#i guess. have the version 2.0 of this post haha

[beltransadie]

Small tidbits about my Still Into You 2ha animatic

Coz it's April, exactly one year from now was when I started completing it and I'm in the mood now. + I don't think I made a proper one + it won the twitter poll

Check it out if you're interested... or not! I just want to dump my thoughts and fun facts that I thought of while making this.

To preface this, check them out if you haven't seen it yet: (Still Into You & Please Don't Leave Me)

If you've been hanging around my blog for a while, it's kinda evident that I did post a promo post for Still Into You back in January 2023. And that first part does have an in-depth explanation about what it covers (which is from the start to the first chorus).

If you're wondering why: TL;DR I can't work on An Act of Kindness coz I was back home from school for vacation and I thought of the idea during a trip.

Anyway, I ramble. Time to get to the actual discussion.

(spoilers!!) The Actual Discussion

Making the rest of Still Into You, unlike Mo Ran's feelings for CWN, was actually just straightforward. I already knew that it'd cover the rest of the book, given that I intentionally focused heavily on book 1 while making part 1.

Like part 1, part 2 was that type of animatic that just naturally flowed during the storyboarding and rough sketch process. The whole animatic is divided into three phases which covers the following: Book 1, Book 2 and 3, and lastly the Epilogue.

Book 1 I've already discussed in an earlier post here but I did find this interesting tidbit I wrote to my cousin:

Anyways the discussion:

Yeah I really wish I have a funny image to put here. I'm really enjoying looking back at my stuff and seeing my initial plans though.

Order at which I made each part.

One thing of note (and actually a common oversight I experience while doing storyboards coz I don't do timings) was that I storyboarded the frames when the vocals started and forgot the timings in between.

So I kinda had to fill the parts between part 1 and 2 last-ish? (don't really remember the proper timings).

Oh, oh! And another fun fact:

Still Into You Part 2 (Rough Draft)

Part 2 was initially done on my tablet in CSP so there's a whole different and rougher version of it. (pls lower the volume if you're wearing earphones)

Funnily enough, this took me like one sitting to finish and a whole lot of sessions to clean up. I do like this process though given that, around the time I drew this, I started leaning heavily into animation and prioritizing getting my thoughts across without care for cleanliness. (Something I felt held me back too much while making Please Don't Leave Me).

In fact, there are some obvious frames that I didn't really bother polishing up (mostly because they're too hard for me or they just flash by quickly). A glaring example is this frame from the third part:

Another fun fact about the scene where TXJ shows CWN the plant he's been raising is it's actually inspired off of a doodle I made for someone in the Two Lifetimes CSE back in April 16 2023.

I just really think that it's super adorable for them. Mo Ran in the the epilogue section alternates between TXJ and 2.0.

Aside from the plant, TXJ also appears in this frame which is inspired from one of the extras. Another silly intentional decision I did is to have him pour alcohol onto a cup and drink from the bottle.

Meanwhile 2.0 appears here:

The one on the left is also from (you guessed it) an extra! It's based from an offhand mention that CWN makes in one of them. (Let me know what your guesses are haha)

I kinda just jumped into the 3rd half of the song, huh? I hope my ramblings aren't too much! I just wanna let it flow naturally.

Returning to the topic of the storyboard, I really only had a rough idea of what I wanted for the 3rd half. The references to the extras and even Goutou's appearance just came when I was already putting it into frame. Like, this was what I initially had in mind for the 2nd chorus to the end.

I think one of the notable differences is that I initially planned on doing the half MR half CWN screen transition the same way i did with chorus 1 and 2 but decided against it. In retrospect, I think it fits a lot because both aren't divided anymore.

Something about the second verse + chorus of the song

Like in chorus 1 and chorus 3, this section of the song takes on a darker tone since it covers book 2 going into book 3. It's a lot to talk about so I'm gonna select a couple that I personally like that's worth mentioning and leave the rest to the viewers to guess.

Also sorry not sorry for those who got spoiled by the animatic lmao.

The confession scene

Another fun fact: The confession scene in Still Into You and Please Don't Leave Me are intentionally connected through the color palette.

It's just that Still Into You takes a dump at how it treats it. Yes, the stick figures are intentional. It adds to the funny and tbh Still Into You really is just a feel good animatic. The comedy also serves as a whiplash to the angst hell that is the chorus 🥰.

(Insert obligatory CWN running at a tree meme here)

My Favorite 2ha Moment

Gotta insert my favorite chapter here (ch 184) which I think is one of 2ha's peaks because it resolves CWN's doubts about MR's feelings all this times.

And I'm just soo glad I could incorporate it in an animatic because it's so important to me. AND Like, 'yknow, I think it echoes the song very well because guess what MR tells CWN then?

“It has always been you."

That one frame before the chorus

There's like this moment before the second chorus starts where MR tells CWN something. I wanted it to echo ch 207 where MR felt the pressure of having to reveal that he actually is reborn and has memories of his past life.

If this were animated I'd have had MR match the song and tell CWN "I'm still into you".

Anyways, here's the frame before it zooms in. Physically it's still at ch 207, but I wanted the shadows to imply what happens next which is the chorus.

Other Bonus stuff

Ran out of stuff I wanna gush about so Imma talk about cut content.

XM and the MHX twins are supposed to have more frames (I didn't include it because it felt like it had too much energy)

2. Ling'er and the village ranwan visits during farm arc is also supposed to make an appearance

3. I forgot to animate the butterflies

4. I was supposed to polish the sequence at 2:41 - 2:51 at one point.

5. Fuck ow

6. CWN was supposed to glomp MR at the reunion scene

7. You and I

anyways go watch it

[madamescarlette]

[kirstinmaldonado]

CHAPTER SEVEN 2.0

I’m kind of embarrassed to say…I lost track of what day it was again, haha! I’m so sorry to post late!

The culprit is obvious: my inflatable pink “Barbie convertible-looking” splash pool. Now that the weather has been heating up, I’ve tried to spend the sunnier hours outside to get some color on my translucent quarantine skin! I need that vitamin D in my life but man is it getting hot outside! This pool has been a godsend. We’ve even taught Floof how to swim! Undecided if he loves it or hates it, but we think it’s adorable, haha!

It’s been nice to build different little set-ups in the house. I’ve been finessing room decor details or setting up new spaces and it’s totally helped break up the mundane usual scheduled program of what our lives are right now. Sometimes the pool and my little outdoor space even feel like I’m maybe…somewhere else on a vacay! A girl can dream!

Speaking of dreams, I turn 28 in less than 10 days and I’ll admit this was not how I imagined my birthday to look like.

I feel like it was just yesterday that I was 25 in NYC, living life, chasing dreams! Crazy how fast time flies when you’re enjoying yourself or when you’re surrounded by people and things that provide comfort in your life as opposed to stress. The 24 year old version of me was so stuck on what she felt like she needed to be or should be that she aged herself prematurely!

As the past has shown, life does not always turn out the way you plan it. If I told you all the plans I’d intended for this year, you’d maybe laugh at me. They seem too far away now, or too frivolous.

But again, in this ever-changing climate, I’ve found a sense of solace and gratitude.

The other day I caught up and got everything I needed to done, yet I still felt unsatisfied. I felt because I got everything done in less time than I expected, I should fill my day with something else. But why would packing my day from morning to evening provide a better sense of accomplishment than just being thankful to accomplish what I need in a day and then have time for whatever else? Wouldn’t that fulfill me more, to give time to ALL areas of my life instead of just work?

The travel is a big factor in making one feel like they’re outputting more, I think, especially for my brain. I’m constantly on the go. I’ve never really worked from home. And crazy as I feel this sounds, I’ve never been in one place longer than the 6 months I was living in NYC in 2018 (and even then had some LA travel for PTX) since I was 19!!

In a strange way, I am getting the opportunity to have time for the things I put off before. 

I’m appreciative that in this time I can clean up the overdue ghosts in the house. I’m appreciative to have time, more than enough, to call my family and friends and catch up. I’m appreciative to have this blog and be able to share experiences with you guys. I’m appreciative to have time to walk the dogs in my neighborhood and notice for the first time that the street is fully lined with the exact same trees that are fully blooming beautiful red flowers right now… Something I’ve never witnessed in the almost 4 years of me living here.

Before all this happened I’d written about how uncomfortable I was with stillness and how I hoped to be able to sit with myself quietly and be okay.

Well, this quarantine has shown that it’s a work in progress. I went through the “what do we do I guess drink too much wine” phase and am now out on the other side feeling a little less like I have to output physical evidence of how hard I work and just work hard to get what I need done and then … enjoy myself. Spend time with the dogs. Write. Lay! 

I think that’s a good take-away, and for now, I have peace with that self-realization and appreciation for the things around me.

So again, we take strides towards awareness, not just for self but for the benefit of others too. With restrictions loosening around the country, please remember to respect your neighbor. Remember that while you’re dying to get out of the house, others could die if you choose to be irresponsible with your actions.

Let’s always strive to be a positive factor in tipping the scale of the world towards goodness.

You are all my sunflowers and I am appreciative for you. 

[aviewfromtheclouds25]

Why do you like the lodge scenes so much?

Because it was compelling, romantic, high-risk drama fuelled by so much emotion and which actually served character as well as the plot… But I’m guessing you were expecting a longer answer than that? Haha. 

There are various reasons… Partly from a Robert perspective, partly from a Robron perspective… Both were equally amazing… (And also a lot from a because Ryan and Danny were just out of this world and the whole world (of Emmerdale viewers) were on the edge of their seats for two whole days perspective, naturally.)

Robert

What it did for Robert’s character is probably the main reason for me personally. I’ve mentioned in the past that I had some issues with the way his character was written during some of the affair era, particularly around the whole Katie saga. For me, it felt like Robert’s character had been watered down a lot and reduced to somewhat of a superficial caricature of his “bad” traits in order to fit the role of “villain”. Which wasn’t the character I’d watched and loved for years. Robert was a character with a long-standing history onscreen and established fans. We’d watched what he’d been through as a child; how that had affected him growing up; his relationship with Jack; we knew who Robert was even though the scripted version didn’t resemble him at times. Because it wasn’t continuous throughout the whole affair but there were definite phases. Kind of like a lot of the characters nowadays being written out-of-character to fit the plot. But with the plotty writing, I also didn’t feel like we got enough of his point of view to address his emotional reaction around the silly farcical stunts they were making him pull. A lot of the narrative basically neglected the fact that he really had any personal feelings about it at all, which obviously was absolutely not the case. To this day, Robert still hasn’t forgiven himself for anything he did back then. And the show just didn’t explore that enough for me back then because they needed him to be the big panto villain up at Home Farm, and it was just kind of frustrating that they chose to do that with a deeply complex character who already had such a rich legacy in the show which they chose to neglect or negate at times.

There were two standout moments to me where I felt like we actually got a real insight into how everything with Katie had affected him; the first was the scene where Robert told Diane about Andy going to the quarry and there was that shot which just focused on his reflection and you could see the conflict in his face (and I will always be so grateful to Ryan for his understanding of Robert’s character and for keeping that substance in his portrayal of Robert throughout, regardless of the scripts, because Robert is such a complex and three-dimensional character and Ryan’s acting ensured those layers were always there), and the second was the fight with Aaron in the lay-by when he goaded Aaron into hitting him. (Another amazing couple of episodes, just saying.) Those were the times when it felt like we got a true glimpse into the pain and the guilt that Robert was actually feeling. I just feel like it’s something which should have been explored more during that time, but it didn’t fit the narrative which was focused on the affair (which obviously as a shipper I loved so I can’t really complain about that haha) and how Aaron was coping. So you know, it’s what we call #plot. It was just disappointing that the integrity of such a big character with that rich heritage kept being sacrificed for it.

But it was the lodge where we finally got the breakdown. The lodge, for me, was the pivotal moment where everything which had frustrated me about the writing and the treatment of Robert began to change. I’ve always felt like when they were storylining this era, it was always with the mind to limit the cardboard / two-dimensional villain act and build that redemption arc. And the lodge to me absolutely represented the start of that…

So then the epicness of the lodge comes down to how this development of the writing for Robert’s character combines with the tragic messed up love story of Robron at that stage and the insanely powerful performances of Ryan and Danny…

Because love or hate the lodge (I get the sense it’s like Marmite? Haha. Although I’m not sure why anyone who hates it would be reading this post!), no one can deny the incredible acting… The tears, the angry flushing, popping veins, shaking… It’s all so intense, how could we not feel like we’re right there in the moment with them? And like I always say, the reason I admire Ryan and Danny so much as actors is because of just how real they make it all feel. I try to imagine other duos pulling off the lodge scenes and I just…can’t? And it was these scenes which really made me believe in the potential longevity that their partnership could have, whatever direction the show took the characters’ relationship in. Which brings me to how the lodge played into that longevity of Robron itself…

The Lodge

So I’m mostly going to focus on all the drama from when the proverbial hit the fan haha.

The Proverbial: Then what happened? Throw her through the floor and make it look like an accident? WHAT DID YOU DO, ROBERT?

The Fan: I PUSHED HER, THAT’S ALL… I pushed her.

The thing with the lodge scenes is that it’s all about the layers in them… There is so so much more going on than the plotty chaos on the surface. And what’s interesting (maybe haha) is that when Aaron loses control initially, it’s because of Paddy and the love there is between them. When Robert finally loses control, it once again boils down to Jack and the love he wished there’d been between them. It is utterly fascinating and captivating to watch because so much of the drama actually stems from the pain of their respective childhoods, but the drama becomes so intense because of how those similarities between the two of them and those very obvious differences actually clash…

Because, bearing in mind that notion of this being a pivotal moment for the direction of Robert’s character, so much of the action (actually what action there is doesn’t require much focus, it’s soapy drama, because all the poignant and key moments are in the dialogue when Robert sits on the floor with Aaron) actually stems from the fact that this is one of those crucial moments in which Robert’s worlds collide again. The life he had before with the family who always expected the worst of him; the life he’d built to show Jack that he was worth something and that he could have made him proud; and the life with Aaron in which he could truly be happy and himself but had never imagined could be a reality. But he’d risked losing everything he’d worked for by having an affair. By doing reckless things. By falling in love with Aaron. None of which Jack would have approved of. And then he’d risked losing Aaron by doing whatever he could to salvage that life that he’d built for himself. And so we get this line, which is what this whole thing ultimately is all about;

“If this comes out… I lose everything. All I’ve worked for…”

But Aaron actually doesn’t know what Robert means. He thinks Robert’s just talking about money and status, and he tells Robert that’s all he cares about. And this is perhaps the point of no return for Robert losing his control altogether. Because up until that point, Robert’s control began to waiver initially as soon as Aaron made his accusations about Katie. That moment (right before the proverbial hit the fan) was when we finally started to see a glimmer of that guilt that he’d been trying to ignore, to “bury”. He starts to lose his resolve the moment he visibly recoils from Aaron’s anger. Because he’d remained calm and composed up until that moment. Even when Aaron threw that line at him, “I thought I knew you.” (Which just makes the far more recent “I know you” of reunion 2.0 even more poignant and precious, to be honest.) But the moment Aaron turns it onto Katie, you can see the switch in Robert’s face.

But when the proverbial does hit the fan, it’s Aaron’s turn to recoil. Because it goes back to what he said a few moments prior; he thought he knew Robert. And he loved him. Remember what he later said the night that Robert was shot? “What sort of a person does that make me? That I can’t stop loving someone like him?” This is when that thought process began. And it’s absolutely key to how Robert unravels from this moment on. Because the fact is, he didn’t mean for Katie to die but he does carry far more guilt than Aaron realises. The difference is he’s shut it down, he’s refused to acknowledge it. But everything Aaron says in this moment brings it all to the surface and he can’t bear it. And he can’t bear that it’s all coming from Aaron.

Which brings us back to that line, about Robert losing everything if the truth comes out. (I mean, some other stuff happened in between and we had to wait 23.5 hours to find out what would happen next..! :O) And Aaron assuming he means material things because they’re all that matter to Robert, they’re “everything”. (Note that when Robert first arrived at the lodge, his comments were along the lines of "You know what, I like it. Good shout." and then there's that moment when he's looking outside and there's this childlike wonder on his face as he says, "I love that car. It's the best thing I've ever owned." So we are very much reminded that Robert is from far more modest beginnings than his current lifestyle, and he recognises that fact and how hard he's worked over the years to get there.) And the reason I suggest that this comment is the point of no return to the complete unravelling of Robert is because like Aaron now sees Robert in a new light, Robert’s also seeing Aaron differently too. Because like Aaron said he thought he knew Robert, Robert believed Aaron did as well. And suddenly he now sees that the man he risked “everything” for doesn’t actually seem to understand him at all. That the one person he let in, who he thought knew him, truly knew the real him - not the enigma he created to mask his insecurities or the black sheep of his family, but himself - and could see the good in him, didn’t after all. So at this stage he’s barely containing his emotions and is very much on the edge when he tells Aaron, “I wish that was all I cared about… I mean, don’t you see? It’s you. You’re the worst mistake I’ve ever made. Falling in love with you ruined everything.” Cue “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.” “I met you and you changed everything.” Because the fact is Robert is terrified, everything he’s done has been acting out of fear. Because it does all come down to Aaron, and how deeply Robert fell in love with him (“at first sight” *not emotional*). But Robert isn't only scared of admitting his sexuality, he’s scared of losing that life he’d fought for to make himself worthy in Jack’s eyes, and he’s scared that he’s risked it all for a man who doesn’t even know him or want him anymore. He’s petrified by his depth of feelings, so he lashes out at Aaron and a lot of it is projecting because he hates himself for screwing it all up.

Which, of course, only provokes Aaron into lashing out in return. Because he’s disgusted at this man he’d fallen in love with and disgusted with himself for falling in love with him. So he challenges Robert to see if he really is capable of intentionally ending someone’s life, to test exactly what “sort of a person” he’d fallen for… And, to me, Robert’s intentions are pretty damn clear by the way he instantly puts the gun on the table and sits on the floor like that lost, anxious little boy again. The one he always returns to when he feels vulnerable and exposed.

And that is the moment we start to get into what’s really happening here, and a proper insight into Robert’s psyche when they start talking about Katie. And we truly start to see him crumble before our eyes. Because when it comes down to it, Robert has been carrying so much guilt over Katie. But he has buried it. Obviously because he’s scared and wants to protect himself. But it runs so much deeper than that. Because he ruined Andy’s life, and “That’s when I promised myself I would devote my life to supporting him. Stop him suffering any more pain.” Andy truly did need Robert to help him through his grief, so Robert had to stay strong for Andy as well as himself. And you know what? He never stopped carrying that promise with him. Fast forward a year and it was Robert getting Andy safely out of the country. And he didn’t stop there, he waged a war on the Whites so he could clear Andy’s name and bring his brother home. He risked the new life he’d built for himself to try to help Andy have the best one he could. It really is heartbreaking.

But the other thing with Robert’s guilt is it’s intricately linked to his own grief. He even says it to Aaron here, that he loved Katie once. And this is again where those striking differences between them come into play. Because Robert had always had a tendency to suppress his emotions and, in a way, it’s almost like Robert doesn’t actually know how to process his grief. He was obviously a baby when Pat died; when Sarah died, it was such a unique situation and Jack didn’t really support him through his grief as he was first suspected to be responsible for her death and then his focus was on helping Andy when he found out he was - and Robert later found out for himself that his brother was responsible and his father had hid it from him; when Max died, all the blame was put on Robert and he was sent away; and when Jack died, Robert stood at the sidelines of his funeral, an outcast to his own family. So every time Robert has had to grieve someone he loved, he’s never truly been able to. And to me, that grief he feels for Katie and for Andy has firmly attached itself to the guilt he feels, and he doesn’t know how to process either. So he’s just been trying to ignore them, to bury things the way he always does.

But what always strikes me when he’s talking about Andy and Katie is the way that as Robert is gradually falling apart, Aaron is watching him and crying. Because as much as he doesn’t want to, he does still care about (and love) Robert. (Because he “never stopped.”) And he genuinely doesn’t believe he’s “a monster”. But then Aaron’s own defences go back up, because what sort of a person does it make him if he can’t stop loving someone like Robert? So he pushes and goads Robert some more, all the while Robert gets more and more on edge because he is well and truly losing that control. He doesn’t want to go to prison *sob*, he doesn’t want to lose everything he’s fought for, but he loves Aaron and doesn’t want to lose him either. And that’s when we reach another turning point.

When Aaron tells Robert to “Do it.” Which fundamentally is about Aaron’s guilt and his need to punish himself far more than it’s about Robert. And that is the turning point, the moment the last thread of control Robert was holding onto is wrenched from him. Because Robert asks Aaron if he’d lied when he told him he loved him and Aaron’s response? “Of course I don’t love you. How could I? Just look at you. You disgust me. I wish I’d never met you.” And you can pretty much pinpoint the exact moment Robert’s heart breaks. His face is absolutely crestfallen. And stunned. Because the last bit of hope he’d been clinging on to was that Aaron had seen the real him and loved him. So maybe he hadn’t actually lost everything. (Because “He’s everything.” :’) ) But in this moment, Aaron convinces him otherwise and basically tells him he is just as unworthy of love as everyone else had always made him believe. And that is the moment Robert fully loses control because just like Aaron, all he ever really wanted was someone to love him for himself, unconditionally. And the one person he believed did is now telling him it was all a lie. That it wasn’t real. It wasn’t a love story. That he’d risked everything for nothing.

Now, what really gets me about this particular moment is how quick Robert is to believe Aaron. To believe that he’s worthless and unlovable. And this is all the more fascinating in retrospect. Because think back to Christmas 2014 and those scenes outside The Woolie, where Robert says “Yeah, I listened to you. You make a lot of sense.” So at this stage of their relationship, Robert very much listens to Aaron’s words. Now consider the juxtaposition of that when Aaron told Robert not to come to Gordon’s hearing early 2016 but of course he went anyway and said that line, “Since when did I ever listen to anything you say?” Since when did he stop? Because in that scene, we can see the progress in Robert and their relationship, because Robert now listens to everything Aaron doesn’t say. That was also the time that the whole “You know…” / “I know.” began. And we saw throughout that storyline and the way Robert supported Aaron, that he was very much listening to everything that Aaron wasn’t saying. So when did it change? When did Robert start recognising all the things Aaron wasn’t being forthcoming with? Definitely Robert’s shooting storyline played a big role, but I’d argue that the journey began earlier and a pivotal moment was these lodge episodes. How? I’m getting there…

So then we get Robert taking Aaron at his word again, pointing the gun at Aaron while they’re both crying and he’s just violently shaking because he has absolutely no control over his emotions right then, hence the words “I MEANT IT… I LOVE YOU.” (in which his voice absolutely breaks my heart) were literally wrenched from his very soul because he absolutely has no control over himself - because this is Robert; shrewd, calculating, manipulative, 100% in control, but in this moment he is completely exposed, his feelings laid bare in his absolute vulnerability, reducing him to his most authentic and raw self which is why we see that lost little boy who is just desperate to feel loved and to finally prove to his father that he isn’t the disappointment he wrote him off as. That he doesn’t “ruin everything [he touches]”. And that’s the crux of this moment, that’s what drove Robert to this, that’s why he’s in this state. Because there are two options: lose the person he’d believed until only a few moments before was the one person who could genuinely see the good in him and love him for who he is, or lose everything he’d worked for and the life he had created to try to be the son Jack wished he could have been. Because if Aaron told the truth about Katie, how could Jack ever be proud of his son if he went to prison for “murder”? Which is all the more poignant when you consider how it was Jack’s forgiving and helping Andy for his own accidental murder which instigated so many of Robert’s issues… *Trying not to think about Rob’s current predicament… Holding back the tears as Simply Red would say… Actually, check out those lyrics: “Strangled by the wishes of pater / Hoping for the arms of mater” - some random on the I.O.W. needs to go find him and give him a hug please.* And that’s what it boils down to in this moment; his unexpected but all-consuming love for Aaron, or the love he fought for and so desperately craved from Jack. And you know what? His decision is right there in his words, when he can’t stop himself from telling Aaron that his love for him was real. That everything they had was real. That the Robert he was when he was with Aaron was real. (“I just want to be myself now. With you.” *help*) Because in this moment, whether consciously or not, he knew that all of that meant more to him than the life plan Jack would never be able to give his blessing to anyway.

And all of this is why this may possibly have been one of the most heartfelt ILY’s in the history of soap. The circumstances may not be typically romantic, granted haha, but the sentiment…

But then pesky Paddy walks in of course. And Robert loses control of the gun and Paddy gets shot. Now, if we want to read into the fact that this all began with Aaron’s relationship with Paddy and Robert’s attempts to desperately cling on to the life he’d created to prove his own father wrong, then there is an argument in the significance and symbolism of it being Paddy who hunted them down and got shot. We could read it almost as though in shooting Paddy, it was like Robert shot his own memory of Jack. Because Paddy walked in on that crucial moment - when Robert told Aaron he loved him. Because even putting aside the SSW retconning of Jack finding Robert with a lad when he was younger because that obviously happened later, the fact is that Jack always disapproved of Robert’s actions and choices. He made him believe that he wasn’t good enough, that he was a disappointment, that he ruined everything he touched. That he wasn’t worthy of love. So Paddy walking in on that key moment in which, consciously or not, Robert’s only focus is that he loves Aaron is effectively like Jack trying to shut it down once more. That brutal reminder that he doesn’t deserve love or happiness.

Because remember, this is all about Robert’s worlds colliding. And this is how Robert totally falls apart and goes into meltdown. Because Aaron’s goading him, Paddy’s bleeding in front of him, and Robert just keeps asking himself “What the hell am I supposed to do now?” But it isn’t just that he doesn’t know what to do next, it’s that he doesn’t even know how he got here, how he messed everything up so badly, how he came to do any of these things. Because he isn’t “a bad person”. And as he finally falls to pieces against those kitchen cabinets, it is himself more than anyone else that he’s trying to convince of this. Because for so much of his life, people made him believe he was. And as per that self-fulfilling prophecy of his, when people expected the worst, that’s what he gave them. (You know who didn’t always expect the worst? Aaron. That’s why he got to fall in love with the man underneath all those layers.) So in this moment, he’s questioning if maybe they were right all along. He’s not only having a breakdown, he’s having a full-on identity crisis. He hasn’t a clue what his life - or what he - has become. Which is why he crumbles again the moment Paddy starts reassuring him that it “doesn’t have to get any worse”. Because Robert can’t handle hearing that reassurance, because in this moment he knows he doesn’t deserve it.

So after all of that, Paddy states he and Aaron won’t say anything. But it is only when Aaron speaks, his words again - “I’ve got nothing on you.” - that he believes it. And when it’s all over, Robert returns to Home Farm and seeks comfort and reassurance in Chrissie - there’s that hug where it’s almost like a child hugging his mother. Because that’s what it comes down to; Robert is still that scared little boy and he’s seeking comfort from the one person who still loves him.

And then Aaron decides to take that from Robert and blow the affair… - And this is actually perhaps when Robert stopped listening to Aaron’s words alone…

“All that you’ve worked for…IS GONE.”

And that’s what all of this really does come down to… Not only the deconstruction of Robert’s character, but also his life… Because with Aaron no longer loving him, in this moment, Robert really has lost everything for nothing…

He doesn’t have Aaron.

He doesn’t have the life he’d built.

He is right back to square one. The screw up. The black sheep. The disappointment.

But by breaking down Robert’s character, to get to the core and the heart of this long-standing character, and his relationship with Aaron, it marked the start of the very long journey to rebuilding them. And all of that, and the extraordinary acting from Danny and Ryan, is why I enjoyed the lodge so much.

The layers...

I MEAN IT… I LOVED IT!

(And this was one heck of a ramble, I’m sorry!)

[breakingitswings]

1-30

Not sure if this is all 30 I had to copy and paste one at a time

your favourite playlist (made by yourself or someone else): damn my old crying playlist from like 6 or so years ago. Never ever failed to hit hard

how many houseplants in your room, and what kinds are they?: none, not a plant person, although I like how they look, succulents are cute though

your favourite “grounding” activity (anything that involves using the hands/doesn’t involve “spacing out” or escapism - something like gardening, knitting, dancing, cooking): cleaning, cuz that usually involves dancing

an account on social media whose posts make you smile: my girl somethingabouttheway haha like the last account here I follow that's active. And a girl we know on fb always posts the funniest things.

5 tv shows that cheer you up: the office, brooklyne nine nine, soul eater, ouran high school host club, the good place

how you get relaxed when you’re struggling to sleep: I don't, I just put on YouTube and wait till I knock out

your favourite board game: my bros and I took a monopoly board and made our own, however it's broken and while one bro was getting all these things I still technically won. A version 2.0 patch is still to come

if you were going to write a non-fiction book on any topic, what would it be?: not sure, maybe heartbreaks, just curious to actually talk to people about emotions and thoughts on life in general but pain is always interesting

a quote that you would consider getting tattooed or putting in a frame: "We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, "O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless... of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?" Answer. That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play *goes on* and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?" Dead Poets Society

something you’ve created in the last year that you’re proud of (a playlist, a piece of art, some writing, a craft hobby, a social media account, etc): oof been a year of just getting by, well last how many years I guess. One of my bros and i are trying to write more, we keep brainstorming ideas whenever we hang out

a tip or hack you’ve learned that makes cleaning or tidying easier: nothing, still clean how I usually do

if you could make a candle that smelt like anything, what would you pick?: I don't even know, honestly my favorite scent is usually from a girl so

the last so-bad-it’s-good joke you heard: what's a duck's favorite drug? Quack lol wasn't that good but a friend and I were just sending jokes at each other it was a good moment

an artist (of any kind) whose work you look forward to seeing: in what way? I mean love to see whatever epik high does next. Or I wanna read more of Neil Gaiman. Or now that I've heard of Terry Pratchett I wanna read the Discworld series

the last tv episode that made you laugh out loud: brooklyn nine nine, watch it every week

how you wake your body up when it’s feeling tired, achy or needs a stretch: so I slap my chest, rotate my shoulders and start jumping

a bath, shower, beauty or toiletry product that makes you feel revived, or that you always re-order when it’s running out: nada

a book series you can always escape in: I wanna read series of unfortunate events again, I have most of the books, found them at a place that sells used books

the sport or exercise you enjoy the most, and what’s helped you get better at it: basketball, I still suck, but the sound and movements, the rhythm, feels amazing

a skill you’ve picked up in the past few years: I am a guy of no skill sorry

a youtube video you find useful, entertaining or relaxing:

https://youtu.be/AaV8NeT0fnY

And this isn't even mu favorite episode

if you were going to dye your hair any colour of the rainbow, what would you choose?: so weeb of me but I been wanting to do a white or silver with black mix. Was actually getting the balls to do it for vacation but that's canceled

the book you just finished and what you thought (no spoilers!): Good Omens was really good, not my favorite from Gaiman but how do i even compare books from my favorite author. It was enjoyable the whole way, i had fun and laughs.

describe the most wacky, weird and wonderful at-home outfit you’ve put together: don't think I have one, I prefer less clothes at home lol

a game you’re playing that takes your mind off things: besides the obvious of animal crossing haha astral chain

the film you watched most recently that you could watch again and again: tough one, I don't watch too many of the good ones over and over like I enjoyed parasite and knives out but not sure I'd watch often. I'd probably get sick of sonic or alita or detective pikachu after too many. AH rush hour was on tv, damn I can watch those all the time and still laugh

your favourite flavour and brand of tea: not sure, kinda just drink whatever tea is lying around the house. Not a big tea drinker but I like it and prefer it over coffee

a good-will story you’ve heard on the news that’s made you feel hopeful: my friend invited me to a fb group called go outside and howl at 8pm and it's just super wholesome seeing strangers send supporting messages or how people can post recovery type stories and find solace. Makes my day seeing it

a favourite easy recipe: 5 ingredients or less, or takes less than 30 min to make: does spaghetti take long? Cuz mom's spaghetti of marinara sauce, ground beef, pasta, brown sugar, sausages and pasta (yes that's 6 but whatever) love it

a song that makes you want to have a boogie round your bedroom:

https://youtu.be/Lbc2BkJrvWQ

My favorite singer took one of my favorite songs from him and changed it up and I still love it

[demonslayvr]

VERSES RUNDOWN.

'fore blazing home came atumbling  ;  there was a family of four  (  childhood v. )

PRE GAMES  /  NOVEL’S  /  MANGA’s.   pretty clear  --  this is any interaction that has been plotted or otherwise during dante’s childhood til the fire.  by default he’s going to be about 6 - 8 years of age with the latter age at least a couple months before the fire.  

quite indeterminate yet the bang of a gun and the slash of a sword still remain a constant ( undetermined v  )

PRETTY OBVIOUS.   i haven’t made a decision where shit goes yet thus its undetermined.  will change during thread once we plot more on it or i figure something out myself.

not everything has a simple ending.  crashing demons is easy but other things ? that can be tough  (  multifandom v  )

GENERAL CROSSOVER / MULTIVERSE v.   pretty generic verse for when either dante himself or another character   outside   of the devil may cry canon gets tossed comes inside it.  i’ll probably branch off if and whenever i make verses for  in - fandom specific  threads when i build something for each one of them but this is it for now.  sometimes this verse tag will accompany another one  ;  which just means whichever verse he’s in and what you should follow development wise is connected. basically just a multi - fandom tag for crossover threads,  lads.   

die trash man  ;  take your sword and SHOVE IT  ( crack  )

GENERAL CRACK.   as the package says it’s just a verse / tag for crack whenever it happens.  sometimes it may 

a flash to a past that holds bitter air.  pain was a story here.  you wish not to go back   ( post dmc5 / alternate interaction v )

ALTERNATE INTERACTIONS.   pretty much like with the multifandom verse tag this one is simply going to go with   any   other version of himself dante interacts with.  might get latched onto with another verse tag just for my own sanity but  . .  yep.

low feelings  ;  simply moving along to find dangers and distractions ( devil may cry one v. ) 

SET JUST BEFORE,  DURING OR AFTER DMC1 AND BEFORE FOUR.  pretty much as the previous sentence says lads.  he’s an angstee boy but not as angsty as his two self i guess lmao.  but yeah,  this verse is a huge back track in terms of development and how he is in the verse   below  this one.

bang bang bang kiss of the gun & blade ; where are we?  (  post dmc5 - main )

POST DMCV.   follows the full OG dmcv canon til end  -  depending on interaction this could mean that any vergil written with and dante are in hell still doing whatever the fuck they please   or   after the fact and home and going on with their lives.  or trying  ;  considering vergil is back in his life and alive.  this is also the   DEFAULT   verse of the blog.

there's a fire in your veins that speaks your losses yet you continue to bend in remembrance (  atla / lok v.  )

SHUNNED.   known for killing his twin brother,  his very name and even more so in taking jobs to pay the bills   --  jobs that more so upset the delicate balance between the human and spirit realms.  

dante sparda   comes from the fire nation  -- his father a previous high general in the army  ; one that tried to broker peace in a time where it was unheard of while the fire nation ruled. his father met eva when he was traveling the earth nation and secretly begun a relationship with her.  their love was beautiful,  eventually in as much secret as possible eva bore two young boys:  vergil and dante sparda.

happiness was not to last however as wind was caught of the affair and the children,  leaving eva and the young sons to go on the run with sparda defending their escape.  the name sparda was drug through the mud as the man was never heard from again after that night. unknown what became of him as deflected firebending set the house ablaze.

short years pass,  spending it on the run from those who want to end the chapter of embarrassment  --  but it finally catches up.  one evening eva comes running,  telling her boys to go  --  to run and hide.  forget their names but stay at each other’s side.  the twins do as told and don’t look back  ;   the last time they see her.  however in their escape they end up separated,  captured by soldiers of the fire nation.  dante’s anger and despair of losing his entire family causes him to lose control  ;  lashing out on the soldiers that caught him and running away

“ you must change your name  ;  forget your past and start a new life as someone else.  “

that he does.  he changes his name and disappears,  alone.  fast forwarding a couple years he’s a spirit hunter  ;  taking jobs that rid   “  evil spirits  “  that cause issue or problem for anyone that pays a good amount.  a mercenary that cuts down those who’ve wronged the wrong person  ;  non and bender’s alike.  his father’s sword,  rebellion,  at his back to assist and create a dancing display of fire just as much as his bending.  he’s a difficult one to get close to but once you cool him off   (   haha )  he’s a loyal friend and ally.  

with the war over at the end of the series he’s more vocal of who he is  --  even though he was  previously   but with some of the fire nation’s  “ norms  “  kind of relaxing from fire - lord zuko’s rule   . .  he’s his father’s son.  his mother’s son.

lok  verses are basically  . .  kinda the same.  except i guess he’s older   . .  ??

pay off the debt to save your skin  ;  something within broke and former gentle soul crushed under weight ( dmc 2.0 v )

CANON DIVERGENT.  dante snapped,   perhaps it was inevitable  -  perhaps losing too many people tore what little the cambian could handle to pieces and the person that emerged from it was more a threat than he was before.  after the events of devil may cry 1 after realizing that he had  ( supposedly   )  killed his brother there was something in him that couldn’t handle it and everything begun to crumble.

in this timeline something in him changed, and while it wasn’t immediate  –  little things when he would have been understanding over a situation didn’t sit as they should.  but it happened quickly.  with trish’s betrayal he didn’t help her,  allowing her to get crushed by the tumbling rocks  ;  simply standing there and watch it happen.  its drawn out,  with him coming over to crouch beside her as she struggled to heal.  in his allowance bore cruelty,  snarling that she should have known better to betray him  –  mundus shouldn’t have done what he did and expect him to now not try and go after him.

he,  as he does in the normal timeline,  states that while she looks like his mother that she has no soul,  no fire and for that she’s just a puppet.  he shoots her more than once,  killing her   –   the last time he sheds a tear.  he reaches mundus,  who commends him for his actions yet the hybrid isn’t having it.  the fight with mundus goes about the same but with dante  killing him   for ultimately forcing him to murder his brother,  being the one who set the orders to   burn down   his home  –  twice   –  and turn his life upside down.

he goes through the portal mundus opened to  try   and escape and ultimately assumes himself as the  new king  of the underworld.  he still runs his business since even though he’s king there will always be factions that don’t   like it   due to his bastard blood and he’s more than happy to snuff it out.

his attitude is   mostly   intact   (  though this is said   loosely   since he’s less talkative and jovial   )   though now it’s unsettling at times since his jokes and humor can be a bit morbid  – let alone how his aura feels.  its dangerous and uncomfortable to be around  ;  his care for humans as a whole is almost non - existent except for a small inkling for lady.  

BIG NOTE:  THIS TIMELINE IS SET AFTER DEVIL MAY CRY ONE,  KIND OF   SKIPS FOUR    (    though it   IS   likely nero still exists but dante doesn’t care much about it  or know   )    SLIGHTLY INVOLVES TWO    ( aka:  dante gets annoyed that some idiot human is making helicopters messed up with demonic juju and wants to become king.  so he kills arius  )  AND INVOLVES   SOME CONTENT   OF FIVE.  

to enact your revenge most had been taken  ;  body & mind broken so it could begin   (  witcher v  )

———–   destiny.  you hear it more than you’d like to admit.  destiny is what brought your parents together  ;   one monster and the other a witch.  two were born,  twins and raised in care by the witch til fate came to pass and ripped the three of you left apart.  in trying to halt destiny the father,  sparda,  had done his best to hold it off  ;  disappearing one afternoon when the boys had been young   ——–   so long ago.  his hope ??   that staying away would bring a kinder reality and future.

fire and blood,  a mother doing best to protect her children was found disemboweled on the floor within the crumbled castle foundations.  the youngest child was told to hide,  hide away and if the mother didn’t resurface   . .  to run.  she didn’t,  but the youngest fought his way out of the castle   —-  skills of his mother surfacing with an aptitude for beast slaying in the same scope.  his father’s sword,  created by hellish and beastly means was his and aptly used to start a revenge   —  to   KILL   demons in his mothers name.  and in his brothers   —   as both were believed to have perished in the attack.

in a short time and with training the young hybrid killed demons for a price   ;   eventually catching the eye of a witcher.  the nature of the hybrid himself and the skills he held were of interest   —   brought to kaer morhen to be trained as a witcher.  almost losing himself in the process yet he endured,  it further altering his physiology that was already different with the hybrid nature he had.

with the trials and effective torture to   be   a witcher an astounding success he buried into the extensive training to pursue the beast that slayed his family while also being a monsterslayer for hire.  

———–   destiny.  you hear it more than you’d like to admit.   destiny and fate has brought you here.  brought you a thought lost ache in your heart for the family lost all to avenge them and   kill   the beast that killed   them.   you feign your disinterest,  your lack of care but there is much of it in soul.   destiny   is a cruel mistress,  son of sparda.  yet perhaps she may gift you the   KINDNESS   to provide retribution if you are to   live   long enough.

Notes 1:    with his father’s blood and how he is part beast,  his body temperature is more abnormally hot than normal  –  able to reach just below lava temperatures without it seeming to create any problems for him.   Notes 2:   his magic is mostly fire based,  secondly offensive  (   akin to geralt’s in show how it can push things back,  etc  ).  with the fire being used to distract he’s referenced to a dragon at times which he ignores. Notes 3:   dante’s still trans because i say so   ;   while magic used to be used to help him pass he’s since has procedure through coin to get effectively top surgery  —  the scars easy to pass off due to his occupation.  bottom surgery hasn’t been attempted but with becoming a witcher,  like the rest,  he’s infertile. Notes 4.    he’s   school of the wolf   because i said so,  wolves are cool and it has geralt so sue me  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

you wished you could forget ; everything else seems to blur but not him. not the brother you lost. (  IT v.  )

AFTER THE FIRE  you found yourself in foster care with your brother in tow. foster turned into adoption with the family that adopted the two siblings ended up bringing the two of them too derry,  maine.  immediately the youngest sibling knew something was off about the town  ;  the atmosphere unsettling but kept it to himself,  not wanting to blow the change he had with his brother at having a new life.  (   he and vergil are still cambion’s,  but their power is,  like,  kinda not as Large as it is normally.  still half demons tho folks.   )

the youngest had trouble settling in a new town,  smaller than the last  –   economically  (  as he and his twin were upper class before this )   and town size in general with more seeming conservative values.  he was lucky to find himself in a slightly liberal and understanding household as he was a transgender kid who no one knew any less of. something he was more careful to keep to himself.

everything was fine,  the brothers settled in and all was well until it wasn’t.  exploring the woods and the barrens  –  finally opening up to his brother that things were strange in the town and he could feel something off.  they went looking but in doing so  . .  there had been an opening of weakness for the two  –  distractions and a trap.  their mother,  burned and in pain asking for their help  ;  of course the two came closer.  there was a small difference in this faux recreation and trauma that dante noticed  –  calling out for his brother to stay away but,  unfortunately the youngest saw the eldest fall victim to the trap  –  terrified and running away when he couldn’t do anything but possibly fall victim too.

time passed,  school continued on with whispers and comments on how the twin had probably did it himself,  causing the kid to isolate himself from everyone even though he knew what he say.  adults didn’t believe him but there was a group that seemed to have had a run in with this   . .  fuckin’ clown.  

(   going off:  smol™ dante getting involved with the losers after he straight up talks to one of them about what happened and what he saw  /  big™ dante having gone off like the rest of the losers doing his own thing aka kill other demon / eldritch things as normal kinda sorta and then re - meet up with them  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

same person but different mistakes  ;  still wrought pain upon brothers ( altered outcome / divergent v. )

CANON DMC DIVERGENT.   pretty much a what if  /  reversal if dante led the life vergil did instead of vergil himself.  it’s pretty much the same events but with dante the cause of them or involved instead of vergil.  his attitude is close to what 2.0 dante is but not entirely there in terms of destruction.  however he is still trying to deal with the aftermath of nelo angelo fame and dmcv’s whole thing.

ARISE ;  for you are reborn into something greater.   ARISE    baricontralto angelo - fight.  ( post dmc 5 div. nelo angelo dante v  )

HE HAD BEEN COCKY. the cambion had been cocky upon returning back with his twin from the underworld   ;   cocky that with his twin that nobody could beat them if they simply worked together.  and he was right.  he was right up until he was wrong and time,  well  . . time wasn’t kind.    it had been nine months   since their return from the underworld from cutting down the qliphoth and in that time a   familiar blue amulet   found itself back in dante’s possession.  it had been lost for several decades,  having been lost to the boy during the day he had come home to find gavreel and the family slaughtered on the lawn.

he kept it close,  he knew the meaning   –  he knew that there was   peace   again but  .  . he knew the danger of once again having this but would not dare get rid of it   –  he’d ride the coaster until it stopped.  he’d be happy to have this shred of happiness and he felt he was finally allowed to have something   –   happy to have his brother back and have some semblance of family.

that was,  well,  until he   lost   the amulet.  he didn’t notice that he did,  believing it was still in pocket during a small run in with demons  ;  a job that he had taken alone   –  it seemed that fate was playing her hand that day.   it had been dropped during an evasion and was lost upon his shift ahead   –  he didn’t even spot it.  the job became less easy,  it tiring him considerably as the  small group   of demons became larger   –   and while it was initially a challenge   . .

it soon became taxing.  as the larger the numbers the more exhausted the demon hunter became,  the more he started to slip up.

it was only then did he realize that this was no job.  it was a   trap   and he was caught in a net he couldn’t tear himself from.  a familiar feeling emerged,  one he   hadn’t felt   for decades.  a demonic force that he had thrown fury at that same time.  he hadn’t been this week before.  he knew who this was and   . .   he was in trouble.  this trap had been calculated and he had fallen into it hook,  line and sinker.

the distraction of the feeling,  of the demonic energy rising in the space leaves him vulnerable  –  attacks slicing at his back,  his arms and legs   –   a lucky slash to his throat leaves him struggling and gripping his throat.   he hits his knees before he realizes he does  ; he ultimately   —   unintentionally   —   bows    to the demon king before he passes out, demonic weapons and claws slashing into his back.

the next   redacted years   in the demon world are a nightmare that  post   angelo dante would have trouble remembering for all that happened are buried deep in repressed memories.  the years blur together,  but dante holds for a long time  –  dante suffers,  he burns,  he aches,  he struggles    –   he perseveres.  for a time anyway.   he recalls and holds onto the trade out  . .  that this could have been   vergil   here instead of he.  last minute changes,  bouts of laughter as he accepted the job and ran out the door.  

see you soon   he had said.  but the jovial air had long past.  memories begin to muddle,  to ebb and fade in and out as things became foggy.  a struggle to remember  –   a struggle to fight but   . .   not all fights can be won.  this one eventually was lost.

out of years of torturous pain and bloodshed arose a new pet,  a puppet that was loyal and true.  one that slaughtered doppelganger after doppelganger of brother and self,  of friends and allies that the king knew that the former knew.  he was satisfied that his little puppet would do just fine.  that perhaps he could lure in his old   ;   have the complete set  –  for use of the younger did fine in breaking the elder.

this soldier has two forms  ;  one that fed to his devil trigger (   generic nelo angelo  –  not much power is used for it  –  basically it’s dante on the regular tapping into demonic power with his first devil trigger.  he’s stronger than normal,  having given into his addiction to human and demon blood and grown more powerful because of it  )  

and another that feeds into his   sin   devil trigger  (  essentially the  ‘  dragon  ‘  -  esque look.  however its almost imperfect in how the black scales have become the darkish red  / brown  ;  something not quite right.  scales do fall off without warning from time to time, revealing a near lava like flow underneath.   )  

baricontralto  . .  a name to be used to not arouse suspicion  ;   a soldier that would destroy armies and bring cities to their knees in the name of his master.   time would be swift for the pawn to be used,  for the king himself was pleased.  he was cocky with his new toy  . .   and it wasn’t long before he was to be used   . .  

despite all your losses & destruction ; despite trauma &  trials  . .  my darling boy you’re still you. (  undertale v.  )

[  fight  ]                     [  act ]                    [  item  ]                   [ mercy  ]    

                                     ↳   [  dante sparda ]                                      ↳   [   check  ]

IT WAS UNPRECEDENTED.  a human and a monster coming together and falling in love.  falling in love after the war to a human   witch   that found herself in the closed off underground after a tumble.  sparda protected eva from the monsters at first,  keeping her under his care  –  yet the umbra witch found herself using her powers and skills to assist in healing a monster in peril.  

keeping eva out of harms way was  . .  difficult due to her humanity being a source of contention.  monsters wanted to escape.  eva rather enjoyed being alive.  in the end eva’s healing magic to save and protect those around her and her love and the fact that she was  older   and not prime use to open a proper exit to the human world.  asgore swore eva off limits to monsters as she was kind and a healer to them all.

in time sparda and her married and she bore two children  ;   hybrids   –   part monster and part human.

but not even the king’s word could stop those who still feared humans and humanity.  those who held   rage   toward a species that had caused so much trouble and locked them away for thousands of years,  if not more.   a fire erupted into the underground,  started at the quaint yet spacious house and spread further throughout the underground.  by the time it had been put out  –  eva had been recovered,  dead,  in the home attempting to escape herself but the boys nowhere to be found.  with her last ounce of magic she had sent her boys away,  far away and out of the underground and topside.

now alone and separated from his remaining family and traumatized by the attack to his home the hybrid remained alone  –  growing up such until he found himself protecting humanity against   other   monsters   ;   demons.  demons and monsters that had managed to stay in the human world but grew dangerous and lost themselves.   dante sparda grew to love his humanity yet slowly accept the monster part of himself.

with a job giving him   whispers   of the brother he thought he lost through his own hand now somehow residing in the underground  . .  he flew in to investigate,  still holding some anger over what had been done to his family yet   . .  holding   determination   and patience to deal with the rumors and what he’s about to come across.

[quixol]

11/5/2018 - 1/11/2019: QuixolMC Changelog #25

Good afternoon, and happy 2019 to you!

It’s been over two months since our last changelog post- we put this off for a long time. Now it’s a whole year later!!!!! haha...

Anyways, A lot has happened since our previous changelog post. Most crucially, as you all know, was our long-awaited update to minecraft 1.13! Really, we should’ve done this post shortly after that, as the update alone accounted for months and months of effort from the staff all coming to a head in just one week. Seriously, we put a tremendous amount of work into making sure this update went as smoothly as it possibly could, and it really showed off!

Since then, we’ve gained hundreds of new faces in our community, and even rolled over into a new calendar year... So, yeah. These past two months have been big for us! As such, there’s a ton to cover in this changelog post. So much so, that we’ve decided on introducing a new format to these changelog posts, which should hopefully help somewhat in the readability of this long, long post... It’s still gonna be a lot of information to take in, regardless. We hope you’ll understand!

Anyhow, enough exposition, let’s get into it. Here’s everything that’s changed since before the update!

Changes are separated into one of four categories: Gameplay, Server Builds / Locations, Technical / Bug fixes, and Plugin / Software updates. They are sorted chronologically within these categories, from oldest to most recent. Dates are formatted mm/dd/yy.

Key:

+ Feature added - Feature removed % Feature changed/bug fix ^ Feature updated (usually plugin updates) # Comment (for… comments.)

Notable changes from 11/5/2018 to 1/11/2019:

- Gameplay -

+ [11/05/18] Updated server to Minecraft 1.13.2 % [11/05/18] Spawn limits for water-animals upped from 5 -> 15 # This matches vanilla values for 1.13+. Affects mob cap of squids, fish, etc. % [11/05/18] mob-spawn-range value changed from 4 -> 8 # This value is used in determining the mob cap for a world. # 8 is the “vanilla” value, although it’s a bit more complicated than that. % [11/05/18] dragon-death-sound-radius changed to 128 blocks % [11/05/18] sound effect of thunder will only play within a radius of 256 blocks of players % [11/06/18] Disabled teleport safety in essentials # any act of teleporting will now take you to the exact coordinates you were to teleport to, even if it is unsafe to do so % [11/06/18] Compasses will no longer point to your first essentials /home + [11/06/18] Added plugin: FactionsUUID 0.2.3-b123 # A fork of an old factions version, updated to support name changes. This version of factions has a lot of differences from the "modern" factions, also known as "mcore factions". % [11/06/18] "power per hour" is now "power per minute". you gain 0.1 power per minute, or 6 power per hour. % [11/06/18] power loss on death is now 6. % [11/06/18] Faction roles are different. The hierarchy is now as follows: Recruit -> Normal -> Mod -> Coleader -> Admin % [11/06/18] Creating a faction now costs 500 shells % [11/06/18] Changing faction tag (faction name) now costs 400 shells % [11/06/18] You can no longer claim land right up next to allied factions, you need a distance of 6 chunks from each others' claims just as you normally would a neutral faction % [11/07/18] Sending items or mobs through nether or end portals no longer works in Protos + [11/07/18] Introduced updated 1.13 head drops datapack! Version: 1.0 # % Parrots' default loot table now contains all parrot head types. that way, if the mob sub-type module is not working, you can still get heads from parrots, you just won't (usually) get the head corresponding to the type of parrot you killed. this matches the loot tables zombie villagers, llamas, etc have. # % Rabbits' default loot tables also now contain all (natural) rabbit head types. does not contain toast or killer bunny heads. # % Shulker heads are now called "Mini Shulker" (consistency w/ guardian head drop) # % Slime heads are now called "Mini Slime" # % Magma Cube heads are now called "Mini Magma Cube" # % Ghast heads are now called "Mini Ghast" # % Snowman heads are now called "Snow Golem Head" # % White sheep heads are now called "White Sheep Head" instead of just "Sheep Head" # % For some reason, Zombie Villagers were twice as likely to drop rare drops such as iron ingots, carrots, potatos. Changed this back to vanilla values. (previously it was a 5% chance, w/ +2% per looting lvl, vanilla is 2.5% w/ +1% per looting lvl) # + Cod head: 10% head drop, +1% per looting lvl # + Dolphin head: 25% head drop, +2% per looting lvl # + Drowned head: 2% head drop, +2% per looting lvl # + Phantom head: 10% head drop, +1% per looting lvl # + Pufferfish head: 15% head drop, +1% per looting lvl # + Salmon head: 10% head drop, +1% per looting lvl # + Tropical fish head: 10% head drop, +1% per looting lvl # + Turtle head: 10% head drop, +1% per looting lvl + [11/07/18] Introduced QuixolMC's custom datapack version 0.1! # I don't have a better name for it, so deal with it! # % Changed saddle recipe slightly (see summary for the updated recipe) # % Changed Shulker Shell recipe to contain Phantom Membrane instead of ender pearl. # made custom advancements for granting recipes: # + unlock cobble recipe when picking up furnace # + unlock horse armor recipes when picking up their respective ingot/gem # + unlock enchanted golden apple recipe when picking up gold block # + unlock nether wart recipe when picking up nether wart block # + unlock saddle recipe when picking up leather # + unlock shulker shell recipe when picking up purpur block # + unlock totem of undying recipe when picking up nether star # added a few other custom advancements: # + Added a challenge advancement for killing a charged creeper # + Added an advancement for getting a cactus # + Added a challenge advancement for being killed by a villager % [11/07/18] Changes to alchemy skill # They've basically been doubled... leveling this was a pain # + Potion_Stage_1: 15 -> 30 # + Potion_Stage_2: 30 -> 60 # + Potion_Stage_3: 60 -> 120 # + Potion_Stage_4: 120 -> 240 % [11/07/18] Changes to woodcutting skill # These are just the new blocks for 1.13 # + Stripped_Oak_Log: 70 # + Stripped_Spruce_Log: 80 # + Stripped_Birch_Log: 90 # + Stripped_Jungle_Log: 90 # + Stripped_Acacia_Log: 90 # + Stripped_Dark_Oak_Log: 90 % [11/07/18] Changes to blast mining: # - Blast mining was nerfed a bit. The level you have to reach to reach the next "rank" was doubled, so it will take longer to unlock the benefits of each "rank" within blast mining % [11/07/18] Buffed taming skill slightly: # The level needed to unlock a few abilities was reduced. # + Fast Food: 50 -> 35 # + Environmentally Aware: 100 -> 75 # + Thick Fur: 250 -> 225 # + Holy Hound: 375 -> 350 % [11/07/18] Nerfed unarmed skill: # - BonusMin is now 0.0 (you start out with no boost to unarmed attacks) # - BonusMax is now 7.0 (down from 8.0) % [11/07/18] Nerfed axes skill: # - Max attack bonus (+4) is now reached at level 600 instead of level 400 # - Damage modifier for critical hits when PVPing is now 1.25 instead of 1.5 % [11/08/18] Reset mcMMO, Economy, Jobs, Factions data % [11/08/18] if you’re in a job that pays for smelting, you’re limited to 20 furnaces at a time max + [11/08/18] Introduced the brand-new Explorer job! Gain money by exploring the world. # Each time you enter a newly discovered chunk (one nobody has been in before), you get paid! # Even if you aren't the first to discover an area, you still get paid if you are the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, or 5th. The amount paid out depends on how many others found it before you. + [11/09/18] Added Faction Extras 1.0.0! # A custom script, coded by admin Vivian. Adds a little bit of additional functionality to Factions, such as faction warps and the ability to buy more faction power for your faction. % [11/09/18] Faction powerboosts now give you a PERMANENT boost to your power- not just your maxpower. # So, if you have a powerboost of +5, and you have 5 power left and die, you won't go below 5 power. # This can't be configured w/ factionsUUID. So... guess we'll have to just accept it!! % [11/09/18] Exp loss on death reduced to 1/3rd (prev. 1/2) + [11/09/18] QUIXOLMC: Now 1.13.2 Public Beta! # Full changelog for minecraft 1.13 here. % [11/10/18] Nerfed explorer job # - first: inc/exp: 5 -> 4 # - second: inc/exp: 2.5 -> 2.25 # - third: inc/exp: 1.0 -> 0.8 # - fourth: inc/exp: 0.5 -> 0.35 # - fifth: inc/exp: 0.1 -> 0.05 % [11/10/18] bumped up unarmed skill a bit # + bonusmin changed to 1 instead of 0 # unarmed attacks should start out with a +1 attack boost instead of +0 now % [11/10/18] Reduced mob-spawn-range to 6 # This should reduce the mob cap/mob spawns. Done for performance. % [11/11/18] Further reduced mob-spawn-range to 4 # We’re back to where it was before the update. Also for performance. % [11/12/18] Fixed builder job for 1.13 # + Bark: 1.0 inc, 0.75 exp # + Glass: 1.5 inc/exp # + Sandstone: 1.5 inc/exp % [11/13/18] Changed thunder sound radius to 512 blocks % [11/14/18] Nerfed explorer job again # - first: inc/exp: 4.0 -> 3.5 # - second: inc/exp: 2.25 -> 1.75 # - third: inc/exp: 0.8 -> 0.75 # - fourth: inc/exp: 0.35 -> 0.25 # - fifth: exp: 0.05 -> 0.02 % [11/15/18] Added more to Woodcutter job # + Stripped logs (all types): inc: 0.75 , exp: 0.25 % [11/15/18] Added more to Miner job # + Coral blocks (all types): inc: 2.0, exp: 3.0 # + Cobble/mossy cobble wall: inc/exp: 2.5 # + Stained terracotta (only naturally generated variants): inc: 0.15, exp: 0.2 # - Emerald ore (on place): -15 inc, -30 exp % [11/15/18] Added more to Builder job # + Coral blocks (all variants): inc: 2, exp: 3 # + Dead coral blocks (all variants): inc: 1, exp: 2 # + Dried kelp block: inc: 1.5, exp: 2 % [11/15/18] Added more to Engineer job # + All new button types: inc/exp: 0.5 # + All new pressure plate types: inc/exp: 0.8 % [11/15/18] Changes/additions to Digger job # - removed pay for digging red sandstone # - removed pay for digging stained terracotta # % coarse dirt: inc: 0.25 -> 0.5 , exp: 0.25 -> 1.0 # + podzol: inc: 0.25 -> 0.5 , exp: 0.25 -> 1.0 # % red sand: exp: 0.5 -> 1.0 # % clay: inc/exp: 1.0 -> 1.2 # + mycelium: inc: 1.0 , exp: 1.25 # + soul sand: inc/exp: 1.0 % [11/15/18] Additions to Farmer job # + Taming parrot: inc/exp: 5.0 # + Taming ocelot: inc/exp: 5.0 # + Taming llama: inc/exp: 5.0 # + Breeding mooshroom: inc: 4.0 , exp: 5.0 # + Breeding llama: inc: 4.0 , exp: 5.0 # + Breeding turtle: inc: 4.0 , exp: 5.0 # + Coral fans (all variants): inc: 2.0 , exp: 2.5 # + Kelp: inc/exp: 0.5 # + Seagrass/tall seagrass: inc/exp: 0.2 # + Sea pickle: inc/exp: 1.0 # + Planting Cocoa beans: inc/exp: 1.5 # + Planting pumpkin/melon seeds: inc/exp: 1.5 % [11/15/18] Slightly nerfed Farmer job in other ways # - planting wheat/potatos/carrots/beetroot: inc/exp: 2.0 -> 1.5 % [11/16/18] Additions to Hunter job # + Drowned: inc: 10.0 , exp: 20.0 # + Phantom: inc: 15.0 , exp: 20.0 % [11/16/18] Changes/additions to Crafter job # + Oak fence gate: inc/exp: 0.5 # + Oak fence: inc/exp: 0.5 # + Spruce, birch, jungle, acacia, dark oak doors: inc/exp: 0.15 -> 0.5 # + All bed types: inc/exp: 3.0 # + Terracotta: inc/exp: 1.5 # + Glass: inc/exp: 0.3 # % Stone brick stairs: inc: 0.5 -> 2.5 , exp: 0.5 -> 3.0 # + All stairs: inc: 2.5 , exp: 3.0 # % Heavy weighted pressure plate: inc/exp: 2.5 -> 3.0 # + All pressure plates: inc/exp: 3.0 % [11/17/18] Additions to Weaponsmith job # + Craft Turtle helmet: inc: 20.0 , exp: 40.0 % [11/17/18] Additions to Brewer job # + Gunpowder: inc/exp: 6.0 # + Dragon's breath: inc/exp: 25.0 # + Turtle helmet: inc/exp: 16.0 # + Phantom membrane: inc/exp: 12.0 % [11/17/18] Additions to Enchanter job # + Frost walker 1: inc/exp: 10.0 # + Frost walker 2: inc/exp: 20.0 # + Sweeping edge 1: inc: 15 , exp: 20 # + Sweeping edge 2: inc: 25 , exp: 30 # + Sweeping edge 3: inc: 35 , exp: 40 # + Curse of binding: inc/exp: 5.0 # + Curse of vanishing: inc/exp: 5.0 # + Mending: inc: 100.0 , exp: 300.0 # + Impaling 1: inc/exp: 10.0 # + Impaling 2: inc/exp: 20.0 # + Impaling 3: inc/exp: 30.0 # + Impaling 4: inc/exp: 40.0 # + Impaling 5: inc/exp: 50.0 # + Loyalty 1: inc/exp: 10.0 # + Loyalty 2: inc/exp: 20.0 # + Loyalty 3: inc/exp: 30.0 # + Riptide 1: inc/exp: 20.0 # + Riptide 2: inc/exp: 30.0 # + Riptide 3: inc/exp: 40.0 # + Channeling: inc/exp: 25.0 % [11/18/18] Nerfed endermen payment in Hunter job # - Enderman: inc: 15.0 -> 5.0 , exp: 30.0 -> 2.5 % [11/18/18] Nerfed Explorer job (3rd time's the charm?) # - 1st: inc: 3.5 -> 3.0 , exp: 3.5 -> 3.0 # - 2nd: inc: 1.75 -> 1.5 , exp: 1.75 -> 1.5 # - 3rd: exp: 0.75 -> 0.7 # + 4th: exp: 0.25 -> 0.3 # + 5th: exp: 0.02 -> 0.1

- Server Builds / Locations -

+ [11/07/18] Added a BRAND NEW WORLD for 1.13.2: Ghalea! + [11/07/18] Render distance for ghalea: 8 + [11/07/18] Render distance for ghalea's nether/end: 7 # Ghalea is (currently) not pre-generated. All chunks loaded in the world are player-generated. % [11/07/18] Spawnpoint changed to Ghalea + [11/07/18] Completely revamped and updated our server spawnpoint, Orsus! % [11/08/18] Moved the tutorial to Ghalea % [11/08/18] Made the Pool of Resurrection less... bubbly % [11/08/18] Spawn world for new players is now Ghalea % [11/09/18] Far warps were updated for Ghalea, they are all /warp North/East/South/West % [11/09/18] all protos far warps have been renamed /warp OldNorth/OldEast etc % [11/09/18] Info center signs are also updated, warps to protos specify that on the sign % [11/09/18] Tutorial has been tweaked, the only sign to change was the factions plugin sign - [11/09/18] Removed warps: smaench, lotl, dinnerparty # /warp minigames will still take you to the first two % [11/09/18] Returning players are now sent to Ghalea when joining + [11/09/18] Added new warp, NoobisLand , where new players can get started in Ghalea! % [11/11/18] moved "void" jail to ghalea + [11/18/18] Released the Ghalean end world! + [12/21/18] Added /warp CandyLand , a new server warp for the festive season!

- Technical / Bug fixes -

+ [11/05/18] async chunks enabled for both loading and chunk generation # major performance improvement here % [11/06/18] Changed login/logout messages to include username % [11/07/18] staff can no longer use /ride on non-living entities (paintings, armor stands, etc)... sorry!! % [11/07/18] Ghalea changed to default world % [11/07/18] Transferred player files, map files to Ghalea's folder % [11/07/18] Changed keep-spawn-loaded radius to 5 chunks, down from 8. % [11/07/18] Messages from LWC (regarding registering/unregestering proections) now send in action bar % Protected region around Orsus (where no mobs may spawn) expanded to 600x600 (previously 500x500) # it goes from coords -300, 0, -300 to 300, 255, 300 % [11/07/18] made it so all mcmmo party members are informed when their party levels up, bc why not % [11/08/18] Renamed Fisherman job to Fisher - [11/08/18] Sitting in chairs is disabled right now, due to bugs + [11/09/18] Added new kit, /kit ghalea, given to returning players upon entering ghalea % [11/10/18] Fixed /msg not working + [11/12/18] Gave players permission to use /f status % [11/12/18] Fixed permissions for using /f perm, /f promote, or /f demote % [11/12/18] coleader role should now be able to use /fx commands % [11/12/18] coleader role should no longer show up as "?" in qchat % [11/13/18] Thunder should now make sound outside of the immediate vicinity of the lightning strike once again % [11/13/18] When respawning, players with no bed spawn/faction home will now be sent to the world spawn once again, instead of the origin of whatever world they were in # The order of respawn priority is now: spawnpoint -> bed spawn -> faction home % [11/13/18] Reduced entity activation range slightly # - Animals: 32 -> 24 # - Monsters: 32 -> 30 % [11/18/18] Re-added worldborder plugin, because apparently we didn't have that for a whole week, WOOPS % [11/22/18] made celebratory fireworks for each 100 mcmmo skill levels a smaller firework... hopefully less laggy? % [11/22/18] Set a maximum limit for factions claiming land to 750 chunks. Factions cannot claim more than this amount of chunks % [11/23/18] Fixed some false-positives in the word filter again % [11/23/18] Also made the word filter a bit more lax with certain phrases % [11/25/18] Fixed bug where zombies in death animation could be converted to drowned % [11/25/18] Fixed dupe glitch with sea pickles + sponges (possibly other underwater plants?) % [11/25/18] Large improvements to redstone performance % [11/25/18] Reduced entity activation range for hostile mobs to 24 blocks % [11/29/18] fix for entity dismounting being weird % [12/02/18] You can now pet sheeps with an empty main hand once again! % [12/09/18] Novices should be able to chop the tree in the tutorial once again % [12/21/18] Fix issue where you’d be kicked for “Book too large!” when writing even rather short books % [12/21/18] Fixes relating to alchemy skill sometimes not getting xp for a brew(?) % [12/21/18] Fixed issue with mcmmo double drop items sometimes clipping into other blocks, and floating away due to item elevator effect - [01/03/19] Removed permissions for /recipe command due to a nasty exploit with it % [01/07/19] Fixed some blocks in LWC not being able to be protected + [01/07/19] Player usernames will now reflect their afk status in the tab list % [01/07/19] Updated tablist footer. it has more tridents! % [01/07/19] Upgraded the server to a more modern machine, should help performance % [01/07/19] Tweaked the motd format again, slightly more compact now % [01/11/19] Fixed not being able to place double half-slabs at y:255 % [01/11/19] disconnecting from the server while you are the passenger of another entity will now forcibly dismount you from that entity # This differs from vanilla behavior, whereas before if you logged out while riding an entity (like a horse, pig, etc) your vehicle would disappear along with you, and reappear once you logged in again % [01/11/19] Fixed bug with factions overclaiming!!! # This was a pretty serious bug; previously any person could claim as many chunks as they wanted to for their faction, regardless of their faction’s power. # In spite of this being fixed, any faction who still has more land claimed than their power permits will still have that land claimed. So, please be courteous and unclaim your excess chunks if you have any. (you can see with /f show)

- Plugin / Software Updates -

^ [11/05/18] LuckPerms -> 4.3.17 ^ [11/06/18] PerWorldInventory -> 2.2.1 ^ [11/06/18] EssentialsX -> dev-31.157 ^ [11/06/18] Quixol-framework -> 1.1.0 ^ [11/06/18] Biography -> 1.7.0 # + Technically not new, but you can now use color/format codes in your bio depending on your permissions. ^ [11/06/18] playtime -> 0.6.0 ^ [11/06/18] pronouns -> 2.7.2 ^ [11/06/18] LWC -> ModernLWC 2.1.2-dev63 ^ [11/07/18] easycommands -> 1.9.0 ^ [11/07/18] mcMMO -> 1.6.0-b51 ^ [11/08/18] AreaShop -> 2.5.0 ^ [11/08/18] Jobs -> 4.9.1 ^ [11/08/18] Craftbook -> 3.9-b4452 ^ [11/09/18] Orchid -> 0.4.1 ^ [11/09/18] easyalias -> 1.8.0 ^ [11/09/18] Deathpenalty -> 1.1.1 + [11/09/18] Added Faction Extras 1.0.0 - [11/09/18] Removed randomtp plugin (it's broken) + [11/09/18] Added Mineable spawners 1.4 # replacement for silkspawners plugin ^ [11/12/18] faction extras -> 1.0.1 ^ [11/17/18] Jobs -> 4.9.3 ^ [11/25/18] Updated server .jar, Paper 1.13.2 b428 -> Paper 1.13.2 b461 ^ [11/25/18] EssentialsX -> dev-39.182 ^ [11/29/18] Updated server .jar, Paper 1.13.2 b461 -> Paper 1.13.2 b469 ^ [11/29/18] Craftbook -> 3.10 beta-01 ^ [12/21/18] Updated server .jar, Paper 1.13.2 b469 -> Paper 1.13.2 b486 ^ [12/21/18] FactionsUUID -> U0.2.3-b124 ^ [12/21/18] mcMMO -> 1.6.0-b56 ^ [01/07/19] AreaShop -> 2.5.0-b275 ^ [01/07/19] DiscordSRV -> 1.16.6 ^ [01/07/19] ModernLWC -> 2.1.2 ^ [01/07/19] PerWorldInventory -> 2.2.2 ^ [01/07/19] EssentialsX -> 2.16.0.3 ^ [01/11/19] Updated server .jar, Paper 1.13.2 b486 -> Paper 1.13.2 b498 ^ [01/11/19] Faction extras -> 1.0.2 # % simple hotfix for faction powerboosts not being properly applied due to how FactionsUUID handles powerboosts

List of known bugs/issues:

! Inventories saved in 1.11 - 1.12 (in the world Protos) may have shulker box data corrupted. undyed shulker boxes turn into purple shulker boxes, and any items inside shulker boxes may lose all of their NBT data. ! when you are killed by a mob you recently hurt, the death message just says you were killed by [a bunch of hearts], due to a mcMMO bug ! mcMMO doesn't give you alchemy exp for making slow falling potions ! /f show will not show offline players ! Changing factions permissions for containers / doors does not seem to work ! several other bugs in Factions ! Exploration job does not work properly ! Peculiar bug with items in cursor slot disappearing in the inventory? Has only been reported once; unable to reproduce ! Being killed by another player counts as a "killed by [mob]" in statistics, but killing another player will not increase this statistic, only dying to other players counts ! Peculiar bug with mobs (usually animals) held in pens suffocating in surrounding blocks. Potentially related to mob pathfinding ! Standing still on top of a boat in water will deplete your hunger very quickly for some reason(???) ! New players will occasionally not get teleported by the pressure plate at the end of the tutorial, and report that they can’t see anything (i.e., the chunks they are in just turn invisible, despite still being able to walk around and move and such) ! New player sound is broken

Things to come:

• A new market for Ghalea! • Releasing more custom advancements • Other updates to QuixolMC’s custom datapack • Fixing bugs, hopefully... • Updates to qChat, other custom scripts

last changelog post (#24)

about changelogs

Yikes, that was long. Possibly our longest changelog ever! Did you get all of that? It’s ok if you didn’t, but we like to provide all the relevant stuff for anyone who’s curious.

The staff collectively spent several months preparing for all of these 1.13 changes before the fact, as stated before. The project to revamp all of Orsus was going on behind the scenes since at least may of 2018... a whole half year before we finally updated! We were also making preparations for technical changes and testing out plugins and software and all the other preparations since around that time, as well. We hope you all can see that effort shine through in what you’ve experienced for yourself on the server.

If you were wondering about the change to the saddle’s crafting recipe, or any other custom crafting recipe on the server, the crafting page on our blog is properly updated. Here’s what it looks like if you don’t wanna click, though:

With all of that in mind, let us know what you think of this new format for the changelogs! Is it easier to navigate? Or does it just leave you feeling more overwhelmed? Obviously, the length of this changelog wouldn’t help it either way, but we tried our best to separate stuff into neat categories for you all. We always appreciate hearing your feedback.

Thanks for reading, and we hope you have a great 2019!

- Quixol Staff

[pepperony3000-archive]

Favourite avengers movies scenes?

So I’m not sure if you mean The Avengers movies proper, or MCU movies in general... so I’ll answer both. ;)

Fav Avengers scenes (in no particular order):

1) Natasha’s first scene in the first Avengers movie. I know everybody on this hellsite hates her now but like... that scene is just brilliant! It shows just how easily Natasha can play people around her, and she’s not afraid to put herself at genuine risk in order to manipulate people. It’s why she’s the master manipulator. She will let herself get captured and beaten up in order to get what she wants from her target just as easily as she’ll let herself don a fancy dress in order to get what she wants from her target.

2) The science bro “saved [my life] for what exactly” “I guess we’ll find out” scene in the first Avengers movie. It’s such a good scene, and really showcases why I love this dynamic so much. Tony acknowledges that Bruce finds himself trapped... there’s something inside of him that he just can’t control. And Tony doesn’t dismiss it. One might almost expect him to be dismissive of Bruce since he earlier so flagrantly pointed out how much he liked Hulk. In the Banner vs Hulk argument going on inside Bruce, he’d already allied himself with Hulk.Except in this moment, he also allied himself 100% with Banner. He tells Bruce that Hulk is only a “monster”, because he just hasn’t learned how to 100% control it... and points out that it’s Bruce’s life that was important enough to save and protect. I just love it.

3) Tony: “Please be a secret door please be a secret doorWall: *is a secret door*Tony: “Yay!”

4) Thor showing up in Wakanda in Infinity War. I cheered. I screamed. I celebrated. It was amazing

5) Gamora’s death and Peter Parker’s death (yes I know I’m cheating and doing a two-in-one here). I was never really a huge fan of Gamora... although she and Nebula are the only GOTG characters I even came close to really liking. But she was written so perfectly in Infinity War, I genuinely loved her death scene and it’s one of my favorites.And... I don’t think I need to tell y’all why I love this one, do I?

6) Steve’s... Wanda-vision I guess? Which honestly? I think it was the moment that I am going to believe started him in such a negative downward spiral that he became... not a character I could like.He comes face to face with the world he knew, with the woman he loved and lost, with the reality that... who he was and what he used to dream about could never happen. I think that scene is why he couldn’t really bring himself to sign the accords. When Tony appealed to his nostalgia he almost gave in, but I think he was just looking for an excuse not to.Because for him... the Avengers was the only compensation he had for losing everything. And he was afraid that if they were operating under the jurisdiction of someone or something else, it would not be what he needed it to be anymore.

Fav MCU-in-general/non-Avengers scenes (also in no particular order):

1) Tony Stark building the Iron Man suit in a cave!!! With a box of scraps!!! What’s not to love about these scenes? RDJ looking hot af with his bulging muscles, the cinematography being absolutely GORGEOUS, the music being perfect, the tension being palpable, and the joy and exuberance when he’s finished exhilarating. (Bonus points for how devastatingly sad their escape ended up being... rip Yinsen)

2) Pepperony dancing in Iron Man 1. MY GOD the sexual tension! There is a reason this ship is such an OTP it practically transcends even the word shipping! These two are perfect in literally every way and I will fight you on that.

3) Tony Stark building a new element in Iron Man 2. It’s like version 2.0 of him building the Mk 1: Bulging muscles? Check! Amazing cinematography? Check! Music? Spot on perfect. Tension? Well... slightly less palpable, but they’ve literally been buillding up that Tony’s dying this whole movie and he finally actually has a chance to save his own life! Exuberance upon completion? Check!The only annoying thing is when Coulson interrupts the montage to be intolerable...

4) Peggy Carter, Steve Rogers, and Howard Stark “do you... fondue” scene. My GOD it was amazing. My son Steve Rogers when he was still my second favorite character in the entire MCU being amazing and awkward, Howard being oblivious to how much he’s just exuding pure flirtatiousness here (haha that’s a lie, he knows exactly what he’s doing to poor Steve), and Peggy WTFing at her idiot guys. I love it.

5) Steggy’s first and last kiss. It’s fine. I’m fine. I don’t need happiness or anything. It’s not like they were perfect together and going to the future ended up just ruining Steve’s personality. It’s not like they deserved to be happy together. (Bonus points to their final conversation. THEY DESERVED THAT DANCE DAMMIT!!! I will never forgive the Russo’s for not making the scene where Steve visits old!Peggy longer and have it end with him gently picking her up in his arms and sway-dancing with her. THEY DESERVED IT!!! WE DESERVED IT!!!)

6) The entirety of Iron Man 3. I’m sorry but I cannot pick out one single scene from that movie that’s my favorite. That movie is massively underrated, simply because comic nerds were annoyed that it wasn’t predictable like literally every other movie has been (and were annoyed by the narrative basically telling them to stop being racist little fucks).Bonus: the Iron Man 3 post credits scene. For some reason people have sorta been hating on Bruce for that scene lately. I genuinely don’t get why! Like... that scene wasn’t about Bruce not caring about Tony! That scene was about how Bruce cares about and is so comfortable around Tony that he can relax around him. He can fall asleep around him. And Tony? Tony didn’t actually care. If he did he wouldn’t have immediately started another story about his “original trauma” immediately after their little snark fest.

7) Scott being toddler-sized in Ant-Man and the Wasp. That was just pure hilarity through and through. I loved every second of it.

8) JANET VAN DYNE!!! I’m sorry, but Jan is my literal favorite. Tony is (obviously) my favorite MCU character, but if I’m being perfectly honest with myself he’s probably my second favorite Marvel character... second only to Jan. She is amazing and badass and perfect and the fact that MICHELLE ACTUAL-GODDESS PFIEFFER PLAYS HER somehow makes her even better. Can the third movie in the Bug Trilogy be all about her? I just need more Jan. I don’t care if it’s a movie about Jan and Hank, or a movie about Jan and Scott, or a movie about Jan and Hope. I just want as much Jan as physically possible. I know that that isn’t a scene that’s a character but... I’M SORRY IF A SCENE HAS JAN IN IT IT’S AUTOMATICALLY ONE OF THE TOP BEST SCENES IN ANY MOVIE EVER I’M SORRY I DON’T MAKE THE RULES.

9) Basically any scene with Okoye. Honestly, Danai Gurira surprised the FUCK outta me with her talent. All I knew was that she was in The Walking Dead (which I’ve admittedly not scene) and so dismissed her as probably not being super talented because... well have you heard the reputation that show has gotten?Anyway... her performance continually impresses me, and she’s absolutely amazing! But my favorite scene specifically was the scene... I think it was between Nakia and Okoye (I’ve only watched that movie once... I KNOW I’M AWFUL) after T’Challa dies and Okoye basically says she can’t go against Erik because she is loyal to the THRONE of Wakanda, even if her heart is loyal to other people.

And I was GOING to do top 5 Avengers moments and top 10 non Avengers moments, but since I did 6 Avengers moments (plus a cheat), I’ll stop at 9 for non-Avengers moments.

And hey... while we’re at it:

Send me asks about anything you want my opinion on

[kazamastar]

Welcome to 2019

Version 3.0 : Final Version - Wow. February and finally, the 9th is here. All of you my 488 followers can finally enjoy it (372 by the end of 2017). I’ve never been that late to write a sum up but it’s pretty obvious that if it took me so much time to do it, then deep down I didn’t want to do it. Indeed I was about to let that sink in and leave this post with the version 2.0. But I remembered I had one person to honor. And this is what this year 2018 is about : focusion on the good actions and the good people. Because spoiler alert : this year 2018 have been on some other level of shit. More than 2013, 2014 and 2017 combined.

Pic : Plot twist. No more smile. No more bowtie.

Well let’s do some quickmaths : as i said we upgraded from 372 to 488 followers (and roughly 2,241 posts). For the 9th time I have to say that I have mad love for y’all (except fake pr0n blogs, y’all aint shit). For the humans that still follow me : thank you. And I’ll have even more love for the poeple who read this until the end haha. I have to apologize because these last months my tumblr looks pretty much like a mess, between the heartbreaking lyrics, quotes, passive agressive posts than only a few people can understand ... And that’s all because of that one follower I lost (y’all understood it was an euphemism). But to be accurate, I don’t want this post to become another heartbreak post : there are already too much of them on my tumblr. Indeed, it’s one of the main contraints I forced myself to write under. Because “l’art naît de contraintes” (Art rises from contraints) like Van Gogh said. So : not another heartbreak post where I pour my heart out for a girl who won’t even read it (guess I’ve done enough with the Helsinki post).  But it’s kinda difficult because this break up is the main reason my 4 last months of 2018 (and on...) have been so so awful and so much things happened because of this. But nevermind I’ll do my best. I’ll do my best because like I said, this post is more about love. This break up surely made me less human, mistrustful, but still, I’m writting because I’ve seen beautiful actions that had to be honored. But we’ll see that later. What other contraints for this 9th sum up ? A young lady I’ve met this year challenged me to write 2 good things for 1 bad that happened to me this year. I’m sorry, I failed ahah. I found more good than bad, but that 2 for 1 ratio was a bit too much ahah. Désolé ma grande ;) And because of this, I had to have a kind of draft for writting, even though I always told myself these sum up needed to be written without drafts, to keep them kinda “natural”. Looks like I’m taking this more and more seriously haha. Well, when I say that this year have been worse than my 3 worst years combined this is not a joke. Have you ever told yourself for example “Wow I left all my stuff in the car, I would be deadly unlucky if someone would break into it and stole everything !” ...Yes, that’s that level of mischance. Because this happened to me btw. And that’s the spirit of this whole year. In “Welcome to 2016″ I remember talking about “mala suerte” ... that was bullshit, 2018 is the real mala suerte. The heartbreak of this year is the worst of my whole life by far, then I’ve been close to what I dreamt of in karate, what I fight for since 2011, had 2 chances to get it this year and I still not got it by a hair’s breadth. Dad got into a crash car, hopefully only the car got wrecked. (so sad it won’t take me again to Andorra haha) People kept on deceiving me. Close friends but also unknowns.

People close to me know how much I cherish friendship. If you’re my friend and you’re not doing well, then I’m already on my way to yours to fix you. No exceptions. Even faster if it’s because of a heartbreak, because heartbroken people should never feel lonely. It’s that simple. SO when I see fuckers I have been there for through ups, downs and heartbreaks and these people are not even able to give it back to me I can’t help being mad. And I don’t act like that in order to make people give that kindness back to me, that’s not the purpose. But I do hate ungratefulness. So, I had to go through a heartbreak again and I saw people disappear again. So that’s enough lines wasted talking about these people. I also have to talk about those who were there. In 2018 I also found an awesome training partner and got closer to her clan. That’s a positive energy I really needed on that 2nd half of 2018. Par ailleurs, tu liras surement jamais ça mais je me permets une parenthèse pour te dire encore une fois Merci Julie pour avoir sauvé ma vie. This kind of old friendship is priceless to me. We can also talk about some young friendship : in march I met someone (almost my best 2018, except I didn’t manage to define an encounter good enough to define it as the best of 2018) who made me go deeper into Tekken, making me getting closer to the Tekken community in Tls. Funny how I always dreamt of this when I was a kid and this is happening. Indeed I’m living the shonen life : I’m in a group (where I met some really lovely people), I’m not the strongest but hell I do what I can to improve and that’s begining to pay even if i won’t forget the 68-0 against sensei, and like in karate I still aim to the top. It’s funny to be inside another competitive world where people don’t have all the values we have in karate. Some of these Tekken people (in the whole country, not only in Toulouse) show off, are mean to each other etc ... And also like in karate, we admire asians for being the best to do it in the whole world. What else ? I became a karate teacher. Took me a bit of time, it wasn’t hard but just took me time and dedication. I still met some great people all along this experience. I made peace with the old pals, vacays together were really incredible. Some of the sweetest days of this year. One of the sweetest day this year was the day I worked hard as hell and went back “home” to the one I love. What a lovely feeling. But I guess we didn’t lived it the same way ... Then, I also had the chance to make a karate lesson in the 1st place I’ve been taught karate !!! This was outstanding because I love to give back to those who gave me, and I love to inspire people. So, it was such a pleasure to tell these kids “I was standing where you are now. I started like you and I’ve been getting stronger and stronger. If I did it you can do it too !!!”. I truly believe some of those kids are about to be deadly strong, hopefully I’ll be done with competition haha. Talking about competition, i sadly lost my title in Andorra by mid June.  At the end of the competition, I promised to come back stronger and to revenge but there will be no revenge as this competition will not be repeated in 2019. Indeed, this Andorra 2018 was a great competition and a great trip. A cool trip, great team, great mates, a lot of alcohol, a good hotel room, and love ... so much love. A deadly hangover, but a lot of love. Sadly, there would not have been love again, as 1414 who was my coach for the weekend, my partner on the tatami and in life decided to take a different path from mine. Indeed, I promised to not talk too much about that but this is all the 2nd half of 2018 is about : me trying not to drown because of this heartbreak and it feels like everything is related to that. I got cocky and forgot the 1st and only love lesson my father taught me “nothing lasts forever, mostly in love”. Damn he was right. Even my mother was right for not trusting her at the begining, and God knows she’s never right usually. I won’t even mention what that break up costed me. But as the big bro says : there were no house, no kids, no joined bank account ... Only wasted times and dead dreams now. “La mort d’un rêve” ... it’s still something painful. S. is now a dead dream. I cannot imagine my own flesh meeting some destructive people like the ones I met and going through hard times like I’m going through. I wouldn’t be able to handle it. So no more S. and no more L., and it’s a hell of a problem as I’ve always built my life around the fact that I wanted them. And it’s painful because I wanted them with her. Nevermind, no one will ever know “what a great father I could be” as 1414 said. So much dreams. Gone. My 5 brothers took care of me as much as they could and they did amazingly great. I’ll never thank God enough for putting these guys into my life. Hope they know how much I love them. That was sad to see another one of them going back to his motherland but ... what an amazing last evening in Toulouse we spent. I’ll never forget this one.

Still talking about the break up and all the bad that happened this year : tbh I couldn’t draw good lessons from all of these bad things. Really. But like I said, I’ve seen good things coming from good people. So now I need to talk about 27. First of all, 27 was right on so many levels. (yes, I use numbers to not drop real names). Those who know me know that I love to experience, live everything. I would have been better without this heartbreak but still, it taught me new things. I could understand 27 better. When she talked about hell, she wasn’t joking at all. The doubts, the negativity, the hate, self-hate ... I think that’s too much to handle. But still, she still tried to help me when she saw me going through that hell. I couldn‘t thank her enough for this and that must be remembered. This is the whole reason I still wanted to write this sum up, in spite of all the bad things that happened. It was like : a soul lending a hand to another soul. Merci. Je ne l’oublierai jamais, je t’en dois une belle. Et toujours d’une âme à une autre. Tu dis le contraire mais tu as une belle âme et je suis sûr qu’il te reste beaucoup d’amour à donner. Tu as trop à donner à ce monde (en espérant que tu me lises un jour)

Also, I could understand 26 better. [...] And 26 still have the most beautiful smile in the whole world. No transition : Najwa Zebian said that « it’s unfair that new people in my life will have to destroy walls around me they didn’t even built » (btw I love this woman, she also had a big impact on my life through her reflexions) and I can tell she’s right but … trusting people is so hard these days. I really don’t know what to think about this statement. I think I’ve always been picky about who I let close to me and I still got fucked up by my ex-lover, my entourage … It’s all about who to trust, who to let in and who to cut … And it feels like I’ve been making the wrong decisions for years.

It’s starting getting late so let me end up with facts nobody cares. Neutral facts : I discovered lofi this year, my hero academia (FUCKING AWESOME !!!!), Tokyo Ghoul, 7DS, sword art online (great !!), la casa de papel, stranger things, sherlock, IP MAN 3, the good place, misfits, Juice Wrld blew up this year, NAV, Dosseh ... Funny how I discovered some of the saddest love song this year haha. Bad facts : I got injuried a lot. Females still played me a lot. Indeed I realized females are cruel but I still love them. This might be the proof we don’t chose our sexual orientation haha. Then, I couldn’t train properly from Sept to Dec. Oh, I can’t listen anymore to : Nicki, Kehlani, Rihanna or Cardi B. “More life” or “Views from the 6″ are albums I can’t listen to anymore. Well, GOOD FACTS now ! : Got a karate gi from J. (outstanding move), I put the young bloods in high school at Tekken and mangas haha. I met 80′s family and it was like a dream and I’m sure I got luckied in another dimension haha. 80 and 90 are still close to perfection in my eyes. 30 is still 30, with good and bad moods. I’m in peace with the sensei. I also received one of the best gift of my life. I learned that I was able to train by myself thanks to my power of mind !  To finish, I saw that I was able to forgive and still give love, even if it was pointless and too late.

Well, 2019 has already started and this will sure be a hell of a ride (January was ... special) as now I’m like on some quicksand shit. Let’s go ! And let’s not forget those 2018 that marked this year and I’ll surely be listening to in a decade (you need to know that I still listen to all the songs in the previous sum ups !). Enjoy :)

2018 Playlist

Dvsn - The morning after

Youv Dee - Opening

Tory Lanez - 48 floors

Roy Woods - Instinct feat MadeInTYO

XXXTENTACION - SAD!

Damso - Smog X Kyle - Ikuyo

Dosseh - Cœur de pirate X Guordan Banks - Keep you in mind

Marwa Loud - Je voulais (feat Laguardia)

Bazzi - Honest X Omar Kadir - The last thing I do

Oboy - Nuit X NAV - What I need

The Magician - Love break feat Hamza

Dinos - Les pleurs du mal

⚡ Dinos - Helsinki X Logic - The Glorious Five X Laylow - Digitalova ⚡

(Albums :6lack - East Atlanta love letter X Juice WRLD & Future - Wrld on drugs X Tory Lanez - Love me now & memories don’t die)

[liyuesbian]

Ok tumblr decided to erase half my ask so here we go again 😔

I kinda forgot about ei’s friends after her teaser dropped ngl 💀 you are so right that they should’ve been there, like how both Zhongli and Venti’s quests had a “let’s pay a visit to our dead or dying friends” arc /hj in hindsight I also wish there was one of those cool 2D PVs for Ei as well hhh it would be Epic to see her three friends like that!! Ig they thought it was covered by her teaser/demo or something? Since that had way more lore than usual, idk though. still hoping for a second quest about her hh

I’m kinda the opposite about lore digging but it’s probably just me lol, I tend to read lore in game only, but don’t have many of the artifacts/weapons that contain the lore I want to read. But disregarding that, I still want some of the worldbuilding to be put in like a story quest or something, since it would be interesting to see what other characters think about the stories in the artifacts and stuff (do different mondstadters have different opinions on their history? What do they think about the white knight or the gladiator? Also I wanna see Eula interacting with the noblesse oblige set. same with Liyue folk and all the Morax Legends lol. I digress tho)

Big same with the La Signora gripe. Shame on me ig but I didn’t read the crimson witch lore before I did the quest so the spoilers I saw didn’t mean much and there was no shock value during the big reveal in quest 💀 yeah I hope we’ll see or hear about her in Snezhnaya!! Her side of the story would be infinitely more interesting (pls not another artifact set tho-)

About Xiao, Ganyu, and Zhongli: this is why fix it fics exist I guess 😔 I’ve adopted an AO3 fic’s retelling as my version of canon (or at least something the traveler didn’t see)

Mm true it’s strange because I think he said thanked the traveler for being his companion while he was testing out his human life at the end of the archon quest (iirc) maybe it’s just because Liyue’s supposedly a big city so one new person doesn’t really matter to most people (fhdksd if something contradicts this, do tell) I think the fake death was still kinda necessary, at least for normal people to accept that Morax is Completely Gone so that the Qixing can get ultimate authority and total acceptance/respect (that npc who said Zhongli will always be in true control since he’s a god and the Qixing are mere mortals and stuff), but agree to disagree 😌 they’re all shady in some way in the end

I saw you are on genshin twt how is it 😔 (sadly I am on it too but I hate the timeline format because I keep missing posts) the amount of discourse of “whos bad, good, which problematic characters and ships need to be canceled”, and the amount of dissing that goes on there scares me

LITERALLY YOUR 2ND TO LAST PARAGRAPH that was what was missing from the archon quest. Where is my group effort guys?? I missed seeing the resistance… I hope the people speculating Kokomi gets a nice story quest are correct and that we’ll actually wrap up the loose resistance threads there… (also a lot of people are saying morally gray Kokomi? Is there any canon(derogatory) basis for that? I’m just curious because with the way things are going I feel like she’s going to be purely nice dhdkskf)

Im so sorry I think these just keep getting longer and longer aaa anyways, signing off! -mystic

noo i hate it when tumblr does that :((

(2.1 spoilers)

LMFAOOO maybe friendship is not magic after all ahaha but srsly, i agree w you i also want a 2nd quest for her !

ah that's fair enough if u don't have all the artifacts. and it would be easier if it was told to us through a quest of some sort. hmm i never thought about that 🤔 it's a shame that there's so much lore and the genshin universe is so beautifully worldbuilt but players will only notice if they personally read through the archives etc. and go out of their way :( hmm yeah maybe like a historical back-to-the-past type thing with the three clans and they all interact with the noblesse set? or even just diluc/eula/jean tbh

ah i read the lore for crimson before but i didn't remember it fully during the signora part so i had to read through it again after. the way it clicked in my head when it said "crimson witch of embers" and i was like ".....wait a minute....." AHAHA and it was only after that her lines during the fight like "don't call me a witch" or smth made me :'(((( the pale flame piece too 😭 sad hours

yeah at this point, the fanfiction writers should take over the genshin writing lol jk jk

mhm i guess the fake death would've been better and easier for closure ! (and woah u remember so much! i can't even remember that npc... it's been so long 😔 haha)

ah i think on genshintwt i'm usually more on the good side (? if u can call it that lmao) i do see quite a few discourse on ships, western vs. eastern fandoms and other yikes stuff but for genshin, it's mostly art that pops up on my timeline :] i follow wayyy too many artists but they're all so talented and they make such pretty art it's so 🥺 oh do you mean ur timeline isn't organised by latest posts first? if it's not, i can share how to make it that way!

yeah the resistance... :(( mhm! i was rly counting on a morally grey kokomi !!! LMFOAOO THE "canon (derogatory)" took me OUT PWAHAHA (i may reuse that quote ;D) that idea was mostly based on ayaka's last sentence (was it in the 2.0 archon quest?) where she said smth along the lines of the resistance having ulterior motives... and also how baal and co. defeated orobashi, the god they worship (like maybe kokomi was out for revenge?) but no sigh she's ur average good person :( idrc either way but i rly wanna see a morally grey female character where they appear good but are actually super dodgy and evil, that would be chef's kiss. but yeah, after that quest, she's definitely gonna be purely good :')

[thisselflovecamebacktome]

Reputation first day thoughts

So much to my surprise, Australia Post actually did their job and not only got the CD here on the release day for once but at 7 in the morning (so about 10 hours ago). I had hoped to do first listen thoughts, but unfortunately I had an exam on, meaning I could listen to the songs on the bus but not write about them. Either way though, here they are.

1. ...Ready For It: I’ve already said how much I like this song. I think it’s a brilliant album opener too. There’s not too much more to say.

Favourite lyric: I see how this is gonna go, touch me and you’ll never be alone..

2. End Game: I kinda guessed that she’d take the fandom meaning and run with that so no surprises there. Honestly though, I’m kinda disappointed with it at this point. Like I know that’s my own bad because I had such high expectations due to Everything Has Changed being so good in my opinion but this just feels like the far weaker of the collabs Ed and Taylor have done. I also think part of it is that I’m not really not feeling Future on this song. I don’t know, maybe it will grow on me, but right now it’s not my favourite.

Favourite lyric: I don’t wanna be just another ex lover you don’t want to see..

3. I Did Something Bad: Honestly, this song grew on me a lot the more I listened to it. Like my first listen I was kinda like “Yeah it’s alright. Bridge is really clunky though” and now I’m digging it. I mean I still don’t think the bridge runs as smooth as it could, but all up the song is dope. I also chuckle a little with every listen because this is like my mum’s theme so I can just imagine her reaction.

Favourite lyric: This is how the world works, now all he thinks about is me..

4. Don’t Blame Me: Movie soundtrack 101. Musically and theme wise it kinda reminds me of the version of Crazy In Love they used for 50 Shades (the superior version Beyonce did tbh). Like clearly it’s describing unhealthy love and I’m not trying to romanticise anything, but I’m really digging it and can somewhat relate it to myself because I can be extreme like that with love, even if it’s not healthy.

Favourite lyric: I’m insane, but I’m your baby

5. Delicate: Upon first listen, this was my favourite of the ‘new’ tracks up until this point of the album. Like I don’t know what else to say, I just really liked it. And honestly, upon first listen, this was where the album started to pick up for me.

Favourite Lyric: Sometimes when I look into your eyes, I pretend you’re mine all the damn time..

6. Look What You Made Me Do: So I’ve always said that musically I adore this, that hasn’t changed. The lyrics have grown on me a little, but honestly, it’s still my least favourite of the songs we had before today and perhaps of the album all up.

Favourite lyric: I don’t like your perfect crime, how you laugh when you lie..

7. So it goes...: Quickly became my second favourite up until this point of the album upon first listen but once again, it grew on me even more the more I listened to it.

Favourite lyric: ‘Cause we break down a little, but when I get you alone it’s so simple...

8. Gorgeous: Okay so I know I called this song just ‘Okay’ when it first was released, bit honestly, in the last few days it’s grown on me too. Like I love how catchy it is. I still wouldn’t put it above Ready For It or Call It What You Want in terms of songs we had before today, but I’d definitely say there’s a lot smaller gap between Ready For It and Gorgeous now than when it first came out in terms of my enjoyment.

Favourite lyric: You should think about the consequence of your magnetic field being a little too strong

9. Getaway Car: My only regret of listening to this album on the way to university was that I had to do it through earphones and this song is a perfect example of why that’s a shame. Literally so many of these songs I feel like are best listened to in a car, blaring out while you scream the lyrics and this was one. Rivalled my favourite new song up until this point of the album upon first listen.

Favourite lyric: He poisoned the well, I was lying to myself

10. King Of My Heart: Once again, this song grew on me upon more listens. Like my first impression was “This is cute” and it slowly turned into “Oh, I really like this actually. It’s a vibe tbh”. Also apparently the lyric is “Salute to me”, I heard “You move to me” rip.

Favourite lyric: Up on the roof with a schoolgirl crush, drinking beer out of plastic cups..

11. Dancing With Our Hands Tied: I Know Places 2.0 anyone? Honestly, I think this does a better job with the themes than I Know Places did. Like don’t get me wrong, I Know Places started strong but the mismatched bridge lets it down, this song does not have that issue. The starting instrumentation reminds me of some of that used in Tell Me You Love Me the album. I’m really hoping this or New Year’s Day is the piano song for tour, though I think it’s more likely this or Call It What You Want will be.

Favourite lyric: And I had a bad feeling... but we were dancing..

12. Dress: I love it. Like girl ;) go get it. I don’t think there’s much else I can say. Probably gonna be one of the songs I listen to most. Once again, I am finding out the lyric is “carve” when I heard “shout”

Favourite lyric: And if I get burned, at least we were electrified..

13. This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things: So I called that this was going to be about people ruining things for her, but I did not think that it was going to be the Kimye call out song. It kind of sounds like This Is How We Do to be honest. But honestly, I like it, especially the bit (ya’ll know what I mean) and would 10/10 send it to some assholes haha.

Favourite lyric: And here’s to you, because forgiveness is a nice thing to do... I can’t even say it with a straight face..

14. Call It What You Want: So I put my very extensive thoughts here, but in short, it’s my favourite from the songs we had before today, perhaps my favourite from the album and definitely one of my favourite songs ever. I’m so happy for Taylor that she got to find this kind of love.

Favourite lyric:  No one’s heard from me for months, I’m doing better than I ever was..

15. New Year’s Day: I almost teared up the first time I heard this. Brilliant closer, as Taylor has always done so no surprises but yeah, I really love it.

Favourite lyric: Please don’t become a stranger whose laugh I could recognise anywhere.

All up this album has a lot of growers, hence why I don’t want to to a favourite to least favourite order like I did with 1989, because honestly, it’d have probably changed by the end of the night. Would I place it above RED like everyone seemed to claim it was? Right now the answer is no. But it’s definitely a contender for my second favourite Taylor album so far.

[appelrin-blog]

Progress Update [jp;kr;no;nl]

Hello hello,

I’ve definitely slowed down when posting updates, I do apologise (if anyone was particularly interested in them... haha!). As I’ve said many times before, I’m also juggling decorating an apartment and work at the same time, so some days I find myself quite busy. Following on from my small update yesterday, where I wrote a little post in Korean saying I had no time and I didn’t study Korean yesterday. I didn’t study anything yesterday BUT I did watch two episodes of the anime ‘Death Parade’ and noted down some new vocabulary which is always nice. I then rewatched both episodes later that night with my boyfriend which reinforced that new vocabulary, which is always great! I’ve been keeping up with Memrise for all languages - which is an amazing feat for me. Duolingo has taken a backseat once again, unfortunately. I find it hard to keep up with it sometimes, but I’m eagerly awaiting for Korean on Duolingo! I hope Android gets it the same time as iOS! Still also waiting for Dutch tree 2.0, when that finally releases I think I’ll definitely work on finishing the tree, and getting right back into my studies. Norwegian is slow as ever, but that’s how I like it!  Okay, that’s it for the general summary.  Let’s break each language down and see what I’ve been doing: Korean: I found the TV show Heart Signal recently which seems to be the Korean version of Terrace House with a twist. All the participants need to anonymously text the person they are interested in at midnight every night. They don’t know who the text is from as it gets to set to a manager who then forwards it to the right person. There’s 3 girls and 3 boys, and I’ve watched all of episode 1 and about half of episode 2. The episodes are quite long (1 hour and 20 minutes!), and a lot of it is subbed in Korean, especially the interactions between the house members. I’m really enjoying it and I’ve picked up some words/expressions already. It’s great to hear real, natural Korean out in the wild, it’s also interesting to see dynamics between young Koreans from a cultural standpoint, and how they build relationships. I’m really enjoying it but I’ve had to take the episodes in small bites, as it’s hard to commit almost 2 hours everyday to just watching a TV show, so I’ve been watching it alongside working through ‘How To Study Korean’, a site I am really enjoying working through. I’ve also been keeping up with Memrise and doing the HTSK deck there. All in all, Korean is going quite well, and I’m very much enjoying it. I’m hoping by next week, I can write a small paragraph on HelloTalk and receive corrections/improvements to see how far I’ve came so far! Japanese: I went by my fathers house last night and picked up yet more books. I have a huge bookshelf there with all my Japanese books on, and I’ve been slowly picking them up. Tonight I grabbed my N2 新完全マスター series books (and some manga!) Very happy to be reunited with them. Planning to work through 語彙 and 文法, then possibly 読解. I have plans to eventually take the N2, I’m thinking it’ll be next years resolution, but for now, I’m using them to refine my Japanese, especially vocabulary and grammar. I’ve been practising speaking on HelloTalk by sending voice messages. I’m not confident enough to call people, and I’m worried about awkward silences, so I figured voice messages are better. I can take my time, and can still get some speaking practice. It’s been quite successful so far, and it feels really good when you speak, send it off, and they reply... you think, huh, I’m actually communicating in this language! Alongside that, I’ve been keeping up with my 読書の秋 project. I read about 3 pages last night, and noted down about 15 words. The words themselves are very literature-only, so I’m not sure if I want to commit them all to memory. I would say about 3 are actually daily use. I plan to read more pages today, and I’ll write a post about it either tonight or on the weekend. Dutch: Forever forever sitting in the back. I’m still watching a Dutch video daily, however! I have kept up with that. I’ve also kept up with doing Dutch on Memrise, still working on Dutch 1 but slowly approaching the end. Dutch 2 is in sight! My boyfriend showed me a conversation with his friend last night and I was able to read it and laugh. My passive knowledge is seemingly light years ahead of my active knowledge, but that’ll soon be changing once I get started working on textbooks again. I luckily have a lot of exposure so even though I’m not actively studying it, I’m still hearing it, or reading it, or even using the odd word with my boyfriend.  Norwegian: Right now, it’s the posts I see on Tumblr and Memrise. I don’t mind though! I’m enjoying taking it slow. I also got recommended a Norwegian Youtuber, so I’m thinking I’ll add their videos into my daily routine. But not a lot to report on Norwegian. 

- x - 

and that is it! Slow and steady wins the race, I guess. I’m enjoying taking my languages at the pace they are, as I’m terribly worried I’ll get burnt out. It’s not the goal, its the journey (keeps telling herself motivational phrases to deal with everything)... hehe. -appelrin

[magicaleggplant]

Wait, eggplant? You're the one who made this [redacted]? I always reread that post and reminiscing the good ol days of king Nathan since forever :'). Nathan's career is such wild ride. Tbh I actually thought he will never be a top contender and become an ss god™ quadless king of murrica because of his problems with 3A. And now he is plotting​ world domination with his beloved 4 different quads ("4lo soon™"). I am honestly terrified with him now. Goddamit kid

HAHA yes (removed the link but it’s not that hard to find anyway, i guess) can’t believe i’ve literally been watching nathan since he was 10 years old. he always learned jumps so fast (3A excepted) and was competitive and consistent (when he wasn’t injured) so i always thought he would be successful, but i didn’t expect him to uh. have THIS many quads lmao. i’m both surprised and not surprised at all about how successful he’s been this season. he’s got that special combination of jumping talent, persistent hard work, steely nerves and refusal to lose that will take him far, i think, as long as he can stay healthy. he is a tough competitor.

im v excited but also VERY nervous about marin's senior debut... also, about squad, when would they even get the chance to be on the podium together now, i feel like they've missed their chance in juniors bc yuzuru always gotta be up there and ruin my dreamz smh

i never know what to expect from marin...when she’s off she’s off, but when she’s on she’s really ON. hopefully she’ll have a good GP debut but she usually peaks later in the season. a lot of people are gonna be watching her so i hope she can deal with the nerves well. as for sQuad, lol hopefully they’ll be on a podium together someday...they still have time. i hope. (just GIVE THIS TO ME UNIVERSE, at least ONCE)

trickleficklepickle: Nathan can jump his 51 quads in his polar bear onesie.

breaking records in jumps and in fashion, truly an innovator

what are the qualifications for one to be a card carrying sQuad member? for ex yuzuru does a good number of quads and has made records with them but he isn't in the sQuad. is it an age range thing?

i never really thought about this because it’s like...not that deep lmao. but hmmm, well you gotta have multiple quads, and the harder quads, not just toe and sal because lots of skaters have those, you have to be able to land those quads most of the time, you have to be pushing the boundaries in some way and light a fire under your seniors’ ass straight out of juniors, and yeah you gotta be in the same generation, more or less. yuzuru’s def pushed technical boundaries but he’s not really in the same generation as shoma/boyang/nathan so it feels weird to include him? and he’d already been around for a while before the whole quad revolution started. i see sQuad really as this “new face of skating”, vanguard of the new generation kind of thing, children of the quad revolution. so it’s very dependent on timing as well. like, vincent is a bit younger than shoma/boyang/nathan but he’s part of this “new face of skating” thing so i kind of consider him as the fourth musketeer, for now. sQuad version 2.0. i wonder who from his generation will join him. (btw none of this is to brush off what yuzuru and older skaters before him have done i shouldn’t have to clarify this but just talking about why it feels weird to include him in this one light-hearted label that my friend came up with on the fly)

Awwwe, I wish we freeze time for the sQuad.

i’m not entirely sure what you mean by that, but what i wish for them is good health for as long as possible ;;;; i don’t know what all these quads will do to the younger generation’s bodies. sometimes i worry that they don’t have that much time left. there’s something to be said for incandescent, but short, careers, but 1) i’m selfish and i want them to compete longer, and 2) age and experience gives skating another quality that simply doesn’t exist when you’re younger.

boyang and shoma tornado BOYANG AND SHOMA TORNADO

it’s been many hours and i still feel blessed in my entire body and soul (i just want them to be friends so bad ;;;;)

[aemrith]

Boruto Series

I dunno.... I'll keep watching since I already started it. Seems like a good enough 22 minute deal every Thursday. I'll try and keep up. I have tons of shit to say before... with regards to this whole new leg of the franchise, the movie, the manga etc.. But I'm just dead tired of explaining opinions etc., I realized it's much easier to just watch and comment / complain on my own. BUT LET ME SAY THIS AT LEAST... FOR FCK'S SAKE... AT LEAST PUT A BIT MORE EFFORT INTO THE ORIGINAL CHARACTERS... I appreciate Denki, and even that Iwabe dude... but... Like omg.. Class Rep is screaming Hinata 2.0 its very cringe-worthy. Like... EVEN THE COLOR SCHEME!? There are a gazillion color palletes, and you chose THAT!? And ppl are gonna start shipping her with Boruto...!? oh please... INOJIN AND SHIKADAI THO. Well, damn boys. I love those two. Metal Lee is such a cutie pie as well. Chouchou is such an adorable munchkin! I loved her ever since Gaiden, so I'm glad this isn't too far off. Sarada is a perfect mixture, even till this point. I'd still ditch the scarf, but wth. As long as she stays having that lil tomboyish vibe, I'm cool. I didn't like how she's a bit erm.. girly-fied in the manga, but the anime version of her being tsun2 made me happy at least. I actually like her acting all tsundere-ish, it's a perfect mixture of her parents 😂 Despite what I said that I wouldn't ramble, this post still became long. Oh well. Peace out peeps! Let's enjoy this ridiculous ride, I guess. haha!

[thebiggaylion]

Bassnectar @ EDC Orlando 2016

Hey everyone, I’m back!  Sorry for the delay, had to let the guy behind The Big Gay Lion take care of some business.  I hope everyone’s Pride Month has been going well!  While I had to take those few weeks off, I was wondering whose set would be “right” for my return, and I think the outspoken Bassnectar is the best choice.  He’s absolutely on the right page for PLUR, and that ain’t nothing new.  Enjoy this twelve video post!  And you guessed it... because there’s so many in this original post, I had to split it up.  There’s two parts, and each have four embedded video frames.  If you’re paying attention, you know that doesn’t add up.  That’s because this time around the slow motion ones don’t have their own embedded frame.  Make sure to look at the links underneath each frame for the “normal speed” versions!

YouTube | Facebook | Instagram Bassnectar’s got some dedicated fans, doesn’t he?  I think I’m remembering correctly that one of the first totems I remember seeing at EDC Orlando 2015 (but didn’t recognize at the time) was his logo!  I was very excited to catch his set, even though Nicole Moudaber was playing at neonGARDEN.  Shortly after his intro, I started taking this video, and... (spoilers ahead) THAT happened.  And this wasn’t the only time it happened, either!  There was an extended period of Bassnectar not having anything to play through, so I decided to take this opportunity to go get in the mood.  As far as timelines go, go ahead and insert everything from my Nicole Moudaber post after this video.  I walked down Electric Avenue, visited neonGARDEN for a while.  Continue on for where things pick up after that jaunt! Bass Against Machine - King Kong https://soundcloud.com/highchai/08-bass-against-machine-king-kong

Slow Motion:  YouTube | Facebook | Instagram Normal Speed:  YouTube | Facebook | Instagram Once I started hearing very strange noises back at circuitGROUNDS, I knew the hardware problem had been resolved, and Bassnectar was back on.  I took the long way around Lake Beardall to get back, and decided I was going to keep filming some slow motion shots.  Unfortunately, I didn’t think about the need for quicker exposures when recording in slow motion, so the next two shots (and their "normal speed’ counterparts) are a bit dark, a bit fuzzy, and ultimately not terribly exciting. We Bang & Mister Black - R U Ready https://soundcloud.com/dubstep/we-bang-mister-black-r-u-ready-premiere

Slow Motion:  YouTube | Facebook | Instagram Normal Speed:  YouTube | Facebook | Instagram Yeah, like I said.  Not terribly exciting.  But hey, at least this one has a bit more color!  And you can see the flickering LED inside the floating daisies on Lake Beardall going back and forth to create a purple light.  Neat, eh?  At least, I THINK that’s what’s causing that... Corporate - Ice https://soundcloud.com/dirtyduckaudio/corporate-ice-original-mix

YouTube | Facebook | Instagram After a while, I pretty much got my old spot back.  Man, this was a really great circuitGROUNDS stage, wasn’t it?  Real talk, it’s been my favorite so far.  Sure, the “2.0″ of this design that we saw at EDC Las Vegas 2017 and EDC Orlando 2017 had larger trapezoids, but the accompanying screens to either side--and the 360-degree design--really made this a phenomenal venue!  I’ve seen what Insomniac has done for the EDC Las Vegas 2018 circuitGROUNDS stage and wrap-around elements.  It’s growing on me.  If EDC Orlando 2018 gets that design for it’s venue, I hope it can fill enough of us Headliners’ views to not seem lacking.  Regardless, these visuals are doing the most, so I wanted to get a video of it all!  Who doesn’t love a kaleidoscope? Bassnectar - Loco Ono (Bassnectar & Stylust Beats Remix) https://soundcloud.com/bassnectar/loco-ono-bassnectar-stylust Bassnectar feat. Lafa Taylor - Speakerbox https://soundcloud.com/bassnectar/bassnectar-speakerbox-ft-lafa-taylor

Slow Motion:  YouTube | Facebook | Instagram Normal Speed:  YouTube | Facebook | Instagram And who doesn’t love moving the glass inside a kaleidoscope around nice and slowly so you can focus on the subtle changes?  I really love how the bright white lights seem to be rotating as they strobe.  I wonder if that’s an effect of a rolling shutter, or if that’s the electricity / commands hitting the electronics for “on”, “off” at different intervals?  Either way, it’s pretty awesome! Bassnectar feat. Lafa Taylor - Speakerbox https://soundcloud.com/bassnectar/bassnectar-speakerbox-ft-lafa-taylor

YouTube | Facebook | Instagram Speaking of awesome, you know how I love tech.  And green lasers!  So during a huge green laser flood, I decided to see if the lasers were reaching the stadium that EDC Orlando usually wraps around in a big hug.  Not only were they indeed clearly visible, but they also looked really cool!  Since this moment, I will often look backwards during a performance, just to see what the laser pattern looks like on a flat surface haha.  The guy behind The Big Gay Lion says he’s been doing it, too! Excision & Downlink - Heavy Artillery (SKisM Remix) https://soundcloud.com/weareskism/excision-downlink-heavy-artillery-skism-rmx

YouTube | Facebook | Instagram Bassnectar’s set is ending, and I wanna get a decent position for Hardwell at kineticFIELD, so on the way out, I get a new vantage point to circuitGROUNDS, and it’s looking good!  I paused for this video, and the next two as well.  Being up front is totally electric, but you usually miss out on some of the visuals being that close.  I think I noticed myself standing a bit further back for EDC Orlando 2017.  One, because the husband of the guy behind The Big Gay Lion liked his breathing room, and my biggest fan and his friends never really got all that close either.  I think I might try to get a bit closer for EDC Orlando 2018, even if I have to trek up there by myself!  I’m sure I’ll meet some new friends, anyway! Proko - Make It Work https://soundcloud.com/prokobass/proko-make-it-work-1

Slow Motion:  YouTube | Facebook | Instagram Normal Speed:  YouTube | Facebook | Instagram Those light sweeps were looking great, so I took this one in slow motion.  What a unique sound Bassnectar has!  At least to these lion ears, that is.  If he happens to come around again, I may just have to see him a second time! Proko - Make It Work https://soundcloud.com/prokobass/proko-make-it-work-1

Speaking of, did you see the kineticLOVE stage announcement for EDC Orlando 2018?  It’s not entirely unexpected, as EDC Orlando has gotten the EDC Las Vegas kineticFIELD design since kineticCATHEDRAL in 2014.  But, it’s nice to see them talking about us for 2018!  I’ve seen a few artists already announcing late fall shows for central Florida, so I know the industry is indeed planning for November and such... so, where’s that EDC Orlando lineup, eh Insominac?  Usually we don’t get it until August, but I’m hoping with the earlier-than-usual pacing of Insomniac’s behavior towards EDC Orlando 2018, that we’ll see the lineup sooner?  I just knew such an early announcement was going to test my heart health...  Don’t forget to use the split posts if you need to go easy on your memory by avoiding everything all crammed into one post!  Love ya’ll, see ya next time! 🏳️‍🌈🦁❤

Out and proud in as many places as I can manage!  Join me, would ya? Facebook | Tumblr (Index) | YouTube | Instagram | Twitter | Web