#to be fucking fair i named my potted cactus palayok

[crowsent]

languages are fun. until youre standing in the fucking bathroom begging your father not to put your plush owl in a bucket

my father (the engineer who put wasabi on a rotisserie chicken and then announced that chickens had 4 legs, and also did not plug in the steamer when trying to cook and it took him 2 hours to realise it) knocked on the bathroom door

i was in the bathroom. because i left my bracelet there. im tearing that goddamn bathroom brick by brick because i cant find my fucking bracelet. completely forgot where i left it. ive been in there a long time. and my father knocked on the door and asked “what are you doing in the bathroom?”

and, because im filipino and none of us answer the questions given to us properly, i said, “yeah, im in the bathroom. why?” which does not answer the question he asked. which started this whole shit.

now. my choice of words here were. “yeah. nasa CR ako.” im in the bathroom.

and the word “bakit?” which is why?

now. if yall havent realised. “bakit” sounds a lot like “bucket”

and the sentence can be easily interpreted as: “yeah, im in the bathrom. bucket?”

which does not make fucking sense. but again. were filipinos. we look at logical questions and logical answers and we shove them into a canal

so my father goes “okay. ill bring you a bucket.”

which answers a question i did not even fucking ask.

so i say. “why?” as in, the english word “why?”

because hey if filipino wont work imma try english

now. if yall havent realised. “why?” sounds a lot like the colour “white” especially if you have a tagalog accent

so my father, thoroughly confused now, says “we don’t have a white bucket. but i can tell mom to buy one??”

and myself, learning nothing from my mistakes, did not say “no. we don’t need a white bucket.”

my dumb bitchass said “why do we need a white bucket?”

and the words i chose were “bakit kailanggan ng bucket.”

which. as im sure yall have realised. is a very poor fucking choice of words.

my father interpreted it as “bucket. i need a bucket” and goes and says “i can walk to a walgreens and see if they have one right now”

which is sweet. but not what i wanted.

again. instead of saying “no. i dont a bucket”

i ask him “why?”

and, of fucking course. i used the word “bakit”

so now my father, completely and utterly flabbergasted is now thinking that maybe i did not mean “bakit” as in “bucket’ thinks of something completely fucking different and goes “your owl??”

my plush owl. which i got in middle school during my peak homestuck phase.

a goddamn plush owl. that i lovingly and jokingly named “bucket”

so my father, thought that i, somehow, wanted my plush owl in a bucket in the bathroom

and i had to abandon my search for the bracelet to open the door and tell him. very clearly. that i do not want bucket in a bucket.

yes. the entire problem can be solved by me opening the door in the first place so we dont get weird reverb echo in the convo but consider: i am gay and i am stupid

unrelated to the bakit/bucket dilemma. my bracelet was in the bathtub. on the other side of the bathroom. i do not know why it is IN the tub. i do not know how it got there. i refuse to question the gods at this point

anyway how yall doin