hiccup.  “Aren’t you?”     “I work with Woody.  Who’s my boss, technically.”  He gave a smirk to the grinning woodpecker.  “You tell me.”     “Did someone call my name?!”     Both Winnie and Joseph looked over toward the bathroom just in time to see the door fly open, swinging and smashing against the adjacent wall.  Judging by the pose he’d taken, as well as the two-toed footprint on the door itself, Woody had kicked it.  Pretty hard, at that…

    “C’mon, was that really necess–”     “Paarrr-tay!!” the woodpecker interrupted before running over and frog-splashing himself on the two bodies seated at the couch.     “Gah!  Woody!” Joseph said with a gasp.  “What the heck?”     “Th’ night’s still young,” Woody enthusiastically said to the duo, “‘n I feel refreshed!  Let’s go out ‘n make th’ most of it!”

    Before either of them could respond, Woody did a backflip off their laps and landed on his feet at the far armrest.  Immediately after, he started pumping his fist and began an enthusiastic chant of, “Dusk-’til-dawn!  Dusk-’til-dawn!”     “Woody!” Joseph protested.  “We have work tomorrow ‘n–”     “Dusk-’til-dawn!  Dusk-’til-dawn!” he repeated as he headed toward the door.     “Maybe you should listen to him, Woody,” Winnie said as she stood up.  “I think–”     “Dusk-’til-dawn!  Dusk-’til–”     All of a sudden, the male woodpecker wobbled… then, he fell over backward!  Joseph got to his feet and joined Winnie as she knelt down beside the fallen ‘toon.     “What th’ Void happened?” he asked as she checked his vitals.     “I… I think he passed out!” she replied, sounding somewhat concerned.     “Passed out?  Well, he did drink a lot of ‘Spydor Cydors…’  No tellin’ what’s in ‘em..”     Winnie watched as the fox sighed before kneeling down farther, scooping the unconscious bird into his arms.     “What are ya doin’…?” Winnie quietly asked, tilting her head.     “Takin’ ‘im to th’ bedroom so ‘e can sleep off th’ alcohol.”     “Oh.”

    Winnie continued to watch as Joseph took Woody into the other room.  A moment later, he returned, quietly closing the door behind him.  Her curiosity piqued as then, instead of returning to the couch, he walked over to the bathroom.     “I’ll be back,” Joseph quietly commented before closing that door.  The woodpecker didn’t feel the need to ask what he was up to, at that point, instead deciding to return to her seat on the couch.

    “How’s your bladder doin’?” Joseph casually asked the female bird as he re-entered the area a few moments later.     “I’m fine,” she replied with a scowl, clearly not appreciating such a question.     “Guess you went b’fore we left,” the fox laughed, sitting back beside her.  “Ooh, what’s this on TV?”     There was a slight pause before Winnie, who was glaring at Joseph by then, answered.     “Disney’s runnin’ a New Year’s Day marathon of Goofy cartoons…” she said with some irritation.  “Ya know… that was a really intrusive question…”     “W-what?”  The fox’s ears perked and he gave a blink of his bloodshot, golden eyes, clearly confused.  “What was so intrusive about–”     “The other question…” she huffed.  “‘bout my bladder…”     “Oh…”  His ears fell back.  “Sorry…”     “S’okay…  Just… you could’ve asked it better.”     “How’s about… ‘Did you need to use the facilities, Winnie?’” he politely asked.  That caused the bird to softly smile, in return.     “No, but… thank you for asking.”     “A’right.”     The two settled back into the couch with their drinks, focusing on the television set, then.

    On the CRT picture tube was what looked to be a black, humanoid dog roughly Joseph’s height… or, maybe, a bit taller.  The dog, whose name Joseph assumed was “Goofy,” appeared to be wearing a suit of armor that was much too large for him.  He also seemed to be losing a fight against a cigar-smoking opponent wearing massive, black armor and wielding a mace.  Joseph also noticed that everyone in the cartoon appeared to be the same character… even the princess.     “Which one’s Goofy?” he asked.     “They all are,” Winnie replied with a smile.     “No, I mean… which one’s th’ character ‘Goofy?’”     “I don’t think any of ‘em are…  That one there’s named ‘Cedric,’ though.”     “So… this is a Goofy marathon without Goofy?”     “No, no…”  The woodpecker shook her head.  “This is a ‘Goofy’ cartoon… but, it’s part of a series where all the characters look like Goofy.”     The fox tilted his head.  “Why?”     Winnie paused for a moment, thinking about the question…     “Think it’s was durin’ his ‘Everyman’ years?  Somethin’ about societal satire…?  Um, there was a lotta cartoons with everyone bein’ Goofy.  L-look!  Here’s another one!”

    The two watched the next cartoon started up.  Rather than be set in a time of knights and jousting, though, it seemed to be set in modern day.  Apparently, Goofy – or rather, the central “Goofy” character – was having trouble sleeping after a hard day’s work.  A lot of trouble…  He seemed perfectly content to be the subject of various traditional and scientific methods of getting to sleep, ranging from sheep and milk… to more extreme methods involving convoluted machinery and uncomfortable-looking clothing.

    “Man… if that’s th’ real ‘Goofy,’” Joseph commented, “they didn’t pay ‘im enough for this ‘toon.  That’s some crazy stuff…!”     Winnie smiled up to her friend.  “I think Roger Rabbit said it best: ‘Nobody takes a wallop like Goofy!’”     “Yeah!  It’s almost like he was drawn t’ take abuse…”     “Aren’t all ‘toons?”     “Uh…”  The fox tilted his head at the question.  “Maybe…?”     “Well… okay, not all ‘toons…” Winnie mused.  “Some ‘r superheroes, after all!  Or… more realistic!  Like Scooby-Doo!”     “Scooby-who?” Joseph asked.     “Scooby-Doo!” she repeated with a giggle.  “He’s a goofy Great Dane who walks on all-fours – usually – and talks – kinda – like a person!”     “What’s a ‘Great Dane?’”     The woodpecker blinked her tired, blue eyes at that.     “Oh, yeah…  Yer not from ‘round here, are you?”     He shook his head.     “Well… it’s a big dog.  You could prob’ly ride ‘im like a horse!”     “Oh, a dog?  That, I know about.”

    “Okay, then!  Scooby-Doo is a big, brown dog that walks on all-fours, talks, ‘n solves mysteries.  He doesn’t get squashed by anvils ‘n stuff, though, like Goofy.”     “So… he’s somewhere between a Feral and a Hybrid?”     “Scooby isn’t feral!” Winnie exclaimed.  “He’s as tame as tame can be!”     “No, I mean…”  The fox gave a grunt.  “Never mind.  I’m usin’ Ragnarok words.”     The woodpecker raised both of her eyebrows at one word in particular.”     “‘Ragnarök?’  The final battle of Norse gods and the revival of the mortal world…?”     “N– no.  Ash damn it…”  He gave a frustrated huff.  “Ragnarok.  Planet Ragnarok.  Where I’m from.”     “O-oh…”  Winnie rubbed her face with gloved hands.  “S-sorry… I forgot.  Think th’ alcohol might be settin’ in…”     “Oh, it’s alright…” Joseph said as he ruffled the female’s feather-hair, causing her to giggle.  “Let’s just get back to this dog’s cartoons.”     “Sure!”

    The two continued to watch Goofy cartoons after their conversation, each sipping on their respective drinks and neither really paying the other any mind.  Somewhere around the sixth cartoon, however, Joseph noticed something…     “Winnie?”     The woodpecker squirmed against his side.  Her arms were crossed and her legs were daintily curled on the couch cushion.  Her head, however, was comfortably nestled against the fox’s side.  Winnie’s eyes were also closed, her face peaceful and relaxed as she rested.     Is she asleep…? Joseph thought…     “Winnie, hey,” he called a second time.     Again, she squirmed.  The second time, however, she slipped from his side and ended up half-flopping into his lap.  A moment later, her eyes slowly fluttered open.

    “Mm… hey,” was her first response.  “Did I fall asleep…?”     “Yep…” Joseph chuckled.     “Sorry…” she quietly giggled.  “You’re just so soft ‘n warm…”     “Didn’t say I minded…” he replied with a half-grin.  “Just… a little warning, next time you’re gonna use me as a pillow, huh?”     “‘kay…” she said in a soft, sweet voice.     Joseph watched as the bird sat up, stretching with a grunt.  She re-positioned herself against his side and snuggled in a second time, tucking her legs up flat against the cushions, again, and casually wrapping her arms around his body.  The fox tensed a little, at her behavior…     “Uh… what are you doing?” he asked again.     “Makin’ myself more comfortable?”  She looked up at the fox, her innocent, blue eyes looking into his.  “Is that okay, Joseph?”     “I…” was all the fox could say before he turned his head.  That made Winnie sit up and take on a look of slight worry.     “Did I do somethin’ wrong?” she nervously asked.     “I’m not drunk enough for this…”     Winnie’s eyes opened wide, from the statement.  “What…?”     Joseph looked back at the shorter figure, his ears folded and a frown on his face.  He seemed troubled…

    “Winnie, I…”  He hesitated again before continuing.  “You know I like you, right?”     She smiled.  “I like you, too, Joseph.”     “Right, but… like…”  He reached down, nudging a hand under her chin as he tilted his head down, looking into her eyes with a blush.  “I… like you…”     “O-oh?” the bird replied with a blush on her own face.  “And… you’re not drunk enough for what, exactly?”     The fox chuckled…  “I’m not drunk enough to let you take advantage of me,” he said, intending it as a joke.     “Take advantage of you…?” she replied, still innocently staring into his eyes.     “Yup…”     There was a slight pause between the two before Winnie spoke again.     “What do you mean, ‘take advantage of you?’”     “You know…” he said, still softly smiling with a blush.  “Hug you back…”     “Hugs ‘r nice…” Winnie said with a soft hiccup followed by a quiet giggle.     “And… cuddle you…”     “Soft, warm cuddles…” she continued to giggle, her eyelids lowering.     “And…”  Joseph paused…  “Kiss you…”     Winnie gave another pause of her own before repeating, “Kiss… me…?”     “If you insist.”

    Winnie’s eyes opened wide as she watched the fox lean inward.  However, the next thing she felt really surprised her…  The fox had indeed kissed her.  Except…     “What did…?” she quietly asked as she leaned back, placing a gloved hand to her cheek.     “I kissed you,” the fox said with a grin, his tail wagging.  “Just like you asked.”     Another awkward pause filled the room as the two stared at each other.

    “That wasn’t a kiss.”

    The fox’s eyebrows rose along with his ears.  He noticed that Winnie looked… annoyed with him!  But… not for the reason he’d been expecting.

    “I-I’m sorr–”     “That wasn’t a kiss!” the bird repeated, her face turning angry.  “That was a peck!  On th’ cheek!”     “I… uh…”     “If that’s how ya ‘kissed’ Shinko, it’s no wonder she got upset!”         Once again, the fox looked surprised.  And, that surprise… quickly turned to irritation.

    “Whoa.  Whoa.  Hang on a damn second,” he protested.  “Two things, lady.  First, that was way outta line!  ‘n, secondly… I uh…”     Joseph looked to one side, rubbing his arm.     “I… I don’t know how… to, uh… kiss you.”     It was Winnie’s turn to look surprised, again.  She tilted her head, her feathered hair slightly bouncing as she stared up at the fox.

    “You… don’t know how t’ kiss me?”     “I don’t know how to kiss…”  Joseph reached over, gently running a finger around the rim of her mouth.  “This.”     After another moment’s pause, the girl gave a giggle and ducked away from his hand.     “I’m a ‘toon, silly…” she said in a soft, understanding voice, a warm smile on her face and her eyes half-opened.  “Just kiss me like y’ would anyone else…”     The fox blushed at her words, giving a swallow…  “You’re really okay with this?”     “I just wanna see what it’s like…  I-if that’s okay,” she nervously giggled.     “I…  A-alright, sure…”

    Once again, Joseph nudged himself closer to the bird in the sweater and skirt.  Slowly, he leaned down toward her, his eyes looking into hers.  He could see that she was blushing… but, he had a feeling that he was blushing considerably harder…  There was another moment of hesitation… then, he closed his eyes, deciding to just go for it, before she changed her mind.     As the fox pressed his face up against the bird’s beak, he could feel it slowly conform to the front of his muzzle…  It even seemed to be making something of a seal, not unlike kissing another fox or similar species.  It was an odd… but, warm sensation.     Joseph’s ears perked as he heard the female emit a soft, pleasant noise…  Slowly, he opened his eyes… and, he found that Winnie’s eyes had closed.  He blinked a couple of times, feeling himself blush and become flustered.  It seemed like she was really enjoying the kiss…

    In an instant, he pulled away, catching his breath and trying to calm down.  He watched as the woodpecker leaned back on her legs, her hands resting in her lap, her own eyes slowly fluttering into a half-open state and a soft smile forming on her face.     “Yer breath stinks…” was the only thing she said before giggling.     For a moment, Joseph seemed too stunned to process the comment.  After a couple of moments, though…     “W… I… we’ve been drinking!” he rebutted.     “Here…” Winnie said as she reached into a skirt pocket.  The fox watched as she retrieved a small tube of some kind with a colorful cap.  “Open.”     He tilted his head at the odd request… but, after putting two-and-two together, he cautiously opened his mouth.  The bird leaned in a second later, popping the cap off the tube and spraying its contents into the open muzzle.  Immediately, the fox felt a cool tingle and tasted the soft flavor of mint.  He was just about to thank Winnie when he noticed her do it to herself, as well, before placing the container back in her pocket.

    “Now then…” she said with a grin.  “Where were we?”     “Uuuhh…”     “Oh, right.”     Joseph tensed as he watched Winnie close her eyes and pucker her beak, clearly expecting him to pick up where they’d left off.  However, he was having some second-thoughts about things…     Winnie is clearly very drunk right now, even after her nap… he thought as he stared at the waiting woodpecker.  She is clearly not using sound judgment tonight and… and, wow.  I’m even less drunk than I thought I was… if I’m thinking about this so hard.

    The fox cleared his throat, tugging on his hoodie’s collar.  That caused Winnie to open one eye and peek at him.     “Well…?” she spoke out the side of her beak.  “Wrrt ‘r yuu wait’n frr?”     “I… don’t…”     “You don’t wanna kiss me anymore?” she asked, looking upset.  “Why not?”     “I just…”  The fox looked to one side, rubbing his arm.  “I don’t think I should…”     “Why not?”     “Because you’re… you’re drunk.  And…”     “And?”     Joseph gave a blush.  “I… really liked it… actually…”     Winnie hummed, considering what the fox had just told her.     “What if I wasn’t drunk?” she asked a moment later.     “Then you probably wouldn’t want to kiss me!”     She gave a giggle and softly smiled.  “Maybe…”     “So, with that in mind…”  Joseph gave his arm another rub.  “I hope you won’t be too upset if I don’t take you up on your offer…”     “Mm…  I’m a little disappointed…” she admitted as she shifted toward him, “but, I understand.”     “Y… you do?”     “Mm-hmm…”     The fox tensely watched as Winnie stood and drew closer, his eyes never leaving that soft smile or those half-lit eyes…

    “You’re afraid you might do something we’ll both regret… right?”     “R-right…”     “And…” she continued as she reached up, gently placing one gloved hand on the fox’s cheek.  “You’re afraid of what might happen when I sober up, right?”     “A… a little…”  Truth be told, he was just as afraid of what Woody might do to him if he ever found out, though…     “And, that’s why you don’t wanna kiss me?” she asked, her other hand on the other side of his face as she half-straddled his midsection, standing in front of him.     “M… m-more… more or–”     “More?” she echoed, giving an innocent giggle.  “You want me to take the lead?”     Joseph went silent.  Between Winnie’s playful half-seduction and her pseudo-innocent words… not to mention the obvious intent of her actions… he was almost ready to stop fighting.  There didn’t seem to be any good way out of the situation… and, so…

    “Mmm…”

    Joseph pulled Winnie in close, pressing his muzzle to her beak and kissing her again, much to her delight.  She blushed a little as she felt his arms curl around her smaller body and bring her in close… and, she returned the favor, her arms sliding around his shoulders as she nuzzled into the kiss with a quiet murmur.  Being held by the taller, fluffy fox… feeling him kiss her…  It excited her.  She didn’t want to stop…  But, unfortunately, he had other plans.

    After another long period of kissing, Joseph once again pulled away, giving her a peck on the flat of her beak and purring.  He added a playful nuzzle up and down the side of her face, causing her to giggle and squirm as he held her close.     “Before I kiss you, again,” he softly whispered a moment later, “I need you to do something for me, Winnie…”     “Y-yes, Joseph?” she shyly asked.     “I need you to tell me… ‘why?’  Why, not even a few days after warning me not to flirt with you… are we holding each other, reveling in the afterglow of the kiss we just shared?”     There was a pause before Winnie asked…     “You’re… not as drunk as you keep saying.  Are you?”     Joseph blinked at the question.  Winnie’s speech wasn’t the slightest bit slurred and her words seemed more coherent.  In fact, if the fox hadn’t been aware of just how much she’d had to drink that night… she’d swear she wasn’t even remotely buzzed on alcohol…  The fact that her smile had broken into a powerful scowl just made things worse.  Luckily, she didn’t say like that, for long…

    “Alright…” Winnie sighed as she sat down in his lap on her knees and rested her head against his chest.  “You win…”     “I… win?” he repeated.     “I’m not doing this because of the alcohol,” the bird continued.  “Honestly, I have a really high tolerance, for alcohol.  I haven’t been drunk since we’d started watching cartoons…”     Joseph twitched as the gave him a sudden squeeze.     “The real reason I’m doing this is…”     Winnie shivered against his body.  A moment later, she looked up with anger in her eyes.     “I think that redheaded jerk is two-timing me with some girl I’ve never even met!”

    The fox gave a blink, his ears tail and fur bristling.  Looking down at Winnie, he noticed she looked furious… but, not with him.  Behind that fury, however, though, he noticed something else… something he understood all too well.     “You’re jealous, aren’t you?”     Winnie flinched at the question, acting like she’d been slapped in the face.     “H-how dare you!  Jealous…?  Me…?!  I… n-no!” she said, looking away.  “I’m not jealous!  Angry, sure!  Upset, definitely!  But, jealous?!”

    The woodpecker hopped out of the fox’s lap, adjusting her sweater and skirt as she grimaced, visibly fuming.  It seemed like she’d really been insulted… but, at the same time…     “Sorry, hun… but, I’m not buyin’ it.”     Winnie twitched at the pet name and narrowed her eyes.     “There’s nothing to ‘buy!’” she angrily countered, crossing her arms.  “I’m not jealous of any no-class hoochie that has my sweetie’s attention!”     “As well you shouldn’t be,” Joseph chuckled, raising one leg over the other and leaning back on the couch.  “But, it’s not the person you’re jealous of.”     He gave a grin.     “It’s the idea that there’s someone else who’s worthy of your boyfriend’s attention.”     That… just made Winnie all the angrier.

    “Don’t you dare sit there and try to analyze me!” she shouted, stomping her foot and throwing her hands down in a controlled tizzy.  “You don’t know how I feel!”     “On the contrary,” Joseph calmly replied.  “I know exactly how you feel.”     “Oh, really?”  Once again, Winnie crossed her arms.  “If you know how I feel then what would you do in my situation?”     “Well, first of all,” Joseph said, gesturing with one hand, “I’ve never been in your situation…”     “Exactly!”     “I’m polyamorous.”     The woodpecker’s blue eyes blinked at that statement, her anger dispersing and her face showing genuine surprise.     “You… you’re polyamorous?”     “More-or-less, yes.”     Winnie gave him a suspicious look, as if not believing him…     “Are… you sure you’re not just dissatisfied with your current partner or something?”     The fox gave a smirk.  “Now who’s analyzing who?”     “I’m being serious!” she protested.  “It seems like a lot of people who say they’re in love with more than one person really aren’t… but, just can’t decide who they actually love… or, are otherwise unhappy with their current significant other.”     “See, now, this is part of why I like you, Winnie.  You’re really sharp.  No pun intended.”     She gave another blink, watching the fox chuckle.  He continued speaking, a moment later.

    “But, no.  I’m being sincere.  Back home on Ragnarok, I thought I was in love with my ex, Kris.  We were together for so long… and, she did everything to make sure I was happy.  I still feel terrible about how I treated her… how I let her convince me to have an open relationship just because she thought I was getting bored with her…”     Joseph looked down, giving a sigh…     “I eventually apologized to her and I thought things were back on track.  But… things have a funny way of happening.  She broke up with me about two years before I was pulled into this place.  I was devastated…  I even tried to beat up the person I thought had taken her away from me… only to realize that maybe it wasn’t him… and, it wasn’t me…  Maybe… it was her.”     Winnie didn’t know what to say, at that point…  And so, she just kept him keep going.  It was clearly something that had been on his mind for a while…

    “Carlos – the guy I tried to beat up – and I had never been friends, before then.  But, I guess listening to me sob like an angry baby about how much I loved Kris changed his mind about me…  We became kinda-good friends and started hanging out.”     Joseph looked at Winnie and chuckled.     “I still didn’t understand why Kris liked a musclehead like him, so much…  But, eh, he was kind of cool to hang out with… even if all he wanted to do was work out.

    “Anyway… by the time Kris came back from teaching magic in another country or whatever it was she did with Professor Marcus – her former magic mentor and friend – I realized that, sometimes… some things just aren’t meant to be.  I also realize that, sometimes, ‘love’ ain’t so black-and-white…  Not to brag, but… for some reason, I seem to be kind of popular back home.  And, well…”     The fox blushed a little, rubbing the back of his head.     “I have a lot of love to give.  And, that’s not a metaphor.  Or, uh… maybe it is?”     Once again, Winnie gave him a suspicious look.

    “Anyway,” he said with a half-cough, “before I was pulled here, I was kind of… half-dating this awesome girl – Hope.  But, at the same time, I was still kind of… giving another girl – Miri, or Miranda – all the love she deserved – again, not a metaphor.  I genuinely enjoyed seeing her eyes flicker and her warm, smiling face every time we did stuff together.”     As he noticed the increasing suspicion on Winnie’s face, the fox quickly clarified…     “M-movies, video games, dates, whatever!  We were practically a couple… but, at the same time… kind of not?”     “What about the first girl?” Winnie asked, genuinely curious.     “Hope?”  Joseph looked down…  Slowly, he placed his hand on his chest and gave himself a tap, taking a long moment to think before answering.     “If there’s such a thing as ‘the one for you,’ Winnie…” he shyly stated, pausing again.  “Sh… she would have been it.”     “‘Would have been?’” Winnie echoed.     “If you hadn’t noticed…” Joseph said as he looked up with a smile, “she’s not here, with me.  And, I’m here.”     “And… you’re just giving up?  Like that?”  She scowled, again.  “That’s horrible!”     “Listen, lady,” Joseph snapped back.  “Sometimes, things happen.  As far as I’m aware… sh… she… she’s… and Kris… and everyone…”

    Winnie gave another blink as Joseph started to lose his composure.  A closer look revealed something even more upsetting, though…  The grim expression on the fox’s face told her all she needed to know.  But for some reason… she had to ask.     “Are… are they all… gone?” she meekly asked.     “Sharp as a thistle, Winnie…” Joseph whispered, still looking down as tears found their way down his fluffy cheeks.  “Sharp as a thistle…”     There was an awkward pause as Winnie processed this information.  She was about to ask a follow-up question when Joseph added to his previous thought.

    “Truth be told… I don’t know that they’re gone.  I just…  There was this guy who sent me a letter and since I haven’t heard from him in almost a year, I just kind of assumed I was stuck here… which is why I put so much work into making a life here.  But, bearing that in mind…”     Joseph paused again.     “It was better to just forget the past… forget Ragnarok.”

    “I… I had no idea…” Winnie meekly said with a frown, nervously wringing her hands together.  “I… I’m not sure I can even begin to imagine what you’re going through…”     “Life on Ragnarok was pretty great,” he said with a sigh.  “But, life here ain’t so bad.”     Winnie tilted her head at that statement.     “I’m okay with how things are, here.  Sure, they’re not ideal… but, even on Ragnarok, I had my problems.  Except… I also had more money, too…” he added with a chuckle.  “In any case, Winnie… yes, I believe in polyamory.  And, I do feel strongly toward more than one particular person.  I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel something toward you, too…  You’re very sweet, kind, and caring.”     Once again, Winnie looked away with a blush.  Rather than try and distract him, however… she just quietly accepted his kind words with a smile.     “If Woody really is two-timing on you –”     The woodpecker jolted.  She’d forgotten she told him that!     “– then, he’s making a pretty big mistake.”     “Well, about that…  I…” she skittishly started.     “It’s okay, Winnie.”     Once again, she jolted in surprise.  “I… it is?”     “I understand why you did what you did.  Although… some confirmation would be nice.  There could be a few different reasons, stemming from jealousy.”     “I asked you not to analyze me…” she said with a huff.  “But… okay.  What would you like to know, specifically?”     The fox gave a comforting smile to the shorter female.  “Why, specifically, did you think it was a good idea to try and take advantage of me in a drunken state?  And, please… be honest.”

    “Alright,” she immediately started, speaking quickly.  “So, you know how you said you liked me, back on Christmas Eve, right?  Well, I figured that, maybe, under the right circumstances, I could use that to my advantage.  I don’t really want to hurt Woody… but, at the same time, I also don’t like feeling like his leftovers so I figured that, maybe, if I played the ‘I was/we were drunk’ card, maybe I could get some affection out of you… and, I did!  But then, when you started showing signs of sobering-up, I just kind of pushed harder and, when that didn’t work, I just… kind… of… why– why are you staring– oh…  I’m babbling, aren’t I…?”     “And, it’s still really cute,” Joseph said with a grin and a nod.     “It is not!” the woodpecker huffed, stomping her foot again.  “It’s a real problem that I have!  When I get really nervous about something, I have this habit of just talking until I run out of breath or get distracted and– oh darn it…  S-see?!  I’m more cognizant of it now but I’m still doing it!”     “And, I still think it’s cute!”     She gave a pout and huffed again.  “You… you suck, Joseph!”     “Only on water and people I really like, sweetheart.”     “S… sweetheart…??”

    Joseph gave a blink, his ears perking.  They were just starting to lower… when he noticed Winnie doing something odd.  She’d looked away and brought one hand to her cheek, the other fidgeting with the fabric of her skirt.  She was also kind of swaying… and blushing.

    “L-listen… um…” she shyly stammered.  “Maybe it’s the alcohol… but…”     She took a deep breath before straightening up, looking directly at Joseph.     “Would it… I mean… would you like to… I dunno…  Can we… maybe…”     “Use your words, Winifred.”     Winnie gave a twitch at that.  “Wh-what did you call me…?”     “‘Winifred?’” he repeated.  “That’s your long name, isn’t it?”     “N-not really…” she admitted.  “Legally, it’s just ‘Winnie.’  I mean, you can call me that, if you’d like, but…”     She scowled, scrunching her face and looking like she’d just spotted something nasty.     “‘Winifred’ makes me feel like an old maid…  I’m not though!  I’m only 62 years old!”     Joseph’s eyes went wide.  “You’re… what?”     “Now, if you want to talk about old maids… look at Minnie Mouse!  She’s much older than I am!  I think she’s around 88 years old!”     It took a moment for Winnie to notice… he was still staring at her in disbelief.

    “I-in any case,” Winnie started again, deciding to move on, “I was wondering if we could possibly… c-cuddle?  I like soft, w-warm cuddles…”     The fox took a moment to shake off the shock of her earlier revelation.     “Uhm…  Are… you sure?  I mean–”     “I’m sure,” she interrupted.  “And, it doesn’t have to go beyond that, if you don’t want it to.  I was just…”     She once again turned shy, squirming and fidgeting.     “I was really enjoying the attention… if I’m being completely honest…”     “W-well… so was I, even if I was feeling a little guilty about it…  You are just as soft and warm as I thought you’d be…”     “So…?” she hopefully smiled.     He gave his arm a rub.  “So… I guess if you’re okay with it…”     “I am.”     “You’re sure?”     Winnie gave a nod.  “I’m sure.”     “Well, then…”         The fox got to his feet and took a step toward Winnie.  He extended one hand down to her… which she gladly accepted, letting him escort her back to the couch.  She watched as he sat back down, then she gave a girlish giggle as he brought her up into his lap.  When he brought his arms around her middle, she turned slightly and curled her arms around him, once again resting her head on his chest.     “You’re pretty soft and warm, too…” she idly commented.     “Why, thank you…” he replied, giving her a friendly nuzzle.  “I like your hair, by the way.  It suits you.  It’s very cute and very soft.”     The woodpecker giggled again, giving his arms a squeeze.     “Sometimes, a girl just wants to look nice…”     He gave her a gentle squeeze.  “And you do, Winnie.”     “Oh, you…”

    Time seemed to fly by as the two cuddled together on that couch, watching Goofy cartoons.  In fact, time seemed to move so fast, the sudden burst of sunlight pouring in through the apartment window startled them both.

    “Did… did we both fall asleep?” Joseph asked.     A brief glance at the clock on the wall said it all.     “9:14 AM…” Winnie quietly confirmed.  “We fell asleep for a good six-or-seven hours…”     “While cuddling…” Joseph added with a blush.     “And, watching Goofy cartoons…” she responded with a blush of her own.     “Well, that’s… that’s just goofy, now isn’t it?”     The girl gave a giggle.  “You’re goofy.”     The fox chuckled.  “And, you’re adorable.”     She blushed and squirmed again… but then, she suddenly stood.  The fox gave a blink, followed by another blush, as he felt the bird give him a quick peck on the lips, followed by a warm hug around the neck.     “I like you, Joseph,” she whispered after a moment.  “Even if you are a flirt and a bit of a horndog… you’re really sweet… and, true-blue.”     “But, Winnie,” he rebutted, “I’m olive-gold.  You’re the one who’s blue!”     She softly chuckled, rubbing her cheek against his.  “You know what I mean, you silly…”     “Yeah.  I know…” he whispered, warmly hugging and returning the gesture.

    Several moments passed before Winnie spoke up again.     “I should probably head out,” she said, sounding somewhat melancholy.  “I have work today, too!”     “Mm…  I should ask what you, do one of these days.”     “Assistant Nurse at Warner General,” she responded.     “Huh…  My not-girlfriend, Hope, was a nurse.”     “Your ‘not-girlfriend?’” Winnie asked.     “Remember?  Her and Miranda.  Polyamory and whatnot.”     Winnie gave another giggle.  “Oh, I see…”

    Several more moments passed as the two continued to embrace.  Despite the fact Winnie had said she needed to go… she didn’t seem all that anxious to actually do so.     “You… don’t want to stop hugging, either, do you?” Joseph quietly asked.     “Not really…” she sighed.  “You give really good hugs.”     “Mmm…  As much as I don’t want to, either, I’m pretty sure if we’re still hugging like this when Woody wakes up, it would be kind of awkward to explain.”     For some reason, Joseph’s words made her hug him tighter.  Not knowing what else to do… he held her just as tightly.     “It’ll be alright, Winnie,” he reassured her.  “It’s probably just some sort of misunderstanding…”     She remained silent on the topic.

    “Maybe I can get some information from him…  Check his cell phone, see if he has a ‘little black book,’ that sort of thing.”     The woodpecker leaned back.     “Oh, would you?  Please?” she asked, hope in her eyes.  “I’d really appreciate that!”     He gave a reassuring smile.  “Anything for a friend.”     Apparently, that’s exactly what she’d wanted to hear.  She emitted an excited noise and immediately threw herself back into his embrace, hugging even more tightly than before!  The fox chuckled and hugged her right back, his tail wagging and ears flicking.     “Man, you’re adorable, Winnie…”

    Eventually, the woodpecker pried herself from the cuddly fox and hopped on to the floor.  She slowly retrieved her purse from the coat rack – which she’d left behind before they went to the party – and turned back to Joseph.  He was standing nearby, softly smiling and wagging his tail.  He wasn’t exactly thrilled his new cuddle-buddy was leaving, just then… but, he was very happy to see the radiant smile on her cute little beak that morning.     “You’re a mystery, mister,” Winnie said with a grin, “but, I like you.”     “You, too!”     “But, oh… hang on a minute.  There’s some lipstick on your cheek…”     The fox gave a blink.  “Th-there is…?”     “We can’t have that…  Come here.”     Joseph leaned down, happy that Winnie was taking such precautions.  That is…     “Hnnhnph–!!”     Until she grabbed him by the collar of his hoodie and smooched him!

    Winnie let go a moment later, giving an excited giggle.     “Fooled you!” she said with a wink.  “I wasn’t wearing lipstick last night!”     “Dang it, Winnie,” Joseph laughed.  “Get outta here before we get in trouble, you goof.”     “Alright, alright…  And, Joseph?”     She brightly smiled again.     “Thanks.”     He smiled just as brightly, his tail wagging, all over again.     With their situation sorted, Winnie finally took her leave of the apartment… and, just in time, too.  The bedroom door opened not long after Joseph had closed the front one.

    “Uuhn…” he groaned.  “What time is it…?”     “9:19 AM,” was Joseph’s response.  “G’morning, sleepyhead.”     The woodpecker narrowed his tired eyes at his roommate.     “What’s… got you so bubbly, this morning, Bucko?”     “I haven’t been to bed, yet,” he quickly lied.  “Been watching Goofy cartoons all night.”     “Oh…”  Woody rubbed his face.  “You’re gonna have a helluva day at work, then…”     “Probably…”  He gave a yawn, followed by a grin.  “I’ll do my best, though!”     “Ugh…  It’s too early for that kinda attitude, Sunshine…  I need coffee.”

    Three hours later, the duo left for work, ready for the day.  Woody continued to wonder about Joseph’s upbeat attitude as he worked his half-shift… but, he didn’t ask.  Not that the fox would have told him, anyway…  What Woody didn’t know… wouldn’t bite him in the butt.