#to adhere to the current beauty standards and be a quote unquote part of the norm thus not using fashion as much as i did in the past | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lush3-1 · 7 months

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on this year i tried my best to change my ways and to keep working on myself but as the time goes i cannot stop to notice the fact that i may be repeating another cycle in which i must learn to embrace my solitude at the expense of not showing my authentic self to the world and at the same time i also experience a deep feeling of not belonging anywhere

and if i hear one more time "oh i thought you were intimidating/mean" or "i was scared to approach you/you look unaproachable" i'm going to scream from the top of my lungs :i'm trying so hard!!! no matter how warm i make myself to be it doesn't come off as much as i would like to so i get labeled as cold and bitchy and is literally not the case most of the time oh my god

#i'm tireddd of all these stupid things i thought it would be easier i kept thinking it would not be the same #and yeah i tried to be more vulnerable to be extra social extra friendly even a bit superficial #to adhere to the current beauty standards and be a quote unquote part of the norm thus not using fashion as much as i did in the past #as a way to express myself and yet #it still happens so i have no idea what to do and i'm scared and sick of it i just want to live my life in peace #and to maintain healthy happy long lasting relationships with people without having to give an arm or a leg for it to happen #it feels wrong to beg for external love after how far i've come to embrace myself and practice self love on the daily #anyway sorry for the long vent but it was needed to let it out.#sometimes i prefer the great sea of tumblr rather than a piece of paper to journal and do some shadow work tbh

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