#to cry on your bathroom floor because you're scraping the bottom of the barrel
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#teehee i went back and found them even though the original is gone#i do legitimately think abt this a lot. partly because it travelled far and wide beyond me#but also just because this expresses a lot of what striving means to me#i've always had this teeny little chip on my shoulder because i'm the person who always has to try. can't stop trying always have to try#i get tired easily because lots of things take effort for me when it seems like they shouldn't!#but in a way it's my work and my burden that i'm a tryhard. i want no cross but my own etc etc#but i guess these three ladies represent so much to me what it means to strive for virtue#to cry on your bathroom floor because you're scraping the bottom of the barrel#and you have to wipe your face and sternly find that blind trust that things are going to keep going onwards towards brightness#just as long as you get up. and all that is required of you right then is getting up and after that we'll plan the next step after that#and in when you have to say something Real to somebody and you don't know if it will be needed or accepted and it's terrifying!!#or when you park in a spot and suddenly it comes crashing in on you that you have to Face This Day and you're not ready#and you have to reach into your heart and strike that match of the kind of wish that you'll have the strength for it after all#and you put your face on your steering wheel and muster everything within you to burn with that wish and hope#these are all very real to me and i wish i could express them in a more real way than a little tumblr post. but you know!!#i guess. have the version 2.0 of this post haha
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