#to hold my partner's glasses while they moshed. to hook my friends' arms under mine and guide them away from traffic. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

non-un-topo · 6 months

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Thoughts at the bar this Friday. I also started reading Pageboy, and although it sometimes hits close to home, it's giving me some good gender-affirming feelings. Elliot Page and I have a roughly 2-inch height difference.

#siggy draws #meself #i may be 5'2 but around my friends i am still 'dad'. and although being the sober one this friday was boring and isolating at times -#- it also allowed me to protect my friends and my partner. to look out for them and get them water.#to hold my partner's glasses while they moshed. to hook my friends' arms under mine and guide them away from traffic.#i had a gastroscopy in the morning so my throat and stomach were pretty sore and i couldn't sing or talk much. couldn't drink or smoke.#so i was just this sort of sweet little quiet guy and my partner and friends kept swarming me with kisses and words of affection.#''as an experiment'' i'd asked them all to refer to me as he/him for the night and they hugged me so tightly #and it didn't feel weird #my clothes are still too big. my face is still too feminine. i'm the size of a middle-schooler. but around them i'm 'dad' and 'dude'#thinking of hitting up a clothing swap because i can't afford new clothes or shoes. i'm also looking into some ftm-specific support groups #transgender #gender euphoria #genderfluid #honestly idek #trans butch maybe? i love my children (friends) but i will kill them for forever saying i'm a twink

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